[0:00] Start here. Yes, good afternoon. I just wanted to drop by for a little bit of time today and say hi.
Announcement a little bit here and there. Let's get straight to your questions.
Happy Tuesday to y'all. So, hey Stef, forget it, throw the idea out there.
Have you considered putting together a Molyneuvian meditations or proverbs of sorts? Uh, no.
No, that's, uh, you know, the greatest hits of a band happen when the band is not being creative anymore, right?
[0:31] The idea of a greatest hits is when they've run out of hits, right?
Then you know it's greatest hits. So I'm not doing greatest hits until I run out of ideas and I'm a long way away from running out of ideas.
So I think that would be a gravestone, you know, like there's that British comedian who on his gravestone said, see, I told you I was ill.
And so I'm not, I would no more more consider doing a greater sits than it would be of retiring because the two things are kind of the same if other people want to do it that's fine but whatever right greetings from finland welcome back good evening from a gym in krakow krakow sounds like where they're machine gunning bovines cooking on locals muscle tank molyneux well tank top yes muscle tank i don't know, I heard you have a debate coming up not for me, I would love for there to be a debate coming up but everyone's so bad at debating, I'm sorry it's just no fun it's just like when you have when you've blank slated your entire existence and you have built all of your ideas and arguments up from absolutely nothing you're literally undefeatable.
[1:49] You're literally undefeatable because everybody who hasn't gone through that process, which is to say just about everybody else, is lying to themselves about something or other.
They're lying to themselves about something or other.
It's probably a blistering 31 degrees Fahrenheit in Canada right now, so my neighborhood was, I think it felt like minus 19 degrees.
And you know when you're outside in Canada and you're going for a brisk walk and your balls sound like ice rink castanets.
Ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, wind chimes. No, that's just my testes.
It's not that they're bad, it's that you're too good. Well, I don't know that I'm too good.
I just, I refuse to lie to myself about anything as best I can, you know, as best I can.
And most people, I mean, just about everybody else who hasn't blank slated, which is to say just about everybody else lying to themselves about something or avoiding something.
[2:52] So, it's not particularly fun, not particularly interesting.
So, a little announcement here. So, we have, I'll tell you a bit of the story.
[3:07] I think it's a bit of a story.
So, way back in the day, I was between jobs.
And really, that's a very fun place to be. I don't know if you've ever been in the situation where you're between jobs, but it's pretty cool.
Between jobs is you've a job that's ending and then you have another job that is starting, but it's like a month away or a couple of weeks away.
And that's pretty fun. That's pretty fun.
Let me just see here. I want to make sure I got the right year.
I'm pretty sure I got the right year, but I remember this sort of very, very clearly. Yeah, August 2006.
So as you know, I started the podcast in a car with a long commute.
I started with just audio and then I moved, I put a little webcam on my dashboard and I did video.
This is back when YouTube would only allow you to upload a hundred megabyte video.
And this is back when it was, I always had the choice. I had 640 by 480, which was slightly jittery or 320 by 240, which which was smooth, but old blurry fish tank resolution.
[4:20] So, I had the job, and then what happened was I quit that job, and I was starting a new job, but I had a month off.
I had a month between jobs for a variety of reasons.
And a lot of people, of course, if they have a month between jobs, they view that as a sort of fun time where you can do all kinds of cool stuff around, I don't know, play some video games or all of that kind of stuff.
For me, it was like, wow, I have a month off.
I'm doing the introduction to philosophy because that was pretty concentrated work. book.
So I had one month and I did a 17 part introduction to philosophy that I don't know, I think is kind of legendary, or at least it will be, it will be over time because it's really the blank slate experience, starting from nothing, building your knowledge up from nothing so that you're absolutely certain about everything.
[5:13] And of course, you know, there are a lot of people who who don't go through that process. And I can't imagine why.
I can't imagine why. I don't know how human beings go through life not being certain about a goddamn thing.
I'm sorry for the rudeness. I'm sorry for the bluntness. How do you do it?
How do you go through life not being certain about anything, just building your castles on sand and just put, just jam a flag down into the ground and that's it, man. I'm jamming this flag.
And this is what I believe, and this is what it is, and it's, oh my God, what a nightmare to not be certain.
[5:53] Oh, oh God.
[5:56] How could this be? How could it be that people can stagger through life not being certain about anything? Doesn't it annoy you? Doesn't it undermine you? Doesn't it?
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
And yet most people.
[6:14] Most people, just about everyone, goes through life never being certain of anything.
I mean, I know that makes you an inverted pyramid, easy to push over, you're wobbly, you're easily pushed around, you're easily bullied, you're easily gaslit, but oh my God.
What a nightmare to go through life never knowing anything for certain.
I couldn't stand it.
Or being able to survive only because you You know some things for certain, but will never admit to yourself what you know for certain.
And you'll never admit to yourself what knowing that stuff for certain means about everything else that you claim to not know. Oh, gosh.
I actually get better when I lose debates with someone and, of course, when I listen to you. Yeah. Yeah.
[7:09] It's kind of unfair, right? Right. It's relatively unfair for me to debate people.
And of course, the other thing that's the case these days is that the way that you win debates is talking about forbidden topics, the Voldemort topics.
Right. And that's how losers end up pretending that they've won a debate is they may talk about certain topics, cancelable actions.
Actions and therefore they they win because there's things you you just don't want to talk about like i mean the the uh the brief era of free speech and twitter is uh pretty much over and you know it was it was sort of fun to watch while it lasted although the outcome was pretty uh was pretty foregone so yeah now they're well we've got a restrained hate speech and uh on topics and uh.
[8:03] So yeah, I put together the introduction to philosophy as a 17 or 19 part.
Anyway, so the reason I'm talking about that is because Jared the Magnificent has performed a full remastering of the audio.
[8:20] Now, I was technically a little bit of a noob back then, as everyone was who was doing this kind of stuff, and I recorded a whole bunch of it with the nightlight on the camera, so it's all, I'm just kind of gray and a bit of a cryptkeeper, but what's happening is the audio has been remastered, and the videos have also been to some degree remastered, and those, you don't need the videos for most of it, for the last couple you do, because a lot of visuals.
Is the pendulum of social wokeness inverting? No, no, no.
So the entirety of the modern world is to provide empirical evidence that is incontrovertible about the truth to the future.
Like that, that is the sole purpose of the modern world is to provide incontrovertible evidence to the future about what not to do.
That's where we're at, right? So, for instance, one of the arguments that I have constantly rebutted over the course of advocating for a stateless society, one of the arguments is, well, you see, without the government, how will you have national defense?
[9:29] Well, I don't need to tell you anything about what's happening now, but today serves, or the modern world serves as the creation of incontrovertible arguments against all of the nonsense that people believe.
[9:47] So yeah so we are going to release after this show the audio remastered cleaned up enhanced audio of this fairly legendary magnificent series on the introduction to, philosophy because it's some really fine stuff it's really fine stuff we have um We've got epistemology, truth, ethics, politics.
You've got the whole thing, right?
You should also check out show 392, 393, 394, 3,000, 92, 3,000, 93, 3,000, 94. Introduction to sexual market value.
Parts one, two, and three. Again, you can get all of these at fdrpodcast.com. We need the rant.
What am I, some sort of performing seal? deal.
Everybody, we need the rant. I don't see any tips yet, people.
And I rant for tips to some degree, unless I'm vastly stimulated by something that happened right ahead of time.
So yes, the introduction to philosophy, a serious remastered coming out this afternoon.
I hope that you will, you will check it out.
[11:05] I need, it's all about your needs. And I need, I need, I need, Aye, Mimi, aye.
Do you know if I let you guys get away without reciprocity, the amount of harm I would be doing to you?
Do you know what's funny? Like, if I was just like, oh, you want to rent?
Okay, I'll give you rent.
You know, like, if I let you get away without reciprocity, without the demands for reciprocity, do you know how much harm I would be doing to you? It would be staggering.
There would be no greater cruelty than me not asking for support, for donations, for like, share, subscribe, all that kind of stuff.
Like if I wasn't giving you that requirement for reciprocity, I would be teaching you everything that would be wrong and exploitive.
Strange but true, right?
[11:52] You can, of course, support at freedomain.com slash donate.
Freedomain.com slash donate. You can support there as well. Let me just...
All right.
[12:11] Do you use Rumble Studio? I've tried it. Yeah, I've tried it for sure.
[12:19] As I've said before, and I don't care if people get upset about it, if you only have two bucks, please don't donate.
Like, please. I feel absolutely terrible taking your last two dollars.
So please, please don't do that. If I could refund you, I would.
But please don't donate. If you're that poor, honestly, please keep your money.
Enjoy. Continue to enjoy the show and enjoy philosophy. But no, it's not good.
It's not good. It's important to know how you show up for other people.
And I just don't enjoy the idea that you're that broke and you're giving money to me. I don't like it. I think it's unpleasant.
I think it's difficult. And I would absolutely strongly urge and request you to not do that, please. Please, keep that money for bus fare so you can get a job so you can end up with more than two bucks.
That is really important to me. So please don't do that.
It's a negative experience for me and I don't appreciate it and I don't like it and it's negative all around.
So just keeping you posted about my honest and genuine experience.
All right, quick question, quick question.
Quick question.
[13:32] 1% of the population, right? 1% of the population is responsible for what percentage of violent crimes?
1% of the population is responsible for what percentage of violent crimes?
