KILL YOUR SENTIMENTALITY! Freedomain Livestream - Transcript

Introduction and Small Talk

[0:00] Always good evening, it is the 12th, my gosh, we're almost a week into the new year.
Can we see underneath the hat? Yeah, yeah, I'm not Tim Pool.
Look at that, look at that. Sorry, with a fringe on top.
You know, it's like, it adds a few years, that's fine, that's fine.
The years are there whether you see them or not.
But yeah, it's just a little goofy, so.
Yeah, it's fuzz, it's fuzz. All right. Well, listen, brothers and sisters, I'm here for you.
I certainly have, as usual, topics and a half. Good evening from Boston.
Caribou are in a Canadian quarter. That's right. Mr. Sideburns?
No, I've never done the sideburns. I had a ponytail in college.
Those were the day. I got pictures of them somewhere, man. I had a ponytail in college. That was something else.

[0:56] Ah i'm thirsty oh yeah no i was uh i was an arts guy i even had braids for a while, you know when you're gonna lose your hair you might as well have fun with it before it's gonna go right bitcoin is on sale deep state got rid of gonzalo lira yeah that's tragic right that's It's tragic.
Do you want a, maybe what's going on with Bitcoin?
Again, nobody knows for sure, but I have obviously some thoughts.
Be the Lee says, heck yeah, Friday stream. Listen to The Present this week.
What a great book it was and your audio work was amazing.
Really took me in. So much to rave about. We'll be sure to donate. Thanks, Steph.
Well, I appreciate that.
Just last night, I listened to the introduction of Aunt Crystal.
Ah, not a wasted syllable. Not a wasted syllable.
Every single one of the sentences reveals character, moves the plot, and is just lovely.
Just lovely. I'm, uh, I, you know, I'd like to, oh, I wrote the book, you know, just I happen to be sitting on this creativity engine that occasionally yanks me in the right direction and I just try and manage it as best I can, so.
I can't claim credit for literary possession.

[2:15] So um well of course a lot of people uh bought into bitcoin waiting for the etfs the etfs were, approved as um i think i talked about tuesday i expected them in the next day or two and lo and behold uh it was and so what's happening is as you heard me talk about um over the last i don't know weeks or months there's going to be a big rollout effort that's going to go on right Big, big old rollout effort to educate people on the value of Bitcoin, what it's all about, and so on.
And it's going to take a while for all that to roll out.
So everyone who bought Bitcoin on the anticipation that the moment the ETFs were approved, the price would go through the roof, don't understand how big trading companies work, right? They've got a new asset. And look, do you understand?
Bitcoin is the first new viable financial instrument in 400 years, right?
So what happened 400 years ago? What was the last new financial instrument that society got saddled slash blessed with?
Tell me, tell me, tell me. What happened 400 years ago?
It really is the very essence of whether you have a market economy.
What is that?

[3:40] Printing press. No, not gold. Gold is way old. Printing press is older than that. Printing press was 16th century.
So, yeah, that's right. So, you began getting company shares.
You began getting company shares. And company shares themselves followed the invention of detailed mathematical ways of analyzing risks. risks.
So shares kind of came out of the idea that if you wanted to have a trading vessel, you'd get a bunch of people to invest.
They'd each buy a piece of the trading vessel and get a share of the corporations.
And then that moves sort of into the private sector.
This is a while ago I read this, so I may have some of the details wrong, but it goes something like that.
And so, yeah, you began to, shares and the shares started up in the Netherlands and then they went to England and then they spread across the continent.
So then you could invest in somebody's entrepreneurial success, which meant that being an entrepreneur was much more valuable.
So shares were the last new financial instruments and Bitcoin is the first one to come along in almost half a millennia.
So this is a very new, it's a very new thing. And.

Investing in ABF (Anything But Fiat) and the Cautionary Tale of Debt

[4:49] I view Bitcoin as investing in ABF.
ABF is the most potent and powerful mechanism at the moment, historically speaking, end of the moment, for why you would be at all interested in Bitcoin.
Coin so bitcoin investment in atf atf i'm sorry abf abf stands for anything but fiat anything but fiat i don't care if you've got chicken bones i don't care if you've got clouds in a bag i don't care if you're invisible friends chocolate wrapper is the new currency it's anything anything but fiat abf all banks fail well they don't fail at transferring wealth to themselves but so yeah Yeah, central banks is time ticking down for the end of the economy when you get those in.
And really, you took one of the wealthiest countries in the world with the greatest free market the world has ever seen.
It took less than 100 years to put it into absolutely unsurvivable levels of debt.
So it's, you know, we exist as a cautionary tale to the future.
And that's the most value that our culture as a whole can offer is a massive dose of don't do this.

[6:00] So when you get uh the most skilled sales people in the financial world are the older people, now they salt and pepper credibility so the the most skilled sales people in the financial world are the older people the older people have less interest concern focus on and certainly you're not going to have the messianistic fervor for abf investments for bitcoin investments And so you're going to get younger people, less skills.
And of course, if somebody is really good at Bitcoin, the last place they'd probably be is embedded in the sales department, a lower ranking sales department, of some major investment company.
You can picture Aunt Crystal's gilded birdcage of an apartment.
Oh, that condo. I love the description of that condo that's going in.
Where the doors are so recessed in the wall, they look like a whole row of vertical coffins. Ah, love that. Love that description.
Gives me goosebumps.
But so you have to look at the mismatch of skill set.
It's very, very important when you're really good at something to remember that most people suck at what you're great at.
One of my biggest errors in the world was hey i'm really good at reasoning and i really love logic and i'm happy to submit to better arguments i bet you that's most people.

[7:26] Yes yes yes yes crazy i mean understandable and it's one thing you have to hope for it gets you out of your childhood but uh yeah that's not good, that's not good so if you're really passionate about bitcoin you're not a low-ranking sales guy trying to you know like bud fox in wall street trying to offload dark shit stocks on uh widows.

Predictions on the Adoption of Bitcoin by Financial Institutions

[7:56] So it's going to take a while for they're going to try and sell it themselves right, and I can tell you what's going to happen at least in my opinion sorry what's going to happen is an objective claim in my opinion is not so discard the former except the latter none of this of course is financial advice so there are going to be a couple of people in the big financial, markets uh the financial organizations the pension funds and hedge funds and all of that and they're they're going to be like okay you got to go look into bitcoin and they're going to start out looking into Bitcoin, hi, and then they're going to get that they're involved in a largely corrupt industry and Bitcoin is the future of human freedom and they're probably going to get out.
A few of them will stay in. So the fact that the ETFs have been approved, I mean, it's good, I suppose.
I try not to judge things as good or bad these days too, too much, but it is what it It is sort of a boring, banal phrase, but it's not going to be like price will double, because that's people taking their deep understanding of Bitcoin, which they've amassed over half a decade or more, and their passion, and they're going to assume, well, now this has just unleashed the same passion in mainstream financial institutions.
Like, nope, nope, nope, nope. So...

[9:23] It's just going to take a long time for the ETFs to translate into genuine, actual demand.
So the fact that you can sell, I mean, you can think of it like if you've got a car dealership and a new electric car comes out, right? Or maybe the very first electric car comes out, right?

[9:44] And the management says, you can now sell electric cars.
We can't give you any. We don't have any demos. most, but on your list of things to talk about is an electric car.
Now, of course, you know all about selling gas cars.
What do you know about selling electric cars?

[10:03] Not much, right? Not much at all. So what are you going to do?
Are you going to immediately say, wow, electric cars are fantastic.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to spend the next couple of weeks reading everything there is to know about electric cars so that I can answer every conceivable question about electric electric cars and then make a fortune uh you're not what you're going to do is you're going to say okay yeah it's a new thing i'll i'll read a little bit i'll spend you know half a lunch break reading about it but what i'm going to do is i'm going to what am i going to wait for as a salesman what do you wait for you wait for someone to come in and ask about electric cars do you sell electric cars yes we do uh but i gotta you know we certainly do and i'm happy i we got these great deals on these regular cars and all that now if somebody's like no i'm only looking for an electric car If you start to get that, then you'll start looking deeper and deeper into that.
But you're not going to just switch right over into selling your old electric cars.
It's just not going to, it's not going to, that's not how salespeople work.
They, they work like everyone.
They're very interested in making money for themselves and all of that.
So they've got bills to pay.
So, uh, if there's a lot of demand, if the customers are calling up and, oh, tell me about this new Bitcoin ETFs. I'm really interested in these new Bitcoin ETFs.
Maybe, but it's going to take a while.

The skepticism and lack of understanding about Bitcoin

[11:24] It's going to take a while. And so people, I think, who thought it was just, and you know, the halving is great, obviously, for those who've got Bitcoin, the halving is great, but remember, there's no intrinsic value.
There's absolutely no intrinsic value. So what that means, of course, is that the fact that the supply, the future supply is reduced by half doesn't automatically generate new demand, nor does it maintain existing demand.
You talked to two people yesterday. They both said Bitcoin is a scam. We're still early.
Yeah, I...
Of course, if you ask them, it's the funny thing. You ever have this experience?
It's really... I used to do it more. I find it a bit depressing, so I don't do it quite as much anymore, but I used to do this more.
And the experience is somebody says, oh, Bitcoin's a scam, right?
I say, oh, okay, can you tell me a little bit more about that? What do you mean?

[12:35] And they don't have an answer. Well, it's not based on anything.
And what do you mean it's not based on anything?
Well, it doesn't exist. It's like, well, what do you mean by exist?
Well, you know, it's not a tangible thing. It's like, well, is the money in your bank account a tangible thing?
You know, so they just, people just repeat stuff without understanding.
And I love them for that. I absolutely love that. I think it's absolutely wonderful.
I think they're absolutely wonderful.
I praise them for that. I think that they are fantastic. Like all the people who warn everyone else about, oh, this show, oh, it's so dangerous, oh, that guy is such a dangerous guy, he's a bad guy, it's like doing me a huge favor.
So you want people who don't understand anything and aren't curious about anything and are vainglorious in their own intellectual ability and only like the appearance of sounding smart rather than actually knowing anything, you want them and all of their friends to stay away from Bitcoin. coin.
Yeah, gemstones are pretty, sparkle nicely, but other than human desire, of what value are they in and of themselves?

