0:03 - Podcast Kickoff
4:50 - Church Curiosity
5:49 - Bureaucratic Bullshit
7:21 - Dispute Dynamics
11:17 - Gender Expectations
17:31 - The Concept of "The Ick"
28:16 - Celebrity Scandals
33:18 - Feminism and Foot Fetishes
42:19 - Parenting Perspectives
46:13 - Dating Market Dynamics
53:09 - The Modern Dating Scene
58:26 - The Importance of Leadership
1:02:58 - Single Parenting Choices
1:08:44 - The Value of Criticism
1:12:40 - Navigating Relationships
1:19:29 - The Loss of Competition
1:30:29 - The Essence of Philosophy
1:31:34 - Closing Reflections
In this episode, I delve into a myriad of topics ranging from personal reflections on feedback to social dynamics in dating and interactions. I begin by expressing my thoughts on the nature of disagreement within the support community, where I often receive emails from donors who equate financial support with an expectation of agreement. I stress the importance of honesty over monetary ties, illustrating how it's essential to maintain integrity in discussions regardless of donation status. I argue that expecting a differing perspective to be obfuscated by the act of donation undermines the truth-telling role I strive to uphold.
As we navigate through the complexities of relationships, particularly in the dating scene, I outline the discrepancies between expectations and reality. Drawing from my own experiences and examples from one listener's first date scenario, I analyze social etiquette related to spending on dates. This leads me into a broader discourse on how societal norms dictate behaviors and expectations around interactions between genders, examining how perceived hypocrisy can taint authentic connections. The concept of "the ick" arises as a focal point for examining attraction; I argue that genuine connection transcends superficial preferences or behaviors that one might find off-putting if there is a deeper underlying attraction.
Listening to listeners' questions, I emphasize the critical need for men to project confidence and authenticity when relating to women. I highlight why it's crucial that men do not place undue power in women’s hands, as this can lead to an unbalanced dynamic. My stance firmly embraces the idea that vulnerability combined with strength presents a compelling image that is attractive to women. I assert that successful dating often hinges on being assertively engaging rather than relinquishing power in interactions.
We explore deeper philosophical questions surrounding the nature of relationships, particularly focusing on modern dating influences stemming from societal pressures and cultural shifts. I reflect on how the current dating market is impacted by economic and social factors, ultimately concluding that as external incentives shift, so too will personal choices about relationships and commitments.
In the broader context of societal change, I challenge the failures of modern philosophies that fail individuals, demanding a return to personal responsibility and leadership within relationships. I encourage conversations around truths that may challenge prevailing social narratives and stress the importance of clear communication in any partnership.
Drawing on various listener comments, I examine the potential barriers to forming healthy romantic connections, advocating for a well-rounded personal development path as a way to navigate modern dating effectively. Conclusively, I invite listeners to engage more thoughtfully in discussions of love, attraction, and genuine human connection, rooting for a movement away from passive acceptance into active engagement and reflection on relationship practices. As we wrap up the episode, I look forward to the ongoing conversation about evolving social dynamics and how we can all foster meaningful ties.
[0:00] Well, good morning. Good morning, everybody. Hope you're doing well.
[0:04] If you didn't join the pre-show, you missed my Michael Jackson impression. I may have missed my Michael Jackson impression too, but it certainly is possible to do all of that. And I really do appreciate your support, freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. I am here to chat with you next week. Next week, I'm going to do the show in the afternoon because I'm going to church. I'm going to church check me to church all right so that's going to be going on so we'll do maybe 2 p.m next week but i hope you're having a great day i'm eager thrilled and happy to.
[0:43] Have your um questions and comments issues challenges problems criticisms and so on it was interesting i just had a tldr this morning so i did a show yesterday on telegram where I tried to help a guy who said he was being bullied. And I just got the, you know, you get those walls of emails. It's kind of dysfunctional feminine, you know, these walls of emails of, here's all the lists in which I was disappointed. Oh, and I've also donated. It's funny how, you know, when I disagree with people, they, well, Christianity, of course, right? So, and when I disagree with people, it's funny how they say, well, I've been a donor for a long time, right? If I criticize someone and people say, well, I've been a donor for a long time. I find that weird and creepy, honestly. Well, Stef, you shouldn't disagree with me. You shouldn't criticize me because I'm a donor. I've donated money to you. How dare you disagree with me or criticize me? It was, yeah, the wall of text was posted and, And it is wild.
[1:53] It's wild to me how people, look, obviously I'm not perfect. I can get things wrong, but I'm pretty good at what I do. I've been doing this sort of self-knowledge conversational stuff now for over 40 years and 20 years of it publicly. There are thousands of conversations where I've helped people in foundational ways, right? So I'm really good at this. I help people. I've, you know, I've helped obviously tens of millions of people around the world, thousands of people in shows directly, change people's lives. I get emails all the time. And then if a conversation goes south apparently it's all my fault.
[2:26] People are like well i'm just disappointed and i'm a donor and it's like i'm not sure how disappointment is an argument and the strange thing to me is thank you david the strange thing for me is when people say like i'm a donor therefore you shouldn't tell me the truth, I mean people donate for me to tell the truth or at least as I see it and make the case why people donate for me so then if I have a conflict with someone and they say well I'm disappointed and I've donated a lot of money and it's like listen if you think that donating money to me, is going to have me not tell you the truth as I see it please stop donating money to me you know I'm asking for donations but at the same time I don't want, people to donate to me if they think that buys my integrity, like they then own my integrity and my truth-telling, that's not, like, don't bring up that you've donated to me if we've had a disagreement. That's not, that's not good. That's not, I mean, that's not good. Right? I mean, that literally is like saying to a woman, you owe me sex because I bought you dinner. Right? That's gross. That's gross.
[3:46] That's gross. Don't bring up money in that situation. And there is, of course, a kind of implicit thing, which is like, well, if you disagree with me and you tell me the truth as you see it, and then I'm going to stop donating to you, it's like, then don't donate to me. Because also like i don't want people being big fans of the show if they don't listen to feedback, because they're going to be both annoying and fans of this show i really don't want it's not good marketing for me it's not good marketing for me and uh yeah it's wild it's wild, Stef's an expert i did nothing wrong and look just because i'm an expert doesn't mean i do everything right but it just is amazing to me these sort of labored self-justifications and someone, but that was kind of, uh, that was kind of predictable, I suppose, based on the conversation, but a very interesting conversation. What made you decide to go to church?
[4:50] I like a lot of Christians. I'm curious. And, uh, I've been to church a couple of times recently.
[5:04] Take me to church. I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. Man, I still don't have any singing voice back. It's been a week. All right. So, yes, good questions and comments while I'm waiting for those to kick in. So the Department of Government Efficiency is asking some government employees, what did you do last week? Please reply to this email with approximately five bullets of what you accomplished last week and CC your manager. Please do not send any classified information, links or attachments. Its deadline is this Monday at 11.59 p.m. Eastern Standard. Now, the rumor is, I don't know if this is true or not, but the rumor is that people who don't answer this will get fired.
