Fingers crossed I'll be able to join my philosophy family today….quick question for ya Stefan…..Do selfish people even realize when they are being selfish? Do they see the plain truth when it's pointed out to them? why are people so clueless to their selfish acts and how it causes a cascade of events that otherwise could have been avoided….example maybe volunteering their time to help elderly parents out when they are doing nothing..but others have to step in bc they won't volunteer 🤔
Stef, I haven’t found a dedicated show or summation on disassociation. Was disassociation/self distraction something you have dealt with? Is it the same as procrastination, which of course you do have a classic solo show on! Thanks
How do you know when people are lying to you?
0:00 - Philosophy Chat Introduction
0:55 - The Saga of Printer Woes
11:24 - Selfishness Denial
14:35 - Value Exchange
20:49 - Donation Discussion
22:01 - Selfishness Justification
40:48 - Cynical Views on Selflessness
44:00 - Selfish Perception
44:14 - Dissociation vs. Procrastination
48:56 - Manipulative Parenting Tactics
49:47 - Contradictory Parenting Lessons
50:21 - Effects of Dissociation
51:40 - Parents' Focus on Children
53:22 - Seeking Private Call
59:43 - Quick Politics Flyby
1:08:21 - Immorality Leading to Death Wish
1:15:22 - People Cheering on Death
1:25:04 - Responsibility in Voting
1:31:25 - Consequences of COVID
1:35:53 - Avoiding Moral Hysteria
1:42:54 - Humility in Morality
1:48:19 - Bangers Beans and Mash
The Sunday morning philosophy chat kicks off with warm welcomes and calls for donations to support the show, fostering a lively atmosphere for engaging discussions. As the conversation unfolds, the focus shifts towards exploring the intricacies of selfishness and selflessness, prompting reflections on personal encounters with individuals exhibiting these behaviors. Listeners actively participate by sharing their insights and anecdotes, enriching the dialogue with diverse perspectives. The host skillfully dissects contradictory arguments on selfishness and selflessness, injecting humor to underscore the nuances of human reasoning. Topics such as dissociation, deception, and interactions with addicts emerge, paving the way for a deeper exploration of the roots of selfish behavior and its ties to upbringing.
Delving deeper, the speaker delves into the influence of external factors, particularly parental behaviors, on one's decision-making process and sense of responsibility. Concepts like free will, personal accountability, and coping mechanisms in challenging circumstances take center stage, interwoven with personal narratives from both the speaker and listeners. The importance of self-reflection, understanding human behavior complexities, and striving for clarity amidst moral dilemmas are underscored throughout the engaging conversation.
In a thought-provoking segment, the conversation steers towards discussions on dissociation's impact on navigating impossible scenarios, the role of conscience in shaping behavior, and societal repercussions of global tensions and the COVID-19 pandemic. The speaker challenges listeners to ponder humanity's indifference towards the looming threat of world conflict and highlights societal rifts exacerbated by issues like vaccination debates. Encouraging critical thinking and discouraging reliance on unreliable sources, the speaker emphasizes the significance of self-reflection and awareness to navigate turbulent times with integrity.
Lastly, the spotlight shifts towards personal responsibility in shaping societal dynamics, with a focus on voting rights, individual accountability, and the incremental nature of corruption. Drawing parallels between personal choices and societal repercussions, the speaker stresses the importance of recognizing the ripple effects of one's actions, particularly in contexts of addiction and ethical dilemmas. Addressing the dynamics of self-improvement versus correcting others, the speaker advocates for humility, self-awareness, and moral integrity in interpersonal interactions, especially when engaging with individuals grappling with addiction. The conversation culminates in a call for introspection, urging listeners to embrace moral responsibilities and humility in their journey towards personal growth.
[0:00] Good morning, everybody. Welcome to your 23rd of June 2024 Sunday morning philosophy chat. Freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. We'd really, really appreciate that. And let's see here. Good morning to everyone, James, Tom, Beep-a-bop, Phyllisack. All right. Good morning. Good morning. Welcome. Looking fine. Greetings from Finland. Hello, welcome back. Slap a like, leave a tip, and get stuck in for philosophy. That's right. We have some exciting things to talk about today. Oh, yes. But let's start with you. How are you? How are you? How is your life? How are things in your neck of the woods?
[0:48] And wait, no, that is still, hang on, let me zoom in just a tiny bit there.
[0:53] There we go. Sorry about that. I know. I just want to make sure the video is nice.
[0:56] Nice all right quick question for you steph now spoiler spoiler turns out it wasn't a quick question when somebody says there's been a sort of a constant experience and it's no problem of course but it's kind of a constant experience when people say steph just a just a quick you know and then it's just like yes well uh it's always a deep meaningful and you know i'm not complaining about the deep meaningful questions i'm just saying you and whenever say when people say yeah quick question for yeah steph do selfish people even realize when they're being selfish do they see the plain truth when it's pointed out to them why are people so clueless to their selfish acts and how it causes a cascade of events that otherwise could have been avoided example maybe volunteering their time to help elderly parents out when they're doing nothing but others have to step in because they won't volunteer here right yeah quick question for you quick question yeah my wife's like hey quick question why why can i not print to the wireless printer because printing is largely an esoteric mystery religion that doesn't exist in the real world printing uh it's actually just easier to hire of very small people to sit in a box and write things out. Quicker, easier, and at least they respond to wireless prompts.
[2:22] I mean, I swear to Lord above, even though I've told the router to reserve an IP address, I constantly have to uninstall and reinstall printers just to get some printing. It's wild. I can't honestly remember the last time that I printed something and it just printed. I remember it was Scott Adams had a problem with one of his printers, was going to throw it off his balcony. It's just and even even if i've even tried having the printer ethernet wired into the router doesn't matter doesn't matter windows is just like no i'm gonna manage it and i'm gonna shred it, Ah, I had to print some medical records. I don't know which sucks more, printing or being sick. Yes, that's right. That's right. Well, greetings from Slovakia. Excellent. Excellent. All right. So tell me, hit me with a number. If you could be so very kind as to indulge me, what is the number of selfish people in your life? I don't mean like, doesn't have to be living with you or whatever, but what is the number of selfish people in your life? And, you know, can we just basically go with the definition?
[3:38] We know just, you know, people who don't think of the needs of others, who are just constantly angling for their own benefit, you know, that kind of stuff, right? We understand that. Zero. Excellent. excellent the worst is when a printer fails when you're in a hurry you need to always have a backup printer so i'll tell you this is the funny thing about life i had a dot matrix printer that i attached through a parallel port to my atari 800 and it never failed dot matrix printer i had a and whenever i would run low on ink i still remember you know like 45 years later i still remember the key combo i had a word processor control z o a4 was double spaced and everything bolded because that's what you do is you bold everything when you're running low on printer ink and it always worked, and now close to half a century later i have to sacrifice three chicken goats three chickens two goats and use their blood to scribe things out because the printer guards don't respond to anything. There are no printer guards. There are only printer devils. That's it. That's all we get. All right. So you got a couple. People say zero. Zero? Hmm.
[5:00] Yeah. About 10, including me. Well, that's blunt. That's blunt.
[5:09] All right. So would you like a journey through the mind of a selfish person? I guess some people would say that's every one of my shows.
[5:23] So, would you like, would you find it helpful to get a tour through the mind of a selfish person? I just want to make sure I am providing maximum value. And of course, you can donate on the app. You can donate on the website, whether it's Locals or Rumble or some other places. And you can, of course, go to freedomain.com slash donate. Freedomain.com slash donate to donate there. All right, looks like a tour through the mind of a selfish person is helpful.
[6:02] So, human beings do not function without justifications.
[6:09] Human beings do not function without justifications. So, I knew someone when I was younger. I was actually just talking about, I was chatting about that with my wife this morning. So I knew somebody, let's just call him Bob, not his real name. I knew someone when I was younger who had a pretty unique perspective on relationships. So Bob had the perspective that the purpose of relationships was to be challenged, right? So if you're dating someone, they have to challenge you. They have to attack your defenses. They have to unravel your delusions. They have to get you to the naked, brutal, ugly core of yourself. And all couples that smiled and enjoyed each other's company and got along were avoidant. They were avoiding conflict. Conflict is absolute and necessary and functional, and that's the point of an entire relationship. There's going to be this combat that somehow polishes you into a fine sheen of godlike perfection and all of the couples who enjoy each other's company don't fight and get along well you see they have this seething conflict deep down but they're wallpapering it over they're just, burying their conflict and they're smiling and getting along and of course the general idea then is, you know, it's the bottle up concept, you know, just, they're just bottling up their conflict. Thank you for the tips.
