0:00 - Introduction to Wednesday Night Live
2:09 - Free Domain and Spreading Virtue
6:45 - Peaceful Parenting Book and Helping New Moms
14:56 - Spreading Virtue with Mr. Beast
16:30 - Responsibility in Spreading Information
19:51 - Effects of Negative Affirmations in Songs
26:38 - Anarchism: Moral Principles from Childhood
31:45 - The Lord's Prayer: Deliver Us from Evil
33:15 - Fictional Writing Process
35:30 - Influence of Writers and Humanity in Art
38:00 - Street Interviews and Documentary Insights
40:45 - Reflections on Moral Lessons in Real Life
44:51 - Balancing Real Characters and Moral Purposes
1:19:29 - Cheating on the Golf Game
1:28:59 - Guilt and Decision-Making
1:33:54 - Internal Conflict and Self-Attack
1:45:31 - Responsibility and Honesty
1:51:03 - Deception for Profit
1:52:32 - Blame and Fraud in Service Industry
Stefan Molyneux kicks off the episode of Wednesday Night Live by introducing a new interactive feature where listeners can submit audio questions, fostering engagement and participation. He provides updates on upcoming discussions and debates, shedding light on current events like former President Jimmy Carter's health and stressing the significance of responsible sharing of information amidst accusations. Stefan delves into a wide array of listener questions spanning topics from parenting, politics, to money management. Personal anecdotes are shared, ranging from car preferences to music influences, highlighting the profound impact of lyrics on the psyche. The concept of affirmations and the power of positive vs. negative programming through music and words are explored, offering advice on achieving goals and spreading virtues using money and fame. The episode concludes with Stefan emphasizing the importance of practical skills over mere affirmations for personal growth.
The speaker delves into discussions surrounding freedom in private schools, wartime anxiety, the impact of rap music, and core anarchistic principles. They provide insights into their writing process, emphasizing the value of spontaneity and avoiding forced inspiration in fiction writing. Balancing the humanity of characters with delivering moral messages in art is highlighted, drawing parallels with real-life moral lessons. The speaker underscores the necessity of being a moral compass for others, especially the youth, in today's morally ambiguous world. Authenticity in character portrayal alongside maintaining moral integrity within realistic contexts is a cornerstone of their narrative.
The conversation navigates through the challenges of infusing realism with moral messages in writing, emphasizing authentic character depiction for effective moral communication. The evolution of plotlines intertwined with personal beliefs and flaws for character development is explored, shedding light on the erosion of personal freedom and individuality in relationships due to control and micromanagement. The essence of retaining spontaneity and resisting efforts aimed at altering one's core identity is emphasized. Effective communication, such as specifying cash-only tips in restaurants to prevent misunderstandings, is underscored. The need to combat controls that diminish individuality and freedom is reiterated throughout the dialogue.
The episode revolves around the intricacies of tipping culture, particularly focusing on the decision-making process and ethical dimensions of tipping in restaurants. The importance of respecting one's tipping choices and refraining from self-criticism or guilt post-tipping decisions is highlighted. The implications of not tipping, internal conflicts, and the significance of self-awareness and self-respect in decision-making processes are thoroughly discussed. The speaker emphasizes the importance of honesty, quality service, and informed tipping decisions based on the service received, especially during delays or food-related issues. Effective communication between waitstaff and customers to manage kitchen delays and concerns is stressed, condemning profit-driven unethical practices in the service industry. The episode concludes with an invitation for support and engagement across various platforms.
[0:00] Yes, good evening everybody, Stefan Molyneux, and thank you for coming. Alright, 24th July 2024, 2-4-0-7-2-4, and we are here for Wednesday Night Live. Now we're trying out a brand spanking new feature, which is not the spanking stuff on OnlyStefans, my new website only stephans universally preferable beatings so we're going to try a little feature so now you can send in audio questions friday night we're going to go hello yay you from north carolina very nice to you north carolina all right so we are going to try some audio questions. And Friday night, Friday night, we're going to try right here in the Rumble studio. We are going to try Collins. Collins.
[1:07] Ibrahim. Yes, we are going to try Collins. And you can call and yodel and do whatever you like. We can have nice, ferocious debates. You know, When we had this guy call in, coked up on Satanism and happy joy juice and coke, on last week we did a Telegram chat. You can do a search for it, shyness. And some guy came in all kinds of guns blazing, which I really enjoyed, and I was glad to have him in. So you can call in Friday night. Let's give it a try. Let's give it a try and see how it works.
[1:45] I don't think Jimmy Carter did. No, he didn't die. Jimmy Carter is still in hospice. Apparently, he's just turned into a ghoul. And author of pretty much the lowest point in 20th century American military history, which was the crashing of everything that was supposed to be helping get the American hostages out of Iran. So, yes, not the most effective president.
[2:10] Incident although i did borrow a tiny smidge of his life for my novel the future which you should definitely check out my novel called the future at freedom.com slash books all right so hit me with your questions comments issues challenges tips are absolutely more than welcome if you would like to throw a few dollar unis my way just to make up for the giant crating the giant crater smoking hole in my heart that is about the same size as the Peaceful Parenting book. I'd really appreciate it. It's gone out for free. A year of work, fairly intense work and research and so on, going out for free. All right. Yes, if you want to listen to that debate, it's free domain, fdrpodcasts.com. You can install it too. The show is 5574. You can cruise in about an hour 10 into the show. He comes in.
[3:05] All right uh mr beast's friend is being accused of pedophilia well be careful of these accusations, uh be careful of these accusations now i know you're reporting it but you really really really in my humble opinion as somebody who has had a kind of wild seagull run at by a kid in a park in lat florida false accusations you really really want to be careful spreading these kinds of things.
[3:37] And from what I've read, Mr. Beast's friend, the young man in question says that Mr. Beast's friend didn't do anything wrong. So, you know, it's like the Michael Jackson thing, right? It's easy to jump on these bandwagons, particularly if you feel it fits a certain narrative in your mind. And I'm just, I'm begging you on bended knee to please, please, please be responsible with the information and the gossip that you, that you spread. So it is not responsible to pass these allegations along without some verification. So, anyone can accuse anyone of anything, and, you know, one thing that I covered, of course, under the Epstein thing was that there was a lot of accusations that are thrown around that are not necessarily true. So just please, please, please be responsible.
[4:42] If you are wrong, and now I don't know the truth about this thing. I don't know the facts about this thing. I know that nothing has been admitted to or proven, obviously, in the court of law, whether it's civil or criminal.
[4:54] So if it fits a certain narrative, you have to be careful. Right. If it fits a certain narrative, you have to be careful. Right. So the people who said, oh, Biden is dead, or Biden is crippled, or Biden is in hospice, or Biden, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, it fit a certain narrative. And then Biden comes out and walks around. And he gives that, it's funny, he gives this kind of thing, right? A reporter asks a question, and he just gives this weird grin, like, why on earth would you ask that question? You know, it's just a weird thing. But he was ambulatory. He was walking around. But because it fit a particular narrative on the right, right? All the misinformation does not come from the left. All the misinformation does not come from the left. So because it fit a particular narrative on the right, the right spread this stuff, which is wrong. Please, please, please be skeptical. Please, please, please. So, yeah, he did transition. I think he abandoned his family. So that's not good. That's known. That's understood. That's known. That's understood. But you have to please please please stay factual that's all I'm saying just please stay factual and if you're going to spread this you also have to if you're going to spread it if you're interested enough to spread the rumors you have to be responsible enough.
[6:15] To find the counter arguments, right.
[6:23] If you are interested enough to spread the rumors In other words, you must be responsible enough to paint the full picture. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. So I hope that you will consider doing that. All right. So, let me get to your questions here, and we'll get to the audio question in just a sec.
[6:45] Have you finished your book on peaceful parenting? I have, at peacefulparenting.com.
[6:51] I am a new mom, and I find I do have issues with occasional rage from my baby at times.
[6:55] Well, I'm absolutely happy to help for absolute, complete, and totally free. Totally free you can go to free domain.com slash call free domain.com slash call and you can request a call in if there are children involved you will absolutely move to the front of the queue and i will find a way to do it even if i did one parenting call at midnight till 2 30 in the morning which is not my my peak time but you can go to free domain.com slash call i will absolutely help you for as long as it takes for the sake of your baby all for free i mean it's a show that gets released you know all of that but um yes so uh we can we can sort that out all right hey Stef longtime fan what was your favorite car you've owned during your life i gotta tell you never been a car guy i hate to say it never been a car guy i have a i have a soft spot for my very first car so my very first car this is going to sound kind of ridiculous but i went from within the nothing to making 40k to making 60k to making 120k uh with with benefits and bonuses and stocks and all of this is sort of way back this boy if this went 120k could buy you more than a carton of eggs a week so i as part of becoming an entrepreneur i drove clients around from fortune 500 companies went to pick them up from the airport you know gave them the tour took them to comedy clubs.
[8:23] And so I had to buy a new car. See, I got a car allowance and I was, of course, I'm a conserving kind of, not spend kind of guy because I grew up really poor, and I bought a new car, Volvo S70. And I love the Audi. The Audi had, back in the day, this is in the 90s, had this thing called the Triptonic, where you could go from basically manual to automatic. And I love a manual car. So I had a really, really nice Volvo S70, 98 Volvo S70. No, I guess it was in the 90s, yeah. So what happened was...
