0:08 - Happy Father's Day
2:33 - Generosity and Entitlement
19:25 - Reciprocity in Relationships
28:14 - The Nature of Exploiters
31:24 - The Truth About Psychology
45:29 - Owning Your Choices
56:39 - Final Thoughts and Reflections
In today's episode, we delve into a fascinating conversation on the complexities of generosity and entitlement, sparked by my recent call-in show that revolved around the theme of fatherhood on Father’s Day. The call-in show unfolded unexpectedly, revealing some shocking insights from a father battling insomnia, which prompted a deeper exploration of the relationship dynamics that often permeate our lives. I express my astonishment at the raw truths that emerged and encourage listeners to engage with the recorded session when it becomes available, particularly as I reflect on the importance of accountability and mutual respect in relationships.
The discussion quickly shifts to the often-unappreciated nature of generosity. I share personal anecdotes about how acts of kindness can lead to unintended consequences, highlighting a pattern where the more one gives, the more likely one is to be taken for granted. This provokes a critical examination of societal expectations around gratitude and reciprocity, especially in scenarios where one party feels entitled without recognizing the source of their support. Drawing on my experiences, I emphasize the necessity of balancing generosity with standards, which not only fosters healthy relationships but also cultivates an understanding of equality and mutual reliance.
As I explore the ramifications of a welfare state, I critique the prevalent attitudes that lead to a lack of appreciation for hard work and the often unseen efforts that support communities. By sharing striking examples of individuals who fail to recognize the contributions of others, I highlight the troubling disconnect between entitlement and gratitude. I invite listeners to consider the societal framework that perpetuates these dynamics and examine their own relationships for signs of imbalance.
The episode also navigates the complexities of personal accountability, urging individuals to take ownership of their choices rather than attributing their circumstances to external forces. This theme reverberates throughout the conversation, prompting laughter, reflection, and a call to honesty as I interact with listeners' comments. Through a blend of humor and serious contemplation, I challenge common narratives and encourage a culture of reciprocity—both in personal and professional realms—while contending that genuine relationships require a delicate balance of giving and receiving.
In closing, I remind listeners of the importance of reciprocal relationships and the broader implications of living in a society that recognizes and appreciates all forms of contribution. I challenge them to reflect on their roles as both givers and receivers and to cultivate a deeper understanding of how relationships thrive on mutual respect and accountability. Stay tuned for more insights and discussions in this evolving dialogue that keeps examining the fabric of our interactions and societal structures.
[0:00] Good morning, good morning, everybody. Oh, my gosh. What have we got? 15th of June, 2025.
[0:09] 150625. And it is Happy Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to everyone. I certainly have some thoughts about the issues. And I kind of celebrated last night. I did a call-in show and it's a public call-in so it'll go out and it really was oh I don't remember a time I've been that shocked by a call-in show I'm not unshockable unshockable that's what you are, so I'm not unshockable but it's been a while since I've been uh this shocked and um it was a long call-in show, but I think it will be worth it. And it was with the father who had insomnia and boy, did we ever find out why? Oh my God. Uh, shocking. I, I try, you know, I obviously try not to get condemnatory or overly angry or something, but, uh, that, that happened. So that would go out to donors soon and, uh, the stream as a whole after a while. But, uh, Yeah, that was something.
[1:27] That was something. So I hope you'll check that out. You can go, of course, to join up, freedomain.com slash donate. You can sign up for subscriptions. You can go to fdurail.com slash locals or subscribestar.com slash freedomain.
[1:45] And it will be helpful to me, helpful to you, and you get access to a lot of very, very cool stuff. And yeah I've been finding some old call-in shows lately that are actually really good from the archives the kind of stuff that would normally come out when I'm dead, so I hope that you will check those out when they come out and again they go out to donors first so I hope you would check that out as well all right questions comments issues somebody says hi staff I've recently started a therapeutic coaching venture I use a lot of your philosophy and mindsets on my clients and it's working very well for them. Fantastic. Fantastic. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.
[2:33] So, questions, comments, issues, challenges, problems. I mean, fatherhood really has been crippled in the modern West. Men pay like 80% of the taxes. Women take resources from men. And it's funny, you know, when I was younger, I used to think that if you were really generous with people, they would be grateful. You ever had that experience where you say, oh, I'm going to be really generous with someone. And I mean, you don't expect them to name their firstborn after you, but thanks exist for a reason. And thanks exist so that people don't feel taken for granted, right? The king does not thank the slave, right? The slave grovels and thanks the king. Thanking someone is saying, you don't owe me, and I appreciate what you've done for me, right? If uh uh if if you order something online and it gets delivered you don't write a personally worded card of thanks for the generosity of whoever delivered it to you because that's what you're paying them to do right so again we we say thanks to the waitress even though we're paying the waitress thank you for the food blah blah blah but that's just being polite thanks is a way of, saying we're equal you went above and beyond you don't owe me and i appreciate what you've done.
[3:59] So in my experience with many people i would say the majority of people the more generous you are, the more you get taken for granted that's really really sad and boy is it ever short-sighted on the people who take advantage of you that's just a terrible idea oh oh not good not good, generosity begets kindness begets generosity and it's an it's an it's a virtuous spiral like it's an upward spiral but in my experience when you're generous with people they just start to expect it and your generosity is viewed by people not as something they should be grateful for but as something that gives them higher status right i mean if you've ever stayed after school to clean the blackboards and, you know, whop out the erasers and so on. Well, that's because the teacher has more power and the teacher will thank you and so on. But it's not like the teacher reciprocates them by coming over and doing your laundry, right? Doesn't really, it doesn't really work that way. So a lot of people, if you're generous to them, they will take it as a sign that they have power and that they are superior to you. and therefore they're much less likely to thank you and therefore that all diminishes and goes away.