[7:39] Just bottling up their conflict. And it's going to come out in some horrible way if you don't regularly, what he referred, Bob referred to it as bleed the venom, you have to bleed the venom. So the idea is you get backed up with this venom, and you get backed up and you just have to bleed it out and it was a whole philosophy it was really quite quite wild and the idea was that you're really harsh and ugly with people but that's just being honest and direct and if they have any problem with that if they push back on that at all if they don't like that.
[8:12] Well, don't you know? They're being avoidant and defensive, right? So, yeah, Bob could really go for people. And if they didn't like that, then they were just being avoidant and defensive. So if you refuse to submit to various kinds of verbal attacks, you were being immature, avoidant, defensive, and there was something wrong with you. You were you were wimping out you were you know backing away you were you were a coward if you didn't submit to these sort of occasional eruptions of verbal lacerations i kind of laugh because you know it's funny in hindsight it wasn't super funny at the time but you know this is a long time ago now so um what is it tragedy is a comedy comedy is tragedy plus time so there was this general idea So he was an aggressive, punchy person, always restless, never able to really relax and enjoy his own company. So he was always punchy and aggressive. And lo and behold, he had a justification for it. Life is punchiness and aggression. And if you don't indulge in that, you're just not alive. You're not being real, authentic, honest. It's a sort of combination of the two plays, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and Look Back in Anger.
[9:33] Look Back in Anger. Just lacerations of verbal abuse that are justified with appeals to brutal honesty and authenticity. And anybody who recoils from this aggression is a coward, unwilling to face their own demons. So human beings cannot exist without justifications. We cannot act without justifications. All right, let me just check in with you all here.
[10:06] Contention is of the devil, yeah. Oh, look, Bob's always right, yeah, yeah. Sounds like a New Yorker, yeah, to some degree, right? I would go out of my way to avoid someone like that. You're an introvert. Well, I mean, honestly, it wouldn't just be because you're an introvert. It would be because you're not self-harming. That's a methodology or an idea that is going to result in self-harm. So, selfish people do not refer to themselves as selfish. Or, if they do, they say that that is the default position of mankind. Kind and anybody who claims otherwise is lying that everyone everyone is selfish everyone is selfish and anybody who claims to not be selfish is lying.
[11:07] Thank you for the tip, Vince. I appreciate that.
[11:13] All is predation, and anybody who claims to not be a predator is both a predator and a liar as well. So there's this brutal authenticity paradigm, right?
[11:25] Well, everybody just looks out for their own self-interest, and everybody's what you would call selfish. That's just life. That's the nature of the beast. And anyone who denies their selfishness or appears to be selfless is just a lying manipulator who's both selfish, since that's human nature, and a manipulative liar. At least I'm honest about my selfishness, these people say, and I'm not pretending to be something I'm not. In the same way that people say, that people say, well, relationships are conflict, relationships are battles, and anybody who is not fighting is not really in a relationship and is avoiding the necessary conflict by which you get polished. All right, let me just check on the messages here. Has the e-shaming started yet? Oh, and this person who says, has the e-shaming started yet, is actually demonstrating this. All humans are selfish. Right. So the, and that's a beautiful, that's a beautiful, like, thank you so much.
[12:39] Thank you. Everyone is self-interested. Correct. Anyone states anything else is evil. So this person says, this is a fantastic, thank you so much. This is from the guy Runnable. I really appreciate this. It's a wonderful demonstration. Absolutely, excuse me, wonderful demonstration. Has the e-shaming started yet? All humans are selfish. So if he believes that all humans are selfish, then clearly I would be selfish by what he calls e-shaming, right?
[13:13] So if everyone is selfish, then he shouldn't have a problem with e-shaming, right? But of course, he has a problem with e-shaming, which means he doesn't want to pay. And he wants to consume my work and my material, you know, the beautiful camera, I have a separate Zoom audio recorder, I have a very expensive amp, a very expensive microphone, and of course, i have 40 years study 45 years study into the realm of philosophy now 42 let's be fair 57 to 15 so uh he wants all of that and he doesn't want to kick in any right so he's a taker and he says and he's trying to manage what it is that i do by by saying when i ask for donations because things cost money people cost money camera equipment uh bandwidth my time uh books the study everything costs money. And so when I say, I appreciate donations, he says, you're shaming me. So what he's saying is, I want stuff for free, and I don't want to feel bad.
[14:24] By taking all of your work and giving nothing. Taking all of your effort, all of your work, and giving nothing. So he's saying, has the e-shaming started yet?
[14:35] Now he's trying to get me to think oh no well i don't want to shame people so i guess i won't ask for any support for the show oh no but of course and so it's wonderful i mean i think that thank you beautiful you couldn't uh you couldn't do it you couldn't do it any better so uh he's saying everyone is selfish by which case then i should not at all be shamed for what he would call e-shaming because i'm selfish or whatever right so he is saying all humans are selfish but he's assuming that i don't want to shame people and therefore i care about my audience and he's using the break in his own philosophy that all humans are selfish to try and control my behavior so he doesn't have to, give up any resources, in exchange of value for value right value for value right i mean we we try to treat each other as adults here right as adults with responsibility i mean i think it's a good thing in life to to be an adult with responsibility. And so...
[15:43] It is important to trade value for value in relationships. So, he says, I would think he would be providing all his knowledge for the betterment of humanity. Oh, so everyone's selfish, my friend, but I should be acting in a selfless manner. Oh, I love you. you i love you thank you so much for demonstrating exactly like you couldn't honestly i couldn't pay somebody to demonstrate things more uh perfectly i'm not paying him but so he's like everyone is selfish but i think steph you would be providing all of your wisdom and knowledge for the betterment of humanity in a selfless fashion that's beautiful man oh everyone's selfish steph i'm going to appeal to your selflessness damn it that is glorious and gorgeous and absolutely very very funny yeah the employees as well yeah i mean uh this is where we're getting all these wonderful wonderful things from so that is i mean do you understand like you see these these absolute absolutely sad and pitiful and obvious manipulations right.
[17:09] Everyone is self-interested he says correct anyone who states anything else is evil so anyone who says that self anyone who who says that a human being can be selfless is evil and then he says you should selflessly provide all of your philosophical wisdom for the betterment of humanity for nothing you know he doesn't even notice probably doesn't even notice probably doesn't even notice. And so anyone, this guy says, anyone who claims there's such a thing as selflessness is evil, and then he tries to appeal to my selflessness.
[17:51] I'm sorry, I know I'm laughing. I know that there's a lot of personal agony in this, right? This is somebody, and you know, with all seriousness, I mean, this is a person who was absolutely tragically and catastrophically exploited as a child. And he had to internalize that everyone is selfish in order to survive how terribly he was abused as a child. So, I mean, philosophically, it's funny. Psychologically, I mean, it's absolutely, absolutely tragic. Absolutely tragic. Funny how he calls out e-shaming and mockingly calls you Steffy. Is that what, did he call me that? I don't particularly care, but maybe I missed that. What did he say? Oh, yeah, Steffi. Yeah, he did. You're a Steffi. Oh, that's such a philosophical argument. Steffi, you have no feelings, don't you know? The spirit is willing to bank less so.
[19:01] Uh was listening to some of your very early podcasts while i was on a long road trip, the content was great the sound quality was entertaining your car signals and other noises were keeping me on ancient times yeah it's like uh friends of mr cairo by john and vangelis which starts with a siren and a car crash don't listen to that necessarily in your road, uh sounds like mac workplace work extra hours for no additional pay no it's worse than your a work pace. This is like work for me for free. All right. Steph, I haven't found a dedicated show on or summation on dissociation. Was dissociation, self-distraction something you have dealt with? Is it the same as procrastination, which of course you do have a classic solo show on? Thanks. So I'm here to solve selfishness and dissociation. Is that, that's the plan? That's fine. That's a fine plan. That's a fine plan. I don't deal too much with dissociation.
[20:02] And I'll get back to the selfish. Somebody says, I had friends like this. Now that most of my old friend group are in the late 30s and early 40s, I can see that the ones who thought the worst of humanity when we were teens are miserable and or drug addicted now. And they have nothing but excuses and even have an edge of malevolence towards people who are doing well. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's very rare. It's very dangerous. It's so rare to come across a troll around this community. Somebody says, how do you know when people are lying to you? I'm doing a volunteer work for people who are addicts. How do I sniff out lies and manipulations from addicts to get the medication they want? How do I distinguish between a genuine request and an untruthful one? So I'm here to solve selfishness, dissociation, and lying. All right, challenge accepted.
