0:05 - The Beginning of Pain
1:31 - Confronting Childhood Trauma
10:35 - The Cycle of Abuse
13:17 - Anger and Retaliation
15:55 - The Divorce Announcement
30:34 - Custody Arrangements
34:11 - Defining Loss and Betrayal
1:03:15 - The Role of Pornography
1:06:21 - Relationships and Loneliness
1:07:28 - The Unexpected Arrival
1:10:08 - Reflections on High School Relationships
1:14:23 - Life Beyond High School
1:16:50 - The Reality of Dating
1:22:25 - Companionship and Beyond
1:28:49 - The Search for Leadership
1:41:40 - Rescuing from Propaganda
1:58:00 - The Influence of Childhood
2:08:09 - A Path Forward
2:15:08 - Closing Thoughts and Future Aspirations
In this episode, I engage in a profound conversation with a caller who shares his experiences growing up in a turbulent household with abusive parents. The caller, at 26, reflects on his troubled childhood marked by significant emotional neglect and physical punishment. He describes the chaotic environment he navigated, facing both the loud temperaments of his mother and his father's sporadic parenting. As he recounts the consistent beatings he received, particularly from his mother using a paddle she humorously termed the "ass buster 3000," it becomes clear that this formative distress has left lasting scars on his psyche and interpersonal relationships.
We delve deeper into the roots of his upbringing, exploring how this dysfunction has manifested in his adult life, particularly in terms of crippling social anxiety and struggles with intimacy. The caller acknowledges a pronounced porn addiction that has exacerbated his capacity for forming meaningful connections. Through our dialogue, I guide him to challenge the narratives he has held onto regarding his identity and relationships. We discuss the importance of addressing and reframing the language he uses to define his past, emphasizing that negative self-perceptions can be dismantled through conscious reflection.
As the conversation unfolds, we sift through complex emotions of anger and betrayal surrounding his family dynamics and the subsequent impact it has had on his self-view and social interactions. By reflecting on his experiences, he begins to confront the notion that not all women should be viewed through the lens of his mother’s abuse. Instead, I urge him to see potential partners as individuals capable of mutual understanding and respect, shedding light on how societal narratives have shaped his perception of relationships.
Throughout our exploration, he begins realizing that effective communication and leadership are essential in navigating romantic encounters. He considers the balance of power within relationships, acknowledging his desire for a partner who is not only nurturing but also capable of submitting to shared responsibilities and authority that allow both partners to flourish.
This discussion ultimately steers him toward understanding the need for a nuanced outlook on relationships, recognizing that women can be more than the stereotypes he has encountered. As he prepares to venture forward with this new mindset, he expresses hope for a healthier future, suggesting a desire not just to escape isolation but to foster genuine connections. I invite him to reflect on these insights and share his growth over time, emphasizing that facing the truth of his experiences will be a pivotal step toward redefining his future.
The episode concludes with a sense of optimism, as the caller leaves with a willingness to explore these challenging themes further and apply what he's learned to his interactions moving forward.
[0:00] Hello, Stefan. My name is Blank. I'm 26 years old and the fourth of five children born to two abusive parents.
[0:06] I moved out over a year ago, and since then I've been living on my own and listening to your show. Over the past year, I've been processing and grieving my childhood. Your show has been incredibly helpful in identifying the true extent of the abuse I endured, understanding how to apply philosophy to my life, and learning how to be a peaceful parent. The impact it has had on my life is immeasurable. Right now, I find myself doing little outside of going to work. On weekends, I rarely leave my house except to run errands, play basketball at the park, or occasionally hang out in person with my Xbox friends. My biggest struggle at the moment is a porn addiction. Most weekends, I give into the urge, which completely drains my energy, leaving the next few days as a write-off. This has been a major contributor to my social anxiety and inhibition when talking to women. It has defined my entire adult life.
[0:49] I've mostly defood, but I haven't fully confronted either of my parents. I feel like I've extracted as much knowledge, wisdom, and insight as I can from my childhood, yet I still think about it every day, and I'm sick of it. A real sense of mortality is setting in. I'm 26, single, and have few good memories to look back on. I do not want to turn 27 and still be in the same place. Life has been passing me by, and I know there's so much more out there. I hope that by talking to you, I can identify the root of my dysfunction and learn to move forward in my life with confidence. I thirst for feedback, guidance, and an ally to help dislodge me from this perpetual cycle of self-destruction. And I'll throw a moral clarity in there as well. And, uh, to help me remove any doubt from my decision to defu.
[1:32] Thank you for your time and consideration. Best regards.
[1:35] Okay. I appreciate that. I mean, obviously amazingly deeply sorry to hear about your childhood. So what, uh, what was going on there?
[1:45] Well, um, I guess I'll start, uh, I mean, I'll start in the beginning. Well, my father worked a lot. I didn't see him very much in my early childhood. My mother was a stay-at-home mom. And, uh... And things were okay really up until about second grade, not to skip all the way to second grade, but I mean, I wasn't really aware of how bad things really were. I mean, things took a pretty bad turn around second or third grade, but I'll get to that. But yeah, it didn't seem very bad when I was a little kid. I mean, I went to preschool. I enjoyed it. I'd come home and my mom would make lunch and I'd usually play with the neighborhood kids. Not a whole bunch of neighborhood kids, but the kids who live behind us or maybe my siblings if they were home at the same time. And um my mother didn't really interact with me much she would just sit in front of the tv and watch uh watch her shows and uh yeah as far as uh abuse goes i mean my mother was a yeller and a screamer and she spanked very often my dad spanked too he yelled too but i mean he sorry.
[2:56] What do you mean because spanking is a wide variety of behaviors so.
[3:00] What specifically.
[3:02] Do you mean by spanking.
[3:03] Like um if we were being too rowdy or not meeting her uh her expectations of behavior like we weren't stopping doing whatever uh she would be very quick to, she'd be very quick to spank and spanking for us meant uh you know hold still she'd yell at us to hold still and bend over and in our family we spanked with a paddle the paddle was about a foot long and a half inch thick and my dad made it out in the garage and our in our family like it was a big joke because he like he painted it and decorated it and called it like the ass buster 3000 or something and uh on the other side were tally marks under our names for each time we got spanked and uh yeah my mother sorry i mean.
[3:51] How long have you been listening to what i did.
[3:54] Oh brother a little over a year since november 2023 yeah.
[3:58] I appreciate that and And I guess I'm just curious why you would refer to being beaten by an implement as spanking. Spanking is usually in its hand, sometimes on clothes, sometimes on bare skin. But brother, brother, that's a beating.
[4:17] Sorry, I lost you for a second. I'm sorry.
[4:18] Yeah, that's a beating.
[4:22] Yeah.
[4:24] So that's why I was asking what you meant by spanking.
[4:30] Yeah you're right yeah it was a beating it was a beating with uh with a paddle on the behind and uh my mother she she would go very hard uh was.
[4:44] It clothes on or clothes off.
[4:46] Clothes on most of the time but there were there are at least two or three distinct times i can remember where it was it was bare bottom.
[4:54] Sorry, you were saying something about your mother. My apologies.
[4:57] No, I'm sorry. You cut out for a second and I was trying to find where we were. But my mother, she would spank very hard and she was very quick to spank. And it was terrifying.
[5:11] So sorry, I apologize for interrupting.
[5:14] Beating, beating, beating.
[5:15] But it's kind of funny how you're back on the train track of spanking. But that's fine. I mean, I understand it's tough to talk about. So your mother was like a hard beater, right?
[5:24] Yeah. Yeah. Very quick to, to do that. And she, it's like, she, she didn't like peace in the house either. Like she would find things to, to get angry about, and then she would be on the war path. And then I would have to like hide basically and keep an ear open for half the day or for, you know, however long she was on the war path, looking for people to, uh, to punish or to yell at. And uh yeah it it really hurt when she would beat us on the behind when she'd beat me on the behind with the paddle and my father did the same thing too he he would he he would beat us on the on the behind with the paddle too but he he didn't do it he didn't do it as hard i would actually hope oh my gosh i hope my father is the one using the paddle because he wouldn't go as hard but it would still hurt but both my father it may.
[6:13] Have been more like punishment although wrong but for your mother it sounds almost sadistic.
[6:18] Yeah yeah i think she she did get a lot of uh sadistic pleasure it seemed i mean you could like you could see it on her face like she has just a little bit of a grin behind her face when she's, When she's got you cornered and she's threatening punishment, she's threatening to take away my, uh, my game, my PlayStation are telling me I won't be able to go to a friend's house or whatever. I'll have to go to my room. And, uh, you know, if you keep this up, you're going to get spanked. You know, you're getting, you're getting the paddle, you know?
[6:50] I mean, and it's a funny thing, just sort of, there's two points I want to make here really briefly. One is that it's a strange thing in language that beat your meat refers to masturbation, but also being beaten, like you're beating the meat of your children's behinds. But also, when women are more cruel than men, often it has to do with no sex life.
[7:13] Yeah the the sex life between my parents was non-existent um both of them were overweight well into their marriage i was born 12 years after they got married i mean they were both overweight for over a decade at that point and um neither of them were were physically attractive and my father had bad personal hygiene and uh was he was kind of inadequate you know and uh my mother would make jokes about it like like alluding to it uh on occasion sorry jokes about what is his sexual inadequacy so right okay so so he had a very bad sex life so.
[7:56] You grew up with underfucked addicts food addicts right.
[8:01] Yeah yeah food my mother loved her little debbie snacks, she would hide them away in the cabinet we were not allowed to have them we weren't allowed to have them first of all and then we would have to ask to make a sandwich or make any kind of food in the house in general but she had all the little Debbie snacks that she desired and both of my parents were really bad about drinking soda all the time there was never a shortage of soda in our house.
[8:29] Okay. Wow. That's, uh, so, so you had to ask for permission to make food from the obese people.
[8:38] Yeah. Yeah. My father wasn't as bad about it. Like my father, uh, my, like I'd go to my dad about it and ask him if I can make a sandwich and he would be like, I, he, he would be kind of surprised. Like, I can't believe you're asking me to, to make food, like go ahead and make food. And like him and my mother would get into arguments about it from time to time. But yeah, I'd have to ask her permission to make a sandwich while she's sitting there gorging herself with ho-hos.
[9:07] Right. What was your mother's rationale for you needing permission to make food?
[9:14] There was no rationale. It wasn't really explained. It was just because I say so. She was always on that type of thing, because I say so, because I'm your mother. Don't argue with me. type of thing.
[9:25] Right. Okay. Now, did you yourself suffer any obesity issues? Because at least according to some of the research that I've done, children born to obese parents can have obesity issues themselves. Did you escape that challenge?
[9:39] No, I never had an issue with obesity or body fat or being overweight ever. My little sister has always been heavy and obese. She's the only one out of us that has a weight problem and it's it's really it's really tragic and.
[9:53] Of the five siblings what's the sex distribution.
[9:58] Uh girl girl boy boy girl i'm the fourth out of five okay got.
[10:02] It got it all right, okay so how did your uh sorry how often were you beaten with what the ass buster 3000 i mean that's a pretty dark humor man uh so.
[10:16] Yeah yeah.
[10:16] How often would these uh beatings uh on average occur.
[10:24] Um gosh it was it was a it was a constant threat i was under constant threat of it every day but i think i would say if i had to guess i'd say probably at least once a week once i can't remember exactly though and.
[10:36] From what age to what age and of course it may have started before you remember i mean a significant portion of people beat babies it's just wild but what age to what age do you recall the beatings occurring.
[10:49] Um from as early as i can remember all the way up until uh i started to hit puberty around uh age 12 so.
[10:57] Uh so 10 years so weekly that's 520 beatings.
[11:06] Yeah i mean it it wasn't as often as i started to get older around 10 or 11 but it was yeah but That might have been more often when you were younger.
[11:13] Right?
[11:14] Yeah. Yeah. That's.
[11:18] 520 beatings. Man that is a hell of an imprint on the body brother i'm so sorry i'm so sorry god it's just it's beyond heartbreaking it's uh it's enraging actually.
[11:30] Yeah yeah i i thought back about it over the course of the last year and i mean about other things as well and i just i just oh my oh my god dude like i could i could never imagine doing that to like i i genuinely cannot comprehend the idea of doing that to my own child. Even if they did something that really enraged me, like I really, I couldn't even imagine. Or like if I saw somebody doing that at the grocery store, I would have to be held back. Like I'd want to get physical with this person. Like, oh my God, dude.
[12:04] Yeah. I mean, oddly enough, the image that came to my mind, I don't know if you've seen it online. It's, there was a guy who ended up trapped face down in a narrow opening in a cave. And there's sort of an image of him, like, here's the position, and he couldn't get out. Like, he was crawling down a narrow tube in a cave and got stuck and couldn't back out and so on, right? And I think he died or something like that. And, you know, that's a pretty ugly way to go. And to me, honestly, I mean, the people who beat toddlers, if they come to some kind of gruesome end like that i'm like i hope it hurt.