[13:53] Right. I mean, there's no dragon game where you collect cockroaches rather than gems. Gemstones. It's always gemstones, right?
Yeah, no, look, take your stupid friends and go and pretend to have knowledge somewhere else.
You know, I know that sounds hostile. I genuinely don't mean it in a hostile way.
Please stay away from Bitcoin because you're going to do something stupid.
You're gonna lose your wallet you're gonna lose your keys you're gonna send it somewhere you shouldn't and then you'll be enraged and so honestly if you if you oh it's a scam, okay then you need to tell all your friends that pour your heart and soul into making sure that your friends also think that it's a scam and that way you can keep your money in fiat.

Overcoming doubts and embracing first principles

[14:55] So, Jared says, I had a long dark night of the soul yesterday, where I went through my first principles, going through what's real, and what's empirical, and if the thought demon is just people turned against their own subconscious, I felt so relieved after conquering that.
Yeah, sometimes it's possible to accordion zip your experience down to the point where incomprehensible fragments are all to stick out from your crushing fingertips.
Tips, so I don't know exactly what that means.

[15:25] Demons are the desire for the unearned, the thirst for the unearned, which leads to vanity, which leads to exploitation, which leads to violence.
I have a whole thing prepared for this, but I'm here for y'all.
I'm still recovering from the $15 donation night on Tuesday.
Now, I guess I was a little low energy, but I don't think you're You're paying totally for hysteria, are you?
So yeah, if you've listened for a while, hey, if it's your first time here, relax, kick back, enjoy.
And if you've been around for a while and you haven't donated for a while, you know what to do. You know what to do. Do something nice. Do something right.
And help me out. Help me out.
Gonzalo Lira, I mean, gosh, what can you even say? I mean, that's really tragic. magic.
But why would you go to a war zone and criticize the government?
That does not seem at all wise.

[16:38] How you described a demon reminds me of how you defined magical thinking. I'll donate soon.
I'm saving up for some big bills. Thank you, ground beef, for throwing a little sizzle in the pot. I appreciate that. Thank you.
Thank you, Shang-Ting. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
And hello over there on Rumble.
Are you ready to rumble?
Manoway Dan says, I have no stupid friends, though. Well, everyone usually has one stupid friend, And if you don't have any stupid friends, the math doesn't deal with death wish cancer.
I don't know. Was he sick? Was he sick?

[17:20] Yeah, I mean, sticking around a war zone and reporting against the wishes of the government there.
He lived in Ukraine. His Ukrainian wife and children left to Croatia.
Wait, he had a wife and kids who left the country and he stayed?
Why would he stay? I mean, he's a father, right?
I mean, if you want to do self-destructive things, don't.
But if you do, don't have kids. He had a heart issue.
Still lots of better ways to go, right?

Questioning the choices of staying in a dangerous situation with family

[17:58] Wasn't he live-tweeting and trying to leave the country at the same time, which also did not seem to be a very wise thing to do?
I don't know. I don't know the details, so forgive me if I'm saying anything out of turn.

[18:14] I think his father was trying to get him health care.
I'm sure what went on in that prison was beyond horrible.
But it's outside the realm of philosophy.

[18:31] Yeah, let's not, I'm sorry, I say this having theorized, but let's not bother theorizing.
He said he wanted to watch the invasion. Why? Why?
Why? I mean, you've got kids. You have a responsibility. You voluntarily brought life into this world that needs mentoring.
I don't know that you can indulge yourself and I want to watch this and, you know, it just seems absolutely the wrong thing to do.
I mean, once you have kids, you make the choice to have kids, you make the choice to be a father.
Once you have kids like a lot of the decisions are just out of your hands just you've already like i've already made that decision right you've already made that decision you know when i was a single guy yeah i could get girls numbers or if a girl wanted to get my number i could give her my number you get married like that's all no i i'm married like i don't that's not a thing that's not an option anymore so we're not going to do it like it just the great thing about commitment and integrity is it just takes a whole bunch of decisions off the table and people torture of themselves by having those decisions still on the table?

[19:44] Committed to journalism?
I don't know.
I don't know. Journalism? I mean, isn't journalism discovering things that people don't already know?
Hmm, government in Ukraine's a little authoritarian at times.
Well, they're at war. That tends to happen.

[20:22] Yeah, I'm glad I went skydiving before having a marriage or family.
Yeah, I went skydiving when I was a kid. A teenager or late teens. Yeah, it's fine.
All right.

[20:37] I'm happy to take your questions and comments, of course. Happy to chase the dandruff of thought wherever your convinced wins tell me to go.
I certainly have stuff to talk about. Looking forward to your tips. We've now passed 150.
150 premium shows. If you join, you can use the promo code UPB, all caps, UPB2022.
No sorry all caps upb 2022 uh you get a free month you can try it out see if you like it uh you get staff bot ai history of philosopher series french revolution uh you get uh the the premium search engine so you can find these great shows from uh from the past and from stuff that was never released to the general public because it was just too full of fantastical spice uh there's just so much good stuff up there i could go on and on about it but it's glorious stuff and And we're aiming to get, over the next couple of weeks, maybe another 50 older shows up.

Discussion about viral trend of pranking children with eggs

[21:41] Have you been seeing the viral trend of people pretending to cook with their kids on video and cracking an egg on the child's forehead as a prank?

[21:54] This was a throwaway quote from Jung. I've talked about it before.
I read this. I went on a holiday to the Dominican Republic.
Uh, for two weeks on my own many years ago.
And it was beautiful. What a, what a wonderful couple of weeks.
I just, I had stacks of books to read. I read on the beach.
I played beach volleyball for like four hours a day.
Um, that was, it was wonderful. It was wonderful.
And I read a lot of Jung on that trip and I came across a sentence.
I'm paraphrasing and it was just a throwaway sentence.

[22:33] And he said, but of course, he was talking about a patient, but of course, his parents, his own parents were more than half, well, no, he said his own parents were ordinary incompetence, more than half children themselves. Oof.

[22:48] Now, Amaranth is not a 57 million in tips per year. I think she's made 57 million gross over the past couple of years.
I think she's netted 57 million from everything.
And again, much though I enjoy tips here and I appreciate them, the fact that the world is giving Miss Plastic Face Cleavage $57 million and I have a $15 live stream, it's wonderful in many ways.
Honestly, I know this sounds like, ooh, a mind-bending thing. No, it's wonderful.
It's wonderful because that is where the world is. The world wants to spend money on a woman who's abused and shakes her ass at the camera.
And I don't know, I've never watched her or anything like that, but I guess she's pretty and she's got tits and she puts a lot of makeup on and she flirts with men who are spilling their seed and destroying their futures and throwing her money.
And it's like, okay, so you'll throw money at an ass, but not exhortations to virtue.
Now, a lot of philosophers get kind of bitter about this. And I understand that.
I have skirted the edge of that volcano myself on many occasions.

[24:01] But it simply means that philosophers don't have to care about the people who are throwing money at pixels of tits, rather than exhortations to virtue.

[24:22] Amaranth said her boyfriend was the one forcing her to do OnlyFans.
I don't remember she got into some conflict with her husband or boyfriend or something like that.
My shirt stays on too much. I...
I can get a little cleavage. Look at that. Take that. There you go. There's your cleavage.
A little bit of a... They call it the hairy canyon of semi-muscle.
It's beautiful, man. I think Luke Skywalker flew down that once, um...
When bombing Womp Rats or whatever he was talking about, so...

Exploring the choices and consequences of resource allocation

[24:54] I started watching Kitchen Nightmares sometimes I get the impression Gordon Ramsay could be your real brother Gordon Ramsay's a long way from my brother Gordon Ramsay does have a certain amount of humility, I've been scarred yeah it's not much hair is it?
It's really not it's not a lot of hair at all, but I was working out today pretty hard I did take a little bit of gym admiration mirror time just a tiny bit, you know, stealing a couple of glances flirting with myself, she's 30 years old, the chances of her finding a quality man to settle down with is pretty much none, right? Well.

[25:39] People are making choices, right? Wherever you put your resources is where society goes, right?
Wherever you put your resources is where society goes.
And the men who are putting their resources towards her, and obviously this is just for masturbatory fantasies.
I think this is one of the reasons why a lot of cultures and religions and so on have strongly opposed masturbation because it really distorts resources And it pushes resources away from quality women and towards women who are degrading themselves for public displays of flesh.

[26:18] And so the men get to fantasize.
And what they're doing is they're programming themselves to only respond to unattainable physical beauty.
I mean, she's definitely pretty. is not particularly my type.
That doesn't really matter.
Obviously, she's in $57 million worth of other men's type.
But you're programming yourself to be a voyeur, to be a peeping Tom, to be somebody who watches someone without there being any reciprocity. That's really sad.
And you're not getting relationship. Well, you're not getting relationship practice.
You also have a guilty secret, and you have a shame, it's definitely an addiction because throwing money at multi-decker millionaire TNA action queens is definitely harmful to your own life and your own future and all of that.
And it comes out of this intoxicated by porn half-destroyed generation of the next round of men.
Yeah, floods your system with fake dopamine. Yes, that's right. Right.
What happens, um, Dave from Tasmania, oh, excuse me.

[27:42] Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I talked about this before, many years ago.
So the way that men work is that if a woman accepts your gift, that would be the initiation of a courtship, right? right?
That would be, um, uh, if you, if you bring a gift to a young woman and she gratefully accepts your gift, that would be a courtship thing, right?

Analyzing the false sense of connection through monetary gifts

[28:10] So you don't, you don't bring, uh, the gift of something like that to.

[28:19] You don't do that to a married woman, right? You don't, you don't bring a married woman and flowers and chocolates and ask her out for coffee, right?
So when you send money to an attractive woman and she smiles and thanks you by name, you get this dopamine rush like you are beginning to engage in some kind of relationship.
It's totally false, of course, right? It's totally false. And you can see this rage, right?
You can see this rage that some men have, like, ha, ha, ha, I did just send you $1,000 and maybe next time you could pronounce my name right him, ha ha ha, you know, that kind of stuff, right? Oh, it's really tragic.
And you've probably seen that it's fairly old meme by now, but this woman, she took a picture with some guy who sent her like $10,000.
He took a picture with her and then she took his money and went on a trip around the world with her boyfriend.

[29:13] I realized that indulging in that is to participate in their self-destruction and to our own destruction.
It is not harmless, far from it, whether you accept the hereafter or just this life. No, that's why I said it's an addiction, right? And therefore it is harmful.
So, sorry, let's get back to, I've got a couple of questions queued up here.
Let's get back to the parents hitting their children.

