[0:01] Yes. Oh, there we go. It starts and it zooms in because nothing says quality like the camera that randomly changes settings when you start it.
Alright, but we are here. I am, look at that, I have a collar.
I have a collar for you because that's just how much I respect our fancy-schmancy date this evening.
As it stands, the 15th, it's hello from the Netherlands, hello, it is nine days, nine shopping days left with which to help support your friendly neighborhood philosopher.
[0:41] Nine days left. If you would like to help out your friendly neighborhood philosopher, if you're listening to this later, shame on you.
If you're listening to this later, then you can go to freedemand.com slash donate to help out the show.
Please, please don't forget that you can use the promo code UPB2022 at freedemand.locals.com to get all of the free stuff.
Boy, we're adding so much value.
[1:10] It's like a second sun in the night sky or the day sky.
We're a twin planet. We're a twin, a twin solar planet. now.
The value add, we got the French Revolution, we got the audiobook of my peaceful parenting work.
We have the search function, like now there's a full search and sort and all kinds of good stuff.
Thank you, Ori, my friend, I really, really appreciate that.
Thank you for your support.
It's very much needed and very much appreciated. Thank you. And we have, um, album reviews. We have premium call-in shows, premium shows.
We are resurrecting the, so way back, we used to have this message board on community server and we had bronze gold, bronze, silver, gold, and philosopher King premium content.
And, uh, it was, uh, it's incredible stuff. Uh, I was listening to one of them the other day.
I'm like, damn, damn son, this is Steph uncensored. you know, before the chilly noose of self-censorship began to...
[2:13] I come in around us but yeah so there's premium searches now you get step by you can ask the AI that has been trained on all of my work.
Podcasts and books and articles and you name it you can ask step by which is some pretty fine stuff and.
No diamonds yeah that's right there was a diamond wasn't there it was yeah that's right it was bronze silver gold diamond and then pk.
And the premium shows are also getting remastered. So we have a really good service and some tweaking that really does make things fantastic.
Hit me with a why if you've consumed any of the content wherein when I do a call-in show, I have a transcript that breaks out me and the listener.
Like it says, Steph says this, caller says this. Does that matter?
Do you care about that?
It's a couple of extra steps, but if it's worth it. Or do you read the transcripts?
Do you care about the transcripts?
I know for some people, if English is not your first language, having a transcript is really, really helpful.
But for most people, of course, if you're strolling around and listening to it on the road, you don't care!
You are just without a care.
I should have a Bitcoin status level above gold and diamond.
[3:29] Yeah, what's this stuff even?
I think that... Remind me if this is true, James. I think...
I think that message board was pre-Bitcoin.
Bitcoin was 2008-2009, if I remember rightly.
[3:42] So, it's good, it's good, yeah.
[3:46] Yeah, I mean, they're either going to be embedded in the video or we're going to add them so that you can optionally put on the captions.
[3:55] I don't know, is there a pod, let me ask you this, do you know if there's a podcast player or is there an RSS player that also takes captions?
You just used the transcript feature a few minutes ago for what I'm about to post. For those about to post, we salute you.
I was asking to transcribe stuff for you almost a year ago, you told me not to. Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate that. I know.
Community server was 2006. Was it that early? Community server was 2006, 2007 or so.
Yeah. Yeah, there was no...
And the transcription is obviously not perfect, but it's not bad.
It's certainly better than it used to be. Better than it used to be.
[4:41] Overcast does show chapters if they're embedded in the MP3. Ah, okay. VLC does on computer.
So it needs an SRT or VTT file, right? Wow, I'm copy-pasting into the chat window and it's not working.
Well, copy... my daughter would say, well, just copy-paste better.
That's what she always does.
Yeah, so before it was Bill, right? Before James was Bill.
I consumed Bill and I'm in the process of consuming James.
I may need another meal before the end of my life.
Is a $200 Canadian monthly donation sufficient for providing career-expanding life-saving advice over the years? It's the most I can do for now.
Obviously that's very gratefully accepted. Yes, skill issue.
It's very gratefully accepted.
I will tell you, this is not a donation pitch. Honestly, this is not donate or don't donate at all.
I would just basically tell you my philosophy of donations.
[5:44] I know, I know so deep in my bones it's coming out the other side, how incredibly essential and life-saving what it is I do here.
And I'm not just talking, there is the dramatic life-saving, like the people who are like, you know, I was heading down a really dark path, I was getting self-destructive, I discovered philosophy, it turned me around, like there is the life-saving stuff that we do here.
There's the family saving stuff where I talk to a couple or one part of a couple and things work out and they stay together.
And that's of course, particularly important for the kids. there's the life-saving stuff, there's the life creation stuff. I mean, if there's...
[6:26] If there's another more pronatalist show, more child show, more pro-child show, more pro-parenting show, more pro-family show, I'd like to see it, because I don't really know that there really is, at least not for the kind of good reasons that we have here.
So, not only is this a life-saving show, but honestly, you can think of statistically the hundreds of thousands of babies who've been born because of this show.
Life saved, people turned around, addictions kicked, families saved, children born.
This is a life-saving and life-creating show and honestly I don't think there's anything out there that does it quite in the way that we do it here and is as committed and as focused on these issues, particularly with the Peaceful Parenting book and those of you who've listened to what I've done or read it, you know what I'm talking about.
Now, so that having been said, it's very much a moral mission.
This is not a gig for me, this is a moral mission.
Now, when it comes to donation, it's interesting.
The way that I think of it, and this is just my way of thinking of it, no obligation to you, it's just the way that I think of it.
[7:38] The way I think of it is, if somebody saved my life, What would I give them?
If somebody saved my life, what would I give them?
[7:54] Try thinking of life without philosophy, it's chilling to me, it's honestly, I don't think I would have made it without philosophy, I would have lived a life of such misery that not making it would probably be even better.
So, I think of my life without philosophy and I think of the incredibly deep gratitude I have that philosophy led me across the stormy river of nihilism and all of that and led me to a place of love and peace and tranquility and beauty and happiness and purpose and morals and all of that kind of stuff, right?
So I'm so great and this is why I devote my life to philosophy at some not insignificant and personal risk over the years and attacks and denigrations and income destruction and all kinds of things, right?
I'm just so incredibly grateful for the union of us and philosophy, for the union of us and this conversation and how philosophy can actually finally have traction in people's lives and lead them to a better place.
[9:05] Unprecedented. Unprecedented in the history of philosophy for it to be this applicable. The only other mindset that's even remotely this applicable is religion.
But this is philosophy and this is the most practical, embedded, really physical in terms of how you can embody an actionable philosophy that has ever existed. There's not even a close second.
Not even Philosophy saved my life.
[9:37] Philosophy did, it saved my life. So what do I owe philosophy?
Well, I owe philosophy everything.
I owe philosophy everything. Not even a close second.
[9:53] Because philosophy saved my life, I dedicate my life to philosophy.
And the degree to which I can help you dedicate your life to philosophy is the degree to which philosophy has flowed through me in the right kind of way.
So, if somebody saved my life, what I owe them would be the value of my life.
Philosophy saved my life, I dedicate my life to philosophy. Not always easy.
In fact, sometimes it's really hard.
It's really hard. Sometimes, you know, I'll share a little thing here.
You know, we're just talking here, but I'll share a little thing.
[10:44] Occasionally, when I see people I used to interact with, be colleagues with, be friends with, and they are going up and up and up, and interviewing at the top tier, and they're very public, very successful, they're giving speeches, they're roaming around, they're talking. Not gonna lie, it's a little tough.
It's a little bit feeling left behind. It's a little bit feeling like failed.
It's a little bit feeling like missed the boat.
It's a passing feeling but I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't happen.
I never want to lie to you guys.
Never doesn't happen now. For me it's worth it and it's the right thing to do but it's not always the easy thing to do.
And we can of course think of just about anything.
[11:48] The value that you provide is huge says Jimmy. Maybe we shouldn't listen as we can't afford the value that you are providing.
That is very passive-aggressive and cannabitchy. Honestly, that's very snarky. That's very snarky.
And you feel stung by what I'm saying, and you're trying to sting me back.
[12:15] And I'm sorry about that, like I'm sorry that life has led you to that kind of place.
So you're trying to punish me for what it is that I'm saying, or maybe I just shouldn't listen to you at all, because I can't afford it, right?
But I haven't said anything about it, I've told you this was not about donating, so whatever you're bringing in terms of guilt or feeling bad or feeling lacerated or lashed, that's entirely your issue, it's not mine, because I was very clear that this is not about you donating.
So, of course, you know, I remember the, um, I remember the arc of my career and if that had continued the arc of my career in the software world as a software executive entrepreneur of stock options and all that kind of stuff.
And it's not that difficult to calculate where I would be almost 20 years later.
So yes, I've, whatever you've donated to philosophy, I don't mean to mean there's not a dick measure contest, but I think it's fair to say that whatever you've donated to philosophy, I've donated more.
[13:19] Lee says, I was down a dark path two and a half years ago and this show made me accept I need to go to therapy.
I'm very glad to hear that. Yeah, let's hear some nice stuff here.
The white paper was released October 31st, 2008. Genesis Block was mine January 3rd, 2009.
Alright, let's see here, let me get to this.
Let me just... Herman, Ermes, I've seen your question here and I'm making a note of it. I just want to finish my thoughts here.
My copy-paste wasn't working because of too many characters.
What, are you like a Russian novel?
I'm grateful for you. Not finding philosophy would be so unpredictable.
I'd be married to a woman I hate, caught up in some turmoil at work and probably having taken some sort of unnecessary surgery, right?
I'm always happy to donate. I used to spend so much on stupid vices I can never repay you for the value that you've given me by steering my life towards virtue.
[14:34] Obviously, I'm not asking anyone to do something I'm not doing ten or a hundred fold.
Alright. I'm pretty sure I'd be dead, or wishing it so.
I'm obviously very glad to hear that. So again, this has nothing to do, here's the thing.
If you choose, and I mean this, this This is not a pitch, this is like, I'm completely deadly and totally serious about this.
And this is why when people say it's about the money, it cheapens the entire conversation.
[15:21] If you find great value in philosophy in the way that I put it forward, in the arguments that I make, if you turn around and say to me, Steph, I'm not giving you a dime, I'm not giving you one thin red cent, but what I am going to do is, like you, I'm going to dedicate my life to talking about philosophy with people.
That's what I'm going to do. I'm not giving you a dime, but I am going to take on the burden of spreading philosophy, actionable, rational, objective philosophy that achieves practical and tangible goals in society.
I'm going to talk to people about philosophy, not my philosophy, because no such thing as my philosophy, I don't own it, I'm not Fauci, I am science, but maybe there's some arguments that I have that you want to share, maybe there's arguments that have inspired your own particular arguments that you want to share.
