GO MEET WOMEN! Freedomain Livestream - Transcript

[0:00] There we go, stretching. Thank you, everybody. Good evening.
Oh, it's our last Friday Night Live of the new, of the last, of the 2023.
It's, the year is flying by, the year it's flashed by, like Ezra Miller on the run.
And let's get to your question.

IQ and its relationship with left-wing ideas

[0:17] Hi, Steph. Is IQ the Achilles heel of socialism slash communism?
One of the most forbidden topics today is IQ. Is the reason simply that it's the left's greatest weakness?
It seems to me that left-wing ideas fall apart part in the world where IQ is understood by the majority of people.
So IQ, of course, and educational attainment, IQ and income are very closely related.
I think you can do a lot with IQ and certainly wisdom is better than mere raw intelligence.
I would rather be wise than smart because wisdom leads to virtue, leads to happiness, intelligence leads to income, which often leads to corruption.

[0:54] But what IQ does is it helps us understand disparities in outcomes between individuals.
And this gives us some understanding and some peace and some grace to recognize that people who aren't good singers won't be fronting any rock and roll bands.
They won't be featured doing solos at the Metropolitan Opera.
And that's fine. There's There's more to life than IQ, there's more to life than income, and so it is important to understand IQ.
But one of the problems with IQ is that it undermines the guilt mechanism.
Like if you do well in life, you've worked hard, you've got a high IQ, some of that is just good luck, right? You understand some of that is just good luck.

[1:44] And you should be grateful for that good luck. You should be gracious about that good luck.
And I think, for me, the study of IQ brings a great deal of humility in that, you know, obviously I've got a couple of brain cells rattling around the old noggin, and it helps me to be humble and to not take the accidental gifts of nature as somehow foundational to my value as an individual, right? Like, what are we worth?
Are we worth our brain matter? Nope, because what is philosophical must be earned, right?
If it's not earned, it's in the realm of biology, right?
If it's in the realm of biology, that's a fine study and all of that, but it's not in the realm of philosophy.
Philosophy is about free will, empiricism, and most notably, virtue.
A virtue has to be something that is earned. If it is a virtue to be tall, it's biology and genetics.
It has nothing to do with philosophy. And so philosophy focuses on what you can earn, which means what you can change, and it focuses on happiness, and there is no greater path to happiness than the pursuit of virtue and the achievement of virtue.
But really, it's the pursuit of virtue because that's all you can, you know, like you can pursue health, but you can't achieve it directly.
You can have good health habits and so on.

[3:02] So for me, the study of IQ brings humility. It also means that if you are gifted in terms of intelligence, you should recognize your good fortune, that you didn't earn it, and therefore it should be as much as possible turned to the good of humanity.
And it should also give us patience with people who aren't quite as smart, that they're not lazy, they're not, I wouldn't even call them dumb or anything like that. I think that's kind of insulting.
They're just, you know, like people who are a little bit shorter, right? That they may have some strengths.
They won't be making the basketball team probably anytime soon.
Soon, but it gives us a certain amount of patience and grace when it comes to dealing with humanity, and it gives us a certain amount of humility and almost an obligation to service when it comes to dealing with our own particular gifts.

Applying the non-aggression principle and focusing on child abuse

[3:49] But what it does do is it unplugs the guilt-laden vending machine, right?
The guilt-laden vending machine is, well, in a free market situation, the only reason that guy is wealthier is because he's stolen from all of his workers, like, and just you create this resentment, and that's kind of a demonic force, and IQ pushes back against that, and so on, right? So hopefully that helps.

[4:16] All right, let's see here. If the left regained rationality, they would be totally fine.
They would have to abandon ideology like wokeism and antinatalism, worshipping the the state, et cetera, maybe it's too much of a leap.
Well, it's not like rationality is confined to the right alone, right?

[4:37] Let's see here. If communism is female mentality for running households applied to violence-based societies, then there's never hope that evidence and understanding of anything will stop it until kids aren't abused at home and people live by universal morality.
Well, we focus on how to uphold the non-aggression principle in the areas in which we have influence and control, right?
It's one of the great tricks of sophistry, is to have you focus your ethics on things that require you to be evil to attain them right so so if sophists can get you to think that the ultimate state of human perfection is everyone being equal then they're saying that you have to do evil in order to achieve good now of course the evil you do the good is never attained which is why the evil always tends to escalate, So this is why I've really focused on applying virtue, logic, reason, and evidence in your own life, and the non-aggression principle in your own life is most applicable to, of course, child abuse, right?
If you have, and this was sort of my beef to some degree with libertarians, I guess lo these nearly 20 years ago, which is they'd say, well, I'm really into the non-aggression principle, and I would say, well, that's interesting, that's good, I suppose, that's It's important.

[6:03] So what is the greatest violation of the non-aggression principle that you have the most control over?
What is the greatest violation of the non-aggression principle that you have the most control over?
And of course, it's spanking, muscling, timeouts, circumcision, all other forms of violence over the bodies of children.
So if you're interested in promoting the non-aggression principle, you look for the widest violation of the non-aggression principle that you have the most control over, and you focus on that.
But the fundamental semi-autistic addiction of libertarians is politics.
And listen, I'm the last one to sort of throw stones in that glass house, because I spent a lot of time on politics, but I think my very second show was about child abuse back in 2005, so let's just say I've had my finger in more than one pot, so to speak.
The addiction to politics is the avoidance of child abuse, for the most part, sir. All right.

[7:08] Hey, Steph, thanks for being here. Thank you. I appreciate that.
I'm having an argument with a friend about whether or not his mom is a prostitute.
Are you really? You're having an argument with your friend about whether or not his mom is a prostitute.
She married his dad, even though they don't share values. Later, she divorced him, slept around, then came back to him.
My theory is the other guy couldn't provide as much money as her husband.
My mom thinks his mom, my friend thinks his mom is a slut, not a prostitute.

[7:35] Right.

[7:39] All right.

Questioning the value of debates about personal matters

[7:42] I got to ask you. I mean, everybody knows what I'm going to ask you, right? I got to ask you.
Why are you having these kinds of debates and discussions? Do you consider this?
I'm not saying that everything has to be Socratic levels of elevation and discourse.
Lord knows I've been known to make a few dick and balls and dick jokes in my day. but is this really where you want to be spending your time, effort, and energy with people as a whole?
So, I don't know. Of course, I don't know the answer to the question.
But I would say that it may not be the most elevated discourse you could get involved in.
All right.
Hey, Steph, you have mentioned how any coerced enterprise will have the opposite effect compared to its stated purpose. Can you please talk a little bit about the mechanisms behind this?
Right, okay.

[8:45] If the stated... Well, hello, Fatty What?
Sorry, Raisin Sack, happy new year back to you too. And gnarly you.
Gnarly you, I think that must be some teenageism these days.
Okay, so a coerced enterprise will have the opposite effect compared to its stated purpose.
Purpose. So we can look at something as simple as a guy's really attracted to a girl, and so he phones her 30 times a day, he sends her flowers twice a day, and he hangs out in front of her place.
And of course, what happens is, what happens? She's like, ah, she gets a restraining order or a no-contact order, and she's generally terrified, right?
Or a guy hears that, you know, know women like men who are emotionally available and so he screams and cries and and and rants and raves and and uh you know bursts into tears and all this kind of stuff and and then he just looks dangerously unstable right so a coerced enterprise will have the opposite effect compared to its purpose because its stated purpose always ignores the fact of the coercion.

[9:55] So if you had some godforsaken friend who said, I really like Sally, so I'm going to kidnap her, lock her up in my basement until she falls in love with me, you would tell him that's immoral, evil, and you would certainly prevent him from doing anything like that.
And if you had to, you'd go to the cops and you'd warn Sally, right?
Because this would be a thoroughly immoral thing to do.
Because he'd be like, well, no, no, she just needs exposure to me.
And once she, to know me is to love me, even if you're locked in my basement.
And you'd say, well, no, because it's the violence overshadows everything else, right?
So let's look at the welfare state. So the welfare state says, we're going to make the poor middle class by taking for the rich and giving to the poor.

[10:37] Now, the stated purpose is egalitarianism. the stated purpose is charity, but the mechanism is coercion.
In the same way that your friend kidnapping a woman, the stated purpose is love, but the mechanism is kidnapping and confinement, right? So that's not a good thing.
So anybody who's hiding the mechanism by which they're supposed to achieve their stated goals is guilty, right?
They feel bad about it. I mean, they don't like it, right?
So they don't say, we're going to throw people in jail if they don't do what we want to achieve virtue, right?
Like if the girl doesn't like me, I'll lock her in my basement until she tells me she likes me and falls in love with me and so on, right?
So the people who are running these coercive enterprises.

The Hidden Violence Behind Stated Intentions

[11:32] Are not telling you the facts about what's going on. and they're not saying we're going to use violence to achieve good.
Now, why aren't they saying we're going to use violence to achieve good?
Because they know that people won't accept it. So they're lying to begin with.
Now, if they're lying to begin with and people wouldn't accept what they're...
Like if someone comes up to you and says, hey man, give me your...

[12:02] Give me your trust and I'll rip you off, right? Then you won't you won't give them your trust and Then they won't rip you off.
So they have to be dishonest as a con job, right? So why would someone who?

[12:15] Who wants to use violence to achieve good, not talk about the violence, but only the good.
Because they know that their plan will be rejected if they're honest about it.
In the same way a con man's plan is rejected.
And the same way if some guy says to a woman, come on a date with me, we'll meet in the woods, and then I'll kidnap you and lock you in my basement. She wouldn't go, right?
Because he's being explicit and upfront about his desire for violence.
So if someone is hiding the violence but dangling the good it's because they don't care about the good they just want to do the violence right they don't they don't care about the good, they just want to do the violence which is why when they say we want to be charitable and they use the language of voluntarism we want to help the poor we want to equalize things we want to feed the hungry and house the homeless and clothe the cold and so on, the people who are cold.
They have all of these voluntarist, free will, moral terms, but what is actually happening, of course, is that they're going to be using violence, which they don't talk about.
So why would somebody dangle all these moral ideals if they didn't actually have, as their fundamental goal, the use of violence?

[13:34] So it's demonic right they'll tempt you with a goal and get you to ignore the methods right tempting you with the goal while getting you to ignore the methods is foundational to the spread of coercion right so the parents who say i hit my child because my i want my child to be good don't, actually really care about their child being good, right? Because if they cared about their child being good, they would do the research and they would try and have consistency in their life and they'd say, well, who else do I hit in order to become good, right?
If I have employees, do I beat them so that the employees are more productive?
If I have a wife or a girlfriend, why do I beat those people to make them good?
Or if there's some kid at the playground, do I beat that kid to make him good?
And it's like, no, so you don't really care and you haven't really thought it through.
And you haven't done the research you haven't looked up what are the empirical effects, of spanking right so you don't care about your kid being good you like hitting kids right so that's why it will always be the case that stated intentions that don't that aren't honest about the mechanism by which things occur uh those things are simply covers to get you to accept the violence because, you know, I've got to tell you guys, I mean, I'm sure you know this and all, but, you know, there's a lot of people in this world who really like violence.

Using Covers to Accept Violence

[15:04] Right? There are a lot of people in this world, not only do they really like violence, but they're really good at it too.
They're really good at covering it up. They're really good at selling it.
They're really good at hiding its enactment. I mean, they're really, really good.

[15:26] At the violence thing. And it's really tough to compete with them because that's their specialty, right?
Thank you, Josh. Happy Friday. Free cookies for anyone who likes the stream today. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you so much.
Cookies. I don't know. What is the Cookie Monster voice? I never liked Sesame Street. I found it kind of creepy and tragic.
Let's get ready to ramble all right let's get to your questions comments, last stream of 2023 i think i'm doing a sunday morning one 11 a.m that's on the 31st so that's right before is that the real stefan molyneux that is a very epistemological question there my friend, All right. Yes, like the stream, share the stream.
Share the stream.

[16:20] Ah, let me get to your comments here. Can we please have a tech rant?
I need to laugh. Tech rant, I need to laugh.
Oh, yeah, what was happening?
Oh, yeah, so I did a call-in show today with a woman.
Well, let's just say her sister was murdered and things kind of went from there.
So I did a call today, and I needed to get a tablet ready for that call, and Windows was like, oh, hang on, I'm just doing some updates.
Just a couple updates, you'll be good to go. And I'm like, okay.
So, you've done your updates. I just need to reboot, right?
Just reboot, that's it? Just reboot in, you know, three minutes? Yeah, three minutes!
I remember the lie of three minutes on my honeymoon. Anyway, three minutes. and I'm like, okay, so you just reboot and I can use the tablet, right? It was a Windows tablet, obviously.
It's like, okay, so just reboot and I'll use the tablet, right? Okay, absolutely.
Windows is configuring itself. Swirl, swirl, swirl, swirl, swirl, swirl. I'm like, okay.
Anytime. I mean, what are you, like reformatting the internet here?
What are you, like building the data up byte by byte by byte?

[17:39] And it really, I ended up having to abandon it and use another computer to do the call-in show because an hour later, it was still swirls.
And of course, then you think it's stuck, so you hold down the power button, but it wouldn't turn off.
And at this point, I don't need a tech grant.
I need a priest and a holy Bible because apparently Bill Gates isn't dead, although quite demonic, and he's just completely possessed my tablet.
And it's just like, okay, I can't turn it off. It won't boot.