[20:50] Bonjour, Stefan. caught you live on my way to church gonna be honest your sermons are 300 better than my priests well thank you i appreciate that i appreciate that uh e-begging an old favorite am i selfish to expect to be paid to slap on the uniform and expect to be paid to go to work landlords utilities grocery stores have this weird hang-up about actually being given money or should money be in quotes digital representations of fiat currency but you get the point Yes, yes, yes It is tough when people ask for reciprocity It challenges people's desire and willingness to exploit others Thank you Saul H. I appreciate that.
[21:35] Steffi is a term of endearment. No, that's just a lie. Because if you are fond of me, then you wouldn't say, has the e-shaming started yet? So you're just a liar. And I really sympathize with that. Like what a terrible childhood and what a terrible life you must have to just automatically and reflexively go to lying your freaking teeth off. Like that's really tough. That's really tough.
[22:01] So he says, Steffi is a term of endearment. when right after he said called me staffy he said has the e-shaming started yet, so um like i'm sorry you're in the place in life where you just lie in the moment to have some petty retarded victory in the moment and it's really sad i'm really sad you know freedomane.com slash call freedomane.com slash call you could help out move back in with your mom and do the show for free oh yes i'm afraid that wouldn't be the free that wouldn't be free I hear what you're saying, right? Yeah, it's pretty funny. All right. Runnable sounds kind of like Bob, yeah, maybe. Maybe, maybe. All right. So, let's get back to selfishness. So, if you grow up with parents who exploit you, then you have a big problem. Are my parents immoral, or is everyone like that?
[23:07] Are my parents immoral, or is everyone like that?
[23:15] So, how did I escape what my parents did to me? Because I did not ascribe their behavior to anything other than their own individual choices. Oh, you got to get the deep drilling of this, man. I did this in a call in yesterday. I'll release it at some point with a fellow who had gone through a terrible divorce. Course so uh my mother was a violent and mystical and is i'm sure still and why was she that way, why was she that way now if i were to say that's female nature well i can never fall in love with a woman right if i say well that's how parents are then i would be giving myself permission to be an a-hole parent.
[24:12] If I say, well, it was capitalism that forced her to try to work, well, then I turn into a totalitarian socialist, and endanger the lives of hundreds of millions of people and, in fact, will get tens of millions of people killed, which is what happens under socialism and communism. If I were to say, well, she was a single mother and, you know, excuses, or my father betrayed her and she was a victim and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, then I'm going to have a soft spot and a sympathetic spot for abusive women because they're victims, right? So if I am going to try and ascribe any causality to my mother's immorality, then that shit sticks to me like burrs on elk and follows me wherever I go and grows in my soul until it eats my soul whole.
[25:05] Straight up facts. So if you grow up with selfish parents, you have a question. Are my parents immoral as individuals, or is there some external causality to what they do? Now, the whole point of free will is there is no external causality. That's the point of free will. If it's external causality, it's not free will, right? You can choose to push someone off off a cliff that's a choice that person cannot choose whether or not to fall they don't sort of scamper in the air flintstone style so are my parents immoral as the result of some external don't know category. X don't know well. They were stressed. Okay. So if you say people can be immoral when they're stressed or that's an explanation or an excuse, what happens to you when you're stressed? You could be an asshole to people. My parents were bad because they were stressed. Oh no, I'm stressed. Okay. Right.
[26:19] Permission slips to others are command orders to you. Whatever you excuse in others you order for yourself excuses for others are train tracks for you you lose your free will because you're taking away free will from others by giving them external causes for their decisions and therefore you have destroyed your own free will and you become an easily programmed npc.
[26:50] You learn your ABCs, and you learn your NPCs. So, if your parents are selfish, can you say, my parents made the choice to be selfish, it's individual to them, it's not in the category of male, female, parent, modern life, capitalism, Socialism, determinism, external factors, stress. Maybe they had medical problems, maybe they had financial problems. No! They made the choice. They made the choice. They made the choice. It's specific to them. And it speaks to nothing wider or deeper or more broad or more general about humanity as a whole. It was them as choices. So my mother made bad choices. My father made. Bad choices. It was specific to them. It speaks nothing to humanity, marriage, masculinity, femininity, stress, the modern world, capitalism. It speaks nothing to any of those things. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
[28:07] So if you have selfish parents, what's your choice? Do you say, my parents made bad choices, and they chose to be selfish, and it was specific and individual to them? Ooh, that's painful. If your parents were corrupt, violent, neglectful, abusive, immoral, looking at them and saying you are bad people making bad choices, of course what's the other external factor that people always claim and you've heard it a million times on these shows and call-in shows and other places what is the other external factor that people it's the most common external factor that people claim as to why their parents did bad Why did mommy and daddy do bad things? What is the external factor? What is the most common external factor to explain away bad parental behavior?
[29:23] While we're waiting for that, let's check in with our good friend Runnable. He says, all my comments are my opinions. Nope, they're not. You're claiming universal facts about human nature, so that's just another lie, I'm afraid. No one has free will. Human brain is structural entity with designed behavior. Steph was not loved by his mommy and his spurned owner, abandoned him, and now spends his time on the web seeking universal love. Oh, so, yeah, cheap psychologizing. So he says, nobody has free will, and yet he says that my behavior is bad because I'm e-shaming. It's just nothing but contradictions, and there's a lot of rage down here. It's very toxic, and maybe, in fact, unrecoverable for the person. I mean, if he's been like this for a long time, there's probably nothing left.
[30:24] So, as to what is the most common way that children explain their parents' bad behavior. They had a bad childhood. No, because you don't know that usually as a kid. They didn't have it easy themselves. Their parents, they had it worse. They had it worse. My parents did it too. Right.
[30:42] This troll taking away from good, meaningful conversations. No, no, I don't think so. I don't think so. This is very, very important. Somebody says, I asked my father why he initiated the divorce and it pretty much came down to him being sick of our mother talking down to him and nagging him. So we'll blub our whole family because he couldn't take it anymore. Thanks, Dad. Yes. We're getting there. We're getting there. Yes. This person wins the prize. This person wins the prize. What is it, Kaylee? Callie. Yes. The most common explanation... For immoral parenting is, I was a wild kid, I was a bad kid, I provoked them, I didn't listen, I got a felony with a bad crowd, I didn't study at school, right? The most common explanation as to why parents are immoral is that you, the child, were bad. Right? Now you the child were bad I was a difficult child.
[31:59] I was a difficult child.
[32:05] So the funny thing is this person as well round about this that means a bit of a troll right now spends his time on the web seeking universal love So do you think I've been successful and just being loved by the world if what it is that I do. Doesn't everyone just love me so much? Because, you know, I just clearly, I mean, I'm just needing the universal love because I wasn't loved by mommy and daddy. So clearly I've been excellent out here trying to get universal love. You know, you can just read what people say about me and you can see all the love come pouring in. Yeah, people say I gave my mother such a hard time as a kid. I didn't listen. I was a wild kid and all of that, right? Why was my mother bad? Well, my mother was only reacting to my badness, which made her good. She was trying to control and manage my badness, right? And that's the problem, right? And that's the problem. I was the problem. My mother wasn't the problem. So then, it's not my mother who was selfish and abusive. It was me who was bad and disobedient.
[33:17] If you want to be universally loved, give money away. Well, I understand what you're saying, but it's not real, right? It's not real. You give money away, you just create dependence and resentment. And you break people.
[33:47] Yeah, and see what happens when you stop. Artral says, most parents do not care about, do not care. Most kids are accidents of social conditioning and lack of sexual discipline but if people have no free will you can't have a lack of sexual discipline, i don't i don't consider an amoeba performing mitosis or meiosis to have a lack of sexual discipline it's funny right that's funny, uh i said that james says i once commented on my father's rather constant angry tirades and he claimed it was righteous anger meaning of course i was bad lots of ways to say it yeah Yeah, for sure. It was righteous anger. Yeah. Yeah, my mother refused to admit that she did anything wrong, and when it became absolutely inescapable, it was the fault of her doctors who poisoned her, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Epstein-Barr, chronic fatigue, you know, the whole trotting out of stuff by which she takes no responsibility, and... People who don't take responsibility are some of the most toxic environmental toxins around.
