Transcript: Helping a Mom with Cancer!

Chapters

0:04 - Introduction and Christmas Greetings
0:58 - AI Conversations and Challenges
2:22 - The Influence of FOMO on Parenting
2:52 - The Role of IQ in Society
6:23 - The Limits of Physical Talent
7:21 - Critique of Mr. Beast's Content
8:03 - The Concept of Pretty Privilege
10:20 - The Impact of Physical Appearance
11:46 - Pretty Privilege and Its Consequences
13:59 - The Weight of Beauty Standards
15:37 - The Nature of Generosity
16:27 - The Case for Having Children
20:50 - The Perception of Attractiveness
23:07 - The Relationship Between Looks and Intelligence
24:40 - Babies and Perception of Beauty
26:16 - Assertiveness and Attractiveness
29:47 - Interpersonal Dynamics Among Women
34:11 - The Impact of Looks in Criminal Justice
35:36 - The Burden of Family Obligations
40:20 - The Importance of Financial Preparation
43:30 - The Consequences of Poor Choices
47:31 - The Need for a Support System
52:38 - The Importance of Relationships
57:23 - The Humbling of Selfishness
58:40 - The Call for Self-Reflection
1:05:08 - The Challenge of Mental Health
1:13:19 - The Nature of Praise in Society
1:17:28 - Men and the Lack of Positive Feedback
1:21:24 - The Impact of Gender Dynamics
1:22:23 - The Consequences of Praise and Criticism
1:28:02 - The Importance of Honesty in Relationships
1:32:34 - Conclusion and Call to Action

Long Summary

This episode dives deep into a myriad of topics surrounding the complexities of human behavior, societal norms, and individual identity. We start off by exploring the current advances in artificial intelligence, specifically the challenges of creating an AI that can emulate verbal conversation in a manner that is both recognizable yet distinct from my own voice. The intricacies of this technology pose significant hurdles, reminiscent of dealing with something as peculiar as a sheep's bladder condom—a rather humorous analogy underscoring the unorthodox challenges in this domain.

As we transition to more personal stories, the conversation shifts to the cyclical nature of societal changes, particularly the phenomenon of "FOMO" (fear of missing out), as illustrated by a listener's story about contemplating parenthood following a friend's childbirth. This leads us to discuss the various societal pressures that influence reproductive choices and the existential reflections sparked by such pressures. The discussion reflects on the profound impact of societal norms and expectations on personal decisions, connecting it back to the broader theme of individual agency.

We then navigate into the intricate tapestry of physical appearance and privilege, specifically addressing the idea of "pretty privilege." I share insights on how attractiveness impacts societal treatment, professional success, and even legal judgments, underscoring a hidden bias that affects lives profoundly. This is supported by research demonstrating that good-looking individuals often receive lighter sentences in the criminal justice system, while the unattractive face harsher realities.

The conversation oscillates between personal reflections and broader societal critiques, touching upon the underlying currents of behavior shaped by one’s appearance. I articulate my belief in physical limitations and subjective perceptions of intelligence, talent, and capability. In examining various professions and the interplay between appearance and social success, I highlight educational implications and private perceptions of appearance—leading to a realization that beauty, though beneficial, carries its own burdens and downsides.

Throughout the episode, we also delve into personal anecdotes and humorous observations, including cultural references and engaging stories about parenting, challenges in contemporary relationships, and humorously reflecting on the extremes some pursue for aesthetic enhancement. The dynamic leads to discussions about authenticity in relationships, especially in the context of self-presentation, body image, and the inevitable evolution of personal circumstances over time.

Toward the end, we tackle the difficult topic of personal responsibility, ultimately questioning the societal norms that create dependencies within familial structures. I emphasize the importance of a sound foundational support system, risking nothing when it comes to establishing healthy relationships fueled by mutual care, respect, and honesty. I stress the need for individuals to engage in both self-care and relational investments, and the critical nature of introspection following life-altering challenges.

As we wrap up this thought-provoking discussion, I express gratitude for our shared exploration of these multifaceted narratives. This episode leaves listeners with much to ponder about the interplay of identity, privilege, and societal expectation as we navigate the complexities of life together.

Transcript

[0:00] Good morning. Hey, almost Merry Christmas to everyone. Hope you're doing well.

[0:04] Introduction and Christmas Greetings

[0:04] And freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. And we've got great comments, issues, challenges, questions, cooking away. And I want to make sure we get to them all. Somebody has asked with the AI, have we looked into getting it to talk with people? In other words, you have a verbal conversation with someone who sounds eerily like me, but slightly zaner. Well yes we are looking into that it's a tricky thing uh to pull off, like a sheep's bladder condom it's a tricky thing to pull pull off so that is uh that is a challenge, that is a challenge so.

[0:52] We'll uh we're looking into it and we're going to try and sort it out and all kinds of good stuff will happen, I'm sure.

[0:58] AI Conversations and Challenges

[0:58] It's, you know, it's James. What can I tell you? I beg, I beg and I plead. And James is all like, well, aren't you interested in what's technically possible? I'm like, I'm not interested in what's technically possible. I'm interested in what I want. Actually, you know, James works very hard and I really do appreciate that. But, uh, nothing yet. What was it? There's a little video of a guy showing the movie The Two Towers to his girlfriend, and she's like, is this a 9-11 movie?

[1:31] Somebody wrote, was it yesterday or a day or two ago? It's a woman who wrote, my friend just had a baby, and now I kind of want one. Maybe our species procreates via FOMO, fear of missing out. And that's actually quite a common thing. It's actually quite a common thing. And somebody was saying that um that they just had a baby and they went to all of their friends who are in relationships but don't have kids and handed the baby around and we'll see like we had about i don't know eight million people at her house yesterday and there was truckloads of babies and toddlers roaming around and so adorable grandfather Stef is looking forward to making an entrance. But yes, so absolutely crazy, crazy adorable.

[2:22] The Influence of FOMO on Parenting

[2:22] Somebody wrote, this is unusual whales, referring of course to the prince, the country, or people who have a lot of Bitcoin. Says, we have a model that assumes that by 2050, we have a model that assumes that by 2050 Bitcoin becomes a reserve asset that is held by central banks at a 2% weight. In that model, we arrive at a $3 million price target for Bitcoin from a guy named Van Eck. Van Eck.

[2:52] The Role of IQ in Society

[2:52] This guy wrote, I think it's interesting. Ironically, the fact that society is so stratified by IQ makes people IQ deniers because everyone around them is of similar intelligence and other factors like effort, personality, and luck determine their relative outcomes. And that's interesting. So one of the reasons I think why I am not an IQ denier is I grew up around people and worked with people who were not smart.

[3:21] Not smart and i kind of get the mindset and i have sympathy right i have sympathy i mean if i were to say to my wife i want to be an opera singer she'd say well no you can't like you and it's like no no no i'll take training it's like yes but you lack the sort of physical instrument to be an opera singer right especially if i said i'm going to be a counter tenor so, i don't have the physical equipment can i be a hair model no i'm bald right i mean you you have your physical limitations. Can I go and become a lead ballet dancer for the Bolshoi? No, I'm not flexible. I'm not particularly good at rehearsed dances. I'm okay at spontaneous dances. And I'm also 58. So it's not good. Like you've missed the window, you're past the window, right? So realizing the physical limitations, and if you've ever had this thing, and talent is a kind of physical limitation as well. There was some famous actor, I think he was in the 40s or 50s, who was sort of famously known for having this thoughtful look on screen. And he's like, people are like, how do you do that? He's like, I don't know. I just look at a spot and it just kind of happens, right? He doesn't have any idea how he does it. People have tried to say, well, Marlon Brando's genius as an actor was because he used the method. And it's like, no, not particularly. He was not particularly method-based. And so, yeah, so there are just physical limitations. You know, short guys are short guys. Physical limitations.

[4:46] And if short guys, you can get these operations now to make you taller, right? But the problem with that, of course, is that then it's a kind of fraud. At some point, you have to say to a woman you're dating, if you have sons, don't take my height as genetic, right? It's not genetic. And it's the same thing. Like one of the reasons I didn't want to get hair transplants was it just seemed like it just seemed like really vain and sad and self-rejecting. Like I am who I am, right? and my body does wonderful great things produces great ideas and thoughts and i've been healthy for most of my life and uh so i mean i take care of my body it takes care of me we have a good relationship and so i didn't want to say there's something fundamentally wrong but also then you have to see let's say you get hair transplants it looks like you're the kind of guy who keeps his hair his whole life at some point i'd have to say to a woman i was dating or might have kids with um i'm i'm bald.

[5:41] And don't, uh, because, you know, then you're going to end up with kids who don't look like you if they're sons, right? Or don't look like their dad very much, right? So it just seemed, uh, just kind of, I mean, there was a, there was a guy in China who sued his wife because his wife was very pretty. And then the babies came out and they were ugly as sin. And he sued her because he found out like in this mystery, he's like, did you have an affair? How can you be so pretty? I'm a good looking guy and her babies are ugly and it turns out she'd have massive amounts of plastic surgery done and didn't look like that at all. And that's just a form of fraud. Of course, right?