[9:07] Oh, is it? No, it had to be earlier than that. So 66, 32. I think I was younger than that. Yeah. Anyway, so I looked at that. It was a red Volvo S70 and I absolutely loved that car. It looked like a little matchbox car, like the little toy cars you have as a kid. I loved that car the moment I saw it. And I just, I had a blast in that car. Really, really liked it. So i liked that car but it was frankly a bit of a lemon i don't know if it was just mine or the model as a whole but by the time i junked it i drove that thing for like 13 years and by the time i junked it um i just got pity money you know how the dealers are just like we'll just give you, pity money so.
[10:00] All right so but yeah i for me a car is i just i want something efficient i want something safe and i like something a bit larger and higher up i don't like these sort of canoe cars where you just kind of lower the ground it feels like i'm half plowing through the tarmac i like a car that's kind of up give me an imperial walker not a uh whatever that one is that that floats along the ground that they made with mirrors. So I've never been much of a car guy. So let me get to your questions here and then we'll play the audio question, which I'm very pleased about.
[10:38] I write, somebody writes, hi Stefan, war broke out in my country, missiles and drones flying above me and stabbing and shooting turned to normal daily activity. Gaza is destroyed by our air force and army and everyone talking politics and glorifying war. Yeah, I mean, this is true all across the world that we need to find a way to embrace race, reason, and evidence, or it's reason and evidence or violence. These are the only two choices, reason or violence, reason or violence, reason or violence. And the more people are committed to violence, the less reason there will be, which is why censorship and violence go hand in hand. And the more people are committed to reasoning, the less violence there will be. So I'm really, really sorry, of course, about all of this. It's a terrifying and terrible situation to be living through.
[11:30] Stef, how can you explain religion to a six-year-old? Imagine they've never ever been in a church. No, but children are naturally religious. Children are naturally religious. Children really can't conceive of death, right? I mean, I remember my daughter when she was very, very little. The topic of death came up, I think, in one of her stories, and it's like, and then you wake up again, right? So you can only really think of death as sleep that you then wake up from. So children are naturally religious because they're surrounded by gods, right? Incomprehensible giant beings with all the power in the known universe. And they can't conceive of death so they think of death the closest thing they can think of is death is falling asleep and then waking up and that's of course what a lot of religions in particular christianity would argue that death is a kind of sleep and you wake up in heaven or in hell or you wake up to be judged and so on so religion to a six-year-old imagine they've never been in a church But, well, I think six years old might be too young to explain religion. And I don't know why you'd need to at that point. All right.
[12:43] Stef, I would like to say thank you for all the information you put out there. Thank you very much for your appreciation. Ah, are you familiar with Joel Littman? He seems to have a take on the national debt. His opinion is that it is nowhere as bad as it's made out to be, just wondering what your thoughts were. Yeah, so is this the modern monetary theory thing? I did a debate with those guys, two of those guys, some years, right?
[13:18] Yeah, I mean, so I don't know much about Mr. Beast. I think I've flown past one or two of his videos, I guess, like most people, just out of curiosity. But I will say this, that Mr. Beast, I mean, I don't know if there's some story behind his name, but I just think of the Beast, right?
[13:41] You can't get anywhere on YouTube without some significant moral compromises. Because if you don't make significant moral compromises about the truth, then you won't stay on YouTube. Now, I know he's not a particularly philosophical show and so on, but I do think that there's a certain amount of devilish approach to Mr. Beast, which is, I think the one that I saw was he had friends and he says, you know, you do these things and i'll give you the island whoever wins i'll give you the island so it is a way of controlling people in a way through throwing lots of money around and i think he's made his money from crypto or something like that so there is a certain amount of just throwing money around and having people do uh stuff and it just seems and it's all very frenetic and very crazy fast cuts and and hysteria and you know those soy boy cattle prod with a cactus up the ass kind of thumbnails and and so on. So I just think with all of those resources, it would be nice for him to do a bit to spread. I mean, I know that PewDiePie went into sort of philosophy and parenting stuff and so on. And it would be nice for Mr. Beast. I know he does, you know, what he considers to be some good, you know, building wells in the third world and so on. But it would be nice for him to spread some virtue, some actual virtue, some actionable virtue.
[14:57] He's certainly got enough money to do so. But of course, the moment he starts spreading some actionable virtue, he's probably going to to get kicked off. So, I mean, I just view everyone at the top there as compromised.
[15:07] What do you think about auto suggestions for achieving a goal? For example, I believe in myself 10 times.
[15:14] Uh really yeah two monetary theory podcasts so 4855 and 4689, so mr beast was a randomly generated name from his playstation account, yeah i don't think so yeah i don't think so, i don't think so because mr and beast are two obviously very very common words and generally they don't do it that way. And don't just take what people say, especially online, as true.
[15:56] Yeah, the car, I know that meme of like, just let me die, right? Just let me die. Somebody says, oh, Zimpf, hey, welcome back. I don't ever feel that I could thank you enough, Stef. Thank you again for everything. I appreciate that. Thank you. Blessed are the peacemakers. Sorry today if someone on an ATV running over a Trump supporter. People still embracing having political opponent murdered. Evil has hold of their hearts after it gets hold of their brains. Yeah.
[16:31] Yeah. How do you use money to spread virtue? What are you talking about? How do you use money to spread virtue? I literally just told you that I'm giving away Peaceful Parenting for free. And it costs a lot of money to research, prepare, write, edit, record, and publish Peaceful Parenting. You know, if I look at all of the money that was spent, my time, I had a researcher or two on it for quite some time. I'm the actual writing, the editing, the feedback, the formatting, the e-books, the recording, the audio book, which is like 16 hours. So there is a massive amount of money in that book, which I'm giving away for free. So you have money and you have fame, and you use it to spread virtue. But then, if you really do spread virtue, and it actually starts to take root, then you'll be attacked, right?
[17:44] So, yeah, with regards, it's funny, you're setting up the website. We actually, we paid for the website, paid for peacefulparenting.com. The debt will ultimately be paid through inflation. No, you can't pay a debt through inflation. Yeah, you can't, you can't, you can't pay a debt through inflation.
[18:09] So regarding these affirmations, many, many, many years ago, I got a song stuck in my head from Genesis, just when I thought it was going all right, I found it up wrong when I thought it was right. It's always the same. It's just a shame. That's all. And it kind of got stuck in my head. It was my brother's favorite song for a while. And I actually had to, I realized it was programming me negatively, right? Just when I thought it was going all right, I found out I'm wrong when I thought it was right. It's always the same. It's just a shame. That's all, right? Right. And it's about um a confidence busting dissociative bad love affair and so i had to change that and the only i realized it was wearing grooves in my brain so i had to change that just when i thought it was going all wrong i found out i'm right when i thought it was wrong it's always the same it's not a shame that's all right just had to and then the song the possession right songs program you they're kind of like possessions right uh lyrics uh burrow deep into your brain tone lyrics uh they They are usually fairly demonic affirmations, right?
[19:12] And they make you guilt, right? The paper today tells of war and of waste, but you turn right over to the TV page, right? In other words, you're a bad person. Turn it off if you want to. Close your eyes, it'll go away, right? There's a sting and Phil Collins did that song on a Phil Collins album. I can't remember which one it was. And Driven to Tears is another police song. One world is enough. One world, not three. It's a subject we rarely mention, but where do we have this little invention? By pretending they're a different world from me, I show my responsibility.
[19:52] One world is enough for all of us. So it's all about guilt, and it's all about programming, and it's all about socialism and all of that kind of stuff. So I think that negative affirmations in songs i i have to be somewhat careful about the songs that i listen to because they do program you right and certainly when i'm writing of course when i'm writing i can't have any lyrical music a kind of music with lyrics so i've got an extensive collection of non-lyrical music all the way from gregorian chants to i'm a big fan of raikuta style paris texas slide guitar I find and I did a lot of sort of southern Texas blues slide guitar stuff when I was writing the character Roman in my novel.
[20:38] The future. And so, yeah, be careful. So I think the affirmations, I mean, I don't think they do anything harmful. But I think you should probably take the time learning some practical skill rather than chanting to yourself.
[20:55] All right. Let's see here. Freedom in private school, when? Now we have Phil Collins who's been to Lolita Island. Yeah. I don't understand why I feel so paralyzed and anxious when I have thoughts of leaving my country which is at war right now is it propaganda? Well I don't think so I think it would be that for men we are programmed to stand and fight because we are disposable which is why we have so many more sperm than women have eggs, rap has to be the most destructive form of music out there and Billie Eilish.
[21:34] Could you explain anarchist ideology, Stef? I've always thought it was just leftist causing chaos, but after listening to some old streams, I seem to be wrong. Donating it on FDR.com and reading your books on anarchy after the stream. Stef did a Joe Rogan podcast on anarchism, I think involuntarily. Yeah, Joe Rogan was all like, hey man, love what you're doing, anything I can do to help. We did two shows together, and then on the third show, I don't know if he got a phone call or something, but it turned into an absolute, ambush and bitch fest and uh because you know people he's like i've got this all queued up man and he plays something i'm like did i say something insane i try not to uh in general that's my business plan is don't say anything insane and uh anyway you can you can find it on fdrpodcast.com what about visualizing yourself achieving a goal does it help.