Interesting, interesting question. Interesting question.
[13:57] What is your thought? What is your guess?
No no that's very uninformed i'm afraid no so uh you guys are way high so one percent so one percent of the population is responsible for 63 percent of the violent crimes, So, if all violent crime careers came to a stop after a third conviction, more than 50% of all convictions for violent crime in the total population would be prevented.
[14:43] Also, did you know that medical developments since the 1960s have helped people survive assaults and violence?
And if those medical improvements had not occurred, in other words, if all the variables had stayed the same, murder rates would be up to five times higher now because people are surviving murders a lot more because of medical advances.
[15:11] So, just so you understand that like violent crime is almost certainly allowed to continue for a variety of reasons.
But as you can see from sort of El Salvador, which went from one of the most dangerous to one of the safest countries in the Western Hemisphere simply by locking up criminals, it's allowed.
And of course, when the Chinese came to visit California, they cleaned up all of the homeless people and got rid of all of the crime and the graffiti and all of that.
So, yeah, it's a very, very sad thing that it is allowed to continue for a variety of reasons, but it's not something that can't be fixed or solved.
[15:46] Yeah, principles follow the Pareto. Yeah, criminals follow the Pareto principle as well. Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely. Everything that is, almost everything that happens to you is allowed to happen to you in terms of the negatives.
So all right Stef is a machine too much productivity well i just did a really great the truth of you if you're a donor uh and you of course can freedomend.locals.com you can sign up, to support the show and you get like more free goodies than i could get to in in quite a while uh just a crazy amount of free goodies like maximum maximum benefit is being offered to people there as a thank you and as an incentive for subscribing but you also i just recorded this This morning, the truth about sadism, part four.
Ironically, the truth about sadism, part four, is just a little bit long.
Oh, it gets a little uncomfortable towards the end.
But that's, of course, I mean, the truth about sadism has to be uncomfortable.
That's just almost inevitable, right?
Jared asks, why don't I feel the anger against my parents?
[16:50] Why don't you feel the anger against your parents? I know they are evil and I have disdain for them. the lack of anger is strange to me. Why is it strange?
Why is it strange? Hit me with a why. If you have a problem, if you have a problem with getting angry with people, do you have a problem with anger, with getting angry at people?
It doesn't mean you have to get angry at people, anything like that. but do you, is that really Stefan Molyneux it is please come back to Ute sure I'll be right on that train to nowhere.
[17:41] All right.
Do you think that I am reasonably, I don't know what it means to be perfect, obviously, but you think I'm reasonably okay with assertiveness and anger?
Do you think, I'm not looking for praise here. I just want to know how much credibility I might be working from.
As far as assertiveness goes, if you sort of take, see me take our mainstream reporters on live TV and things like that, I'm certainly not perfect or any, by any stretch of the imagination.
Do you you think i'm reasonably okay in the expression of anger or assertiveness or whatever it is that you like if if if somebody is angering me in a call-in show i mean i think i speak it without being abusive i don't think i'm too angry i don't think i'm not angry enough and so okay so i have have some level of credibility when it comes to impatience.
Thank you, cats and dolls. I appreciate that.
You, uh, the world needs you. Uh, the world is doing a good job of hiding its need for me, but I appreciate you saying that.
And, uh, just, uh, it's, it's actually, you've now spelt my way, my name two or three different ways. It's just S T E F A N.
Um, so if the world needs me, maybe it can figure out how to spell my name.
It's just a thought, just a possibility. I'm I'm not offended.
I'm enraged. I'm not offended. Okay.
[19:04] So the question is, if you have reason to be angry, but you're not angry, of course, the question is why, but that's an obvious question.
So if you have, let's say you have a weight and the weight is being held up.
[19:25] Then something that is the opposite of weight must be holding it up.
So if you have an emotion that is just and fair and right, but you're not expressing it or maybe not even feeling it, it's because the opposite of that emotion is holding it back, right?
A balloon that you hold underwater, once, it's fine, don't worry about me spelling my name, I'm just putting it out.
So if you hold a balloon underwater, its natural impulse, obviously, is to pop up.
So if you're holding it down, it's because the buoyancy is being resisted by something else.
Did you see what I mean? If you have an emotion that should be expressed, but it's not being expressed, it's because the opposite of that emotion is blocking it.
Does this make sense? Just hit me with a why. I just want to make sure.
I don't want to over-explain. I don't want to under-explain.
This makes sense, right?
If there's a force acting in some direction and it's blocked, it's because there's some force acting in the other direction to hold it back. Does that make sense?
Okay. Now, the question isn't who.
The question is what? I have a very, very deep question here, and I'm not going to give you the answer too easily. I'm going to make you work for it, baby.
Like I never make my wife work for it. So, if you have the impulse to anger, but you don't even experience it, you don't express it, then there must be something that is the opposite of anger.
[20:52] That is is holding your anger back or down.
So, what is the opposite of anger? What is the antidote to anger?
What is the cock block to anger?
What is the opposite of anger?
[21:09] It's an important question, right?
It's an important question.
What is the opposite of anger? Because if you don't know what that is, you don't know what's in the way between your anger and its expression.
The opposite of anger, joy, nope.
[21:29] No, no, I didn't ask what the... Listen, what is the opposite of anger?
What is the force that blocks anger?
Resentment, nope. That's another form of anger. Anxiety, nope.
Nope. If you're anxious, you can get angry.
Love, acceptance, fear, suppression.
Suppression, no, that's just, that's not an emotion. Fear is not the opposite of anger.
It's called the fight or flight mechanism. Both fear and anger are activated by the same mechanisms.
Not fear. Someone, have you ever seen, have you ever been startled by someone and then you get angry?
So fear leads you to the anger. Somebody goes, boo, and you're like, hey, what are you you doing, right? So you get mad.
You've seen these videos, these scare cams, right? Somebody scares and somebody punches, right?
Sadness? Nope. Appeasement? Nope.
Obsequiousness? Not really an anger. Sorry, that's not really an emotion. Calmness? Nope.
No, because if you're calm, and then something happens to make you angry, the calmness does not block your anger, does it?
What is the opposite why what is pushing back against your anger it is tough right it is tough what is the opposite of anger there's a reason it's tough it's not an accident that it's tough we're all programmed this way.
[22:54] Disgust, no, we can get angry if somebody, imagine somebody pushes a bowl, drops a bowl of maggots in your lap, you'd feel disgust and anger, the disgust would not block your anger, anxiety does not block your anger, because if somebody makes you anxious, that's going to make you angry to get rid of that anxiety self-pity, no, shame, no, if somebody shames you, you get Get angry at them, right? Somebody humiliates you, shames you.
Humor, that's not a feeling. Indifference, no.
Dissociation, no, that's not a feeling. That's the absence of feeling.
Apathy?
[23:42] All right.
All right.
Slave mentality, fear of authority.
Now, fear is not the opposite. No, love is not the opposite of anger.
Because if you love someone and someone scares them, you're angry at the person, love leads to the anger at the person who scares them or who attacks them.
So love leads to the anger.
Indifference is not an emotion. It's the absence of emotion.
Pity. Pity, I don't really know what that means. No, not love, not fear.
Let me make the case. I'm not claiming any final answers here.
Let me make the case, and you can tell me if I'm full of shite.
No, pity is not the opposite.
No, because look, let's say you see someone kick a kitten.
You feel pity for the kitten. The pity for the kitten doesn't interfere with the anger at the person who kicked the kitten, does it?
Oh, I don't know. It's probably too early in the day. Well, not for the Europeans.
To change your life? Should I change your life before the sun has even gone down?
Can I change your life before the sun goes down?
[24:58] Don't get angry if we say full of shite. No, listen, if I'm wrong, you guys make the case.
I mean, we're all exploring here together, right? I mean, I'm not, I'm no oracle here. I'm just going to make the case.
Let me just go check over on the rumble what is the opposite of emotion the opposite of emotion is suppression.
[25:25] Thank you for the tips, Lago. I appreciate that. Just before I get to that, I do want to show my deep appreciation by taking my shirt off.
Because, you know, I'm a little pumped from the workout and my protein cocaine.
Just drink. Just drink. Just the protein powder.
[25:46] We've named about 40% of the emotions available, I think. Also, it's 23, 28 here in Finland.
Sun has been down for about six or seven hours already, I think.
Finish, finish the summer yes please, it is night time here alright, ok, so let me make the case let me make the case, so to ask what is the opposite of anger you must first ask what is the purpose of anger, why do we have anger right, because if there's a purpose to anger, then whatever blunts or opposes that purpose will also blunt or oppose anger doesn't make sense, right, so what is the purpose of anger So, the purpose of anger is to protect you and fight back against damage or danger.
To get shit done. No, that's the purpose of laxatives.
So, the purpose of anger is to protect you from danger or harm.
[26:55] That's why we get angry, right? It could be self-defense, but it could also be preemptive.
It could also be preemptive because anger is not the same as violence.
So if somebody is completely messing with you, even if they're not violating the non-aggression principle, somebody's really messing with you, then you would get angry at them and I guess you're protecting yourself in a way, but it's not an immediacy of self-defense.
And it could be to help you fight, but generally, in the modern world at least, It's not to get you to fight. It's to get you to maneuver.
It's to get you to plot. It's to get you to plan to win, To get you to plan to win.
[27:38] I'll give you a minor example. So people who are conservatives who are pro-Trump were angry at Alec Baldwin, right?