[18:08] What's happening and then i'm like okay well i just unplug it it's you know and over a day or so i whatever it'll it'll wind down its battery and so on so but i'm like so i unplug it and then of course i'm gonna come back on check in an hour and it's like oh we're up we're up and so of course i log in and then it's like oh you know what uh could you just do me a favor i just got some updates to install would you mind just giving me a reboot i'm like holy water and uh i don't know i think it's still i think it's still rebooting and this was after so my my daughter and i went to go and see the hunger games then the new one the she pronounced it a lot i guess somebody had a lot of fun nobody corrected her on that the ballad of songs and snakes or i don't know opossums and narwhals or something like that so we want to go and see that so i have a little um two dual microphones phone set that plugs into an iphone right so i record on that and we did a 48 minute show it's available for subscribers at free demand.locals.com it's uh it was funny a little spicy so it's for donuts at free domain.locals.com so i'm like okay good so now and it's been a while since I've used an iPhone for any kind of recording.
So I'm like, okay, I got a 780-meg file because, you know, I record as high quality as possible, right?
So I got a 780-meg file.

Frustration with iPhone Data Retrieval

[19:37] All I got to do is get that off the iPhone.
But apparently, this is like going in with Indiana Jones to the bowels of the earth, past the flying monkeys and the lava snakes to get the data.
It's like, just give me the data.
Just give me the data. So, of course, you know, you plug it in.
It's like, oh, it only gives me the videos and the photos in Windows. Okay, fine.
So then I tried another program that I used to get longer videos, because sometimes when I use the iPhone with a longer video, It doesn't show up in Windows if it's like over 8 gigs, or so I have to use another program.
Oh, I can't find it. The audio is only MP3. So I'm like, okay.
And it's been a long time since I've done this. I think maybe it was something with iTunes.
Now, iTunes is not the same as a virus, because you can clean a virus.
ITunes is like way worse than a virus, because I'm like plugging in my iPhone, and I'm like, I just want the data.
At this point, I'm like, I'm going to stand there with a microphone and just have it play and record it that way.
Just give me my 780 megs file. That's all. That's all. Just give me the file. Give me the data.

[20:42] This is like being the Prince of Persia. The virginal princess is locked up in the high tower. Just give me the data.
So I put up iTunes, and I plug in my phone, and it's like, oh, and it's like, oh, yeah, I remember this one tiny little icon with your phone thing. It's one tiny little icon.
So I click on that, and then it's like, oh, what do I do? and I think there's some app, there's an app setting where you go to the app and then you can get the data from the app and then you can get it to your but it just freezes it just freezes, right?
Like honestly, and I tried updating it I just like, no, it's updated it's updated, just FU, it just freezes so then I'm like, okay, I just need I just want this data, it's actually more time getting the data off the phone than it is just recording it, right?
But it is the only dual microphone thing, like dual lapel microphone setup I have is the one that just plugs directly into an iPhone, so So then I'm like, okay, I guess I'll upload it to a cloud.
I'll upload it to the cloud, and then I'll download it from the cloud.
And, of course, it gets to three-quarters of upload.
I literally have to try five times to get it to upload to the cloud because I've got to keep the screen on.
I've got to keep thumbing the screen while I'm walking around.
And it's just like, oh, my God.
I can't believe the shit that goes on with this stuff. It's just incredible.
What style cold weather hats do you wear first winter without hair.

[22:10] Well i'm a big guy for a hoodie and also i like those um yorkshire caps like those the yorkshire caps they're kind of cool and of course with skiing which i haven't done for a while but with skiing as a whole um i'm kind of keen on the old balaclava so all of that so do you talk about the topic of significance.

[22:33] I like to sometimes, yes, sometimes, no. Hey, Steph, two thumbs up.
Have you ever dealt with a boss who sets unrealistic deadlines?
All I've been doing is busting my butt to meet the deadline, but I can't ever meet his expectations and he gets upset at me.
I generally take double or even triple of what my supervisor states, and I'm one of the few people qualified at work to do the task I'm doing. Yes.
Yes. yes i remember back in the day um we were um promising a web interface of course and i've talked about this a couple of shows ago the web interface for my um environmental management information system that i developed and one of the sales people they said oh we've got this other, java app and we really need a web interface for that and they're like we can do that of course the sales people don't have any clue what they're doing now i did actually figure out a clever way to wire into the java apis and so on but yes lots of unrealistic deadlines i also remember a one.

[23:31] System that was we were wiring it into an oracle system and the client wanted or needed the oracle system like every time we saved something you you needed if you overwrote any data for legal reasons for environmental data if you overwrote any data it had to do a backup of the old data and a note as to why things had changed and man coming up with that was brutal coming up with that was brutal, so what i did was i read all the queries and i did a make table so that all the queries that were the forms were based on i just did a make table and had a backup database and popped up in the before update event enter in a note and then copy the data and yeah it was quite something so yeah lots of uh unrealistic uh deadlines.

[24:14] So So, the boss who sets unrealistic deadlines.
So, the problem that you're having, and maybe it's the problem that your boss has as well, is you just say to him, you're not the boss of me, or, you know, you buy Bitcoin in 2012.
But the problem you're having is that you think that your boss setting a deadline is the end of the negotiation.
Right you think and maybe your boss thinks this too right, so if the boss says you have two weeks to do it i mean i've had bosses who say that and and i would just say is that your opening bid like i don't think it's going to take two weeks to do it is that your opening bid right because it's kind of tough for you to set the deadlines with the stuff i'm a specialist in you know like if i don't paint houses how am i supposed to say it It should take you an hour to paint this whole house, like if you've not actually done it, right?
You don't know how many coats it takes. You don't know how much wainscoting you've done, baseboards, like all these things, angles and all this kind of stuff, right?
How many light switches do you have to take off and electrical plugs and all that kind of stuff?
I actually did a bit of house painting once for a couple of weeks in one summer. So...

[25:30] I think documentation is important. And the other thing too, is that it's interesting to know whether your boss is under that same pressure.
A failure to negotiate cascades down through an organization.
So if the customer says, I need it done in a month or I'm not going to buy, then the boss says, okay, well, we'll get it done in a month.
And then he tells his underling, get it done in a month. And maybe he tells you, get it done in a month.
So you don't know exactly where the lack of negotiation is occurring but what i would do if i were you is just just document over the next couple of months i mean you don't have to wait months to deal with it but document about you know it's double or triple what what you expect and then figure out what the problem is because there's an assumption that your boss is making.

[26:15] That is not borne out by the actual work, right?
So in software, what's pretty typical is you say, okay, how long is it going to take to write the code?
Maybe you say it's going to take a week to write the code. But writing the code is far from the end of the software, right?
Writing the code, you've got to test it for speed. You've got to test it for security.
You've got to test it for reliability. You've got to test it under a whole bunch of different environments and so on, right?
So it is a big challenge, right? So you've got to also test the user case scenario testing.
What if they enter the wrong values? You're expecting a date and it's not in the date format.
Or how do you handle all the exceptions? So just writing the core code to get the computer to do something is maybe 30% of the project as a whole.
Plus you might need a user interface, particularly if it's on the web.
Plus if it's code that's supposed to run on a variety of platforms, everything from Windows to Android to iOS to whatever, right?
If it's a website or web interface, you've got to test it on a wide variety of browsers and portrait, landscape, small screens, big screens.
So just writing the code, you've got to document and say, look, I can do the code in a week, but it's going to take probably a month to make sure everything's ready for production. So hopefully that helps.

Questioning Trust: Prostitution and Malcolm Gladwell

[27:36] All right. We were talking about prostitution. Oh, this is the guy.
We were talking about prostitution because I brought it up with him after listening to the podcast where the guy kept choking out his wife. He insinuated his mom was a prostitute.
I don't recall that. I don't recall that.
But it's one thing to talk about a theoretical example from some anonymous person on the internet, or maybe not that theoretical.
It's quite another thing to talk about your mom, this guy's mom.
I recently watched a speech by Malcolm Gladwell, actually sat next to Malcolm Gladwell in a restaurant once, where he argued that we should all trust people more even if we get deceived sometimes.
He says that it is better to get deceived occasionally than live being suspicious of everyone. This idea doesn't sit well with me.
But then again, I don't have friends. What would be a good balance of not being too suspicious of strangers while not being naive? That's interesting.
That's interesting.
Ah, let's see here. I know he has a new book out.
I used to like his books quite a bit, but I find them very boring and predictable now, but that's just me.
Okay, so Malcolm Gladwell, let's see here. So he has books.
What's his latest book?

[28:51] Is it talking to strangers or something like that, right?
Well, isn't that interesting? So I click on this, and let's see here.
So the paperback is $16.44.
The Kindle edition is $16.99. I don't know why the Kindle edition is more than the paperback.
The hardcover is $18.50.
Isn't that interesting?
Frankly, that's a little fucking confusing. Malcolm, old Mac, I'm a little confused.

[29:27] Why would you charge people? Because you should trust them to pay for your book, right?
Like, I trust people to pay for my podcast, and if you would like to help out, come on, people, at the end of the year, I'll give you a couple of tips, working like a coolie here.
Why is, we should trust people more. So why is he charging for his books?
Why does he charge for his speeches? Why doesn't he just, like churches do, You come in for free and, yeah, I was just at a church recently.
I went to a church service. They handed out the collection plate.
So why are you charging people? You should trust people to pay you what they find your book to be worth.
So you should hand out your book. And the digital format is pretty cheap, right?
He's got enough money, right? So you should just, why is he not, why is he copywriting? Why doesn't he just trust people?
So I always find it when somebody has a copyrighted book that they're charging for saying, You should just trust people more. It's like, you lead the way, Malcolm.
You show me. You show me the way.
And all of that. So I don't trust anyone.
I am in a state of neutral, right? I don't mistrust people. I don't trust people.
Because they're unknown.
They're unknown, right? I don't know.

[30:42] I mean, I look for markers, right? You think about walking home at night, right? You're walking home at night, you hear footsteps behind you, right?
If it's some guy in a three-piece suit carrying a computer magazine, you're probably okay.
If it's a bunch of, you know, hoodlums in thuggy wear, then you might be in a little bit of trouble, right? So you just look and you kind of gauge people.
But I don't trust or mistrust. And telling people, oh, we should trust more even if we get deceived sometimes, I don't know. I don't know.

[31:15] I mean, this is an old argument, and it's not even his argument, which is, you know, you say, well, occasionally you're going to lend money to someone and they're not going to pay you back, and that's just the price you pay for being optimistic in this life, and this, that, and the other, right?
So, I don't like the should.
In fact, I'll go one step further.
I really hate the should. Well, you should trust people more. Why?
Why? Why? Why should I not have any? Why should I substitute Malcolm Gladwell's anonymous opinions for my own instincts about how to live?
You should trust Lyons more. Why? You should trust people. Why? Why?

[32:00] And, of course, then he should be advocating for the end of the welfare.
I think he's kind of on the left. I'm not sure.
So then he should be advocating for the end of the welfare state, right?
And for the cessation of taxation, because we should trust people more.
We should trust people to help take care of the poor. We should trust people to be charitable, to donate.
We should make sure that there isn't any Medicare or Medicaid.
We should make sure that there's no old age pensions, because we should just trust people.
I'm always concerned when people say trust more that they're feeding you to the wolves. They're feeding you to the lion. Trust more. You've got to trust more. Why?
Anybody who says trust more is usually involved in some kind of scam.
I'm not talking about Malcolm Gladwell in particular. I don't know the guy, but it just seems like the logic of him saying trust more means we should have a more and more voluntary society.
But I don't know if he's a big fan of Javier Millier in Argentina at the moment.
I would imagine not, because he seems to be kind of on the left.
It's too suspicious of strangers while not being naive. You know, we live in a low-trust society now. Unfortunately, we grew up in a high-trust society.
It's funny. When I was a kid, I couldn't trust anyone in my household, but I could trust the society as a whole.
Now, I can't trust society as a whole, but I completely trust everyone in my household and my inner circle. So it's kind of funny that way.
All right. Let's see here. Yeah.

[33:27] What do we got, a pinhole battery pinhole power battery reset button well the funny thing is is it did turned out to finally do its reboot uh but it's just hello nina welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome all right.

[33:54] All right. Yeah. Why does an uptake take three minutes for 99% and three minutes for the last 1%?
I don't know. I don't know. Oh, look at that. Indiana Jones with a hard drive.
There you go. Thank you. I appreciate that.
I had to get third-party paid software to avoid using iTunes.
Yeah, I tried that, but it won't get audio file.
Is there a trick for saying no to more work because of your current workload? Yeah.
You're just honest, right? So if somebody would hand me something and say i need this done i'd say um i will absolutely get to it when i'm done my current thing right so i've got a job for my boss and someone comes along and says someone else comes along and says i need this i'd be like well um if you want to talk to my boss you know or you can you come come and join me in my boss's office and we'll figure out what my priorities are obviously i can only do one thing at a time so if if your boss if my boss says do your thing rather than what my boss said, I'll do it, right?
But right now I'm doing what my boss says.
And so if you want to change that priority, it has to come from my boss, right?
So you offer to go in and sit down with the boss and say, you know, this guy, I mean, the typical thing is a client wants you to do something and then the salesman says, I need you to review this technical proposal.
I'll be like, eh, I will absolutely get to it.
There's something else which you have to do in business. Ooh, this is a lot of power.
This is a lot of power.