And I wait for those emails, like I really, I seriously, I wait for those emails where somebody says I'm cancelling all of my donations, I'm never going to support you again, but instead, instead of sending you any money, Steph, to pay the bills and all of that, and employees instead of sending you money, I'm dedicating my life to philosophy.
[16:43] You know how beautiful that is for me? Do you think I'd write back and say, no, give me money.
No, I'd be like, dude, that is fantastic.
This is why when I talk about donating, I'm talking about serving philosophy.
Now, I mean, if you don't want to do it, I have bills and I have employees and I need to, to pay and have a viable, uh, business, but if you were to say to me, I'm not paying you, I'm spreading philosophy. I'm going to devote my life to philosophy in the way that you have. You've inspired me to devote my life to philosophy.
I would be beyond thrilled. I would be beyond thrilled. I'm looking for that. I'm looking for that.
I want to inspire people over time not to watch philosophy, not to consume philosophy, but to serve philosophy.
[17:44] Your speech in around the beginning of 2016 was what convinced me to start donating.
Then again, I did start listening in since 2015 and found you via InfoWars, the value for value.
I encourage everyone to donate and support the show regularly like a subscriber because since 2015 I knew I'd be listening to this show forever.
That's the value I get out of it.
Thank you, Taylor. That's beautiful. I appreciate that.
When I was 14, I walked around a dangerous neighborhood with a knife in my pocket, hoping somebody would try to mug me.
I found your show and my teens philosophy saved my life and the lives of others." Beautiful.
Definitely changed my life for the better forever. Thank you more than I can ever express in words, Odalis. I appreciate that. And I thank you.
Thank you for those kind words. Thank you for those kind words.
I'm just curious. not good or bad, genuinely curious. Hit me with a why if you've ever thought of dedicating your life to philosophy.
Not to me, not to what I say, not to my arguments.
Whether it's right or wrong, good or bad, I don't know. I'm just wondering.
Hit me with a why if you've ever seriously thought about dedicating your life to philosophy.
[19:01] Yes.
I think we all know what happens to the world if philosophy doesn't spread.
That's a beautiful number of yeses. Oh, you're just a bunch of yes men.
That's beautiful. That's beautiful. No, that's wonderful. That's wonderful.
The belief with the most dedication tends to win out. The belief with the most dedication tends to win out.
Now if I'm good at defining, arguing for, and spreading philosophy both for now and in the future, then wonderful.
You know, you can support me if you don't want to do it yourself.
If you want to do it yourself, fantastic.
If you come up with a better show than I do, even more fantastic.
I can donate to you. I think that's wonderful.
No, I never thought I had something original to contribute.
Don't most people believe on some level that they are passively dedicated to whatever philosophy they hold? I don't know what that means exactly.
Jeff is the father I never had, definitely changed my life, thank you, I appreciate that.
[20:15] I dedicate myself to the truth, I don't know if that's the same, but the truth is an end product of philosophy.
You can't dedicate yourself to bridges without becoming an engineer, right?
So the truth is the end result if you dedicate yourself, but not just to the truth for yourself.
We're not subsistence farmers who consume the truth in our own lives ourselves.
I mean, I could have lived a happy life, a happier life in some ways, just keeping philosophy to myself and applying it to my own life in my own family.
But I wanted to come out into the public square, because if I do have a gift for defining and explaining philosophy in a way that's actionable and practical and comprehensible, then I you, I mean, there's just an obligation in that. Steph, I'm not as smart as you.
My intelligence is in the construction of buildings. How do you know you're not as smart as me?
I mean, if I was trying to construct buildings, would I look particularly smart to you? I would not. Because I'm not post-Lego. I've never been much into...
[21:31] ...building the building arts and sciences. So...
...your intelligence is the construction of buildings? So you're way smarter than me in the construction of buildings, I may be better than you at philosophy, but I can't do much philosophy if I don't have a building around me, so I think we're working together.
To me, asking someone if they're dedicated to philosophy is like asking a person, do you want to do what's right in life? To which 90% are going to say yes.
No, it's not the same.
It's not the same.
Dedicating your life to philosophy is foregoing other benefits and taking the attacks that inevitably arise when you talk about objective, rational, moral truth.
You know i had a pretty sweet gig as a software entrepreneur pretty nice got to travel a lot i spoke at conferences i had thirty employees i had a multi-billion dollar budget i was making some decent coin you know it's pretty pretty sweet gig pretty sweet gig i like that.
[22:55] If you're dedicating your life to nutrition. And that doesn't mean that you're just eating well yourself, dedicating your life to nutrition is doing the tests to find better nutrition.
And then, you know, the majority of it is not the discovery, it's the spread, right?
I mean, this is, I was both, I both created things in the business world.
I was a chief technical officer and head programmer for the software.
So I coded millions of lines of code, but I also was a director of marketing for some years as well. and I understand that building something is really not as important as spreading it.
It's necessary but by no means sufficient. So if I'd written UPP and thrown it in a drawer, if I'd written Peaceful Parenting and thrown it in a drawer, what good would it have done to the world?
Are you willing to make sacrifices for the truth?
Now, I get, so there's a whole process that goes along with all of this, there's a whole, and it's a really interesting process, where you dabble, it's entertaining, it's enjoyable, it's interesting, you know, the call-in shows are my arguments, they're interesting, they're engaging, there's a bit of jaw-dropping stuff, and, right?
[24:18] And then, there's a time, right?
There's a time when you go, holy shit, philosophy is not a spectator sport.
[24:37] Philosophy is not a spectator sport. Wow, that's a crazy call-in show, man.
I can't believe that guy offered his Thai girlfriend's family a water buffalo.
I can't believe that guy got arrested. I can't believe that guy wouldn't have children until he had a million pounds in assets. Like it's like wow, wow, wow.
And then at some point you get that the entertainment and engagement and you know some wisdom and all of that that comes from the call-in shows or whatever it is that I'm doing.
You look in the mirror and you're like, all the crazy people aren't on the end of the call-in shows.
Our sacrifice is only made when entering the public square. You don't need to ask me that.
[25:21] You don't need to ask me that. You don't really have to explain philosophy to anyone if you're doing it.
Your actions will speak to the power of philosophy. When you do good, people will follow.
That's not true. No, that's not true.
So let's say that people can't watch you eat, but they like the way that you look, and you have lots of energy, and you're relatively slender, and all these kinds of things.
How will they know what to eat? They won't know what to eat, Until you define and objectively communicate and enthusiastically inculcate in them the desire to follow your diet.
So Bob, when you say you don't really have to explain philosophy if you're doing it, of course you do.
If you're really good at math, does that mean that people would just absorb math by being around you?
If you're really good at tennis, will people just become great tennis players by watching you and just being in your aura? No, of course you have to explain it. God.
[26:26] I mean, you're literally here, having me explain philosophy, saying, well, you don't really have to explain philosophy.
You don't see that contradiction? Oh, my gosh. I know I wouldn't be able to speak like you do.
My thoughts are clear and concise in my head, but I don't have the facility to express them. mind you, I don't have an audience to practice on.
I've never met anyone who's taken great interest in my thoughts.
So you think that I'm good at what I do because I have an audience to practice on?
Sorry, I don't quite follow this.
Are you saying that I was bad, I got an audience, and then I started practicing on that audience, and got better.
[27:20] I no comprende, senor. I no tengo dinero.
That's not a real thing. I was doing philosophy for decades, for 20 years, more, more than 20 years before I entered the public square.
I mean, I was almost 40 when I entered the public square and I'd been doing philosophy for a quarter of a century.
[27:54] So the idea that I'm only good because I have an audience, you don't get an audience unless you have something of value to offer and you don't have something of value to offer unless you study for a long time beforehand and put it in practice in your own life.
And of course I have this combination of rational thought and a very creative and imaginative artistic mind as well.
I can write novels and poems and plays as well as like the logic stuff My question is how far do you go in living for philosophy like how much do you sacrifice?
For example in the company I work for the amount of work bored is crazy if I confront it there's no doubt I'd lose my job, How far do you go in living for philosophy like how much do you sacrifice, You're not particularly good at philosophy yet if you think there's some objective answer for that. Is there some objective answer to that?
[28:58] I think a dynamic that's going on in the chat right now is an unspoken assumption that when Steph speaks about people dedicating their life to philosophy that also includes proselytizing for philosophy.
Well, does philosophy spread if you don't spread it?
And what happens if you don't spread philosophy? Who takes over the minds of the masses if philosophy is not spread?
The gulf between living a philosophy and communicating a philosophy.
[29:41] How do you know? How dare you imagine what your potential is?
How dare you imagine what your potential is?
We are living bipedal meat guards of potential. Do you think when I was a kid, I'm like, wow, I've got so much potential, boy, I'm going to be a great communicator, I'm going to be a big philosopher. I didn't think any of that.
Think I thought that in my teens?
[30:14] And do you know how much rejection I had to go through before I even started the show? And it's not like the show has been a endless banquet of acceptance since then. Right.
You want definitions without experience and you want definitions to avoid experience.
How far do you go in living for philosophy? Like how much do you sacrifice?
Start with something. Start small.
No, no, no, I'm not going to sacrifice anything until I know exactly how much I'm going to sacrifice. You don't know.
How do you know that you won't end up loving the sacrifice? How do you know?
How do you know you won't end up loving the sacrifice? How do you know? You don't know?
Well, I could lose my job, How do you know? That's not the greatest thing that could happen to you, How do you know?
[31:19] When I first saw the deplatforming stuff roll in and I've been deplatformed from like I don't know 20 different places, right? So when I saw the de-platforming stuff rolling in, what I said to myself was, I don't know if this is bad.
I don't know if this is good or bad. I don't know if this is good or bad.
Because I didn't, I tried not to have, I mean it was a roller coaster obviously, but I tried not to have the vanity to just say, well I know how this is going to play out over the next thousand years.
Steph, I remember your original intro to philosophy videos from years ago got me an A-minus in a university philosophy course.
Hit the like button, it only costs a calorie or two. Being dedicated to the spread of philosophy could mean just being great parents for some people.
Oh, Tim. No!
I tend to get attacked whenever I bring moral arguments. How do you know that's bad?
How dare you imagine you know or I know what's good or bad out of the pursuit of virtue.
I tend to get attacked when I bring moral arguments. That's your soul trying to HEAL ITSELF!
[32:30] Because you're surrounded by corrupt people who attack virtue.
Oh, it's so bad that I'm getting attacked. No.
No, it's not bad that you're getting attacked. The only thing that's bad about it is you keep getting attacked, which means you're not getting out of Trash Planet.
Of reactive, idiot, amoral bipeds who strike out with bladed tentacles at everything that tries to raise itself out of the swamp.
How fucking dare you or I imagine that we know the consequences of virtue, especially, especially virtue in the way that we're practicing it here.
Okay, let me ask you this. I'm happy to hear these arguments.
I really am. Overjoyed to hear these arguments.