They were angry at Alec Baldwin over the Rust shooting incident, right?
So they were angry at Alec Baldwin as a whole for his general left retardation and for his mocking of Trump on Saturday Night Live.
And so they were angry at Alec Baldwin.
And, of course, people on the right tend to know how to handle guns, and they tend to know the gun safety and so on.
And so when Alec Baldwin ended up shooting two people, I think killed one and injured another, did they rush to Alec Baldwin's defense?
They did not, right? They did not. And to my credit, it was a couple of years ago that Alec Baldwin shot these people.
And I said, in my view, it was a criminal act and he has now been charged again and is facing up to 18 months in prison. Now, again, how this plays out, we can all be as cynical as we want.
But so conservatives or the pro-Trump people were angry at Alec Baldwin.
When Alec Baldwin got into trouble, they spoke out against him.
They did not provide any defenses.
They spoke out against him. So that's an example of them being angry.
[28:57] And were they beating him up? Nope. Were they attacking him?
[29:00] Nope. Were they, you know, planting obscene material on his computer? No.
They simply did not work to defend him and worked to attack him.
So that's an example of anger. It's not violent, right?
It's not violent at all, but it's quite powerful.
Let me just refresh here. I'm not sure if I'm getting the latest updates.
We've got a chatty bunch of people here.
[29:31] Yes. Okay. So does this all make sense? Hit me with a why. I'm not trying to be annoying. I just want to make sure that I'm not going too fast or too slow.
This pillow, as Goldilocks says, is just right. Are we all down with this as a whole?
Am I getting my responses? Yes, I think so.
So yeah, there's an example of anger and you, in a sense, you're plotting or you're not stepping stepping in to defend, but you're pointing out all of the worst aspects of what happened.
So, anger is there to protect you from attack, danger, undermining, from that which acts against your interests.
Now, just anger is that which acts, which protects you against opposition to your legitimate interests.
Unjust anger is when it's there to protect you against your illegitimate of interest.
So, if you are a thief, and you're stealing from a bank, and the security guard catches you, you're enraged at the security guard, you're angry, it was what happened, because your unjust desire to steal, right?
Remember, it's the bank's job to steal from the population, it's not the job of robbers to steal from the bank, so.
[30:50] If anger exists to protect you, then the opposite of anger would be an emotion that tells you protection is impossible or protection is dangerous.
[31:13] If anger exists to protect you, and you don't feel anger, it's because you feel the opposite of anger, or the opposite of anger is blocking you, and that must be an emotion that tells you that protection is impossible and or dangerous.
There you go. Jared got it. Despair. Despair is the opposite of anger.
Despair is when you recognize that anger is either futile or suicidal.
Despair is what kicks in to protect you from the consequences of your just anger. anger.
[32:00] Despair is what kicks in when you believe that anger is either a waste of energy or an invitation for further destruction.
So if anger is there to protect you from destruction, but your anger is going to draw on more destruction, then your system will summon despair despair to stop you from being angry.
Because if anger is there to protect you from danger, but getting angry will put you in more danger, then the opposite of anger must be achieved.
And the opposite of anger is despair.
Despair is telling you that the anger is going to do more harm than good. Does this make sense?
Despair is the emotion that is put on to quench the fires of anger.
It's summoned to quench the fire of anger because, your anger is going to destroy you.
[33:05] So, the analogy, an analogy is not proof, just illustration, right?
The analogy is, I want you to picture that you are in a campfire, you got your tents all around, it's cold, it's so cold, you got to build a fire.
But then the wind is blowing the fire and the sparks and the embers into your tent, right?
So, you have to put out the fire because the fire that's supposed to keep you warm is actually going to burn your tents down and you could freeze to death.
So you must put out the fire because the fire is no longer helping you by warming you, it's endangering you by burning down your tents.
That's the analogy. Despair is a kind of trade-off. No.
No, it's not a trade-off. Despair is quenching anger because the anger, instead of keeping you safe, is putting you in more danger.
Zim says, I'm all too familiar with feeling despair and anger.
This is hitting me very hard.
Despair is the opposite of anger because despair shuts down the anger when the anger becomes suicidal.
[34:27] Despair arises from the belief that you can't win.
Does this mean you can't experience anger and despair at the same time? What the hell?
What's with this binary view of emotions? I don't understand that.
If your fire is about to burn down your campsite and your tents to keep you warm in sub-zero temperatures temperatures and you have you you have to put the fire out are you saying you can't feel, a desire to keep the fire going and a desire to put the fire out at the same time of course you can i don't know there's no.
[35:16] Well, it's either this feeling or it's that feeling. It's like, what? You're not a robot. It's not binary. Feelings are an ecosystem.
Are you saying that a hyena cannot be both predator and prey at the same time?
Of course a hyena can be both predator and prey at the same time.
If it's hunting a mouse and being hunted by a lion, it's predator and prey.
You said opposite, so I assumed binary.
Why is opposite binary?
[35:46] I mean, while you're putting the fire out, the fire is diminishing, but still burning.
So, here's, do me a favor. When I'm explaining something complicated, I've got a suggestion.
I'm a little angry. How about you just listen? It's just a radical thought.
How about you just listen and try to absorb what I'm saying rather than put your own two cents in and distract everyone with your comments?
God just try opening your heart open your mind, absorb something that doesn't mean I'm right, but understand what I'm saying before you push back with your own wildly incorrect interpretations, I've literally been talking about this for what seven minutes, it's one of the most complicated things around and you're like, well I assumed this, how about you stop assuming and just listen, oh my god do you not have the security of knowing that if you listen and disagree you'll be fine I'll be fine you might listen I might be totally wrong but just listen you have to have enough trust in yourself to know that you can listen even to the worst ideas and not be infected, ah ah.
[37:05] Don't assume. Just listen. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't jump to your wrong assumptions.
Just listen. I'm begging you. This is not about me.
In your life, can you just listen to people?
Can you just listen to people? Absorb what they're saying and then figure out if you agree or disagree after a while.
You know, if somebody's starting to teach me vector calculus, four minutes in, do I assume what they're talking about? Do I assume, well, I assume this symbol meant this.
I'm like you're five minutes into listening about vector calculus, what on earth are you doing going off on tangents of your own invention God, well I assumed the opposite of what you were saying, stop assuming just listen, just listen understand what I'm saying and then you can pick it apart, but don't pick it apart before you understand what I'm saying saying, that's just interfering with the transmission of knowledge out of a kind of narcissism.
Well, I'm going to just interpret your words and I'm going to respond to you as if my interpretations are what you're saying.
You know, if you want to just misinterpret what I'm saying, just go into a corner and argue with yourself.
[38:22] Distracting everyone with this nonsense. I'm saying this because I want you to go through the experience of actually listening to people.
Actually listening to people is the most incredible thing. I mean, really, it's 80% of what I do in call-in shows is just listen like hell.
I just listen, listen, listen.
I don't jump to conclusions. I don't reinterpret what people are saying.
I'm just asking questions, absorbing, getting information, getting facts, getting everything.
I just listen. And you understand that one of the reasons that I can help people is because I shut up and listen.
I'm not jumping in to show how smart I am. I'm not jumping in to reinterpret.
I'm not jumping in for my own agenda.
I'm just shutting up and listening, opening my heart, opening my mind, and just listening. And you got a two and a half hour call and show.
I might spend the first hour and 45 minutes mostly asking questions and just Just listening.
Because if you can't listen, you're not safe. If you can't listen, you can't love. You can't be loved.
It's incredibly alienating and off-putting to any reasonable person.
If when you're explaining something complicated, you go off on your tangents and drag them off in some other direction.
[39:40] Somebody assuming before understanding drives me nuts. well you said this so I assumed that as if that's a reason or a justification it's like it's not.
[39:53] Just shut up and listen that's all just shut up and listen, and then if I'm wrong tell me that's fine but you gotta understand what I'm saying before you disagree with me right understand what I'm saying before you disagree with me that's all I'm trying to get through something really complicated here hey look at that but you know you did actually a good service because you're showing me being angry.
[40:15] In hopefully a healthy and productive way. So, you know, maybe.
Maybe. All right. What was the original question?
Everybody remember the, whatever get off of this topic for. What was the original question?
Why am I not angry at my parents?
Why am I not angry at my parents? But now we know.
So, Jared, why are you not angry at your parents, even though they're bad people, as you say, right? Why are you not angry?
According to this, well, conjecture. Maybe it's right, maybe it's wrong.
I think it's right. We'll figure it out over time.
Why are you not angry at your parents? Why were you not angry at your teachers?
Why were you not angry at the injustices in the world?
[41:23] Why?
Why?
Somebody says, Stef, you're making sense, but we don't know much about emotions.
You know what else is annoying is people who say we when they mean I.
How sad is that? That you don't even think you can be listened to unless you're a union representative for a whole bunch of shadowy imaginary friends?
Aragorn can't win the Battle of Helm's Deep, but if he brings all of his undead friends, he's got a shot.
Well, nobody's going to listen to me, but if I pretend I'm standing in front of a thousand mysterious invisible friends, then people will listen, right?
[42:18] Jared says, I have to spare that anger. would just bring more harm.
Everyone was colluding to harm me because being angry at them or expressing it would be futile slash dangerous.
[42:36] Well, I'm trying to help you all figure out your emotions.
So in general what happens when we criticize our teachers what happens when we criticize our parents what happens when we criticize our priests what happens when we criticize size, our authority figures.