[35:18] This is a lot of power. Yeah, I thought Malcolm Gladwell's book Blink was pretty good.
As I said, I used to like him. I just found him to be, he's not adapting to the new world, right?
He's just not adapting to the new world.
Hit me with a why if you want too much power at work.
This would be too powerful.

[35:46] Hey, be with the Y. Tell me. Tell me.
Is it too much? Yes, it probably is too much. One of the most powerful statements I ever heard in the business was this.
In the business world, and it occurs in a wide variety of things as well.
One of the things that I remember reading in the business world that I found very powerful was this.
A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part, does this make sense a failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part do you ever have this where somebody comes to you for work and says oh I need this this afternoon right, I need this this afternoon, I need you to write And right, you've had that, right?
Somebody just comes in and spinning around Mark three with their hair on fire, right?
And they say, I need you to do this. This needs to go out right away, right?

[37:00] So what do you say?
What do you say? How do you deal with it?
You say, uh, a quick question. When did you find out? When did you know about this delivery date? When did you know it was due this afternoon?

[37:21] When did you find, when did you, like, I'm a little confused.
When did you, when did you know that this was due? Today.

Exposing last-minute requests and creating discomfort for accountability

[37:30] Right? And people will always try and come in laterally, right?
So, again, my boss would tell me to do something, a salesman would come in and say, I need you to review this technical proposal, and I'd be like, okay, when did you get this, right?
And then if my, somebody wanted me to do something laterally, right, comes down from the boss, somebody wants you to do something laterally you go in and you say um you call your boss and you say hey i just need your permission the sales guy wants me to review a technical proposal that means that what i'm going to do for you is going to be delayed um just you know tell me you're the boss right tell me what you want to do because then what you're doing is you're exposing the guy, who left it too late and is now panicked right and of course a lot of times people will leave leave things too late in order to get their way, right?
It's an emergency. It has to go out today. Otherwise, we're not going to get the bid and we're going to lose a million dollars. It's got to be done. There's a panic, right?
And so people will purposefully leave things too late so that they can get the resources, right?

[38:34] So, yeah, you say, hey, like, when did you, sorry, I don't have any, I mean, you check, I'm going to check my email, but I don't remember getting any notice that this was due today, right?
Oh, I just got it from the client. I'm like, well, no. Okay, well, let's call up the client, right?
Right, so you say, okay, gosh. Okay, well, let's call up the client because if the client just sent it today, then the client expecting it turned around today is kind of optimistic.
So let's just call the client and tell them that, right?

[39:02] Now, of course, in general, the salespeople are lying catfish of doom, right?
So the client sent it to them a week ago, but they're just giving it to you today.
So they don't want you to call the client, right? And I say, wait, why don't you want me to call? You just told me the client sent it to you today.
So I got to call the client. Oh, no, I don't want to bother the client.
Okay. I said, well, can you forward me the original email? So I can just, you know, get a sense of the email chain and what it is, right?
And like, in case there's any other details. Now, of course, the salesperson doesn't want to forward you the original email because because he got the original email a week ago, right?
So you just make it uncomfortable for people. And you can do it in a very sort of positive and pleasant way with no suspicious aura.
It's like, no, I just, you know.
And if they do forward you the email, say, dude, you got this a week ago.

[39:49] You got this a week ago. Why aren't you, like, you told me you just got it today. You got it a week ago.
I'm confused. Like, you know, maybe you misstated or maybe you misspoke.
You never have to be aggressive, right? But you have to train people into treating you well in the business world.
Because if you're just like, oh, I'll get it done, they'll just keep doing it.
So you have to train people to treat you well by making them uncomfortable for treating you badly.
Tell me if this, I don't know if this is too abstract, but I want to give you guys some really practical tips based upon some really, really difficult life experience.
On on my part and if you have the right approach and the right approach isn't like you lying scumbag i bet you got this a week ago because that's just going to escalate and then you're going to be accused of verbal abuse and it's going to look bad on you right nothing to do with that nothing to do with that what it is to do with is no i just you know i just want to get the facts right let's let's call the client let's go into my boss let's get this sorted out and then you'll you'll find very quickly that they don't want to do that and they get very uncomfortable.
And then, again, because you're friendly and positive and you're just trying to gather all the necessary information.

[41:09] Then people will start treating you better because you won't take any lies, but you'll do it in a very positive way that they can't get too mad about, if that makes sense.
I worked with a big time contractor on a historical public project on the waterfront he was not the most trustworthy guy his favorite saying was chaos is cash the government paid him lots of money on change orders yes, somebody says yes I think the project managers of my work are hired because they delay jobs until the last minute right.

[41:49] And the other thing too is that if you have a good way of explaining things, your life becomes so much easier.
Everybody wants professional skills, but the biggest professional skill that I ever had was good explanatory power.
Good explanatory power. So some software thing would come along, we'd build the software, customize the software, and then towards the end they'd want to change, right?
And I'd say, and I'd say this at the very beginning of the project, I'd say, listen, we're going to spend a lot of time in planning, and it's going to drive everyone nuts, right? We're going to spend a lot of time planning everything.
There's binders of changes, and there's a lot of time planning stuff, and it's going to drive you nuts.
And you'll be, you're just like, can we just get started? But I tell you, I said, look, I've been doing this for a long time now, I'll tell you.

[42:33] It's 90% more efficient to fix it in the specifications or to determine it in the specifications than to fix it after it's been coded, right?
So it's way cheaper.
It's way cheaper like if you want and I say look if you want a car with a sunroof it's way cheaper to buy a car with a sunroof than to take delivery of a car without a sunroof and then want a sunroof put in right you understand that's way cheaper right, if you want a house with a skylight you get the house built from ground up with a skylight you don't just finish the house and then, go up with a saw and a cherry bomb and put a skylight in right, so if you have a good way of explaining things your life gets a whole lot easier here at work and people who are good communicators like i didn't just stroll into philosophy with no history of explaining complex technical things to a lay audience right and and i know you are an audience who gets laid and i think that's what it means except except if malcolm gladwell is listening in which case please bro get a haircut but because i spent i don't know gosh let's see.

[43:41] Probably close to a decade and a half explaining complex technical issues to business people, right so so the fact that i'm doing complex philosophy to non quote philosophers i mean you guys are philosophers in your life but not in your training for the most part the fact that i'm able to boil things down i didn't just stroll in here off the farm and oh look at all my magnificent metaphorical abilities and blah blah blah i did all of this in the business world for many many many, many years before I started applying it to philosophy, right?

[44:15] So if the customer says, I need a change, be like, oh, yes, you know, we can absolutely accommodate that.
As I said at the beginning of the project, unfortunately, it's going to be kind of pricey and it's going to delay the project, right? And you need to do that.
Because if everyone says, oh, no problem, no extra charge, then people will just keep throwing changes in, right? Of course, right? Right.
I mean, whereas nobody knows if the change is important if it's free.
Right. You understand that?

[44:46] Nobody knows if the change is important if it's free.
So if the customer wants a change and you're like, hey, no problem, no cost, whatever, right? Then the salespeople's happy because, you know, the customer likes them in the moment.
But if you say, oh, this change is going to be $25,000, then the customer's like, ooh, $25,000.
Is that really the best use of my resources and your time and so on?
Right, so the moment you give stuff away for free, I know this is a guy who gives away his books for free, but that's all right that's all right this is a slightly different uh business model so, if you just work on communication and translating things into analogies that people understand right i can't even tell you the number of times i'd say well you know if you if you order a car and you say i just want the cheap stereo and then the car sitting on the showroom floor and you say you know what take out the cheap stereo and put the expensive stereo in you understand that's twice the price of just getting the expensive stereo to begin with right because they got to take out the old stereo there may be different parts they've got to figure out what to do with the old stereo they've got to order a new stereo they've got to get someone to install it wire it up and test it whereas if they had just put the expensive stereo in to begin with it would be way cheaper, so if you want things changed later on it's way tough.

The Value of Time and Giving Things Away for Free

[46:10] You say i have a hard time with that i always give free value i think i'm shooting myself in the legs, you know it's hard to respect the value of your time for it's hard for other people to respect the value of your time if you give it all away for free give it away give it away give it away now right if you give it all away for free who's going to respect your time you know it's uh if If you're the village slut, is it really much of work to sleep with you? Is it really, right?
It's like getting a steak well done and saying, can you make this medium rare?
Not quite. Not quite.
Because you can't undo that, right? So that would be an irreversible thing, right?
That would be like if somebody says, I need this in C Sharp, and then at the end of it, they say, no, actually, I need it in JavaScript or something like that, right?
It's like, that's sort of an undoable thing. So, you can make the change, but you can make the change, but it's tough, right?
What do people do? They buy cars, they buy houses and so on, right?
So, you've got to put things in analysis.
Because a stake well done and saying, can you make this medium rare, is saying it can't be done. And, you know, things can be done, usually, for a price.

[47:33] But it's kind of like if when you are opening your exercise routine, you're opening your exercise routine, your trainer will often say, do you want size and strength or do you want weight loss or like what is it that you're looking for to achieve with your fitness goals, right?
Do you want to get big and bulky? Do you want to be more limber?
Do you want to have leaner muscles? Do you want to have a six-pack?
Do you want to have endurance? Do you want to have weight loss?
Like what is it that you're looking for?
Now, if you say, I want to bulk up to the max, I want to be like Mr.
Universe size, you know, Steph size, just tell him Steph size, you know, turn sideways to get through a double door. I want to be that big.
And then the guy trains you like on that. And you say, you know what?
Actually, I just want, I want cardio and endurance.
I want to be a runner. Like then he's, the Russell Sonic's actually helping you, right? Right. So it's a slow motion man, boob bounce.
It doesn't really help. So yeah, just define what you want.
Or you know if you you want a mode of transportation and you go out and buy a boat then you say get it home you say you know what i think i want a car i mean can you theoretically turn a boat into a car i guess you kind of could but what a mess right just get a car to begin with right so.

[48:44] Uh yeah so really work on your communication everybody's like well i don't want to get to do the value add right what can i do to value add well if your communication helps a project come in at half the price like you got a hundred thousand dollar project because you're really good at communicating, you prevent it from becoming a $200,000 project, then you've just made $100,000 in a sense.
If the project's okay at $100,000, and instead of the bloatware putting it to $200,000, you've kept it at $100,000, you've just saved $100,000, right?

[49:16] I took your advice of not being afraid to yell in a business meeting.
Did I say yell? Maybe, maybe I did.
It's always It was hard to remember what I said, but certainly emphatic, pretty emphatic is important in a business world.

[49:33] And of course, you know this when you're buying a car, right?
When you're buying a car, like I remember when I bought my very first car for, I had to, I got a subsidy on it from the business back in my business career.
And it was a 98 Volvo S70. Oh, I love that car.
Man, that was a cool looking car. It looked almost exactly like one of my matchbox cars when I was a kid. I just saw that car.
I was like, boom, love it. But actually, I like the Audi.
It had the Tiptronic, which was like the half manual, half automatic, which I thought was kind of cool.
But it was like six months to get one, and I needed a car right away.
So you know how it goes. If they give you every extra for free, you'll just check off every extra, right?
But if it's like, oh, this extra is $500, and this extra is $1,000.
Dollars like it's funny because i didn't want to get a cd player because it was an extra six hundred dollars to get a cd player in the car so i got a tape deck which actually turned out to be perfect because that way i could hook up an mp3 player to the tape deck with one of those i don't even know how it worked but it just worked out really nicely so it was a lovely car man and i drove that thing until it was adams i drove that thing until it was like a flintstone car where you could pedal it by running your feet on the holes in the ground. It was just a great car.
It didn't last super long, though, honestly. But yeah, so you just check boxes.
If you're giving everything away for free, everyone's going to check everything, whether they need it or not, right?

[50:59] I mean, if I had a dollar for everyone who said, you shouldn't just give stuff away because some people don't value it. It's like, well, I picked a different. All right.
Now, speaking of value, not value, if you'd like to help out, freedomain.com slash donate, or you can tip right here on the app.
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Good. Don't forget to hit the like. Thank you, Onivar.
Don't forget to hit the like. Thanks for joining.
Thanks for joining. Feel free. Feel free to donate.
All right. Yeah, freedomain.com slash donate, or you can donate right here in the app.
So, all right, let's get to your questions, comments.

[51:57] Clients need to believe you care about their goals about their concerns lots of people think right or wrong is black and white when you save a client in crisis or save them big money or their reputation they will trust you more and you will earn, it's about communicating and listening slash understanding well and also sometimes giving stuff away for free is the best business decision you can make I mean I had a that was that Volvo S70 when I was drove it it gave a kind of funny wobble, and I was like just wobbled a little bit, So I took it into a car dealership and they're like, oh, it was just, there was some rim loose and they just, oh, we just tightened it.
And I'm like, oh, what do I owe you? Ah, it's nothing. Right.
So I went back to them forever.
You can deliver my baby because they didn't charge me for that thing. Right. So.