[35:02] I took my four-month-old to see my husband's relatives says this woman the first thing they asked me is if she was being good what does that mean mean for a four-month-old then they said my husband was a nightmare when he was little.
[35:21] Right. Yes. I'm sorry about that. I'm not sure. I personally wouldn't. I personally wouldn't have my child around people who thought that four months old could be immoral and would need to be punished. I wouldn't have my child in that environment at all. Any more than I'd enjoy somebody blowing cigar smoke up the nose of my baby. Like, no thanks. No, thank you. Oh yeah, don't forget peacefulparenting.com. I put it right here. Peacefulparenting.com. Explanations versus excuses reasons is difficult for me at the moment to fully understand. I remember you saying you were an absolutist and not accepting excuses and I agree that's the proper approach. Yes, yes, yes. Stimulus response, right? Now, I don't particularly mind if people say there's no such thing as better behavior, good or bad, right or wrong, unless they're hypocrites.
[36:35] So, if you say, well, I did the best I could with the knowledge I had as a parent, then you obviously never punished your children, because they're doing the best they can with the knowledge they had as children. children, right? So what happens, the problem is when you inflict brutal absolutes on your children regarding good and bad behavior, but then when you get criticized for your bad behavior, you have all the excuses in the known universe, right? So your children get no excuses, but you as a parent get excuses. That I can't do. That I can't do. That I can't to. That I won't support. So
[37:31] Oh, he's very fascinating. He's very fascinating. The irony of Steffi gets divorced and needs to move in with his mother. I will tell you this for absolutely certain. I will never get divorced, and I'm never moving back in with my mother. I can tell you this for absolutely certain. I'd rather live under a bridge. So, yeah, selfish people, they don't think they're being selfish. They say, everyone is selfish and anyone who denies it is a hypocrite. Everyone is selfish and everyone who denies that is a lying and a hypocrite. So I, this is what they say, I know the true depth and core and reality of humanity.
[38:16] And anybody who claims otherwise is a fool and a liar. So it would be like if you came across someone with a snake oil, right, with some fake cure, and this person said, drink my happy juice and you'll be immortal. Drink my happy juice and you'll be immortal. Now, of course, you know that human beings are mortal. We die. And you don't get immortality from a little bottle of questionable liquid handed out from the back of a windowless van in a Walmart parking lot.
[39:03] Why do people use irritating pet names? My brother tries that and drives me up the wall. Irritating pet names are there to attempt to provoke your inner child, right? So they, the Steffi, you know, is a term that is designed to make me feel young and helpless and they're big and powerful. Right, it's like when people come in and say, so kids, you know, like they're just trying to program you to, respond in a helpless and infantile manner while they get all the power. It's really pathetic and a transparent ploy of power-grabbing. Right. Right.
[39:45] So if you saw someone or someone came to you and said, oh, I'm just about to go and spend $1,000 on this little bottle of sparkly liquid that's going to make me immortal, you would say, that's a con. People are mortal and you don't get immortality by spending $1,000 buying some sparkly liquid out the back of a van in a Walmart parking lot. Right? So you understand, for cynics, and selfishness that is justified is just cynicism. So for cynics, all claims to virtue, independence, free will, integrity, love, beauty, truth, all claims to a positive state are the offering of immortality for a thousand bucks. It's a con. The fact is, according to the cynics, human beings are terrible, and the most terrible people are the ones claiming otherwise.
[40:49] Human beings are mortal, and anyone trying to sell you immortality is conning you. Human beings are terrible, and anyone trying to sell you virtue is conning you. They reserve their greatest cynical attacks to those who claim that cynicism is a state of mind that is erroneous to human nature it's false, it's wrong, so selfish people say selfishness is like mortality anyone who tells you they can overcome it is a con man stealing from you by denying reality, Does that make sense? Kind of like when my older sister would send my brother into an emasculated rage by dressing him as princess when we were kids. Yes, yes, that's not very pretty at all. Thank you, C2. Spark, I appreciate that. That's very kind.
[42:08] So, cynics believe in selfishness as an essential characteristic of humanity in the same way that you accept mortality as an essential aspect of humanity. It is true. Emasculation tests are funny when you're confident in yourself, right? Yeah, they are. My mother-in-law uses the term boy, and I've had to explain why I don't like that term for me as a man. Oh gosh, I'm sorry about that. Somebody says, you can claim being a faithful Christian is only something I do because it makes me happy versus not doing it. Is that selfless or selfish? I know of no other reason to be good, but because we want to be good. How one should define that sounds like a subject for an essay by psychologists and moral philosophers. I don't know if it is practical to talk about.
[43:22] She'll say the term boy is a term of retirement. Well, then just refer to her as chick. Hey, chick, how's it going? Hey, chicky-poo, how are you? Right? And she'll bristle at the disrespect. Obviously, right? It's like, wait, sorry. You call me boy, I call you chick. What's wrong with that? Oh, it's different. Yeah.
[43:49] Alright. Oh, you used bitch, actually. That might be slightly more aggressive than boy, but alright. Okay, so, yeah, I hope we've gotten as far as selfishness goes.
[44:01] Nope, they're not selfish. They don't view themselves as selfish. They just view everyone as selfish, and anyone who claims otherwise is both selfish and an exploitive liar. Alright. All right.
[44:15] Steph, I haven't found a dedicated show or summation of dissociation. Was dissociation or self-distraction something you have dealt with? Is it the same as procrastination? Which, of course, you do have a classic solo show on. Thanks. No, procrastination and dissociation are not the same thing. Dissociation results from impossibility. Dissociation results from you cannot figure out how to give the right answer to avoid being brutalized or attacked or punished or abused or neglected or something like that, right? Dissociation is when you are put in impossible situations. There's no right outcome. There's no good outcome. There's no correct answer. And therefore, what is demanded is that you cease to exist. It is a form not of abuse in particular, but of what Sheingold used to call soul murder.
[45:17] You can't win. So I've mentioned this before. My mother would give me confusing instructions very rapidly, and then she would expect something to be done to perfection. Now, giving people, giving, I mean, this would happen when I was six, seven, eight years old and onwards. So I've been given confused instructions. I need you to carry the plates from here and wash them here and put them over here and then put the spoons in over there and then do this, like all of this stuff, right? All these confusing instructions, rapidly delivered, and I wouldn't know what to do. So, of course, if you don't know what to do, normally the sane, sensible thing to do is to go and say, I'm sorry, I'm going to write this down or I couldn't figure this out or whatever, right?
[46:08] So, I would try to do it, and she's like, you're doing it wrong. It's like, well, I'm sorry, I don't quite remember. Well, weren't you listening? Just do it, right?
[46:20] So, and if I did ask for clarification, eventually she might grudgingly give it. Fine, okay, I'll tell you again. And then she'd run through it even faster. You know. So, you can't win in that situation. You can't complete the task. You can't ask for help. You can't ask for clarification you can't ask for repetition and you can't complete the task it's an impossible situation so what do you do you can't you can't win right i remember reading this book and if anybody ever figures out the title let me know it was a book uh about a woman a girl a teenage girl she was in high school and she had an eating disorder and the eating disorder came about because of an impossible situation. So she was late going to her math class. She was almost at the math class, and she realized she'd left her math textbook in her locker. And so she could not go to the math class without her textbook because she'd be punished. But if she went back to get her math textbook from her locker, then she would be punished for being late. And so she basically just had a mental breakdown and slouched against the wall and stopped.
[47:33] The object was to fail the task the object was to put me in an impossible situation, so that i could have no trust in myself.
[47:51] I mean the law is like this right i mean i've read about this with the lawyer in my novel the future which you should really check out at free domain.com slash books. But I write about this. The law is like that. I mean, you have hundreds of law books which often contradict each other and you have to obey the law. Now, totalitarianism is not strict laws. It's random laws. Right? Enforcement for our enemies, avoidance and forgiveness for our friends. Yeah, they give instructions that are unclear, get mad when you ask for clarification after you're done. They say you didn't do it right. And say, I'll just do it. The goal is to make you feel stupid and incompetent, so that they can feel better by being, quote, smarter and more efficient than a confused six-year-old.