Tim's doing the tangent as well. I remember the show where you said you were angry with your mom because you wanted to stay close to her in a way.
It's not our topic, Tim. It's not our topic. Stay with me, people. Stay with me.
I'm not saying don't type, but just listen, that's all.
Jared says, my dreams for the past three nights have been every section of society I knew that would have destroyed me for opposing my parents. Right.
So what happens, I just did sadism in school, right?
Part four of the truth about sadism is sadism in school.
Sadism in school.
[43:52] So what happens? Your teacher says, well, you shouldn't use violence to get what you want. And you say, well, wait a minute.
Don't you rely on the power of the state to get your income, to force us to come here and to get your health benefits and pension?
I mean, you're using force to get what you want. I'm not sure what you're saying.
[44:08] Well, people voted for it. Well, voting doesn't matter, right?
I mean, if a bunch of my friends and I vote to take away some smaller kid's lunch money, there's three of us and one of him.
Does that mean the voting is the majority means? right what happens if you just point out these basic truths right if they say oh everyone's going to die from climate change and you say okay um what percentage of the atmosphere is co2 and what percentage of the atmosphere is our country's contribution to that co2 and uh explain why temperatures are changing on jupiter people need a lot of love did they leave a lot of suvs running running on Jupiter.
I just, you know, if you have curiosity about that, which is considered both moral and absolute, right?
You get attacked.
You get attacked, you get humiliated, you get shamed. So it used to be that the teachers would hit you, right? When I was a kid, you got hit by teachers, right?
I got caned in boarding school and so on. And when I was a kid, you get hit by teachers, but then they realized what they did was united the children against the teachers.
So what they They did instead was they teachers would mock a child for attack by others, other children, right?
And that way you get the children to fight amongst themselves.
They don't gang up against the teacher.
Bullying is the corporal punishment of modern schools. schools.
[45:30] So can you, can you criticize your authority figures when you were growing up for the most part?
[45:56] So you're angry at being lied to. You're angry at the hypocrisy.
You know, I still remember, the my body, my choice stuff rippling through my high school.
And my friends and I were like, well, we're not here by choice. We're forced to be here.
Our parents are forced to pay. We're forced to be here. My body, my choice. Are you insane? How about my body, my choice? My mind, my choice.
So you point this out.
You say to women, oh, my body, my choice. Well, you obviously want to ban circumcision then.
My body, my choice.
So my tax is my choice. My money, my choice. So we have to get rid of the welfare state because that's interfering.
All right, so you just point these things out. And what do people do?
They just get angry. They just escalate.
They just try to get your deep platform to attack or lose your income come or go for your reputation. Like all this stuff, right?
[47:06] The Supreme Court of Canada has just ruled that Justin Trudeau's invocation of the Emergencies Act during the Trucker Convoy protest two years ago was unconstitutional.
Unconstitutional. Which is a violation of the most most foundational legal norms of Canada and an abuse of power.
Anything going to happen? No.
Epstein logs are coming out. Anything going to happen?
Nope.
[47:59] I want you to think of two dogs.
The big dog is challenged by the smaller dog for leadership.
The smaller dog runs at and attacks the larger dog, but the larger dog wins, and stomps on the smaller dog.
And the smaller dog, going from anger at wanting to, overthrow the authority of the larger dog, but the larger dog wins.
And the smaller dog's anger is replaced with what?
Is replaced with what?
[48:58] What does the smaller dog do?
Despair. The smaller dog bears its necks and says, I submit. I submit.
In other words, the smaller dog despairs of winning and therefore submits.
So the anger of the smaller dog is replaced by despair, because if the dog continues to fight, what happens to the smaller dog if it continues to bite and snap and fight?
What happens to the smaller dog if it does not experience despair?
[49:33] What is the despair designed to do?
To keep the smaller dog from being what?
From being killed.
From being killed. So when I was a kid, I don't know, you can hit me with a why if this is still the case, right?
So when I was a kid, the big bullies would attack the smaller children and they would twist their arm behind or they'd choke them or they'd twist their ankles or they'd give them Chinese burns until the smaller child said what?
What was the word that the smaller child would say as a mark of submission, in other words, as a recognition that the fight could not be won by the smaller child?
What would the smaller child have to say in order to stop the torture?
Uncle, that's right, uncle. You'd say uncle, and it would be like, okay. Okay, then the fight stops, right?
Because you can't win. So uncle is a recognition that you can't win.
I give, yeah, I give was another one. I give, it wasn't the case in England, but yeah, I give. I give.
[50:56] Uncle, yeah.
So the anger is replaced by despair, And the despair is, I must submit, otherwise I could risk real physical injury. I could risk injury or death.
Because I don't know how far the escalation could go. And of course, the injury or death could occur largely by accident. But yeah, mercy could be another one. I submit, right?
It's the white flag. It's the surrender. I submit. I surrender. You win.
Yeah, I don't think uncle is as big anymore, but it certainly was the case when I was a kid.
Now to my credit to my credit how many times as a child did I say uncle, how many times as a child did I say uncle.
[51:49] If you had to guess, yeah never nope not once not once the injury to the body generally is temporary the injury to the soul seems kind of permanent i mean my brother slugged me across the face and like my jaw just was hung loose on my face and wouldn't say it i wouldn't do it i wouldn't do it, yeah never well listen i mean outside the home i barely got bullied i can think of two incidents that I've talked about before, really, though.
But that was about it. I mean, I really didn't. I really didn't get bullied.
[52:33] No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it.
I've been choked unconscious, but never gave on purpose. Now, look, I'm not saying this is wise.
I'm not saying this is wise at all.
Somebody says, there is no yielding under the Amtel rule. Only death is the test of it. I don't know what the Amtel rule is.
I also love when people come up with obscure stuff, and it's like, well, according to this, or, you know, people, have you ever read Alberto Flippity-Jibbit?
Because, you know, what do you think of Alberto Flippity-Jibbit?
It's like, I don't know, right?
My mom didn't do an uncle thing. Now the bullying, I said outside of the home, like outside of the home.
And I never said uncle to my mom either. Like I never submitted.
Well, I should say when she was beating my head against the door, when I was three or four years old, I went limp, which I guess is a kind of submission, but I didn't, I didn't do the uncle thing.
But again, I mean, I wasn't being sort of physically tortured.
I mean, I'm sure I would have. So this is no big pride of mine.
It's certainly not recommended behavior.
You do what you need to do to survive. But you know, when I was in Hong Kong.
You know, I'll face down the tear gas, I'll face down the sprays, I'll face down the riot police, but then when the tanks come, I'm out of there.
Because I have no hope of winning against that, right?
[53:54] Right? I mean, that tank guy in Tiananmen Square, he's not punching the tanks, he's just standing there, which is incredibly brave, and I'm not trying to take away anything that he did. In fact, I'm adding to it.
Me neither if i submitted the bullying would have escalated then they know where to aim next time yeah no i didn't uh i i didn't like the idea of submitting to that and um i also didn't hang out in any real circles where i would encounter bullies on any kind of regular basis not a lot of bullies in the computer lab not a lot of bullies when we were designing the yearbook yeah fools fools rush in where angels fear to tread yeah yeah i mean i think you need the the balance or whatever, right? So why aren't you angry at your parents?
[54:40] Huh, this is very applicable information. I don't remember ever giving in. I can feel anger.
D-H, not so much. Oh, dear husband. Dear husband, not so much. Right.
Well, is your husband allowed to get angry at you? Because maybe you're part of the reason why he doesn't feel anger, my friend.
It's possible. I'm not saying it is. It's possible. Possible.
All right, hit me. I don't want to overuse the topic. There's more to talk about.
But hit me with a why. If you find this helpful, you want me to continue.
If you want me to move on to something else or answer other questions, hit me with an N.
We're not done on this topic, but I want to make sure it's applicable to people because we've spent some time on it now.
What do we got? What do we got?
Yes times two, we got a no. It's really interesting.
I visited Tiananmen Square when I went to gosh I went almost I spent almost a month in China in the year 2000 for business to close deals and negotiate, and all of that it was really something alright.
[56:04] So what does despair tell you to do in a relationship?
This has been one of the most important discussions I've heard from you, for me personally, so yes, please.
All right. So what is the purpose of despair? So the purpose of anger is to protect you from risk, danger, things that harm your interests.
So what is the purpose of despair?
Now, of course, the purpose of despair is to block your anger to do what?
Obviously, to get you to survive in the moment, but what is the purpose of despair?
What is despair telling you about the relationship?
Appease? Yes, absolutely, in the moment, right? Lie and manipulate?
No, no. If you're being aggressed against violently, then you don't focus on the lying and the manipulation, right?
If someone's kidnapped and they lie about how much money their family has in the hopes of getting released, you don't say, oh, you're a liar, right? I mean, the kidnapping is more important, right?
So what is despair telling you about your relationship it means you have to give up hope that things will change so you leave you plan to pull away it's unwinnable yeah.
[57:19] That the relationship is impossible because once somebody aggresses against you to the point where you have to cry uncle there's no you in the relationship the only way to be in around that that person is to dissociate, to not be there, to be the opposite of who you are.
That you cannot be in a relationship with this person.
Right? I'm sure we've all had, I know I have, right? I'm sure we've all had someone we care about, someone we love, who has annoyed us or angered us, and we say, I'm angry at what you did, I'm annoyed at what you did, they say it back to us, and we say that so we can fix it.