[6:23] The Limits of Physical Talent

[6:24] Of course. So.

[6:29] It's very sad. It's very sad. All right. Let me get to your questions, comments, issues. Mr. Beast's new game show a master class on human nature. Yeah, I don't know. It would be nice. I mean, PewDiePie went a little bit on the philosophical side and so on. Mr. Beast just seems like a stimulation monster. It's just a stimulation monster. I'm going to crash a school bus into a canyon. It's just, you know, stimulation monster. And, you know, it'd be nice if he took some of his wealth and energy and put it more into making the world a better place rather than adding to the ADHD of the younger set. But, I mean, some people follow the money and they want the fame and they don't particularly care about the virtue. And it's really sad.

[7:21] Critique of Mr. Beast's Content

[7:21] And not only does he pay the price in the long run, but so will his audience. All right. Merry be early Christmas. Yes, Christmas. Thank you.

[7:36] Three million in 2050 seems pretty conservative. Yeah, yeah. In 2050, I'll be older. Might not even be here. Be 80 or something, right? No, 83. All right. I think there's a real, you know what? I should do this math real and not freak myself out. 20, I can do it this way. 20, 50 minus 1966. I should know this. 84, no, 83, 84. All right.

[8:03] The Concept of Pretty Privilege

[8:03] Imagine your father suing your mother because you were ugly. Well, I can see the lawsuit. I really can. I can absolutely see the lawsuit. Because why is pretty valuable? Why do we even have the definition of pretty? Because pretty signifies genetic fitness and attractive people do better. You know, they talk about white privilege, rich privilege, and so on. But the real privilege is pretty privilege.

[8:29] I see this with my wife and daughter. The real privilege is pretty privilege.

[8:34] And I mean, we've, you know, we've seen this, you've seen that meme of the tubby guy complimenting a woman and she calls human resources in horror. And then the good looking guy compliments the woman and she's like, oh, you're so sweet. You know, I mean, it's a bit of a meme. It's a bit of a cliche, but yeah, the real privilege is pretty privilege. I mean, if you look at women online, I mean, you know, the pretty privilege is ridiculous, right? It's just ridiculous. And pretty privilege was not supposed to last for more than maybe 12 to 16 months, because you're supposed to get married and be taken and off the market. But women can now milk this pretty privilege into their, well, Salma Hayek, right, into their 50s. And yeah, the real privilege is pretty privilege. So if you get married to a woman because she's pretty, that's in part because you want your children to have the advantage of physical attractiveness. And it is a big big advantage it's a big advantage to be good-looking it's a huge advantage to be good-looking thank you for the tip adam yes tips welcome freedom dot com slash donate to help out the show it's christmas and it would be most humbly gratefully and passionately accepted and praised so yeah the real privilege is pretty privilege and for a woman to pretend that she has.

[10:01] A beauty, which she doesn't have, is fraud. Absolute fraud. Absolute fraud. And pretty privilege also means that you're likely not going to squander, because you don't squander your pretty privilege by getting fat or lazy or whatever it is, right?

[10:20] The Impact of Physical Appearance

[10:21] So you know enough to know how the world works. It indicates a certain intelligence and looks are related, right? Intelligence and looks are related, right? So, if a woman has a lot of plastic surgery, she's not just appearing more pretty, she's not just appearing to have better genetics, she's appearing to be smarter.

[10:44] And she also, you know, I remember watching a Dr. Phil many years ago where a couple lost a lot of weight and they both went on these promiscuity binges because suddenly becoming pretty or handsome through plastic surgery or other things can happen through weight loss as well. But suddenly getting that means you don't grow up with that kind of power. You don't grow up learning how to manage and handle that kind of power, that kind of pretty privilege. So you're more likely to go haywire in the same way that if you grow up with money, right, then your parents help you understand money and help you work with money and help you make sure you don't lose the money and all of that. And you kind of grow up used to that and you get all of that training and experience. But then the problem is, what if you grew up dirt poor and then you suddenly inherit a bunch of money? Well, if you inherit a bunch of money, you don't have the social environment, you don't have the expertise, you're not used to it, which is why a lot of people who win the lottery go bankrupt and their lives are a real mess.

[11:46] Pretty Privilege and Its Consequences

[11:47] So if you don't grow up with pretty privilege and learn how to handle and manage it when you're young, but you suddenly, you go under the knife and you get pretty privileged later, you won't know how to handle it very well.

[12:03] So, it's a big deal. The pretty privileged stuff, people don't really like to talk about it. And how much talent it takes to overcome, like, what was it, Gene Hackman, a famous actor. He's retired now. I think he's writing novels. And he was like, yeah, I mean, I look like a potato. I mean, how good do I have to be to get any roles?

[12:29] All right. Somebody says, I think there's a real chance the dollar gets dramatically stronger and less inflated. You said last time I mentioned this, that it's impossible, but this is Elon we're talking about.

[12:44] Elon has no official role in government. I think he could be speaker constitutionally, but I doubt that's going to happen. But Elon, it's like saying, I'm so good at math, I can overcome the rules of math. Right you know there's like those basketball players that he's defying gravity well of course not really it's just a lot of skill and talent right so but no the dollar is going to keep uh they just blew a 200 billion hole in social security last night looking at malay and argentina the economy can be turned over drastically if you fire the whole government, sure of course i get that yes yes that's true but that's like in in the course of history into the course of a country, that's like somebody who remains committed to alcoholism. He's just cutting back on his drinking because he's dying. Not that he's going to quit drinking, right? And I'm not talking about Malay. I know he's an ANCAP, or at least I think he is. But the society in Argentina, yes, they've gone to an excess of government, so a cutback government is going to generate a lot of wealth. And then when there's a lot of wealth, people are going to say, well, I guess we should have a whole bunch of social programs back because look at the disparity between rich and poor, and you just start the whole damn cycle all over again.

[13:59] The Weight of Beauty Standards

[14:00] Beauty is not only good looking.

[14:09] Is this this is how you add value to a conversation is you state blindingly obvious things that nobody's talking about i'm talking about pretty privileged in the dating market and you say well but there's there's forms of beauty that aren't about just being good looking it's like and yes that's true you know this stock is really going up you know there are a bunch of things in this world that aren't going up i mean elevators going down aren't going it's like this Is this how you add value? We're not talking about beauty as an abstract concept. We're talking about pretty privilege in the dating market. Try to stay with what people are talking about and don't state blindingly obvious things that have nothing to do with the conversation because quality people probably won't want to chat with you very much. And I think you should have quality people chat with you because if you're here, you're a smart, great person.

[14:59] A pretty privilege to someone also means you will avoid most of the arrogant, abusive slash toxic people that have embedded negative relationships. I don't know about that. I mean, there's a lot of... The worst combo is very pretty, but not very smart, because then you get kind of exploited, right? I mean, what was it, Amaranth? We talked about this some years ago. She had a conversation with her husband, kind of go public, and he was just being really mean to her. There are a lot of pretty people who aren't particularly smart or wise or don't have good quality people around them who end up being quite exploited, in a way.

[15:37] The Nature of Generosity

[15:38] All right. Nikki Glaser spent almost $100,000 to attend 22 Taylor Swift shows because she doesn't have kids. Right? So Nikki Glaser only exists because people have kids. Taylor Swift only exists because people have kids. The concert only exists because people have kids to set up the concert and go to the concert. So that's parasitical. Well i you know i really want the electricity to run in my old age so people better better have kids i really want there to be young doctors in my old age who can take care of me so people better have kids i really want to go to these taylor swift concerts so people better have kids.

[16:21] I really want electricity and HVAC and everything to work when I get older, so people better have kids. I'm not doing it.

[16:27] The Case for Having Children

[16:27] I mean, it's a lot of work, and I'd rather futz around and spend my hard-earned capital on useless transitory experiences. People better have kids. Can you imagine? I mean, that which cannot be universalized, right? And again, maybe she can't have kids. That's a different matter. We're talking about the people who could have kids. But yeah, I can't tell you just how impatient and annoying it is when people, Angela Beccarino or whatever her name is. Oh, I don't have kids, and so I can go to bars on Thanksgiving and drink alone. It's like, okay. So, who built the bars? Oh, people who have kids. Who produces your alcohol? Oh, people have kids. Who's providing electricity to the bar? Oh, people have kids. The Uber driver you took who was in his 20s is only able to drive you because people have kids. So, you rely on an entire social structure that exists to provide comfort for you because other people have children, and you won't even add to that. That's gross and selfish beyond words. If you're not going to have kids, at least say, well, you know, I didn't have kids, so I don't want to pillage other people's kids from my old age pensions. I'll just go live in the woods or get on an iceberg Inuit style.

[17:34] I know a few in which changes of outlook made them uglier. Well, if the change in outlook is I'm no longer going to exercise or eat well, then yes. Stef, about how much percentage advantage do you think pretty privilege gains you? Well, that's actually measurable.

[17:55] Yeah, that's actually measurable. So the two places I know of where it's been measured.