[5:49] Isn't that interesting? I mean, this is common in the free market, in the remnants of the free market and in the private sector. I mean, this is just common, right? This is just this is common you what did you do performance reviews and so on right, it's crazy but apparently this is just appalling and of course there's two two right so so one type of people are going to be these bureaucratic endless typists who are not going to have any problem answering this email with a bunch of made-up bullshit but i also assume that musk and company are pretty good at uh are pretty good at uh noticing this kind of Bullshit, son.
[6:42] Let's see here. A very small criticism. If they bring up that they've donated, they're establishing that they have some skin in the game, not necessarily that you should agree with them.
[6:53] I don't know what that means. I have like, they have some skin in the game. So if you take a woman out for dinner and pay for dinner and you say, you should sleep with me. And she says, no. And you say, but I paid for dinner. What are you saying? You have some skin of the game. Don't bring up money in disagreements with people. I mean, that's like my daughter disagrees with me. I'm like, Hey man, I buy your food. Well, I'm just saying I have skin of the game. Don't bring up money in disputes.
[7:21] Oh, crazy. Just don't do it. Don't bring up money in disputes. It's like, uh, uh, you know, you disagree with your grandmother and she's like, well, I'm taking you out of the will. Well, I'm just showing you I have skin of the game. It's like, nope, just don't bring up money in disputes. Don't bring up money in disputes. All right. This is interesting. Tell me what you think of this. This guy wrote, took a girl out for dinner, first date. Everything was going well until she said, I don't sleep with someone on the first night because I don't want the relationship to be based on sex. Respectable. Then the bill came $200. I only ordered $40 worth of appetizers and a drink. The rest, hers. I covered my portion and the tip and told her, I don't pay the full bill on the first day because I don't want the relationship to be based on money, my money. She stormed out, blocked me. Double standards are crazy.
[8:15] Double standards are crazy. What do you think? I mean, for me, I mean, I, with my wife, I would pay for something. I hate the sort of, this ain't a little bill splitting. I'll do anything to avoid that. I'll like live under a bridge rather than split a bill. Well, who had the cheesecake? Well, you had a coffee, but you had a drink. It's like, oh my God. Oh my God. I remember in Poland, somebody invited me out for dinner and then they invited their whole family. And then I ended up having to pay the bill and it was crazy expensive. And it's like, I'll just eat, I'll just eat that. I'll eat that. I'm not going to sit there and go, okay, there was 16 people at dinner. Okay. You paid for this. You paid for that. Give me this. I don't have change. Like I'll, I, I, I just can't, I, I, I, that's like a fate worse than death for me. I like, uh, I'll, I'll pay the bill and, and sleep on, on the sidewalk. Uh, I just, I can't, I can't do it. So with my wife, what I did was I'd pay, I'd pay for a bill, uh, and you know, no expectation of anything. And then she would pay the bill next time. I mean, she would offer and like, fine.
[9:28] So I have no, I have no problem with that. And of course, you know, the money shouldn't be, it shouldn't be about sex, right? Of course, right. You're not buying sex when you take a woman out for dinner. But if she doesn't offer to pay, I ended relationships, budding relationships, because I would pay for the first date, maybe the second, if we were doing something cheap. And then if she hadn't offered to pay for anything by the third date, I'm like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
[9:57] I think paying the full bill is courtesy, especially on a first date. If it doesn't work out, just keep your composure and keep it moving. Well, certainly, if I would never pay for a first date with a woman who complained about the patriarchy or was a feminist.
[10:15] I, um, I hold people to their beliefs. It's really, really important in life. You have to hold people to their beliefs. So if a woman says she's a feminist or talks about the patriarchy or whatever it is, she says she's a feminist. She believes, I said, you believe in equal rights. I believe in equal rights. It's okay. Then we'll split the bill because I just don't want to be with a manipulative hypocrite, obviously. Right. So the best thing to do is to write to, to I'm an equal, strong, powerful woman. Okay. Well you can get home on your own. I'm not going to drop you off because you're a strong, powerful woman. I'm not going to walk you to your door. A strong, powerful woman. So if people say, these are my beliefs, I'll hold them to their beliefs. Now, if they say, if they say, Ooh, you know what? Actually, like a really honest woman might say, well, I'm a feminist being to equality. And it's like, Ooh, but you know what? I actually don't want to pay this bill. Isn't that interesting? And that is interesting, right? That's a great conversation. I just, I know I just said, I believe in equality, but now I feel resentment, that you're not paying for the whole bill. Isn't that, that seems a little, that's an odd thing. It seems a little hypocritical.
[11:17] What a great conversation. You could have a whole evening conversation about that. And I would not have any problem continuing to date someone who noticed that.
[11:33] So if a woman says, I'm a strong, independent woman, but I really want you to drive me home, or walk me to my door. It's like, you know, and that seems like interesting. What a great conversation, right? We all wrestle with these are my beliefs, but sometimes manifesting them is a real challenge. We all have that challenge. So it's a very interesting human conversation. This is what I believe, but there's a contradiction, right? Right? But if you are a woman and you say, I believe in equality, and then you want the man to pay for the date, and then you just get mad when he doesn't, it's just like, okay, this is a manipulative hypocrite, right? And if the woman doesn't have any money, she can just offer to make you a meal or whatever it is, that's fine, right?
[12:23] It sounds like he decided not to take on the full bill when she told him up front she wouldn't sleep with him that night. I can see why she may have gotten the ick from him. The ick. I mean, I hear about this kind of thing? What do you mean by the ick? What is the ick? Tell me what is the ick? I mean, I have an idea. I want to know how you're using it. Because Luigi Mangione, the guy who apparently or is accused of and seems to have murdered the health executive, the health CEO, health company CEO, women were lined up at the courthouse in the hallway hoping to catch a glimpse of him. So a straight up.
[13:11] Half crippled, half drug addicted in terms of painkillers, as far as I understand it, murderer is not giving women the ick. So what on earth are you talking about with the ick? What is the ick? The ick sounds to me like manipulative. It's just a control mechanism. And I'm sure you've seen these lists, you know, women saying, oh, this gives me the ick. And one guy has compiled like 345 icks, you know, well, if a guy does this and the guy doesn't do that, It's just jump through hoops shit, right? If the woman is attracted to you, she'll move heaven and earth to be with you. There's no such thing as an ick when there is desire.
[13:58] She was responsible for 80% of a $200 tap. Is that not icky? She was responsible for 80% of a $200 tab. I don't understand that. I don't understand that at all. She was responsible for paying what she ordered, for paying for what she ordered. I don't, I don't understand that. I mean, if I go and eat alone and it's $50. And I say, it's an ick. I'm responsible for a hundred percent of this bill. That's icky. Like, what does that even mean? She ordered some very expensive food and drink. She ordered on a first date, on a first date, she ordered $160 worth of food and drink. That's insane.