[29:41] For a clout. You smack the egg into your child's face.
Um, so what they're doing is they are colluding in one of the most ancient rituals of corrupted parents, which is ha ha ha. Look how much power I have.
Look at these little, you know, look, uh, I have so much power.
These kids are, uh, totally under my power. Ha ha ha.
Uh, these little jerks or whatever it is, right? I mean, it's a really, a really sad thing. That's a really, really sad thing.

[30:15] But again they're doing their kids an enormous favor right they're doing their kids an enormous favor i mean to actually have a published video evidence of your parents being absolute jerks to you wouldn't that be i mean have you ever thought about it like if you were abused as a child have you ever thought that wouldn't it be wild if it had been caught in video somewhere and somebody sent you that video and said, you know, gosh, you know, I just happened to notice I had this video from a surveillance camera across the street that was, and it caught your, you know, parents beating you up or screaming at you or something like that.
I mean, you'd see that, and wouldn't that be an incredibly clarifying thing?
And wouldn't it be kind of, uh, not a vindication, because I believe if you have these memories, they're real, but, um, it would be like independent and it would be pretty tough to maintain any kind of illusions about anything after that.
So the fact that your parents have publicly humiliated you by, you know, in general, I mean, I don't publish my daughter's face.

Condemning the public humiliation of children for online content

[31:16] It's not her choice, right? I can't make that choice for her because that's forever, right?
So she's never been on a show. She's never showing her her face.
Um, so, uh, that's, that's not right.
So then not only are you publishing your kids to the world, but you're smacking an egg into their face as well. Oh, it's, it's absolutely, it's absolutely horrible.

[31:41] Absolutely horrible.
So, but it is going to be very clarifying for those kids when they get older.
And, I mean, one of the reasons why people do harm their children is for social acceptance in general.
All right. How do I deal with in-laws who try to manipulate my children?

[32:16] How do I deal with in-laws who try to manipulate my children?
Well, that's easy. You just don't let people manipulate your children.
I'm sorry, this one's easy.
Now, if you say, how do I get people who are manipulative to stop being manipulative?
Well, I don't have the answer to that. That's the bad news.
The good news is nobody has the answer to that because it's impossible.
You cannot get people to stop manipulating.
Because if they're manipulators, they're not virtuous people.
And if you try to get someone who's manipulative to stop manipulating, the only way you can do it is to manipulate them, and they're generally way better at it than you are, because you're a good person, and they've got decades and decades of experience at manipulation.
So it's easy. It's easy. The decision is easy.
The process is hard. That's philosophy as a whole. The decision is easy. The process is hard.
So the decision is, is I'm not going to expose my children to manipulative people, right? Because it's not healthy, right?
And so that's simple. Now, how do you deal with them?
Well, you say, I don't like this behavior, I don't appreciate this behavior, and I can't allow it around my children.

[33:31] Now, of course, they'll deny and say, okay, well, I don't like that you're denying, right?
And they'll gaslight and they'll just, you know, up is down, black is white, blah, blah, blah. So they're all very boring stuff, right?
And so it's like, no, I just, you know, if you're going to do that stuff around my kids, like, I can't allow that. Like, I can't allow that.

[33:51] I can't allow that.

[33:57] And if they keep doing it, just stop inviting the mother. And honestly, you just don't expose your children to manipulative people. It's not healthy. It's not right.
And you see, everyone who's around your children, they assume that you approve of. And they're right.
Of course, everyone you allow around your children, you approve of.
So when you send your kids to daycare, if there's a mean daycare teacher, your children assume that you approve of that.
If you send your children to school, and there's mean classmates, a mean school, a mean administrator, a mean secretary, a mean principal, your children assume that you approve of that.
You know of it, and you approve of it, because it's your job to know of these things.
So, what will happen is, everyone who's around your children, your children will assume you approve of.

[34:47] So, if you don't approve of behavior around your children, you don't let it around your children.
This is why children become so bitter towards their parents when they're in their teens, because either the parents knew about the shitty conditions their kids were in and were fine with it or they didn't even bother to find out in which case it's like yeah yeah you can take care of my kids i don't care who you are you can be uh you can be a guy with a whole drawer full of random and women's license, driver's licenses in a back closet somewhere. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

[35:30] The question is probably about the wife, not the in-laws. How to convince her not to invite them over.

[35:41] Do you guys, I don't know if I've ever talked about this before.

[35:50] You, I mean, it's called escalation, right?
You say to your wife, I don't like that your parents are manipulating our kids. I don't like that.
So we've got to not have that happen. Oh, I'll talk to them.
It's like, okay, but they can't do it around our kids, right?
Now, she may not agree with that. And then you're, of course, in a real bind, but you should have worked all this stuff out before you got married and had kids. I get that sometimes we come to philosophy later in life, so I understand all of that, but you just have to be there for your kids.
You know, if your in-laws come over, and, like, this is a dad thing.
I mean, I can tell you what I would do. I can't tell you what to do.
I can tell you what I would do in this incomprehensible situation, at least within my family, right?
So I'm married to some woman named Sally, right? now Sally's parents are real manipulators, and so I say to Sally, no, I don't want them around, I don't want them manipulating the kids, so you have to talk to them and have to get them to stop that, right?

Addressing the Issue with Your Spouse and Taking Action

[36:56] And then she says, oh, I'll talk to them and whatever, so they come over, and of course it doesn't change, and they manipulate the kids again, right?
So then I say, I would make sure that I was with them when they came over, so I don't want them coming over if I'm not there, right?

[37:12] And so then you, When the parents, in law, Sally's parents start manipulating the kids, you say, listen, kids, that's not right.
They're manipulating you. Do you see how they did this, that, and the other?
Right? So don't, that's not right. And please, you know, I asked Sally to talk to you about this.
I don't know if she did or she didn't, but now I'm talking to you about it.
I was hoping it would be resolved by you and Sally, but it's not.
So don't do that with the kids, please. Right?
I don't, I don't, I don't appreciate that. And it's not good for the kids.
Right so then there'll be a big upset and blah blah blah it's just a bunch of noise it passes like tumbleweeds all just a bunch of noise all just a bunch of noise and hysteria and it's just people's amygdala firing off and their fight or flight mechanism kicking in and you know most people are like houses of china dolls when the merest whiff of reality comes through their portal doors of denial so you just you just don't let it happen right now if you know they escalate to the the point where your, your, um, your wife is, you know, people always say, well, what about the escalation goes even further, right?
And my gosh, what if, uh, uh, you know, your wife then starts taking your kids over secretly to, okay, well then I don't know. I mean, then talk to a lawyer who knows, right?
Who knows? But, um, no, you just, you stand there for your kids.
And if somebody is messing with your kids, you say, please stop messing with my kids. Right.

[38:41] You just, you don't, you don't back down and for, for, for God's sakes, don't be nice.
Nice is the coward's flag for endless surrender.
You, you, you are the only people you have to be there for your kids.
Cause they're the only people not there by choice. The only people you have to look at my little devil horns here, the shadow from the cap.
So, um, yeah, you, you just have to be there for your kids.
And if people are messing with your kids, you tell them to stop.
And they're not welcome when they do that.
And there'll be a bunch of noise and whatever, right? Yeah.
You know, now that I'm older, I look back and it's like, yeah, so I've dealt with a lot of this kind of noise in my life. Yeah.

[39:29] Of course, you know, you try to get the, you know, you try to get them.
But listen, I mean, I don't want to say as the man, because it could be the other way.
I don't even know if this was a man or a woman who put this question in, but you know, you just, you stand up for what your kids need, right?
Right? And so the way that I would view it is, and this is how I've always viewed it mentally, is if I had a kid who was allergic to peanut butter and I saw someone making them a peanut butter sandwich, would I be like, oh, well, I don't want to upset them.
They really want to give my kid this sandwich. which, you know, I guess I'll just go get the EpiPen and hope he lives, right?
You would say, no, sorry, you can't. No, he's allergic.
You can't give him peanut, I mean, you should know this, you can't give him peanut butter. He's allergic.
I mean, wouldn't, is that what you would do?

Toxic Emotional Behavior and its Effects on Children

[40:16] And so toxic emotional behavior is very similar in many ways, and in fact can be even more dangerous than an allergy, because it infects the mind, right?
And it's a slow burn, undermining of the personality. So when people around your kids and they're doing something weird and toxic, they're just trying to feed your kids something they're allergic to.
They're trying to set your kid up for emotional failure, for further manipulation, for thinking that, you know, and it's really about you as a parent.
If I let someone toxic around my daughter, what would you think of me as a parent?
All right hey steph what's with adults who want to indulge at the expense of the children growing up in the adults growing up the adults would have loud family parties well past midnight with lots of alcohol around children of all ages yeah so that's um and this is part of the egg smacking um you wouldn't believe how many parents take deep devilish delight in corrupting their children.
You wouldn't believe the number of parents who take deep delight in corrupting their children.

[41:31] So if you have lab parties with drinking and screaming and dancing and all of that well past midnight on a regular basis you're just corrupting your children you're interfering with their sleep you're telling them that alcohol means more to their parents than they do now parties can be a lot of fun as kids i mean one of my best memories as a kid was i was about five years old and my mom had a friend whose husband was a very successful pilot and they had a huge house they had a a a pool in the backyard that was enclosed.

[42:05] Which was unheard of back in the 70s in England. And one New Year's Eve, we were there for a party.
And it's funny, I remember, I was so unsupervised. It was crazy.
I remember roaming around the house and I found a book. I started reading it.
And I don't know what the name of the book was. If anybody knows, you can let me know.
But I do remember it was about a pilot in the Israeli Air Force.
And at one point he got half melted by some fire in his plane.
And I was like, I shouldn't have been reading that at five or six years old, but I was.
But anyway, there was a fantastic party.
They knew how to party. It was the 70s, man. So it was probably kind of gross if I was to see it objectively. But back then it was just a huge amount of fun.
And it was dancing. And I got these streamers and somebody gave me these streamers.
And you held onto one hand, you threw the odds and the ribbons went across the crowd. And they had this huge room.
There were hundreds of people having this great party. and it was just an absolute blast.
But yeah, it's a lot of corruption, right?
Question for Steph. When I find myself role-playing with myself, I'll still find myself saying, I don't know, and although my inner Steph says, yes, you do, I still find myself fogging out until I finally end the internal conversation.
What tips do you have for this cycle of emotionally disconnecting during these role-playing, figuring out if I really don't know?