[18:04] Has income, professional opportunities, and prison sentences if you get in trouble with the law. All right, so researchers at the University of New Mexico found that there may be a link between general intelligence and body symmetry. Physical symmetry is thought by some scientists to indicate developmental stability or an organism's ability to turn its genetic blueprint into a strong body despite the influence of harmful stuff like toxins, genetic mutations, injuries, parasites, and inbreeding. Developmental stability has also been positively linked to body symmetry. After administering an intellectual test to a group of study participants, researchers found that participants who exhibited greater body symmetry, evenness of features, received higher scores. A study out of the university of wisconsin found that the s&p 500 companies with more attractive ceos were more likely to have higher revenue than companies with less attractive leaders the researchers found that companies with ceos who rated higher on facial attractiveness index experienced high stock returns immediately following a tv appearance of that ceo when the same CEO featured in a news article without images, stock returns didn't see the same boost.

[19:18] In researching the effects of attractiveness on screening decisions, one experiment found that both male and female applicants who were considered attractive were more likely to make it to the next phase of a simulated hiring process than unattractive applicants with the same credentials and resume.

[19:39] If you're running for office you might fare better if you're good looking according to a Finnish study found that both male and female political candidates do better at the polls than more average looking, politicians how much better? an increase in the study's measure of beauty by one standard deviation was associated with an increase of 20% in the number of votes a candidate received right? I mean ever since TV B, there are no real successful bald politicians, right? And yet when men are in their sort of 60s and 70s, 90% of men have had hair loss, right? So you're restricting your, so the taller candidate always wins and the candidate with better hair usually wins, so.

[20:25] All right, a 1972 study found that people were more likely to assume attractive strangers led wonderful lives. After showing college students photographs of people of varying attractiveness, researchers found that the students more frequently estimated that the pretty subjects were successful, happy, and less likely to remain a single. The students also assumed that the attractive individuals in the photographs would be, quote, more competent spouses and have better marriages than the less attractive subjects.

[20:50] The Perception of Attractiveness

[20:50] But that's almost true by definition, because if being good-looking means that you have more choices. You get more job offers, you get more dating opportunities, and so on. You get more positive treatment from people in authority. Cops treat you better, like everyone knows, like the woman with cleavage. I mean, you see this meme, like a woman who's being pulled over by the cop, pulls down her top, shows some cleavage and get off the ticket, right? So we would assume that people who have more choices end up with happier lives, right? I mean, if you have 10 job offers, then you can pick the best job for you. If you have only one job offer, you have to take that job in general, right? So yeah, if you have more options, you end up with a happier life. People want more choices, right? Money is simply a measure of the choices you have, right? If you're broke, you don't have choices to buy a car. You don't have choices to go on vacation. You don't have choices to buy a house. You don't have choices to take some time them off.

[21:51] If you have money, you have choices. And if, since being attractive helps you make more money, then being attractive gives you more choices, both in the jobs that you get, which means the money that you get, which means the choices you can make. Money is just a measure of the choices you have.

[22:06] Pretty people might be perceived to be healthier. Having symmetrical facial features might make you seem healthier to other people. That's pretty obvious. The study found no connection between facial symmetry and actual physical health. It was just that people were perceived as healthier. Even though facial symmetry is sometimes associated with, quote, good genes, science has yet to find any proof that being attractive makes you less likely to have health problems. And I don't think that's true. I mean, sorry, I don't mean to call, I assume all the science is a lie until proven otherwise these days, especially around intelligence. All science is a lie, for me, until proven otherwise. Because the replication crisis, which is that there are all of these, particularly in psychology, psychology is a bullshit artistry masquerading as a Ponzi scheme, masquerading as pretend academia and pretend science. The replication crisis in psychology is hugely high. Stuff that's considered to be canon or law within psychology just can't be reproduced.

[23:07] The Relationship Between Looks and Intelligence

[23:08] So if this is sort of thing, if good genes are associated with intelligence, sorry, if being good looking is associated with intelligence and intelligence, for instance, is associated with lower BMI, so the more intelligent you are in general, the less obese you are. And so this is one of the problems. If you look around and you see, well, people are getting fatter. Well, part of that is because people are getting dumber. The deferral of gratification and knowledge of nutrition that is needed to maintain a healthy weight in the face of endless waves of temptation requires a higher IQ. It doesn't require if people accepted, misunderstood it, and tailored the message to people who, through no fault of their own, are less smart, should be treated with compassion and kindness and all of that kind of good stuff. But...

[23:58] Sorry, 82 now, 83. Sorry, I was just doing the math in my head. Okay, so if facial symmetry is associated with higher intelligence, and higher intelligence is lowered, it is related to lower BMI, and lower BMI is related to better health outcomes, then that's just dominoes, right? Then more facial symmetry leads to better health outcomes, right? You sort of follow the logic. More health, higher facial symmetry being good-looking, higher IQ, higher IQ, lower BMI, lower BMI, better health outcomes, then it would be related. So, I just assume that that's my thing. Scientists have found evidence that babies can tell the difference between a pretty face and an unattractive one.

[24:40] Babies and Perception of Beauty

[24:40] In one study, 60 babies were exposed to color images of 16 adult women and 16 adult men. Each of the images had been previously rated for attractiveness by adults. The researchers found that babies looked longer at the attractive adult faces than the unattractive faces. This is actually true with ethnic preferences as well. Interestingly, when shown pictures of other infants that had been similarly rated for attractiveness by adults, infants were also more likely to linger on the images of the attractive babies. You know, it's amazing how much visual recording has allowed people to do these sort of subtle things.

[25:17] People who don't wear makeup might be perceived as more trustworthy and genuine than those who use cosmetics, according to one recent study. When researchers examined the reactions of female participants to other females wearing makeup, they found that the observers were more likely to make negative assumptions about people who had enhanced their appearance with cosmetics. This is true. I don't, in general.

[25:41] Date women who wear much makeup. I saw this as a pretty funny meme about a woman. And of course, a bit of a cliche, but the woman was saying on her date, I need to see your bank account to know if it's worth me investing in this relationship. And the man said, sure, no problem. And then he showed her his bank account and then he put a scale down beside her and said, now I need you to stand off. I need you to stand on the scale so I can get an accurate reading of your weight. And then I need you to use this makeup remover and take off your makeup. So I get a sense of whether I want to invest in this day. And she's like, oh no, absolutely not. right?

[26:16] Assertiveness and Attractiveness

[26:16] Being attractive might make you more likely to speak up when you feel wronged, according to one study. When researchers were intentionally impolite to female participants, those participants rated highly physically attractive were more likely to correct the researcher than those participants rated as unattractive. The more beautiful participants also exhibited higher levels of assertiveness than their less attractive counterparts. Well, sure, because if you're good-looking, people will get your back. If you're good-looking, I mean, you've seen the simp army, right? Somebody says something negative about a woman online or criticizes an attractive woman online, the simp army comes out to watch her back. So particularly female participants, they know they have a simp army to get their back, to cheer them on, to attack anyone who... So yeah, they're more likely to... They've got a backup, right? It's very easy to be brave when you have an army behind you, right?

[27:05] Let's see here. According to a study from Chapman University, attractiveness was a characteristic that both men and women reported finding highly desirable and even essential in a long-term partner. 92% of male study participants reported wanting their potential partner to be good-looking, while 84% of female participants felt the same.

[27:30] So it's a big deal it's a big deal, now there are of course some downsides did you know that attractive female students get marked down when it's a remote, not in person class so if you're an attractive female student you get marked up if you're in person if you're not in person, you get marked down, right? So from getting higher marks in school for handing in the same quality work to receiving more help when needed, from having an easier time job hunting to getting higher salaries, pretty people have an advantage. Good-looking people are also less likely to be judged as guilty in legal and courtroom settings, not to mention the obvious advantages they possess in the relationships and dating departments. Even in childhood, kids who are cuter are often treated more favorably. Numerous research studies, articles, and anecdotal pieces of evidence are available that give a very comprehensive coverage of this beauty premium phenomenon and its underlying mechanisms. For women in particular, though, it can be a problem in that you will experience a lot of sabotage from intersexual competitors, right, from other females. From other females.

[28:52] So, envy-rated hostility, that's an important aspect of pretty privilege. While it is true that better-looking people are often more liked by the opposite sex, the reverse is also true for others of the same sex. For instance, good-looking students are more likely to be socially excluded or bullied by those of the same sex than their less attractive counterparts, presumably as a result of envy, right? So, if you've got an average-looking woman, she doesn't want to be standing next to a beautiful woman because then she will look bad, right? Because beauty is to some degree relative, of course, right? So if a six is standing next to a 10, she looks like a four. So, right, that's going to be an issue. A similar dynamic can be observed in workplace settings where good-looking employees face a greater level of hostility from colleagues and superiors of the same sex. Furthermore, physically attractive candidates are typically less successful in job interviews with interviews of the same sex, and this is believed to be because they are seen as a threat, right?

[29:47] Interpersonal Dynamics Among Women

[29:48] Everybody knows the wife, the husband, the successful husband gets a secretary. If the secretary is very attractive, the wife is angry or upset. And women in the business world are often competing for the high-status men, and women don't want to hire more attractive women because then they might lose out to the competition for the high-status men.