[14:54] That's a foodie call. I would never date a woman who ordered $160 worth. I mean, so many, many years ago, I picked up this woman and I met this woman and we went on a date. And I obviously won't tell you who she is, but she came from an extremely wealthy family and she wanted to eat at the top of Toronto. This is a restaurant up in the CN Tower. And I was broke. Gosh, what was I? Maybe 2021? I was broke. So she ordered a bunch of stuff. I, of course, ordered the cheapest thing I could find, said I wasn't hungry. I didn't have enough money to pay the bill. I had to leave my wallet. I had to come back later with the money, which I scrounged from friends to pay the bill to get my wallet back. It was bad. Now, she came from a wealthy family. I'm pretty sophisticated. And of course, some people who come from a wealthy family have no idea about money.
[15:55] Nice girl, liked her, but couldn't date her. I mean, I couldn't afford it. Couldn't afford it. And I wouldn't have. I mean, again, I wasn't holding her at fault. She was actually a very nice young lady, but just had no comprehension of money. So if I go on a date with a woman and she orders, let's say that this is in the US, right? So what do we have for a US versus Canadian, right? So let's say that's $160 US, right? I'm just trying to translate it to Snow Mexican dollars. So on a first date, she ordered $228 worth of food. That's insane.
[16:38] That's insane. Like that's a how dare you. That's insane. So, and then she says, I'm not going to sleep with you. Now, saying I'm not going to sleep with you, so the reason why that is to me extremely unattractive. If a woman orders $228 worth of food and then immediately says, I'm not going to sleep with you, it's like, I didn't suggest we sleep together. I haven't made any move that way. It's rude. It's rude. And it also tells me that she's been on enough dates with guys who think they're buying sex, which means she has really bad judgment in men.
[17:32] So she's been on enough dates with men who think that by paying for dinner, they're buying sexual access, and she has to kind of fight them off later, that she just has terrible taste in men.
[17:50] So she, so to me, this is all just, so like, understand, I mean, the ick is nonsense. The ick is just, she's not attracted enough, right? The ick is just, she's just not attracted enough, right? You've seen these social experiment videos, right? Where there's a super good looking guy, he puts his, his, his, um, his face on, on some social, some dating app, right? He puts his face, super good looking guy, some, he puts his, and he says, yeah, I was recently, I just got out of jail for domestic assault and women are all over him. Of course, not all, right? Not all, obviously, right? And so they don't care or they find it attractive or appealing, right? And then he says, um, I don't bathe and they're like, Ooh, spicy, right? So if he's attractive enough, women will crawl over broken glass to get to him. The ick is a form of manipulation to get resources from a man that the woman isn't foundationally attracted to.
[18:58] If the woman desires you enough, finds you sexy and attractive enough, she'll forgive just about anything. If she doesn't, yeah, she'll make you jump through hoops to get stuff from you, but there's no hoop you can jump through that will make a woman desire you. I mean, this is a Rolo Tomasi thing. You can't negotiate genuine desire. But I would not ever date a woman who claimed that she was sensitive to the ick. And it's like, okay, well, if you don't know what you want, right? If you don't know what you want to the point where you're willing to pursue it wholeheartedly, why would I want to date you?
[19:42] So um that's just i i honestly i'm i'm with the guy now i'm not with the guy insofar as you can i don't want the relationship to be about money i get all of that right.
[19:58] But I just wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't pay for that because she's now made it, well, I'm not going to have sex with you. It's like, who even brought that up? We're just trying to have a pleasant conversation and see if we like each other. I'm not going to sleep with you just because you bought me dinner. It's like, okay, well then I won't buy you dinner. I don't want this to be viewed as a transactional analysis, right? So i get that and it's just it's rude i mean look everybody knows that dating is about sex relationships marriage and children right people go on dates because they want to get together with someone have a boyfriend or girlfriend hopefully get married have kids you know that whole thing right and so this marriage is about sex foundationally it's about the regulation of sexual activity as i've mentioned before so there's no need to go through the argument again, so everybody knows that men are displaying resources by buying the date and are usually sexually interested in the woman even if they don't want to sleep with her that night there's sexual arousal and interest in the date you date people that you want to have sex with, and then you want to have sex hopefully for the rest of your life and that's your stable pair bonded foundation of the marriage.
[21:12] So naming these things it would be kind of like if you're in a job interview, and you say, you know, I'm not dying to work for the company, but I need a job. Is that true? Yeah, probably is true. Because if you were dying to work for the company, you'd do it for free or for very little or whatever, right? So, you know, that level of sort of brutal directness and honesty is rude. It's undiplomatic. It bruises the delicacies of life. You know, well, I don't really want to work here, but I kind of have to pretend that I do because I really need a job because I got bills, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
[21:53] Well, you won't get a job then, right? And if it's like, I'm not sleeping with you on the first date, it's like, that's not even like a, that's not even a conversation among civilized people because this is all understood, right? It's understood that you probably are not dying to work at a company and would do it for free. That's why they're paying you. And they're paying you because you don't want to do it, right? I mean, it wasn't like I loved being a waiter and I'd do it for free. I took money to be a waiter and I did, I made the best I could out of being a waiter, right? And it gave me actually a lot of customer service and conversational skills. I remember walking around at Pizza Hut, we had these green aprons with these pockets to keep all the change because this was back really before credit cards uh although post abacus and shaved coins but i remember i know all this change right in my and i would walk around it'd sound like a knight in chainmail, had a heavy step heavy step.
[22:57] So, yeah, you don't talk that frankly. There's a certain amount of just illusions, right? Or politeness or social skills that are important. You know, like it's sort of like when your kid does a drawing. And of course, it's a kid's drawing, right? So was it like a lollipop people with legs and some flat grass and a sun, right? And you don't sit there and say, you know, the perspective on this sucks. It's a combination of two-dimensional and three-dimensional. Where's the guy's torso? And nobody has arms that thin if they're not David Hogg. you don't sit there and say that oh it's a great drawing right there's a certain amount of just politeness and social lubrication that is needed so yes you know like when i was interested in a girl at the darn mills mall she worked in a record store late night record shop and i went up to chat with her um because she was really cute and my brother came up and ran his finger under my chin and said, wipe the drool off, Stef. Now, it's true that I found her attractive, but you don't do that, right? You have to keep a certain, it's called frisson in French, a certain amount of exciting friction and uncertainty, right? So you don't walk up to a girl and say, you're sexy, I'd like to have sex with you, but we have to get a coffee first, so let's do that. Like, that's just rude. Even though, like, if you kind of dig down, maybe that's certainly an element in it, right? It's certainly an element.
[24:25] Like in the same, there's a certain amount of just, you need to keep some of that mystery. I was honest, do you think? I get all of that. But, you know, if a woman says, you know, you seem to be very successful and I'm interested in providing for my babies, I mean, that's an element in that, but you don't talk about it. You don't talk about it. You let things develop of their own accord. This is why women have to say, well, you know, I mostly, I mean, I do make up for myself, right? Women can't say, I like to recreate an orgasm face because that makes men hot for me. Women don't say that. Like women have to say, this is just a comfortable top rather than I'm filming in portrait because I get to include my cleavage, right? You just, you don't say that. Like you just have to have a, a certain amount of mystery, a certain amount of exploration is important. And so this, uh, I'm not going to have sex with you on the first date. That's not even a topic. Well, I don't really want to work here, but I'll do it because the pay is good.