[43:25] Yeah, so, I mean, yes, there's times when you just don't know.
So that's, you know, that's fine.
If you're in a situation where you should know, but you don't, the question to ask is not, I don't know. Sure you do.
The question is, I don't know who pays if I know, who suffers if I know, against whose interest is it that I know, right? right?
If I have the answer to this, right? If I have the answer to this question, who in my life will experience that the most negatively?
Does this make sense? I know I'm phrasing it badly. I can't quite get the assembly of train cars together in the right order.
I got the train somewhere in the middle, but who's most convicted if the evidence is shown?
If I know the the answer to this. Now, of course, the other thing, and I had this whole, I had this out with a caller.
I did two call-in shows yesterday.
One was with a guy who dated his ex-therapist. That was quite exciting.
But he kept taking, like, well, my parents, but they didn't mean to.
They, you know, that wasn't their intention.
It's like, so there are things that you just can't know. know.
Right. So why did my mother hit me? Why did my mother hit me?

[44:53] Have I ever said I know why? I don't think I have.
Have I ever said that I know why my mother hit me?
No, not dating a therapist, dating his therapist.
Now, it had been a while and all of that, But yeah, so will I ever know why my mother hit me? Will I ever know?

The Unanswerable Question: Why Did My Mother Hit Me?

[45:17] Will that ever be an answer I will have? Yeah, that's right, Kairos. I will never know. I will never know why my mother hit me.
There are two reasons for that. One is, of course, that she'll never tell me the truth because if she's going to beat children, then she's going to lie, right?
So I will never know why my mother hit me because she'll never tell me the truth.
That's number one. Do you know what number two is?
What is number two?

[45:48] What is the number two reason I will never know, why my mother hit me?
She doesn't have the self-knowledge to know how would i know that does she even know i don't know i don't know she might know but never tell me right i don't know but i would never trust anything she says it doesn't matter actions matter more than words she doesn't probably doesn't know or remember no that's none none of that's true because you aren't an abusive person no i can can imagine evildoers.
I wrote a whole evildoer as a central character in my novel, The Future. I understand evildoers.
Why will I never know why my mother hit me?
No, we already went through She Lies. What's the other one? Because she won? Nope.
Because she won Oscar? Nope.

[46:50] Well, this is tricky, right? So, you know, be patient.
The reason I will never know why my mother hit me is that if there was a reason why my mother hit me, she wouldn't be immoral.
Do you understand?
If there was a causal reason why my mother hit me, let's say I found out that she was absolutely possessed by some demon that took complete control of her body, and that demon was what hit me then I would forgive my mother because it wasn't her choice to hit me but where there is choice there is no answer do you follow where there is a choice there is no answer, because if there's an answer there isn't a choice, if someone hits you because they they were just turning around making some grand italian gesture to tell a story they didn't know you were back there then the reason they hit you is by accident and therefore you wouldn't press charges against them because they just hit you by accident, so there's a reason why they hit you they didn't know you were there we've all had that if you're you're married, like my wife moves like a stealth bomber, a very tiny, short, cute stealth bomber.
And so sometimes I'll turn around. She's just there. My daughter does the same thing.

[48:16] So, I'll turn, oh, sorry to meet you, step on your toe there, right?
As opposed to someone who, you know, walks up and stomps on your toe because he's upset with you, right?
So, why did she hit me? There is no why.
There is no why. There's no dominoes. Because if there are dominoes, there's no moral judgment.
Something which is dominoes involves no moral judgment, right?
The rock bouncing down the hill that lands on your car isn't aiming for your car, it's not trying to get vengeance against you, it just landed on your car. Bad luck, man.
But it's not a moral thing, right? Unless someone pushed it.
But, I mean, just the rock, right? Because that's all causality.
Why did the rock land on my car? Well, it got dislodged from up on the mountain.
Why did it get dislodged? Well, there was a rainstorm.
Whatever, right? So you can go back to that causality, right?
There was no good reason to hit.
No, you're not understanding. And I'm sorry, this is probably just me not explaining it well.
What is a good reason to hit a child? There was no good reason to hit.
I'd like to hear this, really, genuinely.
What is a good reason to beat a child?
I want to unpack this in case I'm missing something here.
Right, there was no good reason to hit. Okay, so tell me, what is a good reason to beat up on a child?

[49:36] Reasons equal excuses reasons are a claim of an abdication of free will reasons are, well i hit you because i was hit as a child it's like nope a brain tumor yeah i i i write about this in my novel the future right yeah if somebody has a brain tumor then if my mother uh had a brain tumor and that caused her mental disintegration well but then of course i know that none of that That was the case.
I know that there was no external cause for her hitting me. I know that there were zero excuses.
How do I know that?
How do I know that there is no why my mother hit me?

Exploring the motivation behind childhood abuse

[50:31] How do I know that? How do you know that if you were abused as a child?
How do you know? For sure.
Yeah. She hit it when convenient. That's right. Yeah. So if somebody has a brain tumor and they have no self-control, they'll hit you anywhere.
They'll just, whatever. Like, it's like an epileptic attack, right? I mean, it's just going to strike you wherever and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
So yeah, there was, why did she hit me? Because she chose to.
Why did she choose to? There's no answer to that.
Because it's free will. Do you see what I mean?
Why did she hit me? What was her motivation? maybe she was trying to protect me maybe that like so when so this is all back to like when i say i don't know yes you do so why did my mother hit me i don't know yes you do it's like no you don't you genuinely don't you've no idea she chose to well why did she choose to no no answer to that there's no answer to that because the moment there's an answer to that it's no longer a choice right.

[51:36] Do you see what I'm saying?
It's like, if somebody pushes you off a cliff, well, why did you choose to fall?
I didn't choose to fall. Somebody pushed me off a cliff, the falling was inevitable.
The falling was automatic after that, right? That's gravity, mass, attraction.
A user on Locals claimed earlier today that his father's evil was because he was weak.
That's all mysticism to avoid the immorality of what was done.
I don't give people causality without cause.
That would be a paradox. I don't give people causality without cause.
I did a low energy show on Tuesday because I was sick as a dog with a cold, but still I show up to philosophize. Right?
Yeah, I mean, if somebody tackles you because you're about to walk into traffic and you were too involved in your phone call or whatever, okay, they're helping you.

[52:46] So, all right. So, yeah, when you say, I don't know, yes, you do, say, okay, if the knowledge is there and valid, but you're barred from it, just ask who profits from you not knowing, and that's probably the place to go.
And but no there's no answer I just assumed my parents were assholes says Dave and they weren't truly good to anyone and I was an easy target, now I I.

[53:17] I've got to tell you, this is one of the hardest things in philosophy.
It really is one of the hardest things in philosophy, is to stop giving people excuses.
And the word arsehole is kind of, well, my parents were arseholes.
No, they weren't. Because I bet you there were times where they were actually quite civil.
When the cops were around, when the teachers were around, when other authority figures were around.
Were your parents arseholes to security guards at the airport?
Were they arseholes to customs officers?
Were they arseholes to police who pulled them over? I bet you they weren't.
You see, my parents were assholes as saying, well, they were in the category called asshole and that encompassed everything they did. Nope.
No, they weren't. They absolutely weren't. Your parents were not assholes.
Your parents were jerks when they could get away with it, when they chose to, when they wanted, when they evaluated that it was better for them in some manner to be mean or bad.
But they weren't in the category called assholes.
Because assholes end up in jail.
Right? I mean, people who are just absolute assholes, like they yell at everyone, they punch the cops, don't ever do that, right?
They just get mad at anyone who tries to arrest them, they just escalate it all, they just go to jail.

[54:31] Oh he was a cop okay but was he then an asshole to his own boss was he an asshole to the guy who was up for promotion who was going to promote him or blah blah blah right so taking away excuses, taking away excuses from people is really really tough but it's absolutely essential essential.
My parents were typical boomer narcissists. And again, you've got all these categories because you want to do things to shield yourself from looking at the dark heart of free will choice.
You love to give people categories to take away looking at the dark heart of their free will choice.
Now, why is it so important to not give people categories that take away their free will choice?
Why is it so important to never give people categories that take away their free will choice?

[55:45] Yeah, so you don't give them to yourself. Every category that strips other people of free will autonomy that you create and hand out encases you as well.

The importance of not giving people categories that strip away free will choice

[56:00] Yeah, it takes away your own. That's right.
He was super stealthy and played games always with a smile so they behaved badly because they chose to behave that way. Yeah.
Yep. And there's no answer as to why.
Do you understand that it's the evil people among us who invent these answers?
And you're constantly, well, why is this person the way they are?
Ah, because of X, Y, and Z. Well, why is he a bully?
Because he's bullied at home. Nope. That's not why he's a bully.
Did you remain heartbroken over your relationship with your parents, or did you eventually get over it?
I sense the incursion of a massive false dichotomy.

[57:00] Did you remain heartbroken over your relationship with your parents?
Why would I be heartbroken over my relationship with my parents?
Or maybe I'm missing something.
Why would I be heartbroken over my relationship with my parents?

[57:23] I'm certainly happy to be schooled on this, but I don't quite understand.
Dead, why would I be heartbroken of my relationship with my parents?
I mean, I didn't choose to have them in my life, right? They were just dangerous, violent people that I had to survive.
I mean, it's like being unjustly imprisoned and thrown into a cell with with some violent guy.
You just have to try and find a way to survive your time with him, right?
Without getting killed or maimed or brain injured or whatever, right?
So you get unjustly imprisoned. You get thrown into a cell with some violent guy.

[58:22] And afterwards, you finally get out. I'm thankful to never see this person again, this dangerous person who terrorized you for years.
So did you remain heartbroken over your relationship with your cellmate, or did you eventually get over it?
So I'm sorry to sound, I'm not trying to be obtuse or anything.
I'm just trying to figure out why would I be heartbroken over having to survive violent people?
Are you saying I should be heartbroken because they shouldn't have been violent people?
But that would put the wholeness of my heart utterly under the control of violent, evil people.
Why would I do that? How could that be moral to say that the wholeness and happiness of my life is utterly under the control of dangerous and violent people who abused their power over me when I was a helpless child?