[52:44] Planning ahead applies to picking a spouse too better to marry who you want rather than someone you don't want and try to change him or her it's expensive to alter course down the road yes it is, yes it is yes it is all right let me get your i may ask you a question let me ask you guys a question king leo thank you for dropping by i'm glad that you also get to catch a live stream God Jewel oh I guess that's good morning God Jewel from Sweden, shouldn't that be Arabic Philip thank you nice to have you come by here alright Steph, any advice for tirelessness at night I tend to pace around reading the Bible at night I want to write a book, searching for therapists but so far none around me taking new clients I don't know what other minimal info to provide I've reached my mid 30s recently have been slandered by an ex blah blah blah alright tirelessness at night, really enjoying the stream so far thanks everyone one. And Steph, I appreciate that. Thank you.

[53:44] I keep thinking that's Beth, but it's Lee. All right. Hit me with a Y if you suffer.
Oh, God, Jewel means Merry Christmas, Good Christmas. Oh, thank you. Appreciate that.
Hit me with a Y if you suffer from the greatest curse of modernity.
Do you know what the greatest curse of modernity is?
Dragging your exhausted, skinny, pale ass around all day.
Oh, you have to have those days where it's like, you wake up and it's like, Like, oh, God, how long is it till I can get to bed again?
Just, please, God.
Is it, I can probably do 16 hours, maybe I can do 15 hours, just how long is it? Until I get to bed again.
You just drag your ass around all day, and then you get to bedtime, and it's like, bing! Bing!
Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

Gaining Trust with a Pharma Company and Daily Routine

[54:45] We did some marketing work for a pharma company they didn't do some work we gave them back 125k they were so surprised eventually they gave us more work but they never but they had never seen a marketing agency do that it helped them trust us going forward yeah imagine the mechanic delivering a baby a picture yes a baby with nine fingers i'm sure but yeah you have to i have that occasionally my sleep is pretty good for the most part my sleep is pretty good but i tell you this man i um what did i do today i went for a nice long walk while doing the call-in show and then i went skating with my daughter for an hour and when i skate man i'm not just drifting around i'm like stopping and turning doing right turn over turner.

[55:33] And um, then i came back i had some food my daughter made a really nice winter soup ah so good so good, And I just sat down with my wife and I was chatting for a little bit and I'm like, oh, you know what? I think, you know, give me 15 minutes. I'm passing out.
And 15 minutes I can do. If I do more than that, I don't sleep at night.
But I, yeah, that's tired during the day.
But man, I have to.
Right. So there's a couple of things that I think to do with tirelessness.
So first of all, if your fight or flight is kicking, it's tough to sleep. Right.
You ever have this situation where you're... Actually, I had this this morning.
I had this situation this morning.
The situation this morning was...
Thank you, C. I appreciate that. Thank you, C.
I appreciate your donation through freedomain.com. I had this this morning.
So, this morning...

[56:37] Uh i i woke up and i was just you know i was like i could do another half hour of sleep but i really like that time we're just kind of sitting there cozy i've got a heavy elephant ass blanket on me and it's kind of warm and cozy and i i hear this i hear this and it's like of course i sleep on the the uh upstairs and i'm like what the hell what what the hell is that and of course you know it's not somebody who's climbed a ladder and is knocking on my window or anything like groupies what can i tell you man groupies this nips for you but i remembered some years ago that a woodpecker had found her house and was packing away and i was like yeah so like but you ever have the situation where you're like, I remember once I lived in a place that was new, just built, and it was settling.
Settling means it will haunt your dreams.

[57:39] Just things just slowly settling in and all of that. So that wasn't super relaxing.
I still remember two o'clock in the morning in my underpants going down with a baseball bat like I was going to do something and checking out the the house, top to bottom, back to front, make sure, we don't have any you know, Cossacks is the big problem, particularly in Canada.
Cossacks, Vikings, and Nazgul. That's the big things you've got to look out for.
And anything named Trudeau, I think. So I had all of that. So if you have that, you can't do much about getting asleep if you're fight and flight.
It did contain squash. Yes, winter soup did contain squash. So good. So.

[58:24] You can't relax if your fight or flight is kicking in, so try and find some way to deal with your fight or flight.
Also, for me, one of the reasons I exercise as well is it just helps me to sleep at night.
Because, I mean, for obvious reasons, right? I write about this in my novel, The Present.

[58:50] That if you work your body you rest better right i think was this a scott adams thing where he said don't think i have insomnia i think i haven't exercised enough and i think i think there's real truth in that so yeah tirelessness at night right?
Mid-thirties, so if you're not feeling like mid-thirties is kind of the beginning of the crisis, right?
Of the crisis of meaning, right? So when you're young, and by that I'm talking maybe into early thirties, right?
So as a kid, you just kind of go with the flow for the most part.
Some people don't, but most people do just kind of go with the flow, do your homework, do your exams or whatever it is, right?
Then maybe at college or whatever, right? And then and you start your job, and you're just kind of reacting and so on.
In your early 30s, if you don't have a life of meaning, you won't really have much of a life of sleeping.
Sleep is not the rest we get when we're tired, because we've all been in that situation where we're tired, but we can't sleep.
So sleep is not...

[1:00:06] The rest we get when we're tired. Sleep is the rest we get from meaning and virtue.
If we've done something meaningful, something virtuous over the course of the day, it could be any number of things.
It could be being positive to someone online. It could be helping somebody out.
It could be doing a good deed, doing something to spread sort of virtue and having a life that is more than just Pac-Man-like work and consumption.
Assumption, but sleep is the reward of virtue and meaning.
And so if you've left it too long to define your life, which is a big risk, right? It's a big risk.
If you've left it too long to define your life, then you will start to get uneasy.
And I left it too long to define my life. I left it too long to define my life.
I think I've been making up for it ever since, but man, Man, it was pretty rough there in my late 20s, early 30s, because I was still just reacting to things rather than making decisions on my own.
And if you do that for too long, you can't rest because, like, you know how they always say the ghost can't rest, right?
It's the ghost, the immaterial can't rest, the ghost can't rest.

[1:01:20] So if you're living a life without strong will and purpose and meaning and virtue, then you are kind of living like a ghost.
And it's really, really tough to rest. The fight or flight is the predator that's chasing you is a lack of meaning and a lack of virtue. And that's pretty rough.
That's pretty rough. All right.
Manuel, always a pleasure to hear from you. Happy New Year, of course, to everyone.
Let me ask you a tough question. I'm cleaning out my bachelor apartment, top to bottom. Why? Why? I'm not happy.
Despite as sure as hell I'm happy, nobody is happy. Why am I doing this?
Well, of course, everybody knows. I mean, you're doing this because.

[1:02:05] You want to attract a mate. I assume, right? I don't know if you have a mate or not.
I assume you don't have a mate in that your decision to clean seems to be your own.
Your decision to clean is not particularly your own if you have a mate.
Thank you, Lee. I appreciate it.
But I assume that you are cleaning your house so that a woman will come over and won't go like, oh, what the hell?
I assume it's not going to be something like that, like, whoa, what the hell? What's going on here? This is a mess.
Because when a woman comes over to your place, she probably is thinking like, okay, what's it going to be like to live with this guy for the next 60 years, right?
And if it's kind of like a pigsty, well, she ain't going to be that happy about it, right? So I got a couple of topics.
I'm certainly happy like I'm here for you, and I want to provide as much value for you as humanly possible. Let me ask you what may seem like a tangent, but taint, taint, taint, no tangent, taint, no tangent, boyo.
Have you ever seen the, I guess, fairly significantly radical speech that got Steph Bart half-banned in Australia?
Have you ever, um, have you ever seen that speech?

[1:03:27] Um, just out of curiosity, let me just see here. you uh the reason i'm asking is uh well i can give it to you so i did this epic speech in australia that you know ended up with you know bomb threats death threats stalking all kinds of crazy stuff right and um you know it didn't really seem that big a deal right but uh anyway i've um i i found it.
I found it. I was looking for some other stuff on a backup drive and I came across it. So, it was very, very interesting.

[1:04:16] So yeah, I will get that posted soon. But it was quite a quite an exciting speech.

Excitement over the movie "Migration"

[1:04:25] All right let's see here, uh have you seen the movie migration have you seen the movie migration uh it's a kid's movie, uh but you know you don't have to be a kid obviously to see it uh migration it's uh i think it's by the guys who did despicable me and so on and.

[1:04:51] You haven't you haven't seen it.

[1:04:57] You've never heard of it? Okay.
Well, I mean, you're probably not going to see it. A couple of spoilers here, so you can fast forward a bit if you want, or mute for a couple of minutes.
So I wanted to go and see it because it's duck-based, right?
And because it was duck-based, I kind of went to...
I wanted to see it. My daughter wanted to see it.
She wasn't hugely keen on it because she's, I mean, a bit old for kids' movies, but it's duck-based, so we decided to go. So in it, there's, oh, gosh, I just, how is it that people fall into these train tracks?
Like, okay, let me ask you this. When was the last time a movie, a movie really surprised you?

[1:05:46] Right? When was the last time when a movie just like, wow, did not see that coming, or wow, that gave me goosebumps of originality?
Or it could be a book like where it just was like it didn't make it was not completely unprecedented but it just like wow that's really original that's really different i can't think of one maybe some movies in the 90s uh fight club was kind of jaw-dropping a few months ago so what is there out there the chosen uh yeah the chosen was pretty good it was pretty good it korean movies yeah the guy from parasite just died right it's been years right.

[1:06:32] Yeah yeah i mean i even started watching the whale because i was a bit of a brendan frazier fan when he was younger but it's just like no this is too much of a humiliation ritual i can't i can't do it i just can't do it first time you saw the matrix yeah i think that's fair i think that's fair a movie with napoleon was pretty horrible right six cents yeah that was a definitely surprising.
I also remember the original Ghostbusters was surprising to me when the big marshmallow guy showed up.
Gone girl surprised you, emily rajasky was in there and uh eowyn if i remember rightly in a decidedly non, eowyn role bow is afraid i think you mentioned this before didn't you you mentioned this last time uh the usual suspects um i didn't find that movie particularly interesting although i know there was a big twist at the end leave the world behind was surprised but it's rare isn't it rare and especially maybe sort of the case with kids movies but anyway so we went to go and see Migration and.

Analysis of the movie "Migration" and its themes

[1:07:45] So in it there is a dad and the dad is it opens well it opens well and this gave me some hope right it opened well because it opens with a story being told to kids. And.

[1:08:08] The dad is telling the story about the kids who leave the pond, the little ducklings who leave the pond, and they get preyed upon by herons and eagles and raccoons or whatever.
Yeah, all these monsters coming. But the mom is intervening like, no, no, everybody turned out to be friends and they were saved.
And so the dad is trying to warn the ducklings who are kind of near the bottom of the food chain, right?
So the dad is trying to warn the ducklings about going out into the dangerous world full of predators, and there's a reason why ducks have like 12 ducklings, but the duck population remains relatively constant.
It's because like 10 of those 12 ducklings don't make it, right?
So that's a pretty big failure rate, right?
It's like an 85% failure rate or something like that, right?
So the dad is trying to tell his kids how dangerous the world is out there.
And the mom's like, no, no, no, you're frightening the children.
He's like, hello, that's the point.
Of course I want to frighten the children, right? You don't sit there and say, well, the car is just going to give you a hug on the highway.

[1:09:14] So I thought, gosh, you know, this is interesting. And my daughter and I have talked about this before.
And of course, one of the things that happens and what's happened in modern society, is women have completely lost their sense of danger.
Shouldn't laugh because it's really bad.
But women have completely lost their sense of danger as a whole.
As a whole. And you can see this sort of showing up all over the place.
But yeah, women have come out. We can do it.
And one of the reasons that women have...

[1:09:48] One of the reasons why women have lost their sense of danger is, that's one of the effects of the birth control pill, is it kind of disarms your sense of caution and of danger.
So anyway, I thought it was kind of interesting. It started off kind of well, and I liked it as a whole.

[1:10:12] Now, then it got ridiculously predictable, right?
So the ridiculous predictability is that the mother wants to go on an adventure, and she's wise, and the dad wants to stay home because it's safe, and it turns out the mom's totally right.
They have all these great adventures, and the herons that normally will eat ducklings like corn pups turn out to be kind of friendly and goofy and fun and happy, and the predators are actually friends, and it's just like, oh, my God.
Oh it's crazy yeah how much personal stuff people put on the web yeah yeah for sure, i think people are still uploading pictures with the gps coordinates right yeah it's like nemo right so the dad's kind of cautious and uh and and you see it's these kinds of movies are programming.

[1:11:06] Society to put aside male caution do you follow i mean this i won't get into the whole plot of the movie but you see this all the time that the men are cautious and they're wrong the men are cautious and it's just paranoid and you've got to go out and live a little you've got to have some adventures you can't just stay home hiding the whole time right so legitimate male caution, is irrational paranoia you see how this is working so any any dangers that are facing society then get dismissed as especially because it's the men who are sounding the alarm it's like oh you're You're just like Finding Nemo's dad, or you're just like the dad in this movie, or you're just like all the dads that you see, right?

[1:11:48] Yeah, the bad guys move for you and is he reviewed? Yeah. All caution is paranoia, right?
And that just means people can be dangerous to you and you will dismiss your own instincts, right?
People can be dangerous and you will just dismiss your own instincts, right?
So, yeah, it's crazy.

The Terrifying Reality of Disney Movies

[1:12:22] Crazy crazy, i mean but perfectly natural like you want to disarm yeah he's literally a step from being eaten by sharks but he's the paranoid one right well it's funny because of course you know these clownfish live in these anemones because the world is so dangerous right, pinocchio all the disney movies warned you pinocchio was an absolutely terrifying movie when i was a kid like it terrified me it absolutely terrified me That absolutely terrified me. It was just a, oh my God, it was terrifying.
The donkey kids and, oh man, just awful.
There's a lot in Pinocchio about trafficking. It's really, really creepy. Really creepy.