[12:47] Yeah yeah you know and i was over the course of thinking about it over the last year like i got so i got really angry at one point like i fantasized about like putting on a fat suit and putting on like i'm not trying to be funny here but like i legit thought you know what i'm gonna give her i'm gonna i'm going to give her what she gave me i'm gonna put on a fat suit and the clothes that she wore in like a wig and I'm going to go to my mother's house and like kick down the door and like beat her on the ass with the paddle and see how she likes it. But I mean, I'm obviously not going to do that.
[13:18] No, no, listen, I, I, I completely understand the impulses. I really do. I obviously thought about, although you don't do it obviously, but, but in terms of releasing the emotion, uh, you know, if somebody who beats you, I mean, it's like if you, you, you have a beloved girlfriend or wife, and you find out that some guy's been beating her at work 500 times, I mean, you'd be murderous. So that level of rage is an antidote and a reemergence of assertiveness. Of course, you don't act on it, but it's important to feel it. So I'm with you there.
[13:53] Yeah.
[13:53] I'm with you there. Okay. So you said your mother's house, did your parents end up splitting up?
[13:58] Yeah. Yeah. They ended up getting a divorce. They initiated a divorce. My father initiated the divorce a couple months before my 13th birthday. And I was totally blindsided by it.
[14:13] Sorry, why were you blindsided by it? They didn't seem happy. I mean, your mother's making fun of your father's penis in front of the children, which is completely psycho. So what do you mean you were blindsided by it?
[14:24] I just...
[14:25] I'm not criticizing you or saying you're wrong. I just want to make sure. Like, my parents were miserable. I was completely blindsided by their divorce. It is like, I mean, completely?
[14:37] Yeah, I know. But it was just because it was so normalized in my house. Like it was just a, like to me, I mean, it was just a given that my, my mother and father like did not get along.
[14:48] Oh, so sorry. So they didn't seem unhappy with being unhappy. Is that right?
[14:55] Yeah, pretty much.
[14:56] Okay. Got it. Okay. So they announced the divorce. Did they say why it was occurring? Um, I ate one of your mother's ho-hos. Anyway, sorry. Go on.
[15:08] Yeah. Um, well, there's a lot to go. There's a lot that goes into that um well i i don't want to i like i don't want to yank us back and try to you know it's there's so much that goes into that like i can't just, i'm sorry i.
[15:27] Mean i'm sure they didn't give you all the details but what did they say uh what did your father say about why he was divorcing your mother or did he say anything.
[15:36] He i don't remember him giving me any specific reasons i was on my way to football practice i was on my way out the door maybe i came home from football practice and he sat me down at the the dining room table and he told me that uh that him and my mother were getting a divorce.
[15:56] And I started, like my world came crashing down. And I started, I don't know. I mean, I felt a flurry of emotions. And the first thing I said, the first thing that came out of my mouth was I started crying. And I said, this is all that bitch's fault. Because growing up, I mean, me and my dad, really, the only way we really bonded was, was we we bonded through like not liking our mother and wanting to avoid like a bitching nagging episode or me wanting to avoid a beating or or a punishment and but your parents weren't physically.
[16:34] Violent with each other if i understand this.
[16:37] No never.
[16:40] So, when you say your world came crashing down, you know, totally blindsided, of course, I'm not disagreeing with your emotional experience, but if there's a woman who beats me, and now I get to spend much less time around her, how is that a big negative?
[17:03] Well i didn't want my father to like like i didn't know what the arrangement was going to be when the news broke to me um i didn't know if my father was going to leave the house or if my mother was going to leave the house and i didn't want my father to leave me with my mother i didn't want to be stuck in the house with my mother who was the way she was oh so that okay so.
[17:22] I got it so your, you know, violent, maybe sadistic mother was now going to have complete control over you without the minorly mediating influence of your father. Is that right?
[17:35] Yeah. Like, yeah. And, you know, and at the time, I mean, for years at that point, I was a very bad student and I was, I would always be in trouble because of my grades. And, uh, you know, if it was up to my mother, like I'd never be able to go over to my, my friend's house who had a nice big house and all these cool toys. And he was cool. And I loved hanging out with him. And like, that was my escape. And they actually had food at their house. We didn't have food at our house. We were broke for many years going like up to that point and uh you know i just sorry i just missed that last.
[18:00] Little bit um you're swallowing your words a tiny bit so.
[18:03] You said that you were at.
[18:05] Your friend's house he was cool big house cool toys and i missed the part about the food.
[18:09] Like he actually had food in their pantry like you could go into the pantry yeah i remember they.
[18:17] They actually had pop which was like i never had any not that it was great to drink or whatever but yeah i had i had friends you like you open the the the little closet in the basement and there's just rows of of stuff you can.
[18:30] Yeah it.
[18:31] Was like paradise but sorry go on.
[18:32] Oh yeah oh they were the same way they had uh refrigerators and deep freezes down in the basement too with you know pizza bagels pizza rolls i mean french toast i mean anything you could imagine right but uh but yeah i was afraid i'd be stuck in my house with my mother boarding over me and uh keeping me from going and like because my life my life at home was hell i mean our family life was chaotic there was i mean every evening it would devolve into like the whole house yelling and fighting with each other and it was just super stressful and you know our house was really messy and disorganized and like we didn't have any toys there or anything going on anything fun no food and like my home life sucked and well and this is why you couldn't go to my friend's house that's.
[19:17] Why you couldn't study, I mean, I know this one. I mean, I remember even as a kid feeling like this is a complete fucking joke of a system that, you know, I had a good friend. He later became a, he got a PhD and he, you know, he would sit by the pool and he'd read his books and sometimes his mother would bring him some iced tea and his father was a head of engineering and, you know, like just would help him out with all. And I was like, you know, good for him, man. I mean, that's great.
[19:48] But he and I were judged by the same standards. My mother would be half, you know, smoking all night in my room and clacking away on her electric typewriter, composing endless letters of complaint and threats. And it's like, okay, so, and, you know, I was hungry. One of the reasons I got my first job at the age of 10 is I just needed food. And so you know we're judged by the same standard and i had teachers who were like well if if effort matched ability you'd be an a plus it's like yeah i ever wonder why i don't like i don't have any energy to put out any effort at one point in in high school i was working three jobs and so it's just the system judges all the children by the same standard and i understand that i mean i get that. But if you're in a severely deficient environment, right, no good food, a lot of stress and sleep. Sleep is the big issue, right? Because it's really hard to sleep when you're in a house of chaos, violence and mental torture. It is very hard to get good sleep because you never know when someone's going to erupt and uh so yeah i mean just judged by the same standard and you know so it wasn't like i mean a bad student i mean that's like if somebody ties to two anvils to your legs in a running race you say well it's just a bad runner it's like nope i got the anvils i don't know i mean that's probably a pretty good runner but but there were those anvils sorry go ahead.
[21:18] Oh no i mean you're totally right i mean that the sleep was a major issue too i was always sleep deprived i always had bags under my eyes i mean i just i wanted to put my head down at class and sleep for most of the time and uh you know i would you know teachers over the years pulled me aside and said how does somebody as smart as you uh like like what are you doing like you're not doing your work you don't pay attention to class i mean.
[21:40] You're throwing your life away i just i would have an answer for them yeah you're literally falling asleep in their class you've got bags under your eyes clearly you're sleep deprived like that's not even like you can't hide that, and everyone.
[21:56] Knew we were that crazy house growing up sorry to interrupt.
[21:59] Well yeah i mean the teacher is probably a little bit more remote but uh but i mean it's just a basic thing hey you're falling asleep in class are you getting any sleep at home that's all somebody has to ask hey you have bags under your eyes you have no energy what is your sleep and nutrition situation yeah i mean and you pass through dozens of teachers care and not one person and i get why i'm not like necessarily throwing everyone under the bus i get why but this is why when people say oh i care about the children i care about the environment i care about ukraine society doesn't care about shit.
[22:46] Because you can have some exhausted half-starved child in your classroom and all you'll do is bitch at them for not working hard enough so when people say well i care i care about the sick and the poor and the infirm and it's like you don't care about shit because when you have a kid half dying in front of you you just nag them and poke them with a stick and tell them to work harder like society is just really fucking cold and this is why when people say oh but i care about so many things like you don't care about anything it's just a bunch of bullshit you're just patting yourself on the back like some bizarre contortionist society doesn't care about its kids you know all the people who are like oh but global warming oh the temperature in 100 years is like you all sold your kids into debt slavery for some free fucking ding-dongs and pensions so don't talk to me about how much you care and you know a post-covid like looking at oh society cares so much for ukrainian freedom and these are people who took mystery shots for a fucking donut you know so just i just it's wearying you know it's also tiresome listening to all other things that people claim to care about and they don't and and you and i and other people who suffered in school in particular and you know even even your did your friend's parents ever sit you down and say gee, you know, you seem to be kind of tired and you seem to be kind of hungry and you got bags under your eyes. Like what's going on at home, bro? Right. I mean, and again, I get why people don't want to get involved. That's fine.
[24:12] But then don't tell me about things you care about.
[24:16] Yeah. You know, I was, I was very keenly aware when I was a kid that like, I, I don't have a support system. Like I'm, I'm being fucked. Like I, I could do well in life if I had a good home life. Like, why does this have to be me? You know? But there was one time when my best friend's father on a, on a field trip, we took a field trip to a museum and, um, I was hungry. My stomach hurt cause I was so hungry. And, um, like I was starting to, and I was tired. Of course I was so sleep deprived and i was i was like on the verge of tears and he asked me what was wrong he pulled me aside and asked me what was wrong and i just told him i'm just i'm so i'm tired i'm so hungry and he you know he took me to the food court and bought me a sandwich and you know he you know and, that was very kind of him that was very kind of him, i mean.
[25:03] You know i mean for me at that time i mean that's that's that's making a meal out of a scrap and and i get that and yeah yeah i guess it was kind of kind but uh how about how about he says well what do you not have food at home like what's going on and then you know referring you to cps or or something like that or i mean and i'm you know i guess it was kind of kind but he's basically everyone's saying we don't want to get involved in your family he saw.
[25:34] He saw my situation for what it was but he you know he'll like he didn't want to get involved like yeah he didn't want to get involved.
[25:39] And that's fine again people so again we we know this from being abused as children that society uh they don't want to get involved they don't and and everyone's what are they scared of your parents like what are your parents going to do right and so uh so that's fine i mean society can do all of that but then society just can't credibly claim to care about things Because if you can't care about a kid, you know, half starved and tortured and sleep deprived in front of you, then don't tell me about your lovely, tender, wonderful feelings for the kids in Africa or Ukraine or like, it's just, it's just absolute complete and total nonsense. Sense it's like that heat map of like who people care about but i mean it's i mean i my my mother was was um was involuntarily institutionalized i went to visit her all the time they knew her life like they would they would knew they would get her all her files i assume from the doctor.
[26:42] And they knew that there was no father no, and my mother was institutionalized i went to visit her every day or every second day, and not one person in the asylum or the institution not one person said hey um your primary caregiver and inconsistent income earner is institutionalized um how what's going on how are you doing yeah and i went there i went there for i don't know like a month or or two or however long she was there and not one person ever oh how are you doing gosh this has got to be kind of upsetting for you i mean you're 12 or 13 years old and and this is what's going on so how are you doing and like there was nothing nothing it's nothing and and again society can do all of that but don't tell me what you care about it's nonsense yeah.
[27:41] I mean by the time i got into eighth grade and i'm skipping over a lot here but like when i got into eighth grade i mean i was totally dead on the inside and i i had so much going on at home and my my friends were really starting to outpace me in terms of like social development and uh like fitting in with peers and getting ready for high school and stuff and and um and they all turned on me and started ignoring me and acting like i wasn't there and that really fucked with my head.
[28:06] Okay hang on hang Hang on. So I want you to pause. No, go ahead. Go ahead.
[28:13] I was going to say, like, at that time, I was totally dead on the inside. And like, I walked around with this permanent scowl on my face. And that's when the school recommended that I talk to a counselor.
[28:21] No, no, that's not what I was interrupting for.
[28:24] Oh, right.
[28:27] So the effect of our past on our future is defined by the language we use. Right. So this is why I pause. You say I was blindsided. My world crumbled. And now you're saying my friends totally turned on me. Right. So the effect, I mean, the only thing that matters in our past is the effect it has on our future. And the effect it has on our future is defined not by what happened in the past, but by the language we use to describe it. Right. So, right. I can look at de-platforming. Oh, it's so unjust and wrong and bad. It's like, oh, it liberated me to work on more core and essential philosophy, which is going to, which I enjoy more and, and it's going to do more good for the world in the long run. I mean, if I was still in politics, I wouldn't have written peaceful parenting. So it's how, it's the language we use to describe it. So this is why if you say, well, my parents are splitting up, this is the worst thing in the world. Okay. What was the custody arrangement after your family split up?