[25:46] This happens in, there was a place in Toronto, I can't remember what it was called, I think it was down at the beaches, where you could get a burger and everyone chanted, they all chanted, all the cooks chanted and all of that. And it was kind of fun, right? Now, of course, if you sat there and said, well, these people probably aren't thrilled to be flipping burgers on a hot beach or like in a restaurant on a hot beach, they'd rather be on the beach playing volleyball. So they're probably not super keen on doing all this chanting and stuff, but they do it because it's kind of fun. It's interesting. So you kind of have to ignore that stuff in order to have that kind of fun. Thank you, Brock. I appreciate that. So you kind of have to ignore that stuff. Like you get it, right? You got to have some uncertainty. You got to have some playfulness. You got it, right? You know, like if you make a woman laugh when you meet her, and then you say to her, well, I told that joke so I could make you laugh, so I could check how many wrinkles you have, and also I could maybe get into your pants by being funny. Is that true? It's an element of truth in it. Do you say it? You do not. You do not. Have some mystery, have some playfulness, let things develop.
[27:06] But don't believe in this ick stuff. If you're attractive enough for a woman, it almost doesn't matter what you do. And if you're not attractive enough for a woman, it doesn't matter what you do or don't do. She'll claim an ick, right? And the ick is also, if the woman is dating for food, fun, and attention and selfies, this guy I just met took me to this amazing restaurant, like has the meal. It's so cool, right? Then she's clout chasing, right? She's showing her status, right? She's showing her status by showing how attractive she is that a guy takes her to an expensive restaurant on the first date and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? So then if she talks about the ick stuff, right? She's just saying, I need an excuse because I really only went out with you for status and clout and to get a nice meal and to feel desired. I don't have one. So then she'll make up an ick and then blame you for the fact that she was never really attracted to you in the first place.
[28:16] The irony of Kanye West divorcing his nude art piece of a wife and finding out that the guy who made his mark with Jamie Foxx singing intro to the hit Gold Digger didn't have a prenup. Physician, heal thyself. Oh my gosh, that's wild. Crazy. Ick delayed rejection with free food yeah well and the ick is showing your power oh that just gives me the ick okay well i better not do that god almighty stride purposefully through the world and see who salutes and applauds that's all you can do stride purposefully through the world and see who wants to join your journey that's all but this bullshit chasing after and i I got to buy her flowers. And I can't give her the ick. And I got like, oh my God, talk about an inversion of any equality. It's gross. Stride purposefully through the world and see who wants to join your journey and see whose journey you want to join. That's it. That's it. Chasing after people is gross.
[29:37] I do my show and see who wants to listen. Please, you got to come. You got to try, right? Gross. It's the inverse yang to men's yin of suggesting romance for sex. I don't get, men's yin of suggesting romance for sex. I don't know what that means. Sorry, no follow. Could be my fault. But nonetheless, there's a new formatting of my novel, The Future, which if you haven't checked out, I'm not sure what you're doing with your time, life, day, or purpose, but let me give you the link here, freedomain.com slash books, just go to The Future, it's a really nice Kindle, that Kindle format that you can read, it's really beautifully put together, so I hope you will check that out, my novel, The Future, and really, you should read my novel, The Present, which is the only novel that I know of, that is set in the men's rights movement. It's great being liberated from publishers because then you can write about what you care about without thinking about publishers going, this might be perceived as misogynistic because it has sympathy for men. So we can't do that. It'll rewrite. No thanks. No thanks.
[31:02] Doom, doom, doom, doom. All right.
[31:13] Eat, Pray, Love. Yes, probably one of the worst and most destructive books of the last couple of decades. The movie was just appalling in its narcissism. Oh, well, Julie Roberts, what do you expect? So, the European economy is hilarious. So Home Depot is worth more than all the European startups created in the past 50 years combined. One company, Home Depot, is worth more than all the European startups created in the past 50 years combined. But of course, the cream of Europe was destroyed in two world wars, and all that's left is virtue signaling, cackery, open borders, and a reliance on the US while constantly complaining about the U.S.
[32:18] I'm tempted to self-drive, to try a self-driving car just to take it for a test drive. It's not that, I mean, I would never imagine dropping my car as like secondhand and like 10 years old or whatever, but I think it would be pretty cool. But then I'm concerned that I might really like it. Gross. So Ashley Sinclair has hit Elon Musk with a paternity suit, seeks sole custody of their five-month-old son. She also wrote, there's no sin as cruel as alienating a child from a parent, seeing so much of this everywhere. Now all the people who congratulated Ashley Sinclair, come on, come on.
[33:04] Stef, why do some guys have a foot fetish? A foot fetish is a cuck fetish because you're positioning yourself on the ground at the lowest level of the female anatomy. Like there's nothing lower than the foot. It's the very bottom.
[33:18] So you're saying I'm so cucked and women are so all powerful and I'm so masochistic in my humiliation that I find the lowest level of the female anatomy, which would be me literally lying prostrate on the floor groveling, that is sexually turned on for me, which means i assume that you have a very bitchy vagina dentite a female devouring mother right so yeah it's it's gross it is a to me absolute uh masochism.
[33:55] Why do you think Home Depot is worth more than all the startups in Europe? Are the startups that bad? Well, I mean, anybody who wants to do a startup doesn't stay in Europe. I mean, they get to the States, because in the States, you can actually have a startup. You have access to more talent, fewer regulations, and all. Like in France, it's almost impossible to fire people, which means that incompetent people get stuck to startups and destroy them.
[34:24] So uh taking a self-driving car for a test drive how does that work i think you get it right, i think i would be concerned about it driving you off a boat launch yeah so the more cool the cars the more they track you right they just track you all of this kind of stuff right if i'm ever in that region of canada i'll let you give my car a self-spin oh you have a like a tesla or a Cybertruck or something like that. Cybertrucks are cool, but they should be like Luke Skywalker. They should be like off the ground. There should be no wheels. Should be anti-gravity devices. Almost by definition. Sad but true. All right, let's see what else I have for you. And it's funny because there's this battle about Ashley Sinclair's baby and people say, well, you should celebrate the birth of every baby. Okay, it's not the baby's fault. not the baby's fault.
[35:17] But if you view single motherhood as destructive and having children out of wedlock as destructive, then you can say I'm glad that there's a baby in the world but you would not praise the actions of the mother but all these people were just congratulating her right I don't know man, great song tempted the 1981 version is great squeeze the band squeeze I think, Elvis Costello doing some low people keep on bragging that's a great song you should check out tempted by the fruit of another tempted it's a great song great lyrics.
[35:58] Personal income tax rates. This is interesting for me. This is from World of Statistics on X. All of the countries with a 0% income tax rate, Cayman Islands, Bahamas, Bahrain, Bermuda, Brunei, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates. Then Guatemala has 7% and it kind of goes up from there all the way to like Israel, 50%, Belgium, 50%, Sweden, 52%. Well, the no-go zones aren't going to fund themselves. Austria, 55%, Denmark, 55.9%, Japan, 55.95%. Can't imagine why the birth rate's low. And Finland, 57.65%. And taxes is not about gathering money. Taxes is about reducing birth rate. Income taxes are about reducing birth rates. All right.