[5:24] I remember once with a family member many years ago, he and his wife were expecting their first child. And I stayed like for the entire long weekend cleaning, right? That's the instinct to clean. They lived in a condo at the time. And I stayed for an entire long weekend cleaning that condo top to bottom with the husband. And I mean, we pulled out the fridge, we pulled out the stove, like everything you just have this urge of course right babies come in with a fairly novel immune system and and so you you try to clean things up right.
[6:01] And oh man it just struck me a week or two later that when i had my kid i did i could not imagine that family member ever coming to my place wherever i would happen to be living, and helping me clean for three days straight. Like I just, I couldn't, it would just be incomprehensible. They'd find some excuse. They'd be busy. They'd be tired. They'd be, have other engagements. It would be something, right? Like if you've ever done this thing when you're a young man, young woman, I think young men a little bit more. I mean, I remember toting it up once I moved 18 times in 10 years. And I didn't get quite down to my college roommates. And when I say roommates, we lived in the same room, like one room. both of us. And I remember he actually was down to a wooden bowl and a spoon. He was a complete minimalist traveler. I'd never caught quite that low, but I did stay pretty lean. I lived pretty lean. And so what you do as a young man is you help each other move because nobody's got any money for movers or as they call it in England, removers.
[7:12] And so you help each other move. And it's just kind of you know maybe you'll spring for some pizza and beer or whatever it is but, that's just the way uh that uh that it goes and uh and there's always one guy there's always one guy or maybe it's more than one he's happy to have all his friends come and help him move but when it's time to help his other friends move you know he's got a sore back uh he's busy and it just seems to be kind of a a consistent thing so be sure to to thank people in your life and reciprocate I mean, I remember someone in my life, I put out massive amounts of time, effort, and energy in helping them with their artistic endeavors, and then when I asked them to read and give me feedback on my novel, Just Poor, they said, well, it delayed, delayed, never quite happened, and then I sort of said, hey, come on, I did all of this stuff for your artistic goals, maybe you could help me with my novel. That person said, well, you know, you just haven't quite motivated me to do it, and I'm like, ah, okay. Uh, so when I help you, it's my duty. When I ask you to help me, it's my fault if you don't. And then it was like, farewell, good night, au revoir, and goodbye. So, but I've always found it, uh, just as a whole, being generous and having standards is a very powerful combination.
[8:36] So being generous means help people out go above and beyond do the extra mile or whatever be generous and then have standards so be generous and ask in return if you're just generous without having standards or asking in return you're just kind of cringe begging slaving and and throwing resources at people so they'll like you and look i've done it myself so this is not any sort of sarcastic thing to put people down i've spent many years doing that kind of stuff but if you're generous and you have standards. That's the sweet spot, my friends. That is the sweet spot. Because then you help people out and you ask for favors in return. And you come across this, it's a feeling. It's a feeling. It's like this.
[9:22] Somebody says, don't let the door hit you on the backside on the way out the door. Don't let the good, don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split But yeah, so being generous to people and then asking for favors, you get this cold, it's like a diamond heart. It's like cold, kind of icy. There's just no way they're gonna do it because you helping them has driven their vanity and status to heights and they won't give that up by helping you back because that would be to return to a state of equality. And very few people, I'm telling you, my friends, This is why voluntarism, anarchism, anarcho-capitalism is so hard for people to grasp. Because so few people can operate on a plane of equality in this life. It's always got to be, you know, like that two pieces of paper being pushed together on a tabletop. One goes over, one goes under. They just, they can't do equality. They can't do reciprocity. They can't do mutuality. It's got to be hierarchical.
[10:26] Like if you're at a party uh it's called these cocktail eyes you ever been at a party and you're trying to chat with someone and they're just looking around the room looking for something, better looking for someone more important looking for someone who can do something for them this happens at networking events in business all the time chatting with someone and the moment they realize that you can't help them advance their career or their whatever it is they'll just oh Oh, excuse me, right? And I get that from a business standpoint, but so many people do that as a whole. They just, they cannot operate on a state, in a state of equality. One person has to be superior, one has to be inferior. One's on top, one's on the bottom, and not in that fun way.
[11:14] So always look for that so how do you how do you test for equality well i mean one of the things you do is you test for reciprocity in dating that's an important thing right so as a guy who dated a fair share of women in the past i would always be very generous right oh i'll come pick you up uh i'll choose the restaurant i'll pay for dinner and i would look for reciprocity.
[11:37] Which doesn't include sex because sex itself is reciprocal right so i would look for reciprocity it didn't mean money necessarily at all it could be any number of things it could be a woman who would say oh you mentioned you write books i'd love to read one right and if she reads a couple of chapters and giving me some feedback that's worth way more than the price of dinner to me right so that's it doesn't have doesn't matter about money reciprocity right um if you bring something nice for her uh then i mean i remember going on a date with a woman and she brought me a plant. And she said, you know, you're a bachelor. I assume you don't have plants. I'm aware that I may be handing over the plant to the equivalent of a Soviet gulag, but it's nice having plants. And I really thought I've kept that plant for years. It was a very, very thoughtful, very thoughtful gesture. So you look for reciprocity. So if you're putting all the work in as a man, being attractive, taking her out, choosing the places, choosing the activities, making her laugh, and so on, then what happens with a lot of people is when you provide them resources, they settle back into an aristocratic mindset. Oh, lovely. Well, I guess I'm that important that this person is now my serf, my slave. They're just bringing me resources, and they get smug, they get superior, and they get entitled, and blech, blech. And that's when you run, because that person is exploitive and kind of narcissistic, in my humble opinion.