[29:34] Um the custody arrangement we were all going to stay in the house and uh my father at first said he was going to leave the house he was going to leave um and they were both going to we the kids would all stay in the house with my mother my father would move out of the house and they both agreed to work it out amongst themselves and not get attorneys and then my father went behind my mother's back and got an attorney, but he was unemployed and on disability at that time. And she was the breadwinner at that time. And she found out about it, so she got a better attorney. And then long story short, my mom was able to, she had to move out into an apartment for almost a year, but she was able to get back into the house. And the arrangement was about a year into the divorce. My father had to move out and then my mother stayed in the house for the rest of the time and all the kids stayed in the house too okay.
[30:28] That's not answering my question with all due respect what was the custody not not where the hell did people live what was the.
[30:35] Custody arrangement after children um the custody arrangement uh we we weren't really assigned either parent we were allowed to come and go as we pleased between uh our parents houses so.
[30:48] That's a huge win isn't it.
[30:50] Yeah you.
[30:55] I mean, you could go stay with your dad as long as you wanted, right?
[30:58] Yeah, and I did in eighth grade and in the freshman year. But his house, I mean, he lived on disability. He couldn't really afford food. And his house, it had this weird smell to it. The walls were paper thin.
[31:14] Sorry, he couldn't afford food? What do you mean?
[31:16] Like enough food, like good food.
[31:19] Sorry, sorry.
[31:20] He was living on...
[31:21] You sit there pop all the time.
[31:25] Well yeah that's right they could afford pop we had all the pop okay so don't don't give me this crap that.
[31:31] Your dad couldn't afford food.
[31:32] That's i i know what you mean do you yeah yeah like okay they have food for soda they have food for these snacks but what were these daddy cakes.
[31:43] Or what they called.
[31:44] Yeah like like little debbie snacks like that money would be better put to use buying like potatoes and and eggs and milk but you know how do you.
[31:51] Know how cheap it is to eat healthy.
[31:53] It's insane i know we were that broke but we were no no no they decided that broke if you've.
[31:59] Got money for bullshit chemical sugar snacks and pop you've got money for uh potatoes and you've got money for vegetables and you've got money for patties or.
[32:12] Whatever that's true but i mean that's true but it never crossed it apparently that never crossed their mind i mean no no no my god man It's.
[32:19] The language that I'm trying to sort out with you. Something is wrong with the, and I'm not criticizing you at all, right? But something is wrong with the language you use to describe your past. How do I know that? Because you're unhappy with your present and you can't see a future. Right, so I want you to think if you're hiking in the woods on your own, right? And let's say you don't have a GPS. Let's say it's when I was a kid. There's no GPS, right? And you've got some map, but it's pretty hard to figure out the map because you're in the woods. Now, if you end up off the path, right? There's some animal track that you start taking that you think is the path, and it ends up winding into the arse end of nowhere. Can you get home if you never define yourself as lost?
[33:19] No.
[33:20] Right. So you need to have a word or a phrase called I'm lost in order to start changing your behavior. If you don't, if you say, no, no, I'm bang on, I've glanced at the map, looks like the McDonald's is just over the next hill or whatever you're looking for, right? But if you don't define yourself as lost, you just keep plowing on getting more and more lost so you have to have i'm lost is i took the wrong path and now i need to get my bearings i need to figure things out i need to do whatever i'm going to do because i'm lost obviously i need to start heading back and look for the main path whatever it is i'm going to do right so yeah yeah so the language that you use to describe your past, right i'm lost means it's it's an accurate description of i took the wrong turn.
[34:11] Three hours ago right now if you think you took the right turn three hours ago you're not going to double back if you accurately say i took the wrong turn three hours ago and i am now lost then you can double back in other words the future of your hiking is defined, by the language you use to describe what happened in the past. If you say, I went the right direction, you'll just keep going. If you say, I'm lost, I went the wrong direction, then you'll turn back. So the future is defined by the language you use to describe your past on the hike. If your language says, I took the right path, you'll keep going. If your language says, I'm lost, you're double back so you're going to go forward or backwards north or south 180 or zero based upon the language you use to describe the past does that make sense yeah now you you don't know where to go in the future you feel lost and dissociated and that means that the language that you use to describe the past is inaccurate.
[35:20] So, for instance, if you look at your teachers, they said, well, the reason you're not doing well in school is you just got to work harder and learn to concentrate, you lazy bastard, or something like that, right? So, they, or mine was like, well, you're just lazy, you just, if effort matched ability, you'd be an A+. So, they were defining my past as containing the sin of laziness or inattention or something like that, right?
[35:48] Yeah.
[35:49] So they diagnosed my present difficulties as based upon a personal vice or failing on my part when that wasn't true. It was the fact that not my, I don't view my mother as having abused me. I view society as having abused me because they all enabled it. Right? So I've mentioned this before, but I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm trying to, this is all really true to hopefully illuminate things for you.
[36:16] So uh people in society never called the police when i was being audibly beaten in paper thin apartment walls when i was a kid right beating screaming things smashing against the wall my mother throwing plates and stuff like that nobody ever called the police the only time that the magnificent society i lived in called the police was when i was having a party and having fun and then they called the police three times and the police came three times and said well this isn't so loud i don't know what people's problem is so when i was being beaten nobody lifted a finger when i was having a relatively quiet party everyone called the police in the hopes that they could smash my enjoyment yeah so so so that's society it's not my mother didn't abuse me my mother was embedded in a society where she knew she could abuse me because nobody would do a goddamn thing but they'd all be crying about the poor in a foreign country right the the poor kid being beaten next door fuck that kid however uh if there's some skinny kid on the other side of the world uh people erupt in tears and clutch their breasts and and are all passionate about helping and saving and right that's just the world as it is right so the reason i'm stopping you on the language and have done so repeatedly is that your language is not accurate about what happened.
[37:45] So when you say, well, my father was in disability, his house smelled and he couldn't afford food. Okay. Why was your father on disability?
[37:58] Because he injured his neck at work. And then I don't remember if this was at his full-time job or if this was his side, his side gig building decks, but he injured his neck and had to go to the doctor and get it looked at. And I think he went back to work early against the doctor's orders and then re-injured it. And then he got laid off from his full-time job and had to get very serious surgery on a disc on his neck. Okay.
[38:29] Okay, so your father was on disability because he didn't listen to the doctor, went back to do a physical job while obese, against doctor's orders, right? So he was on disability because he put himself there.
[38:52] Yeah.
[38:55] Now if he injured his neck why did that mean he couldn't work at anything ever.
[39:03] Yeah that's uh that's a good point i mean he was he supervised an entire plant and that by that time i mean he worked in an office managing and supervising stuff from his office so i mean that's yeah that's a good point it's not uh he could have worked at a desk and I mean, if he didn't get disability.
[39:20] Would he have just starved to death? Or would he have found some way to make some money?
[39:25] He could have found a way.
[39:27] Okay, so he was ripping off the system. He was, like a lot of people do, you know, maybe it's an, you know, when I hear neck injury, I just immediately think bullshit. But, you know, he got operated on, so it wasn't just like, oh, whiplash, like stuff that you can't really prove. So, okay, so he injured himself through his own idiocy, his own whatever, right? Now, I don't listen to what the doctors know. It turns out the doctors sometimes know quite a bit. So he put himself on disability and he stayed on disability because it was easier than working. Now, that's not what disability is for. Disability for people who cannot earn any money or at least enough to live on and your father i'm sure could have done something right i mean how did his neck end up was he in like chronic agonizing pain could he not turn his head i mean what happened as a result.
[40:24] Of
[40:24] These i know when people go in and operate on the spine it can really they're really rolling the dice right.
[40:28] Yeah he was he was in very serious pain for at least a few years after that um like his his neck was in constant pain he had trouble like raising his arm above his shoulder like he had to he had to take well he was prescribed painkillers for the first couple of years and uh it was it was it was pretty bad we'd have to rub ointment on his neck uh it it sorry you'd have to do what on his neck uh rub some kind of like medical ointment right right that he wasn't like he wasn't able to do that he wasn't able to reach back there i mean he was i mean yeah yeah.
[41:04] Right okay uh but then after a couple of years it got better or somewhat better.
[41:09] Um i don't know if it got somewhat better i mean he was still like he'd still like uh uh he'd still like complain about it like how he's in pain but he had to he decided to wean himself off of the the painkillers for uh for whatever reason but uh yeah anyway he was uh i'm i'm sorry i'm i'm off track here what was no no.
[41:30] No you're not on track you know off track so you're saying i was asking if he got better you said he was in pain for several years uh did it get better after that.
[41:38] Yeah yeah it got to where he could he could like tinker around in the garage and okay so he could work small jobs here and there but he'd have to he'd have to rest yeah i get it long story short he could work now.
[41:53] Given that he had neck issues and spine issues, did he at least exercise and lose the weight?
[42:03] No, he didn't exercise. The only thing he did to lose the weight was he stopped drinking Mountain Dew.
[42:08] Okay, so did he lose the weight?
[42:10] He lost 50 pounds. He lost 50 pounds after he stopped drinking soda.
[42:14] Yeah, I don't know what that means relative to his... Oh, he was still obese? So he went, well, like 350 to 300 kind of thing? Okay. Yeah, I mean, when people have musculoskeletal issues and they remain obese, my sympathy dips a tiny bit.
[42:34] Yeah. Okay.
[42:37] And did he just remain on disability that that's the rest of his life?
[42:43] Yes. Yes.
[42:47] All right so he's never getting a job again right the taxpayer is just going to have to fund him till the money runs out.
[42:53] Yeah pretty much and i think he's starting to draw to draw a pension from the uh the company he worked at for 25 or 30 years and he'll be able to get uh social security uh later this year and he does he does odd jobs here and there for one of his friends businesses but yeah pretty much he's going to be on disability for uh yeah yeah the rest of his life And.
[43:14] What age were you when he got this injury?
[43:18] I would have been nine years old, around nine years old.
[43:23] Oh, wow. Okay. So for almost 20 years, he's been on disability. Okay. All right. And what does he do with his time?
[43:40] Um he'll visit uh visit our grandparents although my mother or my grandmother passed away a few months ago like he'd go visit people he'd go tinker around um with he would just tinker with stuff he'd go like really not much really not a lot or he'd he'd go on like fishing trips with his friends or whatever wait he caught fishing trips yeah yeah oh.
[44:04] My god oh i can't work a neck injury so bad but i can be on a wobbly boat that's fine.
[44:12] Yeah and i can you know and and i can coach i can coach my you know my older sisters i can coach all of her sports for several hours in the afternoon for most days of the week for months at a time for four years on end. I can do that just fine. And I can like rant and rave and yell at the referees and, you know, throw my hands up. Like, that's not a problem. That doesn't hurt my neck. I can be, oh, whatever.
[44:35] Okay. All right. So anyway, it's not the most honorable way to bleed the taxpayer dry. All right. Okay. So the reason that I'm asking all of these questions is that you have these very strong statements. And just so you know how I work, I'm on the sniff for strong emotional statements that don't quite make sense. Right? So when you said, well, my parents fought like crazy about, And then they got divorced, and my world came crashing down. And I don't understand why. Now, you say, well, I was concerned that I was going to have to spend more time with my mom, but it turns out you could spend way less time with your mom. So you could easily say, and I'm not saying whether you should or shouldn't, but, you know, just in terms of the cause and effect, you could say, my parents got divorced which meant i didn't have to spend really any time with my mother whoo that was great yeah but no no it blindsided me my world came crashing down you know what i mean like and i'm trying to figure like because it turned out to be good now i understand you could say well i didn't like it at the time but it turned out to be good right i like i wasn't like yay de-platforming uh but it turned out to be good right yeah.
[46:01] I mean yeah it did turn out to be good um i didn't have to deal with uh my parents fighting all the time there weren't nearly as many like you know family-wide like yelling screaming matches.
[46:10] Throughout no it's not just that you said that your mother was much more violent than your father yeah.
[46:16] I mean the downside to going to my father's house though was he lived like 15 minutes away and like at my mother like at my mother's house i could walk to my friend's house and uh i could i could walk to a couple of my friend's houses and uh and hang out with them and whatever and like escape and like have an escape from my.
[46:32] Sorry he was 15 minutes away by what by car by car okay so didn't you get a bike or get a second hand bike or put i mean i put a bike together from stuff i found in garbage right so my bike i mean obviously it's not as fast as a car it might take it to 40 minutes or whatever unless it's highway or something right but did you not get a bike to visit your friends when you were at your dad's.
[46:59] No i i never thought to do that.
[47:01] But you knew that there were bikes right, So with your dad, you were stuck in this smelly, depressing place with no decent food.
[47:15] Right.