[1:13:07] Yeah, I think the older movies warned you about dangers, legitimate dangers.
But the, and you think, I think of things like Arms of the Man by George Bernard Shaw, old GBS.
And it was about, yeah, don't be too enthusiastic about war.
You've got to be cautious. You've got to be careful. You've got to be cynical.
And that's how you'll survive. But now, yeah, it's, I mean, all these things at the bottom of the food chain.
Oh, go out and be confident. And it's like, you know, that's the predators telling you that, right?
Like this migration, the movie had to be made by predators to lure.
Or, oh, you don't want to be stuck in the safe pond where you've got protection and you can hide and you know everything and there's no predators.
You don't want to be there. You want to come out into the world.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Yeah, the children get sent to Pleasure Island in Pinocchio.
Yeah, like an Epstein Island thing, right? Oh, it's terrible.
It's absolutely terrible. Absolutely terrible.
So the scene in Dumbo where he gets drunk was scary too.
I don't remember Dumbo too well. Well, I think I saw it in boarding school, but I don't remember it very well.
Yeah, it's...
Predators make these kinds of movies to lure the prey out from where it's safe, right?

[1:14:30] If you think of the number of fairy tales where the kids disobey and go beyond the boundaries and end up in really bad situations, right?

[1:14:42] Well, because you see this all the time where it's like, well, this person appears scary, but they're not really, right?
I mean, so in a scene in Migration, herons eat ducklings and they will even eat ducks.
Like they're, you know, beasts of prey. Herons are big ass beasts of prey, right?
And so they end up being being cornered in this i guess it's an old boathouse where the ducks live right and it cornered where the sorry where the herons live and the heron is literally like well you all need to sleep in this fry pan that's buttered and oiled and ready to go on the right so they're literally putting them in cookware and they're like well we don't want to be offended we don't want to be offensive we don't want to upset them and all this kind of stuff and it turns out that i mean really the whole movie is they actually do i'm sure they do get eaten and the The rest of it's just an afterlife or a dying fantasy trip.
But yeah, they're always told that what seems dangerous is actually safe.
The lion just wants to cuddle and give you free food, right?
Because literally the heron who's a predator gives them free food. It's so backwards.
And then there's this other place where it's like a paradise, ice, but it turns out the ducks are just being fattened up.
All right, let's see here.

Job Application Follow-up Dilemma

[1:16:12] Maybe a dumb question, but I had taken the initiative to call a business to follow up on my application. I submitted online.
After a short phone interview, the manager informed me I was on the shortlist and he was trying to narrow down 31 applicants to five or six.
Would it be too old-fashioned to show up in person as an additional follow-up, or should I just get prepared for the interview stage?
Any other advice? I really need this job." Yeah, that's a tough one.
That's a tough one, because you don't want to appear intrusive or invasive, but at the same time, you definitely want to communicate to them how enthusiastic it is, right?
So, that's a tough one.
I'm a big one for just be honest about your enthusiasm, right?
Be honest about your enthusiasm. So, if the guy says, we'll call you in for another interview and then you show up in person, you're kind of not following instructions and that may be a red flag for them.
But, at the same time I would certainly say, leave a message with you know give it a couple of days leave a message with the boss and just say I know that you're narrowing it down I just really wanted to let you know how incredibly enthusiastic I am for this job.

[1:17:34] And i'm really really hoping that you'll bring me in for another interview right i'm i'm really keen on this job i think i'm going to be a perfect fit i know i'm going to do great things for the company and make you look good too by the way but i just really wanted to let you know i i hope we're getting to the next stage and i'm really really keen for the job i just think something like that is fine right that's showing something that's uh enthusiastic this is why i prefer children play play with realistic-looking animal toys instead of the cutesy ones.
Yeah, I mean, the whole cutesy animal stuff is just about disconnecting children from their instincts of danger.
All people who want to prey on children are going to give them cuddly lions to diffuse and get rid of their sense of danger.

[1:18:25] Leftists argue against implicit bias, but they're referring to intuition and change the name. their anti-intuition yeah i mean the leftism stuff is is very boring that way right because, they talk about uh fear of the other and they want diversity but like in in certain like in in many university departments particularly in the social sciences you can't find one non-leftist like it's not one so they don't actually have any interest in diversity of thought or perspective they have a desperate fear of the other and so on and so all of this stuff oh we value diversity and it's like well no you don't because then you'd be actively doing outreach to non-leftist to conservatives or people on the right as you would say to try and get all of this stuff and it's like yeah.

Leftist Paranoia and Fear of the Other

[1:19:20] Yeah, they're very paranoid about the other, and they're easily scared by the wrong things, and they don't seem to be at all scared by the right things.
It's like the woman who opened the gym doors up to the crazy homeless guy and got beat up.
Well, she survived, fortunately, although it definitely could have gone the other way. I assume that she was trying to rape her, right? Yeah, I saw that video.

[1:19:46] It's like a video i still occasionally think of this video where there was this woman on a subway platform and i think a couple of immigrants started fighting violently and the woman was struggling to pull down her dress right to to cover up more and more of her skin because, she began to sort of realize uh the dangers that she was in and so she wanted to immediately stop any of the sexual signaling that was uh that was going on so that's rough, uh steph what are your thoughts about getting on info wars to spread the measures of philosophy to a wider audience uh i've was on info wars a bunch of times uh had a bunch of interviews with alex jones and um but i'm not really it's a political show really fundamentally it's a political show and i'm not doing politics so i don't think there'd be much of an overlap there, anymore but i certainly do appreciate the question if you want you can go to, fdrpodcasts.com, fdrpodcasts.com, and you can do a search for all of the stuff that I've done.
So you can search for InfoWars, Alex Jones, whatever it is, and see the interviews that I've done.
I wouldn't say I was a regular, but I was on a bunch of times, and I always had a positive experience with it.

[1:21:06] Yeah, it's a funny thing when you're more afraid of upsetting people than literally protecting your own life.
That's a crazy thing.
Well, it's like, I mean, one of the, I think one of the, was it a ticket agent or TSA guy who was afraid of profiling on 9-11 and let one of the hijackers through?
And I mean, the guilt that he's had to live with, well, you know, I don't want to profile and all that kind of stuff, right?
All right.
Yeah, the swatting thing that's going on is quite something, right?

Lack of access to healthcare leads to neglect of health

[1:21:55] Yeah it's like people who don't particularly take care of their health because they think that they just can get free or subsidized health care when they need it and it's like don't really think that you i don't really think that you can so um generally what happens is people don't take as much care of their health and then they think oh i'm sick so i'll you know here in canada it's like oh i'll just go to a doctor it's like i just saw this video of this woman i think she moved up in in the states she was on a waiting list for a gp for six months and gps at the portal to get everywhere like she couldn't even get a gynecologist without a gp and then so she tried to get to a walk-in clinic and uh they say don't just call you call ahead don't just walk in and she calls they open at 8 30 8 29 8 30 she calls right away oh we're full for the day and so people don't take i'm not saying this woman didn't take care of her health but people in general don't think as much about their health like if you knew for whatever reason it was really tough to get a hold of health care you take better care of your health right uh yet people think well if i get sick i'll just go to the doctor i'll get some pills i'll get an operation it'll get better and so on it's like yeah but it's really tough it's really tough.

Struggling with Adverse Thoughts and Seeking Help

[1:23:12] You struggle with adverse thoughts if you want to tell us more about that maybe we can do something something to help.
I just want to make sure I get people's comments, because I certainly do have another topic.
Of which to speaketh. Of whicheth to speaketh.
All right, topic me, babies.
Or, you know, the people who just trust doctors and don't do any of their own, you know, whatever, right?
Preventive care and so on, right? Well, the doctor can fix it. I'm like, eh, can they?
I'm not entirely sure they can. I'm not entirely positive they can.

[1:24:14] I can have bad people around me and I'll just go take some psychotropics alright, so while I'm waiting my father had has had organs replaced oh yeah, So the woman I talked to this afternoon, I wanted to, anything you're most excited for in 2024 seems like a big year with Bitcoin ETF, interest rate cuts, halving, CDBC, election year.
Okay, elections, sure.

[1:25:00] No, I'm sorry to be old fuddy-duddy guy, but I'm at the age where just more of the same is great. Do you do cold showers? was.

[1:25:07] F no. I find that stuff like horrible. I mean, every now and then, like everyone with a house, my boiler has gone out and I've had to bathe in the cold and it's just absolutely horrible.
Yeah. I just, uh, I don't want to, uh, uh, I don't want to, I don't want to do that. I just, I find that stuff just completely horrible.
Uh, you know, I worked up North in minus 50 degree weather. I'm done with cold for my life as a whole.
So I went to the skating rink today.
Ass freezing freezing i was like leading with my nipples as i often do so yeah i don't do i don't do cold showers yeah so i mean if i if i have a year like the last year honestly can't ask for more i can't ask for more you know everybody's healthy everybody's happy um daughter's got great friends we've got great social circle uh show's doing fantastically doing great good in the world able to make enough money to pay uh our good friends james and jared and keep a little little over so yeah i mean and again thank you have all so much free demand.com slash donate to help out the show i'm at the age where i'm not looking for any big revolutions because if i haven't if i haven't gotten to the life where more of the same is a good thing in my late 50s i've kind of missed the boat somewhere and i'm not really sure i should be giving anybody else any advice about anything so no more of the same is fine with me so somebody says cold showers don't don't really have benefits outside of waking yourself up and shooting up your stress hormones.

[1:26:30] Have you ever done a polar bear swim? I did one polar bear swim.
Once! And all I could think of was, I bet you the Titanic people, like, the Titanic was the worst thing ever because you've got to jump into that incredibly cold water.
There does seem to be a bit of masochism over this, uh, I'm going to work out until my nipples sweat blood and i'm gonna do a cold showers and you know it's just like yeah yeah.

Masochism of cold showers and health benefits debate

[1:27:05] Yeah, I've never been a big fan of this, mortify your flesh and it's good for your health.
I mean, it works for some people or whatever, right?
Joe Rogan takes an ice bath every morning and stares into the sun.
But he has a lot of tattoos, doesn't he? So Joe Rogan, it's just that hurt your body masochist stuff, right?
My boss likes to jump in the Arctic Ocean. He's a bit of a nutcase.
Well, maybe if you go from like that Swedish thing from like super cold to super like the hot tubs or whatever maybe that's something better but saunas apparently are fantastic for you i was reading about this the other day the sauna is just really good i disagree regarding cold showers a lot of health benefits, saying it don't make it so and you know good luck with this trying to figure out whether it's just the cold showers right because people who are going to take cold showers and do something that that counterintuitive, have very strong willpower.
Obviously, they may have higher IQs. They may be health conscious to begin with.
So good luck separating the cold showers from every other variable known to man.
And, you know, you've got to be skeptical with this kind of stuff, man.
Rogan is a drug addict. Hard to take seriously. Is he still smoking a lot of weed, mushrooms? What does he do?

[1:28:28] Let's see here.

[1:28:35] Oh, somebody's talking about some health issues that Uncle has, right? DMT too? Yeah.
Ah, you sent a donation with a big message. Let me see here.
I did not see it. I did not see it. Maybe it's somewhere else.
I don't want to not give it to you if you have given it to me.
I do not want to withhold from you my very great thanks. Thanks.
Bruises on both my knees for you.
All right, so let's see here.

[1:29:09] Steph, do you know about trichotillomania? Trichotillomania, before I look that up, is that not pulling at your hair until it falls out? Is that not what it is?
Hair-pulling disorder, oh, yes.

[1:29:25] Oh, the vocab is quite something. Yes, my daughter is 13 and now has pulled all her head hair. No therapy helped. Gosh.
Gosh. Gosh. I'm sorry to hear that. That's very tough.
That's very tough. Topic, overcoming the self. I'm afraid you're going to have to. That's very stoic of you. A move, a pull. Okay.
Give me a couple of facts. And again, massive sympathies for this.
I've known actually, I've known a girl who had this.
She was working on her eyebrows, if I remember rightly, and it was a little eerie.
Um but um what's her life is she in i mean is she in government school what's her relationship like with her dad you know sort of the basics about what's going on with her is she um uh does she have any other body image issues or um what are her what is the friend circle like are they sort of positive or are they like paranoid wokesters or like i guess that would be sort of my big big question is sort of what's going on in her life as a whole that this may be occurring again i'm no expert and this is just you know all right let's see here.

Encounters with wild animals during wilderness walks and podcasts

[1:30:44] I'll give local support a message about the tip yeah support at locals.com if you have that have you ever encountered wild animals during your wilderness walk podcast um i think i saw I saw a snowy owl once, and yes, I did see a whole row of, it's funny, I was doing a video walk, a video cast, and I saw a whole row of wild turkeys, but by the time I got over to where they were, they seemed to have despawned, like they basically just went into the ether, they went into the nether.
So yes, occasionally, but nothing dangerous, of course.