[13:06] But you look for reciprocity, right? You look for, I mean, I've told this story a million times about how I mentioned to my.
[13:13] Eventually my wife, when we were on a, I went out on a couple of dates that I had to, I had to interrupt my writing to go, I was taking time off from work to write both Almost and my novel, The God of Atheists. And.
[13:28] I said, oh, I've got to enter my, she says, are you going to go right this afternoon? I said, well, I kind of have to interrupt it because I have to go and pick up some sandals. I got fixed. They're all the way downtown. And she's like, are you, no, I'm going to be downtown this afternoon. I'll pick them up. And I was just like, shocked, shocked. Teaching women to be vain means that they will not perform reciprocity, right? They will not do nice things for a man because any more than you would say to an aristocrat who's got a thousand serfs, well, you need to give each of them a handwritten birthday card. He'd be like, no, I don't. They're my serfs, right? So there's a no reciprocity there. My reciprocity is I don't throw them in a dungeon. So always look for reciprocity in friendships and in business and so on. And it's even true when you have a hierarchical relationship. You need to look for reciprocity. So if you have a boss, the boss should be appreciative of things that you do and not take them for granted. I mean, again, I've said this story, but it's been many years. It was one of these really crystalline waking dream turning points in my life. I had been working in my journal with the idea that.
[14:52] It was worse to assault a child than it is to assault an adult in a wheelchair. Like, you know, if we saw some big guy beating up some woman in a wheelchair, we'd be absolutely appalled. And we would call him like just the worst guy ever. Because she's in a wheelchair, right?
[15:11] But that's, assaulting a child is even worse. Assuming it's your child, right? Your child. Because the woman in the wheelchair, she can call on the cell phone. She can the police will protect her she's independent she can get the guy thrown in jail she goes back to her own place she can be secure she can be safe she could be armed she can have pepper spray whatever is legal right so so it's whereas a child is and she's a full legal adult she's got independent consciousness and and so on full economic political and social rights and independence and she's got all these people she can call the police will be on her side and everyone will side with her about, my God, I can't believe this guy beat you up or tried to beat you up when you were in a wheelchair. Everybody would just be appalled and nobody would ever say, you know, let's say he's a neighbor, right? Oh, but he's your neighbor. You should get along with your neighbors. You go over and have tea with him and ignore that anything ever happened. You wouldn't have any of that bullshit, right?
[16:05] But a child is completely dependent, has no independence, can't call the cops or rarely. And people don't side with the child, when the child grows up and says, I was assaulted, they say, well, you know, they're your parents, you got to find a way to make it work. Right. So I was going, working through this whole thing. This would be probably about 30 years ago or so. I was working through this whole thing, just trying to, trying to understand all of this. And this was a poem that I wrote in my late teens, early twenties about how everyone's reading their newspaper, waiting for a bus and a lion comes along, takes out a kid and people don't even look up from their newspapers. This is how little people deal with child abuse. And that's, my God, that's almost 40 years ago.
[16:52] I'm getting old. I'm getting old, baby. So.
[17:00] Anyway, I was living downtown after I broke up with my fiance, and I was going downstairs to go and get a coffee, and across, it was a fairly rough section of town, and across the street, there was this big black guy who was standing over a frail old woman, a frail middle-aged woman, and she seemed old at the time, a frail middle-aged woman who was kind shaking her uh you know the armrests on the uh wheelchair she was in a wheelchair and it's just leaning over her and shaking at her and shouting at her and i just uh of course ran up and told him to back off and what the hell is he doing and like you've got to be kidding me like she's in a wheelchair you're a big guy and i i wouldn't say it was just an instinct i wouldn't even say it was particularly you know brave or it was just like you got to do something like when i see a child getting aggressed against in public i just i just go up it's almost like a force pulls me up and i just kind of have to it's even not even really a choice anyway so he backed down um.
[18:10] Of course i was working out a lot of the time and um this was fairly strapping young young lad, so he backed down and then i uh talked to the woman asked if she was okay and so on and she said she was shaken up and she was hungry. So I took her to a restaurant and I paid for her dinner and then, and then what? Well, and then she started chiseling me for more money.
[18:36] And that didn't seem quite right. Hey, thanks. Now, if you could just spot me 50 bucks or 100 bucks or whatever on that, it just didn't seem quite right. So sometimes when you're generous with people, they just start expecting more and more and you can get turned inside out and drained dry. Some people, you give them your blood, they get better, and they'll come and mow your lawn. Other people, you give them your blood, and they're like, oh, he's a generous guy, so I'm going to go hit him up for money. Generosity is beautiful in a reciprocal relationship. Generosity around exploiters will end your existence as a happy person. It really is terrible. Be very careful with your generosity. Very, very careful with your generosity.
[19:25] Always look for reciprocity. Otherwise, you're going to get exploited.