So we can fix it.
[58:01] Well this is really clicking some pieces together damn yeah i'm yep you can't win what does despair say despair is you can't win, so what do you do funny game the only way to win is not to play what do you do what do you do when you can't win when you can't win what do you do you start playing, despair is this is what happens when you switch from fight to flight do you follow.
[58:44] When you have to switch from fight to flight, despair deactivates your fight.
We've all seen this scene in a movie where the hero or some guy is, oh, there's a guy who wants to fight you, and you're like, okay, great, right?
And then 50 other guys come over the hill.
And assuming it's not a kung fu film, what do you do? You run away.
I can fight one guy. I can't fight 50 guys. So you go from anger and getting ready to fight.
Your despair says you can't win against 50 guys. So now it's time to run. It's time to run.
I thought anger would instigate flight since flight could mean more unavoidable damage.
Anger would instigate... Oh, Michelle, love you dearly. That is a very girly response.
Love you dearly. I appreciate you being here. I love all the women who are part of the conversation. but if you think that anger instigates flight you're beautifully female.
[59:51] You're beautifully female, for men anger is so you can fight, but you got a tipping point what's my chances of victory if you have a reasonable chance of victory and you don't fight you're a coward it.
If you can't win, but you still fight, you're a fool.
Yeah, why would you flight if you can win? Why would you flee if you could win?
So Sam, we all have this tipping point, right? Dungeons and Dragons is like teaching you all of these risk tipping points, right?
There's the armor class. I have this many hit points. Here's my to hit armor class.
Here's my sword. Here's my extra damage. Here's my spells. Can I win? Can I win? Can I win?
[1:00:42] So when you're threatened, you get an evaluation.
If you can win, you fight. If you start to fight and let's say there's some guy who's messing with you and he's kind of small and scrawny and you're like, I can take this guy and you start to fight him. Maybe he pushes you or like it's self-defense or whatever.
And you fight him and then he pulls out his nunchucks and makes these weird cat noises and does three triple flips or whatever it is. is like, okay, well, maybe this black belt guy is a little... Then you leave, right?
Thank you, C2 Spark. Great wisdom here. There is great wisdom here. I think. I hope. I hope.
Frankly, I never saw a woman angry and running away.
Well, how could you tell? You'd just see her butt.
Yeah, resist the urge to tangent, right? Because we're just talking about the mechanics.
It's important for you to understand that your emotions are trying to help your sorry ass, just as they're trying to help my sorry ass.
They're trying to have you not lose where you could win, but not fight where you can't win.
[1:02:02] But enough about me and politics.
Doesn't despair over loss lead to anger and revenge? No. No, Michal, it does not.
But despair over loss is when the loss cannot be fought or redeemed.
Anger and revenge occur when there's a possibility of winning.
[1:02:42] Despair tells you it's time to switch, from fight to flight.
Despair is, I can't win.
Now, of course, you can't fly from school, you can't fly from parents, You can't fly from authority figures as a child.
So the despair says, we can't fight. We can't flee.
We better feel nothing.
Anger will just cause escalation of the aggression against us.
Fleeing puts us in more danger because God knows what's out there.
Living on the streets. Good luck with that, kid.
No fight. No flight. Great danger.
Snuff out the feels, snuff out the feels it's like if you experience overwhelming pain to just pass out if there's nothing you can do about it you're being tortured or something right tied down and tortured.
[1:03:53] Why don't you feel anger against your parents if they were immoral or abusive because you can't win and you can't leave?
So the only way to survive is to feel nothing.
[1:04:18] Stef, to be fair, you are looking kind of tough today. Oh, this little white thing? Oh, please.
Stef has never read Dune. God, I hate that story.
I started reading it. I think I started reading a sequel, found them just boring and repulsive, and then I saw the original Kai McLachlan sting movie, and I was like, this is really gross and repulsive.
And an early Captain Picard. And I was like, no, this is a really, really gross story.
Maybe I'll watch it or read it at one point. But no, I just found it really repulsive.
Makes me think about my life as a kid. Stefan, nice to hear you again.
It's nice to hear you again, Stef. It's been a while. Nice to have you back. Welcome back.
Welcome back.
Feel nothing. What about passive-aggressive behavior? But the passive-aggressive behavior doesn't occur usually against the people who are violent, who can do you some real damage.
The passive-aggressive behavior is your frustration leaking out against those weaker than you, that you can goad and taunt and all of this, right?
[1:05:44] And passive aggression is not much of a feeling i mean it is it's it's frustration that you can't experience and change and so you generate frustration in other people so that you can reject their frustration and thereby avoid your own right so you you create some situation where, like like the typical example of course is the woman who's frustrated and annoyed and and and paralyzed, and then her boyfriend says, well, where do you want to eat?
Oh, I'm happy wherever you want to go. Oh, let's go to X. No, I don't feel like that. Oh, okay.
Oh, how about we go to Y? No, no, just tell me. No, no, no, I'm happy, like, wherever you want to go. Just not those two.
Oh, well, how about Z? No, gosh, no, no, I had a really bad experience there.
Okay, right, so she's frustrated.
She can't experience her own frustration, so she generates frustration in her boyfriend so that she can reject his frustration and thus stay distant from her own.
And also she's trying in a bizarre way to generate empathy within her boyfriend by having him experience her emotional state.
Yes, J-Man makes you think about your life as a kid. That's part of what it's about.
[1:07:05] I've experienced that despair and was paralyzed until I could flee, yeah.
The other thing, of course, that women will do, which is a little bit more aggressive, is they will say, oh, you know, just for my birthday, whatever you want.
Just get whatever you want.
Whatever you think I want, it's fine. No, no, no, give me some idea of what it is that you're looking for. And it's like, no, no, no, whatever.
And then whatever you get for it doesn't work. You know, this kind of stuff, right?
All those impossible situations. you look at some woman who's very attractive and your girlfriend says, oh, she's very pretty, isn't she? She's a great figure.
Danger, danger, right? Can't win.
[1:07:50] Teachers who demand respect. I just did a whole bit in The Truth About Sadism Part 4 about how credentialism breeds sadism. Credentialism breeds sadism.
The basic argument is, who is a teacher?
A teacher is defined by what? A teacher is defined by people who want to learn from him.
People who want to learn from him. Then you're a teacher.
No, no, no. Now these days, teacher is, you've jumped through some hoops and a bureaucrat gives you a piece of paper.
[1:08:28] Ha ha ha. We'll get to that, Chatterman. We'll get to that. Louder milk.
So credentialism says, I'm a teacher because I jumped through some hoops, spouted off some NPC talk and got a piece of paper. So I'm a teacher.
And therefore, I should gain all the respect as if people actually wanted to learn from me.
And so because you believe that you're a teacher, but you haven't actually developed the skills wherein people want to learn, done. People don't pay attention to you.
The kids don't pay attention to you. They don't respect you.
They're on their phones. They're passing notes.
And you just get angry and yell at them and bully them. So credentialism leads to sadism.
[1:09:13] Love you, Sir Cheterman. Great to have you here. Don't love the comment.
How would despair differ from hopelessness?
Oh please please i can't hear you over your fedora echo, i've given you a massive framework within within within which not to understand your life but the life of your parents the life of your fellow students the life of your siblings, the life in politics i've given you this massive paradigm to understand things and you're like well i want to split hairs over things that seem to be mostly a synonym but aren't maybe aren't quite.
God!
[1:10:00] Here's a synonym, but how are they different?
Well, look, that's fine. Brain is struggling. I get this is tough stuff.
I've worked on this stuff for years in my head and in my life, so I get i have a certain amount of facility from it but just trying to drag it's funny you know like.
[1:10:25] I give you guys five tons of gold, and then some of you are like, oh, I've had this piece of this tiny little scrap of yellow metal.
Is it pyrite, or is it fool's gold?
It's like, do you not notice the five tons of gold? Like, just out of curiosity, any thanks for the five tons of gold?
Oh, dear.
It's a good thing I don't actually survive on gratitude.
And it's free.
Well, it's not free for me because to do this stuff I had to give up my whole reputation, my career. It's not free for me.
I mean, you could say thanks. I now feel myself trying to come up with an answer to dispel the despair instead of accepting that emotion first.
Thank you for the five tons of gold. You're like the El Dorado of philosophy.
Thank you. I appreciate that. That's nice. I see. I thought they were similar and I wanted some confirmation.
No, you're just distracting yourself from what I'm saying. You're nitpicking in your own head to distract yourself from what I'm saying.
[1:11:52] Now your despair isn't always right emotions aren't always right because remember our emotions were developed for an environment that barely changed for 150 000 years like in the sort of primitive evolution of our species the hunter gatherers and the early farmers farming is like like 10, 15,000 years old.
So the hunter-gatherers, no opportunities, no choices, no culture, no options, couldn't choose your own tribe, couldn't move away, couldn't develop your own thoughts, got ostracized for any signs of disobedience.
So our emotions are developed, for the opposite environment of what we're capable of, of what's possible for us.
It's, you know, like, we're drawn for sweet, bright-colored things because that has us pursue fruit and get fruit, which wards off scurvy and things like that and fruit.
So, but now we've got rows of candy bars in the drugstore, right?
Which is appropriate because sugar is a kind of drug in my opinion, right?
So your emotions aren't absolutes. They're just part of the negotiation of who you are.