The Complex Relationship between Attractiveness and Happiness

[1:31:24] Um the again i'm no expert on this obviously take everything i say it's just sort of rank, amateur stuff yeah you can you can email me so when i look at something like particularly for women pulling the hair out for girls sorry she's a girl pulling the hair out is a way of resisting being attractive it's a way of resisting being attractive it's a form of signaling feeling a discomfort with being attractive and why she would have that discomfort for being attractive you would know much better uh than her as her mother i assume as your mother as her mother you would know better than that but um uh judging from your picture you're a very attractive woman yourself and if you're being an attractive like physically attractive woman yourself you listen to the show so i'm sure you're a wonderful person too but being a physically attractive woman has that worked out for you in other words has your daughter seen your looks result in good things for you and if your daughter has seen maybe your looks have not been so positive for you in some ways because everyone thinks oh you know good-looking people have it so easy well we do but good-looking people have it so easy and having really good looks that's very tough.

[1:32:38] Particularly for a woman because it's really really tough to know who to trust it's really really tough to know who might be there for you your character your personality versus who's there for your looks your sex appeal or whatever right so my first guess would be if your daughter has seen your looks become a problem or be a problem or cause you unhappiness or to be exploited or have some sort of misery then she may be opposing the development of her own looks because she views use looks as dangerous uh again i don't know if this makes any sense but you can email me call in at freedomane.com if there's anything you'd like to discuss further about this and again just a sort of amateur idea um might be able to point out some associations but yeah just in general when i see girls say gaining weight or um having oddly dyed hair what they're doing is is they're pushing back against the value of female attractiveness, which means, I think, that they've looked at their moms in particular, maybe their dad, but probably their moms, and said, you know, physical attractiveness causes more problems than it's worth, if that makes sense.

[1:33:56] All right. Yes.
Let me get to your question here.

[1:34:09] Hmm. Girl in middle school did that. I assume she was tormented. Very rich family.
I always wonder what happened there. She was shed in class, pulling out her once luscious hair down to the skull. Yeah.
Oh, the guy you knew even plucked all his eyelashes? Wow. Wow.
Steph, you were supposed to say how you fought off a huge bear.
No, I don't think I would win against a huge bear.
Pretty sure I wouldn't. What are they, 1,600 pounds?
Obesity is sometimes a deterrent too. Yes, for sure. Yes, for sure.
All right, I'll get to your question. Sapanta, I will get to your question.
Like Britney Spears shaving her head yeah her looks weren't doing her any good right her looks weren't doing her any good quite the opposite, really really pretty people and in particular really pretty women certainly in the modern era they have a very very complicated relationship with their own looks it's not simple at all and it's not easy it's not easy, alright let's get to your question my friend hey Steph two thumbs up have you ever doubt oh wait no I did this one oh gosh I have too many of these open just too many.

[1:35:32] Oh, I thought I had copied and pasted this one. Look at me running the show without an assistant.
Oh yeah, here we go. All right. Hey, Steph.

Achieving Success but Struggling with Happiness

[1:35:43] Over the past year, I've been achieving a lot of good things for myself, like working hard with my therapist, getting a new job, and becoming a fully ticketed welder.
Going to the gym regularly, keeping a good, well-written journal, reading a lot more books, and taking good care of my finances.
Yet, despite all of these good things, I've recently been wickedly depressed and have even missed a lot of time at work.
Do you have any thoughts or insights on this? I should be happy.
Ah, there's that should. There's that should.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Why do you think you should be happy?
What do you need? Oh, I just went full mosquito. What do you need?
I just went full mosquito on you. Sorry about that. I'm sure that's a mosquito repellent on some planner.
And what do you need to be happy?
What do you need to be happy?
And yes, if you want to just donate at freedomain.com slash donate, that will work out and that's fine.
That's fairly bulletproof. freedomain.com slash donate.
So what do you need to be happy? So you have a theory, right?

[1:36:55] You have a theory.
That you should be happy, but you're not happy. So you say, I should be happy.
There's nothing wrong with my theory. My happiness model is just broken.

[1:37:13] Why should that be true at all? I mean, if somebody wins the lottery, they get this high and then they crash, right?
And then they feel like useless, wasted time.
They don't know what to do with themselves and everyone around them just wants their money, right?
So he says well I just won the lottery I should be happy, I should be happy.

[1:37:42] But you're not happy. So the rational thing, in my humble opinion, the rational thing to do is to say, well, my theory is incorrect.
My theory is incorrect. I should be happy.
I'm not happy. Like if you have a theory, well, if I do X, Y, and Z, I'll lose weight.

[1:38:05] And you don't lose weight, you say, well, I should be losing weight.
It's like, well, you thought you would do something to lose weight.
You're not losing weight and therefore your theory about whatever it is um would i talk to your 13 year old daughter no and i'm sorry about that i don't talk to uh people who aren't adults so i don't do the sort of kid stuff but uh yeah so um this is to the sorry i'll get back to this the woman with the 13 year old daughter and listen i appreciate you bringing this up i mean it's a a it's a very big topic and and again massive sympathies for uh for what's going on but what i would say is that if you have a complicated relationship as i'm sure you do to your own attractiveness and you seem very pretty then that's something to talk about with your daughter the pluses and minuses of attractiveness because uh it seems to me that she would be hiding from her own attractiveness for some reason and i assume that it's because it was somewhat negative for you at times right so you know like if if to take a sort of silly example this is just to translate to guy speak so if i had a son right and uh i kept exercising at the gym but kept injuring myself oh i can't move my neck oh i pulled a muscle and i just it hurt and i limp around and all of that and i say come with me to work out he'd be like i don't really want it i don't want to be a pirate i don't want to really work out because you know like it's kind of of painful for you and.

[1:39:30] It seems to hurt you a lot and i just i don't really want like or if i do work out i don't want to work out with your guidance because you just keep hurting yourself and you just limp it around and you gotta lie down the bad back and blah blah blah right.

[1:39:44] I don't think I'll do a review with Izzy on migration. I don't think that the movie had enough depths, and it was just way too cliched.
Way too cliched. Oh, my gosh.
You can just feel people falling into these train tracks. Well, we can't see anything original. We can't do anything unusual.
We've got to appeal to everyone, and we've got to, you know.
Like, nothing gets approved unless it's programming people to go against their instincts, reason, facts, reality, all that. So.
All right, so let's get back to your question, right? Um...
Why should you be happy?
Now, the answer, I don't know the answer, right? I'm just obviously guessing from the amateur outside view, right? I don't know the answer, right?
But it's right in the beginning of the first sentence, or the last part of the first sentence, right?
Hey, Steph, over the past year, I've been achieving a lot of things, a lot of good things for... Hey, Steph, over the past year, I've been achieving a lot of good things for...
What? For who? Anybody remember?
Anybody remember? What's he been achieving a lot of good things for?

[1:40:55] He has been achieving a lot of good things for...
Yeah, himself. For yourself. And that's fine.
There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, you know, you've got to put the oxygen mask over your own face before you help anyone else around you.
But what's it for?

[1:41:17] Right?
What's it for?

The Purpose of Exercise and Physical Strength

[1:41:24] I mean, if you just go to the gym and you lift a bunch of weights, right? Okay, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with it. It's better than not lifting weights, but what's it for?
I mean, I lift weights. One of the reasons that I lift weights and exercise, probably a little bit too much is because I like to be able to play racquet sports.
I like to be able to go skiing. I like to be able to go with my daughter and skate for an hour.
I like to not feel feel sore i like to have that kind of energy i like to have that kind of strength i can't, stand the idea of going through life like either pear-shaped or stick insect like no muscles no tone no nothing right i just i like having that heft i like having that strength i like having the confidence that comes with that i like i just like it all around right so it kind of adds to my happiness it adds to my self-respect and i just you know i really love it i mean it's not always what's the most exciting thing to do, but with tablets and Catan or whatever, I can get through the workout.
So what's it for?
Right, what's it for? You say, working hard with my therapist, good stuff.
Getting a new job, becoming a fully ticketed welder, good stuff.
Going to the gym regularly, good.
Well-written journal, good stuff. Reading books, taking good care of my finances. For what?

[1:42:45] For what? Philosophy is when there's no more for what. You understand?

[1:42:54] Philosophy is when there's no more for what, right? Well, I go to work.
For what? To make money. For what? To buy things. For what?
So that I'm not unhappy. So that I can be happy. Now, if you're happy, you don't say, for what?
No, because that's the end state, right? No, you're not at the end state, which means that you have a for what to go.
When you get to that final for what, and people said, well, what are you excited about next year? It's like, hey, man, if next year is like last year, that's great.
That's fine, right? That's good for me, right? Because I'm at the place where, obviously, I'm doing a lot of good in the world and doing real deep philosophy and writing great books.
And I don't know that I could be doing a whole lot better in the world if I tried.
I mean, if there was things I thought that I could do better, I would do that, right?
So, yeah, for what? Now, it would be kind of sad if you were happy only doing things for yourself, because that would mean that you wouldn't need anyone else to complete your happiness. But we're social animals.
If we do things solely for ourselves, it will not make us happy.
Now, we have to do some things for ourselves, of course, right?
But if we do things solely for ourselves, it will not make us happy.

[1:44:15] Because it's not universal. It's not universalizable. Because if your parents had done only things for themselves, you wouldn't be here.

[1:44:26] Your existence, my existence, everyone here, all of our existence is predicated on the fact that other people made sacrifices and did things for others at their own expense.
Did things for others at their own expense.
I mean, I talked about this in my review with Izzy. No, after I talked about this afterwards, she saw the movie with her friends. I don't really want to go see a Hunger Games movie. I didn't think they were any good.
But she's like, no, you've really got to come. It's a really good movie and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, my God, it's almost three hours.
Hunger Games, three hours? It's like watching three hours of somebody build Lego in slow motion.
And she's like, no, no, no, it's really good, right? So I went and she was right.
It was a good film and well worth watching.
And you can sort of get more on that in the review that we have at freedomain.locals.com.
So you just do things. You trust people and you do things that people suggest and all of that.
So you're doing things for others, right? Doing things for others.

[1:45:32] So I think as far as the happiness goes, it does have to be kind of universalizable in order for it to be virtue.
Virtue has to have something to do with that which is universalizable.
Or that which is universal, right?
We're all here because our ancestors sacrificed and didn't just do things for themselves and I'm not saying it's bad that you're doing things for yourself I'm not saying that's bad at all but it's not going to be enough to make you happy.

[1:46:08] So, you are, you're living at home.
I don't know how old you are. You're old enough to be a fully ticketed welder.
So, I assume mid-20s, early 20s, something like that, 24 and so on, 25.
Ah, that's time. That's time to be out, isn't it? I mean, am I wrong about this?
What is that, the old call with Trump? You know, you still believe in Santa because it's seven. It's marginal. It's marginal, you know?
So if you're in your sort of mid-20s, again, I don't know. I mean, I know it's a tough economy, but I don't care.
I mean, this is not a conversation full of people who can judge themselves by the average, right?
We can't judge ourselves by the average. That would be kind of crazy.
I mean, that wouldn't make any sense at all. And people say, well, it's tough. It's like, yeah, well, you know, I mean, I moved out and got a room for $275 a month.
Month okay i know that was a long time it was double since then 550 maybe 600 a month 700 whatever it is right just get a room in a place and i didn't own any property till i was way older, and then it took a long time to own that property let me tell you what you all know this this story right so uh i think it's marginal if you're a fully accredited welder is it not uh.

[1:47:31] Time to get your own place. Oh, it's expensive. I'm saving money.
It's like, you're not saving money if it's making you depressed, right?
And of course, your parents should be, in my view, your parents should be like, if my daughter's still home in her mid-twenties, I'm like, change the locks.
She's going to be like, come on, man. Get out, move around, right? Get out, move around.
Get out there, do something to the world, right? So.

[1:47:55] I think your unhappiness is pushing you to go further.

[1:48:01] Steph, he says he wants to eventually get a girlfriend, and I also have the same thing. Should we look for women before we're 100%?
In terms of physical or financial? I don't want to wait and get older.
What do you mean? You won't get a girlfriend until you have a lot of money? Are you crazy?
What? Do you think that's how it worked throughout all of our...
Well, if I don't have a mansion, I can't possibly marry someone in the 11th century.
If I don't have Alexis, I can't possibly marry someone.
You're 28? You're 28? Oh, come on.
The idea of having my own place at the moment terrifies me. You're right.
I'm not saving money being depressed outside of work, and what I've mentioned, I don't do as much else to make money.
Okay, 28? You've been an adult for 10 years?
10 years?
10 years you can't move out, and look guys okay you tell me 1 to 10 how blunt should I be 1 to 10 how blunt should I be I am your willing philosophy fluffer, what how blunt do you want me to be.

[1:49:25] "'I will wait for you. 11, 10, 8. Be nice to hear from the original poster. 10.

Fear of rejection and postponing relationships

[1:49:41] All my friends who have lots of kids and are married in their 40s met their wives in college or immediately after prior to career success.
At 28, move out, dag nabbit.
As hard as possible? All right.
All right. All right. You asked for it. You're going to get it.
Oh, you're going to get it. This needs some chapstick.
You're not waiting for the right moment. You're scared of rejection.
Rejection. Let's just be honest.
Like, oh, well, I've got to be in just the right position in order to ask a girl out. Nope. Absolutely not.
You're just scared of rejection. And I get that. I understand that.
But let's be honest about it.
I mean, let's just be straight up frank about it. You don't want to ask a girl out. You're afraid of being rejected.
You're afraid maybe you've missed the bus. And so you're postponing, you're creating this standard that you can, oh, well, when I'm ready and when I'm in just the right position, it's like, nope, no.
Because the longer you wait, the more depressed you're going to be.
Because you're missing the bus. All the good women are being snatched up.
They're being taken out of circulation. They're being yanked, yeeted out.
Not just by the chads and the alphas, but by the good guys. The good guys are like, find the good girls and bing, bing, bing, bing, take, take, take, take.