[59:43] Thank you, Josh. I appreciate that.

Challenging the assumption of having good parents

[59:49] But you would not, but you expect to not have a good relationship with a cellmate.
With a parent, you assume it should be good. Having good parents is important, isn't it?

[59:59] That's kind of bitchy, frankly. Having good parents is important, isn't it?
Are you really telling me who's burned up his entire public reputation on the altar of peaceful parenting? Are you really going to tell me, in some lecturing tone, that having good parents is important, isn't it, Steph?
That's really bitchy, man. That's really petty. Which is unusual for you, and I say this with sympathy and even some affection.
That's pretty shitty, you know. Having good parents is important, isn't it?

[1:00:32] No, I don't think so. That's why I never put any effort into becoming a good parent myself, and never wrote any books about it and never talked about it and never did published podcasts and articles and interviews.
And no, no, that's, I don't know, man, that's really, that's really provocative, man. That's really provocative.
Oh, dear, oh, dear. Now you're gaslighting me. Oh, sorry, Steph, but I'm not trying to lecture you.
No, I think you, personally, if I were in your shoes, you just should take ownership for being that kind of person for a brief moment.
We can all do it. We can all do it, but don't gaslight me now.
That was a pretty, pretty bitchy thing to say.
And, and, right, that's not.
But then, oh no, I didn't mean to. You've misinterpreted. That's not, no, no, that's, that's just, I've triggered your parental alter.
So I know I'm not having a conversation with you anymore.
So I'll just wait for your parents to calm down and then hopefully you'll return to the conversation.
But it's funny, this kind of possession, right?

[1:01:31] All right, let's see here.

[1:01:39] On this topic, doesn't the avoidance of the categories try to eliminate one of our skills as humans to group things together as a way to think faster, basically without any sort of labels, aren't we making thinking harder?
Are you saying that we shouldn't pursue knowledge that doesn't exist and somehow this makes thinking harder? I don't understand that.
Society sells a myth of parental relationships that can be difficult to let go of.
I don't know what you mean by society, and I don't know what you mean by cells.
I do think that bad people would rather you attach to a category rather than their individual actions.
Well, I'm your mother. It's like, then you should parent well.
Because it was dysfunctional, you were robbed of having a good relationship with them. Doesn't that cause you a great deal of emotional pain?
It causes me pain. I've been trying to figure out how to deal with that my whole life.
All right. I want to make sure that this is handy for people. Let me see here.

[1:02:51] Was it easier for you to dismiss it since your mom was violent and your dad was not there?
What would you say to people who it wasn't so cut and dry?
Wow, really, I'm triggering people here. This is pretty wild.
Everyone's gone from friends to not friends like that. Not everyone.
Was it easier for you to dismiss it since your mom was violent and your dad was not there? What would you say to people who it wasn't so cut and dried?

Childhood Experience and Clarity of Perspective

[1:03:22] So you're saying that my childhood was easier and that's why I have more clarity? Is that...
So you're saying that my childhood was easier, and that's why I have this perspective?
I don't quite follow that. It wasn't so cut and dry.
So you're saying I'm kind of like a kid lifting a light weight thinking I'm a bodybuilder but the weight is just like the weight of my childhood.
It's just kind of really light. Oh man, that's pretty funny.
Wow. Wow.
That's wild.

[1:04:10] Hello, Paula. Welcome to the party. It's quite a gathering tonight.
Let's see here. I'm asking because lately I felt sad all over again about my own relationship with my parents.
I want to know if you're still in pain or if you overcame it.
I don't know what either in pain there means or overcame it means.
Without the label, we are making assessing other people more difficult.
Without the label, we are making assessing other people more difficult.
So I think I understand. So you're saying my parents are assholes, That's why they do what they do.
And I'm saying your parents are sometimes, they're not in the category assholes.
Sometimes they choose to behave like assholes and that makes them dangerous.
But sometimes they choose not to behave like assholes. Maybe you're saying that makes them even more dangerous.
My mom was super nice in public.

[1:05:29] Ah, let's see here.
It says, therapists have told me that it's a pain I'll have to learn to live with forever, but sometimes I feel resolved and other times heartbroken.
I wonder if I'll ever fully accept the loss of good parental participation in my life.
Therapists have told, so if you had abusive parents, that's a horrifying pain, burden, and loss you have to live with forever?
Like when other people have parents to turn to, I don't. And in those moments, I feel pain.
I thought that was something everyone who has abusive parents feels.
Do you not, have you never seen the upside to the downside?
You don't, you don't see the upside to the downside?
Okay, I'm happy to be schooled on this as everything else.
Do you genuinely believe that the book Peaceful Parenting, or all the stuff I've talked about throughout the entire show and history, do you really, really think that this show would exist if I hadn't been abused as a child?

[1:06:57] Just out of curiosity.

[1:07:07] No, of course not, of course not.
So, now, of course, I would have some caution, personally, around therapists who make money listening to you complain about your pain, saying, oh yeah, no, this pain's going to be with you for the rest of your life.
Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching.
You think I'd be a rich tech guy? Probably, yeah, I'm sure that would be the case.
So yeah boy you're going to have to keep coming back for these treatments boy you can never get over this pain.

The Sadness of Having Bad Parents

[1:07:56] Tell me a little bit about, the sadness sadness.
Other people have these good parents. You have bad parents.
And also, just give me a sense of your, like, what decade are you in?

Therapist's Cash-Only Policy Raises Questions

[1:08:36] In New York City, therapist only took cash. I wonder why.
Maybe she needed money to pay off the muggers on the way to the subway.
I feel like I'm missing something essential to human life. That's the pain.
I'm in my thirties. Right.
Are you a father?
Are you married?
Are you married and hoping to become a father?
Are you hoping to get married? Oh, there's a female, sorry. Are you a mother?
I'm not a mother yet. that still haven't figured that out. Are you married?
Are you not married? Okay.
Are you in your early, mid or late thirties?

The Fertility Journey in Mid-Thirties

[1:09:57] Mid-thirties.
Where do you view yourself in the fertility journey?
Where do you view your mid-thirties status if you don't have a husband and, you're not aiming to get pregnant anytime soon? Just out of curiosity, I mean, I don't know what you, think or don't think about these issues or these areas, is, but once the door is almost closed, do you want to become a mother?

[1:10:53] And you can always email me calling at if you if you want i'd like to have a family but i don't pick the right people, okay so the one thing that's happening is or the two things that are happening is that you feel that you're in perpetual pain because of your parents' immorality, and you also can't choose the right people.
What if these two things are related?
What if those two things are related?
Then it would be the case that your parents are choosing your partners.
Your parents are choosing your partners so you're drowning in a sea of assholery right, you are cursed with pain you are cursed with pain, because of your bad parents pain.

[1:12:03] Oh you dated a married guy who has his family yeah, So, your parents put a curse on you, I assume for failing to conform with them.
You believe that curse, therefore you have endless pain.
Because you feel you have endless pain and are kind of cursed, you can't have quality people around you, and therefore your genetics are expiring under the shadow, under the striking shadows of your savage parents.

Falling for Someone: The Pain of Realizing Their True Nature

[1:12:50] Because there was a time you didn't know, and maybe you loved them, and were heartbroken when you realized they were jerks.

Boomer Narcissism: The Genetic Destruction of Self-Consumption

[1:13:14] Yes, boomer narcissism, this average in self-consumption, destroys their genetics.
There's more categories alright, if this would be helpful I mean I can do a call in show in particular but if it would be helpful to people I can tell you how to avoid this, endless sorrow of having had bad parents I can get you out of there it's going to be a little bit like Velcro on the nads or Velcro on the wherever for the ladies but I can tell you I just if it's interesting to people as a whole, I can tell you, Is the grief or grieving process what is missing? No No, Please do, do. Get back in touch with the anger. No, the anger can kind of bind you back in there.

The Pain of an Impossible Resolution

[1:14:35] Maybe my pain is a hope for an impossible resolution that will never come.
Yeah, maybe. But how would you ever answer that?
I can tell you what did it for me.
Eight simple words. Ah. They doth bring us aloft like doves with hot air balloons on their backs.

[1:15:08] All right, here we go.
So I was born to a thorny, spiky womb of violence and vengeance, penniless and madness, crazy bouts of affection, rollercoaster, emotional manipulation, followed by half abduction to a new continent, followed by, Complete mental paralysis, emotional collapse, and institutionalization.
Violent, unstable, dangerous, manipulative woman.
This is who I happened to be born from.
Are you ready for the eight words of liberty? Are you ready for the eight words of liberty?
My mother was violent, crazy, unstable, got worse, tortured, paranoid, Thanks for watching.

[1:16:12] All right, you guys can guess which words are coming, right?
Are you ready for the eight words?
Oh, I'd like you to sound off.
What does this have to do with?
What does this have to do with?
What does this have to do with?

[1:16:54] What does this have to do with me?
Oh, it has to do with something, Jared. What does it have to do with me?
She was crazy. She was violent. She made bad decisions.
She went for the wrong men. She lived by her looks. She didn't pursue virtue.
She didn't have self-restraint. She didn't have responsibility.
She didn't have maturity. She hung around shitty people. What does this have to do with me?
What does this have to do with me? Ah, but she raised you. No, she didn't.
I was dropped into a zoo and learned to live with the lions.
What does this have to do with me? She went nuts, not me. She was violent, not me. She was abusive, not me. me? What does this have to do with me?
You're all evil people. They want to use their violence to pound their madness and their corruption into your soul. Pound, pound, pound.
And we're like soft wax. Oh, okay. Ooh, ha ha.

The Impact of a Criminal Mother on Identity

[1:18:03] And I know we have to conform and we have to get along.
I get all of that. We got to find a way to appease and you got to manage and you you've got to tiptoe and you've got to do the do-si-do and all of that kind of garbage. Yeah, okay, get it.
Someone's got a gun to your head, your mouth, whatever platitude, so you can get out of the room, right? You get out of the room.
My mother did really, really evil things.
What does that have to do with me?
I mean, can you imagine?
You arrest a mobster And then you take his whole family His kids to jail, His 11 year old kid Never worked in the family business You take the kid to jail Right The kid would say What?
What does that have to do with me?

[1:19:03] Like that Soprano kid, Meadow, whatever her name was, saying to Tony Soprano in the car, are you in the mafia?