[48:57] My somebody says my dad would always freak out at me for not knowing something i was never taught and i would tell him that and he would get more mad that i would even ask how right so the guy i was talking to last night had two very powerful call-in shows yesterday one with a guy who'd gone through a brutal brutal divorce i mean to sort of figure out why and the other was a guy who lost, millions of dollars in crypto and ended up in debt in his early 20s it was wild what a conversation that was, to try and dig into why he did all of that. It's not accidental. So, for instance, this guy, the Australian guy I was talking to yesterday, I'm not exactly outing him because the accent's right there, but he.
[49:47] His father would say to him, only an idiot makes the same mistake twice. Right if he did something wrong or what only an idiot makes the same mistake twice, and yet he also said that his father had endless arguments tens of thousands of stupid pointless petty fights with his wife only an idiot makes the same mistake twice, then why do you keep arguing your wife with your wife when it goes nowhere right it's just all these wild contradictions, right?
[50:22] Just wild contradictions. So dissociation occurs when you can't win. You cannot, cannot, cannot win. There is no good answer. It's impossible. You can't go into the math class without your textbook, but you can't go back and get your textbook because then you'll be late and be punished for that. There's no winning. You can't win. So when you can't win, you dissociate.
[50:57] Now, I mean, what was helpful with my mother, in particular, was that she was such an obvious failure at life that I just couldn't take anything she said seriously. It's a lot tougher for the kids who have high-functioning abusers, like, you know, the lawyers and doctors and, like, the high-functioning lots of social setups, right?
[51:26] All right, let me just get your, he's still doing his Steffi, right?
[51:40] I think sometimes parents are so focused on taking care of things around the children that the children have no concept that the parents are short and non-thinking towards the children. I don't quite follow that. So, yeah, dissociation is when there's no possible way to win. So, it's a really great actor who plays Maximus in the prime show Fallout. And he is dragged in to be interrogated and he's just frozen because he doesn't know the right answer to not get killed or punished or ostracized, which I guess is being killed. And he just is frozen. And he's just frozen because there's no win. You don't know what to say. There was a, what was it? Some Castle Wolfenstein video game where this you know evil german ss nazi woman is putting these pictures down and tell me what you see and you don't know what the answer is you don't know what she's looking for.
[53:00] And of course later on somebody says these pictures are meaningless she's not looking for anything there's no winning there's no right, somebody says i can attest to that my dad was pretty successful in high intelligence Yeah. And my dad was successful in many ways in his career. Got a PhD and was a geologist. An impossible situation is right, or at least it currently feels that way. Shit.
[53:23] I need to schedule a private call. And thanks, Steph. Freedomain.com slash call. Happy to help. I might have to book a little ways down. It's a... A lot of people want those. Which I appreciate.
[53:41] So, does that make sense for dissociation? When you are dissociating, you're in a situation where you can't win, can't navigate. And we're not designed for that. We're designed for action. We're designed to solve problems, get things right, get things sorted. And you can't eat. In your book, The Present, the majority of the people just sit down and wait. Is this dissociation? Yeah.
[54:15] You know, you'd be surprised I think you'd be surprised at the number of people who don't really want to live, They don't really enjoy life Life is a burden, Life is pain and more pain.
[54:43] They have an undertow of despair depression and they're hunted eternally across the bleak landscape of their bad decisions by an un-fucking-relenting conscience, they're restless they can't relax, they need constant stimulation they need to go out, they can't sit home alone they have to watch something, read something, scroll something something, play video games, pornography, dating. They have to do something, anything, because the questing beast of their own conscience is hunting them forever and ever. Amen. You'd be absolutely shocked, I think, deep down, if you knew how many people, don't really want to live. This is why I don't mess with anyone in traffic. Oh, yeah. I assume that everyone in traffic is drunken on their phone.
[55:47] Yeah. Somebody says, yes, since the suicide of my brother confronting my parents truly feels impossible, I think it would kill them. They'd probably dissociate more than me. Well, it's probably the dissociation and the lack of bonding that may have led to your brother's suicide. Of course, I don't know, but it could be something like that.
[56:12] Now, how do you know if somebody has Thanatos, if they have a death wish? How do you know if somebody kind of wants to die? Would you like a quick tip for that? Would that be helpful? Again, I want to provide maximum value to you all. How do you know if somebody has, an impulse for unaliving their health that can be part of it for sure but that's a bit of a vicious circle because the more the poorer someone's health the more they half in love with easeful death have you ever heard that phrase half in love with easeful death, this was a sort of sorrows of further thing from goethe half in love with easeful death let me just get the the quote here yeah oh to a nightingale right it's a very famous poem.
[57:22] Darkling, I listen, and for many a time I have been half in love with easeful death, called him soft names in many a mused rhyme, to take into the air my quiet breath. Now more than ever it seems it, sorry, now more than ever it seems it rich to die, To cease upon the midnight with no pain While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad in such ecstasy Still wouldst thou sing, And I have ears in vain To thy high requiem become a sod Half in love with easeful death, How do you know when people don't really want to live?
[58:26] Do you know the Guns N' Roses song, Coma? I can't get past the singer, man, sorry. Lyric, I kind of like it in a coma. I don't think I ever want to go back. Quiet whisper, I never really wanted to live. right if they do crazy things like jump off airplanes risky behavior yep that certainly is it, that's my thought too and why I feel I can't bring it up oh this is regarding your brother's suicide I also feel like I have this death wish at times do stupid things all the time better for a call in thanks again please call in please call in, Pauline says I wish you and your delightful family a very good Sunday I'll keep you in my prayers since you're a very important part of my life I have embarked on this very difficult quest to find truth and meaning, you opened my eyes and my heart. I owe you so much. Merci from the bottom of my heart, mon ami. Oh, thank you. Paulina, that's lovely. I appreciate that.
[59:24] The I can't win for dissociation is so simple and useful. Thank you. Amazingly, the best thing that helped me overcome dissociation was reading about pickup artists using agree and amplify tactic. drugs or drowning out their conscience with lies and delusion, that can certainly be it.
[59:44] All right. Do you guys mind if we do a quick politics flyby? Ooh, am I breaking my vow? It's so relevant to the conference. I don't know if you'd be interested in a quick politics flyby. Hit me with a Y if you'd like just a quick brush past the world of politics. Yes. Okay.
[1:00:34] Well, do you know, how close the world is drifting towards a world war? Right the provocations are immense the pressures are immense russia seems to be unlikely, to be allowed to survive and we've got subs off florida you've got, troop and in particular naval movements all over the world you've got china threatening taiwan on even more intensely. Ukraine, of course, is continuing its blood grind of human disassembly. So, why do you think people aren't freaking out about this?
[1:01:50] Why do you think people aren't freaking out about this? It's a bit of a mystery, right? People freak out about just about everything these days, except the potential for a planetary war.
[1:02:14] Now, for all of his faults, and Trump has many, the couple of years of peace under Trump was quite something, right? So, people, I mean, a lot of them were undone by COVID, for sure, which we'll talk about another time. But why aren't people freaking out about this? I don't believe there will be a world war with nukes around. Are they just dissociated? They feel helpless, so close their mind to it. Or else maybe they desire the war. I mean, I'm not saying everyone's going to get nuked, right? Because the leaders don't want that. but there's lots of ways to wage war outside of nukes.
[1:03:22] You know, the dark truth is a lot of people got excited around COVID because their lives were under-stimulating. Why aren't people freaking out about the potential for significant war? I didn't Selective Service just expand to 26 in the U.S.? And didn't it also start to include women? Why are people not freaking out?
[1:04:24] All the people who sort of cheer on these various regional conflicts and get behind and flags and the bio, they're cheering on death. They're cheering on mass slaughter, right? People don't get social approval and get mocked for taking things seriously. Keep the convo to show sports and work gossip. No, absolutely not. Yeah, here's the fun, like the amount of moral hysteria that have charged through society has been endless and immense, right? There are racists everywhere, homophobes everywhere, Islamophobes everywhere, sexists everywhere, the amount of moral hysteria in society. So people, oh, they don't want to deal with this, they don't want to deal with, no, people are constantly charging around with moral hysterias, right? So it's not that they're not interested in deeper things or morality or ethics or virtue.
[1:05:42] So, You know, the stories are that people get more and more corrupt, false, immoral, bullying, vicious, petty, and vain. And then there is a strike from the heavens, right? Pillars of salt, airborne diseases, or I guess some places rat-borne diseases. There is the rain that falls in the time of Noah, that people summon death and destruction, from the very skies, from the very air, due to their corruption. Why are people not freaking out?