[33:27] Was deplatforming good or bad for the show?
Deplatforming leading to not doing politics, not doing interviews with contemporary intellectuals and so on.
Was deplatforming good or bad for the show? Give me a G or give me a B.
And honestly, don't, you know, just be as honest as you can, right?
Did it get me back to core philosophy? Did it get me back to writing novels?
Did it get me back to more call-in shows?
Did it get me back to these kinds of intimate exchanges?
Did it get me back to laying the foundation of philosophy that's going to last the test of time?
[34:20] Can you please define good or bad for us? Oh boy, you really do like definitions.
You can't rely on your instincts?
I think that there's probably, I mean, I think, I think that there's probably quite a few goods there, and I think some of those are genuine, I think some of those are like, well I don't want Steph to feel bad, and maybe, and I appreciate I'm not saying that's bad or anything, right?
G, good for quality, and B, bad for spreading the message, right?
Good, I think the future will benefit more than the present, unfortunately for the present.
[34:59] Right.
I wrote the future in that time, I wrote the present in that time, I'm writing peaceful parenting, which I wouldn't have been able to do if I was still in politics and doing – you know, I had to read sometimes three to six books a week just to be able to interview people with some level of intelligence.
I had to do massive amounts of studying for current events and I had to set up interviews with people.
[35:30] Was de-platforming good or bad for the show?
I don't honestly know.
I don't honestly know.
De-platforming brought real truths to me, very important truths about loyalty and friendship, companionship, support.
More data is generally always good.
And of course, I assume that you prefer the show now to some degree because you're here post-de-platforming, this has been what, two and a half years since I was de-platformed, so post-de-platforming you're here, so there's a bit of a, you know, it's not exactly a general audience.
The people who didn't think that de-platforming made the show better aren't here, right? And so there's, it's hard to know for sure.
The Future is one of the best novels. Oh man, I'm listening, I was listening to bits of that, I'm like, damn, this is so good.
Good for us, bad for them.
[36:37] So when you say, well what are the consequences going to be of me being good, how do you know?
I'll say that I think de-platforming of the show was good for me.
I can't imagine having this opportunity to talk directly to Steph back when he was getting millions of views.
I definitely enjoy the show more now. I appreciate that, but again, the people who don't enjoy it aren't around, right?
They're going to watch some political rant from Dan Bongino or something like that, right?
My general belief is that deplatforming was a challenging transition, but deplatforming has made the show less relevant to the decaying present but more relevant to the fertile future.
[37:31] And if the titanic of politics was going down, de-platforming is jumping off and swimming to a lifeboat.
Yeah, there's more stuff to go around now and I'm still doing the call-in shows, I'm still doing, I mean, the whole History of Philosophers series I'm incredibly proud of and I'm so happy about that. I enjoyed you dunking on all the silly people. You're so witty lol. It was great.
Yeah Yeah, I mean no negative thing to Dan Bongino writes a good book And he's very passionate what he does and he survived lymphoma got it.
Yeah, but you know that's that's not my my space anymore, Bad for the average day people because I don't think they're going to accidentally come across an anti-circumcision show.
[38:20] So, you say, well, you know, where I work, I can't bring up any philosophy because people are just too woke.
How do you know that leaving your job full of NPCs is good or bad? How do you know?
I'm not saying quit. I'm not saying stay. I don't know.
Well, I can't say this because it's going to be bad.
How do you know? I thought it was good for the show in that, at least for me, your words make more impact because by definition you paid for it with your sacrifice. It can only build trust.
Yes, well, I'm certainly not tempted by a lot of offers to appear in people's movies anymore.
I'm not drowning in those offers.
[39:18] So, the idea that you can just be a good parent and a good peaceful parent and that's all you need to do is spread philosophy is not true.
I know it's tempting. I'm going to hoard it, I'm going to just live it for myself, right?
But it's not true, because you can't just be a good parent and live peaceful parenting.
Why? because there are bad parents around. So what are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do with the bad parents around?
They're around, they're everywhere you go, they might even be in your family or social circle or church circle, the bad parents, violent parents, aggressive parents, abusive parents, neglectful parents, alcoholic parents, drunk parents, addict parents, you name it, right?
Video game ignoring kids, addict parents. So what are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do, right? What are you gonna do? You can't just peaceful parent on your own because your kids need social life.
If your kids need social life, you've got to vet the families around you.
And if you've got to vet the families around you, you're spreading peaceful parents. See what I mean? You can't just do it yourself.
[40:26] But many out there will distrust a show that's been de-platformed.
It's an Animalian-level reaction.
Weighting conformity. Sure, absolutely.
I don't know why, it always makes me nervous. Spreading virtue, living philosophy. See?
How do you know it's making you nervous?
Sorry, I'm just gonna be this annoying guy. How do you know? How do you know?
How can you be so sure? How do you know? Say, oh, I don't know why spreading philosophy or talking virtue or philosophy always makes me nervous. You don't know that.
No, no, no, but I feel nervous. Yes, but how do you know that it's you who is the source of the nervousness?
Maybe, just maybe, the people around you are really anxious when you bring up philosophy and you're feeling their anxiety. Do you see what I mean?
You don't know. I mean, maybe you do. maybe you've gone through all of this self-knowledge and you... How would you know without going through a huge, deep and powerful confrontation with your false self?
No, the bad parents? I don't know, it always makes me nervous.
The bad parents? Bad parents make you nervous? How do you know?
[41:39] I know it doesn't interest you, but I would enjoy seeing you debate prominent leftists.
Would be great for the present and future. Would it? How do you know?
How do you know it would be great for the present and future?
How do you know? I don't know. I don't. Great show tonight.
You're a blessing, Steph. These shows give me strength. Thank you.
Thank you very much. I appreciate that.
[42:07] Right now I feel the barometer is set that anyone so mainly on YouTube is viewed as part of the problem. I needed this, I appreciate it.
You know, we jump to conclusions to limit our own potential.
I have never really been fully comfortable with my own potential.
I am uneasy at my own potential. I really am. I have a complicated relationship with my own potential.
The odds of me being a great philosopher are lower than the odds of me winning the lottery five times in a row.
Because there have been people who've won the lottery five times in a row, but I think we're unique in this conversation in the quality of the philosophy that we go forward.
Your political insights were pure gold back in the day, but the time for conversation and politics went out the window in 2020.
I really appreciate the work you've pursued since then.
In particular, the future is my favorite work of fiction ever and the Peaceful Parenting book is fantastic so far. Thank you, I appreciate that.
[43:13] Bad parents are spiteful and attack or undermine you and your family. Right.
And what is the solution when you have bad people in your environment who are spiteful and attack and undermine you and your family.
How do you know that's bad? And by bad I don't mean is it bad for spiteful people to attack and undermine your family, I'm not saying that.
[43:42] But how do you know it's bad that they're doing it to you?
Aren't they just telling you that you're not in a safe environment and you need to live with integrity and virtue and safety, you need to get away from people who are attacking you unjustly?
It's not bad that people didn't say, like all the people whose careers I helped start because I was an OG in this space, right?
Was it bad that all the people after I was deplatformed didn't immediately, oh man we got to get you on this show, we got to make sure that we promote you, we got to make sure that we'll create a funding thing to get you through this transition as your income creators, you know, they're going to circle the wagons, you know, you've been a great guy, you've got half our careers going, was it bad that people didn't do that?
I don't know. I know it sounds ridiculous, I don't know. I don't know. Was it bad?
Was it bad?
I don't know. I don't know if, I mean I don't think it was great with regards to integrity from people but was it bad?
I don't know. I don't know.
[45:02] Was it bad for people I helped get started to join organizations that have been pretty nasty towards me?
Well, you, okay, was it bad? I don't know.
I don't know. It wasn't a violation of the non-aggression principle.
People don't owe me that. It wasn't a contract.
Was it bad? I don't know.
I don't know.
They could have saved my life, right? Getting a lot of death threats back in the day could have saved my life.
Maybe they understood the word, sorry, maybe they understood the world even better than I did and were warning me away through inaction. I don't know.
Because I can't go into the minds of other people and I certainly can't go into their unconscious.
Maybe I was fired from a war that can't be won.
[46:04] And I was ambivalent about it even at the time. I was like, wow, it'd be nice if people really rallied around me, invited me back in the fold, found some way to, you know. And some people did, the Christians did.
Lord bless them, the Christians did. But I also remember thinking at the time, I'm ambivalent about this.
I'm ambivalent about this.
[46:33] I don't know that I want to go back if people barely notice I'm gone. Do you see what I mean?
And there's a relief being out of politics, I'm not going to lie, I mean, I might as well open the kimono here, there's a relief being out of politics, it's a dangerous game.
It didn't used to be a dangerous game, but it's become a really dangerous game.
[47:00] Maybe people were saying we're firing you from a war you can't win.
I'm truly baffled why other influencers didn't stick up for you, or at the very least do it based on principle.
Well, we don't know. We don't know. But I'm not going to condemn them, because I don't know that they did anything bad.
They may have done things entirely right, entirely good, unconsciously or whatever, maybe it was conscious for them, but they're like, no no no, you're going to get destroyed, you need to not be here.
It's just data. Now maybe in 500 years, I don't know, whatever, they can judge these things, but I honestly, I can't.
And do you know why I can't judge? Because I'm a philosopher.
I know that sounds odd, but I can't judge cause and effect.
I can't imagine motivations. I can't see into people's unconscious.
But that's why we need principles. We need principles because we don't know the outcomes of things. And I refuse to judge something by its consequences.
[48:11] You say, I was addicted to politics. Now I barely watch the news.
[48:24] But there's occasionally times when I'm sad about it. There's occasionally times where I feel a twinge of jealousy when I see people striding confidently across the public square, but I can't judge the good or bad.
I can only judge based on principles. Now, they say, ah, yes, no, but the people should have stuck up for you more than...
I don't know. I don't know if they should have stuck up for me more, I don't know.
I do know that the uniformity, with few exceptions, I do know that the uniformity of people not sticking up for me was wide enough that that was a very, very important...
It was a very, very important wide slice of information.
[49:34] Somebody says, I was with a company with strong DEI, I was a top talent and known for excelling, writing was on the wall, I was not going forward.
Excuse one after another killed my motivation.
Quiet quit for sure, now own my own entertainment business and realizing how effective I can be without the drag of those big corporations, I'm building something fun and great. Best move ever.
I mean, would I be better off, would philosophy be better off, would the world be better off if I had some multi-million dollar budget in the style of Stephen Crowder, and I would get up and go and spend 12 hours a day in a studio, or out on the streets, or surrounded by a phalanx of security guards and so on?
Would that be better for philosophy or not? I don't know. I don't know.
Philosophy and what's good or bad for it, I think tends to run on principle.
[50:36] Now, my day today, just so you know, just so you understand, right?