[47:16] Okay. All right. So, and so when you say your father couldn't afford food, that's just a lie. And I'm not saying you're like some big stinky liar, but it's a false statement, even based upon the evidence that you're giving me, right?
[47:30] Yeah. Okay.
[47:32] So the reason why I was asking this is you said, my friends totally turned on me when I became sort of sour and negative into my teens. My friends turned on me. That's a very powerful statement. It's a statement of betrayal and loss and false friends and to some degree, victimhood and so on, right?
[47:52] Yeah, that's how it felt at that time. I don't quite see it like now looking back on it more objectively, but that's how it felt at the time.
[47:57] All I can do is go on what you tell me. When you say my friends turned on me, then I assume that's what you think about it. Now, you don't, because you don't tell me, well, at the time, I thought my friends turned on me, but looking back, right, I see it differently, right?
[48:13] Yeah, yeah.
[48:14] Like, if I say to you, I was devastated by being deplatformed, would you think that I had changed my mind since then?
[48:22] Yeah, yeah.
[48:24] And you didn't even have a past You didn't say it wasn't in the past You say my friends Totally turned on me, In the same way you said with regards to your father, and please understand, I'm not calling you a liar and I'm not trying to overly nitpick. I'm just telling you where I'm getting this stuff from. You said, my father went behind my mother's back when he got a lawyer, right? Well, again, that is a statement of intense emotional provocation, right? Because it could have easily been that your mother threatened to go to a lawyer and your father just went first it could be that your mother was being completely irrational and aggressive and he actually had to go and get a lawyer because she was something something bad was like you don't know right yeah yeah but so your mother probably said well my father your father just went behind my back and she probably held all this venomous language which has stuck in you.
[49:16] Yeah yeah you're right.
[49:19] So you got to disgorge all these venomous barbs you know it's like if you get stuck you accidentally roll on a a porcupine you got to get all the barbs out right, so you got all these language barbs in you that i don't see the root cause of or at least could be interpreted in a number of different ways if that makes sense so you've got to you've got to figure out the venomous language that got driven into you like nails by your parents and pull that shit out.
[49:51] Right. Hmm. Didn't think about it that way.
[50:01] Well, that's the language is our future. The language we use to define the past creates our future. If I don't define myself as getting lost, I have no chance of being found again. And so the language that you use. So when you became sort of negative, sour, and I can't remember the other words that you used to describe when you were sort of launching into your teens, you said your friend's, What was the phrase? It wasn't turned their backs on you. Turned on you. Is that right?
[50:34] Yeah.
[50:35] Okay. So what did that mean in practical terms? Like if I was just watching a documentary without all of this narrative subtext, what would I see if I was just watching the video?
[50:51] They would see me.
[50:54] No, what would I see? Not they.
[50:56] Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right. um i would go up to them and try to talk to them i was very socially awkward and hadn't developed at the same pace as them and they were coming into their their high school years like getting ready for high school and uh you know being interested in girls and so like they were at that level of social development and i was like embarrassed i was like embarrassing to be seen with at that point sure and now did you have sorry did.
[51:20] You have like any hygiene issues did you have did you dress badly? I mean, I assume so, right? I mean, not necessarily about hygiene issues, but you would have stood out like, here's a kid who's dysfunctional?
[51:33] Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it was palpable. I mean, you could see it from a mile away by my expression. And I mean, we had uniforms at our school, but outside of school, I always had to hand-me-down clothes that didn't fit quite right. And that was very...
[51:47] And what about things like deodorant, washing your hair enough, taking care of your teeth? I mean, I assume all of those were sort of problems or could be.
[51:57] The hygiene wasn't a problem with me. But the thing about my father's house when I moved over there in eighth grade to get away from my mother, my mother's craziness, the smell of his house, I can't even describe it, but it was like a dumpster almost. And the smell, you'd be in there for 10 seconds and the smell would get stuck to your clothes and you'd have to throw your clothes in the washer. And it just it just radiated outward from me and like it was it was awful like you had to get away from it so but what was the smell did.
[52:22] You ever figure it out.
[52:23] No no.
[52:28] All right. Okay. So you said your friends turned on you. I don't necessarily see it that way. And listen, the last thing I'd want to do is tell you what your experience is, but an outside eye can be helpful in redefining these things. Okay. So is this sort of 14, 15, 16?
[52:51] This is a 14. This is an eighth grade.
[52:53] Okay. So 14, I remember eighth grade very vividly. Okay. So So, is the purpose of our lives and our genetics, is the purpose of a male's genetics to be friends with another man?
[53:11] No.
[53:13] What is the purpose of male genetics?
[53:18] To mate with females and reproduce.
[53:22] Yeah, to get girls and have babies, right?
[53:24] Yeah, yeah.
[53:25] Now, from an evolutionary standpoint, males who choose male friends over access to females, what happens to those genes?
[53:38] Their genes die off.
[53:39] Yeah, their genes die off, right? So you were, at this point, and through no fault of your own, this is just, you know, the crazy water that you had to try and survive in and surf and tread water in, you had become a liability to their reproductive success.
[53:55] Yeah, absolutely.
[53:56] And so it wasn't like they turned on you or betrayed you. It's that they are programmed to remove obstacles to reproductive success because that's what we're programmed to do. It's instinctual. It is, we can understand that it's healthy in terms of reproduction and so on. And they can't fix you, right? Because they're kids, right? They're 14 years. They can't fix you. They can't fix your environment. They can't fix your family. They can't fix your sleep issues. They can't fix your hunger. They can't fix your smell, right?
[54:32] Yeah, right.
[54:33] So they can't fix you.
[54:34] Like I was embarrassed.
[54:35] Yeah, they can't fix you. They're outgrowing you, again, through no fault of your own. And you are a liability when it comes to talking to girls. Because girls look at the boys and the company they keep. And if they're friends with a guy who's really awkward and kind of smelly and whatever it is right then they're going to have much less of a chance to ask quality girls out right, right right so it wasn't that they turned on you it's that their genes were saying he's a liability we need to reproduce he's expendable and we can completely understand that because if our ancestors didn't do that, you and I wouldn't be here.
[55:24] So through no fault of your own, you had become a liability for your friends in the dating market, which is sort of the purpose of the teenage years, right? So it's kind of like if you were on a running team and then you badly twisted your ankle, right? And you were out for six months and you were to say, oh my teammates totally turned on me and kicked me out yeah would that make any sense no like sorry you're now a liability like through no fault of your own you just fell and twisted your ankle but you're now a liability to the team and we can't win so we got to cut you yeah happens all the time in sports right whereas if you were to say well i was just totally betrayed by my teammates right that would be inaccurate Hear it. Because you're not saying, well, I really twisted my ankle and I couldn't run. And it was a running team race, a relay race or something, right? Relay team. So this is what I mean by the language. Now, how did your father describe how he got his injury? Or what was the cause?
[56:40] I never talked to him about how he got his injury or like what like i i don't remember him talking to me about his injury but he did have this woe is me i'm being hard done by attitude about uh you know the state of our finances or feeling like a number of things like feeling like oh somebody one of the kids didn't get a fair shot in sports because they're not one of the legacy families that feeds into the private.
[57:07] Oh one of those people oh god oh yeah the whole system is corrupt and screwed and you can't get ahead and it's not what you know it's who you know and yeah yeah yeah okay yeah yeah so he never said well um two things number one i was doing some pretty hard physical labor while being severely obese not a good idea number one number two i didn't listen to my doctor, yeah yeah because that would be an accurate explanation right yeah okay, so he does not view himself as the author of any of his own misfortunes he also blames your mother for his bad marriage yeah like uh the bitch right that you and your father referred Now, I'm not arguing with the name, but I'm just saying, bro, you chose her.
[58:06] Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
[58:07] You chose to date her, get engaged, get married, give her not one, two, three, four, five children, right?
[58:14] Yeah.
[58:15] And you chose to overeat. You chose to drink liquid diabetes poison known as pop.
[58:22] Mm-hmm.
[58:25] And who is the author of your own misfortunes except you? And then you chose to sit on disability for 20 years when you could have done something again i get that sometimes these issues can be chronic and all of that right, but i believe people with chronic health issues i give them sympathy if the rest of their health is managed well so if somebody says uh oh i've got chronic knee pain and they're 300 pounds i just don't have any sympathy i just i because then what am i gonna how am i going to deal with people who have chronic knee pain that they did not likely caused by their own behavior yeah it's like well um but you had a lot of fun eating right.
[59:20] Yeah like people who cry like who gorged themselves and and smoke for their entire lives and then they complain that they're unhealthy and then they live off the taxpayer you know.
[59:28] Yeah i mean the living off the tax procedures that we have to pay for yeah i mean the living off the taxpayer stuff is enraging but um yeah like i mean and of course i'm at the age where i can see people's health decisions people's health decisions are really catching up with them, like because i'm in my late 50s right so i can see people's health decisions, good or bad they're really catching up with them right and so i just it's like the guy who smokes and then oh my i can't catch a breath i can't i can't run i can't climb the stairs it's like yeah but you enjoyed the nicotine for decades yeah i'm not i'm not going to pretend that they didn't have their pleasures, so that is to me kind of foundational now what happened for you in your teens when you were going through this I guess unappealing phase.
[1:00:25] Um I, I was very I was very lonely um I had a lot of anxiety about the future because my grades were really bad and i couldn't concentrate um, the well sorry was sleep also.
[1:00:46] Bad at your dad's hovel i sort of think of them as like living in this this hoarder hovel a hole in the ground but was was sleep also bad there too.
[1:00:56] Uh yeah because he would stay up late and watch tv and i didn't i mean the the walls were really thin and you'd have to turn the volume like he could turn the volume way down and i'd still be able to hear like everything and i wouldn't well you've got hypervigilance.
[1:01:11] Too at this point right.
[1:01:13] Yeah okay.
[1:01:13] All right so uh you were worried about your future you had this anxiety your grades were still poor uh did anything happen with girls in your sort of mid mid-teens.
[1:01:25] No and i couldn't i had a very tough time uh interacting with the opposite sex i i was exposed to uh pornography when i was in second grade at my friend's house and so and i got sorry second grade.
[1:01:44] Was it seven or eight years old?
[1:01:46] Yep.
[1:01:47] So did your friend who was seven or eight, did he, he had access to pornography?
[1:01:53] Yeah, they had unrestricted internet access. And I think it was his older brother or him. I don't remember exactly. Um, one of them pulled up the, this, uh, this porn site and we were like watching porn on their family computer and hoping their parents can catch us. But, uh, yeah. Yeah.
[1:02:12] Oh yeah. the internet is a demon in some ways okay so and so did did you have access to pornography at your mother and your father's house.
[1:02:22] Yeah and i i watched it for years i sneak away into the computer room and i would uh i would watch it and i know they knew uh that i watched porn, after a while like i knew like everybody knew that i i watched porn and my brother would make jokes like alluding to it uh but never saying anything directly like there's no, and this is before puberty and like everybody knew about like i have a hard time believing i can't believe that everybody knew about it except my parents like uh no measures were taken at all to uh like i was never confronted about it i was never talked to about it no measures were taken to try to restrict access to pornography or anything like that um well but your parents i I mean.
[1:03:09] If your parents didn't have a sex life, they were probably pornography addicts themselves.
[1:03:16] I never thought about that.
[1:03:24] I mean, people don't just not have sex. I mean, I suppose there's a few people who are asexual or whatever, but they don't tend to have five kids, right?
[1:03:33] Yeah.
[1:03:34] So I know it's hard to think, of course, about parents' hormones and sex drives and so on, But just because you're overweight doesn't mean that you don't have a sex drive and all of that. And of course, for men in particular, not having orgasms is not, as far as I understand it, you know, obviously from a rank amateur standpoint, as far as I understand it, it's not great for men's reproductive health or prostate health to not have any orgasms. So... I mean, if your father was impulsive with regards to eating food to feel better, I would imagine that there was a pornography use going on if he didn't have ice. I mean, he's not had. Has he had a girlfriend in the last 20 years?
[1:04:15] Yeah, he only goes after he's had a few. He's only gone after Asian women who barely speak English because that's I mean, that's the only thing he can really pull.
[1:04:25] Asian women who barely speak English. I mean, why is why is why is that what he can pull? i don't i.
[1:04:31] Don't understand the uh the.
[1:04:33] Dating market at the moment so just help me understand.