[19:32] All right. Let me get to your comments. I'm grateful to you. I have a happy marriage. It's successful because I've implemented a lot of what you have to say. Oh, I'm great for that. And thank you for that. All right. Well, with Canada Post, they don't deliver packages. They just deliver the sorry we missed you from the depot. Yeah. I mean, it used to be that they'd just leave your package. They would just leave your package on the door. Thank you, David. Thank you, C2. They'd just leave your package on the door, but we live in a low-trust society with porch pirates now, right? So you can't leave people's stuff on the door. The amount of... A high-trust society is just incredibly efficient. A low-trust society is just economic decay waiting for collapse. It's so expensive. It's so expensive and time-consuming to live in a low-trust society.
[20:32] People get resentful when you're generous. I mean, geez, if not a thanks, at least a minor consideration and respect for me and my responsibilities. So they get resentful when you're generous?
[20:45] People get resentful when you're generous. I don't think so. I don't think so.
[20:51] Like, think of the people on welfare, right? When was the last time, the welfare state is a single mother state, so we can pretty much equate the two. When was the last time a single mother went on social media and gave something like the following speech i really want to thank mostly the men of society for paying the taxes and i'm really sorry that i ended up having children without a father around i really really appreciate how hard people work to provide me housing and food and health care and education and dental care i really really appreciate the men who get up early, who go to work, and I take the money out of their bank account through the state. And I'm really sorry that you have less money for your family because I did not plan correctly. I will work as hard as I can to become independent, but I just really want to show my absolute deep, sincere and grateful appreciation for everything that the taxpayers are doing for me to keep me going. It never happens. And in fact, it doesn't even cross the mind of most of the people on welfare at all. What happens is they get entitled to it and then you get no thanks. All you get is rage if there's any cuts or interruptions, right? That's all you get.
[22:21] When was the last time that women as a whole went on social media and said, and I know it happens, but it's not very common, and said, you know, really want to thank men for all of the hard work they did in building the buildings and the roads and the infrastructure and the electrical grid and the sewage system and like all of the infrastructure that we take for granted. You know, if you've ever lived out in the woods, the fact that you can turn a tap and get water without having to boil it or use water purification tablets is, I still appreciate it because I spent a year and a half living in the, well, a year or so living in the woods. So all of the amenities of the world make sense. Women love jewelry. When was the last time they said, I really want to thank men for doing the hard and dangerous work of mining, which is where we get the gold and the diamonds from. I really do appreciate it. And I get to wear these lovely trinkets because men are out in the hot sun or down in the underworld like dwarves getting black lung and hunched backs from all of their mining activities. Never happens, right?
[23:20] Never happens. so when you give people stuff particularly through the power of the state they simply get entitled and they cannot express gratitude because expressing gratitude would be to reduce their ability to exploit without a conscience without being triggered by their conscience so when you're exploiting people you have to dehumanize them otherwise you feel bad and exploitation isn't fun if you feel bad right so they can't express gratitude all they can do is say, well, I'm entitled, right? And then they express rage if there's any interruption in the flow of exploited values that come their way. I mean, there was this video that came out a day or two ago and it was this morbidly obese woman talking about how much she needs SNAP, Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program or something like that, how much she needs SNAP food for her four kids.
[24:19] And she was, of course, playing the victim and half crying, and all the other women are like patting her on their arm, you're okay, honey, you're doing fine, you're okay. And, I mean, it's, the optics are wild to me, that you have a morbidly obese woman saying she needs more food for her family. And again, her childhood was probably horrible, and I get all of that, but, And the comments, it's actually interesting. It's interesting to see the comments because the comments were like, looks like she's eating all the food, which I thought was a little mean, but I can understand the joke. And, of course, it was, why would she have four kids if she can't afford to feed them? You know, just that basic stuff, right? Now, of course, she was saying, I was working three jobs. Now, that's kind of tough because if you're working three jobs, who's taking care of your kids? But she actually said, was saying that I was working three jobs when she first started having children.
[25:19] But there's no thanks, right? She's probably taken.
[25:27] Over the course of these four kids' lives, I don't know exactly how old they are.
[25:35] But people on welfare, you know, again, assuming they're getting subsidized healthcare, if not free health care, subsidized housing, if not free housing, subsidized food, if not free food. The schools are paid for by the taxpayers. The daycare is probably paid for largely by the taxpayers. So she's probably getting, I mean, it's really hard to say, but I know that you have to earn over $80,000 to $100,000 to get the same value. So let's just say she's getting $60,000 worth of value US. It's probably a little low when you add all the things up together, but let's say that she's getting $60,000. That's a huge amount of money, massive amount of money. I mean, the first 60,000 is the big thing. Get a million, get an extra 60,000, doesn't look diminishing gains right but she's getting uh sixty thousand dollars a year, right so over 20 years that's 1.2 million dollars which she doesn't have to pay tax on so it's actually even more she's getting sixty thousand dollars worth of value she doesn't have to pay tax on it so that's probably closer to 80 90 maybe even 100 000 depending on how you count it But we'll just go bare minimum. So if someone gave you $1.2 million so that you really didn't have to work.
[27:04] What would you say? Wouldn't you thank them enormously? Wouldn't you be like in tears with gratitude? If you had a bunch of kids and then somebody said, we're going to give you $60,000 a year tax-free, wouldn't you be incredibly grateful? Wouldn't you be in tears of gratitude? That shit doesn't happen. It does not happen. Generosity through the state always begets entitlement. You owe me. I need these. Who's going to feed my kids? Well, you, you had them. I didn't. I'll feed my kids. You feed your kids. How about that? How about that? Having to teach people that relationships should be reciprocal is a bit of an eye-opener. When virtue is not valued in society, and it usually costs you, how long can you afford virtue? Yeah, but... Oh, sorry, I'm not talking to you. I missed the username. Yeah, you still owe me an apology. All right.