[22:27] I've never i mean i've had visions you know when i was young of course i had visions of you know speaking to big crowds and a big audience and all kinds of cool stuff and i mean that stuff kind of came true i had visions it wasn't a visualization it was i had visions when i was a kid that on y2k i was going to be wearing nice clothes and working in an office doing something cool and that is actually what was going on on um on that so oh is that the uh Yeah, wait, is that the, oh, is that right? Oh, it's still there? Cool.
[23:09] Wow, look at how youthful. Look at how youthful. That was very cool.
[23:17] How cool, 10 years ago. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.
[23:32] Yeah, Joe said, I want to join your cult. How do I sign up? He was very friendly. And yeah, it was cool. It was cool. It were cool. 10 years ago. Wow. That's wild. I was still in my 40s. Very cool.
[23:59] Yeah, there's a price. I mean, there's a price to fame that I don't want to pay. There's a price to fame I don't want to pay. So, the anarchist ideology, it's not an anarchist ideology. It's just, we should not use violence to achieve our goals. I mean, it's not really an anarchist ideology. We should not initiate violence to achieve our goals. It's um see the anarchist of voluntarist philosophy is the simplest thing known to man, see all who would corrupt you over complicate all who would all who will corrupt you all who want to corrupt you will over complicate things and all who wish to liberate you simplify things right i mean if you think of the phone uh you just tap swipe a phone right it's very simple for you to work, and therefore it's become very popular. You know, DOS 2.0 was not very easy to use, you know, it's booted up and there's a C colon backslash prompt or C colon, greater than sign. And you know, CD, you know, I remember creating all these batch files in DOS to launch my WordPerfect 5.1 and things like that. And.
[25:19] So, all who want to liberate you will simplify things, and all who want to enslave you will complicate things, which is why when there's a philosopher out there and you can't make head or tail, or Jordan Peterson maybe sometimes, you can't make head or tail of what the philosopher is saying, it's because he's in league with sinister forces who want to enslave and control you. So, anarchism simply says, hey, you know that stuff that they told us in kindergarten? Garden, what do they tell us in kindergarten? Don't grab, don't take what isn't yours, and don't hit, right? Don't take, don't hit, don't steal, don't hit. Respect property rights, don't initiate the use of force. That's what we say to kids who are three or four or five or more, or sometimes younger. Respect property. That's not your toy. Give it back. And don't hit. Don't hit him. Don't hit, right? So don't use violence. And respect property.
[26:29] Now, anarchism, I suppose, is the truly staggering idea that maybe that's just true.
[26:38] Maybe that's just true maybe we should just respect property and we should not use violence to achieve our goals, honestly it's not more complicated than that maybe the stuff they told you in kindergarten is true, respect property don't use force Maybe it's just true and universal. And if you hold one principle central and universal, all of society gets radically redrawn. But that's fine. That happens all the time, right? I mean, Einsteinian physics rewrote Newtonian physics. Newtonian physics rewrote Ptolemaic physics, right? They got simpler and clearer and simpler and clearer and more universal and more practical.
[27:33] Even though einstein was a complete psycho who did he marry his cousin and certainly praised how wonderful the mass murdering sociopath vladimir lenin was so it's it there's nothing really to explain everybody already knows anarchist ideology everybody already knows it because we were all told and taught and it was inflicted upon us when we were children, So, there's nothing that needs to be explained. The only thing that needs to be understood is the moral principles. It's a pretty radical idea. So, see if you can bend your head around this, right? Anarchism is the radical idea that the moral principles that you told were universal as a kid are, in fact, universal. You know, because they didn't say, well, you can grab Johnny's toy and push him into the ground outside, but not inside. When it's sunny, but not when it's cloudy. You can do it at the mall, but not at home. Right? They said, you have to respect property rights and not use violence to get what you want. Everywhere, all the time, no matter what.
[28:45] There's no excuse for violence. And they tell you it's universal. They don't say, well, okay, so don't push the kid down the stairs if he annoys you or you want his toy. Don't do it in the morning, but it's fine in the afternoon. They didn't say that. When you went on vacation, well, you shouldn't steal at home, but it's fine at Disneyland, right? You could go to another country. You fly for hours and hours and hours you take a cab you're virtually on the other side of the world have the moral rules changed? No, they have not don't use force don't steal stuff you fly to Japan, Australia, Thailand, Iceland, Alaska it doesn't matter, Everywhere you go, it's not a cultural thing, it's not a religious thing, it's a universal, absolute, moral, clear rule.
[29:58] Don't take stuff, don't hit. They say it's universal. So anarchism is just the radical idea that you won't lie to constantly as a child. That they were right, that morality is universal, respect for property rights is a moral absolute that's universal, and a commitment to nonviolence and the achievement of goals is absolute and universal.
[30:29] It's just the radical idea that maybe they weren't, they maybe, just maybe, they weren't lying when they told you what was right and what was wrong.
[30:51] So, you already know it, you've already been told it, and I just take seriously what everyone told me as a kid. Yeah, put it away when you're done playing with it. Gimme, gimme, never gets. Ain't you learned your manners yet? Yeah, for sure. Anarchy is strictness with regards to the NAP. No, anarchy is the moral rules I was taught as a child that I was taught were absolute and universal, are in fact absolute and universal. Anarchy is the unfortunate mental response that occurs or the mental position that occurs when you listen to the moralists of your childhood. Right?
[31:45] Is the Lord's Prayer to deliver us from evil, forgive only those who apologize for not doing wrong and violence, it's okay, if they deserve it okay forgive us this day our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom the power and the glory forever and ever amen, our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. That's a preamble. Let me make sure I didn't skip any bits. It's been a while. Where are we at? Our Father, who in heaven and hell be your name, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we have also forgiven our debtors. Lead us not into temptation or testing. Deliver us from evil.
[32:59] Yeah, I'd have to go into the backstory behind the prayer in order to do it justice. It's, of course, a very famous prayer. But, um... All right. You missed Lead Us Not Into Temptation. Thank you. I appreciate that. You're right. You're right, I did. All right. Let's get to your questions.
[33:15] What is your fictional writing process? Do you try and reach a daily page goal like Stephen King? Well, I like it. I mean, I like it when I'm on a real roll and I can do like 7,000 words in a day. So my writing process is to just try and surf. Let the creativity go, roughly guided along the plot. Be spontaneous enough that it sounds lively. And stop when inspiration comes. dies. Do not push inspiration. Do not push inspiration. Inspiration is just that magic joy juice. It's like a geyser. You're just wrestling the language that's coming up from the void of the brain. And I do not, in any way, shape, or form, and I learned this the hard way, I do not push. If I want to finish a scene and I feel the fountain is drying up, just stop. Mid-sentence, sometimes just stop, because everything after that is going to have to be thrown out anyway. So I, of course, write with intentionality. I have a plot outline, but I also want to play within the plot outline because it needs to be spontaneous because it's a mirror to life and life is sometimes spontaneous. So that is my writing process.
[34:25] All right. So let's try this. Let's see this.
[34:32] And let's get an answer here because I think this is a writing process one as well. All right, so here we go. Here we go. Here we go, satellite radio. Okay, this is from Kale. Let's give it a listen.
[35:31] I appreciate the question. That's very interesting. So, my talk therapy involved a lot of creative writing because I was writing down these massive and contentious arguments I had about life. Now, when you are heavily influenced by a writer, crawling out from under that shadow is really tough. And of course, Dostoevsky, Turgenev, Rand, the Russian writers influenced me enormously, which is why my first novel was set in Russia. And the first play that I adapted was an adaptation of Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev, which I'm actually listening to again as an audio book at the moment because it's a great story and beautifully written. But for me, the wrestle has always been between the message and the humanity, right? So this is a real challenge in art. So forgive me for a bit of a rant here. It's a real challenge in art. The more you wrestle your story to deliver a message, the more dehumanized the characters become. The more you humanize the characters and make them absolutely vivid and lifelike, the less you're able to communicate a moral message. Now, we can see this, of course, in Ayn Rand, who's really the ultimate in delivering a moral message with fairly dehumanized characters. And Ayn Rand herself didn't really get the unconscious, although she had an affair with psychologist Nathaniel Brandon. She said, I don't really understand psychology at all. So she was a real control freak. And that's fine. I mean, so was General Seinfeld.
[37:00] But she was a real control freak when it came to bending the characters to fit the story. Now, I can't write like that. It's not how my creative process works, and it doesn't flow for me that way. I feel that if I order my characters around to follow a narrative, they rebel and won't give me any life back. They won't give me any dialogue that's It's really spontaneous and interesting. And I don't want to fashion the dialogue like I'm writing a commercial for Virtue. So for me, there's just this, always been this huge tension in writing. I want the characters to be deep, vivid, alive, which means they have to surprise me, which means they have to surprise the audience, which is how you know they're alive. I mean, if you have been in those relationships where you just know, you know what's coming out of the person's mouth, the NPCs, right? I remember doing my street interviews.
[37:53] In my documentary, which you should definitely check out at freedomain.com slash documentaries, Sunset in the Golden State.
[38:00] I remember there were a couple of times that one guy in particular, like the moment I mentioned immigration, he was a young guy in college, had a very pretty girlfriend and all of that. And he had that sort of hipster, you know, beard and hair. And when I first mentioned immigration, you could just see his program froze up and you knew exactly what was coming out. The hostility, the tension, the maybe this guy is a really bad guy. He would think about me, right? So I can't be in relationships where I know everything that's coming out of the person's mouth. Now, I don't want crazy random stuff coming out of their mouth. So you have to have some consistency, but also some novelty as a human being, right? I mean, I don't know what's going to come out of my wife's mouth the next time we chat, but I know it's going to be interesting and engaging and probably very funny. She is absolutely hilarious.