My daughter had a homeschooling event and so she and my wife left to go and do that.
I woke up, I wasn't hungry, so I didn't eat until, I don't know, mid-afternoon.
But I woke up and I had a bunch of questions that came in from locals, so I spent an hour walking around answering those questions.
And did some really, really great work. Now in those moments when it feels like these ribbon strainers of a firework god are flowing through my brain with Krakatoa-like eruption and laser-like precision, when every piece of machinery in my mind is straining with great might towards one particular fertile solution to a very challenging question, when I feel like I'm using not just 100% of my brain but 300% of the universe?
That's hard to beat, man.
That's hard to beat.
[51:55] And then I chatted with Jared and James for a while and then I exercised with my daughter and then I went out to meet with some friends who are in town and we chatted for about two hours and then I came in doing the show and I worked, I worked fairly hard on philosophy today and I work fairly hard in philosophy today in a way that would have been impossible in any other environment.
I am drawn the most towards that which uses the most of my mind in the pursuit of virtue.
I'm not just drawn to it, it's what I dedicate myself towards.
Now, as far as challenging questions, recording, answering them, that will all last a test of time.
Could I have done better for philosophy than how I spent my day? I don't think so.
Thank you for your tip. I appreciate that. Somebody says, I wish that when the time comes, I can be as brave as you were to face evil. You have sacrificed so much. Thank you for everything.
I appreciate that. And I of course have sacrificed a lot, but I have gained.
More than I ever imagined.
[53:24] You know, there's something that Elia Kazan, the famous director of On the Waterfront, and he's the guy who originally discovered Marlon Brando, and cast him in A Streetcar Named Desire, and Tennessee Williams, the writer of A Streetcar Named Desire, The Last Menagerie, Night of the Iguana, and lots of other plays, Tennessee Williams, and it's funny, it's so strange, my mother had a book written by Tennessee Williams, it was kind of autobiographical, and I started reading it, I remember there was kind of an ugly picture of him on the back, I started reading it.
It was about urine play with his boyfriend. I'm like, okay.
Nope, nope, nope, nope. Anyway, so he, Tennessee Williams, and I read his whole biography and I was quite fascinated by Tennessee Williams, he was a very powerful playwright.
But Tennessee Williams had a lifelong fear of choking and then Tennessee Williams ended up choking to death on a bottle cap.
It was not a bottle cap, it was a cap of medicine. I think it was like a pill bottle cap he ended up choking to death on a pill bottle cap, and Elia Kazan who outlived Tennessee Williams said obviously it's a terrible way to go but when he was penning those immortal lines, sometimes they're God so quick when he's so I've always relied upon whoever you are I've always relied upon the kindness of strangers.
[54:46] Penning those like immortal lines, the goosebumps and the electricity that would course through his divine pen, so to speak, to create these immortal lines and these immortal characters, can't beat it. You can't beat that.
[55:03] Whatever activates the most of my brain, the most often, in the deepest, most wide-reaching a most powerful way to communicate philosophy is what I dedicate myself to.
Now if I had more employees, if I had some big studio, if I had a multi-million dollar budget would that engage my brain more in the spread of philosophy? I don't think so.
[55:31] You know, I've tried to, you know, from a technical standpoint, I've got a little USB mic, I've got a Zoom thing, it plugs directly in, I can turn it on and just start speaking.
I don't need a big setup, I don't need makeup, I don't need the suit, I don't need, like, I could just do it, and I, what I'm doing is the maximum amount of philosophy that can be done for me, because I know I can, you can hear it sometimes when I'm, like, I'm out of juice.
Like it's dying down within me, like a singer's voice gets tired, right?
And when I'm engaging at maximum capacity in the clarity and communication of philosophy, to do that to the maximum extent is the best that I can do for philosophy.
Now, is that the widest reach? And no, no, but the widest reach would be less philosophy.
[56:36] I'm aware that in the 20 odd years I have left on the planet, if I make it to... I mean I'm probably, it's probably 30, but you know I'm banking on 20, I think I'll get to 77.
In the 20 years I have left, I mean I started almost 20 years ago, I mean in terms of public philosophy.
So I have copy-paste, right? Copy-paste.
Control-C, Control-V, that's what I've got left. What can produce the maximum amount of philosophy across the world for all time as deep and powerfully as I can do?
Well, I think some novels will be great. I've done those and, people not pulling me back into the public square, setting up a funding, whatever, right?
Making sure people donate and helping me bridge the significant or massive loss of income that deplatforming involves. People not doing that?
They may have been serving philosophy the most by not doing that.
Maybe they're part of the whole machinery of philosophy that's trying to heal the world.
I'm not saying anything mystical. I'm just saying that there is an unconscious thing that happens. maybe people were releasing me from a distracting war that was preventing me from spreading philosophy in the future.
You can live longer than 20 years.
Well I appreciate that Anthony but you can't give me any guarantees.
[58:06] I think 77 is not a bad age.
[58:14] So, maybe people were saying, go do the deepest and most powerful philosophy that you can and stop analyzing current events.
Because the current events are going to fall and fade with you, but the deep analysis of philosophy and humanity will last forever.
It's something that one of Shakespeare's contemporary playwrights said, well I'm for now, Shakespeare is forever.
Shakespeare is for all time. I'm for now, Shakespeare's for all time.
So this is what I mean when I say, I don't know, maybe they were doing, you know, in the future, it's entirely possible, in fact I would bet more on the probability of this.
In the future, they will say, the best thing that ever happened to that guy was getting out of politics, the best thing that ever happened to that guy and the best thing that ever happened to the present was deplatforming.
[59:11] Ron Paul is still doing his show at 88. Yes, he is. Yes, he is.
You have to exercise the muscle. Being bumped out hard is a good test to pass.
There's no question now whether you are committed and what part you are committed to.
Well, I mean, it's a bit of a character test. I mean, did you...
Tell me, I mean, I'm not trying to get you to talk about me, but I'm genuinely curious.
What or how, how do you think I handled sort of the de-platforming and the collapse of income and all that kind of stuff?
How do you think I handled that? Was there anything I could have done better or how did it change if it did your opinion or perspective on me and what I'm doing?
Because maybe I gain credibility through going through that process right.
Dave says I'm glad you're not in politics it's silly. Now politics is not silly.
[1:00:18] As you well know Plato ran for office tried to get into politics and we all know what happened to him right.
Ended up being sold into slavery in Syracuse almost vanished from the history of philosophy, right?
If it hadn't been for a passing student who bought him for 400 denarii, that would be it, right?
God, I'm glad you didn't bitch about it. Fair. Fair.
Fair. What are some topics you are considering for future documentaries?
Um, Civil War and American Revolution are two big ones that I would be interested in.
I like the, um, I've always been very interested in the topic of the Spanish Revolution, but I think Jack Posobiec is taking that on, and I'm sure he'll do a great job.
[1:01:21] Vox Dei is incorrect about that. Um, how it changed.
Well, first of all, there is some amount of energy or attention you put towards talking about the deplatforming itself.
Is that good or bad? I don't know, but frankly, some of your content goes to that. I don't know what that means.
Dave says, I think you handled it well. You went on shows to get yourself out there.
That was resourceful. And now it's all about family, relationships, growth, stopping and healing from child abuse. I think this is better.
And you're a computer guy, so this is ideal. You had that background.
I'm not sure I get the last bit.
You handled it better than most of us would, so much easier to make excuses for your change of position.
It boosted your credibility for sure, currently reading The Fountainhead, some similarities there too. Yeah, this is my time in the, uh, this is my time in the quarry.
I'm torn your work is now more focused, but loved your interactions with silly intranet people. Right.
Because you enjoyed the comedy and the show. And there's nothing wrong with the comedy and the show.
But that's not philosophy. I mean, it's fun, it's engaging, it's entertaining, but it's not philosophy.
That's philosophy as spectator sport rather than philosophy that you should be acting on, right?
[1:02:34] You act on principle, and my principle was tell the truth.
Don't bend the truth for the sake of social acceptance. Don't bend the truth in order to stay on platforms.
Don't lie. Don't lie.
And that was my principle. Now of course I could say, well, but if I tell the truth I'm going to get deplatformed, therefore I won't tell the truth.
But that's not philosophy.
[1:03:09] You were a tech guy, now you are your own tech. You were prepared to handle development of your own tech. I think that's more than a coincidence, but I was handling the tech before.
I don't understand how deep platforming changed that.
So, I'm just saying you act on principle and you know you have your reasonable cautions, I get all of that, right?
But you act on principle, but you don't try and guess the outcomes of things.
So if you say, well, I can't talk about philosophy because I'm going to get fired.
Well, that's philosophy telling you you're probably in the wrong place in life.
And that's philosophy telling you you probably need to get into a place where you're not terrified and have to falsify your entire existence in order to draw a paycheck.
You gained credibility as a truth teller, not to mention you bounced back well, which further shows the power of your philosophy.
A lot would have crumpled. A lot of people would have crumpled, I think. Maybe.
I mean, Laura Luma was pretty hard cancelled by just about everybody.
[1:04:21] Deplatforming really revealed who we were, the FDR community, unprepared, unorganized, etc.
At least me and my community were not able to work as a team to pull punches to keep you on platforms, talking to public figures, protecting our own in-group, etc.
Right, but how do you know that's a bad thing? How do you know that's a bad thing?
I don't have any objective proof that this isn't exactly where I'm supposed to be, for the betterment of philosophy. I don't know.
Acting on principle will get you martyred. History shows us.
No, because if your principle is to do maximum philosophy, then you temper so that you can continue doing philosophy.
You don't lie, but you temper so that you can continue to do philosophy for as long as possible.
So no, I don't think that's the case.
It's like saying running as fast as you humanly can for your entire life would just get you injured. It's like, well, no, but as you get older, you don't run as fast, right?
You have to slow down. You have to stretch more. You, I mean, you have to change, change it up, right?
I don't, this is how, I mean, to me, this is how I avoid regret.
It's like, okay, well, I have very much worked to focus on living on principle, acting on principle, and this is where I've ended up acting on principle.
[1:05:45] If this is where I've ended up acting on principle, How, Is it possible for me to say I'm in the wrong place When I've acted with as much integrity as I can, I do believe that you not joining Twitter will make it very difficult for people in the future to try to discredit you also the Way you've lived your life with your family is another great example. Yeah, you made a connection there, A lot of your argument, and I understand this, there's no criticism, like a lot of your arguments is, well, I can't do the right thing because of the negative consequences.
[1:06:32] Well, if you act on rational principles, there are no fundamentally negative consequences.
[1:06:49] Is have I failed? No, because the only thing I was in control over was my integrity.
I wasn't in control of whether people de-platformed me.
I wasn't in control of whether people supported me I wasn't in control of whether people followed me from old platforms to new platforms.
I wasn't in control of any of that The only thing I was in control of was my own integrity my own commitment to Doing the right thing as best and safely as I can.