[37:03] There's also a kind of pride that a certain type of European takes in limiting how much they work and they take off for the month of August and so on. Yeah, for sure. I mean, Americans take vacations in eight-minute increments with smoke breaks. But yeah, you try and contact a European in the summer, it's like, I am not here. I am far away from my desk. Yeah, I get all of that. And they feel superior to that, which is fine, but then pay for your own fucking defense, you parasites, right? That's all. But of course, Europe was able to save so much money by outsourcing their defense to America, and nukes, I guess, that they were able to afford mass migration, which means that the welfare state will be destroyed right so anyway, boring stuff.
[37:54] I've heard that it's also because feet are almost always covered up i do think it's nice when a woman has pretty feet but the fetish stuff is weird i i honestly i've never looked at a woman, and and thought wow she has pretty feet i know there's something to do with women in hand male hands, I don't know. But again, if a woman likes you enough, remember, you can be a murderer, you can be recently, you can claim to recently be convicted for spousal or girlfriend abuse, partner abuse, beating your partner, and you can say you don't bathe, and some women will still flock to you.
[38:35] So the idea that men are rejecting women by their feet is incomprehensible to me, how did you go about choosing a church staff well I took some advice from some friends.
[38:56] Crazy man, All right, what else do I have for you?
[39:09] The stuff coming out about 700 days plus still producing spike proteins and shedding and stuff is just appalling. Just appalling.
[39:22] Yeah, so this is the people, I'll call them out, right? I mean, these are the people who congratulated Ashley St. Clair on being a baby mama to a clearly not going to be involved father. And the fact that he's the richest guy in the world for anyone who thinks that's not part of her calculations I don't even know what to tell you Matt Gaetz said this child has incredible genetics, cat turd congratulations on your growing family Ash I'm floored right now but in a good way lol right James O'Keefe congrats Ashley, Ginger Gaetz love you mama bear Mike Cernovich congratulations sorry you had to deal with this bullshit there's no load that they won't go to right this is her claim that She had to go public because she's going to get doxxed, right? And Ashley Sinclair apparently took, so Elon Musk communicates in, I assume, apps that disappear their texts. She used another phone to take pictures of the texts, which, you know, if you're in a I'm disappearing app, communicating that way, somebody needs to tell you if they're taking a permanent record. it? Isn't it kind of a little, I wouldn't say fraudulent, but it's kind of dishonest. If somebody thinks they're communicating to you on a disappearing text thing and you're taking photos, you need to tell them that.
[40:43] Somebody wrote, this is Suleiman Ahmed, said, if you want to understand the dynamics of the sexual marketplace, an average ego managed to entrap and have a child with the world's richest and most powerful man, she would get a percent of his money and will be set for life now i don't know about in trap but uh crazy.
[41:06] Uh, Mrs. Massacre, it's a great name. She wrote Ashley Sinclair suing Elon for paternity and sole custody. And this deadbeat won't even see his kid. Some of you all really need to get your tongue off his boots and stop acting like he's some hero. It's all a facade. Well, look, I mean, this is like women, they want the alpha male. And then they complain that he's unavailable. It's like, so he's an alpha male because he's doing a lot of stuff in the world. He's making money, doing deals, traveling and, uh, and so on. So women want the alpha male and they then they want the money and status of the alpha male and then they want the time and attention of the beta and it's like not gonna happen not gonna happen, crazy, and h pearl davis was skeptical from the beginning and uh she wrote uh hey real candace oh i'll be waiting on your retraction as well as your retraction on Stefen Crowder. This is a separate sort of matter with Hilary Crowder, but then the post is unavailable. So yeah, I mean, I don't see a lot of people apologizing to Pearl who gets quite a lot right.
[42:19] Madness. All right, let's get your questions and comments. We can do a bit of a short show if nobody's feeling particularly chatty. We can do a little bit of a short show. I might have time later to do a telegram chat. Let's see here. Oh, and apparently she was in pursuit of him for quite some time. I'm so glad to be happily married and not dating at the moment. Yeah, I don't, um, I don't know about that in particular I'm not sure about that.
[43:03] Because there's so many people who are just so terrible at dating that I can certainly see the case that any sort of reasonable social skills or dating skills would be like an insane superpower at the moment, so i don't know man people are so bad at it, oh yeah so good looking guys this is from the daily mail uh good looking guys can get away with anything and this is like i don't know this is six or seven years ago and it's pretty pretty funny so a good looking guy uh this experiment was conducted by a user on a bodybuilding forum, So he wrote, I want to rip that dress off and F you. And the woman was like, okay. This is incredibly crass and rude and so on, right?
[44:12] And, yeah, I'd like to do this. And she's like, I'd like to touch your abs. Also, your eyes are so attractive. Wow. And then he says, let's F, and she gives him her number. And, uh, crazy. I wouldn't even read these summaries. It's just so absolutely horrendous. But yeah, if you're good looking enough, again, this is not all women, there's tons of exceptions and so on, but yeah, it's just about attraction. If the woman is attracted to you, she'll put up with almost anything, which, you know, you should, you should recognize that power and be humble and treat her well, but yeah. All right.
[45:12] Uh, hey, Stef, did you watch Sam Hyde's video, Dear Vivek? Uh, he talked about peaceful parenting, mentioned you a bit. I did see that little bit, which I appreciate. It's very nice. Sam Hyde does give Stef props a lot. It's nice of him. I don't think most would expect him to be the peaceful parenting. Talk about rolling with the joke, right? Because he's always put forward as some, you know, terrible guy. And it's really, uh, I mean, really rolling with the joke is pretty cool. Perhaps something drastic needs to happen to reset the dating scene what do you think it would take Stef well it's already underway the department of government efficiency is resetting the dating scene right.
[45:57] Somebody says uh sam peta nice to see you i went to a local dance event for all skill levels recently it was amazing taking the advice from your recent show Stef really helped me out i was able to ask any woman to dance quite easily. I'll be donating on the free domain website soon. Thank you. I appreciate that. And congratulations. Congratulations.
[46:13] So, yeah, so the reset is when women have less access to free money and status, then they will be more interested in dating quality men. So, gosh, what is it? Percent women government workers. Now, and certainly if we're talking about office jobs, it's crazy.
[46:44] But it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. And of course, women are bribed to be in the labor force, so they're not in labor giving children and having children, right? So it's all just depopulation stuff and all of that. So yeah, women, so what you want to do, and this happened in the 60s, which really was the worst decade in many ways in American history. But in the 60s, laws were passed that says you can't ask a woman if she's married, you can't ask a woman if she wants to have kids and you have to pay men and women who are providing like equal pay for work of equal value, whatever that means, right? It's just a completely subjective thing. And so women, employers could no longer say, okay, well, if a man and a woman at 25 years old, recently married, who's going to be more likely to provide more value to my business in the long run? This is not complicated, right? So if a man and woman, both 25 and recently married, certainly in the 50s and 60s a woman was going to have you know three to five children and was going to be unavailable to provide value to the business right, so that's just a basic fact, and so the employer would.