[38:49] And so she She doesn't, I mean, you come to these shows, why? Because you don't know what's coming out of my mouth, because otherwise I would be programmed and there would be no spontaneity, no joy, no life, no energy. I would just be a good actor repeating talking points with great emotion. But at the same time, you don't want random stuff. I don't know what Stef's talking about, and I don't know why he could possibly have this position and so on, right? So you come here for variety and spontaneity and hopefully some humor, but within the confines of generalized integrity and purpose. And so the way that I do these shows and what works for me and I think what works for you.
[39:31] Is to have spontaneity, energy, curiosity, and life and some unexpected things all within the confines of general principles of integrity and purpose.
[39:45] So, the people that I love in my life, I don't know exactly what they're going to say next, but I know it's not going to be, let's kick a homeless guy and rob a bank. They're not going to say that. So, it's all within the confines of reasonable levels of integrity and consistency and purpose. Purpose so for me there's that tension the more i dial up the humanity of the characters and they become as real to me as anyone i've ever known the more i dial like because this is a novelist you can go right through people's eyeballs like you go in like a little little viper landing on galactica's side right you just go you sail right in through the eyeballs of the character you go right into their spine you know everything about your history their history the characters cannot lie to you. It's a wild thing as a novelist. The characters absolutely cannot lie to you. They can lie to others, they can lie to themselves, but they can't lie to you. You know absolutely everything about the characters.
[40:45] But the more you are depicting real life, the less meaning and moral you can get out of it. Because, I mean, okay, let me ask you this. You can answer this question, if you wouldn't mind. How many people in your life, when you look at their lives.
[41:07] How many people in your life, and it's probably older people, do you look at their lives and say, the moral lessons of this person's life is incredibly inspiring?
[41:27] The moral lessons of this, my uncle, my aunt, my grandmother, my grandfather, what a hero, what a noble guy. Boy, did he ever give me moral lessons. Did he fight the good fight and did he achieve great things and get attacked and get knocked down and get back up again? And all of these things, how many people do you know in your life when you were growing up in particular, when maybe it was a teacher or someone who just went to the wall for the truth, fought the good fight and inspired you? Isn't it sad?
[42:00] It's zero for just about everyone. It's zero for just about everyone. And that is one of the saddest things in the world. One person. One person has one person. Two people have one person. Everyone else is zero. Now isn't that just really really really heartbreaking, isn't that just really really really heartbreaking, so this is what I mean if people are to be real to the reader later they have to have no moral center because almost everyone we know in our lives throughout almost all of our lives have no moral center no moral purpose no moral truth no moral aspirations all they do is fake and lie about it all that's all they do is fake and lie about it all.
[43:22] That's all. So I have, I want the characters to be real, but the more real the characters, the less they can serve tomorrow message. It's horrible. It's a horrible, horrible situation to be in as a writer. I enjoy the challenge, but it's horrible, right? Thank you for the tip. I appreciate that. And I'm hoping that through this show, you can try to be that to others, particularly younger people coming up, that you can be that moral inspiration, that moral message. I hope that you can be that because Lord above, Lord above, we know how much we need it, right? Lord above, we know how much we need it. Desperately. Desperately, desperately, desperately. So as a writer as a novelist i want people to be as real as possible because i don't want them to be these uh machines of moral explanation i want people to be as real as possible, but the more real they are the less you can wrestle them into serving any kind of moral purpose.
[44:51] So it's a very, very tough situation as a writer. It's just brutal. So I'm constantly writing that. And the more you try and control the characters to have them serve the moral plot, the more it turns into one of these cheesy reefer madness after-school specials where nobody feels real, and therefore the moral message doesn't land. You want people to be real so that the moral message lands. But the more real you make the people, the less the moral message will land. And the more you make the moral message land, the less real the people are. So you either identify with them and it's just chaos or you don't identify with them and the story is preachy.
[45:34] Hey, Alan. Nice to see you. Nice to see you. Thank you very much. And remember, you can go to freedomain.com slash donate. Oh, and by the way, we have new comments. If you're going to donate from freedomain.com slash donate, you have a comment thing which counts as a super chat, so to speak, right? So you can do freedom8.com slash donate. You can type your question in and it will come up as a question to me. So you can do that. You can do that. All right. So I think we got that downy downy. Let me just check and see. Did I miss any other questions at the moment? I don't think. How do you create and structure your plot line, Stef? Oh, yeah, there are questions here. Okay. How do you create and structure your plot line, Stef? And so one of the biggest issues that I tackled in my last novel is the problem of vanity and self-deception. So we get into all these spoilers, right? Vanity and self-deception.
[46:43] So i try not to have a plot that punishes characters right the bad guy gets hit by a train or something like that i try not to have a plot line that punishes characters i try to have a story wherein the personality is the punishment right the the bad ideas the the vanity, the sins, the corruption, the temptations that are succumbed to, that the bad personality is the outcome. And if people wish to survive the downward trajectory of their bad ideas and their vanity and their avoidance of the truth, they have to find some way to grab a hold of the truth. Right. Rachel's parents do not. Arlo does not. The aunt, Aunt Crystal, does not. And some people do. And some people do.
[47:45] And some people do. Can you pull up? Can you find the joystick to pull up when a plane is going down? And the purpose of philosophy, of course, is to have your plane fly normally, but generally society is shooting us down all the time because wherever we are over the target, there unto do we get the flack. And so society shoots you down all the time. Do you have a joystick to pull up so you don't crash? So in my plots, what I want is not for external circumstances circumstances to dictate action, but for the internal beliefs, and in particular, the sins, the vanities, the angers, the avoidance of truth, the desire for status rather than integrity, because those are really two opposites. So I'm very, very much wanting to show, here's what happens if you do wrong, you go to hell. And here's what happens if you do right, you stay in heaven. And here's what happens if you transition from wrong to right. Because it is not the great sins that take us down. The devil is not big. The devil is petty. It is the little errors, the little avoidances, the little vanities that take us down.
[49:04] There's no boss fight in corruption. It's like a bunch of mosquitoes. You just get tired of swatting away and you just let them feast and you lose your soul. It's all the little things. So think of why you don't talk about particular topics in the world. Why don't you talk, like, why did that guy freeze up the moment I mentioned immigration? Why? All the little tweaks and insults and ostracisms and threats and modeling and propaganda, all these tiny little things just kind of slowly put you on these train tracks where you become an NPC and don't have any free will. That's hell to me. To be bubbling over with truth and silenced, not by the guns of August, but the mites and gnats of early summer.
[49:56] To die, not from a giant sale of your soul for a giant place in the world, but a little whittling away of every part of you, like dropping a piece of Lego every day. The whittling away of a little part of you until you just kind of give up. I mean, how do marriages end? They don't usually end in a big fiery disaster that comes out of nowhere they end because you get restricted a little bit restricted a little bit restricted how about economies to die how does it how do your freedoms die they die because of whittling away and whittling away and little by little by little, oh don't you know like when you got to hyper controlling mom or whatever and you're just trying to stack you're just trying to stack the fucking dishwasher right oh no they need to do it this way. Oh, don't have the knives go up. Oh, the cups go on the top and it's like little by little by little, she's turning you into as much of a machine as the dishwasher. You're trying to cook a meal. Oh, no, that's too much salt. No, you need a little oregano. No, you stir it a little bit more. No, do this, do that. And it's not training, it's It's just controlling.
[51:18] You get so controlled in some of these relationships that your free will dies not with a bang, but a whimper. Right? It's like a giant church where you need light to read and write your future. There's a thousand candles. There's a thousand candles in the church. With a thousand candles, you can read, you can write, you can do your business. And then someone joins you in the church, and they're like, oh, this candle's burning too low. A wet finger, out it goes. So you still have 999 candles left. You can read, you can write, you can do your business, you can clean. You can pray. and then you don't even notice the next 5 or 10 or 15 or maybe even 20 candles. There's just a couple of reverse stars. You know how stars are little bits of light in a bowl of night?
[52:34] But in the church, now you start to see gaps in the teeth. You start to see these little dark spots. So you go and maybe light a few and whatever. But it's not worth lighting them all. Some are kind of high up some are kind of far away it's a hassle i'm gonna get splashed wax on my fingers don't want to climb up and maybe i'll knock over more and you know long story short, just bit by bit bit by bit and you light some back up just as you know people push back on the slow descending claustrophobic nets of the restrictions on their liberties and speech, little by little and then you're like damn what the hell's wrong with my eyes i can barely see anything. Holy crap. Oh man, I got to get my eyes looked at. You look up and instead of there being a few gapped toothed darknesses in a sea of light, there's only a few lights left in a sea of dark. You have taken the night sky and reversed it. Or really you've taken the reverse image of of the night sky and made it the real thing. Instead of it being mostly white with a few spots of dark, it's now mostly dark with a few spots of light.
[53:54] And you strain your eyes, and you strain your eyes, and you get tired, and your eyes are squinty, and you can't find your matches. And you're like, oh man, I'll just, I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed, and I'll just, I'll light this stuff in the morning, I'm going to figure it out in the morning. But there is no morning, because those are your only lights. Just go to bed looking three or four candles still guttering away and still those shadowy forces going back and forth went fingering them out blowing them out with dying breath you wake up in one of those terrible situations it's actually in the hobbit you know there's if you've ever been in a place so dark you can't tell the difference between opening and closing your eyes, well, that's your church. It's out. It's all out. All the stars are gone. All the light is gone.