[30:11] People often make positive trait inferences upon initial encounters with good-looking people, such as assuming good-looking people are more intelligent, healthy, and kind. There are also many undesirable traits that are automatically assumed to accompany physical attractiveness. Good-looking people can often give off the initial impression of being self-centered, entitled, incompetent, and promiscuous, at least according to others, right? So do attractive people really have an easy in life?

[30:44] So workplace disadvantages alone can have a profound effect in life this is because approximately 50 of our co-workers in the average workplace are expected to be those of the same sex for obvious reasons therefore the advantage of being good looking may be more or less offset by the accompanying disadvantages in other words the men might promote you but the women will sabotage you so that's uh that's a problem as a whole so yeah i mean i'm the sentencing disparities are wild uh let's see here, sentencing disparities.

[31:29] Physical attract, physically, physically, let's say physically attractive. All right, the impact of physical appearance on legal proceedings. Physical appearance has been found to have a significant impact on sentencing decisions in the U.S. justice system. Attractive defendants tend to receive more lenient sentences, while those considered unattractive are more likely to receive harsher sentences. So there's a big, a big bias. Researchers found that defendants who appeared more trustworthy based on their facial features were more likely to receive shorter prison sentences. I don't think there's any particular data here. This is just an overview. I'll try one more and see if we can get some more details. Disable my ad blocker. I don't think I will. I don't think I will.

[32:35] Oh, all right. We can do a PDF, I guess.

[32:41] Ah, yes. Attractiveness in the criminal justice system. Research to date has generally found that fortune favors the beautiful, with studies finding attractive individuals have better health outcomes. Ah, I told you that was the case. As well as increased reproductive success, obviously, as it pertains to criminal justice, research suggests that physical attractiveness tends to afford individuals more lenient in the criminal justice system.

[33:06] Beaver. Oh, I bet you that's Kevin Beaver. Love that guy. Examined how physical attractiveness was related to involvement in criminal activity, arrest, conviction, incarceration, and probation. Research has found that people who were considered attractive were less likely to engage in criminal behavior, of course, and less likely to be arrested or convicted. Examining waves one through three of blah, blah, blah, data set, the relationship between attractiveness and involvement in criminal behavior, including property, drug, and violent crimes. The researchers found participant attractiveness remained relatively stable from early adolescence into early adulthood. Sorry, that's not entirely clear. I sounded confident, and I'm like, well, what does that actually mean uh i'm looking for it's a higher but i'm i'm just curious what the actual uh numbers are, i'm looking for a table i'm looking for a table oh there we go, descriptive statistics i should just get it i should just get higher to some ai to summarize this that's probably the way to go.

[34:11] The Impact of Looks in Criminal Justice

[34:11] All right let's try one more try more because ah this is an abstract yeah yeah yeah i don't care about your stinking cookies all right i'm looking for method i don't care about your method i'm caring about your results oh that's a lot of numbers man all right so again well you can look up the numbers yourself in uh in general but yeah i have pdfs of like many pages are a challenge, are a challenge.

[34:49] Physical attractiveness of 74 defendants in criminal court. Let's see here. The more attractive the defendant, the less severe the sentence imposed. So, I mean, if you have attractive kids, they're less likely to become criminals. So there's a lot of reasons why somebody might want to sue someone who faked their level of attractiveness. So it's a very real thing. It's a very real thing. All right, let's get to your questions, comments. Very interesting stuff. When the unfunded liabilities default, how do you think boomers will react?

[35:36] The Burden of Family Obligations

[35:37] Oh, that's as predictable as sunrise. So when the unfunded liabilities run out, the boomers will descend like guilty, frothy-haired waves of manipulative guilt, and all of the kids that they dumped in daycares and ignored to go on cruises, and the grandchildren that they've ignored, suddenly the boomers will morph into absolutely devoted family members that you owe massive amounts of obligations and resource and time and care and attention and shelter to. They will drop down off the necks of their kids like a bunch of Winnie Mandela necklaces. So they are going to come. I always think of that. Like with the Boomers, there's a scene in The Wall, the movie The Wall, where there's this great creepy song called The Trial. The mother sort of comes screaming in, ah, my baby. And it's a really great and terrifying song. I actually analyzed it when I was in high school for a teacher. And they'll just come screaming in. You owe us. Family is everything. You know, we need you. How dare you even... Like, they'll just come in and manipulate, right? They'll come in and guilt and manipulate and bully and like that kind of stuff, right?

[36:51] Somebody asks, Eric, is 26 male and 18 to 19-year-old female too much of an age gap? I got my life together and I'm ready for a girlfriend, but girls online, 21 and over, are feminist, ran through and just repellent. I'm afraid I missed the boat. No, I don't think it particularly matters. I mean, I think that there are some age groups that the age differences that probably are pretty big, but no. I mean, if you had a tough childhood, then you generally mature a little later. Mature, I always sound like mature. That's Kevin Samuels, kids. You got kids, kids, kids, no, K-Y-E-E-D-Z. So yeah, I mean, if you get along, right, if you get along, great.

[37:33] 10% to the big guy. Thank you, Eric. I appreciate the tip. That's very kind. Very kind. All right. Sorry, I missed a bunch of questions because I was yapping, as my daughter would say, and yapping. Eric says, my good friend's mother has recently been diagnosed with cancer. They have a treatment plan, but their family does not have the money to cover the deductible portion of the cost. I do have money available for this first round of treatment. If I pay for this round, I'm sure I would be looked to for further treatment payments. I would feel the pressure of all their family then looking to me to pay rather than my moment of generosity of the first payment. How do I navigate this to help? That's, I mean, it's very thoughtful and very kind of you to figure this out. I have a bit of trouble understanding this as a whole. And I smell manipulation. Could be wrong, probably am wrong. I'm just telling you, smells like boomers. So what do you mean they don't have money?

[38:39] My good friend's mother, okay, so let's say she's in her 50s, right? So what do you mean she doesn't have money? That's incomprehensible to me. So well, you know, but she doesn't have a lot of money in the bank account. So I don't follow. Nobody in the family has any assets. Nobody in the family has any assets. They're all just living in cardboard boxes in a van down by the river. What does that mean? Do they have a car they can sell? Do they have a house they can sell? Do they have any annuities? Do they have any insurance policies they could not cash in, but you can sell them sometimes or get maybe not insurance. Do they have no disability insurance? Do they have no catastrophic health insurance? I don't understand how you can get into your 50s, have a family and have no assets. Does nobody in the family have any assets? Like, it's incomprehensible. Why are they coming to you? Don't have the money to cover. Bullshit. I call bullshit. Sell your house. There's no point in having a house if you're dead.

[39:45] There's no point in having... You should have people in your life who will do anything to keep you alive. Why doesn't she have people in her life who will do anything to keep you alive? To keep her alive. Why not? You should provide enough good and value to the world that people will move heaven and earth to keep you alive.

[40:11] Where's her husband? Where's her husband? Where's her husband? Oh, did she get divorced?

[40:20] The Importance of Financial Preparation

[40:20] There are consequences, right? I mean, the number of women who are going to get old and be broke, I mean, this is where social security came in to begin with, right? Because they were like, well, I don't need no man. I'm a strong, independent woman. And it's funny, you know, I've been paying my own bills since I was 15 years old. I've never once thought of myself as a strong, independent man, because that would be embarrassing. I'm just an adult. Maybe adulthood came a little bit early for me, but that's fine. So I don't understand why it's landing on you. The fuck is wrong with the family? That there aren't people stepping up to pay the bills. Maybe she's estranged everyone. Maybe she's been really mean or bad or nasty or whatever, right? And it's like, well, then you've got to go mend your fences. Now you're in a situation of need. You're in a situation of scarcity. Like we have relationships based on scarcity. We can't see behind us. We've got our eyes in front like all predators because people have to watch our back. So we have a scarcity of vision behind us. We're not like chameleons with those big bulbous eyes floating around like Mickey Mouse ears, right? We can't see behind us because people are supposed to watch our back. So we have a deficiency, right? We don't see ourselves that well because other people are supposed to give us feedback.

[41:37] So why does she have a deficiency? She has a deficiency because she has a deficiency in her relationships. Why are people not stepping up and say, oh, so-and-so is ill. Come on, everybody. Let's band together. You know, sell what you got to sell. Have a garage sale. Sell your house. Sell your cars. So-and-so's ill, and they are what matter. That person is what matter. We do anything we can to keep that person alive. We'll hold an online drive. We'll ask for charitable donations. Where's her congregation? Where's her community? Where's her friendships? Where's her family? Why is it coming to you? Don't take the bait.

[42:18] If somebody's sick, let's say she needs 20,000 bucks, right? I don't know, 10,000 bucks, 20, whatever it is, right? Okay. Did she get proper health insurance? Did she get proper disability insurance? Did she get catastrophic illness insurance? If she didn't, that's a choice. She saved all of that money. She saved all of those thousands of dollars over the years by not having this kind of insurance. It's not a risk I would take. It's not a risk I would take, but it's a risk that she chose to take. I mean, let's take an extreme example. This is how I view it. If somebody has been a smoker for 40 years and wants you to give them a lung, do you give them a lung? No. No, you don't give them a lung. I mean, if it's an accident, if it's, you know, just bad luck, you can obviously think about it. If it's your kid, then you would write. But you don't give a smoker your lung?