[28:15] Chris says, I think there's a lack of vulnerability present when people don't reciprocate. Like you say, they close up with a hard shell around the heart.
[28:28] Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. Oh, the people who exploit you, they just, they're hiding their vulnerability. I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at you. I really, it just, I don't mean to laugh at you. I'm really sorry. But that really is funny. Oh, my God. No, they're just, they're lazy and they want to take stuff. Lack of vulnerability. You know, they want to reciprocate. They're just too tenderhearted and don't want to show it. It's like, no, they're exploiters, bro. My God. My God. Please don't project all of this sensitivity onto exploiters. They're just cold-hearted takers. That's it. Now, bad childhood, blah, blah, blah, blah. But who cares, right? Who cares? I mean, someone might care about an exploiter's bad childhood, but that someone can never be the person they're exploiting or have exploited, right? I mean, to take an extreme example, a therapist might work with a rapist to figure out his bad childhood, but his victims should not be those people to help him out, right?
[29:44] All right, I don't go to that extreme, but if I need help and get it, I will do a favor like buy a nice meal for them when I can afford to do so. That's what a friend does, yeah. Why are bad people much better at detecting good people than good people are at detecting bad people? What a great question. Because evil people run the education system, right? And so evil people running the education system, evil people are not going to teach you how to identify evil people, right? That would be like the lion stalking a zebra, shooting up a flare, saying, I'm here. So, no, I mean, the educational system and the media is largely run by immoral or corrupt or evil people. And so they want to reverse everything. They want to reverse everything so that your instincts are completely screwed up.
[30:31] So they will never tell you how to identify bad people. Like, so for instance, there are two of the most replicable instances in psychology or social sciences. Do you know what the two of them are? The two most robust findings that replicate all of the world incredibly consistently. Do you know what these two things are? These are the two things that you're not allowed to talk about because these are the two things that will help protect you. Right? So the two things that will help you understand the world and protect you, you're not allowed to talk about because very corrupt people are in charge of the information that we consume, except Twitter. So do you know what are the two most robust and replicable, replicatable things?
[31:25] Findings in psychology and the social sciences.
[31:39] All right. IQ is one. Yes, that's right. IQ is one of the most robust and around the world replicable genetics. No. No. No. It's a bit obscure. So I don't know exactly where they stand in the hierarchy, but two of the most replicable things in science and IQ, sorry, in, I got distracted. No, it's not family dynamics. So the two most replicated studies in psychology and social sciences are IQ and stereotypes. Are stereotypes accurate? It stereotypes don't just emerge out of nowhere and of course you wouldn't want to take a general stereotype and apply it to every single person but yeah stereotypes and iq are the two most, replicated studies in so and one of the reasons why people think psychology is largely bullshit is because its most robust findings are suppressed viciously right so, so yeah you can't talk about these things right.
[32:59] All right, all right let's see let me get to your comments great comments today thank you everyone so much, the shock that men would dare ask what is in the relationship for him or what does she bring to the table oh yeah of course all all women's preferences are standards all men's preferences are based on insecurity and hysterical need to control women right so i mean i'll steal directly from the whatever podcast because i think his name is brian the man they call brian he was having a debate with women and uh he was saying if your man if your boyfriend doesn't want you to go to the club, don't want you to go to the bar and drink with your girlfriends, is that bad? Oh, that's so bad. He's so insecure. He should trust me. He's too controlling. Blah, blah, blah. That's controlling. Okay. Well, what if your man wants to go to a strip club? Oh, that's bad. He shouldn't do that, right? Well, wouldn't he just say, well, you got to trust me?
[34:00] You're insecure if you don't want me to go to a strip club. And Brian's argument, which was a very solid, a good argument, was that the man's chances of sleeping with the stripper are virtually zero. But 90% of the men of the club will have sex with a reasonably attractive woman if she offers it. So the relationship is far safer if the man goes to the strip club than if the woman goes to the club and gets drunk. Right so yeah asking women what they bring to the table well see but women now have had three generations of old age pensions in the welfare state so they don't need you put the welfare state in and then you tell women they don't need men and they believe you i get it, i get it if i get a hundred dollars worth of free groceries delivered to my house every day I don't need no stinking grocery store. It's not complicated, right? The welfare state was put in place in part to convince women empirically that they don't need men and therefore make women less appealing, more entitled, less dateable, and to reduce the birth rate.
[35:15] All right, somebody says, Stef, I want to be clear with you. Good, because being opaque with me is not helpful. I've had hours and hours of value from you over the years. And it's only fairly recently that I have subscribed to you on a monthly subscription now that my finances are becoming more stable. My plan is to build up my therapeutic coaching and I will be able to increase my subscription. Plus I'm spreading your values to my clients. As I mentioned, I've also spread it to my friends and family. I've not hoarded the knowledge. I just wanted to get this off. Yeah. I mean, I.
[35:47] Your finances have to be in a pretty bad state where a $10 a month subscription is the difference between having a home and living on the streets it's just a matter of priorities and this is not to do with donating to me do it or don't do it i just sort of make the case so everyone thinks well i'll be i'll have a reciprocal relationship we'll take my example so people say well i'll donate to Stef when my finances are more stable. But that's a passive thing. And it's not even true. There's very few people in the world whose finances are so bad that if they subscribe for five or $10 a month to me, they're going to end up homeless. Come on, there's always something you can cut. It's literally a coffee a month. You know, like there's a $3 subscription at freedomain.com slash donate. I would not, I will not believe anyone. And I'll just be honest with you, right? And I could be wrong, but I will not believe anyone who says, Stef, I can't afford three, five or $10 a month, I just don't have the money.