[54:59] All the matches are gone. There's no light. And it is dark forever and ever. Amen. Amen. Because you never fought the beasts, blowing out the candles. And that's how relationships die. A little bit of control. Do it this way. Do it that way. Be a little different. Don't do this. You're too loud at parties. You tell too many stories. You interrupt people too much. You talk too much. You try to be too funny. You try to do the little candles going out. All the spontaneity. Masonry crashes down upon a break in the spine of every spontaneous moment.
[55:46] Just do a little bit this way. Just do a little bit that way. Don't be this. Don't laugh so loud. Don't do this. The lights go out bit by bit, slow, and you put them back up sometimes. And sometimes it seems like they're almost back to normal, but there's this relentless pressure to control, to minimize, to silence. You ever have those relationships where just everyone one tells you that everything you do is wrong everything you do is wrong just not totally wrong just little inappropriate this is the hr well you know it's not really how we do things around here this is not quite right that's a little inappropriate right.
[56:41] That's it. That's your life. Bit by bit. Bit by bit. Don't mow the lawn straight up and down. Go in a circle. It's more efficient.
[57:01] When you wash your hands, remember to get under your fingernails and wash. Do this. Do it this way. Just this vague discontent with just about everything you do and this vague impatience to just have you improve just do it this way it's better i'm trying to help you i'm trying to help you be more efficient right and bit by bit, bit by bit by bit it. Your spontaneity, your confidence, your joy just goes out each brief candle. A little bit darker, not too bad. You can still see a little bit darker. You got to squint a little bit. You'll fix it later. A little bit darker. I'll go light some stuff. That's a little bit better, a little bit darker. Because those who wish to erase you are relentless.
[58:07] Those who wish to erase you will never stop. They are relentless. There is no end to your diminishing when you're in that death spiral. There is no point at which they say, A. You have arrived, you are perfect, I have nothing left to criticize. Criticism, in general, is the act of exercising power over the previously broken.
[58:38] It is an exercise of power. It is not a desire for improvement. And these little chip away things. And eventually, you either die or rebel. That's it. You either die or you rebel. And the rebellion is incomprehensible to people who don't know where it's coming from. The rebellion is shocking. Chip, chip, chip, bit, bit, bit. Suppress, suppress, suppress, control, control, control. And eventually you're like, God, stop it! And then what happens? People are like, whoa, where did that come from? I'm just trying to help. And how can you solve that? How can you solve that? Spoiler. You can't. You can't solve that. The people who chip away at everything all the time, relentlessly, and are never satisfied are soul murderers.
[1:00:06] You're never so controlled that they will stop trying to control you. Because they are trying to control you, but of course the great tragedy is they completely lack control within their own minds because they cannot stop trying to control you. And because they cannot stop trying to control you, they are exercising or displaying their complete lack of self-control. And so they will nitpick you into half insanity, and when you try to save yourself through energetic acts of rebellion and frustration, well, then you've got to learn how to control your temper because that just came out of nowhere. I'm just trying to help. But you're always doing these things. You can't say always. They're just nitpicking police everything you say. Yeah the task is not as important as the relationship right right right.
[1:01:19] You can't win. Don't be in relationships with people who try to change you. That is not a relationship. That is a power play. That is grooming you to inconsequentiality. You cannot be in relationships with people who are trying to change you.
[1:01:51] Now people will say and I understand this they'll say no no no they're just trying to help right they're just trying to help, and of course I have a standing rule with my wife that anytime she wants to correct my driving she's absolutely welcome to, if I don't happen to see something or anytime my wife wants to correct my driving I absolutely enthusiastically request that she do so, so what's the difference, well driving matters right how you stack the dishwasher doesn't matter oh but it's we could be 5% more efficient, if you're using your god or universe given absolute brilliance as a human being to try and figure out how to stack the fucking dishes 5% better you've absolutely lost the plot you are missing everything essential about what it is to be a human being, I'm going to take the most astounding organ in the entire universe, the three pounds of wetware genius portal to brilliance known as the human brain, and I'm going to use it to figure out how to stack the dishwasher better. Oh, it's repulsive. It turns my stomach.
[1:03:15] It's like pulling down the Mona Lisa and using it to mop up an oil spill.
[1:03:25] It's hideous. It's a hideous misapplication of potential to take the brilliance in which you are capable, and use it to nag people about the tiny little details of how they sought their fucking laundry. You missed a spot. And I'll tell you, man, I've seen this now. I've seen this now. I'm sure you have too. I've seen this now. And what I've seen is, what I've seen is, the people who are the most controlling are always the biggest fucking failures. 100%. The people who are the most controlling are the biggest failures of all. Steer clear of nitpickers. Nitpickers are out to steal your soul. They are the most widespread and insistent people.
[1:04:42] Demons the universe has yet produced. Steer clear, avoid like an environmental toxin, because they are.
[1:04:59] All right, let me get to your questions and comments. We had more questions from our listeners. Let me get to those. I'll figure out how to put them in the show later. Haven't quite figured that one out yet, but we'll get there. We will get there. All right. So what else do we have here? Here's another question.
[1:05:26] Now let's do part two of one first.
[1:06:30] All righty, righty. Let's get to the second part. All right. Thank you. you.
[1:07:25] Yeah great question i really really appreciate that and I'm not sure how nice or not nice to be. I'm not sure how nice or not nice to be.
[1:07:43] Tell me, should I be nicey-nice or not nicey-nice? N for nice, B for bad. N for nice, B to bad. Be not nice. M for nice, B for bad. Not nice. Oh, you are the guy, and you want me to be not nice?
[1:08:08] All right. It sounds like we have a little bit of a vote for slightly less than massively nice. Well, that's fine. That's fine. Okay, I will be, let's just say frank. I will be frank. Okay. So this is you have to be kidding you have to be kidding because this one is not complicated now if someone says i don't want you to tip on the credit card i can't remember why i don't want you to tip on the credit card i assume it's because they want to have cash so they can not pay taxes Okay. So what they need to do is there needs to be a big sign, a big sign, because they're deviating from the norm. Normally, you pay with a credit card or an ATM machine, Interac or whatever, then you include the tip, right? So they need to have a sign on the restaurant, which says, you can only tip in cash.
[1:09:16] So you can make your decision about whether you want to eat there, right? So I was at an ice cream store the other day, and there was a big sign, big sign, that said, cash only. So I didn't order an ice cream and then stand there with my thumb up my ass because I don't have any cash, right? It's a big sign, cash only. And then when you go up to the door, they say, it's cash only, so that you know the deal. The idea that you're going to go to a restaurant and they accept a credit card, but you can't tip on the credit card. I've never heard of such a thing. I mean, I've traveled around the world, but I've never heard of such a thing. Maybe there's good reasons. Maybe there's whatever, right? But they need to tell you that ahead of time. Tips are welcome. Cash only, right? And then you say, okay, well, I don't have cash. So you can decide whether or not you want to eat in the restaurant based upon them telling you ahead of time. Now, they can't tell you. They can't tell you after the meal. We accept credit cards, they say. Amex, Visa, MasterCard, you name it, Diners Club, if that's even still a thing. We accept credit cards. I'm going to pay with credit card every place on the planet except for this place and the ice cream store. We'll take a credit card. Right?
[1:10:46] If people deviate from social norms without telling you, that's on them. And I would say, wait, I can only cash? I can only tip with cash? Why? Well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, honestly, you should tell people that. Like, you really should tell people that. Right now, why aren't they telling people that? Come on. Come on. Why aren't they telling people that, right? Why aren't they telling people? Why isn't there a big sign? Why aren't they telling people you can only tip with cash? I've seen the cash-only tips in France. It's pervasive there and baffles everyone, not French. Right. Okay. So the French socialists don't want to pay for socialism. I understand that. So the restaurants in the tourist areas should know for an absolute fact that people don't expect to have to tip in cash so there should be signs in the restaurant say we accept taps we accept tips in cash right, so you know ahead of time, does this make sense are you with me brothers and sisters Does this make sense?
[1:12:09] I think so. Now, in South America, it is also common. Right. So people don't want to pay taxes. Only there for a week. Why bother if you didn't know before dining? Well, if people don't tell you, right, and they listen, maybe it's, oh, well, lots of people here already know that. It's like, okay, so let's say you go to a place in France and you don't speak French, or you speak French with a Quebec accent, which apparently is like dragging cat's claws in gravel through the testicles of French people. Actually, no, not that. They'd probably enjoy that. So if it's a tourist place, you have the signs up. If somebody doesn't speak French, you just remind them, and just in case you don't know, like before you order, just in case you don't know, tips are paid in cash. I just wanted to let you know. They're not obligatory, but tips are paid in cash. Or you have a sign in the menu right so why why don't they usually want a big sign because if, they have a big sign that says we only take tips in cash people are going to get their asses audited so they want to avoid the tax authorities i assume so that's on them they want all the social spending because they're french or whoever but they don't want to pay their taxes.
[1:13:38] Okay, so you can keep it a big secret because you don't want to pay taxes, but then I'm not going to have cash on me, right? Especially if you're a tourist town. If you're a tourist town, you know you have a lot of people coming in from out of the country, and I mean, if it's some, you know, ass end of the universe whatever, right? If it's some arse end of the universe town in the middle of nowhere, then they won't know that. But if it's a place where it's common for there to be.