[43:16] I don't know. Can you give an alcoholic part of your liver? I don't know. Why would you harm your health for choices other people have made? Voluntary choice. Iris, hey, my body, my choice. Okay, great.

[43:30] The Consequences of Poor Choices

[43:31] It's her body, her choice. If she chose, I guess she did choose not to get any kind of catastrophic illness health insurance. Okay. That's a choice. It's not a choice I would make. It's not a choice I have made, but it's a choice she made. Why are you responsible for other people's poor financial choices? Why are you responsible for the lack of love around her that your friend has to go to you, because this woman's family and friendship and community doesn't care enough about her to pay for her treatment. And she doesn't care enough about her future self to get some damn insurance.

[44:24] Now, you're a caring guy. I appreciate that. It's very thoughtful what you're doing. But you're going to be covering up a massive deficiency in this family. There's a reason why the family, the friends, the community, the extended family is not moving heaven and earth to pay these bills. There is a massive lack of love, care and commitment, and investment in the family. You're not solving that by throwing money at the problem. The family needs to heal. People need to actually care about it. each other and people need to make better decisions. You throwing money at this issue is not going to heal or solve the family problems. In fact, it's going to take away money from your future family, your kids, your life when you're making better decisions. It's kind of like a gambler because not having life insurance is a kind of gambling. I don't particularly like to subsidize gamblers because I think that level of gambling is irresponsible. So if you had, if your friend's mother...

[45:29] Had gambled and owed $20,000 that nobody could pay, and she was facing, I don't know, eviction, bad credit, whatever, I don't know. She was facing all these negative interactions. Would you go and pay off her gambling debt? Well, if you did pay off her gambling debt, she'd just gamble more. Some people learn through reason. Some people have to learn through suffering. Now, I'm not saying that you let her suffer because that's going to teach her something, but there's a reason why it's coming to you and the other family members are not stepping up to do everything it takes.

[46:07] To help this woman. And please, for the love of all this holy people, get insurance. Get insurance. It's just basic mathematical maturity. You never know what the hell's going to happen in life. Get insurance. God, especially if you have kids. Get insurance. I mean, why doesn't this mother have the insurance that covers these issues? Why doesn't she have this insurance? That's important. This is blindingly important. Why doesn't she have this insurance? She gambled. She gambled. This is not having insurance is a giant gamble. I don't recommend it at all. Get insurance. So she's a gambler. and unfortunately she rolled snake eyes.

[47:01] So if i were in your shoes i can't tell you what to do obviously this is a very complicated situation freedomain.com slash call if you talk about it more is if you care about your friend and his mother then i would sit down with my friend and maybe his mother but certainly with my friend and i would say okay so how much money do you need 20 000 okay so that's an interesting challenge, right? So help me understand why the family doesn't have the money, where's her husband, where's her savings, where are her assets, right?

[47:31] The Need for a Support System

[47:32] Now, let's say she's been working her whole life and she doesn't have any assets. It's like, but why doesn't she have any assets? Well, she spent a lot of money on, I don't know, Amazon and cruises. It's like, that's a bad call. Like she should have saved her money. Like, I don't know that I'm in debt because other people make bad decisions. Bad decisions. And maybe it was a good decision. It could have been a fun decision. Decisions are only good or bad. I mean, not moral decisions, but practical decisions are only good or bad in hindsight. If you spend all your money, you don't save for a thing, and then you get hit by a bus when you're 55 and die instantly, well, it's a good thing you had all those fun experiences because you died kind of young and you didn't need to save for your retirement. So it was a good decision to go to 10 Taylor Swift concerts or take cruises or I don't know, whatever, right? Good decision, right?

[48:27] However, if you spend all your money, don't save your old age, and then you live to be 90 and nobody particularly cares about you, that's a bad decision. It's a bad decision then. It's a gamble, right? All non-moral decisions are gambles. All non-moral decisions are gambles. And I don't subsidize gamblers personally. Now, I sit down with my friend with K. What does she need? She needs 10K. She needs 20K. Okay. So what are your options for getting the money? This is just a problem to be solved. what are your options for getting the money okay uh well she's got a husband she's got two sisters she's got aunts she's got uncles she's got grandparents okay so how many people does she have in her life who care about her well she's got 20 people in her life who care about her i was like okay well that's good so if she needs ten thousand dollars everybody's got to kick in 500 bucks if she needs twenty thousand dollars everybody's got to kick in a thousand bucks so make that happen well but she's estranged from this person she's estranged from that person she had a big fight, but this person, okay, well, then she screwed up her social support system.

[49:34] Why should I pay? Because she was immature or petty or vengeful or she, I mean, I mean, hey, I blew up my support system for when I was younger. My family and my friends don't have any contact with any of them, but I have a new support system. Freedomain.com slash donate to help out, but I have a new support system, which is actually reliable and all of that. So if you blow up your old support system because they were bad people, great, make a new support system. But the idea that you can go through life with no support system is madness. It's like a lion saying, screw the pride, I'm going to go do it all by myself. It's like, well, you won't be able to hunt very well and you won't be able to reproduce, so you're out of the gene pool. People who don't develop and maintain their support systems, where they're generous to other people, other people are generous back. They're really rolling the dice. Again, investing into a support system is a big deal. It's a big deal. I have friends, sometimes I'll spend a long time on the phone with them. They're going through something tough and so on. You invest in a support system so that you have people who will help you out.

[50:47] Really important. And it doesn't have to be friends. Obviously, it can be relatives, your wife, your husband, and your in-laws, and you marry into a good family and all of that. So y'all need support systems. You know this, right? I mean, a lot of us grew up with this kind of neglected isolation thing, and that's what you have to do to survive as a kid. But as an adult, you need a support system. You need people who care about you. You need people in your life who won't let you die who won't let you die.

[51:21] Now, if there's a woman like this woman, let's just take an extreme example. And again, you can call me. We can do a call-in show about this in more detail. I'm just putting out some hypotheticals, right? So let's say that this woman, petty, mean, selfish, right? Can't contradict her. She's alienated everyone. She got fired all the time because she wouldn't listen to her boss. And she's just made terrible decisions. And nobody cares about her. Nobody likes her. Nobody wants her. Well, that's a shame. I think that's a shame. And let's say you because you have resources you've made better decisions you've made quality decisions you've made good decisions so why would you take money from your life which is a reflection of your good decisions and give it to a petty mean vengeful selfish person.

[52:06] Who's made terrible decisions and has been intransigent and aggressive and intolerant and abusive and neglectful and narcissistic, whatever, right? Why? Take what you want and pay for it. That's life. If you want to be mean, petty, and selfish, people won't really care about you. And then when you get into trouble, you're kind of on your own. It's a choice. I respect people's choices. I really, really, to respect people's choices is the essence of virtue and integrity.

[52:38] The Importance of Relationships

[52:38] To respect people's choices. That doesn't mean you admire them, right? Not all choices are admirable, but I respect that people have chosen. If somebody says, well, I'm not going to work very hard because hard work is kind of a drag. And then I'm in my 50s and I need money for treatments and I don't have any money. It's like, but I respect your choice. I respect your choice that you chose leisure over money because making money is hard work.

[53:08] I respect your choices. If you chose to alienate people and you chose not to develop a supportive, helpful, positive social circle, which you can lean on in times of crisis because they can lean on you in times of crisis. If you've chosen not to share your risks with other caring people, but you've lived this selfish life of consume and your own pleasures and your own preferences. Okay. I respect that choice. You've chosen to go it alone. I don't like that choice. I think it's a bad choice, but you've chosen to go it alone. I mean, my mother has chosen to go it alone. I would have moved heaven and earth to help that woman. I did move heaven and earth to help that woman.

[53:50] She's chosen to go it alone. I respect that choice. I respect her choice. If some woman divorces her husband and doesn't save her money and doesn't get insurance and then falls upon hard times. It's like, I respect, but I respect your choices. I'm not going to backfill and disrespect your choices by giving you money. If some guy chooses to gamble his way to wealth rather than work hard, okay? So you can do that. You can do that. Don't recommend it. not my choice i'll work hard i'll get insurance i'll save my money because shit happens, shit happens in life so i'd sit down with my friend and say okay she needs let's say 20 000 bucks excuse my frog so she needs 20 000 bucks what are your options for raising it friends family community support church congregation whatever does she have any how many people, care about her enough to throw some money at her to keep her alive. Okay, well, if there are enough people who care about her enough to throw a little bit of money at her to keep her alive, then she's fine.

[55:08] Ah, but what if nobody cares about her enough to throw a couple of hundred bucks or a thousand bucks at her to keep her alive? Well, then his son is going to have to figure that out. But the idea that the family has no assets. Nope. What they're doing is they don't want to sell their assets to pay for this woman's treatment because they want to lean on you. They want to put pressure on you to pay the bills. Why do you have to pay the bills? Why should you have to pay the bills? Why? Why is it your job to pay the bills? It's not your parent, not your blood, not your family. Right?