[1:50:58] And if you just wait and wait and oh it's going to right right you get more and more depressed how attractive are you when you're depressed you're not very attractive at all so this waiting is not working it's not supposed to work waiting is fatal waiting is fatal waiting is death Death, postponing, is not procrastination.
It's penile detonation. It's a ball explosion. It's spermicide.
The fuck are you waiting for? You're a young, healthy, well-earning 28-year-old.
You're pushing 30, for God's sakes.
You've got to be honest with yourself.
It's not getting better in the future.
Because there are a few look I happened I happened in my 30s to meet the woman of my dreams, some people win the lottery but don't plan your life by that don't plan your life by my incredibly fortuitous example and I get like literally bone chills when I think about all of the dominoes that had to happen for me to meet my wife.

[1:52:05] But oh god please, Don't wait. What are you waiting for?
Well, I hope that by the time I'm 40, I have a couple hundred grand in the bank and a nice pickup truck.
And that way, I can start dating all the women in their mid to late 30s who are leftovers.
Oh, God. I mean, so the way it worked for me, rightly or wrongly, the way it worked for me.

[1:52:41] Was hourglass. You've got to hourglass. You've got to flip over the hourglass.
You know, the five-minute hourglass. You've got to flip over that hourglass.
Time's ticking away. The woman of your dreams has three guys circling her right now.
The woman of your dreams. I don't know if you know her or you've got to go find, go get yourself in social situations.
And maybe it's not the girl you ask out. Maybe it doesn't work out with her.
Maybe she's got a friend. Maybe she's got a sister.
Maybe she's got someone else. Maybe you've got a cousin. And who knows, right? Maybe you meet some guy at the gym who's in his 50s and he's got a girl, a daughter who's in her 20s.
And maybe you just go network, go socialize, go talk to people, go join a sports league, go join a line dancing brigade, go be a volunteer fireman.
Well, aren't many women around there?
Yes, but there are lots of men there who know women. And if they like you, they'll introduce you.
Go out and do something and make it happen because time's ticking away.
And that grim t-rex death march of deep footprints one of which is going to be your grave is just getting closer and closer and closer and closer.

[1:53:47] Waiting is wilting. Waiting is dying. Waiting is losing.
And you need to freak the fuck out.
You need to freak out, man. You're 28.
Steph, do we exist in the past?

The fear of being left with undesirable partners

[1:54:26] Boy, that's an abstract intellectual defense if ever I've heard one.
Death is getting closer day by day. All the good women are being taken out of circulation and you'll be left with the runts, the leftovers, the crazies, the druggies.
The nine kids by ten different parents and you gotta start moving and get out there and start asking and get yourself involved and get a social circle and get yourself a mate yes but do we exist in the past, I'm sorry I don't mean to mock you because I'm glad you're here man but holy shit on a stick if that's not an example of one of the most patently obvious intellectual abstract defenses I don't know what is, oh my god God, do we exist in the past?

[1:55:21] Discerning between procrastination and deferral of gratification can be tricky. Oh, no?
Get out there, meet people, ask out girls. Well, but deferral of gratification, that's different from procrastination.
No, it's not.
Deferral of gratification is something that you desperately want to do now, but you're willing to put off till later.
Procrastination is something you desperately don't want to do now that you put off till later.
You think that's different?
You know, distinguishing north from south is really tricky. Well, maybe at the North Pole, I guess, but it's not difficult at all.
So deferring gratification is, well, I really want that cheesecake, but I'm not going to eat it.
Maybe I'll eat it later, but I really want that cheesecake as opposed to, well, I don't want to do my taxes, so I'll do them later.
It's like you want the cheesecake, you desperately don't want to do the taxes.
Do you not know the difference between wanting to do something and desperately not wanting to do something?
You have no idea, but the food, well, I love this food. I hate that food.
I don't know the difference between those. I'm sorry. I don't see that one as complicated at all.

[1:56:45] Oh, my gosh.

[1:56:51] Damn. I spent my first paycheck on Yankee season tickets, and then I moved out of my parents' house as soon as I had enough cash for a deposit. Yeah.

[1:57:04] Any ideas on how someone can know if they're financially ready for kids?
I don't know. Why don't we go back a thousand years or ten thousand years and ask your ancestors, struggling to pull one fucking minnow out of a swamp water, whether, well, how do I know?
Okay, I'm approximately ten zillion times richer than ten of your generations put together, but I'm just not really sure that I know exactly when the financially right time is to have children. and it's like, what?
We're basically Gollum out here pounding dead fish into a tree stump and trying to gnaw its innards to get enough energy to get another fish that we can pound out on a tree trunk like Gollum so we can get enough energy and then maybe I can accidentally fall asleep and ejaculate into my wife's cleavage.
But you just don't know how much money, how much money do you have?
How much money, how much money do you have? Well, we are approximately 10,000 times wealthier than your average medieval peasant. He's like, medieval peasant?
Well, wait a minute. Medieval peasant is like 300 times wealthier than I am.
Wait, so you're 10,000 times wealthier than a medieval peasant who's 300 times wealthier than me.
So you're 3 million times wealthier than me. And you're like, well, but I don't know if I can have children or not because I just don't know if I have enough money.

[1:58:28] Oh, my gosh.

The misconception of personal experiences as universal truths

[1:58:32] There might be several men circling the woman of your dreams, but I guarantee they're not all real competition, and all you need to do is show up. Just show up and ask her out.
Source, there were several men circling me when my husband asked me out. Oh, no, you didn't.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my dear, dear, dear lady. Oh, you didn't.
All right. What did she do? What did she just do?
Come on, people. What did she just do?
I love women, my gosh, but this habit is a little tougher. It's a little tougher to have great affection for.
What did she do?

[1:59:19] Oh, my gosh.
No, it's not. Yeah, it's her life is a universal story.
Her life is facts. Her life is data. Her experience is everyone.
One. Well, because it happened to me, I guarantee it's your situation too. Nope.
She did the woman thing by herself with everything. Yeah, you got it. She got it.
Well, it happened to me, therefore it's going to happen to you.
You know, when I go to the bar in the low-cut top, people buy me drinks.
I'm sure as a man, if you go to the bar in the low-cut top, people buy you drinks too.

[2:00:02] That is funny as a single female career homemaker no kids I have a flock of seagull men hanging around me but I'm still waiting for the right one, Oh, my gosh. I mean, I love it, but you got to do better.
You got to do better because this is a philosophy show, right? It's a philosophy show.
And again, I'm glad you made that comment. And I'm not laughing at you because it's just very funny.
It's very funny to me. And I don't mean this in any kind of mean way, but it's just something that I've seen about a zillion times.
Well, but I, right, you know, men are taller than, well, I'm a tall woman, therefore, right?
So, no, that's just you. That's just you.
You can't guarantee anything to anyone else because it happened to you.
There might be several men circling the woman of your dreams, but I guarantee that not all real competition and all you need to do is show up to show up and ask her out.
Source, there were several men circling me when my husband asked me out.
You can't guarantee anything based upon your personal experience.
You can't guarantee. Imagine, right? So I had cancer and I beat cancer.
Now, can you imagine me saying to someone who has cancer, well, you'll beat it because I did.
Can you imagine me saying that? I guarantee you'll beat cancer because I did.
That would be crazy because a lot of people don't, right? Right?

[2:01:27] It's a fine line between being attractive and asking for attention.
Being attractive is asking for attention. I don't mean if you're, you know, just because you're attractive and all of that. Right? But. Ah.

[2:01:45] Oh, wow. That was something. All right. What have we got here?

Building a social network and going out to ask people out

[2:01:53] Thank you, Steph and others here. I love the idea of going out, joining a sports team or club of some sort and building a social network or alliance.
Right. You know, you know. Do you guys know this?

[2:02:07] Do you guys know this? You don't find your girlfriend, right?
When does being attractive become leading men on? Oh, my gosh. Guys.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. do you know how much fog I'm getting back when I say act here?
I'm trying not to be annoyed. I'm failing. Doesn't mean you're being annoying.
I'm just saying I'm annoyed because I'm giving people some absolutely essential life, hard-won, bitterly achieved life wisdom about getting the fuck out there and getting on with your life and going out and asking and making friends and making contacts.
And you're all like, yes, but it's a fine line between this and that.
And when does being attracted become leading men on? and what is the difference between deferring gratification?
It's really tough between that and... Fog, fog, fog!
Confusion, confusion, confusion! Hair splitting, hair splitting, hair splitting! Oh my God!
You've got to be kidding me!

[2:03:08] Oh, don't make me take these hills and put them up my nose!
Unclog my eustachian tube. Oh my God!
Go out and do something. I think, well, it's a fine line between going out, being sideways, going north and disintegrating.
I mean, just go outside. Well, atomically speaking, there's not as much difference as you'd think between the door, the doorway and the doorframe.

[2:03:41] Oh, my God.
I'm sorry. I love you guys. I do. I'm so thankful that we're here having this conversation.
I appreciate and love you guys for your contributions.
But you get what you're doing, right? What I'm saying is provoking anxiety, and you're taking refuge in hair splitting.
Do we exist in the past? Here's how your future should be.
Ah, yes. but do we exist in the yesteryear of memory?

[2:04:14] Oh, God. I get it.
What do I want from you? What do I want from you?
I just want you to be honest and say, Steph, when you talk about taking these practical kinds of things and getting out there in the world, it scares the shit out of me. In fact, I think I just shat-dribbled myself a little bit on the inside of my leg.
I'm jetpacking right up a little here. It's making me really, really anxious.
Okay, I can respect that. That's honest. I get that fear. I understand that fear. It's not like I've never experienced any anxiety over the course of my life.
I sympathize with that. But please don't give me this curvaceous maximum verbosity word salad of mental disintegration.
Just say to me, Steph, your suggestions of practical activities are scaring me because they're pushing me right up against my insecurities.

The obliviousness to obvious truths

[2:05:08] Fantastic. That's an honest statement. But do we exist in the past?
I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you, but it is really... It's funny how obvious it is and how little people see it. Right.

[2:05:26] And again, I mean this in no mean way at all. I love you guys for bringing this up, and I love you for bringing it to everyone's attention.
But when I say, go out there, meet people, go out there, talk to people, go out there, find a girl, go out there, ask a girl, don't wait, stop deferring, stop procrastinating, just go do it now because the girl, like, when I give you the urgency, when I give you the urgency, it makes you anxious.
Because the reason you haven't been doing it is not because you're waiting to be ready, but because you don't want to do it.
But rather than say, I don't want to do it, you say, well, I'm just not ready.
Tell me if I'm wrong. Tell me if I'm wrong.

[2:06:14] I'm happy to hear if I'm wrong. You're scared to do it. And listen, I'm not putting you down for that. I'm not putting you down for that.
All right, let me give you the practical thing about finding a woman. Do nouns exist?
Tim, do not put imaginary salt in my fleshy wounds.
I'm being crucified on the cross of abstract emotional defenses, masquerading as intellectual inquiry. query.
My insecurities are massive, but that's something I can work on and fix. No, it's not.
You see, your insecurities, you think you can just work on them and make them go away? Nope.
You got to go out and do stuff and your insecurities will wash away.
All right. Yes, you don't meet the woman of your dreams on your own. You don't.
Well, she's not going to wander into your house. You're probably not going to find her online. You're not going to trip over over in the street.
She's not going to ask you out in the grocery store.

[2:07:16] How do you meet a girl? The answer is you don't. You meet a social circle.
They introduce you to the girl, right?
That's how I met my wife, joined a volleyball league with some friends of mine, through the volleyball league.
And again, I'm not trying to, I know what it was my experience, but everyone I know has met someone through friends.
They met them through college, through friends at college, they met them through friends at parties, they met them through dinner parties, they met them through relations of friends.
If you don't have a big social circle, you can't find a woman.
Now, I guess I know this is the online thing, but, you know, I'm not sure how successful that is as a whole.
Because women, I don't know, one to ten, how frank do you want me to be?
I know everyone says ten, but I need to check with y'all. I still need to check with you.
1 to 10. How frank do you want me to be?

[2:08:19] All right, 10 it is, and hopefully, hopefully, you will give me a tip or two, right?
Let's see here, met my ex-wife, my old friend's girlfriend, who I met on a ski trip I planned. Her girlfriend thought it was cool, she set us up.
Yes, everyone I know who's in a good relationship or marriage met their partner through their social circle of some sort, yes, right.
All right.

[2:08:49] Crazy women will meet you without a social circle.
Women who can't process risk or danger will meet you not through a social circle or something like that.
Why? Because women are vulnerable. Women can be taken advantage of.
Women can be aggressed against. Women are generally physically weaker and shorter.
And so a woman...
A woman of any common sense will absolutely want you to be vetted by her friends or know someone she knows or know someone who knows of you.
She won't just want you zooming in out of the blue.
She wants to know that you have social skills. She wants to know that you have a circle of friends. She wants you to know that people like you.
If you're some loner sitting in the basement, what does she know? Nobody likes you.
I'm sorry. I mean, maybe there'll be people theoretically who maybe are wonderful, but there's no practical evidence that people like you.