[48:05] Would not hire the woman but rather would hire the man And, in general, because women would drop out of the workforce to have children, you would not give, you know, big, long-term, challenging, complicated responsibilities to women, because, it's easy to replace a secretary, it's harder to replace a project manager with, a million-dollar project, right?
[48:40] And of course, for maternity leave, you have to keep the woman's job open. And that's virtually impossible to do if it's a complicated job, right? So again, we're talking about a multi-million dollar project manager, a project managing her multi-million dollar projects, and she's gone for, you know, three, six, nine, 12 months. You can't hire someone in to get up to speed who's going to be really competent because really competent people don't want temporary jobs where the original work is going to come back, right? So it just, we understand all of this, right? So, the reality is that without forcing employers to pretend that women don't have children, women end up being bribed to not have children. And so, when with the end of DEI or the potential end of DEI or a reduction in the emphasis on DEI and with a reduction in the number of government workers, then women are not going to be bribed to be sterile or have very few children. And therefore, women will look for economic security from family rather than the feds, right, from the government.
[50:00] So, when women start to look for financial security, not from borrowed money printed noose around the necks of the next generation government funding and support, then they will start looking for quality men to have children with. That's a reset of the dating market. All right.
[50:29] Uh somebody says oh same guy i'm less concerned about the dating market or how modern women are and more concerned about the virtues and values i bring especially after my recent dance experience i think complaining about women is a confession from low quality dudes not wanting to put in the work and who spend too much time online versus actually going out to talk to women, well it seems like in one generation entire dating and flirting skills have vanished.
[50:57] And so the instincts and the hunger still remain, so you're competing with incompetent people i don't know how that's not an incentive so well you know women are men and women don't know how to talk to each other anymore it's like okay so learn how to talk to women and you're competing i mean it's not hard to win the gold if you're the only person in the ring i don't understand for me if i was still out in the single market i would be working like crazy to you know polish and upgrade my social skills my joking skills my charm skills my flirting skills or whatever and that way i'd be facing almost no competition from all the half-cocked video game and porn addict freddy cats out there who don't want to talk to anyone. I mean, that's good, right? That's good. So to me, I view general incompetence as a spur to ambition. Look, let me be straight up with you. I think philosophy sucks as a whole. Like it sucks and blows in equal measure.
[52:00] And I sort of remember the movie, um, uh, um, Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. And in it, he goes back to Socrates, you know, dust in the wind, man, all we are is dust in the wind. And Socrates is like, yeah, that's wise. That's deep, right? Even, uh, the explication of the Freudian, uh, um, maternal attachment, like the Oedipus complex got better. So that's philosophy, that's just in dust in the wind philosophy is useless i'm very philosophical about it means i've detached and i'm gaslighting myself like philosophy sucks as a whole and so because philosophy sucks that's an open field of competition right you don't have to be the best runner in the world in a race you just have to be the faster runner than everyone behind you, so for me if i was still in the dating market it would be like man this is a wide open field because so many people have checked out and aren't talking to girls and are incompetent and too nervous and too frightened and have missed the window and so on.
[53:10] Stef, would you use online dating if you were in your 20s and single in 2025? I mean, I suppose I'd give it a try. I'd prefer in-person stuff, but I suppose I'd give it a try. But I was talking to a guy on the Telegram channel who was like, I used to know this girl in university. I haven't talked to her in a couple of years. and I sent her a message like, hey, I'm thinking if you want to get a coffee sometime and she didn't respond. Now, who knows why she didn't respond, but you've got to put some energy and you got to make a joke, an observation, woo someone, make a shared experience, remind them of something. You've got to show, it's not just, hey, let's get a coffee. Who the hell are you? Unless you're some super good looking guy. You're just a guy saying, let's get a coffee and you're not doing any flash or any sales or any, oh my God, it's terrible. I mean, you're like the band, The Car is in concert, just standing and mumbling, right? I mean put on a show otherwise people might as well just listen to the record, put on a show flirt a little show a little flash a little vinegar a little something right, i mean that's like a video for your music which is you just mumbling the lyrics, you know a little flash a little show a little something do something.
[54:26] The only thing that kills me in public is the existence of earbuds. I hate making a comment, compliment, and there was the earbud. Oh, yeah, and then the woman makes a big show, right? Okay. But, yeah, you've got a type with a little comedy, a little verve, a little edginess, a little whatever, right? Something that makes you, like, not, like, hey, you want to get a coffee? It's like something that's just a lame invite, right? Somebody says, I think modern women need to first realize and then properly grieve having been lied to by feminists. then perhaps they may be able to lock ahead and form a proper pair bond. You've got to be kidding me. Well, see, all that we need, all that's needed for me to get a quality girlfriend and wife is for women to go through a massive self-reflection episode and reject feminist... Come on. Come on. Just like me saying, well, all that's needed is for everyone in the world to independently come up with UPB, the non-aggression principle, property rights, and peaceful parenting, and then maybe I can talk to them.
[55:38] Come on. You don't wait for people to spontaneously develop reason. If you get a big cut, you go get it stitched up. You don't wait for it spontaneously to stitch itself up. If people have been wounded by lies, you go out and tell them the fucking truth. You don't just wait for the truth to emerge in their own hearts and minds of their own accord. That's like trying to fight a battle by hoping that the invading army has spontaneous strokes and heart attacks. Lead someone, for God's sakes. Be a leader. If the woman is embedded in feminism and you like her, lead her out of it. If she's embedded in any kind of collectivist lies, Lead her out of it. All I'm just going to wait for her is to spontaneously lead herself out of it.
[56:28] Come on, man. That's sad. That's sad. Go help her. I mean, I'm a show where I take people on and tell them the truth and reason and argue and debate with them and give them the facts and the data and the empirical evidence. I just wait for people to spontaneously come to reason and philosophy and peace and virtue of their own accord. Take a leadership role and let her lead you in some things too. It's not like you're perfect. My wife leads me in some things. I lead her in some things. I just have to wait for a massive spontaneous improvement in all human consciousness among women and then things will be fine. That's bullshit and a cope and just a way of avoiding leadership.
[57:13] That wasn't stupid what I said. Of course it would take someone telling them.
[57:21] You didn't mention anything about. First realize. You said first realize. To realize something is to have an inner revelation. Oh, God, I realize I'm running late. Right? Realize is, in general, an inner revelation. So, you're talking about they first need to realize of their own accord, right? Not be told, not be let out of. You said realize and then properly grieve another internal state. So then women need to realize that they've been lied to. That's passive. You don't try and rewrite stuff. Don't try and gaslight me. I mean, sorry, you're welcome to try and gaslight me, but it won't work. It's right there. I think modern women need to first realize then properly grieve having been lied to by feminists. No, realization is an inner process.
[58:17] In the process. Don't gaslight me, bro. You made a mistake. I'm trying to help you. I make mistakes. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal.
[58:27] You said something that was kind of foolish. I do too. Don't worry about it. I'm giving you a correction. Don't gaslight me. All right. Stef, did you talk to Izzy about men approaching her like at a job? Yes. Polite but firm. Okay. When is the next Izzy Show, Stef? I've got all the questions printed out. We'll get to it this week.