[1:19:13] What does that have to do with me? Did we arrest a whole gene pool for one evil person? No. What does that have to do with me?
My mother committed legit crimes. She committed legit crimes.
She was a legit criminal. People always forget that. Oh, your mother's a legit criminal.
If she did the stuff in public that she did in private, but she would have been arrested. No question. And she would have done some hard time.
So she's a legit criminal.
Even by like modern standards, right? Certainly in a free society.
So she's a legit criminal. She committed all these crimes.
I didn't choose to be there. I couldn't choose to leave. What does it have to do with me?
It was just somebody I had to survive. I gained some skills from that survival too and I hope that you're benefiting from some of those skills. I know that I am.
I learned to be pretty quick with the reflexes and pretty quick at pushing back at the madness and that's done a whole lot of good in my life and yours too, I hope. I know for millions of people around the world it has.
What do her choices have to do with me? None of them had to...
See, understand, if someone's a narcissist, that's a great thing.
You say, oh, she's a narcissist. Okay, I don't know, whatever.
Let's say she was a narcissist. Okay, she was a narcissist.
That's even more of a reinforcement of the sentence. What does it have to do with me? The whole point of being a narcissist is it doesn't have to do with anyone else.

[1:20:36] She did her own thing she indulged her own worst impulses, she dated whoever she wanted to she left her kids and went off to other countries to chase guys and left us with almost no money and we had to go to friends' houses and ask for food and she just went and did her own thing what has this got to do with me?
No decision she made had anything to do with me but it's in boarding school oh I'm going to have some more fun on my own cough, I mean, she was an incredibly selfish person.
By definition, what does that have to do with me? I'm not letting any of her sins stamp me, right?
Why would I let her sins infect me? me.
I was an innocent bystander. It's like some guy robs a bank and you drag all the people who were lining up to see the teller and the cleaning people and you drag them all off to jail.
Why would you do that? Some guy committed a crime. Other people happened to be around. You take everyone to jail.
What are you, Stalin? Are you the NKVD? Gestapo? Bye, Poe.

Witnessing a Crime and Victim of Abuse

[1:22:04] I'm witnessing a crime. Excellent. Stay there. We'll arrest both you and the criminal.

[1:22:12] I was just a witness to a crime and a victim of crime. An innocent victim of crime. Innocent crime victim.
Oh, but I must be sad until the end of time because I was an innocent victim of endless crime.
Oh, that does sound like the beginning of a poem, doesn't it?
What does it have to do with me it was a violent woman I didn't choose to be there I no society didn't help me they left me on my own good luck with the giant crazy German lady.

[1:22:50] What does that have to do with me, the good thing of course is that when it comes to a lot of social norms I'm like what does that have to do with me, Yeah, everyone in the fight is guilty. Yeah, yeah. No, like, why on earth would I take as any stain on my soul that society abandoned me to a child abuser?
I mean, the stain is on the child abuser's soul. The stain is on the soul of my father and all of my relatives and everyone else who knew, the hundreds and hundreds of people who were around and who knew. you?
Why would I be sad because hundreds of people completely failed in their right to protect me and their obligation to protect me?
Why would I feel bad that other people fucked up?

[1:23:43] I mean, if some drunk driver crashes his car, do you throw yourself in a fire?
Oh, well, uh, he really fucked up, so I have to burn.
I'm sorry i don't mean to make light but i don't understand i don't understand, yeah they fucked up they made bad choices they did immoral things they're evildoers, what does that have to do with you why why do you arrest yourself when you convict others.

[1:24:24] Did you see it? I don't know. What was this collective punishment?
Well, I, as the innocent victim, must go off to jail with the perpetrators who beat me up as a child.
I must be sad for all time because other people did evil unto me and society did nothing.
To protect me. And they sent me back. Every single teacher. They knew. Sent me back.
Every single relative. They knew. Sent me back. The time my mother called the cops on me.
The cops came and lectured me. Just got to listen more to your mother.
What we have here is a kind of generation gap. And.

[1:25:11] Back to blue. Back to blue. blue.
They didn't call child protective services. They didn't, uh, and I, you know, this could have, that could have done some good.
I was still only 11 or 12 at the time.
Yeah. Could have done some real good. Could have helped out.
People could have sat down and said, well, geez, you know, you're going to be paying God forsaken amounts of taxes for the rest of your natural existence.
But Hey, on the other hand, at least we'll completely ignore you.

Society's Endless Failures in Protecting Children

[1:25:32] Even when the cops are called on you as a child.
Why does that like, what does society's endless, this unbelievable fuck-ups regarding child abuse. What does that have to do with me? Society fucked up, not me.
Hundreds and hundreds of people around the world fucked up, not me.
And it's not like that changed hugely once I became an adult.
I mean, I've been pretty open about my child abuse. And what does society do? It abuses me.
Sorry, don't be too loud, because I get it's not funny, but it kind of is in a way, right? Right.

[1:26:09] Boy, you know, it's really horribly abused as a child. Oh, let's abuse this guy now as an adult. Call him all kinds of terrible names.
You know, it's like, okay. So society hasn't learned anything.
It's great. So I don't have to martyr myself to help society. Thanks, but.
This is why it's become observational for me, right? I certainly did my best. Certainly did my best.

[1:26:42] Does this make sense? What does that have to do with you?
Society fucks up legendarily, tragically, and endlessly with regards to children.
I mean, with regards to so many things, but with regards to children in particular.
How does that stain you?

[1:27:03] Well, officer, my neighbor did beat up his children, but you know what? I'll go to jail for him.
I did you know about it no I wasn't even in the country I've never actually I just moved here I, didn't know the guy it's just that today I I guess but you know I'll go to jail for him why why would you go why would you go to jail for this guy who beats his children well.

[1:27:34] I don't know I uh, I just feel, I feel responsible. Cop would say, listen, what does this have to do with you?
What does this have to do? This neighbor you never met beat his kids.
We're going to arrest him, take him to jail. What does this have to do with you?
What are you doing? This is why, like, I don't understand what everyone is like.
Oh, but my, my parents and my mourning and my sadness and my, my guilt and my, I don't, again, I'm like, Like, maybe I'm just being completely blind to all of this, but you're all innocent victims, brutalized by immoral people.
I'm happy again to be schooled.
But what does their evil have to do with you? Well, I was stuck there.
Yeah, that's what made it evil.
It was even worse that you were stuck. Well, they raised me.
Yes, they had an influence on you. Yes, they had an influence on you.
But what's always missing for people, it's the solipsism of sadness and, and all of that. And it's like.

[1:28:52] The reason your childhood never feels like it ends is because society still supports your parents.
In general, for the most part. Except here, a couple of other oases around the world.
The reason why your childhood feels like it never ends is because society as a whole still supports your parents or other abusive parents.

Society's Relieving Individuals of Moral Obligations

[1:29:17] Now, we can say, oh, this is so sad, I feel so betrayed, society says, So it's like, no, society is just relieving you of obligations.
Do you know how difficult it would be to try and save a society that acted in a truly moral fashion?
That would be some seriously difficult and dangerous work.

[1:29:45] You know, if there's a couple of tigers mauling some guy in an enclosure, And you want to go down and save him. And then you realize he's already dead.
You now don't have to jump with the tigers. Do you see what I mean?
It's really sad that the guy's dead.
But it means that you don't have to jump down with the tigers.

[1:30:27] Let's see here my friend recently posted a picture of himself with a woman at a concert i thought she was pretty i was confused a little mad he was with her because i went to that show with him turns out it was me i sincerely thought it was someone else not realizing that it has shaken me a bit right and there's an old saying about how i read this poem many years ago this statement about sunscreen or whatever, like, you won't realize until much later on how great looking you were when you were younger.
Oh, I have a little bit of a muffin top. It's like, yeah, but you look back and you'll be like, man, you look great, right?

[1:31:07] Okay, like Mark Dice. You can chase a bar of silver or a bar of chocolate.
Should he chase down those who chose the chocolate? there is a coin metal store in the strip mall they made bad choices not him why is it his problem to educate them it isn't of course that adults be held to the consequences of their choice, yeah the the pain that lingers from your childhood is the recognition that society still sides with your abusers in that if you talk about having been abused in general society will instruct you to have pity and sympathy for your abusers and to forgive them and to be the big a person and to be nice and to be kind and to be generous.
So the reason that your childhood doesn't end is you're still, with abuses in your life.

[1:32:00] I wouldn't have anyone in my life who would ever side with an abuser.
Why would I have someone like that in my life?
So you've got to look around and say, are there people in your life who would lecture you to have sympathy for unrepentant child abusers?
A woman says, my sadness came from not having my mother when I gave birth because we put them where they belong, which is not in the picture.
So you give birth, and there is no mother to comfort you and help you after.
It's just you and your husband. As my husband said, be glad our family is not here because they would make the situation horrible.
He was right, but the sadness of not having what other people have was still there.
Not for my parents, but for what should have been. Oh, no.
No. No.
No no no no no that that i i can't let that stand and and i'm normally like i'm normally like big sympathy guy with that no no no no you can't let that stand.

The Danger of Sentimentality

[1:33:13] No that's just a form of self-torture that is that is that is masochism that is a form of self-abuse, oh but if my mother had been this wonderful kind caring and she's not in this gap and missing and like no no no they're just that you're absolutely torturing yourself that is just continuing the the verbal abuse of your parents on yourself with sentimental fantasy, agony, pain, regret.
As if there's some alternate dimension, where your mother was a good person. No, everything that's in the past is cemented in absolute.
They are who they are. Fantasizing that they could have been different is torturing you.
It's torturing yourself. It is a form of self-harm. To me, equivalent to cutting.
No. Don't do it.
That's the dark side of sentimentality. Sentimentality is the self-torture of provoking loss by imagining something that never existed.

[1:34:19] Sentimentality is the exaggeration of emotion based on impossibility.
I am the walrus, I don't know what that means, yeah, you're just, you're taking a wound and thumbing it, salting it hurting it, poking it you know, it's like picking at scabs until they bleed open again.

[1:34:59] Yeah, sentiment, that kind of sentimentality is just a way of inflicting further pain on yourself.
I'll tell you in a sec.

[1:35:16] So I'll do voluntary pain. Yeah, working out can sometimes be painful. I'll do voluntary pain.
I have a sore throat tonight. I'll do voluntary pain.
Sorry I'll do involuntary pain I want to do the show so I'm choosing right I don't do involuntary pain.