[1:04:36] I think to him like he god he like, like when he would give me unsolicited dating advice like okay like i don't need dating advice from you of all people please stop but he'd give me unsolicited dating advice and he says oh son oh you know like oh you should go after asian women they worship the ground you walk on because like my mother wouldn't be good about uh keeping the house clean the house was horribly messing disorganized growing up and he uh he he wanted somebody to to do his laundry his his disgusting laundry and cook dinner for him and like keep the house clean and whatever and uh you know he, i don't think he has a lot going on as far as uh like conversations and stuff go so i mean, him him getting away and and you know asian women he can trick like asian women that he meets on facebook or whatever that they barely speak english or maybe from a foreign country he can trick them into thinking that he has money because to them, you know, a poultry disability check, like for them, that's a lot of money. Like he's an American, he's rich, but yeah, like that's the ration. And they probably, you know, for them, they're probably used to, I mean, small penises basically. And that, that is a factor. So that's, that was probably his, I mean, I think that was his thinking.
[1:05:48] Huh. I mean, I guess I've only been around, uh, I've only really been around high status Asian women. So, but I guess you're You cut out.
[1:05:56] There for a second. I'm sorry.
[1:05:57] Yeah, it's just saying I've only really been around high status Asian women. So I guess there's Asian women who will date an aging, half crippled, obese, white guy, right?
[1:06:10] Yeah right all.
[1:06:11] Right all right strange stranger likes maybe this is why people like a lot of immigration is it brings in people who will actually put up with them.
[1:06:18] Okay so he's had uh he's.
[1:06:22] Had girlfriends over the past 20 years but is it not no relationship that's really lasted or has that happened.
[1:06:27] Um there was one that came over it it lasted for a couple of years but this lady barely spoke English I had no idea how they had a relationship this lady like it's she I'm not exaggerating here like she literally her speaking English sounded like that's literally what she sounded like I'm not exaggerating and um uh the summer like the the fall of sixth grade for me is when the the uh I was sat down and told about the divorce the following summer after my mother had been out of the house my father brought this Asian woman from the Philippines over to our house to live at our house. We had no notice. We had no warning whatsoever. He was just going to voice this on us and have this strange woman living in our house. And we didn't find out until, I know I'm kind of going on a tangent here, but we didn't find out until the day before from one of our aunts. And they thought that we knew, but my father didn't tell us at all. He brought this strange woman into our house to live.
[1:07:28] Now he's combing his hair. Now he's making and effort showering and like getting the house clean and everything and now he wants to play dad and he wants to play like macho man and everything and um we had the strange woman living in our house who doesn't speak english and we're all like what the fuck what the oh my god dude it was it was crazy a lot happened there too um but yeah yeah that's that's the most uh long-lasting relationship he had and now he has some other uh asian girlfriend that her husband died now he lives over at her house and they they are like together now wow.
[1:07:59] Wow okay, and your mother did she redate rebury.
[1:08:10] No okay.
[1:08:11] All right so what happened with you and girls let's just fast forward into your teens 20s have you gone on dates have you talked to girls much have you had sex i mean what's what's the status of your relationship with women as a whole.
[1:08:24] Um right now if um if i'm feeling good and i've taken care of my appearance like in the last couple of years like i can i'm i'm good at picture like you're.
[1:08:37] A you're a you're a good looking guy right so it's not like.
[1:08:40] That's an issue.
[1:08:41] Yeah so go ahead.
[1:08:42] Like i'm good at chatting up girls in stores and um you know especially like i'm i'm not every girl's type like i don't have like a universally like i'm not a 10 out of 10 every girl finds me attractive but like i'm either her type or i'm not and she'll she'll she'll see me and smile at me or whatever and be open and be receptive and then like i'm good at chatting up girls and and getting them to laugh and whatever and having uh you know uh having having good conversations with them. But as far as girlfriends go, I had one girlfriend my junior year of high school. I met her in the second semester of my sophomore year. She was a six. She wasn't anything special. She would have been pretty... She chopped her hair up and I was in a really low state at that time. I could tell she didn't have the best self-esteem because of the way she chopped her hair up and everything. And I met her and we were talking in the last month of a math class and we became friends. And then I had it in the back of my mind, you know what i could i know this girl finds me attractive i know she likes me and the following school year um we we uh reconnected and we started going out um and we went out for for six months and uh she's it wasn't like an actual relationship though i mean i i basically just i i she she found me as a status symbol because i was tall and good looking and i you know basically just used her for sex and had no intention of like having an actual relationship with her later on down the line, like marrying her. But yeah, like she's the only girl that I've gone out with and had sex with. So...
[1:10:09] Okay.
[1:10:09] So when you said it wasn't a real relationship, I mean, not all, I mean, not many high school relationships lead to marriage, right? And children. So when you said it wasn't a real relationship, the fact that you didn't intend to marry her, I mean, not many teenage boys are thinking about marriage. So what do you mean when you say it wasn't a real relationship?
[1:10:31] Um hmm I mean the standard I don't want to get I.
[1:10:36] Didn't want to get married to her I.
[1:10:37] Never really thought.
[1:10:38] About it that's not a standard that says it's not a real relationship.
[1:10:42] Well because I I just I only intended to get in her pants like it wasn't it wasn't genuine I didn't really like her for her, very much I just wanted to I saw this as an opportunity to finally lose my virginity and have sex with a girl.
[1:10:58] Okay so what did you not like about her.
[1:11:00] Um i don't know uh the well i do know but um let me think here um she was i mean she was kind of a shit lib and the way she chopped her hair up was kind of ridiculous i remember telling her a few times that she'd she'd actually be pretty if you just let her hair grow out naturally um but uh i don't know what didn't i like about her she uh we just she this was in 2015 early 2016 when like the the lgbtq transgender stuff was really taking off and she was really about that like trans rights and all this stuff and i just i was just i would just roll my eyes i thought oh my god how can you be into this stuff and so we we really didn't uh i mean we really didn't share a lot of values i mean we got a long time an.
[1:11:45] Npc in that way.
[1:11:46] Yeah yeah very susceptible yeah yeah yeah.
[1:11:49] Okay all right and so you did you did you socialize with her did you go to dinner movies like did you stuff not oh basically just booty call after booty call.
[1:12:01] It was just booty call it was just booty call after booty call like we would uh she'd come over to my house and we'd uh maybe like walk around and that we most of the most of the time we would just hang out at my house and like watch netflix and have sex but sometimes we'd go for a walk in the park or we'd go walk into the uh where the shops the shop areas were in like get ice cream or whatever but yeah most of the time it was just a booty call and.
[1:12:22] How old were you at this over this six month period you said sophomore i'm sorry that's not really a canadian.
[1:12:27] Right so oh my bad that was in um that was in 11th grade and that would have been after my 17th birthday okay.
[1:12:35] Got it and she was the same age right.
[1:12:36] She was a year older than me you're.
[1:12:39] Older okay and then what happened after six months.
[1:12:41] I just i i i got tired of, the the novelty warm all excuse me i can't i need to take a drink of water one second, i uh i just didn't find her interesting anymore i got tired of uh spending almost every weekend half the day on sunday every weekend you know just hanging out with her and having sex and you know we didn't really have very interesting conversations at that point and uh i just i i just had enough like the the novelty the stimulation wore off and then she she chopped her hair up kind of badly. And then she got her eyebrows done and they got like, they took way too much off. And I was like, okay, like I'm not attracted to her anymore. I can't do this anymore. And so I just, uh, I just started ignoring her and, and, uh, like avoiding her. And this went on for almost a week. And then she confronted me in the hallway talking about like, uh, you act like you don't want to date me anymore. What's going on? I said, yeah, I've been thinking about it. And then she like, uh, got upset and stormed off. She didn't want to be seen crying in front of everybody in the hallway. But yeah, that's how that ended.
[1:13:50] Well, I mean, she's probably self-mutilating in order to get out of a dead-end relationship like our hormones are like yay sex relationship and then if there's no commitment after six months our hormones turn off and say well we got to go somewhere else right.
[1:14:02] Yeah and another reason i was with her was because i finally had somebody to sit with at lunch because my entire uh 10th and 11th grade until i started dating her i was just i had no social skills i could not make friends with people and i like i sat alone every day at lunch.
[1:14:18] And sometimes that's very sad that's very sad.
[1:14:22] Oh yeah oh yeah.
[1:14:23] Okay all right so um was that the only girlfriend you've had, yeah so what have you been up to for the i mean other than the porn stuff what have you been up to for the last 10 years.
[1:14:36] With um you say.
[1:14:37] You talk to them okay do you do you get numbers go on dates you don't find them attractive like what what what what's going on.
[1:14:43] I've not been on a date i got one girl i cold approached this really i approach i cold approached this really hot girl in a restaurant one time and i got her number but i totally fumbled the over text thing i i i fumbled the texting and then she left me on red um then uh okay after her like before my girlfriend and after her like really up until the age of like uh 22 i uh i i didn't date girls because i didn't have anything to offer i had i really had nothing to offer in the way of uh of conversation or depth or anything like and just in general like being social with people like i never had anything to contribute other than like uh some uh like cynicism or criticism and i was just a bore to be around, and uh i i tried i tried getting another girlfriend i tried getting a girlfriend in 10th grade, um and it went very poorly oh that's before the six-month-er right for the six-month-er okay and um i've just i ended up texting okay i don't want to go back further hang.
[1:15:45] On i don't want to go back further i'm trying to get the.
[1:15:47] Last 10.
[1:15:47] Years i mean if there's something.
[1:15:49] Important obviously.
[1:15:50] But i think we're going the wrong direction.
[1:15:51] Okay okay no if there's something you wanted.
[1:15:55] To say about the before the 10th the 11th.
[1:15:57] I was just going to say i was just going to say like i ended up texting her. And all I ended up doing was like trauma dumping on her. And I was like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to trauma dump on her and this will like bring us closer. And then I can like date her and I can have sex with her. And it was, it was, it was totally retarded. And then, and then it went so poorly.
[1:16:16] Hang on. This is another really strong language, trauma dump, retarded and so on. Right. So you, you told her about your suffering in life. What what is that that makes that a trauma dump.
[1:16:33] Because we had barely we barely established like communication with each other like i barely do her and it wasn't really appropriate to be telling her about that stuff when i just met her.
[1:16:44] Okay got it all right but i.
[1:16:47] Mean you had.
[1:16:48] A lot of stored up sorrow that needed to.
[1:16:51] Be heard.
[1:16:51] Right okay all right so last 10 years no real dates no girlfriend right.
[1:16:59] No real dates no girlfriend and for the past uh five years i've been really focused um well i mean the past year i've i mean i've i'm established in my uh my line of work like financially i'm i'm i've achieved takeoff speed i don't have to worry about like okay let me let me slow down here uh the past i'd say from age 20 to age 24 i was really focused i had my nose to the grindstone and i had to i was i was making sure that i was like securing a financial future for myself before the next major recession kicked in. That was my thinking at the time. So I, to me, I was thinking like, okay, I don't have time to be talking to girls and I don't really, I'm not really equipped to.
[1:17:36] Uh, to be, to be, to be, hang on, hang on. I'll try and get that puck past this goalie, bro.
[1:17:42] Uh-oh.
[1:17:43] All right. So, um, you say that you're a pornography addict. So how many hours of porn consumption and masturbation are you on a week?
[1:17:54] I, yeah. Yeah, I just hold off into the ballpark. I do it like twice on the weekend and it's probably for like 20 minutes.
[1:18:07] Okay. So twice on the weekend, not during the week. Is that right?
[1:18:11] Not during the week. Right.
[1:18:13] Okay. Sorry. Cause I've talked to pornography addicts who were like an hour a day. So just wanted to.
[1:18:18] Oh my God.
[1:18:19] Okay. So you say you don't have time to date girls because of work is that right yeah.
[1:18:26] That was true for years it's not true now.
[1:18:27] Why is that true i mean how many hours a week a week were you working.
[1:18:31] Uh 50 40 or 50.
[1:18:34] Okay so that's 10 hours a day monday to friday is that right so you got evenings and weekends i'm not sure why you don't have time to talk to girls yeah that's true so that's true do you know that you're just telling things that just absolutely aren't true like are you aware of that i mean have you ever compared what you say to your actual life, i don't have time to talk to girls i do have time you've got tons of time i.
[1:19:08] Just have social anxiety and it's just it's it's gosh not to try to make excuses.
[1:19:13] No no i'm not i'm not trying to i'm not this listen please understand i'm not calling you a liar i'm really not and i'm not trying to give you any castigation or negativity nothing like that but you got to get in there and you're relatively new to philosophy right so it's a year and i i sympathize with that but you know a couple of big takeaways your language determines your future your language about the past defines your future and you have to compare your statements to what actually happened, so if you say i didn't have time right then you say is that true, Is that, is that, is that true? Did I not have time? Okay. If you were working a hundred hours a week and, and you had to take care of a sick mother and you know, whatever, right. And you, you were working out an hour a day. Okay. Like then you don't have time, right. But you were working 50 hours a week is nothing.
[1:20:10] Yeah. Um, yeah. Not to try to evade this, uh, you pointing this out, but I mean, another thing that was, another factor was, uh, ah, nevermind. Nevermind.