[55:57] That's not a thing that you have to do. And covering up other people's bad decisions with your good decisions is punishing your good decisions for the sake of subsidizing people's bad decisions. There's no way on God's green earth that somebody should go into their 50s and not have people around them who are willing to move heaven and earth to keep them alive. Why should you care more about this woman than her own family and friends and community do? Where there's a will there's a way say oh you've got a challenge well it'd be great if you pay just like well no i've got my own family got my own future and i'm making better decisions so this is your challenge and this woman you know ah this is this is a tough topic it's a tough topic, so hopefully um be be relatively kind and not too overreactive as i navigated.

[56:57] But the angry will needs to be humbled in most people myself too the angry will of i can go it alone i can do it all by myself i don't have to be there for other people blah blah blah blah right Okay, so what humbles you, right? This is the, I was in the play King Lear when I was younger. It's a great play, powerful play, about the humbling of the angry will. He goes from a tyrant to I'm a very fond, foolish old man.

[57:23] The Humbling of Selfishness

[57:23] He is humbled. To be humbled, to have the angry animal will be humbled is really, really important. So if this woman has got to the point in her life, she's in her 50s, and she doesn't have people around her who are willing to chip in 500 bucks to keep her alive, that's a wake-up call and you don't want to smother to death that wake-up call with a pillow full of money mix my analogies absurdly, it's a wake-up call why don't I have people in my life who are willing to throw in a couple of hundred bucks or a thousand bucks to keep me alive, what have I done wrong in my life that nobody wants to keep me above ground.

[57:59] That's a wake-up call. That's a come to Jesus, change your life. Crush your narcissistic, angry animal will. Don't interfere with the light coming through the clouds of selfishness that's supposed to illuminate a better path forward. You're paying for her to stay blind, selfish, and broke. Don't do it. Give her that sunbeam through the clouds that gives her a better path forward. Maybe I've been selfish. Maybe I've been intolerant. Maybe I've alienated people. Maybe I haven't been generous. Maybe I was stupid with my money. Maybe I didn't get insurance. I know I didn't get insurance. Like maybe, just maybe, this is a wake-up call.

[58:40] The Call for Self-Reflection

[58:40] Ah, but her life could be at risk. It's like, yes, that's a very big wake-up call. That's a very big wake-up call. Don't you dare interfere with that wake-up call. Don't you dare interfere with the suffering of selfishness because that precludes or eliminates the possibility of love and growth.

[59:07] And put yourself in this mindset, put yourself imagine you're 55, you get sick and even though you've had over half a century to build relationships. Nobody gives a shit about you enough to keep you alive. And let's say that rather than try and fix your relationships, rather than try and humble your angry will and make amends where amends are possible, rather than do any of that, you sit down with your son and you say, hey, kid, man, you got any friends who can pay my bills? You got any friends that we can lean on to pay my bills? That'd be great. Oh, that's gross. Ugh, yuck. I'd rather die, frankly, than lean on my daughter's friends to pay my bills. Eee! Ugh, that's like a spine revulsion to me.

[1:00:13] She's got no assets she can borrow against. She can't take out a second mortgage. She's accumulated nothing. None of her friends or family have accumulated anything. Nobody can provide anything. No, they're just leaning on you to pay the bills that they, by blood and friendship, are responsible for and that she's responsible for through bad decisions. Save your money, get insurance. You never know what the fuck's going to happen in life, man. Save your money and get insurance. And if people don't do that, that is a wake-up call. And it's fine. If you don't want to get insurance and you don't want to save your money, I talk about this in my book, The Art of the Argument, right? If you don't want to save your money, that's fine. You don't have to save your money. You don't want to buy insurance, that's fine. You don't have to buy insurance, but then you've got to have people around you who really, really care about you, right? You think of the old woman. I talk about this in my book. The old woman, she's never really saved her money. She's never really bought insurance, but she's been incredibly kind, generous, and helpful to everyone in her neighborhood, right? The kids are always welcome for ice cream. She bakes food and pies and lasagnas. She brings them over to people who are unwell. When people are away, she gets her exercise by shoveling their driveway so that the house has looked lived in. She's just really kind, helpful, and generous. She's got no savings because she spends all her money on ice cream for the kids and ingredients for people who are sick.

[1:01:37] She'll go pick up people's mail when they're on vacation. She'll just have a very helpful, wonderful, kind, generous, good-spirited center of the neighborhood, bring a together of souls, beautiful. But then when she gets sick, everyone cares about her to the point where they'll pay her bills. She's invested in people, not money. Fine. No problem with that. But if you invest neither in people nor in money, don't fall like a vampire on your kids' friends to pay your bills. Humble yourself apologize make restitution make amends and then you can look back on getting cancer and say rather than well I successfully manipulated money out of my kid's friend you can say by god that was a wake up call about how selfish, I was being I am incredibly grateful to that cancer for waking me up, and putting me on a better path, but don't Don't you do it, man. Don't you do it. You can help your friend figure out how to get things paid. And that's a fine exercise, right?

[1:02:53] Because what matters in life is not stuff but relationships. All right. Stef, in the recent politics video, you compared childbearing in the 50s, multiple children versus today, but seem to overlook current laws versus back then. Yes, it is certainly true that when I'm talking about a topic, I can't and don't talk about every possible aspect involved. Yeah. So you have a particular thing, which is the current laws versus back then. I don't happen to mention that. And you view that as a deficiency.

[1:03:38] I can't possibly talk. Let's say I'm talking about fiat currency. Well, you didn't talk about the Babylonian Empire. It's like, yes, because you can't talk about everything. Well, when you did the French Revolution, you didn't mention this town and what happened there. Yes, because you can't do everything. Can't do everything. It's impossible. I certainly have talked about the laws, divorce laws. And I mean, I had Karen Straughan of Honey Badger on the show years ago, Honey Badger Radio, great people to follow and all of that. So can't do everything. I mean, I've done it at times, but I'm a personally, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with what you're doing, but personally, I find it kind of annoying when I've covered a bunch of topics, but I haven't covered all of those topics in one speech. Yes, I can't talk about everything all the time. It's impossible. So you can go and do a search for the interviews that I've done on family laws, family, I've done entire speeches at men's rights conference about all of this kind of stuff. And I wrote an entire novel called The Present, which deals with men's issues and the problems with courts and so on. But yes, it's true. You caught me. I can't talk about everything related to any topic in one particular speech. I have to be selective.

[1:04:58] I mean, it's like complaining, you know, the backstory of this orc, Mr. Tolkien was Dr. Tolkien was just not enough, right? All right. If you don't have pretty privilege, you can be a model for target stops.

[1:05:08] The Challenge of Mental Health

[1:05:08] Pretty funny. All right. Hey, Stef, I just donated on the Freedomain website and asked a question there about my constant tendency to dissociate and any input you may have on the subject. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I will get to that.

[1:05:26] Psychology textbooks called homosexuality mental illness in the 70s and 80s until it became a political hot button issue wonder why they changed it oh because gays tend to vote left right and there's a left march they did their long march through the institution so all right, women at work probably find me more funny and charming than they would otherwise because i'm young and handsome i've experienced what i perceive as jealous hostility from older shorter average looking male co-workers and people in general yes uh thank you eric another thing beauty does is making women the recipient of mental health support aka i can fix her no you can't but that's not mental health support wanting to bang a woman into sanity is you just following her down into the pit of madness she grabs your dick and yanks you down and down you go, somebody says i've had people in my life who wanted to see me fail encouraged me to have a certain look that was actually unattractive. I was fortunate that I had good people tell me otherwise. Yeah, for sure. I thought hair loss in men mostly comes from the maternal grandfather, so why should it matter if a man is bald in terms of the children? Yeah, could be right. Could be right. All right. Yapping and yappers are my new favorite terms. Yes, absolutely.

[1:06:49] Multiple sclerosis is a really bad illness. It takes 20 to 30 years to kill someone, so they often max out on their insurance. Mm-hmm. Yes. That's when you apply to charity, right? So there are lots of charities that are set up to help people with medical bills. So this is another issue. Thank you for bringing this up. This is another issue that this young man can deal with. I think it's a young man. With regards to his friend's mother, she can go to charity. Go to charity. So make an application for charity and say, I'm broke. I need this, right? If I were in the guy's shoes, they'd be running shoes. Yeah, crowdfunding sites. You can do that for sure. Crowdfunding is a little tricky if nobody knows you. Somebody says, looking up insurance was one of the first things I researched as it crossed my mind when I defood, that I didn't want my brother also defood, to struggle or worse, be tempted to resume contact if something happened to me. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Don't be a burden to your children, which means get insurance and save your money many seniors have no support system isolated and lonely no family left, what do you mean no family left all their kids died all their nephews nieces cousins died maybe they're 90 and their siblings are dead and their parents of course are dead what do you mean no family left what do you mean no family left.

[1:08:17] Where are their children? Where are their friends of many years? Knowing that they're aging out, are they making younger friends? And providing, are they, you know, let's say somebody's 80 or 90, have they made a friend who's 50 or 60 where they can give that person advice and in return maybe get some support when they're older? You know, bind people to you with generosity, kindness, and wisdom and knowledge transfer. How do you know the woman was mean, petty, and selfish? Because she's surrounded by, she's been alive for 50 plus years, and she doesn't have people in her life who are willing to chip in a couple of hundred bucks or a thousand bucks to keep her alive. Why not? They say, they all say healthcare is a human right. Why is someone's other work a human right? Oh, just make it right so you don't have to earn things, right? And if you think you have a right to things, then you won't take insurance, right?