[1:14:16] If it's common for there to be tourists, then the restaurant owners absolutely know for a fact that most tourists do not know about this, right? Most tourists do not know about this. So you tell them. And if you don't want to tell them, then you're going to lose some money, but you're going to gain more money because I assume you are not paying taxes, so you're going to gain some money. But then some people aren't going to have the cash, so you're going to lose some money, and clearly it's a net benefit to them.
[1:14:56] It is mandatory to not tip tax evading communists. Right. So why don't they tell you? They tell you because it's beneficial to them to not tell you. Otherwise, they would tell you, right? If it was all perfectly legal, Maybe, you know, they weren't taxed on tips, right? And it's all perfectly legal, but the reason they want it in cash is so it's off the book, so they can not pay their taxes. So if they want to not pay their taxes, then they don't want to signal to you why you have to pay in cash, and then it's like, well, you didn't tell me. You didn't tell me. How am I supposed to know something that's very much out of the ordinary when you didn't tell me.
[1:15:50] I would feel, I mean, I don't know. Why would you feel guilty? See, guilt requires intent. Were you intending to not tip? Intent matters. So if you went into a restaurant, Intended to tip.
[1:16:18] And they told you, you have to use cash to tip. And Lord knows, getting money out of foreign ATMs is brutal. Like you can get 10 or 20% overhead, if it even works. You've got to go find some place. Maybe it's not particularly safe in the neighborhood. Maybe people, you know, thieves watch ATM machines because they know you're coming out with cash, right? So it's so completely and blindingly obvious that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.
[1:16:49] Because if you if it's too complicated to get the money to tip just get your, food from some restaurant that doesn't take tips some fosu place some street meat cart or vendor on the street so it's completely clear that you had every intention to tip they didn't tell you ahead of time and you can't pay without a huge amount of inconvenience so is anything that i'm saying particularly complicated. Now, I know you're not a stupid person, of course, because you listen to this show, right? So I know you're not dumb. So then the question is, what on earth is going on? The second time I knew I needed cash to tip and didn't have it, so I had the intent of not tipping. Okay, so if you have the intent of not tipping, why did you go to a restaurant? That's what I don't understand. Like if you feel, well, I really should tip, and you don't want to get cash for for whatever reason, then don't go to a restaurant where you are going to tip. Like, this is what I don't understand. This is what I don't understand. If you say, well, I'm going to feel really guilty if I don't tip, I'm going to a restaurant with no cash and they only accept tips in cash.
[1:18:10] That's my question. Why would you feel guilty for something you absolutely decided to do ahead of time? I mean, it's indulgent. It's self-indulgent. It's self-indulgent. I don't understand the mental process. And, you know, maybe there's something obvious that I don't get, but I do not understand the mental process here. I don't. If you decide it's too much of a hassle to tip, I don't like this policy, then you either go to the restaurant and don't tip and don't feel bad, or you go to a place to eat which doesn't take tips. I don't follow this, and maybe I'm missing something obvious, and please feel free to correct me where I've gone astray, as always. But if you choose to don't do something knowing clearly ahead of time what your choice is going to be how dare you feel guilty about it afterwards it doesn't make any sense to me it genuinely makes no sense to me i do not do not do not do not understand.
[1:19:30] It's like some guy uh He's going to cheat on his golf game. I knew ahead of time I was going to cheat on my golf game. I brought the pencil. I brought the eraser. I'm cheating on my golf game. And then he cheats on his golf game, and afterwards he's like, oh, I feel so guilty about cheating on my golf game. It's like, no, you don't. You don't. It's a lie. You don't feel that guilty. Because if you felt that guilty, you wouldn't cheat on your golf game. Empirically, you don't feel that bad about it. Why? Because you didn't. Like all of these weasel bags who cheat on their girlfriends and then say, oh, the last thing I wanted to do was cheat on you. It's like, no, empirically, that's not true. How do we know what people want to do? We look at what they do.
[1:20:26] How do we know what people want to do? We look at what they do. So you say, you say, because I wanted to eat out anyways. I did not want that to stop me from eating out. I'm not aware of other places that don't take tips. Okay. But you can look it up, right? I mean, a street vendor is not going to take tips probably, right? Or he's going to be less concerned, or maybe he would take cash. I don't know. So you decide to eat out anyway and you decide ahead of time to not tip. Okay. So you decide ahead of time that you're not going to tip.
[1:21:03] So why would you feel bad afterwards if you decided ahead of time that it was okay? This is what I don't understand. You decided ahead of time, I don't want to tip, I'm not going to tip, it's okay and fine for me to not tip. How do we know that you felt it was okay and fine for you to not tip? Because you didn't tip. You went to a restaurant, you ordered the meal, knowing ahead of time that you weren't going to tip. This is important. This is a pretty big life issue, right? It's a big life issue. This is a great quote from Nietzsche. Do not leave your actions in the lurch. If you decide to do something, accept that that's what you want to do.
[1:21:57] You know, I'm not saying putting you in this category, but all these malevolent, scaly-backed bullshit artists who say, well, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. What do you mean you didn't mean to? You did it. Well, I cheated on you, honey, but I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. It was an accident. It's like, no, you wanted to. How do we know you wanted to? Because you did. That's the beauty of empiricism. I don't give a shit about intentions. I only care about outcomes. I didn't want to cheat on my girlfriend, it just happened. No, it didn't just happen. You wanted to cheat on your girlfriend. How do we know? Because you cheated on your girlfriend. Now, you wanted to go and have a meal and not pay a tip. How do we know that? Because ahead of time, you knew that you didn't have the money to pay the tip. You went to the restaurant, you ordered the food, you ate the food, you thanked the waiter, and you got your ass up out of that chair, and you left. So, you wanted to eat your meal and not tip. I felt like I decided to do something bad, like if someone decides to steal, and after they do it, they feel guilty for stealing.
[1:23:13] Okay, let me ask you this. We can go down this road, too. How long after you left without tipping, did you feel bad?
[1:23:32] How long? Just 10 minutes, a day, a week, a month, five years. How long after you left the restaurant did you feel bad for not tipping? That is what I want to know. This is what you must tell me. I must have the answer. That is a very strange accent. I don't know where we are at the moment. Somewhere bleeding across the Schengen zone so that people can move without borders. Maybe twenty minutes and then again when I was thinking about going back. Okay.
[1:24:12] Remind me why, briefly as you can, remind me why you decided to go to a restaurant which only took cash tips without cash and therefore wouldn't tip. Your main reason was, I don't like the policy. It's too inconvenient. Damn them. To heck with them. I don't care. It doesn't matter to me. Right. So what did you get wrong? This is what's important to know. Now, what did you get wrong that you thought you'd be fine with it and you're not fine with it, like Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment? What was your thinking? And I don't mean like, what the hell was your, like genuinely, what was your thinking that you thought you'd be fine with something and it turned out you weren't?
[1:24:58] Right? Because where is your level of self-knowledge when you're a grown-ass adult and have no idea if you'll feel bad about something? That's the problem is this is a massive question of self-knowledge. That's why I'm spending so much time on this. How could you at this stage in your life, after listening to this show for so long, how could you be surprised at feeling really, really bad about something? Where is your level of self-knowledge, that you think you'll be fine with it and it turns out you're wracked with guilt? Did you see what I mean? This is a self-knowledge issue. My thinking was that I do not owe them a tip. It is supposed to be optional. Okay. But the reason you didn't tip them, I think, was because of the cash issue, or do you just not tip as a whole? Do you just not tip as a whole? I think you said you tip when you can. Okay.
[1:26:07] Now, if you don't tip as a whole, you're just kind of a soft thief, right? So restaurant prices are calibrated on the waiters getting tips. So the waiters are paid less, and therefore the restaurant food prices are lower, because people tip. So if you don't tip, you're getting cheap food subsidized by other people's generosity, and you're kind of breaking an implicit social contract. Which is to not pillage from other people's generosity. You know, if you stay at lodges or cabins or places in Northern Ontario, sometimes there's just a bookshelf. You know, have a book, leave a book. Want a book, take a book. Now, you could scoop all of those books up, and you could go and sell them at a thrift store. Is that illegal? No, not really. But you're kind of breaking the social contract, right? They called this sort of ghetto latte, where you could just get an espresso, which was cheaper than a latte, and they just put a bunch of milk in it, to the point now where I don't think the milk or cream is out anymore. So you don't have to buy a bottle of ketchup, you can just go to some place with ketchup and scoop it all up.
[1:27:31] So there's a whole social trust thing here that goes on right, and the social trust is the restaurant's going to charge you less because you're going to tip the waiter and if you eat without tipping the waiter it's a soft kind of theft it's breaking a social contract because if everyone did it you'd be paying 20 more for your meal so you're you're paying 20% less for your meal because other people are tipping the waiters or 10% or whatever it is, right? I would tip if I could do it with a card. Yes, but you decided to not tip. You went into the restaurant and you decided to not tip. So that's your decision, right? That's your decision. So honor your decision. Now, it doesn't mean you can't change your mind ever, but you decided ahead of time to go in and not tip. So respect your decision. What's this circling back later and pecking and nagging at yourself? That's ridiculous. Yeah, it was your decision. You decided to not tip. So it is an insult to your free will and your decision, Do not tip.