[1:07:35] How can I end up in the wrong place if I've done the right thing?
And you're like, well if I do the right thing I'm going to end up in the wrong place. I think that's the wrong way to look at it.
And personally, I mean, your life, right? I'm just telling you.
For me that's the wrong way to look at it.
If I do the right thing, how can I end up in the wrong place?
This is the consequence of me satisfying my conscience.
They say, oh well you could have done it better, you could have done...
I'm telling you, it's my conscience to satisfy. and I have great respect for my conscience, it knows a lot more than I do.
[1:08:17] How could the consequences of moral actions be the wrong thing?
How can the consequences of doing the right thing and telling the truth be a disaster?
It's not a disaster for your soul, it's not a disaster for your conscience, it's not a disaster for the people who love you and admire you, and it's not a disaster for the people you love and admire.
I know that some of you have criticisms, and I respect and appreciate that.
I know that some of you have criticisms about me going back on Twitter, or me doing politics, or me going back on other people's shows and so on, right?
I get all of that and I've always appreciated it. I don't think I've ever gotten mad at anyone for giving me feedback.
I mean, if they haven't listened to my arguments, it can get a little annoying, but I'm very grateful and happy that you guys have given me...
That feedback. And I really, really appreciate that.
[1:09:27] But let me ask you this, did your respect for me go up or down over the course of how I handled de-platforming and the virtual erasure and all of the lies and falsehoods and danger that I sort of had to navigate through?
And some of it you know and some of it you don't know, and you know maybe on my deathbed I'll talk about the things you don't know, but some of the things you don't know are even more significant than the things that you do know. Well, was it up or down?
I mean, again, I know it's a self-selecting audience, the people who are still here are probably the people who thought that it did a reasonably, reasonably did some reasonable level of the right thing, but I'd imagine that doing the right thing and telling the truth could lead to disastrous consequences if one was surrounded by evil, though perhaps not having removed yourself from the evil would suggest that you hadn't done the right thing, right?
A lot of people will keep evildoers around in order to chase away the challenge of integrity.
You surround yourself with evildoers and then you say, well I can't do the right thing, it's too dangerous. Hey man!
So you're using, not you, people will use the proximity of evildoers so that they don't have to do the right thing.
Okay, so it's good, so I appreciate that, you think that I did the right thing, your respect went up. Okay, how important, I mean let's, I'm gonna be completely direct and honest, how important do you think it is to me that you guys respect what I do?
[1:10:57] I ask you, how important, minus, no, one to ten, never gonna be completely honest, one to ten, how important do you think it is for me that you guys think I'm doing the right thing?
[1:11:11] How much of this is a partnership or me just do do here I am striding through right the world Wonder Woman bracelets and you guys ooh, ah, ah.
[1:11:25] How important one to ten how important do you think it is for me that you guys think I'm doing the right thing, It's more than five it's more than five, It's very important to me Very important to me.
How important is it to me? Yes, it's very important to me that you guys think I'm doing the right thing.
You know this is a relationship, right? This is why I do the live streams, it's why I read my email every day, it's why I look for messages and comments and get feedback.
It's very important to me that you guys think I'm doing the right thing.
Because you are part of my conscience. Like, you know, you have your inner staff, maybe a nagging at you, do this, do that.
I have inner audience. I have inner you.
You are integral to me doing the right thing.
Your approval is very important. I'm not some Howard Roark figure, you're completely independent. That's a lie. That's a fiction character, right?
Massively important. Now, of course, it's more important to me that my wife and my daughter think I'm doing the right thing, but there's never really been a conflict about all of that.
It's very important to me that you guys think I'm doing the right thing.
[1:12:39] Why is it important what we think if you are acting based on principle?
[1:12:47] It's a good question. Why is it important what we think if I'm acting on principle?
I'm putting it out there. Why do you guys think it's important to me what you think?
[1:13:10] I have an inner Steph for sure, glad to hear it's reciprocal.
It is, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
Being part of Steph's ecosystem has to be life highlighted. Yes, absolutely.
For me, you're doing the right thing because you show as an example in your life how to continually show how to be responsible for your life rather than be a victim to it.
I don't feel like a victim at all, feeling immensely privileged and powerful.
Sanity is a social construct, because integrity is a conversation.
Philosophy is a conversation. Integrity is a conversation.
Do you think that I don't need you to help me do the right thing? I do.
I need you to help me do the right thing. Of course I respect you guys. Absolutely.
Absolutely. I need you to help me do the right thing.
I listened very deeply to people's arguments about what I should be doing.
And you guys make great arguments. My wife's not a social media person, so maybe the Twitter thing, you guys have better arguments, right?
[1:14:36] There's a reason why I ask for all these questions on localsfreedomain.locals.com, because...
That generates great stuff within me!
Well, if we don't respect what you're saying, that's a reflection of whether or not you've done a good job of communicating with us.
[1:15:06] I mean, I don't want you to think of me as a leader, and I certainly don't want you to think of me as an authority, I want you to think of me as a partner, as a conversation, like, your words, your feedback mean everything to me. Now, look, I mean, we're not talking UPB violations.
If you guys said, go strangle a hobo, I'm not going to go strangle a hobo, but you're not telling me to do that.
But as far as how do you navigate the complex, multidimensional, variable-gravity, head-waterson, whitewater-lava chaos of getting philosophy out in a world without gatekeepers but with giant blowback, how the fuck do I do that?
I don't know! I don't know!
I need you guys to help me, or I'd like you guys to help me.
And you have! You really have.
And I appreciate that. I do. And I hope I've done you proud with the feedback that you've given me and the responses that you've given me.
The clarity that you've given me. You guys are essential. Essential.
I read everything. I absorb everything.
[1:16:18] If we don't respect you, we're less likely to send you money.
I don't know what that means. I'm not talking about you respecting us.
Sorry, I mean, maybe that was a little bit earlier back, but I'm talking about, like, my need for and respect for you.
It's never been a solo gig. I mean, I'm the only one in the studio.
It's never been a solo gig.
[1:16:38] Do you know how much better I am when I'm prompted? I mean, listen, when was the last time I just did some solo show completely on my own with an entirely self-generated topic?
Those go into books, right? I did the novels, the present and the future.
I did a piece I'm doing peaceful parenting at the moment.
So all of that stuff That's self-generated but as far as like when was the last time I just here's my argument.
Here's my idea. Here's my show It's a conversation.
[1:17:12] Somebody asked freddie mercury what his favorite instrument was nobody said what was freddie mercury's favorite instrument i mean he's singing he played.
Guitar he actually came up with the original guitar ref for ogre battle.
He came up with the original guitar ref for crazy little thing called love.
So play guitar a little bit he played some he played a very good pianist what.
When somebody said, what's your favorite, and of course, great singer and played multiple instruments.
When somebody said to him, what's your favorite instrument, what did he say? Not voice.
The audience. That's right. The audience.
The audience.
As he said, he said, I can only sing as well as the audience wants me to.
And that's true. That's true.
[1:18:12] I mean you're part of it like it or not. You're part of it like it.
I mean, even if you're just listening to this, right?
As an actor, you'll be able to speak to the difference it makes in one's performance when you can feel that the audience doesn't have energy.
Oh yeah, yeah, when you're acting or giving speeches to a bunch of wet fish or whatever, it's very tough, right? When the audience is really engaged and enthusiastic, it just makes everything better. Everything.
[1:18:44] I don't think anyone loves Queen more than you do.
The Sunday matinee audience versus the Saturday night audience.
Yeah, to some degree, some degree.
So yeah, we're engaged in a dance. And I've always said when I do public speaking or when I did public speaking, I was always engaged in a sort of ballet or a dance with the audience, right?
Leading them somewhere they resist, I've got to go back, make sure everyone's staying with us and right.
It's a big big challenge, big complication, so. So I would try to avoid saying, I can't do this because of negative consequences.
I mean, the negative consequences are important, but that's no argument as to why you shouldn't do things.
I mean, if I hadn't taken on certain topics, I would be held in contempt by the future.
[1:19:43] I've got the question, I'll get to it. So if I hadn't taken on certain topics, we all know what they are, I would have been held in contempt by the future.
Now, does it matter if I'm held in contempt by the future? It does.
It really does matter if I'm held in contempt by the future.
Because if I'm held by the contempt of the future, they won't read the philosophy, they won't care about UPP, they won't care about peaceful parenting, I won't have any credibility.
Because in the future, everything that is hidden now will be absolute common sense and taken for granted, and everybody who's avoiding these challenging topics will be held in great contempt.
I mean, I'm aware of that, we're aware of that, right? Everybody knows that. Everybody knows that.
That all the stuff that's so edgy and volatile now will just be accepted as fact in the future, right?
And going back 500 years to now, when they'll know exactly what was going wrong in our society, in 100 years, 500, whenever they're gonna, right, everything that's forbidden becomes accepted, everything that is verboten becomes natural, everything that is forbidden becomes how on earth could people not believe or understand this.
[1:21:04] I mean, the example, of course, I took back before is washing hands before you operate on someone, that was like insane, crazy, the guy who developed it or was enthusiastic about it or tried to spread it, got his license taken away, ended up being beaten to death by an orderly in an insane asylum where somebody put him because he was so crazy, right?
Freud failed children as I talked about in New York at a night for freedom many years ago.
Yeah, future anger at having trained AI incorrectly, yeah for sure.
There's too much profit, like politics is a way of turning lies into profit, right? So there's too much profit in lies.
And so, people would just lie as a, lies are like this infinite crop that provides people resources, right?
The lies are, like the truth is a coolie that you send into a mine to die with a canary in his hand so that you can strip mine. Lies for profit.
So everything in the future that I talked about that was so crazy and upsetting and insane and hateful and like, it'll just be, no, it's true, right?
How many people are, is it, is it crazy to wash your hands now before you operate on someone? No, of course, right?
[1:22:22] So everything that I talked about was based on science, reason, evidence, facts, and arguments. they will be accepted in the future.
And everyone who avoided those topics will be blindingly obvious and people will be like, because they don't live in the sort of heat and stress of the moment, so in the future, in the future, they'll look back at everyone who knew these topics and avoided these topics, and they'll be like, gross.
[1:22:58] I mean, how do you think about the people who opposed the end of slavery?
[1:23:03] How do you think about the people who wanted to maintain the stranglehold of economic death that the medieval guilds had over the tradesmen and artisans?
How do you feel about those who resisted the end of serfdom and the liberation of the half-slaves of the field? How do you feel, about people who resisted the idea that you should wash your hands before you stick them in somebody's innards.
You look at those people and it's like how insane and evil were those people who opposed the progress that was necessary for society to gain peace.
I mean everybody's looking like so many people in the public square and public sphere.