[1:20:25] Look, I'm not saying there aren't other factors. I'm not saying there's not social anxiety. I'm not saying this, that, or the other, right? What I am saying is that it's not that you didn't have time. That's not the answer. I'm not saying what the answer is and I'm not saying there's no answer, but that ain't it, right?
[1:20:44] Right.
[1:20:45] Right. If I say that my sunburn was caused by exposure to clouds, you know, that's not the answer. So that is an excuse you give yourself in order to avoid dealing with the actual answer. Would you like the actual answer? And it's not what you think.
[1:21:20] Absolutely. That's why I called you.
[1:21:21] So the actual answer is not that you don't feel like you have anything to offer women. You're a very intelligent guy. You're a great conversationalist. You're philosophical. You're making good money. So you have, you're tall. You said, you know, you're, you're slender. So you have a lot to offer. The prompt, the reason you don't talk to girls is you can't figure out what they have to offer you. I'm sure you've seen this meme. I don't agree with it, but you've seen this meme where this guy is like, control your lust and realize how boring 90% of women are.
[1:21:54] No, I haven't seen that, but that's pretty funny.
[1:21:56] Okay, so what have you seen that women have to offer men outside of sex? Like, take sex out of the equation. What have you seen in your life that women have to offer men outside of sex?
[1:22:15] Hmm do you mean like what i've seen firsthand like growing up with my family like like i what do.
[1:22:21] You mean what you have seen in your life i've.
[1:22:25] Seen in my life.
[1:22:26] Of course it's firsthand right not what you've read about not what you've observed right what have you seen in your life that women have to offer men outside of sex take sexual access out of the equation, what do women have to offer men that you have directly observed.
[1:22:52] It's hard to say off the top of my head because there's been such a variety of relationships that i've observed or that i've seen but uh uh children um companionship.
[1:23:03] Okay so what does what what have you seen that is companionship because this is just this sounds like words you're pulling out of your armpit, right? So what does companionship mean and how have you directly observed it? And I'm not questioning or criticizing. I just want to make sure I understand where you're getting the word from.
[1:23:24] You know, you're right. I don't really have anything to back that up. I'm just going off of what I've seen from other people, like from afar.
[1:23:39] Okay, I'm fine with afar. What have you seen that women offer a man in terms of companionship? Children are not what women offer men. I mean, men want children, but it's not... If, let's say you have three kids, like that's $600,000 to $700,000 worth of financial obligation for the man. So, it is actually a demand upon a man's time, effort, and resources for a woman to have children with the man. Now, of course, men want children for the most part and so on, but it's not what a woman offers a child because you can't say, I'm going to offer you something that you have to pay $700,000 for. Do you know what I mean? Here's my gift to you. I'm going to charge you $700,000, that would not be a gift, right? So what is it that women offer men, not sex, not children? And the reason is that sex is mutual, right? You're trading orgasms, right? So what is it that women offer men outside of sex and children? If you're going to say companionship, that's fine, but I don't know what that means. And I'm curious what you've seen.
[1:24:43] Yeah. Other than companionship, I can't really explain it right now.
[1:24:46] What is companionship and what have you seen? Because you keep using that word. I need to know what you mean by that boy.
[1:24:51] I was going to say, other than that, homemaking, managing the finances, taking a big burden off of the man's shoulders, you know, a fair division of labor between the two. Like, I go out and earn the money and I work and I put my body at risk. And she, you know, keeps the house clean and keeps the, you know, raises the kids when they're little.
[1:25:14] Oh, so this was like, sorry to interrupt. So this was your friend who had the nice house when you were younger.
[1:25:20] Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was their arrangement, yeah.
[1:25:26] Okay, so that was his mother who was doing that, right?
[1:25:29] Mm-hmm.
[1:25:30] Okay, so a woman can offer homemaking, running the finances, raising the children, particularly when they're young. That's what women have to offer men, right?
[1:25:43] Yeah.
[1:25:44] Okay, so how many women have you met who offer that?
[1:25:49] Oh, boy. um well my best friend's mom growing up.
[1:25:53] No no no sorry my my apologies i was i know that was my bad in the dating market since you were 16 years old or 15 or whatever you first started seriously talking about girls how many women or girls have you met who say i want to be a homemaker i want to support my husband i want to raise kids i want i'm a great cook i want to run finances i want to free him up to really focus on making money and i want to support him and so on right so of if if what women have to offer is the the homemaking and the raising of the children and so on and the running the finances running the household uh cooking or whatever right, so if this is what you're looking for how many women since you were 15 or 16 have offered that, zero okay so that's why you're not dating, because pornography takes away the sexual need, right? Because you can have your orgasms, right? So pornography takes, I mean, I guess it could be, what do they call it? The spank bank, like just memories, right? But you may not want to remember having that shaggy hair go down on you from an 18-year-old girl. So your sexual needs are taken care of through masturbation, which means that a woman has to offer you something other than sex in order to, be a failure to you.
[1:27:22] And okay so let's talk about the hot girl you say you fumbled got left on read so let's talk about the hot girl what did the hot girl offer you other than sex other than hotness.
[1:27:36] Um nothing i uh i i mean i i cold approached her to try to that was my first time cold approaching a girl and i really was just using her for practice tried to try to inoculate myself against, uh, the, uh, the stress and anxiety about, uh, you know, female rejection or whatever.
[1:27:54] And sorry, how old were you at that point?
[1:27:56] That was, that was a year ago. I was 25. I would have just turned 25.
[1:28:00] So that was a year ago?
[1:28:02] Yeah.
[1:28:03] Oh, sorry. I thought you said you didn't have any trouble talking to girls, but you're basically just talking over the last year.
[1:28:08] Yeah. Oh, just over the last year.
[1:28:10] Okay. Got it. So you went and talked to her and what did she have to offer you? Or what does she indicate that she has to offer you, outside of being hot and sexy or whatever?
[1:28:21] Nothing.
[1:28:22] Okay.
[1:28:23] Nothing. I was just using her as practice.
[1:28:25] So then why did you fumble something you didn't even want?
[1:28:32] That's a good point.
[1:28:36] You know, this car salesman was trying to sell me a beat-up used Lada. I totally fumbled that transaction. But did you want the car? No.
[1:28:44] No.
[1:28:49] Excuse me.
[1:28:56] And so, and the primary issue, sorry to be so forward, but the primary issue is not that women don't offer these things, is that, okay, let me ask you this. How many relationships, male, female relationships, relationships how many relationships have you seen where the woman submits in important areas, that the man is the leader in important areas and this is not to say that the man is the whole leader the woman is just a slave i'm not trying to say it but in productive relationships, right when i was a technical guy there would be a salesman like before i learned how to do sales myself there would be a salesman and i would defer to the salesman in how to sell and i would give the demonstration of the software and he would defer to me on how the software should be demonstrated if that makes sense right so so that is an example of i have authority in the technical side and in the demonstration side and he has authority in the meeting and sales side of things Does that make sense?
[1:30:04] Okay.
[1:30:05] And you work and you say you're doing well, so the division of labor is very common. So... The typical thing is the woman decides on the decoration and the man decides on the technology. Right? So the woman, you know, chooses the colors, the couch, the, you know, maybe the paintings and all of that. Like, I don't know a straight man who's ever involved in what kind of plates you buy. Lord knows I don't know. I just like having stuff to put my food on.
[1:30:33] I'm guilty of that, though.
[1:30:34] Well, but you don't have a girl yet. So that's a bit of a different matter, right? And you're trying to lure a girl. So, okay. So in general, but then the man is like, here's the Wi-Fi router. You know, we're going to get this kind of TV. this is the internet access we need right so there's some usually i mean could be any number of things but that's just sort of a typical a typical example right okay so uh what relationships have you seen where the man leads in important areas the man has authority in important areas.
[1:31:04] Um my aunt and my uncle um, a lot of extended family although i don't know them very well i wouldn't i've had like i've a serve them from afar like very surface level.
[1:31:15] Stuff stuff where you'd know okay so your aunt your uncle in what area does your husband have authority and is the leader.
[1:31:21] Um being the bread winner uh.
[1:31:27] No that's having an obligation that's not having authority oh okay um it's hard to say Well, I have authority in giving money to my wife.
[1:31:41] Leadership. Oh, brother. Being in charge of home security, raising the son once he gets up to a certain age and teaching him how to be a man. Okay.
[1:32:00] That's authority not over his wife.
[1:32:03] Oh okay i i'm drawing a blank i'm drawing a blank right now okay.
[1:32:10] So if you don't know how to exercise male leadership then you have to take women as they are and the women as they are do not have anything to offer you except sex which you can take care of with pornography, So, if you say, well, I met this woman, she seems really nice, but, you know, she totally wants to just be a career woman, right?
[1:32:38] Yeah.
[1:32:39] Okay, well, then you might go out with her and you would lead her to being a wife and a mother. But I don't think you've seen women submit. Now, men submit all the time, right? Because we've got to get up and go to work. we got to pay the bills and so on, right? And so, where have you seen women submit?
[1:33:06] I don't think I have.
[1:33:08] Right. So, that's why you're not dating, is that you are inoculating yourself against lust with pornography. Not the wisest thing, but I understand the process, right? So, you're inoculating yourself against lust through pornography, and then you're trying to say, is there a woman out there because they've all got this hyper-feminist boss power don't need no man career shit right which is just a depopulation agenda right so so women are out there uh and they're they're told how to behave and what to think and a lot of them will follow that and it's true for a lot of men as well right women a little bit more but but men still pretty bad right so you don't know i think or you've not seen examples of how to lead a woman no and so because you're helpless with regards to women why would you want to be in a relationship where you don't have any leadership and you're helpless all you can do is like some janitor at a corporate corporate headquarters you can drop something in the suggestion box but that's about it.
[1:34:13] Yeah yeah Yeah. Um, yeah, my, uh, my mother was like the dominant force in the household growing up. And, uh, like my father would, uh, like they'd get into arguments and stuff, but like they, he, he would throw, he'd usually throw his hands up and give up and storm out and like go out to the garage and tinker with stuff to like get away with her.
[1:34:35] Well, he divorced her because he couldn't, he was allowed no leadership. He couldn't even say, don't beat my kids that hard.
[1:34:45] Yeah.
[1:34:48] Okay, so if you don't know how to be a leader to women, and I hate to have to put these caveats in, but I just obviously want, I'm not saying the man is in charge, the man is the final authority, the man is the boss and dominant. I'm not saying anything like that. Women has her areas of leadership and men have his areas of leadership.
[1:35:10] Yeah.
[1:35:11] And if the man, like, here's a typical example, right? So most men, not all, but most men live pretty lean, right? You know, they can live on a secondhand futon and put their TV on the box it came on, right? So most men live pretty lean and don't pretty up the place much. Yeah uh when you get married your wife you know if she's reasonably feminine your wife is going to be like no i want i want the place to be nice right right we need more than one stiff towel you got that you found on the beach four years ago right yeah so we the woman pretty things up but it's really nice like i say sort of make the joke i live in girly world and it's a beautiful place and it's really nice and and all of that my towels actually fold it's really they bend it's cool so so that's what women bring to the table is they they beautify your environment they beautify your space and it's really nice it's really nice lovely.
[1:36:21] And and and i don't i don't fight my wife on that if she says we need x y and z i'm like yeah let's do it now i often won't go and pick things out because i don't really have any opinions, okay so you know we have our dinner parties but apparently we need like really nice dinner party stuff right now of course when i was a kid you know you just or a teenager right we'd we just eat pizza off the napkins on our laps right so i mean you know that you know i get kind of stuck there or whatever right but yeah we need a really nice table we really rise chairs and right all that kind of stuff right so i'm like yeah okay yep go for it um i'm down with that because she has authority there, right?
[1:37:10] Yeah, yeah.
[1:37:11] And then there are areas where, you know, like I need this or that technical thing. I need a microphone or whatever. She's like, but don't you already have it? She doesn't say like, don't you already have it? She's like, go for it, right? If it's what you need, it's what you need. So in terms of authority, where are men in charge? It's a big question. Now, women have been taught that all male authority is a patriarchal dictatorship.
[1:37:49] Yeah. And that being home, raising children is like being a brood mayor and, you know, and you're oh you're just a housewife yeah like being a middle manager in a customer service department is all kinds of world enhancing glory right so but but women you know they still have their instincts and and so on right and this is all the way back to the story of the garden of even that even right that the society is corrupted through silky words to women right that the the, snake, the serpent, Satan, knew better than to approach Adam, right? So he approached Eve and he played on her vanity, right? And then Adam ate the fruit because who can refuse food from a naked woman? It just doesn't happen, right? So she was undone by vanity and he was undone by deference to the female, right? So when it comes to dating.
[1:38:56] Women want to be led, but you better not show any fear. Now, how do I know that women want to be led? Well, 150 million women bought Fifty Shades of Grey, which was about a hyper-dominant man.