[1:29:00] So if you then feel like crap afterwards, that's self-attack, that's psychological, that's history-based. This is you growing up as a child, never being allowed to respect your own decisions. Did you see what I mean? So you would make decisions as a child, and you would get attacked for your decisions, and you would not be allowed to justify those decisions, and you would not be allowed to explain anything, and you couldn't say, well, this is that or the other, this is why. Be just like, you did the wrong thing, you thought you were doing the right thing, or you thought it would be an okay thing, and it turned out you just did the wrong thing, and you're a bad kid, right? You understand, this is childhood. This is not anything to do with tipping. You self-attacked for a decision you made because as a child, you were regularly attacked for legitimate decisions you made, right? So you make a decision as the innocent child, I'm going to not tip. And then your inner father or mother comes in and says, you son of a bitch, you greedy bastard, that poor waiter, you make more money than him. And just because it's always so inconvenient, you're so lazy, you won't even go to fucking ATM to tip some poor guy when you're doing well. Like how selfish can you get, right? All of this nonsense, right?
[1:30:22] I'm so stupid, right? You're selfish and greedy. You're breaking the social contract. So how can you flip from it's fine to I'm a terrible person in the space of 20 minutes? That's a little psycho. Now, we all do it. I mean, maybe we're all a little psycho, but we all do it. Like, oh, this is the greatest thing ever. Oh, this is terrible. But it's not healthy and it's not right and it's disrespectful to our decision making process.
[1:30:57] If I decide that something is okay if I decide that something is okay, it doesn't mean I'm right but if anybody tells me that what I think is good or okay is actually really really really bad And they have to make a really, really, really good fucking case. Have some boundaries. If your conscience attacks you and says, you asshole, you didn't even tip. It's like, whoa, hang on there, bucko. If you didn't talk to me beforehand, I don't care what you say to me afterwards. Oh, conscience of mine, your job is to prevent me from doing wrong, wrong not to shit on me when you just decide to get aggressive. That's not a conscience. That's abuse.
[1:31:50] If my conscience gets mad at me about something, I say, why weren't you saying anything when I was making that decision? If you didn't say anything then, I don't care what you have to say now. Now, you can approach me reasonably, but don't you dare approach me aggressively. It's like the guy who doesn't say a word, and then after you fail at something, he says, oh, I knew you were going to fail, man. I knew it the whole time. But like, hey, fuck off. If you didn't say anything beforehand, I don't care what you have to say afterwards. Right? I don't care. See, it's not your conscience, it's your superego. It's the abusive adult masquerading as your conscience. It's putting on the mantle of your conscience and you have to respect your conscience. Your conscience is there to have you stop doing stupid shit. If you do the stuff that's fine, and this was fine, If you do the stuff that's fine, and then you self-attack, that's not your conscience, that's not morality, that's not virtue. That's just abuse. That's just internalized abuse. Tell me, I don't know if I've stunned everyone here, just tell me if this makes sense to you. Please, does this make sense to you?
[1:33:14] Don't leave your actions in the lurch. Do not attack yourself and call it a conscience. That's self-paralysis. That will make you a worse person because then you'll end up attacking other people for making their own choices and legitimate decisions. If your conscience doesn't warn you ahead of time, no part of you gets to nag you afterwards. Right? Do not let self-attack mimic conscience.
[1:33:54] So your conscience was fine with you not tipping. So then self-attack is just abuse.
[1:34:21] It's another social agreement to want the cheaper prices, complain about how serving staff are underpaid, and then complain about having to tip. I agree with the idea of being forced is not a gratuity, and of course, do the math. Some auto tips on machines are more than the percent it is labeled, but that's just fraud. I can agree if in a sit-down restaurant where you know they expect tips and cannot afford both binner and the tip, you should consider at least going somewhere cheaper to eat or, you know, cook at home. Just don't order a drink, don't order a dessert, don't order an appetizer, or order a cheaper meal. And look, you know what? Every now and then, it's going to happen. Right? Every now and then, you're going to not tip. Now, sometimes you don't tip. I remember going with my daughter to a breakfast place and our food took 50 minutes, 50 minutes for eggs and sausage. I'm not tipping for that. You say, oh, well, it's not the waiter's fault. It's like, that's not my issue. If my food takes too long to come, then the waiters have to figure out how to make the restaurant faster.
[1:35:24] The waiters are the representative of the restaurant. So if the restaurant is short on cooks, that's not my deal. And the waiter has to tell you, right? The waiter has to tell you ahead of time, we're short cooks, your food is going to take a long time, If you're really hungry, it's going to be at least 45 minutes, right? So I don't tip a waiter if my food is slow or cold, right? Because they're the ones who are supposed to make sure my food is hot. And if the kitchen puts out the food cold, well, I'm not tipping the kitchen. I have no relationship with the kitchen, and I need to provide feedback to the restaurant.
[1:36:04] So I'm not tipping if my food is cold. Now, I may say, go heat this. I don't even mind if they just heat it up and bring it back. It's not the end of the world. I'm not tipping if my food is really late. I'm not tipping if the waiter only drops off my food and then I have to, sometimes you got to chase them down to the serving station to get your bill. So I'm not tipping for that because tipping is not a tax. Tipping is for good service. And I'm a great tipper when I get good service. Like everybody who used to work in restaurants, I'm a great tipper. I'll tip 25, 30%. If I get really good service, I'm thrilled to do it, I'm happy to do it, and having been a waiter myself, I want to reward excellence. If the waiter is indifferent, if the food is cold, if it's late, if they don't care, if they don't check up on me, I'm not tipping very much, if at all. It's just a quality, it's a meritocracy thing, right? I don't reward incompetence. I can't say that I want a meritocracy and then reward incompetence, right? And honestly i mean i tip almost all the time but if it's really bad i won't right and but then i just won't go back right so.
[1:37:18] And it helps the restaurant. It actually helps the restaurant to not tip when the food is cold or late or whatever it is, right? Because they then think getting feedback from the customers, right? As opposed to not giving them feedback, right? If you break your toe, you don't want your toe to tell you nothing. You want your toe to tell you a house. You could get it fixed. Speaking of tips, my friends, what a low tip night. Freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. I would really, really appreciate that. Also, also, you can tip right here on the app, freedomain.locals.com. You can also tip over on Rumble, though I don't, in fact, hold my breath for that. So if you could help out the show, I really, really would appreciate it. And we're going to take another run at.
[1:38:04] Fdrurl.com slash meetup, fdrurl.com slash meetup. The prices, the location are all there. we are no you know we're kind of on the edge of it working or not so if you want to come great it's going to be a blast uh it's a good price uh it's not a money maker we're just looking to have a great community event so fdrurl.com meetup you will tip on the free domain website i thank you, waiting 30 minutes for fresh made food from scratch is nothing pre-cooked reheated food is fine when that was the expectation and get a great food quality and service boiling pasta in a pot and opening a sauce pack and toasting them and floating breadsticks seems excessive to take 30 minutes. Hey, I've got no problem with that. And you know there are those restaurants that say, if you want this, it's going to be an extra half an hour. If you want this kind of dessert, it's going to be an extra 20 minutes. I've got no problem with that. I've got no problem with that. Just let me know. Right? Just manage expectations, right? Just manage your expectations, right? That's what needs to happen. Manage expectations. Just be honest. Just be honest, because here's the thing. Doesn't it feel just a little bit fraudulent? Doesn't it feel just a little bit fraudulent when the food is slow, the waiter knows that the food is slow, But what they do is they don't tell you, right?
[1:39:26] Because they want to sell you. So they don't tell you that it's slow, right? And because they don't tell you that it's slow, you end up ordering food based on information they have, which might affect and probably will affect you choosing to eat there, right? And that's a little fraudulent. It's not massively fraudulent, but it's a little bit fraudulent, right? They should tell you, because you might have tickets to a movie. You might have a plane to catch. You might have tickets to the theater. You might have some reason why, you need to be in a hurry. So, yeah, I do find it a little bit fraudulent. Hey, people tell me ahead of time, things are running slow in the kitchen. Before you order, I just wanted you to know, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I got no problem with that. Just let me make the decision. But don't pretend everything's fine, but you know everything's going to be slow. I don't like that. I think that's wrong. I think that's right. People need to be able to make their own decisions, right? All right.
[1:40:43] I work in the industry. Don't take it out on the server, ever. I don't know what you mean by take it out on the server. What do you mean? What do you mean don't take it out on the server? If the kitchen is slow, then the servers need to tell you ahead of time. Right? If they don't tell you ahead of time that the kitchen is slow, because we all know what happens, right? Right? Some server goes on a cocaine binger because drug use in the restaurant business is pretty damn high. So some server, sorry, some cook goes on a cocaine binge or has a hangover while pretending to have a cold and you're short on cooks. Right? That's all. And the waiter should know that because that's their job. Their job is to give you a good dining experience. Sometimes the book are booked in too many tables. Kitchen can't keep up. No, I don't believe that at all. I don't believe that at all. What is, what is there too many tables? Kitchen can't keep up? Then that's fully known to the waiter and the waiter should say when you come in, it's going to be delayed. Right?