[1:23:51] They're like well I need approval now, I need approval now people can't be that mad at me now that's terrible it's awful it's the worst thing for people to be that mad at me now it's like but everything we have is the result of people handling being, castigated and attacked and right, What's that line from Henry Ford, the car manufacturer, of course?
Henry Ford said, if I'd asked people for what they wanted, they'd have said, we want faster horses.
[1:24:31] All right, let me get to your question, my friend. Thank you for your patience.
Staff of the recent, how can I save my boy, call-in posted 12 12, you said something you've said before, which I'm having trouble with, at 1 58 44, if you stay you don't get to criticize.
If you stay you give up fundamental criticisms. That's just the deal.
So how then are we to best deal with a perceived abuse that has occurred in a relationship?
My thinking the process of criticizing in a relationship should be primarily about wanting to heal the relationship and thereby elevate it to a higher level and without the ability to criticize a major interpersonal tool is removed.
Perhaps this is semantics and the perceived meaning if the word criticize is central to this my question oh um yeah like the stream donations of course are very very important, fundamental criticism all right personal abuse that has occurred in a relationship.
[1:25:34] Give me an example of what you perceive as a perceived abuse.
What do you think of? What is a perceived abuse that has occurred in a relationship?
What is that?
Is it cheating? Is it screaming insults?
Is it... What is it, 14 drinks a week makes you an alcoholic?
It is being an alcoholic?
Like, what is it that is a perceived abuse that has occurred? Disrespect?
I don't know what that means, really.
I'm not sure what that means to disrespect. Let's give me an action, I don't really know what to, lying to a partner?
But lying has so many different degrees, right?
I mean, we can all think of things like, my wife and I wanted to go and buy a birthday present for my daughter, so we said we're going out for lunch, just the two of us.
And we did go out for lunch, and then we bought the birthday present, and we lied to my daughter, right?
So, sorry, I don't mean to like create exceptions, but somebody who actively tries to mess with someone's mind, manipulation, passive aggression, ignoring your spouse, stonewalling okay good good helpful I appreciate that.
[1:27:04] Not taking care of their children.
[1:27:13] All right, let's pick one Pick one. Spilling secrets, telling other things confided in secret.
Oh no, no, that's totally fine sometimes.
Yeah, that's totally fine sometimes. That's totally fine.
If a husband says, don't tell my wife but I cheated on her, it's like, I'm not keeping that secret. Oh, thanks.
Making fun of them or otherwise belittling them in front of others, not staying true to promises made to one another, withdrawal from sex, withdrawal from discussion, hiding in the closet, lying, storming, walling, stonewalling.
Silent treatment withholding affection. All right.
[1:27:59] And where, okay, let's just say stonewalling, right, so just storming around, slamming cupboard doors, saying there's nothing wrong, not providing any affection, you know there's a problem, but she's torturing you by withholding any kind of affection or honesty or communication, we'll go with that one, are we okay with that?
Hit me with a why if you're okay with, we'll call it stonewalling, right, that seems to be quite a common one that people are having issue with, so I want to make sure that we're dealing with what's actually going on.
Putting a partner on blast over social media for not being a mind reader, not doing things exactly as they would do it. Alright, let's just go with stonewalling, right?
We'll call the woman Jackson. Stonewall Jackson. So, stonewalling.
Alright, so stonewalling. Now, for how many years has the person been in the relationship? I assume we're going to go with years here, right?
So, in the relationship, so clearly if somebody's stonewalling on the first date, you don't go on with the relationship, right?
We're okay with that? Like, we don't keep going on, right?
[1:29:10] So how many years into the, and you can say months if you want, six months, a year, just let me know whether it's, don't just give me a number, seven months, a year, M for months, of course, Y for years. Because how long into the relationship is this behavior happening?
Because that's what I want to know, right? Sorry, it's kind of redundant me asking for something and saying that's what I want to know.
It's so redundant, I could say it twice.
[1:29:43] Redundant.
So how long into the relationship are we talking here? Five years of marriage, ten years of marriage, six months of dating. What is it? A couple of years? All right.
A year. What else?
Feed me, tell me.
[1:30:12] So how long into it is it starting, or like it started at the beginning and it's continuing?
Well, it has to not be at the beginning, otherwise you want it.
Right? If a woman stonewalls you on the first date and you keep dating her, it's because you want the stonewalling.
I'm sorry, I know this is kind of tautological, right? Whatever you do is what you want to do, right?
But if a woman is stonewalling and manipulating you and withholding affection on the first date and you keep dating her and you date her for years and you get engaged and you get married and you have that's what you want, so how the fuck are you supposed to be complaining about something you actively pursued and wanted and chose?
Because you're not a victim you have you can't have any complaints about something that you actively knew about and pursued and chose.
It's praxeological yeah I mean it's empiricism How do we know, right, this is the bullshit, so what do you mean to, it's like, I don't, I can only judge by what you did.
I can only judge you by what you did. I cannot read your mind and you can make up whatever bullshit you want. I cannot judge you by what you say.
I can only judge you by what you did.
All right, so a year, 1.5 years or whatever. Okay, so.
[1:31:30] Let's say she doesn't stonewall for 18 months.
She doesn't stonewall for 18 months. She's totally motion available, totally blah blah blah. She's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
And then at 18 months, she just starts stonewalling.
[1:31:47] Is that what, I mean, is this, I don't want to create an artificial scenario that you can discard.
Is that a fair scenario for us to work with, that she's great for 18 months and then she starts stonewalling.
Just hit me with a why if that's a reasonable place to start.
[1:32:18] Not possible? Okay. Yes.
Some people say not impossible, some people say yes, that's a reasonable place to start. No, I'm trying to make a scenario that works, right?
I'm not trying to trap anyone, I'm not trying to trick anyone.
I'm like genuinely trying to make a scenario that works. Right?
Yes.
Okay. So 18 months in, she's been great, she hasn't stonewalled, And then 18 months in, she just starts stonewalling, right?
Sure, I imagine it would subtly ramp up though. Okay, fine, she starts stonewalling, I said, right?
She would have done that within 18 months. I've never met a person like that.
So, if she has the capacity to provide consistent affection for 18 months, then why, and she gets the benefit of that, there's pair bonding, it's real, it's honest, it's direct, you've got trust, you've got, So you've got 18 months of pair bonding here, right?
No, no, I want to make this scenario, we can say it's outlandish that she's, I don't know, gets hit in the head with a railway spike or something and suddenly she's manipulative.
So you've got 18 months and she starts stonewalling, right?
[1:33:48] Now, she's got 18 months of pair bonding with you, she starts stonewalling and you say, that's not acceptable to me, right?
I can't be in a relationship with somebody withholds affection in order to manipulate.
Now of course she would say, well, so you want me to fake being affectionate with you? If I don't feel affectionate, you want me to just manufacture and make it up?
That's kind of weird, right? I mean, I can't make myself feel something, right?
So you would say that behavior is unacceptable to me, right?
And is it fair to say that stonewalling, hit me with a Y, is stoneballing Stoneballing?
Is stonewalling a deal-breaker in a relationship? Is that, before you're married, before you have kids, right?
18 months in, she starts stonewalling you and and she won't stop, is that a deal-breaker?
She won't listen, she won't reason about it, she won't go to couples therapy, she won't read any books, she won't do a call-in with me, she just won't do it. Is that a deal-breaker?
[1:34:55] I would first question what changed. No, I get all of that. You say, oh, what changed or what's going on?
And maybe she's just going through a lot of stress, maybe her mother's sick, it could be any number of things, right?
Yes, okay, so that's a deal-breaker, right? So, she starts stonewalling at 18 months and you say our relationship is based on emotional openness and intimacy, you haven't stonewalled before, I don't find that particularly great in a relationship, let's talk about it and she's like no I don't want to talk about it, no I'm just going to keep stonewalling you, I'm committed to this, too bad, it's over, right? Alright?
[1:35:33] So you break up. I mean, do I have that wrong?
You said it was a deal breaker, she's not going to change. So you break up, right?
I'm not saying you can never have standards in a relationship, but you can't abuse her, right?
[1:35:52] I mean, if your favorite restaurant and you love French food changes to something you don't like, like, I don't know, I don't like Korean, oh no, Vietnamese soup pots or whatever it is, right?
So, if my favorite French restaurant changes to some Vietnamese restaurant, and I don't like Vietnamese food, I don't go to the restaurant.
Do I get to go in and scream at the Vietnamese people, how dare you?
Get rid of my favorite French restaurant, you bastards and then flip a bunch of tables.
[1:36:29] I have preferences. In this scenario, I like French food, not Vietnamese food.
French food turns into Vietnamese restaurant, I stop going.
I break up with the restaurant. Does it make sense? Fo, that's it. Yeah, thank you.
B5.
[1:36:47] I feel we leapfrogged over the criticism step. We certainly did not.
You were just not paying attention.
Because I said, you would say, I don't like the stonewalling, that's a deal breaker for me, we didn't have stonewalling, what's going on?
Let's try and work it out. But she won't listen, she won't work it out, she keeps stonewalling. Then you break up with her.
That is, bringing up the stonewalling itself would be viewed as a criticism.
It is a criticism. It is a criticism.
Right? So, let's get back to the original comment.
[1:37:21] I'm having trouble at 1.58.54 and how can I save my boy posted on 12.12.
My quote is, if you stay you don't get to criticize, if you stay you give up fundamental criticisms that's just the deal.
No, criticism is fine. If you stay you give up fundamental criticisms. mechanisms.
You can say, I'm not staying in a relationship, I don't like the stonewalling, I think it's manipulative, I think it's bad, I think it's destructive, I think it's harmful, and I don't like it, and I'm not going to be in a relationship where emotion gets turned off to punish me if I do something wrong.
Like I'm not going to be like a Pavlovian dog that's beneath the dignity of true love.
You can absolutely say that. What's the phrase? If you stay, that's the phrase.
Now, if she says, if she's like great for 18 months and then she starts stonewalling and you say I don't like stonewalling and then she's like well I'm going to keep stonewalling and you stay, then you've accepted the stonewalling.
How can you criticize something that you have accepted?
Right? I don't speak out of my armpit, right? I'm pretty precise in what it is that I say.
[1:38:41] I don't love spicy stuff. If my favorite diner suddenly becomes only spicy stuff, my agreement to be a customer is broken when they stop serving the food I came there for. Yeah, for sure.
But you don't have to be abusive. You say, hey, can I get some non-spicy food?
Then I'm like, no, we're only doing spicy food. It's like, okay, then I'm not here.
I'm not going to stay. I'm not going to come at this restaurant.
But you get to keep going back to the restaurant that's only serving the spicy food you hate and yelling at them about the spicy food. That's crazy.
Am I wrong? Tell me, help me if I'm wrong. I would love to hear it, honestly. I genuinely would love to hear it.
Do you get to keep going back to the food that's now spicy, which you don't want to eat, and yell at them for serving spicy food when they've already told you they're not going to stop serving spicy food?