[1:09:12] That's something I outright refuse to do. I'm not subsidizing other people's bad decisions, especially when they've shit on me for pointing it out, when they shit on me. So yeah, so you sit down with this woman, right? Maybe if you sit down with the friend's mom and you say, how is it that you ended up in this situation? How do you have no savings? How do you have no assets? How do you have no one in your life who cares about you enough to throw a couple of hundred bucks in to keep you alive? How is that possible? Now, if she gets really angry and abusive and, well, everybody just abandoned me and everybody around me is just an asshole. It's like that she just becomes like really mean and vicious and nasty. Well, then she says, no, there's nothing that can tame her angry will. What does that mean? She deserves to die. It deserves. It's just one of these words that toddlers use. I don't want to help people. I don't want to give $20,000 or $10,000 to someone who abuses me for asking how they got into this situation. Now, if she humbly says, you know what, I made some absolutely terrible mistakes. I was vain. I was selfish. I was mean. But here's the people I've called up to. Here's the people I've apologized to. Here's the people I've made it right with and so on. Okay, that's the beginning of an interesting conversation, because then they should help you, right? Because you've made, you've mended the fences, right?

[1:10:33] Because mostly women don't care about, mostly men haven't do work for getting them the things they need to keep their children alive. Yeah, and it's why we're all here, right? I just got here, but every time someone talks about lonely elderly women, they say stuff like, all her kids abandoned her, they left her to rot, et cetera. Never a question of what the old lady did. Yeah. Yeah. Very true. Very true. Very true. And there's times, there's times when it's too late, right? This is why you don't wait until it's too late. I mean, you can if you want, but your risks go up considerably, right? So the challenge that this mom, the sick mom is facing is, let's say she goes to her family and says, you know gee i'm really sorry for all the mean things or the bad things or the problems or whatever and i need a thousand bucks then they're going to say no you're just you're just yapping because you need a thousand bucks you're not really sorry if you were really sorry you would have come up with this before you needed a thousand bucks like there are times when it's too late, it's all too late yeah uh and um i mean just don't make it too late right.

[1:11:47] This is a brutally important lesson. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Just, you know, I have friends, I won't get into any details, of course. I have friends who have aging parents, and it's been brutal for a long time. And they're absolutely, completely, and totally devoted to making their aging parents' life as comfortable as possible, because their parents were great parents. You know, people are generally fair. People are generally just as a whole, right? all right.

[1:12:23] Late here, but love you, Stef. Thank you, freedoman.com slash donate to help out the show. Gratefully, deeply and humbly appreciated. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is Christmas. Stef, I decided to check out YouTube videos on stuff like daycare impacts on children, and I noticed in almost all of them, they have to constantly mention that they don't want to shame anyone and constantly reassure the viewer that they're not judging. Yeah, pretty annoying. Yeah so women self attack, and for women and against this general statement exceptions of course right so women self attack now men we are not trained and conditioned with praise generally only with scorn, okay let me ask you this right let me ask you this this is for the men just the men alone right just the men alone.

[1:13:19] The Nature of Praise in Society

[1:13:20] How many times have you been genuinely praised by someone outside of your family? Like, you did a fantastic job. I'm proud to know you. I really admire this. Really great looking. You look fantastic. How many times have you, as a man, been praised by someone who ain't your mom? Genuinely, deeply praised by someone who ain't your mom. and it's not some public thing like people say Stef great job and you know good speech but I'm talking about like in your life and the people you see in the real world right, I mean I was a really good looking young man I was called handsome maybe once or twice.

[1:14:08] Phrase like that is rare, a couple of times, four to five times, maybe ten times. I've worked my whole life by a handful of people, less than five. Right. So we, as men, we have to learn to become our own motive engines. Like, you've got to just push on, right? I keep pushing on with the show. I kept pushing on with my writing. I kept pushing on in academia. You just, you accept that. You're going to get almost no praise. You're going to get a lot of scorn and criticism, and you just have to find a mode of power to push on. As a man, there's simply no way to thrive without developing an exoskeleton, right? Like you have to stop relying. I know your wife loves you. My wife loves me, and it's full of praise as I'm full of praise with her, but I'm talking like in general in life, and that's later on in life I got that. But throughout the first really third or half of my life, certainly the first half of my adult life, I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. So let's see here. Maybe a dozen by a handful of people, less than five. I get praise about my work from customers twice this year. Oh, good for you. A handful of times, three times, once at work, another in a men's group I'm part of and from my therapist recently. Often, but a lot of my work is face-to-face customer service. Okay. But that's a bit more professional. Someone complimented by knowledge of Bitcoin.

[1:15:35] Okay. Let me ask you this then. How How many people in your life have praised either your morals or your looks? I'm not equating the two, right? Take it out of the, anyone you're paying, anyone part of the work situation, blah, blah, blah, right? How many people in your personal life have praised your morals or your looks? How many people, like, try being bald on the internet. I mean, you're bald, man. It's pretty sad, right? How many people in your life as a man have praised your virtue or your looks? Once, one to three times my whole life, four people, four times, sorry. How many people, how many times? I'm so sorry. I was unclear about that. Let's, because people could be four every day, right? How many times have you been praised for your morals and your looks in your personal life and i'm going to say outside of your marriage mostly strangers maybe two to four people that doesn't tell me how many times though so it's very rare i mean women sometimes will complain i think it's a humble brag oh people are just constantly telling me how pretty i am and blah blah blah right.

[1:16:52] A couple of girls have praised my looks men have praised my virtue a few times someone told me i look like i did the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym i don't know quite what that means looks maybe four moral zero i would say 10 times right so it's incredibly rare women get the amount of positive feedback that would overwhelm a man and short circus his entire existence like women especially online women, over the course of one day, a reasonably attractive online woman gets more praise in a day than most men would get in 10 lifetimes. And I shit you not, I'm not kidding about this.

[1:17:28] Men and the Lack of Positive Feedback

[1:17:29] In one day, a reasonably attractive woman online gets more praise and positive feedback than most men will experience in 10 lifetimes.

[1:17:42] So, men, we become used to becoming our own mode of power. We become used to being our own fuel, our own engine, and so on, right? We have to, because we just don't get praise. We don't get, I mean, we get insults, right? From the, right, we get insults as a whole. I mean, if you watch teenage boys, you know, playing, I don't know, some sport or whatever, like, you suck, right? You suck, right? That there's like, what are you doing, right? And that they be pretty harsh with each other. That's just a fact, right? And and and yet they won't say wow that was a beautifully laid up shot thank you like they just they don't do that right i feel that watching a woman's youtube channel as a man can be exhausting yeah i remember the first time i interviewed lauren southern just seeing the thirst comments underneath right are you saying a woman who is a six gets more praise than a man who is a nine or a 10. Yeah. I mean, don't you remember this in school? How many times, how many times as a boy were you praised for being a boy? Wow, that was really strong. Wow, you really stood up for that person. Wow, I really appreciate your assertiveness. Wow, you did a great job. Wow, right? As a boy, girls get praised for being girls all the time, all the time. Oh, that was so thoughtful. Oh, that was so sweet. Oh, that was so kind. Oh, you're sitting so nicely. Girls get praised as girls all the time boys get shit on for being boys all the time that's the whole adhd racket.

[1:19:12] Somebody says i used to get told i was pretty multiple times a day honestly it gets pretty creepy yeah for sure for sure, how many times were you praised in school for being a boy.

[1:19:33] Um, none. I don't remember ever being praised for being a boy. And how many times were you criticized for being a boy? Oh, that's so loud. Oh, that's so noisy. Why can't you sit still? Why can't you concentrate? Look at Sally. She's sitting so nicely. Why can't you do the same? Why are you always running through the halls? Why are you tearing around the place? Why do you keep taking the magic markers and making swords? Why do you not? Why don't you listen. This constant impatience that boys are not girls is a flood of destructive language pulled right into the spines of boys. Why did you push that kid? Why don't you line up nicely? Why don't you come when I call you? Everyone else, all the girls are in. Why are you guys still running around? Why don't you do your homework? Why don't you listen? They show up prepared. You're not prepared because I don't care. It's bullshit. It's girl stuff. All the stuff in school is girl stuff.

[1:20:53] Why do we care about praise from other people? because we're social animals, because we're social animals. So shitting on boys and praising girls is a great way to take over a country, right? You take over a country by demoralizing the males, right? So the way you demoralize the males is you praise femininity, you castigate masculinity, and then you also try to convince as much as you can for the girls to become masculine. And when the girls become more masculine, the boys tend to become more feminine, and you lose the defense of people coming into the country.

[1:21:24] The Impact of Gender Dynamics

[1:21:24] It's a fifth generation I mean a sixth generation warfare I guess right, it's an attack upon testosterone, oh

[1:21:46] No, it's brutal. So the question is that women have had their egos and vanities so inflated that they can't handle criticism, right? And this is another way to destroy the birth rate is you praise women to the point where they can't handle criticism and then they can't take any feedback from the men that they've been told to despise and therefore the men don't want to deal with them and the birth rate collapses, right? There's no end to a woman's capacity to absorb praise. Like there's no end to many men's capacity to absorb status. There's no cutoff. There's no short circuit to a woman's capacity.