[1:42:13] So the waiter should tell you things are slow. If the waiter doesn't tell you, it's because the waiter doesn't want to miss out on tips. And so they're making that decision for you, which is unfair. They are in possession of information that might affect your buying decision. They're not telling you that information because they want to make money at the expense of you being able to choose. That's wrong. If the place is slammed because it's that popular, new, good, estimated wait time is, Okay, yeah, fine, yeah, yeah. No, the waiter, if the waiter doesn't know whether the restaurant is doing well or not, then it's too busy or not, that's bad, right?
[1:43:01] So then the waiter is incompetent or greedy or lying. I mean, I worked in restaurants for years, man. I know my stuff. I know my stuff. If the restaurant has overbooked, it means that they are over-profiting from their customers. In other words, they are stealing the customer's time in order to make money. And they can do that. It's not violence. It's just a little kind of deception, right?
[1:43:35] So they're making, like, let's say you get 40 tables, right? And each table's food is half an hour later. right so that's a lot of that's a lot of time taken away from people right that's less foreplay for whatever's happening after the meal let's be honest right so thank you i appreciate the tip from the guy who doesn't tip hey man that's not cash i expect carrier pigeons and roman coins, i understand what you're saying but the waitstaff can't control the front line who booked the tables and what is the job of the waitstaff? Is to tell the truth to the customers.
[1:44:19] Oh my gosh. This is called being triggered and defensive. So are you telling me that the waitstaff can't control the front line who booked the tables and neither can the kitchen staff? Are you telling me I don't know that? Are you telling me there's something like I don't know? Having been a waiter myself for years and years as a teenager and into my early 20s. Do you think that I don't know that? You have such a size kitchen, so many cooks can do so many meals at once, 15 minutes max per meal is how many guests you can serve times two services per night, right? So do you think that pointing out the blindingly obvious is a really positive contribution to a conversation? Because it's really annoying. I've already told you, I've been a waiter for years, and you're telling me and the audience very loftily. The waitstaff can't control the front line who booked the tables.
[1:45:18] A, I never said they did. B, I know that. C, that's not my argument. So I don't know what wind you're pissing into, but nothing's getting in the toilet. Come on. What? Okay. Just try this on for size.
[1:45:31] Just out of curiosity. Just try this on for size. What's my argument? Just try it on. Try listening rather than being defensive. It's really a superpower in this world. How about you listen rather than being defensive and telling me stupid things that I already know and thinking you're contributing to the conversation? What is my argument? What is the responsibility? Well, the waiters aren't responsible for paying the property tax on the CEO's jet.
[1:46:06] Well, yes, I'm aware of that. You know, waiters can't turn back time. They can't freeze time. they can't float and they can't snap their fingers and produce food out of their anuses or an eye it's like well that's yeah yeah that's true they don't have a magic genie bottle to produce meal that's true too what does that got to do with my argument, so what are your suggestions then cheerfully oh my gosh if you're not going to listen just tell me you're not going to listen because I've already told, everyone what the honorable thing is for the waiter to do. Alright? Let's try it again. Watcher. What is the honorable thing for the waiter to do if the kitchen is running slow and someone comes in and sits down and is interested in ordering, what does the waiter do, that is honorable and honest? The waiter knows meals are running 30 to 45 minutes behind, what does the waiter say to the customer.
[1:47:28] I'm waiting sorry that's annoying i always hate that in um i always hate that on like Like, give me this. I'm waiting. I was really sorry. I'm sorry. I'll punch myself out. Come on. What does the waiter do if the kitchen's running 30 to 45 minutes late? Nothing's ordered yet. They've just sat down. What is the way to do? They tell them. It doesn't often go well. How would they do better? What? It often doesn't go well. How would they do better? Okay. So let's say I'm a lawyer, right? Let's say I'm a lawyer and I make $500 an hour. Let's say I'm a cheap-ass lawyer. I make $500 an hour, right? And my food comes half an hour late. What that means, let's say I'm having lunch and the food comes half an hour late, what that means is that I'm out $250 of billable time.
[1:48:33] But I got half hour for lunch, food comes half an hour late, I now have to spend an hour, which means I have less billable time back in the office. So the waiter and the restaurant just cost me $250. Now, if they'd said ahead of time, food's going to be half an hour late or more or or less, but something around that, I'd say, well, I can't do that because I've got to hit my billable hours. So, the restaurant is stealing from me $250, which is wrong, because they're taking my time by not telling me ahead of time that things are going to be delayed. So, if the restaurant is going to steal $250 of my time because I'm a waiter, sorry, because I'm a lawyer, and they just cut half hour out of my billing day, then I'm not going to tip. Well, it's not the waiter's fault. It is the waiter's fault. Because the waiter should tell me things are running late. We're slammed, things are running late. And then I can make the decision. But you don't get to make that decision for me about how I spend half an hour of my life. You don't get that.
[1:49:43] Now, if your manager says, well, hang on, all these people sat down and now they're leaving. Why? Well, I told them there were delays. Well, you can't tell them there are delays, then quit. Or if you're not going to quit, accept that you're not going to get tipped from time to time and you're doing something kind of mean and nasty. You're stealing half an hour of people's lives without telling them or giving them the choice and they're going to get annoyed at you. So when you say, well, don't take it out on the waitstaff, it's like, no. No, if you're working in a restaurant where the manager says, you can't tell people when things are slow because I'm greedy and I want to make money, then if you decide to, well, you can make your case and say, I think that's bad business, but if you decide to keep working there, that's your deal, that's your fault. You're lying to your customers to make money. You're lying to your customers, and lying by omission is lying. You are lying to your customers to make money. And then you say, well, you can't blame the staff. I damn well can, and I will. Of course I will.
[1:50:45] Because they're choosing to not tell me a basic fact that's going to take half an hour out of my life. Sorry, that matters to me. That matters to me. Well, I can't blame the people who are telling you the falsehood. Of course I can. Well, no, it's the managers. It's like, hey, man, they're choosing to work there.
[1:51:03] They're choosing to work there. Oh, you can't expect a waiter to quit just because... No? Okay, then tell me a lie. Tell me a lie and tell me it's not your fault. That's all. Tell me a lie and then tell me it's not your fault. You don't have a gun to your head. You have some financial incentives. Well, big whoop, everybody has financial incentives to lie.
[1:51:29] Worse are those on a deadline. Now I miss my lunch and have no time to get something else. Bad practice. The place deserves to fail. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, everyone who's done business travel has been in the situation where you're at a restaurant, you're hungry, and you've got to catch a flight. Everyone has been in that situation. And they don't tell you things are delayed. What do they do? They say, you keep saying, where's my food? And they say, it's coming right out. It's coming right out. 40 minutes go by and you've got to get your food. You've got to stuff your face. it's bad for their digestion, you've got to run like hell, hopefully you get to your flight, and they're lying to you. The waiters are lying to you and costing you time because they want to make money. Well, I don't like to be lied to to line somebody else's profits. I don't like to be lied to so somebody else can make more money. That's wrong. That's corrupt.
[1:52:33] So yes, I will blame the waiters because they're lying to me to make money, I don't like that I think that's a kind of fraud, Which influence on the right do you dislike most from what they've done or not done personally to you? Yes Ah, how womanly, how petty.
[1:52:57] Oh, let's make somebody fight. Let's make somebody trash talk. Somebody says their price is built into their reservation, a meal plan. So if the front staff pack them into an impossible situation, it's not fair to the waitstaff or to the kitchen if they cannot keep up. It's a total machine that can only run on the capability it is designed on. Right. So now I see why you work in a restaurant, because you don't listen. You don't listen. You don't listen. I mean, this is a big life problem for you. Right. So all you're doing is repeating bullshit responsibility avoidance talking points and you're not addressing anything that I've said. So I'm done with this topic and I'm done with dealing with you because you don't listen. I've put a lot of time, effort and energy into making my case. And all you're doing is repeating your same nonsense talking points that don't mean anything, that aren't relevant to what I've said. You don't have an input. All you have is NPC defensive talking points. And I sympathize with that. It means that something very seriously wrong happened in your development as a child and I sympathize with that too. But I'm not going to engage with it because it's a waste of time and money. So, all right. So, yeah, tips. If you find the show helpful and interesting, and I really hope that you do, freedomain.com slash donate. I would really love to get your support. Of course, if you're listening to this later, well, it's still the same website. It won't be different later. It's the universality that we talked about in the the beginning with anarchism or voluntarism. So, you can go to freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. Don't forget.
[1:54:27] Tiktok.com forward slash at freedomain.com tiktok.com I'm going to just check that because, Jared told me and I'm pretty sure that was it, but I'm going to triple check my friends. Triple check. Ah! There we go, there we go, there we go, all right, what do we got here, yeah, slider.
[1:55:00] What the hell? I think it's tiktok.com slash freedomain.com. I think it is. I think it is. Yes, tiktok.com forward slash at freedomain.com. There's a lot of cool stuff that's going up there, which is nice shorts which you can share, and I really do, appreciate your support in that regard, in that realm. And, And let's see here. The other obvious thing in the name, quick service restaurants, as in quick service, I don't expect a prime rib in five minutes and I don't expect a dollar menu at a steakhouse. Yes, that's true. FDRURL.com. Thanks, James. FDRURL.com slash TikTok. FDRURL.com slash TikTok. And of course, freedomain.locals.com, subscribestar.com slash freedomain. I would love to see you in the community and chitty chat with you. And FDRURL.com slash meetup. We'll see if we can get to the tipping point. Thank you, everyone, so much for a glorious and lovely evening of philosophy and chitty chats. I will talk to you Friday where we'll be taking calls. Bye.
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