[1:06:47] I mean, they freak out about, they freaked out about every made-up piece of nonsense about Trump and all the various things that I talked about in my shows on the untruths about Donald Trump. You know, it's a big question. I don't know the answer because I don't know that people, if people had that degree of self-knowledge, they probably wouldn't be in this state. Half in love with easeful death. I mean, they were very pro-Hillary, and Hillary wanted a war with Russia, and she wanted a war with Iraq, and she wanted more escalation, I think it was, in Syria.
[1:07:36] And people were very pro-Hillary. Biden was pretty clear about the aggression that they wanted, and they wouldn't negotiate, and they wanted to escalate. I mean, there's no, there's no, in my view, there's no way the Ukraine war happens under someone like Trump, because they would have continued to talk about expanding eastward. And Trump would have said, if you expand eastward, I'm stopping funding NATO. They would, I mean, in my view, right? I don't know for sure, but that would be the, it wouldn't happen.
[1:08:21] Immorality creates a mind half in love with easeful death. You know, if we've all done wrong things in our life and, you know, bad things in our life, I'm sorry, I shouldn't say, I know I have, right? So, but the question is, how do people live, with a bad conscience? And if you've ever known people with a really bad conscience, they're half in love with easeful death, especially when... I think deep down people know whether they can fix their bad conscience. I think they know that deep down.
[1:09:19] So, if you've got another 40 years to go and you kind of hate yourself, what is your perspective on disaster? Master you know to to not be at peace within your own mind is an absolute kind of torture that for those of us who have you know i enjoy my own company if me and my wife and i go out i get the day or afternoon to myself um i enjoy myself and and i'm happy to sit and think or listen to music or do nothing and and it's really nice my mind is a is a fun house like it's a lot of fun i have a i have a good conscience about what i've done in the world, and i enjoy my mind my life, but if you've ever known people who, just are never at peace, never at comfort, they're just tense and justifying and vain and aggressive.
[1:10:38] Don't underestimate the undertow of half in love with easeful death in the world, and maybe in your world too. Yeah, like the end of the world stuff. It's very common, right? It's common in cults, it's common in fundamentalist religions. The end of the world stuff is very common. Why would people be so keen on the end of the world or so excited and interested about that topic? Mike Cernovich talks about this, about how he was raised with this sort of apocalyptic stuff, right?
[1:11:25] I mean, I saw this absolutely brutal video about, you know, the rich guys who fled Ukraine. And at the end of it, you know, one guy was moaning because he was getting a blowjob. And another guy was dying in the battlefield and moaning because he was bleeding out. It's just like, oh, my God. It's just horrifying. It's just absolutely horrifying. Yeah, so James says, in my childhood, I knew more than a few abusive parents who were quite invested in rapture and apocalypse, expecting it to come every day. Yeah. And I mean, of course, I did all of the shows on Ukraine back in 2014, 2015, and all of this stuff was predicted.
[1:12:16] Most people live lives of quiet desperation. They're lonely. They're unloved. They've given up on virtue. They're surrounded by bad, lazy, trashy, dissociated people. They consume garbage food. They consume garbage media. They're programmed. And COVID broke people. COVID broke people. in ways that will still be being calculated a century from now, if we're around to calculate it. COVID showed so many people just how little a bond they have with their fellow citizens and how willing and eager they were to join with totalitarian forces against their fellow citizens. That has broken people, and I don't think they're coming back, because nobody's talking about it. I mean, for people who are hypochondriacs, and I say this with sympathy, it's a tough condition. People who are hypochondriacs, people who tend more towards introversion, or who have elements of agoraphobia, being locked up for a couple of years, they're not coming back.
[1:13:42] Yeah, they're not coming back. Most drug their conscience away with alcohol and weed, crack, television. There is a war in their hearts that they externalize via politics.
[1:14:04] Thanks for watching! Somebody says, I think a work acquaintance has a death impulse. One time he talked about if he was going to go out, it would be through pills. He constantly has to involve himself in petty conflicts in his personal life to distract himself. He's an older guy, no kids or family. Still takes COVID boosters.
[1:14:28] And of course, a lot of people, a lot of people have known children in their social circle, their environment within their extended family or or maybe even closer they've known children who are being abused they have all the signs it's all very very clear they've absolutely known children who are being abused and oof man if you don't, if you don't do anything about that oh my gosh, Yeah, I cannot get over the glee people had to have power over their fellow citizens, yeah.
[1:15:22] When people are unable to correct their course and their course continually leads to disaster, they're half in love with disaster. In other words, disaster is relief. See, people often like an extremity of an external stimuli because it takes them away from their own conscience, right? Your conscience is a quiet and insistent voice that generally operates in silence. Conscience needs to be optional because conscience throughout a lot of human history would just get you killed, right? So conscience needs to be silenced for the sake of survival, but it is insistent and returns because conscience is the universalization of the ethics we inflict. And we can't destroy the conscience without destroying our capacity for concepts and universalization and abstraction, which is our essence of humanity and how we survive.
[1:16:24] So, conscience is the shadow cast by our greatest power as humanity to universalize and conceptualize. So we can't eliminate conscience, it's wound into our UPB brain.
[1:16:42] We can't destroy conscience without destroying all of our concepts, because conscience is is part of that bound together, right? We can't destroy our conscience, but we do have to be able to quiet our conscience in order to survive a brutal and often hypocritical society. Do most people even have a conscience? Looking at current normie behavior, I have my doubts. There are some people who don't have consciousness of their conscience, but conscience is inescapable. Because it is wound into and bound into our universalization and conceptualization as a whole. I say human beings can't live without justifications. They can't act morally without justifications. Even the people who say, well, I'm just going to take what I want and to hell with everyone else and to do what they wilt and blah, blah, blah. Well, that's immoral. They're saying everyone's like that only, and I'm just not hypocritical about it. So they're still doing what they do. Thank you.
[1:17:58] And I think that COVID and people's response to COVID has broken a lot of people's identity. And it's very tough because nobody's talking about it. So if there's some external drama, then this is why people pick fights with each other, why husbands and wives nag at each other, why people crap on their kids, why people argue online like this guy like why do they, why do they do all of that, to quiet their conscience, that's what trolls do, trolls are trying to quiet their conscience.
[1:18:52] So yeah it's I mean rather than admit that they've been lied to about men, women will choose solitude. How many families do you think are having honest and direct conversations if they were divided over the vaccine, let's say, or divided over the danger of COVID? How many families do you think are sitting down and saying, okay, we got to talk about this, we got to deal with this, I don't want this being a barrier between us going forward. Things got kind of crazy. Things got kind of ugly. You know, you accused me of killing grandma versus, well, you just wanted everyone to die because you were too selfish to listen to science. Like, how many families were, and a lot of families were split, man. Whew. Just axed right down the middle and split in two. And, how many families in how many families are people sitting down and saying okay listen things got really really bad and now we have more facts we have more information we have more data, and we gotta we gotta work this out we gotta sort this out let's not get out from this table until we've come to some kind of resolution evolution.
[1:20:12] How many people are processing, and I talked about this the other day, how many people are processing that they hated and feared and wished to strip the rights from the unvaccinated and now the vast majority of people are functionally unvaccinated because they're not taking the boosters and the effects of the vaccines, as far as my amateur understanding goes, wear off four to six months or whatever. So they're functionally, so they're functionally have become the people that they claimed to hate and fear and loathe? How many people are processing that they have become what they hated and that's quite complex and needs to be talked about?
[1:21:03] How many people are pros how many reporters how many like how many people in the media are like you know we kind of we kind of got in line there and it turns out that some skeptics had some points, i've not seen a story where there was reconciliation post-covid yeah there's no, i wonder if that kind of story would get traction Well, it would. It would. But people don't want to look in the mirror and say, the last four years was kind of like a test. And how did I do? Somebody says, my family split on it, but now it's a hidden topic that is never discussed. The vaccine enjoys to spend significantly more time in the hospital.
[1:22:05] Yeah it's rough man, it's rough, and the parents if the parents were this way inclined right if the parents who constantly told their kids you gotta fess up if you did something wrong i would i won't i won't be mad at you unless you don't tell me the truth. I won't be mad if you tell me you lied to me. I'd just be mad if you continue lying to me. You got to tell me the truth. You got to do the right thing. You got to confess when you did something wrong. How many of those people who inflicted these standards on their children are following it themselves?