[1:39:20] Right they didn't buy a book where a woman had a squishy affair with a male feminist, yeah men want to be led in that it beautifies her environment and women want to be led, in other areas. And for a male to submit to a woman is a beautiful thing. For a woman to submit to a man is a beautiful thing. And so, yeah, we know. I haven't seen the movie, but there's some movie with Nicole Kidman called Baby Girl, where this executive boss babe ends up being bossed around herself by some junior intern who shows no fear. This male, right? And this is just the eternal fantasy and do i mean and the fact that women i mean if you if you look up the most prevalent female sexual fantasies it will blow your mind like it's it's it's like that's like really it's the ultimate red pill so i won't go through the list here but everyone can go and look up the most prevalent female sexual fantasies and tell me that women don't have any preference for a dominant male, right? I mean, all of the Harlequin romances, I read a couple when I was younger, just trying to understand female nature, God help me. But, you know, the Harlequin romances are about, you know, cold, contemptuous, patriarchal, dominant men, right?
[1:40:48] And the women end up taming those men with the power of their beauty and whatever it is, right? Sex. So, yeah, I mean, deep down, women want to be led in certain areas. They want to have their own authority in certain areas, they want to be led in certain areas. That's the division of labor that has gotten us to the top of the food chain, and it's a good thing. So, tapping into female nature and bypassing the propaganda is an important challenge. Right, so, you know, the typical story of sort of medieval chivalry is that there's a woman who's been captured by a dragon, and the knight has to go and rescue the woman from the dragon, right? So this is rescuing women from propaganda.
[1:41:40] Propaganda is mostly going to target women in particular with the sort of modern state where it's all female teachers from for the most part until you get older and it's women in charge of the teachers unions and women in charge of the department of education and you know women women women everywhere so there's going to be a lot of female but propaganda largely targets women right, because i was like oh covid yeah okay looks like a bad flu or whatever right but women are like we're all going to die these women have more of a heightened um a fear response which again evolutionarily speaking makes sense it's not a criticism it's just an observation so, to rescue a woman from propaganda is the task of an assertive male, and the task of the assertive female is to rescue a man from isolation because we can be appallingly self-sufficient right oh.
[1:42:38] Yeah oh yeah.
[1:42:38] I mean we can be appallingly self-sufficient uh i mean men who live alone, do go crazy over time but it's a lot slower than women who live alone, also women who are single uh they don't get um vaginal sex and vaginal sex the male sperm creates, like has within it um male semen sorry male semen has antidepressants and all this kind of stuff right to yeah all of that so you know the care and stuff we kind of understand where a lot of that that comes from and so on right so i mean we need each other men and women need each other you need a woman to help cure you from isolation and self-sufficiency and you need to cure a woman from propaganda and and so on right but i mean women's literary and movie tastes not to mention and Luigi Mangione, are all cries for help to be liberated from boss babe, inverted male-female propaganda.
[1:43:40] Huh. That's interesting.
[1:43:48] So, the funny thing is, is that, I mean, you were talking about the girlfriend when you were 17 and she was 18. She was just propagandized, right? Okay. So why don't you take any leader? I mean, does it, does it help or work if you take leadership when you're at your job?
[1:44:09] Yeah.
[1:44:10] Right. So it helps and works if you take leadership in a relationship.
[1:44:18] So, why can't you take leadership in a relationship? I mean, which is another way of saying, why do you think that any particular person's thoughts are actually their own? This is really the foundation. We're right at the base of philosophy here, which is people say a bunch of stuff. But how do you know that anybody's statements are thoughts of their own? I mean, when you start talking to people about any important subject that you know something about, like if I talk to people about epistemology or ethics or, I don't know, even the history of the Ukraine-Russia conflict, right? People don't know anything all they're doing is repeating a script that they have that has been plugged into their heads, yeah and so when a woman states her preferences or a man states his preferences but we just focus on women here when a woman says you know i don't need no man i want to be a boss babe and so on, like, why would you take any of that in particular seriously? I mean, she's just repeating the propaganda, and we all do that.
[1:45:45] But we are here to lead people to wisdom. And we do that by not taking very seriously the propaganda they're repeating.
[1:45:55] Right. Hmm.
[1:46:00] I mean, you can smile and nod. Oh, it's interesting, right? Yeah. Well, tell me more, right? Oh, okay. Cool. Cool. Right. And just listen. But when I meet people and they tell me, I mean, my gosh, particularly when they talk about politics, right? When I meet people and they talk about politics, they have no clue what they're talking about. They're not even the tiniest clue. I mean, people who are talking about Ukraine don't even know that there are native Russian speakers in the eastern part of Ukraine that have been shelled for years and bombed for years. They don't know about the bioweapons labs in Ukraine. They don't know about the 2014 color revolution. They don't know anything. And they think that Ukraine is free. And I say, well, what specific freedoms does Ukraine have, particularly in a state of war that you envy or that you think are very popular. Like, they don't know. They're just mouthing slogans.
[1:47:01] Yeah.
[1:47:04] I mean, it's like memorizing a phrase in a foreign language. Like, I have a friend. We're still friends. We're roommates in college. And he learned in, I think, 17 or 18 different languages, bring me a beer, my friend will pay. Now, of course, he didn't know these languages. he just memorized a phrase that was funny. So, we gently lead people out of propaganda. And this is sort of what I was doing earlier in the conversation when I was talking with you about the language that you were using to describe your life. Is it factual or is it propaganda?
[1:47:52] Right.
[1:47:56] So you meet a woman and i'm just going to talk about women here although this applies fairly equally to men so you meet a woman and she says all of this stuff about you know empowerment boss babe patriarchy whatever it is right and you were probably like you know that's gross right what did you refer to your um 18 year old girlfriend as a shit lip if i remember rightly right yeah okay she's 18 years old what does she know about anything she's just repeating slogans, right so so if if a child has been taught badly and a child uses swear words for common objects, do we get mad at the child and highly offended and punish him no no i mean this is an 18 year old girl what does she know about anything what intellectual independence or freedom does she have.
[1:48:54] Right i mean you're still believing propaganda about your father and you're 26, oh my father couldn't afford good food that's propaganda yeah and so we all have this for sure i find myself i mean i'm pretty old now and i find myself still sliding into good guy bad guy right well this in this conflict this person is a good person and this person is about like it's just grooves worn in our brain because propaganda is so powerful and so effective right.
[1:49:30] So when you meet someone they are programmed with a set piece of regurgitable phrases, that they say without knowing that they don't actually know anything or have any thoughts of their own. And this is a problem as old as humanity. Socrates was fighting all of this 2,500 years ago. So people would say, well, I know what justice is. Oh, interesting. Okay, what's your definition of justice? Well, hang on. This doesn't make sense with that. Like he would just, people would just say stuff, right?
[1:50:05] Mm-hmm.
[1:50:07] Do you worship the gods because the gods are good or because the gods are powerful? Well, if you worship the gods because gods are good, then they must be good by some external standard. So you should probably just respect that standard rather than worship the gods. If you worship the gods just because they're gods without reference to any external standard of virtue, then you're just worshiping them because they're powerful. So it's not good. It's just power, right? So these are all just interesting questions that philosophers have been asking. How do you know what you know is true?
[1:50:37] Right? So when you meet people, they are lost in the matrix. They're lost in a maze of language. And you can exercise some mild leadership to try and see if they're interested in any of the contradictions, right? I don't know if you've seen the video of this guy. He's a very sort of calm teacher. And some guy was like, oh, J.K. Rowling is a transphobe, right? And he's like, oh, what did she say? And blah, blah, blah. And they go through the statement and then the guy finds out that according to a reasonable definition, J.K. Rowling is not in fact a transphobe and so on, right? Right so this gentle leadership thing is important in life because otherwise you're helpless and otherwise you're just going to have to find someone who exactly matches your expectations and likes you and you find them attractive and they're the right age you're just then you're just playing you're as helpless as a guy playing the lottery.
[1:51:49] So, you know, some woman's talking about the patriarchy and you're like, well, yeah, I mean, that's interesting. I've certainly heard the same thing and I understand the arguments and I appreciate some of the arguments, but it does seem a bit odd to me that, like, why would men design a system where men, only men get drafted for wars? Why would men design a system where we live, you know, five to seven years less long than women? Why would men decide a system where the only person who could be thrown in jail for debt is a male usually for not paying child support? Why would men design a system where we pay double into the tax system and women in general take out double from the tax system? That's, you know, that doesn't seem very patriarchal and, you know, maybe there's arguments against it. But from a man's perspective, like, why would we design a system where men are discriminated against at work in favor of women? Like, if we have all of this power, wouldn't we just make society serve men? If there's all this patriarchy, why is it that, you know, breast cancer awareness is like 20 times more than prostate cancer awareness? Like, that doesn't seem very patriarchal. And so you just ask these questions, right? Right now if the woman is like wow and that's interesting i i don't agree with you but i can tell like okay then then that's interesting right you can have a conversation.
[1:53:11] But if she's just like oh that's exactly what a toxic patriarch would say it's like okay well then move on right so in terms of just leadership just ask some questions and see if the woman, notices contradictions and is interested in exploring them because that's what philosophy is is noticing contradictions and being interested in exploring them you know we're constantly told don't use force to get your way don't don't push hit steal right and yet everybody who wants a government program is arguing for the initiation of the use of force right that's a contradiction which is interesting to explore if men are in charge of society why is the male suicide rate so much higher than the women's why have schools why do boys do much less well in schools, these days why would men design a system where in some places you know 70 percent or more of the incoming freshmen in university are women, yeah right so so these are all just interesting questions now if she's like huh i never really thought of that that's interesting right then you found someone who notices contradictions and is interested in exploring them, but that's leadership you don't just take people as they are.
[1:54:35] You try to guide them and they will in turn guide you My wife has taught me as much as I've taught her.
[1:54:46] So, I think that you feel like, well, I don't want to do the sex thing because I did that before and it was kind of gross using a woman for sex. And it is, right?
[1:54:56] Yeah.
[1:54:57] So, I guess I'll go talk to women, but there isn't a woman who can offer me what I want. But that's like saying when you're just entering the workforce, well, there's no job where I can work from home that pays me $200,000 a year. It's like, well, you've got to work up to that.
[1:55:14] Yeah.
[1:55:14] Provide enough value and you can have that and you are trying to find a woman prefabricated, for exactly what you want which means you want her to be free of the propaganda okay but then you have to free yourself of the propaganda of the helpless male and accept your role of being a leader in certain areas. So men and women have different personality structures as a whole so that we can lead each other in better things. Women are better at managing the social circle, which is why a lot of men, when they get divorced, they lose all their social circle because it's all for the women. Women run that kind of stuff, right? And so that's great, which means we men, we focus on the work and the productivity and so on. And the women will focus usually on the social life and all that kind of stuff, which is very important for men in terms of our long-term health and happiness.
[1:56:16] So you have swallowed the propaganda that men are helpless with regards to women. Now, it's not just propaganda because it's what you also saw and directly experienced in a lot of the relationships or most of the relationships that you saw growing up. But our experience is also propaganda because it's self-selecting. So in other words, your parents were never going to be around functional people.
[1:56:45] Your friends who had healthier families and nicer homes, did they often enjoy having your parents over?
[1:56:53] No, maybe in large groups, but not. No, no.
[1:56:57] I mean, it should happen occasionally, but they didn't become friends, right?
[1:57:01] No, not really.
[1:57:02] Well, no, of course not, right? So the problem is our past is propaganda. So, if I were to judge people by the people around my crazy mother growing up, I would think the entire world was an asylum. Because sane people were not around my mother. Why would they be? They would hate to be around my mother. They would find it weird and alarming and upsetting, right?
[1:57:27] Yeah.
[1:57:27] So, the only people who were around my mother, you know, like my mother had a friend and she had some crazy boyfriend who held both her and my mother at gunpoint for an entire evening. Right? So if I were to judge the world by the people around my mother, that would be unfair. And it would be crazy of me to do that because my mother's craziness, self-selected people around her who were also crazy. There were no sane people around my mother, in other words, right?
[1:58:01] So our our childhoods are also propaganda because propaganda is taking a small subsection of people and saying that's everyone you know there's a small subsection of white racists all whites are racist there's a small subsection of whites who do better white privilege right, there's a small subsection of bossy dominant men all men are patriarchs right so it's just taking a small subsection and blowing it up to a universal.
[1:58:32] So our childhood is a small subsection of people that are self-selecting based upon the character of our parents, if you grew up with jr r tolkien and his wife as your parents you'd think everybody was literate and fun and brilliant and witty and you know what i mean yeah and then you'd go out into the world you'd probably be a little surprised. All of our childhood is propaganda because it's taking a tiny self-selecting slice of people who hung out with my parents and thinking that's the whole world.
[1:59:07] Right, right.