Your emotions can be very accurate at figuring out threat, but despair kicked in and numbness kicked in because for 99.9% of human history, We could do sweet frack all about where we were, the tribe we were in, our possibilities or opportunities. We could do nothing.
[1:13:21] But now we can.
Now we can change our minds, our jobs, our social circle, our countries.
We can swap our bad families of origin for good current families or friends or no one.
We can live alone. We can live in a commune. We can live with family.
We can choose our companions.
Like this embarrassment of riches of choice is not at all what our emotions are.
Were developed for. Our emotions were developed for the Groundhog Day of primitive primal repetition with no chance of getting out or getting away.
So your despair, might not be, right, but it sure as heck needs to be listened to.
Because it could be, and even if it's wrong, it's important to know.
[1:14:28] Passive aggressive jungles. Jake says, passive aggressive people actually get to me. They are very annoying.
[1:14:39] See, the solution to passive aggression is open aggression.
[1:14:48] Because you know how it goes with passive aggressive people.
They'll needle you. They'll kind of smilingly insult you.
They'll put you down in, quote, positive ways.
And then what happens? you say hey what you're doing is kind of crappy hey you just don't have a sense of humor they just frustrate you right and you say no what you're doing is kind of shitty i don't like it i don't appreciate it i don't it's wrong it's not right oh don't be so sensitive blah blah blah blah it's like no this is how i feel deal with it oh don't deal with it but this is how i feel, you can't shame me into not having my emotions right i'm not gonna accept your shame i think what you're doing is very aggressive and very nasty that's my experience oh don't be ridiculous blah, blah, blah.
No, see, now I'm calling you out on being aggressive or passive aggressive, and you're just calling me ridiculous. You're just confirming my thesis, right?
Somebody who wasn't passive aggressive, if I said something that offended someone I cared about, and they said what you said was kind of crappy, I'd be like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, tell me more.
And I wouldn't just immediately, like the moment somebody immediately gaslights you, they're just confirming the passive aggression.
The moment they just tell you that you're wrong and you're incorrect and how could you be so crazy? They'd absolutely, it's like everything you're saying It's just confirming that you're passive-aggressive. That's really sad.
That's really sad. And most people, of course, will never, ever, ever, call you on it. They won't call you on it.
[1:16:10] They won't call you on it.
So this is your one chance in life to recognize that maybe you're doing crappy stuff and actually deal with it.
Or you can just wish me away and then go back to your normal crappy behavior.
[1:16:26] This is mind-blowing. Good. How can you manage your despair in a world where accountability doesn't exist?
What do you mean by accountability doesn't exist? Accountability is a concept. Concepts don't exist.
Are you saying nobody has ever held accountable for anything? Of course they are.
I mean, I held my parents accountable.
Ah, but they never admitted fault. Who cares? That's not within your control.
The only thing that's within your control is who you spend time with and who you give your resources to.
That's all you have. You can't control other people. You can't make them do anything. You can't stop them from doing anything.
All you have control over is yourself.
And you, if you're virtuous, and I believe everyone here is, is you are a great treasure that people should be honored and damn well lucky to be around.
And if you withhold the treasure of who you are from people who treat you badly, you are holding them accountable.
[1:17:45] I wish I could be as confident as you. Anytime I try to confront someone, I start crying.
Anytime I try to confront someone, I start crying.
That's because you're not processing your tears from where it was suicidal to confront someone.
You had a very abusive parent, I would assume, or an abusive authority figure, and to confront them would have been absolutely disastrous, suicidal.
Suicidal so your tears are like i'm going to confront you but at the same time i'm going to sink signal rank submission because you haven't processed the feelings of humiliation and bullying control and abuse i believe that would have happened to produce those emotions, anytime i try to confront someone i start crying because you haven't in my view i don't know you haven't processed the emotions that the tears were trying to help you with, Despair might be right for now, says Jared. It can be a signal to grow stronger and surround myself with trustworthy friends.
[1:19:02] Despair is the emotional manifestation of the concept called impossibility.
Despair is the emotional manifestation of the judgment or evaluation called it's freaking impossible it can't be done it can't be fixed they won't change they won't listen they won't self-reflect they have no third eye they have no observing ego they have no conscience they can't can't be fixed.
[1:19:41] Your will has no power in the face of people without a conscience.
Your morality has no power in the face of people who are committed to amorality or immorality. Your truth has no power in the face of relativism.
Your absolutes have no power in the face of subjectivism.
[1:20:10] There's an old saying, thousands of years ago, stop quoting laws to men with swords.
Stop quoting laws to men with swords.
If I enter into a debate with someone and it turns out that they only speak Japanese while I only speak English, the debate is impossible.
[1:20:48] I rented Last Tango in Paris.
And it came without subtitles. And of course, a lot of it is in French.
My French is not that good that I can follow this.
I think it was an ancient Greek or Roman general who said that.
It's a conqueror. Stop quoting laws to people with swords.
What they said about the law. The law is an opinion with a gun. It's just an opinion.
So, since there's a certainty of no change, why would the expectation of anger exist? I don't know who came up with that.
Jared, let me introduce you to Jared from half an hour ago. You said, I don't feel anger at my parents.
Why would the expectation of anger exist? I don't know who came up with that.
You came up with it. Look in the mirror.
Look back on the chat. You're the one who came up with the expectation of anger.
[1:21:54] I mean, you can't punch me and then say, I don't know who punched you, let's see if we can find him. We'll check the security footage, we'll track him down, man. Don't worry, I'll punch him for you.
You came up with that.
[1:22:30] Ah, right. Somebody says, I'm the only one of my brothers that's not still living with his mom, or in jail, wow.
Jared says, I know I did. I know I heard you warn me in a previous call and that defu can lead to anger.
Right.
Jared says, stop quoting laws to us that have swords as attributed to Pompey, the great military and political leader of the late Roman Republic.
All right.
Okay, so the defu can lead to anger.
So you do know who came up with that. Ooh, why are you lying?
Sorry, I'm not calling you a liar. I'm just saying, you're saying, I don't know who came up with the expectation of anger And I said, you did.
You said, yeah, but then you all, you said, you, Stef said that defu can lead to anger.
So when you say, I don't know who came up with that. And then you immediately identify the two people, you and me that you believe came up with that.
I don't know what you're doing.
I like, why, why are you squid inking me, bro?
[1:23:39] That's very odd to me.
Truth says, I confronted my parents for their abuse as a child. I'm sorry to hear that.
My mother then blamed my wife for poisoning my mind. I keep them at a distance now.
I hope that distance is something like infinity.
So, Jared, what are you doing? I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything.
I just, I don't know who came up with I'm supposed to feel angry.
Oh, wait, it was me and you, Stef. Exactly. What?
Did you... I don't understand.
I don't know what the capital of Canada is. What is the capital of Canada? It's Ottawa. What?
I don't understand. I'd like to understand. I'm curious. I'm not criticizing.
I'm just pointing it out.
I'd like to know.
What's a good sign that you've overcome your childhood abuse?
You don't have any abusers in your life and you also yourself are not an abuser.
That's the best sign. That's the best sign.
[1:24:57] Wait, we're kind of done. Well, it's an hour and a half.
That's a good question, says Jared. I don't believe you were original in the declaration that anger should occur. It feels like it's from society in some way.
You're still fogging me, though. No, you're still fogging me.
Because when I asked, when I said, when you said, I don't know where the expectation of anger came from, and then I said you, and you said, yeah, I know, but it's also you, and now you're saying, well, maybe it's society, in some way.
It's like, no, there's no such thing as society in some way.
Oh, dear. Jared, Jared, Jared. Why are you doing this to me? Why, why?
Why? I'm trying to help you, and you're fogging me. That's kind of rude.
Anyway, I'll let you mull that over. I'll let you mull that over.
I can tell you why you might feel anger, see you assume okay Jared remind me you don't have to give me your exact age but remind me roughly how old you are.
[1:26:14] Let me just maybe I can look at your picture, alright 20s 20s whatever right, well this is another big ass question, mid-late 20s alright so when did you first realize that your parents just you don't I don't need an essay here just if you don't mind when did you first realize your parents were dysfunctional, probably 20 years ago, Probably.
[1:27:05] I mean, I can talk to you about my experience of this, right?
Maybe this accords with your experience as well.
Yeah, seven days, about 20 years. Okay.
What made me angry about my defooing, what made me angry about my defooing, was not them.
Was not them, or not only them.
So here's a good test of empathy or understanding.
When I realized, while older than you, that my family of origin was unrecoverable, what was I most angry at?
What was I most angry at When I realized This.
[1:28:27] Yeah, that's right. Of course myself. Yeah, of course. Of course. Of course.
Michelle says, can't speak for anyone else, but I was disgusted with my friends.
Right. What's the second last word in that sentence?
Can't speak for anyone else, but I was disgusted with my friends.
Second last word is my, the ones you chose and voluntarily associated with.
Yeah, the time I wasted trying to fix them that I didn't do it earlier Yeah, absolutely The time wasted between the realization and the separation not realizing it sooner I was mad at society in a sense for not giving me any help or feedback, and I was mad at friends for not talking about it but they were all still my friends but the person I was most fundamentally angry at was myself, because that anger I can do something about Can anyone continually lie to you without your collusion and permission?
God, it hurts. I can still feel the Velcro coming off my spinal cord.
Can anyone lie to you continually without your collusion and participation?