[36:53] I just don't believe it. I really don't. I don't believe it. I mean, and I wouldn't say that to people. I can say I'm not comfortable. I don't want to. I'm not happy. It makes me anxious. But to say I can't afford, like, especially, you know, you're obviously an intelligent guy. You've got computers, cell phones, internet. You've got, you probably have. I mean, there are luxuries that we all have, right?
[37:27] And so the idea that you can't subscribe because you just don't have the money is essentially not true. It's essentially not true. And I'm not nagging you about this. I'm just saying that you need to understand how you come across to other people. Thank you, Chris. You just need to understand, and I'm not trying to get you to donate, honestly. I just, maybe you've been around people who aren't direct, blunt, and honest with you. But if someone says to me, Stef, I couldn't afford three bucks a month. I couldn't afford five bucks a month. I just don't believe you. Now, I'm not saying you should spend it, but you could. There's almost nobody in the West where it's like, well, my...
[38:14] My necessary expenses are $2,000 a month. My income is $2,000 a month. And if I subscribe for a couple of extra bucks a month, I'm going to get kicked out of my apartment. I'm going to go hungry. That's just not the way that life works. That's not the way. I mean, do you go out to eat? Do you have a coffee out once in a while? Do you pick up a bagel in a drive-thru? I'm just saying that it's a choice. And you want to recognize that it's a choice for you. Don't hide behind the determinism of made-up math. I'm just being blunt with you. And I want you to tell the truth to people because the more you get into the habit of telling the truth to people, the higher quality people you can have in your life. Because if you say stuff like, my finances are becoming more stable, and years and years I took value from you, but now my finances are becoming more stable, so I can do a subscription.
[39:17] The problem is, is that people with intelligence and honesty won't believe you. And I'm not saying that you're sitting there, you know, rubbing your hands and consciously lying to me, but you have to really think before you communicate and make sure that you're telling as much truth as possible. Now if somebody says to me if you'd have said to me i felt uncomfortable i didn't uh i didn't want to i i was having trouble with generosity i blah blah blah i chose to have a cup of coffee out rather than fund philosophy hey i got no problem with that the fact that you didn't subscribe is not the problem i appreciate you starting to subscribe and my my gift to you, for your subscription is that you got to tell the truth. And there's nobody really who's going to believe you if you say, I couldn't do five bucks a month because that would have broken me down financially and I would have ended up living on the streets. I couldn't do it, right? So if you blame your finances as to why you're not subscribing, nobody's going to believe you. Now, listen, don't get me wrong. If you're a homeless guy and you're listening to this somehow, right, whatever, right, then I get that. But that's not you, right? And that's not really a thing.
[40:38] So don't make excuses that are not true. Sorry, I just want to be blunt with you. I want to be honest with you.
[40:51] So, don't tell me that you didn't subscribe because your finances were unstable or whatever it is, right? If it was a priority to you, you would have subscribed. It was not a priority to you, which I'm fine with. I mean, obviously, philosophy is a very high priority for me. But if it's not a high priority for you, high enough to make it a priority in order to spend three or five or 10 bucks a month or whatever, right? That's fine. than just tell me it wasn't a high priority and I let other people pay for the value that I was consuming and I appreciated not having ads in your show and I just, I was a free rider, okay? I was a free rider. It happens, it happens. But don't say it's because of some external factor like I didn't have the money or my finances were unstable, whatever that means, right?
[41:45] If it was a high enough priority right i mean so let's take a silly example right i just really want to be frank with this because i want you guys as a whole in general and i have this standard for myself and i fail it from time to time so i'm not speaking from any place of of you know infinite floating on a mountain superiority, but let me let me give you an example right so if you were sick and the life-saving medicine was $5 a month, if you were sick and the life-saving medicine was $5 a month, let's say you needed to take it for a couple of years, would you die? Right? Of course you wouldn't. You would find a way to pay the $5 a month in order to survive. Now, just for the less intelligent among you, I know this isn't most people, I'm not saying that I'm equivalent to life-saving medicine. This is an extreme example to show you that if the doctor said, well, you're dying, and this medicine for five bucks a month...
[42:56] You have to pay that or you're going to die. Would you say, oh, you know what? My finances are too unstable right now. No. You would find a way to pay the $5 a month to get the medicine to stay alive. So when people tell me it's impossible, I couldn't do it because of my finances, I just know that's not true. Now, that is not to say you have to subscribe or donate. This is not, that's not the conversation. the conversation isn't well you have to donate that subscribe that's that's not the conversation is about don't pretend that your free will is constrained by something it's not in fact constrained by so when people say well i can afford a cell phone i can afford an internet plan i can afford a place to live i can afford a car maybe i can afford coffees out i can afford dinners out i can afford treats and this and that and the other i can afford desserts which you don't need and a kind of poisonous anyway. I can afford all of these things, but Stef, I can't afford to support philosophy. You can. Again, this is not an argument that you should, but don't tell me you didn't have a choice. My finances were too unstable. It's not true. You chose to not own your choices. Because if you give yourself excuses in the past, you're going to give yourself excuses in the future and you're going to limit your choices. Do not give yourself access to excuses.