[1:59:09] And so you're saying, I want a woman who's free of propaganda, but you're not free of propaganda. And neither am I, right? It's a fairly constant battle because it keeps trying to get re-inflicted on us every time we turn on the TV or even look on social media is propaganda from both sides or more than both sides right so the way out of propaganda is to accept the truth and to communicate the truth and to point out contradictions to people because propaganda inevitably results in contradictions so you know i mean the old oh there's a wage gap right women are paid much less it's like well why doesn't everyone just hire women and make a killing right i mean these are like pretty obvious and basic questions but you know for a lot of people it's kind of new right so that is what you need to do is you meet a woman listen to her don't take her too seriously just as you wouldn't take a man too seriously who hadn't really thought about anything oh that's interesting i see where you're coming from that's interesting um i guess i have a question about this or whatever it is right.
[2:00:18] Okay.
[2:00:19] And I mean, this happens for me. I mean, I, I'm engaged in sports and other activities where I meet new people. And of course, a lot of times talk will drift to politics, right? And people will say, oh, Trump, he's such a buffoon, right? I'm like, oh, that's interesting. Tell me what you mean. Well, he does this, he does that, he does the other and so on. It's like, yeah, no, that's interesting. Oh, and he called Nazis very fine people. And he did like, actually, well, no, that's, that's technically, that's not true. Right? Like, I mean, does he have buffoonish elements i think i can see that i mean the guy has gold-plated toilets right i mean it's a little it's a little liberaci right so i i get that i understand that but, uh you know things that people say they're just not true and of course you'll find out that people are just repeating the slogans that have them accepted by their peers right there are these magic words right speak friend and enter right okay speak donald trump is bad orange man bad that you speak that and you enter, right? You get to, so all people are doing is signaling syllables that gain them access to their peer group. That's all. I mean, they're not thinking, they're not reasoning from first principles. They don't understand really anything. They're just saying stuff that gets approval noises from people around them. That's all.
[2:01:38] And so, you know, global warming is like, so CO2 is a pollutant? Because co2 is necessary for the survival of life on earth it's hard to see how that's a pollutant, right so it just just questions right right you know i mean oh they they say that there's going to be a three percent three degree temperature rise in a hundred years right and it's like oh okay well the models have they been correct in the past right no so if they haven't been correct over the last 40 years of working with this stuff, why would you expect them to be correct? It's like somebody who has a stock model that has completely failed to pick any winning stocks for the last 40 years, but they're telling you they can pick great stocks in 100 years. Like, that just wouldn't make much sense. So, you're just asking questions. And if people are like, you know, I actually never really thought of that before or whatever. Okay, cool. Then you can have an interesting conversation and so on, right? But people are just like, well, you're just an apologist for Putin. Whatever. Nonsense, right? So, yeah. I mean, if it's like, well, we're supposed to hate Russia. It's like, well...
[2:02:43] The West actually supplied food and arms to Russia when it was a communist dictatorship. So why, I mean, we can have our criticisms of Russia, of course, like all status societies, but it's not a murderous, kill 70 million people communist dictatorship that's working to destabilize countries all over the world and causing endless wars. Right so so why why is it that we would have a more negative, opinion of russia when it's not a communist dictatorship well putin's a dictator he he he puts people in jail for social media posts okay well if that's if that's your definition of dictatorship then european countries are also dictatorships because they do that a lot and England has done it far more than Russia has. So, again, these are just questions to ask people. And some people will be like, oh, interesting. Yeah, no, I guess that's a decent point. And other people will just be like, oh, you just want to have sex with Putin. Whatever nonsense people say, right? Yeah. So... But you've got to be a leader and you've got to contradict people.
[2:03:56] Okay.
[2:03:57] And your social anxiety has to do with a fear of being bullied if you tell the truth. And that's actually a very real fear. That's a very real fear, right? Because people do get kind of hysterical when their moral vanity is punctured. And they're, I mean, this is what they killed Jesus Socrates and tried to kill Plato and Aristotle and Galileo and so on, right?
[2:04:16] So if you arouse the rage of the ego-violated mob, ego-punctured mob, they can become dangerous. Now, of course, most you'll just get weird looks and snarls and sneers and some disapproval and so on, right? And people would just sort of radiate this. Bill Maher does this like perfectly when there's some perspective he doesn't like. He just sort of radiates this scorn and disapproval. And I guess it works on a bunch of people, but it's not so much social anxiety. It's just that if you happen to be in possession of intellectual curiosity and facts not pumped by the mainstream, then you're in danger. You're in danger of not, you know, being beaten up necessarily, of course, right? But you're in danger of significant disapproval and maybe emotional attacks or reputational attacks or whatever it is, right? So it's not social anxiety if you fall into the lion's den and you're covered in a one source or something right so that's not that's not like oh i have this weird lion anxiety it's like well no they're they're actually quite dangerous so it's not anxiety so i would say it's not social anxiety it's just that you're in possession of the truth you don't know how to lead people to the truth and you don't know how to lead women to a better truth and so you're looking for some prefab woman that is not going to exist.
[2:05:37] Right right yeah.
[2:05:42] So if you go out and you say yeah i'm i'm going out and i am i am interviewing women for the position of girlfriend i'm auditioning women for the lead role in the movie called me, well you're you're seeing i mean when you audition people as a i've been a director and you audition people what you're doing is you're saying can you do the job like can you act well can you right you auditioning people for a musical can you sing well dance well whatever right so you're just auditioning and so you're out there and you're trying to find a girl, a woman that you can lead to reason and she can lead you to reason and all of that so you submit to her good arguments she submits to your good arguments, and you're looking for a woman who can bring that to you and if you're just looking for That's just, I mean, obviously it's a hole with no bottom. I mean, to use an obvious analogy, but if you go out there and you say, oh, I'd love to chat with women and I'd love to see if they're intelligent enough to be curious or if they're honorable and mature enough to admit when they don't know something or when an argument comes across their desk that contradicts their perspective. Will they admit it? Can they be honest? Do they have intellectual humility? Do they have integrity? Are they virtuous?
[2:06:59] Yeah.
[2:06:59] Right?
[2:06:59] Yeah.
[2:07:00] And so, yeah, you're just out there talking about that, and you're going to make them laugh and so on. But at some point, you know, drop something that might be a little surprising to them. Or if they say something that's not true, you can say, well, I don't quite see it that way. And maybe you're right, but let me sort of tell you the way that it is. And obviously, we're not dating, but it's kind of like I'm trying to lead you to a particular kind of truth here. And I think I've done it in a way that's not provocative or aggressive or hostile or anything like that so just trying to try and trying to be a leader so in this conversation i'm obviously trying to be a kind of leader and to to your benefit and so, with women you can try and be a kind of leader for their benefit because you're rescuing women from the dragon because if women if men let women continue to persist in their delusions the women are going to be absolutely miserable and society is going to end right i mean it really is the stakes couldn't be higher right women are going to be miserable and society is going to end because there won't be any kids uh so so it actually is a it's it's the war it's the war that men have to fight and it's a drag but you know it's also a great opportunity for glory so anyway sorry that's a fairly long speech but i hope that makes some kind of sense.
[2:08:10] No no it makes that makes perfect sense, yeah i uh i never thought about it that way um Um...
[2:08:30] And does that give you sort of a path forward about what to talk about with women and how to talk to them? And you're probably looking for one woman out of 20 at best, one woman out of 10.
[2:08:42] Yeah. Yeah, that's very helpful because I would game it out in my head and I would picture a scenario like that where she says something that doesn't really make a lot of sense where I could be curious about. I could, I could ask her, uh, oh brother, I can't, I can't even speak right now, but, um, like I would say something that would contradict her, you know, what, what's been inputted into her. And I'd be like afraid that she would, uh, you know, I'd, I'd be afraid of like a bad outcome or something or being rejected or, or, or whatever.
[2:09:24] But, um, no, you're afraid that she'd be your mom.
[2:09:27] Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[2:09:28] But that's unfair.
[2:09:29] Just growing up. Yeah.
[2:09:31] But that's propaganda too, because then you're judging women, all women, by your crazy, psycho, sadistic mother. That's not fair. Your mother's just one woman out of billions, and you can't judge all women by the standard of your mother. Because then what you're doing is you're saying to women, well, I'm going to treat you as if you're abusive. Hey, how come you don't want to go out with me?
[2:09:59] Yeah.
[2:10:06] I mean if you've ever been around women who've had abusive relationships it can be frustrating because a lot of times not always but a lot of times they would treat you as if you're their abusive boyfriend or ex-husband or whatever right you'll disagree with them and they get all tense and jumpy and i understand the hard wiring i get all of that but it is fundamentally unfair, to judge new people by the standards of historical abusers yeah.
[2:10:32] That's true like i was talking to a young woman at work the other day and um she was talking about a negative experience she had with with an ex-boyfriend and then she was like universalizing that out to like all men well if boys do x y and z then you know forget about them and and uh.
[2:10:51] Well and that's fair and you can say well i've had some negative experiences with women but it wouldn't be particularly fair to, put that on all women right i mean yeah there's good women there's bad women and we wouldn't want to say well i had a woman who cheated on me therefore all women are cheaters and whores right that would be that would be unfair and i'm sure she would agree with that and and so on right so you're given the chance to rescue people and you're just you're just like walking past all these people who are drowning and see a propaganda and saying nope not helping nope not helping nope not helping because one guy someone you tried one time someone you tried to help broke your nose accidentally with his elbow or something right yeah well then you know now you know philosophy like you're a lifeguard and people are drowning everywhere sorry that's just the gig man, you're in possession of sane pills and people are in you're in an asylum, and you have a responsibility now to try and help people out of error.
[2:11:53] Okay that's the price of wisdom is you got to help people i mean and you're helping yourself because again if we don't fix this problem we don't have a society like we go back to living in caves or whatever right or or we all die from thermonuclear radiation right i mean the people who are trying to get Europe involved in the war in Ukraine, it's like a death wish, right? Because this could escalate to World War III and we could all die. So, trust me, like, the difficulties of helping people is far less than the results of not helping people.
[2:12:33] Yeah, yeah, right. Um i never thought about it that way i uh i know i'm not really uh i don't really have a lot to say right now i mean you're having to do a lot of heavy lifting but i uh i just i i never thought about it that way i really uh wow i feel like i don't really get this little mental cage and somebody has opened the door and i'm running into this wide open field and it's just it's it's a lot to take in.
[2:13:00] No, it is. And, and I, you know, I, I don't really get too offended by people who just say outrageously false things. I mean, occasionally it gets under my skin, but, you know, what was it? There was a live stream the other day where somebody was like, well, you know, you're.
[2:13:20] You're, what was the word he used? Like you're hyper feminine because you were raised without a father. And it's like, eh, I mean, it's not really particularly offensive to me. I mean, I actually think I'm probably more masculine than most, but effeminate. Yeah, sorry. That was the word. He's like, see, I'm so masculine. I couldn't even remember the word effeminate. Or you know just the trolls who come by and and sort of say these these silly things it's really not offensive um it's just uh i mean they're just they're doing their programming and it's kind of amusing in a way because they think they're being all kinds of powerful and they're just like it's like a toddler punching you when you're in a full suit of armor it's like oh that's cute yeah.
[2:14:01] But of course being hyper reactive is more effeminate than reasoning through things but anyway. I mean, so it's not particularly offensive. People just, they just say stuff and they don't understand things. And, you know, God help you if you know the IQ argument, then just everybody, even mainstream political commentators just look completely retarded because they just don't understand the mechanics of the world. So it's kind of like, you know, if you're the first five people to figure out the world is a sphere, then everybody's talking about the flat earth and the world being flat and so on. Oh, you just got to lead them to the truth, right? Or not if they're hugely resistant because, you know, life is short. You've got to scrounge your efforts. Like, you don't try and give rehab to people who kick you in the face, right? It's like, well, okay, good luck with your injury, but I'm not going to help. So, yeah, I think if you take that perspective, then you have some leadership and authority in the world. And you would be absolutely shocked at if you do this sort of gentle kind of leadership, point out contradictions. Yeah, some women are going to carry you up or whatever, like who cares, right? But you'd be amazed at the number of women who get completely fascinated by that.
[2:15:04] Okay all.
[2:15:08] Right brother good old chat i appreciate your time today is there anything else you wanted to mention or are you going to go mull this over.
[2:15:15] I'm going to go mull this over i i have a lot to think about this is, this is brand new to me and i uh wow i i i really uh i don't even know what to say all right no.
[2:15:30] Problem at all i appreciate that um and so yeah keep me posted about how things are going and if there's anything else i can do to help just let me know.
[2:15:36] Okay well i uh i hope i can write you back in the near future and uh and and you know tell you i have a girlfriend and things are going great and uh yeah yeah i'll keep you posted um thank you very much for your time and generosity you're.
[2:15:50] Very welcome it's a great chat i really do appreciate that and i wish you the very best.
[2:15:53] All righty have a nice day.
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