[58:56] All right. 80% of the women want 20% of the men. If you're not in that 20%, you have already lost the dating game. True or false? Okay, let's say, so what are 20% of the men? Now, if 20% of the men are just tall with great facial bone structure, that's not it. That's not it. Women deep down are looking for funny, attractive, interesting men who are good conversationalists. Now, is there anything you can do to become more attractive to women? Yes, of course there is, right? Take care of your teeth. Don't have the yellow teeth that women think they're going to get scurvy from kissing. Take care of your teeth. Get them whitened if you need to. Use moisturizer. Use proper cleaners on your skin. This is something my wife introduced me to. She's got me the proper cleaners, and I use gobs of facial moisturizer morning and night.
[59:59] Exercise. Eat healthily. Don't be gassy. Eat what's right for your body so you're not gassy. Use deodorant. I don't use any aftershave or any cologne, but I use deodorant.
[1:00:14] So, just, you know, have attractive glasses if you need glasses. Take care of your hair, right? So, if you, and learn how to talk to women, learn how to be engaging, have interesting Facts like I show up to these conversations with a whole bunch of stuff I can talk about. If the questions aren't coming fast and furious, be prepared. So you say 80% of women want 20% of the men. Okay. So be in that 20%. Now, if you say, well, but it's only height and bone structure. Well, you don't want a woman who only cares about height and bone structure. So she's not in the category of women that you want. So have some game, have some charm, have some humor, have some jokes, have some observations, Be willing to challenge a woman. Show her you're not afraid of her. This is really important, right? You know, there's all these things like the dog's barking at you. It's like, don't show fear. It's like, it's a big dog is barking at me, right? So don't show fear. Don't show fear. Have a little fun with women. Make a little bit of fun with them. Not negging or anything that's kind of mean, but don't take them too seriously, right? Don't be desperate. Be confident because a woman is not going to want a guy who's frightened of her. Because that's low status and she wants a man who has the capacity to lead and provide and protect. If you show women that you're scared of them, they won't be attracted to you because if you're scared of a woman, you can't win as a man.
[1:01:43] Stop being scared of women. That's going to put you at the top 5%. And don't use women, obviously. Sociopaths aren't scared of women, but they just use them as objects. Right? So care about women and don't be scared of them. Be honest. Be authentic. If a woman says something silly, say, well, I think that was kind of silly. Here's why. Can't be serious. Come on. Right? Women are delighted by men who don't take them overly seriously and women are delighted by men who aren't scared of them. Because if you're scared of a woman, you're giving her too much power. And it's gross. That's an ultimate ick, is giving a woman too much power. All right.
[1:02:32] So, yeah, 20% of the men, guess what? Men chase after hot chicks too, so blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So just be in the 20%, right? And don't be passive in your attractiveness. Don't be passive in your attractiveness. Woo, be charming, be funny, be witty, be, make a little fun, you know, just get over your fear of women and you're in the top 5%.
[1:02:58] All right, somebody writes, I'm a divorced father, decided not to date for the next decade in order to focus on my children rather than ruining their world and then going on to invest immensely in a new relationship. What? People tell me I should date in order to model a healthy relationship to them. My daughter, on the other hand, asks me once in a while, on her own accord, to not remarry. Don't know if I made the right decision, but I'm choosing the kids over myself. As far as I can see, I figure they deserve it.
[1:03:29] But children learn adult love by watching adults love each other. They don't learn adult love by being loved by their parents. So I'm not sure that it's great for your children to not be in any relationships. I'm not sure how being in a relationship would ruin their world. So. I don't. Because what you have communicated to them is that relationships ruin their world. Relationships ruin people's world. And that might make them kind of relationship averse when you think about it, right? Somebody says, can't you have the same guy? Can't you have a realization based on something you've heard? I'm not trying to gaslight you. Well, that's why I said in general. See, gotta listen. Listen, I'm pretty precise in what I say. In general, realization refers to something generated from within. You say, I realize, I've realized that, that's an internal thing. Now, of course, it could be something that somebody has told you, but then you're still doing it on your own accord, right?
[1:04:47] So in general, a realization is something internal. So if your coach tells you, well, you need to do this in order to win, and then you say, I've realized I need to do this in order to win, you're pretending your coach didn't tell you that, right?
[1:05:10] If I tell you two and two make four, and then you say, I've realized that two and two make four, you're bypassing the fact that you were told. Now, if your coach says you need to lift your knees more when you're practicing, you're running, it's going to help you win. And you do that and it helps you win. And you say, my coach was right about this. I tried it out. I tested it not. Well, I've realized that I need to lift my, like that's bypassing the fact that you're told. This is why realization means something internal. I mean, somebody could be told something and then say, I realize, but they're gaslighting then they're, they're lying because they're bypassing the fact that they were told something. Somebody says, I never thought of approaching any girls until I was 18. I don't know why. I noticed 10 before age 18, never thought of talking with any of them until I became completely infatuated with one of them. But that's a pornography addiction for the most part, or a masturbation addiction, right? So if you've never thought of approaching any girls until you're 18, it's because your sexual needs are being satisfied with, uh, you know, Mr. and Mrs. Handiclaws.
[1:06:23] I mean, if you're growing your own food, you don't think of going to the grocery store really, right? In a similar situation myself for choosing to date, I'm curious how dating will damage your children. Yeah, for sure. That's not a good message, right? I think your childhood should be able to veto any prospective stepmother. Your children should be able to veto any prospective stepmother. I don't know. I don't know about that. I don't know. I mean, obviously, if they're mean, if the stepmother's mean, yeah, for sure. I'm not scared of women, scared of the long crooked arm of the state.
[1:07:01] You know, half your ancestors, their children died and they regularly lost husbands and wives to smallpox and war and famine, right? They managed to do it, but you're scared of divorce. No need to be scared of divorce. Marry a well-read woman or well-educated woman who matches your values and doesn't have a high body count and your risk of divorce is like 3 to 5 percent, which is way better odds than your ancestors had of a relationship lasting their whole life because of death and childbirth, smallpox, polio, war, famine, rat bites, infection. Come on, man. Your ancestors would kill, kill for the certainty you can have in a modern marriage. Don't take any of this 50 percent bullshit. Marry a well-educated, well-read woman or well-read, could be an audited act, right? Marry a well-read woman with a relatively low body count who shares your values. You have almost no chance of getting divorced and you have a way higher chance of making it to old age with your bride than your ancestors ever did. So stop this pussification bullshit. I'm scared of the state. And choose a woman who's not going to do that to you because she shares your values. Filter for that. I've already talked about this a million times, so. All right.
[1:08:30] All right. Good morning, Sea Monkey. You disappointed a lot of children from the ads on the back of comic books when I was little. I will admit my text wasn't precise. I understand now.
[1:08:45] Oh, come on, man. Do you know how admirable it is if you just say, you're right, I'm wrong? I've done that. I've got an entire series of shows saying I was wrong about X, Y, and Z, right? I've apologized to Christians for being far too harsh, right? So, it's just like this, this hedging stuff. Well, my text wasn't precise. It's like you were just kind of wrong, right? You, you basically used a word that means coming up with something yourself and it calls you out on that. And you say, well, I wasn't precise.