[2:09:59] So I want you to think of this. I want you to think of a buffet with a hundred fantastic food items and they're all gone except one that's not touched.
Are you going to eat the one that's not touched? You are not.

[2:10:13] Because you'd be like, well, wait a minute. Why is nobody else eating this?
Did people try it and get sick?
Did this come out with fur on it? Like, does it have worms in it?
Like, why is nobody eating this? You wouldn't just, oh, great.
You know, this is the food.
So if you don't have friends, you're not vetted.
You lack social skills. Now, if you lack social skills, how good are you going to be in a relationship?
A relationship is just social skills. That's all it is. No magic to it.
A relationship is just social skills.
There's no particular thing that I do with my family that I would not... Sorry.
There's no particular relationship thing or interactional thing or conversational thing that I do with my family that I wouldn't do with other people.
I mean, negotiate with my family, negotiate with other people.
Relationship skills are just social skills. So if you don't have a social circle, she thinks nobody likes you, nobody wants to be your friend, and you don't have any social skills.
And if you don't have any social skills, how are you going to be in a relationship?
And if you don't have any social skills, how the fuck are you going to go out there and make some money? How are you going to bring home any cheddar?
How are you going to negotiate with people? How are you going to keep your job?
How are you going to get a job? Right?

The Challenge of Being Someone's Entire Social Circle

[2:11:32] She needs you to have friends she needs you to be popular, I mean if you met a woman who was attractive in her late 20s and she's like I don't have any friends nobody wants to spend any time with me, well have you ever had any friends? No. I don't like people.
They also don't like me, so it matches out. Okay.
You know what that means. If you meet a girl in her late 20s, she's got no friends, never really had any friends, you know what that means.
It means you're going to have to be her entire social circle for the next 50 to 60 years. years.
You're going to have to be girlfriends, extended family, friends, everyone and everything.
I don't have any friends, says the original poster. My social skills are definitely not good.
However, I'm quite liked at my job, especially by supervision slash management. Good.
Go make some friends.
Go make some friends.

[2:12:52] Uh, also if, um, if she doesn't have any friends or any social circle, then, uh, how easy is it going to be to raise your kids, right?
How easy is it going to be to raise your kids if nobody wants to come over to your house and no other kids are going to want to come over to your house and nobody wants to spend any time at your house?
And your kids can look at you like okay who voted you planetary lepers of the universe, how to bring up if you do food with family and she asks about your family well i mean i don't know but you can say um yes uh my family was unfortunately quite abusive i worked very hard to work it out with them but they weren't willing to budge and i'm just not willing to have abusive people in my life so unfortunately it just hasn't worked out and um obviously you know the other thing too is that, you know, I don't want any future girlfriend of mine to have to deal with abusive in-laws. Like that's no good, right?
And I have these pretty strict standards, I guess, right?
Thank you, Arctec. I appreciate that. That's very kind. Thank you so much.
My goal for 2024 is to get out there more. I don't know. I may be fine with a girl who who doesn't have much of a social life, Steph.

[2:14:17] You might be fine with a girl who doesn't have much of a social life.
Okay, how is she learning how to negotiate relationships if she doesn't have friends? How is she learning how to get along with people, how to make compromises without losing her own identity?
How is she learning how to get along with people and negotiate with them without resentment or dominance if she doesn't have any friends?
If she can't even figure out how to choose a movie with friends, how is she going to figure out How to live a life with you.

Seeking motivation and understanding the essence of cheerness

[2:14:51] This has been a fun conversation so far. I want to be 25 again, but I'll settle for grabbing some of this motivation.
Get out there and meet a girl. Yes, but what is the essence of cheerness?
That's funny. It's funny, but it makes me cry.
Thank you.

[2:15:15] No i mean again you might find thank you very much uh you might find you might find a woman who's a unicorn and she's gonna be fantastic in a relationship even though she doesn't have any friends to practice any relationship skills on maybe uh you know like like i watched this documentary about this skater he was like i don't know half indigenous in australia or something like that and the first time he was on skates he didn't fall he skated beautifully and he just had had a complete knack and habit for it and he was just perfect at it it was graded and all that it's like okay yeah but that's like literally one in 10 million people and you could you know you have a job even though there's a lottery right so you you got to work the odds right go out there make friends and try and get into a friend group and be somebody that people want to engage with and that way and then you can say i'm looking for a girl does anybody know anybody does anybody know know a girl who they think might fit, right?
Don't do, uh, don't do it all yourself.
My God, all these people are like, well, I've got to do it all by myself.
My gosh, I have to do it all by myself.
Well, it depends. What if she's willing to be led? I can show her those aspects needed for a relationship.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at you either.

[2:16:37] How is she going to know whether she should be led or not if she doesn't have any experience with relationships even in friendships, I can show her those aspects needed for a relationship, how do you know, are you going to teach, let's say she hasn't had a friend since she was 10 and she's 30, so you've got 20 years of no friendships how are you going to backfill that, just out of curiosity, how are you going to backfill all of that you're just going to do some matrix mind meld, download the ability to fly a helicopter copter, oh my gosh.

[2:17:13] Ha ha, hey yeah, maybe I can find a girl in isolation, give her RTR and we live happily ever after. That's not the strategy I'm going to go with, though. No, I don't think that's a good plan.
I don't think that's a good plan. Now, you could say that she's just too great, she's just too wonderful to have friends.
She's got too much integrity, she's Dominique Roark or whatever, Dominique, what was her last name, Keating, at one point. Francois, Dominique Francois, right?
Lack of a social circle means her family will be more important than a priority for her, no?
Maybe. But why isn't her family saying, you got to have some friends.
You got to have some friends.
Go out there, make some friends. We're going to introduce you to some friends.
Why is her family not popular enough that other people's kids want to come over and their parents want to come over to your house, to her house, right? Why?
It means that her parents don't have social skills, which means they didn't teach her social skills, which means how's she going to connect with you?
How's she going to navigate and negotiate with you?
Listen, it's like you meet the girl of your dreams, but she only speaks Japanese.
It's like, okay, well, I'll just learn fluent Japanese, or she'll just learn fluent English.
And it's way easier to learn fluent Japanese or fluent English than it is to develop social skills when you've had a family crippled by isolation and introversion for decades.

[2:18:32] And also, if she has had problems with her family, then I assume that her social circle will be more important too, right?
When you meet a woman who's never had high school friends or doesn't socialize with women from work, then it won't work. I've tried. I have way too many gaps.
They have way too many gaps in normal social interaction skills. Be careful.
Like, especially if you're in your late 20s, you can't be building the plane when it's taking off.
You can't be building the plane when it's taking off. so you want a woman who's going to have kids in the next couple of years why because you're in your late 20s and you don't want to wait till your mid-30s right so you're going to meet a woman you're going to want her to evaluate you to have trust in her own instincts to be able to fall in love to have good social skills good relationship skills get married and then be a good mother with a good circle of friends to help her raise the kids because women raising kids completely in isolation tend to go a little crazy as do men with the same thing because we're social creatures and we takes a village and all of that so you're looking for all of that all of that happening all of that incredibly accelerated social skill stuff happening with somebody who has no social skills.

Strategies for meeting quality women and the role of sports

[2:19:40] I tried asking my workmates if they know anyone and nothing came of it.
Should I become a gym bro to meet people? I wasn't taught how to develop social skills.
Well, why did your friends...
Well, first of all, don't ask your single friends, obviously, because if your single friends know a great girl, well, they won't be introducing her to you because they're bros and they want to keep her for herself, for themselves, right? So they're probably going to try and keep her for themselves.
So you don't ask other single guys, hey, single guys, do you know any really high quality women?
What are they going to say? Oh, yeah, but she'd never go out with me.
I'm a loser, but she'll go out with you, right?

[2:20:20] Do you have a set of criteria when deciding where to live? I'm still not sure where I want to settle down.
I don't know. Don't be in a city. That would be one thing I would suggest. Maybe. Just maybe.
Now, so, the good thing about sports leagues is you'll also meet guys who are married, guys who are in relationships, and they will know people that they're not going to date because they're already married in relationships, but who might be good for you, right?
Yeah, but you can't get quality girls from your male friends, right? That's not going to work.

[2:20:53] The gym is a pretty solo sport. sport most you'll get is the occasional asking someone to spot you yeah i mean i was in the gym for years i met some women uh but it was basically through um uh yoga that i met uh girls that i could chat with and all of that and did chat with a couple of girls and ask a couple of girls out never went really went anywhere but you could certainly meet them that way but that's going through um they don't see your friendships they don't see right if you go see if you go into a sports league, then people see you can play sports, you can be a good loser, you can win without becoming an asshole, you can, you know, you're not self-critical overly, you don't scream at yourself when you miss a shot, you don't get mad at other people.
Like there's a whole hierarchy and display of social and emotional skills that occurs just in your basic sport, right?
Like if you're really good at the sport, you temper yourself down to allow other people, right?
If you're really bad at the sport, you let other people step in sometimes to take the hit in volleyball or wherever you're playing right um how do you handle defeat how do you handle a victory how do you handle working with teammates how do you handle it when somebody flubs an easy shot right you she gets to see your whole sense of demeanor your whole sense of working with yourself she gets to see your inner critic she gets to see your graciousness she gets to see all kinds of great stuff i don't think she really gets to see that at the gym but she'll definitely get to see that when you're playing a sport.

[2:22:19] So there's a reason why guys meet girls through sports, right?
And you also get to see those things in her as well, right?
I mean, I remember once playing beach volleyball, and there were a bunch of girls around.
They just stood around. They just stood around, and they looked pretty.
And whenever the ball came, they were like, eee.
It was just like, oh, my God. Like, I could never in a million years.
I mean, I call my wife the action wife, right? Because she just, you know, let's go dirt biking. Sure.
Right? She's just very active that way and does kinds of cool stuff that way.
Yeah, sport is great for bringing out a person's true nature.
Yeah, for sure. For sure.
Maybe scrabble the monopoly too but i think sport oh come on people tell me i'm not giving you some useful stuff here yeah good sportsmanship and winning more than losing will get you the girl, um it's not so much meaning more than losing it's having decent grace about these things, right so what a woman a quality woman is looking for how you process reality now if you scream at yourself are missing shots, it means that you're not processing how good you are, right?

Wrapping up the show and seeking tips

[2:23:29] All right, we're done. My gosh, we're in two and a half hours.
Any last comments or tips?
Tips would be most helpful as we sail into the final show or two of 2023.
Of the 250 shows, the one and a half entire books that have gone out, the French Revolution, the History of Philosophers series, all of that kind of good stuff.
Do you have any thoughts on dating divorced women? It could be if they work through it.
Freedomain.com slash donate. You can tip here on the app. You can tip, of course, on...

[2:24:05] Uh, sorry, I missed a few things here.
Please interview Just Pearly Things. She's on Rumble now. Two million YouTube followers.
Uh, yeah, she's did the whole calendar gate thing. I find quite fascinating, but maybe I'll talk about that another time.
What are your thoughts on dating an older woman, 29, who has complex post-traumatic stress disorder with limited friends, but is logical, attractive, intelligent, and goal-driven?
Is she virtuous? Is she kind? Is she thoughtful? Is she considerate? Is she, right?
There were definitely some aspects of sports when I was dating my husband.
I tried dirt bikes. He tried horseback riding. Yeah, for sure.
Do you still plan to add philosophers to the History of Philosophers series?
Yes, I do, Joe. Absolutely. I have for the next one is Kant, but Kant is huge.
Kant is huge. I'm still honestly occasionally gathering notes and stuff.
I might do The Truth About Witches. I was just reading a bunch of that.
I'm still waiting for my local support email. I make sure you get a tip from me for this on top of my monthly subs here and on Telegram.
Thank you so much. And if you want to do a call-in show, whether you tip or not, you're certainly more than welcome to do a call-in show with me, and I really do appreciate that.
And listen, again, I'm sorry, I hope that I don't come across as mean when I laugh, but it is funny funny, and I hope that I'm getting you to see yourself in a humorous fashion rather than any kind of self-contemptuous fashion.
So I hope that comes across.
I'm not trying to be mean, and I really do appreciate everyone's comments here.

[2:25:32] Uh yeah the truth about witches you know it was a giant me too thing the whole the whole salem witch trial stuff is just a bunch of girls accusing people for clout and power that was wild totally me too thing anyway we can talk about that another time but uh, all right what else did i miss here, now dating divorced women i mean it could work it could work i mean depends if they have kids maybe not so much.
Thank you, Rivelo, I appreciate that, and have yourselves a wonderful new year if you're not around on Sunday, and I'll understand if you won't.
I mean, maybe, theoretically, there could be other good stuff to do with your life, can't imagine what, but could be.
So, if I don't see you on Sunday, talk to you on Sunday, then I absolutely hope that you have a Truth About Witches part two.
This would be more of a historical one and less of a theoretical one. Thank you.
La la. La la la la. Thank you very much. I appreciate that tip as well. Very kind.
Thanks for the stream. Happy New Year to everyone. I hope you have a wonderful time over New Year's and can't wait to see you next year and for many years to come.
Thank you everyone so much for your support.
I love you guys to death. Thank you for the deep and great honor of this conversation and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

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