[1:39:31] If they say, we serve only spicy food, and then you stay and you order and you keep going back and you keep ordering and you keep going back and you keep ordering, you get to say, I hate the spicy food.
Maybe you like the feeling of helplessness, but you don't like being single even more than you don't like the abuse, evidently, right?
If you stay at the restaurant that says we only doing spicy food and you pay for the meal and you keep going back and you keep paying for the meal you don't get to criticize the spicy food because you're going back and voluntarily eating it over and over and over again and paying for it, right?
[1:40:10] The only chance of having a possible future would be to set the boundary.
She'd never respect you otherwise or would you respect yourself because you'd be accepting what you don't want.
What about the people who feel they wasted their time dealing with the person who changed? I don't understand that.
So to split hairs here a bit, is it correct to say that some initial criticism is okay but sustained criticism about the same thing isn't?
Okay. Come on, guys, guys.
I don't mean to sound impatient, but two people love each other.
One person is doing something that bothers the other person, right?
So let's say it's Bob and Jane. They love each other, they respect each other, they care for each other.
Jane is doing something that bothers Bob fairly significantly, right?
And Bob says to Jane, It really is really upsetting and bothers me a lot when you do this, right? What is Jane gonna do?
She loves and cares for him. She respects him. What's Jane gonna do?
[1:41:12] What's she gonna do?
[1:41:23] What's she going to do?
[1:41:28] It's gonna change. It's gonna change.
She's gonna stop doing it. Or she's gonna try and figure out why she's doing it or whatever it is, right?
So instead of a restaurant, let's say that Bob relies on Jane and Bob has some stomach issue and he can't eat gluten, right?
And Jane makes food for him. And he's like, look, I'm really sorry, honey, but I mean, I've got this stomach issue, I can't eat gluten for a while.
She's gonna make stuff without gluten, right?
Yes, she'd try and figure out with him what's wrong. She's not going to want to displease Bob because she loves Bob.
My wife asked me to jump, I say, how high? Well, she's not going to ask me to jump off a cliff.
If something I'm doing is bothering my wife or my daughter, I will change it because I care about them. I don't want them to be bothered by what I'm doing.
And that's why I said, oh, it's the pair bond. So she starts stonewalling and you say, man, it really makes me unhappy when you stonewall like I don't know, I can't solve the problems and I feel alienated and distant and right she's going to be like, oh damn, I don't want you to feel alienated and distant and weird so I'll stop doing whatever is really bothering you.
Am I, that's a healthy relationship because you all do stuff that shaves each other sometimes, right? And we all do stuff that bothers each other sometimes.
So you listen, and well first of all you just try not to get bothered by minor things.
[1:42:55] Talk and change to figure out what is the problem working out.
Yeah, because you've got a pair bond.
Does my wife criticize me from time to time? Yes she does. It's not common, but it happens and she's right to do so and I always want her to be able to do so because I want to please her.
Because I love her, right? I want to please her, so if I'm doing something that's displeasing to her, I will work to change it because I want her to be happy and I trust her.
Does that make sense? It's not a power trip, it's just you want to please people that you love, right? You want them to be happy, you want them to enjoy their relationship with you.
And if I'm doing something that's interfering with other people's enjoyment of their relationship with me and I care about them, I'll change that, right? Does it make sense?
[1:43:41] Let me know if this make any sense. Maybe you're a sadomasochist, but odds very unlikely.
Okay, so let's say you're a masochist and you want to be in a relationship where the woman's feeding you gluten when it makes you sick or you want to go to a restaurant that's spicy and kills your throat.
You're just a masochist. Okay, well, you're still getting what you want.
[1:44:03] So, if your girlfriend of 18 months develops a stonewalling habit and you say, I don't like the stonewalling, She's gonna be like, oh, geez, I didn't realize, I'm so sorry, I can understand that, or even if I can't understand that, that's what you prefer.
So I'll stop stonewalling, I'll work it, I'll figure it out, I'll do this, right, because she cares about you.
[1:44:23] It's just, okay, I know this makes sense. Okay, so, when I said, if you stay, you don't get to criticize.
If you stay, you give up fundamental criticisms, that's just the deal. Of course.
Because if your wife serves you spicy food and you don't like spicy food, like whatever reason, you got hit on the head or you just don't like spicy food anymore, you've outgrown spicy, you don't want spicy food, you don't like spicy food, okay, so your girlfriend is making food that's too spicy for you, and you say, oh, I used to love this stuff, I don't know why it burns, she'll be like, oh, okay, sorry, I mean, I don't want you to be uncomfortable when I make you food so I'll cook you less spicy food.
My wife's a vegetarian, she learned how to cook meat because I like meat.
In return, I'll do something nice in 10 or 20 years. No, I'm kidding, right? So we accommodate each other because we care about each other.
Now, if your girlfriend makes food that's too spicy for you, and you say this is too spicy, I can't eat it, and she keeps making it, and she doesn't care that it burns your throat, and she doesn't care that you don't like it, then if you stay, you can't complain.
Well, she's so selfish, she never makes the food I want.
No, but you're there because that's what you want.
[1:45:39] If you have a malevolent person in your life, There's no criticism you can give them that's greater than the fact that you have a malevolent person in your life that you're keeping around.
If you've got a criticism of a malevolent person, look in the fucking mirror and say, Why do I have this malevolent person in my life?
Instead of criticizing them, look in the mirror and try and figure out why you need this person in your life.
Why do you want this person in your life? Why are you putting up with it?
Why do you pursue it? Why do you want it? Why do you screw it?
Why do you pay for it? Why?
Oh, you're focused on changing the other person. No! Change yourself as to why you would even want that.
Yeah, she can add spice to her dish and leave it out of the whole meal. Absolutely.
There's no criticism you can have of a dysfunctional person that's more powerful, more deep, and more relevant than the criticism you should have for yourself, for having that person in your life.
Another great analogy, I feel like I'm coming up from deep beneath the ocean surface with no air, finally gasping in some fresh air and kicking and flailing as if I'm about to get dragged back down.
Don't get back, don't get dragged back down, stay on the air, stay with the air. I won't say stay on the surface, because we're deep baby, we're deep.
[1:47:07] So when I say, if you stay you don't get to criticize, if you stay you give up fundamental criticisms, that's just the deal, right?
You can criticize someone, you can say I want something to change, this food is too spicy, I don't like it when you do this, I don't like it when you do that, or whatever, right?
You know, when you get up early before me in the morning, you make too much noise in the bathroom, it disturbs me, it wakes me up, I was up late, it kind of bothers me, oh I'm so sorry, like I'll aim to be more quiet, all that kind of stuff, right? Yeah, that's fine.
But if she keeps making noise and you tell her it wakes you up and she keeps making noise and you stay, well, you can't criticize her because you're Jews again.
Does that make... help me if... I don't want to over-explain it because I'm sure it's fairly clear, but how do you...
How do we best deal with the perceived abuse that has occurred in a relationship?
So, abuse is someone who causes you reasonable and legitimate discomfort and won't change.
[1:48:05] Right? If you want to go to Chinese and your wife doesn't want to go to Chinese, that's not abuse, right?
But if your wife keeps making you caffeinated coffee when you're asking for decaf, right?
Great insight, mind blown. Good, good. I'm glad.
So, abuse! Whoa.
Alright, hang on. Battery exhausted. Alright. We'll get there.
We'll get there. We'll just swap it.
[1:48:55] Oh, that's a microphone, we want to stay off that, we want that to be Logitech Brio.
[1:49:24] All right, are we back? Let me know if we're back, if we get the new camera.
[1:49:31] We're at 36 likes and 74 views, consider dropping a like or three. We're back, yeah, okay.
I'll get the video after. So yeah, we can finish this up relatively quick.
I don't know why the battery gets exhausted because it's plugged in and I've done longer shows before.
We're not even at two hours yet. Oh well, whatever it is, there it is. Thank you Sony. Right.
Battery-exhausted is also what happens when you stay in the relationship.
Yeah, yeah, that's right. So, yeah, we're almost done here.
30 years of marriage and he is a heavy snorer. Either get it looked at or sleep in separate rooms. Like my parents, they did not break up.
Accommodation is the name of the game. That is absolutely right.
That is absolutely right. Now, snoring can develop later. It also, yeah, you can get sinus issues, things you can get, you can lose weight, you can, there's lots of things you can do about snoring.
But yeah, sleep in separate rooms. You don't just get to bitch at someone for snoring.
Snoring is a little different because it's involuntary I mean unless there's obvious things you can do like losing weight and so on but I, I don't have sympathy and I won't play into sympathy with this When people fundamentally complain about someone they're choosing to stay with like I I won't do it.
I won't do it It's wrong to do that Because I respect people I respect their choices.
They are this person is terrible Okay, then you want terrible, otherwise you wouldn't be with them, right?
[1:50:56] I mean, I'm not gay, so I never sleep with men. I don't have sex with men, I don't kiss men. I'm not gay.
So I'm not going to date a woman and complain she's not a man, right?
So, you know, if I wanted a man, I'd get a man. If I was gay, right? If I wanted a woman, I'd get a woman.
I respect people's choice, and I'm not going to go down this nonsense path of people making choices and then saying, that's not my choice, I'm not responsible for my choice, I've got to complain about the other person endlessly. It's like, no, you want to complain.
You want to complain. You want to complain.
You want to complain.
So, who am I to say, I mean, I don't think it's healthy, I don't think it's right.
But, it's literally like somebody saying, well I dated this guy, I dated this guy, he's a sadomasochist masochist and he wants to beat me with a whip before we have sex or during sex or whatever right and this has been going on for 10 years I'm completely incensed and enraged and I'm constantly yelling at him that he shouldn't do that right, yeah kids and pets have no option to walk out they get my sympathy mine too.
[1:52:08] So would you would you say if somebody says my my my girlfriend or my my my husband or my wife they keep beating me up during sex and they've said this from the very beginning and they said this is what they want and I got married and like I just can't believe it, it's so terrible, I'd be like, but do you want that?
No, I don't want that. It's like, you do.
Like people who choose stuff and then say they don't want it, I don't understand.
Like I mean, I know this sounds kind of like I just don't understand them.
I genuinely don't understand why it is that people choose stuff and then say they don't want it.
I don't understand it. Like, especially dating is not forced on you, I mean parents, yeah, they, you know, by accident.
Right? So, if you don't want a guy who beats you during sex, then don't date and marry a guy and have sex with a guy who beats you during sex.
Like, I don't know what just, like, it's almost embarrassing to have to point this out.
You know, if some guy spends a year looking for just the right car, goes out and gets, I don't know, a 78 BMW that's exactly what he wants, gets home, keeps it, and drives it, and then yells at it for not being a Volkswagen every day. That's crazy.
[1:53:24] Whatever you pursue, whatever you accept, is what you want.