[1:35:38] I don't do involuntary pain and imagining there was some, I mean I remember this when I was in boarding school at the age of 6 I would pretend that I had a mother to miss and I would cry about it and it's like I mean I get it I was 6 years old or whatever I mean but but, No, your husband's right. I wish I'd had a good mother.
But you didn't. But I wish I had.
Why would you expend emotional energy torturing yourself with the impossible?
If I woke up every morning tortured that I wasn't still 20, How would that add one shred of happiness to my life?
Or torture that I... My God, I'm still bald. I check every morning. I'm still bald.

Stripping Sentimentality: Manifesting the Ideal in Ourselves

[1:36:50] And every sentimentality that you put to cloak and paint over evildoers is a lack of manifestation of it in your life.
I don't wish for the impossible because that strips me of the capacity to manifest the ideal in myself.

[1:37:23] I steadfastly, this is a just, it's a matter of mental discipline.
I'm sorry to be annoying, but it's a matter of mental discipline.
Don't torture yourself with imaginary opposites that cause pain to no purpose.
It's like the people who torture themselves. Oh, if I'd never talked about IQ, I never would have been deplat, my, my, my.
I did what I did. I knew I did what I did. I have no regrets about doing what I did.
I have no regrets about changing course. Fine.
I don't have sadness that I had a bad father.
I have resolution to be a good father.

[1:38:32] No don't honor evil people with grieving grieving is for when good people are taken from your life, that's grieving you know i mean i look at my wife and i know that the price of our love we just had at our 21st wedding anniversary, the price of her love is going to be immense loss.
That's the price.
Now, I'll probably go before she does, just statistically.
So she'll have a couple of years of intense sadness and loss, and I think that's really terrible. I'm sure she'll grieve.
So grief, God, save your grief for people who've been wonderful to you.
Don't grieve assholes celebrate their absence and imagining that, recasting assholes as saints and heroes caring, kind, considerate, moral decent, courageous people, is incomprehensible to me They are who they fucking are.

Choosing Madness Over Me

[1:40:02] My mother chose madness over me.
When I had a tumor removed from my neck, do I grieve? What if that tumor had been a wonderful second brain that gave me even more creativity?
What if that tumor had been my very best friend? Friend, what if that tumor had been an angel from another universe who filled me with light and wisdom and love? That would be insane.
Get that thing out of me.
Set fire to it with extreme prejudice and hope it never comes back.
What if that woman who cheated on me and set fire to my car and...
Said that I attacked her when I didn't and got me thrown in prison.
I really miss her because what if she'd just been this wonderful, virtuous love of my life?

[1:41:24] What if my mother had a virtuous twin and they'd been switched and, you know, like, this crazy?
Why would you torture yourself by claiming to miss that which did you harm?
Why would you torture yourself by claiming to miss that which did you harm?

[1:41:49] I'm genuinely baffled.

[1:41:56] That's voluntary pain, and it's voluntary pain based on the impossible.
What if everyone had been the exact opposite of who they actually are? I'm going to miss that.
Every morning, I awoken. I awake filled with salty tears because once more in the chill, grim, grey, pre-dawn light.
I open my curtains, I gaze out across the view and I never ever see the white city of Gondor wherein I can go and munch on half-explosive, little tomatoes and then run off a cliff on fire.
Okay good luck with happiness then that the impossible does not manifest itself in my life i shall spend the rest of my life mourning what why why why why why would you do that, i think this comes up since i told myself stories of us being such a great family and i also bought into the extended family's narrative dave i can't even tell you the amount of impatience I have for you right now.

The Impatience for Self-Imposed Narratives

[1:43:19] Doesn't mean I'm right. I'm just telling you.

[1:43:25] Oh, my God.
Dave, that's, again, parental alter egos.
I just told myself stories of us being such a great family, just voluntarily, just out of nowhere, with no obligation, no pressure, no nothing, no requirement. I just told myself stories about how great my family was.
Not to survive, not because I had to, not because I would be punished if I criticized my family. I just add a whole cloth and nothing.
I just made up all these stories.
And I'm the only one responsible for it. And there was never any need or pressure to do so. It was my choice. Come on!
You can't say such unschooled things at this level of education.
You can't do it. You've got to catch yourself.
You think you just made up these stories? I just made up all these stories about how great my family was.
Yeah, welcome to the party, pal. We all did.
We all did. Because we had to.

[1:44:32] How do you think the criminals who abused us, if that's who they were, how do you think they got through life and society?
We shut up. Why did we shut up? Why didn't we tell any mom? Why did we sit down with our teacher and say, you know, I'm getting beaten at home, or this is my... Why didn't... Because it was heavily dangerous.
It was forced on me. The narratives stick now. Yes, it was to survive. Right.
So you told yourself these fairy tales because you would have been beaten if you didn't.

[1:45:02] Somebody puts a gun to your head and says, recite this ancient text.
Okay, I recite this ancient text.
What does that ancient text have to do with me? It's just something I was forced to say. It's not a contract that's enforceable.
What does it have to do with you? Yeah, there was a bunch of shit that you were forced to say because family was screwed up. What does that have to do with you?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, mouth this, ancient Aramaic that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, say the rituals, get to bed without a beating. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I said the rituals too. Yeah, absolutely.
I wrote a letter. When I was in boarding school, I wrote a letter every Saturday to my father. Every Saturday I wrote to him. Why? Because he had to.
After your haircut, young Mr. Molyneux, you sit down and write a letter to your father. Okay.
Because they'll cane me if I don't.

[1:46:07] Dave says, yes, and I was verbally beaten. Verbally beaten?
Verbally abused? I think you mean verbally abused. Yes, and I was verbally abused as an adult when I called out the narratives as BS, and I stuck around for years fighting the BS as Nadal believing it would change.
Oh my gosh. Listen, Dave, you got to get this at this point.
You've been around for a long time.
I'm sorry to sound annoyed. I really am, but I am.
It's going to leave a mark, just so you know. It's going to leave a mark, but it's all right. It's all right. Now, simple fact, simple point of fact, my friends.

The Loss of Free Choice After Violence

[1:47:04] Once people have been violent with you, you can never have a free choice with them.
Once people have been violent with you, you can never have a free choice with them.

[1:47:24] Once people have been repeatedly violent with you as children, you will never regain free choice with them.
So you say, well, I stuck around for years fighting this, believing it would change.
You had no choice. You don't spend time with people who've been violent with you because you'll never have a choice in the matter because it's programmed.
A guy who's been in combat, like brutal hand-to-hand street combat, can he go and watch a war movie and not be triggered? Nope.
Josh says, my mom grabbed my neck as a threat when I was an adult in my late 20s when I started confronting this stuff. Right.
You can't have a conversation with people who've used violence against you.
You certainly can't have a conversation with people willing to use violence against you.
My parents forcing me to promise to do better in school. I thought to myself, how can I promise that?
I can't just will to do better. Eventually I said, I'll promise to try and do better. This satisfied them. I never had great scholastic success.

[1:48:27] No, but you can will to do better in school. Sure you can.
Now they didn't tell you how but you can will to do better in school you can will to study more you can read more you can will to go and get a tutor or ask them for a tutor you can will to spend more time if the teacher has any after school programs, you can do online learning that's like to supplement your knowledge base there's lots of things you can do to do better in school they just didn't tell you these things things, right?

[1:48:59] My mom grabbed my neck as a threat when I was an adult in my late 20s when I started confronting this stuff.
That's horrible. Yeah, see, everyone's just focusing on the downside.
I get that, and I sympathize with all of that. But what's great about that?
What's liberating about your mom grabbing at your neck when you have concerns about about how she parents.

[1:49:31] Is it just horrible?
Nothing is better than the freedom. Nothing's better than the freedom. Yeah. Yeah.
Ooh, thank you for making it clear.
Thank you for making it clear. Yeah, I like had a girlfriend once, and the only way we could ever, if she had, we had a conflict of some kind, the only way she would ever resolve the conflict is me admitting I was wrong.
So after a while i'm like ah you know i'll do it you know i'm sure sometimes i was in the wrong so i'll do it but not a hundred percent right and so eventually i was like no i'm not wrong about this one hmm no i'm not wrong about this one and she just escalated and i was out.

Escaping Hysteria and Leaving Toxic Relationships

[1:50:24] Yeah my mom screaming at the top of her lungs throwing cushions around the room because because I ask her to stop boring me with her endless court battles.
At least diminish it a little bit. It's like, okay, even the tiniest bit of rational preference I have results in crazed hysteria.
Peace out, and thank you. Good night. Steph Bott has left the building called Motherland.
And I've never looked back.
Other family members won't get into details. doesn't hugely matter not even asking you to trust me because i know what happened uh yeah other family members like yeah that's fantastic i you know i appreciate the clarity of your statement oh but i'm so sad that they were so clear what ah but if they weren't clear then but everyone here is pretty clear it's all clear everyone's saying pretty clear.

[1:51:25] I'm sad that I don't have nine legs so I could play intense millipede basketball, be fantastic I'm so sad that things are the opposite of what they are, you're saying that your emotions should strive after the impossible, that is simply reproducing bad parenting.

[1:51:56] The woman says, my father physically attacked me in my adulthood, and it made me ask myself if I would ever treat him the way he treated me.
The answer was no, and it put reality in perspective.
Well, of course I'm sorry that your father physically attacked you, ever. An adult, I assume he attacked you in the child as well.

[1:52:22] Other people's evils you can view as a grievous loss and a wound to be worn for the rest of our lives, or as a fantastic exit visa from trash planet.
We are off-world, man.
I mean, if you were in some dictatorship, and you had forged papers to get out, and you were sweating to get out, and you were trying to get out, out and, and then you finally got out, would you spend the rest of your life turning and weeping and wailing that the country you escaped from that was going to unjustly imprison and beat you half to death, Solzhenitsyn style, that, that was just, it was so sad that that country was like, I'm glad I'm out.
And God, why would you torture yourself with pursuit of that, which was going to destroy you?
It's more of a curse from the parents that's all, well I can't torture you because you got away from me but what I'll do is I'll plant a bomb in your brain that will torture you by imagining I was better yeah, that's good, that gets my sadistic impulses all juiced up knowing that I can create an alternate universe where I was nice and then you could miss that oh yeah that's nice Nice.