[1:29:51] Come on, come on, come on, we all know the answer to that.
[1:30:04] Can anyone lie to you? I don't just mean like a one-off thing.
Can anyone lie to you without your collusion and participation?
Nope. But remember, we're never designed to escape lies.
We're just designed to subjugate ourselves to them. We're never designed to escape lies, but now we can.
Nobody can lie to me if I'm not there to be lied to. Yep.
And we don't confront people on their lies. And we're not honest about our experience if they're lying.
And so we continually invite them in and then get really upset that they're in our house.
Come on in, vampires.
Oh, they're on my neck again. Get out. Come on in, vampires.
Oh, they're on my neck again. Get out. Come on in, vampire. Oh, my God.
I literally could do that for 10 years straight and it would be my 20s because they don't lie to you about who they are you just lie to yourself, about who they are oh I feel the anger deep inside there it is.
[1:31:21] Now the only way you can forgive yourself for participating in immorality is to end up with so great a life that you wouldn't change anything that led you there.
I'll say that again. It's really important. The only way you can forgive yourself for participating in immorality is to have so great a life that you wouldn't change anything that got you there.
So I can say, oh, but in my 20s, I should have known sooner.
But if I did that and I didn't know sooner, if I knew sooner, I wouldn't have met my wife.
Thrilled to have met my wife. Wouldn't have met my daughter.
Wouldn't have had this show.
Most likely, it certainly wouldn't be in its current format.
[1:32:13] Because everything you are is chosen.
As an adult, everything you are is chosen.
[1:32:37] See, we are good at being victims.
And i don't mean to diminish the victimhood you may have experienced as a child but we're so good at being victims that it's very hard for us to remember our power our authority our free will and our responsibility somebody earlier said well how can i not have despair in a world without accountability I mean the most important person to hold accountable is you and only you, these people are so bad, who's responsible for their bad effect on you, right who is responsible for these bad people's bad effect on you Well, they should change it. I'm going to fix it. No. No.
Who is responsible for bad people's bad effect on you?
You are. 100%. You are and nobody else.
If I keep going into a hungry lion's den with marinade all over my ass, who's responsible for getting my ass bitten?
[1:34:05] Who's getting my ass bitten? The lions? Nope. The lions are just doing what the lions do.
You are responsible for the bad effects of bad people in your life.
No one else.
When you get angry at yourself, then you can change. Getting angry at other people?
Maybe a little here and there, but we're all like, oh, I can't get angry at myself because people yelled at me as a child.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No, don't do that. Well, I can't give myself objective feedback as an adult because I was given unjust and abusive feedback as a child.
I can't have discipline as an adult because I was abusively disciplined as a child.
Talk about letting the past win. Holy crap, what a bad idea.
[1:35:11] That's called letting them win the other way.
Letting them win the other way. Well, my dad always nagged me to exercise when I was a kid, so I'm just going to sit and become a bonbon on a couch as an adult.
Because if I try to make myself exercise, I'm just like my father.
Oh, he wins the other way.
Instead of injuring you with exercise, he injures you with obesity and joint pain and diabetes.
My god.
[1:35:42] People yelled at me as a child, I can never be firm and stern with myself as an adult because all firmness, discipline is just abusive.
Holy crap, and thus we go from the 50s to the 60s to the 70s to the 80s.
Pendulum, pendulum, pendulum, pendulum, pendulum, pendulum, where is the reason?
Where's the Aristotelian mean?
Where are the facts? Where's the objectivity? Where's the justice?
Stop bouncing off what your parents did and make your own choices based on reason and evidence.
[1:36:13] You're in your 20s, you're in your 30s, you're in your 40s You're responsible
[1:36:16] for your life If you're still bouncing off parental shit in your 20s, 30s and 40s You've lost You've lost, And unless you identify that loss You have no chance of winning So get mad at yourself That's what the real anger is, Why am I 30 and still playing the victim? Why am I 40 and still complaining about my parents? Or my ex-girlfriend? Or my siblings?
It's my fault.
It's your fault, that they do you harm. 100% on you.
You were a victim as a child.
I have sympathy for that. I have no sympathy for you continuing to play the victim as an adult.
No. No, no, no, no.
You show up to my dinner party in a pair of diapers, with a binky in your mouth I'm sending you home I'm glad you had diapers and a binky when you were three months old but you're 30 you don't come to my dinner party in binkies and a diaper.
[1:37:35] You become free of your childhood when you embrace adulthood.
And embracing adulthood means you can't blame anyone anymore.
But there are bad people. Yes, I accept that.
I understand that. I'm not arguing. You hear me argue with people when they say my parents are bad or my brother is bad.
I don't argue with people. Do you hear me arguing? No!
I accept they're bad people.
[1:38:23] But they're in your life because you choose them. Because you go back for more and more and more.
And you're doing it to yourself with them as a proxy.
You know, when I was a kid, my dad used to hit me. So now what I have to do is I have to go over. He's like in a nursing home and he's like 90.
What I have to do is I have to go over. I have to give him nine coffees and then I have to grab his hand and then hit me with his hand because he still hits me.
Like what you go over to your father who's 90 you fill him full of coffee so that he's awake you grab his hand you hit yourself and you claim to be a victim.
[1:39:12] The people I don't have to spend time with are really mean to me, so I'm a victim. Nope.
That's not how free will works. That's not how self-ownership works.
So just defooing bring anger? Yeah, totally. Absolutely. Absolutely.
[1:39:37] Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you, Jared.
[1:39:43] But you understand if you can never get angry at yourself, because people were unjustly angry with you as a child, you can never grow up.
Growing up is having rational judgments independent of history.
And of course, we ask, what do we ask the world? We ask the world, oh, you should free yourself from history and live by reason. That's philosophy.
Free yourself from history. Live by reason.
Well, physician, heal thyself. Maybe you should free yourself from philosophy and live by reason.
I have to remind myself of this every day. So please understand, I'm not preaching from any cloud-shrouded height of guru perfection at all.
I remind myself of this all the time.
So I'm not preaching from any place of perfection, but from a place of humility and vulnerability.
[1:40:58] If you do find this helpful, you can tip. I got to tell you, this is very, very, very hard-won wisdom.
This is why you can't get it anywhere else. And you know you can't, right? Like, you can't get this stuff anywhere else. You know that, right?
This is wisdom that came out of me like bone marrow.
[1:41:26] There's a lot of pain in this kind of truth. And I don't want you to have to go through that kind of pain, so I'm going to distill the essence of it and provide it to you in an engaging fashion so you don't have to go through what I went through to figure this shit out.
Because I'm telling you, I know you have your own suffering and I'm not trying to diminish or eliminate that, but I'm telling you, man, you don't want to go through what I went through to get this kind of knowledge.
And if I can have you not... go through what I went through to get this kind of knowledge, then that makes the suffering that I went through to get this knowledge less bad.
I'm trying to wash clean the sin of my own avoidance of principles by having you not have to go through what I went through.
Thank you, Zim, for you say you're going to be donate when you get paid again.
Yeah, freedomain.com slash donate if you're listening to this later. I would appreciate it.
[1:42:33] Don't be so delicate just because you were injured.
Because if you keep favoring your wound, you're never healed.
You're never whole. You're never over it.
You know, when I whacked the crap out of my knee chasing my daughter down a hallway in St.
Louis, I was better when I don't have to think about my knee injury anymore.
I can act like I was never injured.
Act like you weren't injured. That's being free from injury.
That's getting over the past.
[1:43:04] Can you get to the place where you weren't injured?
I hope, I hope that I don't present myself in the world as one of the walking wounded, as one of the tremulous, fragile, hurt, broken, reactive, souls radiating agony in every step. I hope that I come across with a certain amount of of robustness and passion and empathy and curiosity and, you know, some smidges and sprinkles of virtue, right?
Why? Because I really have worked hard to not be dominated and dictated by my past because the past was unchosen.
We have to choose who we are if we're to have any identity whatsoever.
I refuse to let other people define me.
I would be defined by my choices, by my self-ownership, 100%, and the values and virtues I elucidate and advocate.
I'm not defined by the assholes who raise me. I'm not defined by the liars who slander me. I'm not defined by the liars who slander me.
[1:44:13] By the indifference of former friends.
I'm not defined by being hit as a child. I didn't choose any of that.
I was just raised by a bunch of assholes and got away. Doesn't define me.
I'm not defined by having blue eyes, or white skin, or being bald.
I didn't choose any of those things. I'm defined by what I choose.
And any limit on what I choose, and any limit on what I'm responsible for is a destruction of my very being.
Do you follow? This is so important.
[1:44:57] I won't even let people take deplatforming from me and just blame them.
I made those choices. I own that. I knew the risk.
I accepted the risk. I accept the consequences. It was still my choice.
I am not a victim.
And you are not a victim.
Anything of yourself you abandon to reaction is territory surrendered to the enemy.
Horde yourself, guard yourself, be yourself, own yourself.
Give nothing up in your responsibility and your ownership of yourself.
Surrender nothing, give away nothing, blame no one.
Let not one atom on your little finger be excused from responsibility.
Nothing. thing.
[1:46:08] That is self ownership.
Thank you, Chris.
[1:46:25] Does this make sense? Surrender nothing. Yeah, you were abused as a child, if that was the case. I'm really sorry about that.
But what I'm even more sorry for is any shred of self-ownership you abandoned because of that.
Because then you cede territory to evil.