[44:25] Excuses diminish you. They diminish your free will. They diminish the honor and glory of your existence. And excuses keep people of great integrity away from you. Because people with great integrity, people, and by integrity, I simply mean you don't make up excuses, right? People with great integrity don't like spending time around people who make excuses because it's kind of infectious. We all have that undertone, that tendency, that desire, that drive to make excuses. Kids are born that way. We have to outgrow it, right? It wasn't my fault. Or, you know, the guy last night, every time I found this kind of annoying, and I called him on it like half a dozen times, I actually had to tell the audio cleanup to not take out breathing noises because every time I'd ask him a question, He didn't like it, go, you know, there's this impatient sigh, right?
[45:30] So that's kind of unpleasant to be around, right? So be somebody who owns every choice. If you didn't subscribe and you didn't donate, that is fine. The issue that I'm talking about here is not oh my god you got to go and subscribe and donate don't get me wrong I'd be happy if you did but the issue here is when I hear excuses that are false, When I hear excuses that are false, and some excuses are genuine, right? Like I was late to the job interview because I got T-boned by a drunk driver. Okay, that's a valid excuse, right?
[46:09] But I couldn't afford five bucks a month is not true. Now, just own it. Don't give yourself excuses. Don't diminish the glory of your free will by making up a situation where you just had no choice. I couldn't subscribe because I would starve or be homeless or whatever it is, right? I couldn't make my car payments. I'd lose my car. I'd lose my job, right? But that's not true. Everyone in this conversation, everyone listening to this, you can afford five bucks a month. Now, please understand, if you choose not to subscribe for five bucks a month or whatever, three bucks a month, if you choose not to subscribe, I'm fine with that. I really am genuinely and totally fine with that. Just don't lie to me about it.
[47:01] And don't lie to yourself about it. You know, if it was five bucks a month to stay alive, you'd find that five bucks you wouldn't even, oh, I mean, I give up one coffee out a month and I get to live? Okay, I give up one coffee a month and I can support philosophy? Yes. So just don't, because you're, and the reason I'm, is you're a life coach here, right? Therapeutic coaching so if when you're telling me about how you're taking my material and using it in your therapeutic coaching to make money i'm fine with that too but if you're a therapeutic coach then you want to teach people to take 100 ownership of their choices no excuses no excuses so don't give me an excuse when you're telling me about how you're making money from my material that's all and I'm fine with that too but that's all all right again great comments and questions right.
[47:57] Was it a huge shock that most people or a large percentage have no desire for universalism in ethics or behavior? Yeah. I mean, I've gone through a whole bunch of like, what don't I understand about the world that things are happening that I don't anticipate? I mean, I remember when the media first started going after me back in 2008 or something like that. I was like, well, hang on. I mean, we're talking about child abuse and child abusers and voluntary relationships and I was raised that if you're not happy in a relationship you can just leave and right so I was a bit surprised and I was like I mean I had to sit there and think until my, brain bled through my ears or something like what am I not getting what am I missing what am I not getting and what I understood was that my mother understood the world far better than I did so she could do all these terrible things in full like there was probably hundreds of people who could hear me getting beaten because we lived in a variety of apartment buildings the paper thin walls and so on and nobody ever called the cops and so my mom was perfectly safe to loudly beat uh beat us um and she knew that nobody would do anything so my mom understood the world better than i did aren't women just harnessing the power of nature like building a spinning wheel by a waterfall for energy simps are just programmed to be simps well then you wouldn't call them simps which is a negative term.
[49:24] So, I would say no, because in a non-statist society, like in a free society, a society without statism, simps wouldn't, it wouldn't work. Women would actually need to provide value in order to be taken care of over the course of their life because um a woman who sells her body on the internet is clearly thinking in the short term which means she's probably going to blow all the money which means what's she going to do from 30 to 85 right that's more than half a century that's 55 years and so there would be enough warnings right see one of the things that we don't do in society anymore is we don't let people serve as a warning to others because we just rush in and save them and shore up their bad decisions and so on, right? A guy says, maybe the dude was shaking the woman in the wheelchair to get his money back.
[50:36] Yeah, not reading that comment. Oh, and I don't expect you to apologize for disagreeing with me. Tons of people disagree with me because you were kind of rude and insulting all right entitled people demand more from generosity anxious people refuse to take it or apologize profusely yeah it's so rare that when women do show appreciation towards men it feels like a grift yeah i mean i remember um a woman in my 20s and uh i was paying the bills and she expected thanks when she made dinner she expect thanks when she did the laundry and i said, I I don't get any thanks for paying the bills again beginning of the end right, do we know what the average iq is for the single moms on welfare well single moms seem to have iqs on average in the high in the low 90s so again this is nothing to do with individuals right.
[51:41] Uh every time there's a power failure and they are very rare when the power comes back i use the opportunity to teach my daughter a lesson in gratitude for what many take for granted it seems to really resonate oh yeah for sure oh yeah i mean if you if you pass by construction um you you say to your kids hey let's find the women right you have people digging culverts out and sewers hey let's find the woman right, uh somebody says oh this is the person earlier nice to see you simph i completely agree with you that generosity produces a sense of entitlement in exploitive people i've also observed that resentment is that resentment which I would say likely comes from a position of not seeming like a mooch and the reminder that they are not generous or reciprocal. Sorry, I don't quite follow that. Bernardine Bluntley on ThemTube does really good content. Just turned 35. Anything men can do, we can do better. Place clips of all the very hard, difficult jobs women don't do. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, a lot of jobs are just mandated, made up. HR, air-conditioned offices, and preventing men from getting jobs. I want to be equal to men and i want a man who's better than me square circle incoming.