Overcoming the reminders of a troubled past

[1:53:47] I mentioned previously my dad chipped my tooth during a conflict as a teen.
Steph asked, why can't you just get it fixed?
I think I never did as a reminder or proof that my dad was a bad person last week. I got it fixed. Moving forward. Thanks, Steph. Excellent. Well done.
Well done. Don't let your parents take your teeth.
Boy, there really isn't a better analogy that's come out of the show tonight, right? Don't let your parents take your teeth.
What's it got to do with you? They were bad people. You happened to be trapped with them. Bad luck. You know, sympathy. Real sympathy, man.
What's it got to do with you?
Don't let their shit stain you.
My mother's craziness, it didn't have to do with me.
I certainly didn't cause it. I, in fact, tried like hell to help her.
She chose madness over me because she didn't listen to my advice.

[1:54:47] It says, my dad was over 300 pounds. Him slapping me on the back of my head as a child has had permanent effect.
There was no room for or interest in discussion of my wants and needs.
Not having him or my mother around is better for my peace of mind.
Thank you, Heavenly Father, for getting away from them.
So this is like you get trapped with a dangerous animal somehow.
Somehow, and then you survive, somehow you survive, and you escape that dangerous animal, your confinement with that dangerous animal, and what are you going to do, spend the rest of your life, say it was a big ass dangerous tiger, you know, with those teeth that sense your jugular, right, you get this big ass dangerous tiger.

[1:55:38] And you survive and you make it out intact.
Are you going to spend the rest of your life crying into a pillow because, boy, if that tiger had just been a cute little kitten, that would have been a wonderful time.
What? If it had been just a big, cuddly, plush animal, or even if it had been a baby, like a newborn baby tiger?
Oh, that would have been just great. I really miss that baby tiger that wasn't there. So sad.

[1:56:22] Steph, do you think the fantasies come from parents being sometimes reasonable and giving their children hope?
That they could have been this way consistently throughout the course of our lives, knowing them, this sometimes reasonable behavior is the seed of the fantasy?
No, I get it. Yeah, of course.
Everybody knows the cycle of abuse is that abuses are sometimes nice. Of course.
Abuses are sometimes nice. I get it. Yeah, my mom and I used to have really nice mornings sometimes, reading the paper on Sundays, and yeah, it was nice.
I'd read the comics, she'd read the paper, and be nice and calm and relaxing.
My mother was pretty good when I was sick. She'd bring me soup and make me up a couch in the living room, and I'd watch TV.
I get that, yeah. So?
I mean, the zebras know the lions aren't always hungry, right?
Does that mean the lions aren't dangerous?
Part of the danger is recognizing that, yes, they were nice from time to time, for sure.
When they were in a good mood. But they weren't nice to you.
They were just nice because they were in a good mood.
Right? Yeah, I get it.

[1:57:32] Sometimes a criminal shoots all his bullets at you and misses.
Doesn't mean he's a nice guy.
No, that the good times have, like, when my mother was nice, guess what?
What did that have to do with me? Didn't have anything to do with me.
I'm not going to take any credit for my mother being nice because that would be to punish myself or be mad at myself when she wasn't nice.
Her good moods, her bad moods, her sanity, her craziness, her violence, her peace, none of that had anything to do with me. What did that have to do with me?
She just happened to wake up, maybe she had some guy return her phone call, maybe she got a raise at work, maybe, I don't know, something, right?
So she's in a good mood. Hey, hey, you know. This has got nothing to do with me.
Because none of it had to do with me. Because you can't beat people you care about.
I don't have to say this, right? You can't beat someone you care about.
So she didn't care about me. So it had nothing to do, it's just a dangerous predator I was trapped with.
Oh, but if she'd been a kitten, it would have been so nice. Why would I torture myself with things that never happened and couldn't happen and we're completely impossible.

The self-abuse of longing for an impossible past

[1:58:39] There's a form of self-abuse in my opinion. Don't do it. You've got to have discipline. Nope, nope, nope.
I'm not going to tell my feelings that they should be in hot pursuit of the impossible.
Because that's to turn my feelings against myself.
Thanks, David. I appreciate that. Useful show? Helpful show? Tell me what you think.
Just remember this, man. What has it got to do with me? What's it got to do with me?
What's it got to do with me? Are people who vote for low-crime people, low-crime, and they have a lot of crime in the neighborhood.
What's it got to do with me?

[1:59:24] Don't blend yourself out there into the world. You'll just get manipulated.
And exploit it. Now, I mean, people I care about, yeah, it's got everything to do with me. Absolutely. 150%.
And there's nothing that the people I care about couldn't ask me to do, and I would strive to do it. Absolutely.
But sentimentalizing violent child abusers? Come on, man.
This strikes me along the same veins. I'm sure you've heard these These women who fall in love with guys on death row, right? You heard of these women?
And this is true for just about every violent criminal has women desperate to marry him, right?
And we look at that, right? And we look at that and we say, wow, these women are like half in love with them, totally in love or lust or whatever with these incredibly violent guys, right?
Well, we would look at that as kind of crazy, right? So they're sentimentalizing these violent guys, and maybe they have a fetish for violent guys or whatever, right?
So they're sentimentalizing all these violent guys, and it's like, how is that different from what you're all doing with your parents?
Sentimentalizing your violent parents, if they were violent.

[2:00:52] Do they think they can change them? Why would you care about the motives, of women with violence fetishes?
All right, another comment or two. Yeah, if you'd like to tip, I would really appreciate it.
I've been working, I mean, I know I've not had a massive cavalcade of shows, but I have been working very hard this week. And if you could help out.
I'm going to get another chapter or two done over the next couple of days of peaceful parenting and other cool stuff that's coming your way.
Been a lot of updating the final bits of research for peaceful parenting.
I do want, I'm not having a footnote every sentence, but I do want to make sure that there's sources for the things that people might find controversial.
No, I don't think that they think they can change them. I think that they are turned on by the violence.

[2:01:56] Yeah, slash donate, especially if you're listening to this later.
I'd very much appreciate that.

Updates and appreciation for support in difficult times

[2:02:03] I'm sorry I haven't been looking into the camera over here on Locals.
I'm using two cameras because sometimes the multi-stream is all kinds of technically exciting, and I would like to start off a show with that annoyance.
Hey, Steph, I wanted to follow up on a call then. Son of a voodoo witch.
Thanks again for taking the time. I wanted to update you on what has happened.
I recently filed for divorce.
I had a video call with her. throughout the course she made continuous excuses for her parents friend and me i'm sorry that the marriage is over uh you are absolutely welcome for the time though and i i'm glad it was helpful i'm glad it was helpful enormously that's what we aim to do to to help as much as possible.

[2:02:40] Uh let's see here all right just well there's a question or two uh yes jared says the things that stuck out to me in my childhood is that i couldn't have a good day and i couldn't have a a bad day if they were having a good day i didn't exist then yeah well and if you're a really selfish person and you're in a good mood and somebody else is unhappy you'll get angry at them for spoiling your mood like you don't care about spoiling their mood but yeah the night stalker got married during his life sentence oh yeah the violent men have no shortage of women who want to sleep with them someone wants a cabin a bike ride several towns over for lunch ride back at home for for dinner to be made.
Those were good days, being yelled at, called lazy and arrogant, getting punished for getting mad. Those were bad days.
Their choice, nothing I could change. Yeah, you just, it's like taking a storm personally, right?

[2:03:31] Steph, why do you think human beings corrupt their young in a way that other animals don't?
Because corruption, until a relatively modern era, corruption has been something that is required for survival.
I mean, do you think in North Korea they raised their children to be critical of Dear Leader?
All right, any last comments, thoughts, questions, before I retire to my couch with endless amounts of Kleenex?
Social media scrolling, I think I'm going to have to just burn the microphone and get a new one or maybe get a priest, I don't know it's not a terrible cold but it's just because I so rarely get sick, it's just, I notice it.

[2:04:22] Alright, I think we're closing off here any last tips for, I won't say quite James Brown but one of the hardest working guys in showbiz, oh if you saw everything that was going on behind the scenes you would be amazed amazed, and i hope you guys like the new uh feel better you're the goat thank you i appreciate that i do aim to feel better it's not too bad i just have this all right steph i really listened to stop trying to figure people out call in some weeks ago and was finally able to stop ruminating unanswerable questions regarding other people's behavior today's show has cemented that further for me.
I never thought it was possible to move forward this lightweight.
So thank you. You're very welcome. I'm very, oh yeah.
So somebody was asking, well, if there aren't any dominoes, why do you say would this show exist if I hadn't been abused as a child?
Well, the show doesn't exist because I was abused by a child, but because of the reactions that I chose to have about being abused as a child, right?
This, this exists, right?

[2:05:24] Uh, there's always choice involved, but it was definitely a, uh, the choice was provoked by the circumstances. The choice is what gives the virtue.
I mean, you know, your children will annoy you from time to time, but that doesn't mean that that means why you yell at them, right?
Wow. That's the bitchiest comment. Molyneux pumps Bitcoin, Bitcoin crashes like clockwork.
Wow. That is some seriously bitchy stuff, my friend. that's really you you certainly win queen bitch of the uh knight award that is uh that is really something that is really something, um yeah so i've been talking about bitcoin and it's uh what almost 3x from beginning of the year last year yes yeah it's pretty funny, it's pretty funny so yeah and i i've never predicted the price of bitcoin i mean other Other than, I think for like 10 years ago, I said I have in my head, just as my own head, three quarters of a million US per Bitcoin.
I have that in my head at some point in life, in time.
That's not a prediction. That's just, you know, where I think that the economy is going to have to go because fiat is dying even faster than anticipated.
And the US is now in three wars. They're now in three wars.
Yeah. Yep.
It's nice having those couple of years without war, right?

[2:06:52] Thanks so much for working on the translation topic i think it would be great for spreading philosophy to more people even something simple like captions i could auto translate would be wonderful but that audio was so cool keep up the great work thanks i appreciate that josh all right everyone i will uh close down for the evening um talk to you guys on sunday, sunday chatty sunday and we will talk to you at 11 a.m and tomorrow i think we're going to put put out a call and show you should absolutely listen to about a guy who can't stop dating some pretty unstable women and this is the guy who dated his ex-therapist so a good call um i pushed pretty hard because he was a long time listener so i hope that helps and have yourself a wonderful evening and what's left of it and uh lots of love from up here take care i'll talk to you soon.

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April 2024

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