You hand over giant swaths of your territory to the orcs of your prehistory.
[1:46:57] You reclaim yourself from those who owned you. And either they own you or you do. There's nothing else.
[1:47:08] And you know that smoky devil fingertip that called to me over the deplatforming and the deplatforming wasn't just one thing.
The deplatforming was years and years and years and platforms and platforms and platforms and that smoky finger of victimhood and, oh, everyone's like my mother and my father and I'm being betrayed and my friends, my former colleagues, they all vanished and scattered and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
The temptation to go back into the abused and victimized childhood after having been unjustly treated was huge and deep and I resisted the living fucking shit out of that.
I resisted the living shit out of that like it was a tentacled limb dragging me to a bottomless pit.
Oh, wait, I could be the victim again. I can be betrayed again.
I can be mistreated again. I can be abused again. That's so familiar. I know that role.
I know all of that, where it leads, what it feels.
And I then don't have to blame myself or accept responsibility for myself.
So, because people say, well, I did what I did because of my childhood.
It's like, well, if you know that, then you should never have done it.
If you know that causality, you should never have done it.
[1:48:30] See, the purpose of my childhood, as far as the ethics of my adulthood goes, was not that I wanted to sign with the box of repetitive compulsion, recreate, abuse, rejection, victimization.
It's that my childhood taught me that you can have the living shit kicked out of you on a daily basis, that you can survive and flourish and be happy.
[1:49:03] If your childhood teaches you that you're fundamentally bulletproof, why wouldn't you go to war for the truth as an adult?
See, my victimized childhood, or that I was victimized as a child, gave me a far greater responsibility to be strong and virtuous as an adult.
Because I know that you can survive and flourish with the right principles from victimhood. Therefore, you can be victimized and flourish?
And have I not, to some degree, or to a large degree, flourished post-victimhood?
Sorry, I don't want to just talk about myself like this is the most important topic, but I wanted to give you an example of what this means.
It does make sense. Good. I understand this so deeply. Good.
Yes, this came at what seems like just the right time for me. Thank you so much.
I mean, so many people die, having never really lived in the way that I would understand it.
So many people let death take them without ever taking full ownership of their own life.
Who's in your life as an adult assuming you're not in prison?
Who's in your life as an adult?
[1:50:31] Who you choose to be. And if I hadn't been deplatformed on these amoral or immoral platforms, if I hadn't been deplatformed, it meant I would have remained on the sites of people willing to censor and harm others.
Yes, you have seen your shield battered but intact. It is a good shield.
No. I appreciate that. No.
My shield is stronger from the impact.
My shield isn't a thing that gets broken, but a muscle that gets strengthened.
You think that you're wounded, but alive. I think I'm stronger. and more power.
[1:51:33] My own mother tried to half-kill me more than once as a child.
And I can say, that makes me tremulous of all disapproval, or I can say, what do mean words on the internet mean when I've survived that?
Do you see what I mean? Oh, no. People typed mean things. Oh, no.
Don't be to laugh, but you see what I mean?
No, it's not tempered by the blows.
[1:52:21] That's passive. I'm sorry, because I know I said shield, or somebody said shield.
I think you brought up shield. It's not tempered by the blows.
You think resistance weakens you? Only if you think of yourself as an inanimate object. You are organic. You are alive.
It is your choice what to do with opposition.
Now, a rock has no choice what to do with the motion of the water.
It wears away the rock. The rock is inanimate.
The rock is a thing. It has no choice how the water affects it.
I know what tempered means. I know what tempered means. It's stronger.
I get it. But the shield is a passive analogy.
You are treating yourself as analogous to a thing, an object.
But you are not a thing. You are not an object. You have a choice on what adversity does to you, which an inanimate object like a shield doesn't have.
What does adversity do to you? Does it break you or does it strengthen you?
There's no other choice. Does it break you or does it strengthen you?
See, people say, but that which does not kill you makes you stronger than each, you quote. Not necessarily. It's your choice what it does to you.
[1:53:44] Being so rejected and attacked as a child, I could say, the worst thing in the world is being attacked and rejected, so I have to conform to society or I can say or I can say, I can flourish in the face of attack and rejection so I and sometimes it feels like I alone can speak the actual truth.
I'm scared of rejection or holy shit I can flourish and survive in the face of rejection. I can speak the truth.
Because other people were free to abuse me I'm now free to speak the truth.
Because not only can I survive the abuse I can flourish from it and because of it if you strike me down I shall return even stronger.
[1:54:40] Try to avoid and I'm sure I've done it but I try to avoid creating analogies for yourself that rely on the properties of inanimate objects because that strips you of free will and turns you into a passive receiver, of unchosen forces.
The shield does not choose whether it goes into battle. You do.
The shield does not choose how it responds to the blows, but you do.
You do.
[1:55:20] Jared says, I chose even the worst onslaught of gaslighting.
I still chose to find reality at all costs. Right.
[1:55:31] The evil that is around you is chosen by you. In your personal life.
I'm not talking about politically or anything, right? The evil that is around you is chosen by you.
And even the evils of some aspects of the political system is still chosen by the people who defend and justify it.
Evil is almost always the manifestation of choice.
Because if it's identified clearly as evil, it loses all its power.
Evil masquerading as good requires that people be bribed by evil into calling it good.
The welfare state is about helping the poor. No, it's not.
It's about destroying the family, buying votes, and corrupting society, and harming children. children.
Common schools are about education. No, they're not. No, they're not.
The evils that surround you are the result of your choice and the choice of others.
The evils that surround you personally are the result of your choice.
The evils that surround you socially are the result of the choice of others.
Do you tell the truth and shame the devil, or do you take bribes from the devil and call them an angel?
[1:56:54] See, you think you're angry as an adult. You think you're angry at your parents for abusing you if they abused you. That's not the case, I think. I make the case.
You're not angry at your parents for abusing you. You're angry at them lying about abusing you, and then you're further angry at you for accepting those lies and fighting with those lies and trying to convince them of the truth, rather than accepting that they're people who harm and abuse children.
You can't talk them into being good because you're trying to connect with their conscience, which they killed in the cradle.
You're trying to talk a man missing an arm into regrowing his arm.
You're mad at him for not regrowing his arm? No, be mad at yourself for thinking it can happen.
And of course, they'll promise, oh, we'll change, we'll listen, all we want to do is help, but they're child abusers.
They're child abusers. They're child abusers.
You can't talk them into embracing virtue.
[1:58:04] You're mad at yourself for avoiding your own despair by pretending you can change the unchangeable.
You're mad at continuing to be gaslit by people who give you vague indications of change just to keep you around so they can exploit you.
Now, anger is there to protect you, right?
Anger is there to protect you.
But anger can't protect you if you lie to yourself. Anger can't protect me if I lie to myself.
[1:59:09] But anger doesn't protect those who want to exploit you or avoid their own bad conscience by having you pretend that they're good or decent or changeable or hopeful or fixable For more information, visit www.fema.org.
[1:59:39] Jimmy, try not to run your own agenda when we're talking about things of use to the general group.
Listen to the conversation before barging in with your own agenda, please.
It's not about this call. It's not about this live stream. It's about others.
Your life, probably as a whole.
All right. So we are going to release... Well, first of all, of course, what I'm talking about if you find it helpful.
Freedomain.com slash donate if you're listening later.
Right here, right now, on the app here, if you're listening on a phone or a tablet, you can support and donate that way.
[2:00:33] Anyway, Jared, do we have a link for, I don't know, is it a, should we make it a feed? Sorry, I should know this.
How are we releasing these shows?
How are we releasing these shows?
You're very welcome, Zinf. I really, really appreciate that kindness.
Reademain.com slash donate. Yes, Jared, thank you. So, yeah, how are we releasing this?
I don't even know. We should probably make a feed or something.
[2:01:16] It's always tough with the typing. I'm aware of the dead air thing.
The Eric Boghossian. It's the last neighborhood in America.
Dead air, man. Dead.
We got nicks and we got chicks. Shorted link is to the premium content site.
Getting the link and announcement will go out to all subscribers with every link.
Oh, paste it in here. We've had a lovely Tuesday afternoon chat and rant with people.
I'd say paste it in here.
[2:01:54] Give it away, give it away, give it away now. Now, give it away, give it away, give it away.
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There, there it is. There's the link. Okay, so you can check that out.
If you want to get the remastered Introduction to Philosophy stuff, it's kind of old, but I bet you it's great. I know it's great. I know it's great.
And it is a snapshot of where I was 18 years ago.
18 years ago. And you'll be amazed at how little has changed and how much we have grown simultaneously.
Simultaneously. All right. Thanks, everyone, so much. Have yourself a glorious evening. We will see you tomorrow night for our usual Wednesday night live.
Look out if you're a donor for The Truth About Sadism. Don't forget to check out The Truth About the French Revolution, which is some great stuff.
Please, please check out also James' fantastic search engine for the premium content. It's really, really good.
And 18 shows, Introduction to Philosophy. And also, also don't forget to check out the 22-part History of Philosophy series, Some of My Greatest Work.
And I will get back to that.
I will get back to that probably post-winter. But the next one is Immanuel Kant, who is huge and monstrous. And just at the end here.
[2:03:22] Oh, there we go. A little bit of shirtlessness just at the end here to remind you to go and have yourself some pork rinds. All right.
Have yourself a great evening. Lots of love from up here. I will talk to you soon. Take care. Bye-bye.
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