[1:22:49] How many people are saying to the skeptics, you might have had a point. So somebody says how much of it has to do with years of programming through parental abuse television and public school have people always been like this? I don't care. Listen it's really really important stop trying to figure out causality from liars. Stop it, stop it, stop it I'm begging you it is a giant fucking waste of time. Right? Stop trying to figure out causality from people who will never tell you the truth. If I were to go to my mother and say, why did you do what you did? She will never tell me the truth.
[1:23:45] Because if she was capable of processing the truth, she wouldn't have done what she did. So, oh well, maybe people are doing it because of propaganda, or maybe people are doing it because of this, or maybe people are doing it because of the government. Everybody gets responsibility. Everybody. Everybody. Do you know why? Because they demand the right to vote. They demand the right to vote, and so they get full responsibility. That's just basic it's a basic fact it's a basic fact if you say I absolutely demand, the right to cast my vote and determine the future morals, ethics and distribution of power and coercion within society but then you say well, but you know I was just a helpless victim of propaganda well you can't have both you can't, you want independence you want responsibility you want the right to vote you want all of this, that That and the other, okay. Then you can't say, well, but I'm a helpless pawn of the media. Because if you're a helpless pawn of the media, logically, then the voting makes no sense. But no. I want to vote. Okay, then you're saying, I think for myself, and I'm not just a helpless pawn of the media. So, yeah.
[1:25:04] And don't try and figure out causality from people who won't tell you the truth.
[1:25:14] Recently been doing that stopping the wondering of why abusive people in my life did what they did it doesn't matter and i'll never get a straight answer yep.
[1:25:32] See, here's the other thing, too. It's sort of like saying to somebody dying of lung cancer who was a smoker, which cigarette killed you? I mean, there was a cigarette. There is a cigarette that kills you. You don't know which one it is, right? And saying to the smoker, well, which cigarette, which one? If you hadn't smoked that cigarette, right, you'd have lived. You smoked that cigarette, now you're dying. which cigarette was that? How can they answer that?
[1:26:11] You can't answer that. See, immorality is very rarely one big, giant, terrible, awful, wretched decision. Like, movies will give you that stuff, you know? Movies will give you that stuff. Oh, this is one big, giant, terrible, moral decision. Do I go with Obi-Wan Kenobi or not? And, you know, can I trust Han Solo or not? Or, you know, like, but that's not the case. It's not the case. How do people get fat? Bit by bit, bite by bite, right? How do people end up with muscle softness? Bit by bit, day by day. So, how do people end up corrupt? Everybody thinks there's a big fiery devil that comes and offers you something and takes your soul. That's not how it happens.
[1:27:24] How do people become corrupt? Bit by bit, little by little, step by step. I wrote a whole poem about this about the Holocaust when I was in my teens. How did they get you to become a torturer in a concentration camp? How did they do it? Well, they assigned you to the concentration camp and you're out of earshot. And then they move you within earshot. And then they move you to the front of the building, and then they move you to the inside of the front of the building, and then they move you down the hall, and then they put you outside the cell door, then they put you inside the cell door, then they ask you to hand the implements to the torturer, and then they ask you to hold the prisoner down, and boom! You become a torturer. How does it happen? Well, if they dragged you from nowhere and said, go torture this guy, you'd be like, whoa, no! Step by step, incremental, bit by bit. Yeah, this is that this is it's not it's not a big fiery Ha you have a fork in the path and this way leads to petition and this way leads to paradise in this way Oh, no, no, it's not like that little decisions and the decisions are usually around a little petty things like the avoidance of instincts and I'm just not gonna tell the truth and I'm just gonna have it right.
[1:28:48] Little decisions little decisions little avoidances little compromises little bending the truth little this little that.
[1:29:03] Because each little increment is not damning. Just like each cigarette doesn't kill you, but the accumulation, you're fucked. You know, Tom Cruise has a story about, I think it was maybe in Eyes Wide Shut or something like that, that the director made him eat, 10 pieces of chocolate cake. He got dizzy, he got sick, he threw up. And he's like, loved it at the beginning, right? Because he had to retake the scene. All he kept eating was this chocolate cake. Now, Tom Cruise is a lean guy, right? He's a lean guy. So yeah, but he had 10 pieces of cake in one sitting. So he's fine. He's not fat. He's not fat. He's not fat.
[1:29:57] You know, I'm 98% off sugar, but the other day I was out with my daughter. We did a river walk, which is where we walk up and down in a river and look for fish and crave fish, and it's really fun. And we got out of that, and I was dying from heat, and I had what's called a tart ice cream. It's a tiny, tiny ice cream. Oh, no, I'm back on sugar. It's all like, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. You can take little badnesses You can, you know I mean, if you've tried a couple of cigarettes in your life You're not going to die You have a piece of cheesecake You're not going to get obese, But it's a whole series of bad decisions Any one of which you can stop That leads to the terminal rot in the soul, And we all know how bad decisions justify bad decisions. Well, I'm already falling off the wagon. I might as well get drunk. Well, I've already had a bite of cheesecake. What the hell? I might as well just have the whole, like, slippery slope, right?
[1:31:07] Somebody says, I'm having a hard time with how people are all that different after COVID. It's probably just me. It just seems like people are just like before, but with a lot less money. Well, they're not like before because there's a massive topic that consumed everyone's life for close to half a decade that they simply won't talk about. No, that's a big change.
[1:31:26] That's a big change. You know, I think about this occasionally, right? That I think of the tens of thousands of hours I spend exercising. I mean, I combine it sometimes with listening or work or whatever, but yeah, I'm like eight hours of exercise a week. It's like a half a part-time job, right? And that doesn't even count the fact as a walk around doing the show sometimes and call-ins and so on right but yeah i'm i'm in motion, And of course, I think about the people who don't move, who sit around, slouch, bad posture, you know, they've got back problems, knee problems, hip problems, they can't run anywhere, they're short of breath, and it's like, but that's because of every single, and you know, right now, I'm in the payoff or payback, right? Mid-late 50s, man. I'm in the payoff. I'm sending you this message back, man.
[1:32:26] Massage you in a brothel. So I'm telling you, I'm in the payoff or payback. So the people who didn't exercise, the people who let themselves get overweight, the people with bad drinking habits, people who smoked, you're getting the payback now. Boom, payback time. Or payoff if you've been healthy and exercised and strong and all of that, right? I just, right before the show, I realized I didn't have my glasses, and I literally had to race up the stairs. And it's like, I'm 57. I can race up the stairs. No problem. No problem. I went to the pretty fun place, Activate. It's like one of these, it's really fun. It's one of these play areas with lit up floors, and you've got to run from floor to floor, and you can crawl through lasers, and it's really fun. Fun i would actually kind of recommend it myself but it's a lot of fun and i went there and i'm like spending two hours racing and running and rolling and diving and i'm like i'm fine okay a little little little tender on the old hip because you know some of the lunge muscles are not exactly it's been too rainy up here to do much racket sports but so it's the payoff or the payback.
[1:33:37] Right when i got fat it was a slow creep one day you step on the scale and you're like holy crap yeah, yeah, yeah, and a friend of mine's wife had gained some weight and we'd mentioned it once or twice and then we were going go-karting and they had to weigh her to figure out what kind of go-kart and she was horrified and she lost the weight bit by bit by bit, bit by bit by bit.
[1:34:15] Yeah everybody who wants to wield and benefit from the slippery slope tells you that slippery slope is a fallacy slippery slope is not a fallacy slippery slope is an inevitability because once you break principle things accelerate very quickly after that right, this is one of my favorite shows yet had to reload on cpins here soon i don't know what that means but if it is your favorite show and you're enjoying it freedomain.com slash donate i really would appreciate that.
[1:34:51] How does one find oneself out in the storm of sin without shelter? The parable of the camel who puts his nose in the tent slowly but surely. The camel enters the tent and eventually kicks you out into the storm, yeah? Is reconciliation even feasible for the majority? That would require them to admit they wanted to use coercion and violence on others solely because they enjoyed the exercise of power. Admitting that would drive most people to insanity or irresolvable guilt. Well, I mean, how much of this was a violation of the Nuremberg Laws, which was one of the great benefits to come out of the horrors of Nazism in World War II. I always find it strange. People want some sort of lightning moment to quit something. No, just make a better decision and find a way. One of the few times I can catch a live stream, now I get to tip. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. That was very kind.
[1:35:53] They everybody knows like i saw this i mentioned i saw this play with this woman who would have these various health scares over the course of her life and she said and i would i would make a resolution drink more water eat more vegetables exercise and i would for a while for a while, so everybody knows exactly what you need to do everybody knows the right thing to do and the reason people get so volatile towards moralists is not because we're surprising but because we've been ignored.