[53:10] They say perhaps they aren't grateful for the welfare in part because they understand that all the resources they are given are coerced from people rather than given voluntarily slave system slave society symptom yeah for sure, oh yeah the difficult jobs oil rigs where they wrap chain around a running drill deep underwater welding mining on small carts like we used to in gym class as they were lowered down a slope into a mine yeah i remember my father took me on a tour of a diamond mine in africa when i was there at the age of 16 and i just remember opening a door the wind was astounding because they have to keep the air circulating so much that the wind is just astounding, this reminds me of quote empaths i was once in a facebook group with them let me tell you they are the most vile and aggressive people they are always the victims of an evil narcissist they also claim that they are taken advantage of due to how kind and generous they are pure projection and lack of self-knowledge well these are all the people who feed corrupt people and then complain that there are corrupt people whatever you feed you get more off right so if you give resources to corrupt people, you are in part responsible for the existence of corrupt people, right? Good point. Give it to me straight, Stef, says Chris. My excuse for exploiters is a bit startling to me in hindsight. I appreciate your feedback. Thank you. That's right. Stereotypes are pretty spot on across the board.
[54:35] Is that why people like freud adler and young contributed enormous concepts to psychology.
[54:42] But adler not so much but freud and young were both myth makers and freud was an absolute monster a freud and i did a whole speech about this at a night for freedom in new york some years ago but yeah freud was an absolute monster a cocaine addict who gave his friends cocaine and praised cocaine and was just brutal to his clients and his clients came to him there were a lot of women who came to Freud and were talking about how they had been sexually assaulted.
[55:11] By mothers and fathers in their family and he started to talk about this he got threatened he had six kids at the time I guess and then this is where he came up with the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex which is well it's not that the young man was the boy was was sexually assaulted molested or raped by his mother it's that he secretly wanted to be wants to sleep with his mother and kill his father and so on right well if you're sexually assaulted by your mother you are going to be enraged at your father for marrying a woman and not protecting you marrying a woman like that and not uh protecting you or if the girl is is is sexually assaulted raped molested by her father uh then he he's it's a wish it's it didn't really happen it's just a fantasy it's a desire it's a dream so he set back children's rights uh like a hundred years and i would argue was one of the main reasons that led to world war one you read my question one word off oh sorry about that why are bad people much better at detecting good people than good people are at detecting good people i mean i think it would be the same reason that we're still not trained to detect virtue.
[56:16] I appreciate your answer to the other question as well we're going to go donor only in a few minutes so uh again you know you know the drill, Um, thank you for the tip. I appreciate that.
[56:39] All right.
[56:49] Um, you have sold me nearly instantly, but we are broke, not broken. And the reason is, is IT fraud is sabotage. Sorry, I don't quite follow that, but I appreciate the tip. In some cultures, you are not respected because it's viewed as what you should do. Asking for reciprocity is like asking for a participation trophy. The average draft beer is about $5 at the bar. Oh, yeah, so if you drink, you can afford to support philosophy. And if you buy a beer at a bar, one beer, you could have supported philosophy. So it's just a matter of being honest about your priorities. Whatever you do is what you prioritize. And if you prioritize getting a coffee out or having a beer, if that's what you spend money on and then you don't subscribe to philosophy, then you are valuing the coffee and the beer above philosophy, right? Buy their fruits, shall you know them? Judge actions, not words or intentions, right? So if you want to know what you value in life, just look at what you spend money on and what you don't spend money on. That's what you value. And I know that, and you know that, and everybody knows that, right? Because voluntary trade is the empirical test of hierarchical values. All right.
[58:18] I have a question. I have questions to discuss with you regarding the man versus woman daily bickering since one ad crashed the market to address innovation and communication spurring friction for family. Hence the public delineation using code, cache and constant vibrations to address radio communications failure. here. Let me have a look at this. Can I see this? Let me just have a look here. I'm not quite sure I'm following what it is that you're talking about. But I will have a look at the ad here to see what it does mean. That's very poetic. So I'm sorry, I can't quite follow the question. Thanks Stef that hit me in the feels and that's what I needed good I am not assertive with my with others or with myself I need to be more honest I find being honest difficult this comment is me being honest I make self excuses and I make excuses for others too yeah it's a deeply human experience I share it with you everybody here if they're honest shares that with you so I appreciate that.
[59:33] This is a sarcastic comment. My money is locked in a safe guarded by someone with a gun who will shoot me down if I try to use any of it to sub to you. Well, if that was true, then you literally can't sub. Short of that, it's I chose not to. Your choice. That's right. That's right.
[59:55] Thank you staff that has certainly given me a pride about honesty which i needed i struggle with assertiveness and i'm getting better but i still have some way to go yeah and i appreciate that and and so on right.
[1:00:13] All right, biden once said a woman can do anything a man could do but better in one of his many pandering moments yeah for sure it's demonic right it's really demonic, all right so we're going to go to donors only on the locals platform and we'll chat about a couple of spicy things there so we're going to go in uh 30 seconds just uh freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show if you're listening to this later i really would appreciate it happy father's day happy father's day and i hope that you commit to being a great dad and having your children enjoy your company and look to you for wisdom and listen to this call i did yesterday about, the really shocking circumstance within the family where a guy was he rated himself as a father at two. And that was provoking some significant negative responses for him. We'll see you on the other side.
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