[1:53:30] And I would just assume that, like you understand that for a lot of people, I mean this is kind of weird but I really believe it's true, for a lot of people complaining is a turn-on. Complaining is a fetish.
I'm so hard done by victimhood is a fetish. I mean, human beings can turn a fetish out of anything.
Pineapple salad is somebody's fucking fuckable fetish for all I know, right? But human beings can turn fetishes out of just about anything.
And for a lot of people, in particular for women, complaining is a fetish.
They just, they like to complain. It turns them on. It makes them feel like a victim, it makes them feel sexy.
And it's like, okay, so if you want to complain, and that's sex for you, I mean, it's not how I would want to conduct my sex life, but, um, my wife likes to talk on the phone during sex, she calls me all the time.
[1:54:19] What is it, there was that one thing in the motel that's the cuck chair, right?
She's my better half, yes, that's a masochism fetish, and she's got a dominance fetish, she's got a dominatrix fetish where she's got to be superior to the man.
I mean, a lot of what goes on in romantic relationships, I don't think it's particularly romantic, it's just a sexual fetish, right?
You know, the make-up sex, like couples who fight, and then they have this make-up sex. Okay, so you've got a fetish for half-angry makeup sex.
Okay, well, I'm not, I don't think it's healthy, I don't think it's wise, I don't think it's good, but, you know, I'm not gonna burn myself into a cinder trying to oppose your fetish.
[1:55:01] Victimhood would excuse you only if it were valid. But who's a victim as an adult? I mean, in personal relationships, right?
I mean, in the West, right? I mean, you're not married off in Pakistan to your third cousin at the age of 12. sympathy, sympathy, sympathy, absolutely, right?
But as an adult, I mean I'm talking to adult men and women in the West.
[1:55:22] Usually if I'm complaining about something I'm actually angry about something else, deeper, that I'm more afraid of talking about.
No, I just give people self-ownership, it's just so much easier.
It's just so much easier. I just give people self-ownership.
I just accept that they own themselves, right? They own themselves.
[1:55:51] They own themselves, and so they're responsible for what they choose, and... Right? Like, why would I, um...
Why would I want to interfere with somebody's self-ownership, right? That is kind of bright, isn't it? Let me just tone down that brightness a smidge.
Maybe not that much. Maybe not that much! Sorry! I didn't want to give everybody some sort of migraine. My apologies.
So... Yeah, I mean, if... Like, the hot girls, right? So man I talked to this guy and he was having sex with this woman He had sex with her for a year because she had multiple personalities and he found it very sexy.
I guess exciting, right? She's crazy. She's sexy. It's exciting.
Okay, so you got a fetish for crazy girls. I said that to him directly You got a fetish for crazy girls, If you don't like being beaten and or physically unable to leave them then that is a crime not a choice What do you mean physically unable to leave them?
I'm not sure what you mean Like they've got you locked in the basement, well it's kidnapping, of course that's a crime.
It's forcible confinement, unlawful confinement, yeah, that's a crime.
So, but we're not talking about, I mean I don't talk to people who are locked in the basement.
If they're locked in the basement I tell them, if they can make a phone call, they can leave!
Right, if they make a phone call, I tell them, if somebody said, Hey, Steph, I need a call and show I'm locked in this guy's basement and he keeps beating me up, I'm like, why are you calling me? Call 911, you got a phone.
[1:57:17] So, you are, um, um, Boa Mega, you are making up nonsense, right? Because we're not talking about anything to do with that.
If people will listen to your victim story, you get an out, and they get the same escape hatch.
Yeah, I mean, people own themselves, and they own the effects of their actions, and one of the effects of their actions is being in a relationship.
I hate my job. Well, change your job.
[1:57:46] I mean, complaining to me is pretending that you don't own yourself.
Well, you're possessed, no, then you own yourself, you're responsible for your choices.
[1:57:56] Well, I don't want what I have. Well, you do. Praxeologically, you want what you have because that's what you have, assuming that you chose it as an adult, right?
So, yeah, I mean, I stand by what I said and I appreciate you bringing it up and I hope that this sort of explanation makes sense, but There's a lot of women, a lot of women get turned on by complaining.
It's just part of foreplay, it's part of a sex thing.
Nagging, complaining, bitching, feeling like a victim, it just makes them feel sexy.
I don't get it, but, you know, there's a lot about human sexuality that is both incomprehensible and actually quite repulsive to me, so, I've heard someone say, people stay with other people who yell, name-call and or abuse them because they do that too. You think that is valid?
No, I mean there can be people who play the victim more and people who play the aggressor more but people.
[1:58:50] The major reason that people stay with people who are verbally abusive is because it was normalized for them in childhood and that's what they think a family is and if they were to say, I don't want verbal abuse, they would have to confront their parents and they don't want to do that because of childhood and it would be suicide to confront abusive parents as a child or it would be dangerous to the point of suicide.
So they don't want to confront their parents.
And so because they don't want to confront their parents, they normalize the verbal abuse because they normalize the verbal abuse, people verbally abuse them in general, they accept it, they handle it, they absorb it, they think it's normal, they don't think anything's better and that's just the way things are. so.
It comes out of parental stuff and I have sympathy for the parental stuff for sure.
But if you choose to be abused in a romantic relationship because you don't want to confront your parents, I'm going to respect your choice.
How do you know complaining is a sexual fetish? I didn't say always, I just said there's some. How do I know complaining is a sexual fetish?
Well, that's pretty easy. The reason I know that complaining is a sexual fetish for some people is because it occurs most in a sexual relationship.
So if you do something constantly in a sexual relationship and it's only confined to that sexual relationship, it would be in the nature of a fetish. Makes sense.
[2:00:10] I can't hear what you're saying over what you're doing. Yeah, I don't really care what people say that much. I mean, I'm an empiricist, right?
I don't particularly care what people say. I mean, I think it's interesting, and I like hearing what they have to say, but of course, in any choice between what they say and what they do, I mean, there's no question which is the truth.
There's no question which is the truth.
[2:00:34] Alright, are we closing off here? It's Christmas time for the philosopher.
Just pointing out what someone who would be a victim unlike people complaining online sorry if it's a ridiculous extreme.
Just pointing out what someone would be a victim would be a victim unlike people.
Sorry, I don't know what that means.
Something that's coming up for me about this still is the hope for a partner to have personal growth during the relationship and that if I gently complain about something repeatedly that it'll magically coincide with some growth they've had and the complaint will work, right.
So everybody has this moment, there's a real honeymoon period for the first little bit of dating, and then everyone has this moment where you want something to change in your partner. Of course. I mean, we all want things to change.
Maybe valid, maybe invalid, maybe right, maybe wrong. I don't know, but we want things to change in a partner for sure.
And you'd see how they deal with you wanting something to change and they see how you deal with them wanting something to change, right?
[2:01:31] So if they don't listen to you and with respect and try to reasonably accommodate your reasonable requests and if they just like well no you just deal with it right this is the way I am okay well then everything that comes after that is not victimhood right, so I mean and let's say you don't ever criticize your partner because you don't want to upset them it's like okay well then you're choosing to silence yourself right.
[2:01:55] Hey Steph, how would you bring the topic of circumcision to someone who is about to have a son?
Oh, you can send them my presentation, The Truth About Circumcision.
You can also send them articles that the circumcised baby's brain never returns to a non-stressed baseline.
Never. At least as far as they've been able to measure it.
You can make choices like watching this show or tipping Steph for his work.
Yes, is it fair to say that I've opened up some truth avenues in the realm of relationships and other things that we've been talking about?
Worth a tip or two and you know if you're watching this you can tip on the app, you can tip at freedomain.com slash donate and I really, really do appreciate that support, and if you could, you know, it's really, it's actually quite important, it's actually quite important to have income to cover costs and if you could do that I would really appreciate that we are trying to provide as much value as humanly possible, particularly for donors.
And so, if you could help out, I would really, really appreciate that, and it's quite necessary.
Everything outside of marriage is a chaos.
[2:03:02] Yes, the show's number is 2453, The Truth About Circumcision.
FDR Podcast is the place to go, you can just do a search for circumcision.
I also did a show with a guy who lost almost all of his penis function on a botched circumcision and his life is pretty much wrecked as far as all of that goes and can't be fixed, can't be, right?
It can be pretty brutal about that, it's a very great risk, a very grave risk.
And people don't care that much, I mean, when the government stopped paying for circumcisions and it was 400 bucks for a circumcision, people were like, nah, like most people just stopped doing it, right? So, it's really, really sad.
All right, any last tips, any last feedback?
If you want to call in, call in at freedomain.com, just send me your Skype address and we'll work it out from there.
Call in at freedomain.com, C-A-L-L-I-N.
I'm just having twin boys and I need to send this to him. Yes.
The other thing you can say is that you need to judge by the ethics of 20 years from now because when your kids get to be adults and the ethics of 20 years from now will not be that circumcision is okay.
Circumcision is on its way out. It will not be that circumcision is okay.
And the other thing too, once he has this information, once your friend has this information, he can't circumcise.
He can't circumcise.
[2:04:27] Because then he can't say I didn't know, right? He can't say I didn't know, right? So once he has this information, once you've sent it to him, he can't circumcise.
You can just tell him that, like you can't do it now, because now you know exactly how harmful and dangerous and bad it is.
So you can't do it. Like you can't, because you're, you know, if your kids come to me, and we're friends, your kids come to me and say, my god, I was circumcised, it was so bad.
It's like, yeah, I tried to stop him, I sent him all the information, I gave him all the data, all the studies, all the facts.
One of the most charismatic people on the planet gave him a whole presentation on it, and boom!
He went ahead and did it, right? So he'll have no defense. Have no defense at all. Great show. Have a wonderful weekend everyone.
Thank you Bob. Freedomain.com slash donate. Thank you for posting the link I would never have thought of complaining as a sexual fetish for women explain some of the behavior of single moms, Well, it's not just a sexual fetish for women my friend a lot of men like complaining as well, and it turns them on Thanks very much your answer Steph.
I'm very glad for it. I'm glad it was helpful, and I really do appreciate.
[2:05:21] Your question it was a great one to bring up and And if, of course, you're listening to this later, it's a Christmas season.
And if you could help out the show, freedomain.com slash donate, and don't forget to check out all of the amazing, amazing stuff that is...
Oh, you have two boys, both are not circumcised. We've watched the video, changed their mind.
Beautiful. I really appreciate that. That's wonderful to hear, Marie.
I thank you so much for listening and I'm very glad that your beautiful boys got to keep a third of their penis skin and that they weren't introduced to the planet in that horrifying way.
So, alright, thanks everyone so much. Have yourself a gorgeous, wonderful, delightful, delicious evening.
We will see y'all this weekend and I'm not sure I'll be able to do a show next Wednesday because it's around my daughter's birthday, but I'll keep you posted about that. Take care, everyone. Bye!
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