[1:22:23] The Consequences of Praise and Criticism

[1:22:24] So if you tell women that they're constantly great, constantly perfect, the boys are mean, boys are loud, boys are bad, boys don't listen, and you praise women, then you inflate women's vanity to the point where they won't take any objective feedback from the males in their lives, and therefore the birth rate collapses because men don't want to date women that they can't give feedback to.

[1:22:48] Right oh men are so emotionally unavailable so how about the women are they, right and then you invent this are they available for feedback and women take feedback and women take correction or criticism and then you invent this term called mansplaining which is another way of saying don't you dare give women feedback don't you dare know more than women okay well nobody wants to deal with someone who's not going to take feedback would you would you want to coach someone who wouldn't take feedback would you want to be in a business partnership with someone who never took any feedback and no of course not so you provoke vanity and you kill the birth rate.

[1:23:24] I get chastised on Twitter, says someone of Blue Sky, for sexualizing or objectifying good-looking women. Isn't that part of being a woman, attracting men? No, no, but that's just unattractive women punishing you for finding attractive women attractive, so that maybe you'll look at them more, right? I just remember one female teacher, looked around 35 or 40, pulled me over and told me I'm special, and tried to tell me she really sees something in me and that I don't apply myself, but I'm intelligent. She wanted me to stop hanging out with the other bully slash jerk dudes in the class, right? The lack of being able to accept feedback is a major problem. Yeah. I mean, remember that famous tweet of mine about Taylor Swift, 90% of women's eggs are dead by the time they're 30. That's a fact. It's a fact. That this was pointing out that, you probably want to make different decisions knowing your shortage of fertility, right? Woman says i find it incredibly hard to take criticism it's so bloody painful yes and and that's because you don't get exposed to much criticism when you're a kid as a female or as a teenager or at all right you don't get exposed to much critical feedback whereas men we get exposed to it all the time it's another reason why men earn more money is we take feedback women don't take feedback a lot of times and therefore they're going to make less money.

[1:24:52] And then the only feedback someone says, and then the only feedback they'll accept is from other females who unconsciously sabotage the younger females so they feel better about their own mistakes. It's a wild thing, really unfortunate. Yeah, for sure. Is that a reason love bombing works? Well, men certainly can be very susceptible to love bombing and any kind of positive feedback, right? Which is why people in the military get so praised. So that men who are so desperate for praise, which I understand, end up having to go to the military getting any kind of positive feedback. It's a great way to make sure that your soldiers will be soldiers. Okay, so sorry, there was somebody who had a question, freedomhand.com slash an eight. If you'd like to get a cue in before the end, I would appreciate, I really appreciate the support. And let me get to the person with their question.

[1:25:41] Hi, Stef. Merry Christmas. I've got a question for you. I would greatly appreciate any input you have. I have a very strong tendency to dissociate all the time. I have since a very young age. My therapist and I have been working on this with some success. I can understand the origins of it, which is the massive amount of abuse and trauma I've experienced in life, from sexual abuse, neglect, verbal abuse, bullying, and occasional physical abuse. Well, sexual abuse is physical abuse, but that's neither here nor there. At times, I think it's also a lingering side effect of a decade of drug abuse. The dissociate shows, this dissociate, I think you mean this disassociation shows up in my life, like a constant fog or haze. I don't often fear my emotions, and I can hardly hear my thoughts. It gets bad enough at times I don't feel alive and nothing seems real.

[1:26:28] Depersonalization? Anyway, what has helped alleviate dissociation the most is working on my career, studying, working on my virtues and other forms of self-improvement, like exercising alongside volunteer work, not associating with trashy people. There's also a massive one and is likely to be the source. Someday in 2025, I'm having a conversation with my family of origin about the abuse I faced, which will likely end with me removing family members from my life. I'm curious if you have any input on this thank you Stef so are you saying i guess you are saying and i'm first of all i'm really really sorry for the suffering that you went through as a child the, evil horrifying brutal abuse that you suffered i i'm incredibly sorry for for all of that and um.

[1:27:12] It's wretched what was done to you so um so you're you're the family of origin who sexually abused verbally abused, bullied, physical abuse, and neglect. So your evil family of origin is still in your life.

[1:27:40] I'm not sure why you would have people who did that to children, did that to a helpless and dependent child. I mean, that's like you have a kid and you hire a babysitter who sexually abuses your child and then you just hire them back. Why would your child, you wouldn't have that sexual, like you wouldn't have that sexual predator back and have power over your children, would you? It would be crazy. And again, I understand why, right?

[1:28:02] The Importance of Honesty in Relationships

[1:28:03] It's what you're used to and all of that, but I'm not sure why you would have unrepentant sexual abusers, verbal abusers, bullies, and physical abusers. Why would you have them in your life? So, dissociation is forced dishonesty to evildoers. Dissociation is all of your authentic feelings are dangerous to evildoers. And therefore, you have to distance yourself from your authentic feelings and experiences and honesty and directness because you will be attacked and punished for being honest and direct and possibly killed. And it's not just within the family, but if you're being sexually abused and you tell someone outside the family, the sexual abuser could very easily go to jail where they could very easily be killed. So you are not allowed to be honest and direct with people. And if you have such a rampant criminal as a pedophile or sexual abuser in your family.

[1:29:09] Then a lot of times people will kill rather than die. So if you're honest and direct with people in your life about what you're experiencing, particularly with regards to sexual abuse, the likelihood of being disabled or killed is not zero. It's certainly not zero at all. And so you operated under a virtual set of death threats for honesty. If you're honest, you could be killed. And it sounds like hyperbole, it's not, not at all. It's not at all. I mean, just think of the mafia, right? If you're going to testify against the mafia, you're probably not going to have a great day if they can find you, right? So if you're going to testify against evildoers who may face a de facto death penalty, if they go to jail, you know, pedophiles don't do very well in jail. So you operate as a kid under a de facto death threat for honesty. And so to be honest and to be direct and to connect with people is to die. And of course, your body wants to stay alive so it can reproduce. So it detaches you from your feelings because honesty and directness in your relationships.

[1:30:21] Could get you killed. He says, the sexual abuse wasn't from my family of origin. That was from my mom's friend's son, to add some context. Okay, so I appreciate that clarity. Obviously, it doesn't particularly matter with regards to your subjective experience or your direct experience. But it means that your mother was friends with a woman who raised a child-roping kid. So how does your mom do if that comes out? What happens to your mom's reputation? What happens to your mom's standing in the community? What happens to your mom as a whole if it comes out that she is friends with a woman who raised a sexually abusing child?

[1:31:18] And And would you not also face similar dangers? Let's say that your mom's friend's son, let's say that your mom's friend's son found out that you were talking to the teachers or the cops. What would he do? You would still face significant danger, if not wounding or death, right? He would certainly threaten you, and he might, in fact, arrange for some kind of accident to happen to you, right? Whether it would be cutting the brake line on your bike or something, right? Saying hey let's let's go uh let's go rock climbing right whoops right i mean anything that would be credible right people who sexually abuse children um will do almost anything rather than have that come out so i it's you still face the same danger for directness and honesty, and of course it was your mother's job to protect you from predation and she not only failed to protect you from predation, she brought a predator into your environment. But a call-in show might be helpful. If you'd like to do it, you can do it private or public. Remember, I'm doing private call-in shows now. So if you go to freedoman.com slash call.

[1:32:34] Conclusion and Call to Action

[1:32:34] Then you can choose the private option and we can talk privately and it never goes anywhere. And you can go into as much detail as you want. And I can be more direct about what I think you might be able to do. So if you want to do that, private calls are more than welcome. You can also do it as a public call, but just stay off names and places, and the responses will be more generic.

[1:32:56] So, all right. Well, thanks, everyone, so much for your time, care, thoughts, and attention. Thanks. You donated at the FDR site, freedemand.com slash donate. I really, really do appreciate that. That is very kind. I thank you so much, everyone, for keeping the show alive and keeping this conversation going. I absolutely love my time with you guys. These questions and comments are fantastic, and I really do appreciate that. I really do. Appreciate that. And freedomand.com slash donate to help out the show. Yeah, it's not super great to talk about it over text because, I mean, I have to make a lot of assumptions and I can't sort of sit there and stare at the screen until you respond. It's nothing to do with you. It's just the nature of the technology, of course. But I really do appreciate everyone's time, care, thoughts, and attention today. I made a mistake. God help me. I made a mistake. I said that you could get the sadism shows, which were previously donor only. They've gone out to the mainstream, so I will find something else juicy to provide for those who donate from now till the end of the year. I would really appreciate that. Freedemand.com slash donate. Have yourselves a glorious, wonderful, toasty, and lovely afternoon. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas to everyone. Do we talk before then?

[1:34:08] Where the heck is my calendar? I don't know that we do. So yeah, very, very Merry Christmas. Lots of love from here. Take care. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

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