[1:36:36] The lightning moment is a heart attack or some sort of culmination of consequence. Yeah, but that's not true for everyone because the people half in love with easeful death will come back from a heart attack with vague regret and resume their former terrible habits. Because they're not super keen on continuing the aliving. Why did someone become fat? Because they made a whole series of bad decisions approximately 20 times a day. To eat badly, and not eat well. And we want some big answer, some big explanation. Oh yeah, everybody knows, I used to go to a gym regularly, and for years, decades, and you know, yeah, first week or two in January it's really busy, and then everybody just goes back to being, putting plop, fat butt on the couch person. Look at me, I'm a pear. Bro, I know, like, five fat people and you're four of them.
[1:37:48] So, I hope, I hope that helps. What was the last question? There was a last question. We did selfishness? Oh yeah, how do you know when people are lying to you? Well, how do you know when addicts are lying to you? Their lips are moving. How do you know? when addicts are lying to you. Their lips are moving. Now, why say, I'm doing a volunteer work for people who are addicts? Why? Why would you do that?
[1:38:27] Why would you do that? How do I sniff out lies and manipulations from addicts to get the medication they want? How do I distinguish between a genuine request or an untruthful one? So, you understand that addicts have almost infinitely more experience telling lies than you have at uncovering them. So, what you're doing is you're saying, saying, Steph, I am playing a game of tennis against a top-seeded, top-ranked tennis player. I've been playing for a couple of weeks. How do I win? The answer is, you don't. You don't win. You can't win. How do I out-manipulate my own mother, who has, by this point, 70 years' experience or 80 years' experience in manipulating, and I don't? Well, you can't win. You know, I'm playing a grandmaster in chess, and I've been playing for a month or two. How do I win? You can't. You know, a friend of mine has four sons, sorry, three sons and a daughter, and his middle boy is really, really keen on chess, plays fantastic chess, and I'm not a bad chess player. The kid was 10 and, you know, kicked my butt all up and down the board, right? Right? And partly because it was, ah, my overconfidence is my weakness.
[1:39:57] But he'd memorized all the moves and the possibilities, and he just had a real genius for this. How do I win the game of chess? I can't.
[1:40:06] Isn't, you know, at least half of morality is humility. At least half of morality is humility. because how often do we get sucked into bad things because we are ridiculously confident of our ability to reshape people's neurons with the silky syllables of our speech? My God. I mean, you've heard the callers.
[1:40:36] Yes, I've been listening to your show for 350 years, and here's the whole series of bad decisions that I made. You know, you've heard the people, whenever I give them a big insight about their life, they're like, well, what do I do about it now? And it's like, everybody does the same thing. And they're like, oh, I knew it. It drives me nuts when people do that, and here I just did it, right? So addicts are professional liars, and you want to win against them are you kidding me do you know how shameful it would be if you could win at lying with an addict it would mean you were a completely pathological a liar who lied even more than an addict. Why would you want to be around pathological, compulsive liars and trying to figure out what the truth is? Why? You can't. You can't win.
[1:41:44] And why? Now, this is a childhood thing. Come on, we know that, right? This is a childhood thing. You have a desperate need to catch the liars that you grew up with, and you're transferring that to the addicts. Once I have established that someone is a liar, I don't make it my job to catch them out until the end of time. Because I'm not a very good liar. I'm not fantastic at figuring out who's lying. I mean, obvious contradictions are pretty clear to me. And I don't want to develop that skill. Why would I want to develop that skill? Why would I want to develop the skill to figure out who's a good liar when I don't want liars in my life?
[1:42:44] Right, that would be like trying to figure out how I can develop an immunity to a certain poison. Well, how about you just don't take the poison? Is that a possibility? ability.
[1:42:55] You know, I found a woman who's great fun to live with and to love rather than trying to manage somebody who was really difficult and aggressive and manipulative, right? I tried that. You think you're going to be better at corruption than corrupt people? Are you crazy? Vote harder. Right. You can't do that. You can't win against them. They are 150% committed with decades of experience and you're new to the game and you're going to get eaten alive. How do I out vampire the vampire who's lived for a thousand years? You can't. A, you haven't lived for a thousand years. B, you're not a vampire. Can't win.
[1:43:58] The guy who lost millions in crypto had been listening for quite a long time and he would rather lose millions of dollars in crypto than call me up for any advice, yes please do try to catch me my lies you totally should invest lots and lots of time fix me yes trust in me just in me yeah yeah that's right james it's uh the car Ah, sneaky snake guy, right? Ooh, come on, brothers and sisters, tell me this hasn't been a great show. Give me a tip or two. All right, I know someone who I distance myself from, a smart guy running his own business in his mid-twenties, but he spends his time trying to convince addicts to stop. I told him to look into his childhood history, and he was disinterested.
[1:44:53] The real addiction? You see, somebody trying to fix addicts, you think that there's an addict and a non-addict in the room? Nope. Two addicts in the room. One's addicted to a substance, the other one is addicted to addicts. That's why they generally can't help each other and that's why generally addiction is solved usually by consequences. If it's solved at all. Because the addict when he's done enough bad things with his addiction he's lied to enough people he's told to not so then what crypto coin did the crypto guy buy dogecoin i joe i will i will hold that in abeyance until the show goes out, I think it's easier to see the problems in other people's lives than to look at your own. Self-improvement is unbelievably hard and painful. Correcting others is quite rewarding. Well, you're not correcting them, right? You're just making noises and feeling like a good person. You're just making noises and feeling like a good person.
[1:46:02] This is something I read from Jung, Carl Gustav Jung, a little crazy, but some good insights. He said, thinking is hard. That's why most people judge. Somebody says, had a family member who was addicted to opioids for years and every word out of their mouth was just manipulation and angling to get resources, free rent and drug money. They were only ever truthful if it helped them exploit others. My parents enabled them. The only solution for me was to totally disassociate from them. Yeah, can't do it. Because the addict has the pain of withdrawal withdrawal, and the pain of withdrawal comes with the attack of the suppressed conscience.
[1:46:48] Thank you, Jared, I appreciate that, right? The pain of withdrawal from a drug comes also with the attack of a bad conscience. If you've lied to and stolen from your elderly parents or siblings or friends, or you stole from strangers for your drugs, or, you know, if you're a woman, wanting to do prostitution or for a man for that matter so what happens when you take yourself off the drug is not only do you get the physical withdrawal but you also get the holy crap i was a really terrible person for years yeah good luck with that uh good luck with that it's really important to know when you can help people and when people are beyond help.
[1:47:29] And maybe I'll do a wee show on that at some point when you stop. In general, I will confront people and if they say, yes, I didn't tell you the truth, I'm really sorry about that. And if during that conversation they lie again, peace out, baby. Peace out. It means they can't even hold integrity for an hour. Then, you know, peace out. I am dun-da-dun-dun, dun-da-dun-dun-dun. All right. Any other last comments, questions, tips, helps? Freedomain.com slash donate. If you could help out the show. Of course, if you're listening later, come on. This has been a banger and a half.
[1:48:20] This has been a bangers beans and mash. Franks and beans. Got into a discussion with someone about giving money to the homeless in the street. I said they were most likely to buy drugs and alcohol, but that money that got emotional saying, you don't know what they're going through. Just wondering if you've ever considered streaming on Kik. Great album. Apparently you get 95% of your earnings. I'll look into that. Thank you. I appreciate that. And I appreciate the fact that you're not suggesting that I go on a platform I was banned from years ago.
[1:48:58] All right well thank you thank you thank you my friends i really really do appreciate your time effort attention don't forget peaceful parenting.com you get the whole book i'm about 40 percent of the way through shrinking this thing down we're getting it down from about 180 000 words to 50 55 000 words so there is a shortened version of peaceful parenting coming for those who have the attention span of what squirrel all right instead of money give them a sandwich, yeah yeah some people just don't make it and you can circle back and then all that means is you don't make it either all right thank you thank you thank you for your help and support it was a lovely conversation today i really do appreciate it we've got some great call-in shows coming out Now, if you want the private call-in shows, freedomain.com slash call, and just choose the private, and we'll set it up. But appreciate that. Do it sooner rather than later, because, man, it's filling up. So, freedomain.com slash call to help out. Lots of love from up here, my friends of friendliness. Take care. Have yourself a wonderful Sunday, and I will talk to you soon. Take care, everyone. Bye.
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