[1:09:19] I assume that your text reflected your state of mind, which is that women need to fix themselves before I'm going to date them. And I said, stop being that way and be a leader, lead a woman out of error. Don't wait for them all to fix themselves before you date them. That is not an extrapolation. That's based upon the fact that you chose a word, whether they're conscious or unconscious, that indicates women need to fix themselves before I'm going to date them. And I said, be a leader. I'm giving you a fix to that. I'm helping you out. And then you say, well, I wasn't that precise. It's like, no, no, you just, you had a mindset that's incorrect or not helpful or not being a leader. And I've opened you up the path to date. You could say, Stef, you really caught me out on a bad mindset there. Thanks. This could really open up my chance to be happily married and be a father. Well, my text wasn't precise. Come on, man. Just some gratitude. The reason I'm saying that is because I have helped you out enormously because this was a mindset problem. And I understand and I sympathize and I have my mindset problems myself, blah, blah, blah, right? But if somebody has really taken the time out to call you out on something that's a bad mindset that stands between you and getting married and being a father and having your life full of love and comfort in your old age, if I've broken down that stuff, you could say, thanks, Stef, you really identified a negative concept I had in my mind. This really opens up a lot of doors. I appreciate that. And the reason that's important, I'll survive without your thanks. But if you're not grateful to people who help you, no one's going to help you.
[1:10:38] And you need to be helped in life, just as I do. And the way that you get helped in life is you appreciate and show gratitude to people who take their time to help you. You don't gaslight more by saying, well, I guess I wasn't quite precise. Even that's passive-aggressive. My text wasn't precise.
[1:10:56] Come on, man. If you don't thank and show appreciation to people who genuinely help you, and this was genuine help for you, people won't help you.
[1:11:09] People won't help you. And then you will have to go through life trying to figure everything out yourself. That's no fun. All right. It would take time off my time with them looking back on the last few years, the dating, the not dating dad. Had I not been there 100% of my time, I'd be missing on the problems they have due to the divorce and the giant effort of helping them heal. They really needed lots of tension and the results through peaceful parenting are astounding. I thank God every day I was there with them. Okay. Well, it sounds like you're perfectly comfortable with your decisions, so I'm not going to argue with you, right? Literal slaves had children. Yep, absolutely. Somebody says, cut him some slack, Stef. Dude is tired, like most men today. Tired of plunging off the turds, fighting all the wars, building everything, and still have to teach a woman about feminism? You don't. You don't. You can choose to be single.
[1:12:06] But you know what makes you the most tired? Helplessness as a man. Helplessness is death to men. Because helplessness, I talked about this a couple of shows ago, helplessness is a presage or a prequel to death itself. So you're tired because you feel helpless and I'm telling you don't feel helpless. Don't feel helpless. Share the load of learning with someone you love. That's a positive thing. But if you feel helpless, you'll feel tired. And I'm telling you, if you can act as a man, you won't feel helpless. You'll get lots of energy.
[1:12:41] Somebody said, oh, this is the same guy. Son had anger tantrums and daughter went terribly overweight. Solved both of these by investing lots of attention. Oh, more passive aggression from the guy, the realized guy. Okay, you're right. I'm wrong.
[1:13:05] Yeah, so that's just passive aggressive. Fine, I'm right. You're wrong. Okay, so listen, I'm just telling you that people won't help you if you're passive aggressive and you gaslight them. They just won't help you. And then you just have to go through life without help. You can choose to do that. Seems like i mean i'm always asking people what do i ask people at the beginning oh suggestions comments criticism problems objections like tell me where i'm wrong tell me right.
[1:13:35] I'm female i'm stating that because it was something i did oh you're a female okay i didn't know that um so but the thing did did someone help you out of it? Did a man or anyone help you out of feminism? I realized that and properly grieved the feminist lie. I wanted to share that, but said it wrong. Okay, so if you grieve the feminist lie, then you should accept male leadership in areas of competence, just as I accept female leadership in areas of competence, right? So if you have escaped feminism, then you should respect and appreciate male leadership in areas of competence, which means when I correct you about a bad mindset, then you should appreciate and thank me for that. If you haven't escaped feminism, then you'll be passive aggressive and a little witchy when it comes to.
[1:14:40] Appreciating male competence. I just had something on my lip, didn't even notice it till now. Excellent. I love not being the focus of Stefan's ire lol. It's just enthusiasm. That's all it is. And there's a funny thing now. There's a funny thing. I don't know if you've noticed this among young people as a whole. What the hell is going on? Oh, there's a shadow. I'm trying to get this infinite, like Eastern European unibrow going off into my forehead. There's just a shadow from my head. But there's this funny thing now where kids aren't told that they're bad at stuff. You've noticed this? Like, it's a really terrible thing. It's really withholding, honest correction. You know, oh, you guys did great, even when they suck. When I was a kid, if you were bad at something, you were told you sucked at it. It's terrible. I remember I was in theater school.
[1:15:22] I was supposed to have an honest moment and do nothing. and I ended up pretending to do my laundry and then having a sock, sing a Sam Cooke song to me. And the teacher was like, yeah, I like your singing very much, but that was terrible. That was not honest. You've never done that in real life. And then I had to redo it the next day. And what I did was I came out of the shower in a bathrobe, lay down and listened to a song on CD headphones. And she's like, that's it, that's it. I've never seen anyone get it that quickly, but instead of putting on a performance, you were just honest and yourself in the moment. And that was, you know, so I sucked. It was bad, right? I remember when I tried to learn a dance routine, I'm okay at freestyle dancing, but I tried to learn a dance routine and I looked like a horse being machine gunned off a cliff. It was just bad. And, and like people were just laughing and be like, it's terrible. It's just terrible. And they were right. It's not my thing, man. It's not my thing. So, so, but there's this thing now where kids are like, they never get told that they're bad at stuff. Good effort. Good effort. Oh, you tried, you know. Everyone gets a participation trophy. It's like, no, people suck at stuff and they should know that so they can guide themselves better, right? Really excited to hear how church goes for you, Stef. Me being an atheist, it's hard for me to get myself into a church. I've really been looking forward towards it for community and to get out more.
[1:16:44] But Stef, the fact that you brought up the opposite to my thinking will definitely make me rethink. Thank you. Sorry, Stef, you helped me out. I appreciate that. Listen, I'm not begging for praise here. I'm just saying that I'm giving you the feedback that if you want people to help you out, you've got to show them some appreciation. And I appreciate your appreciation. Thank you. Yeah, men aren't interested if nobody loses, right? The participation trophy stuff is to demotivate men from having a defending a civilization. Men don't want to play when nobody gets to lose. Right? Nobody wants to play the first half of a chess match. At least men don't, right? Also, if men don't lose, their testosterone goes down. If men can't lose, because testosterone is to help you win, right? This is a way of lowering testosterone, so men are easy to rule.
[1:17:40] A lot of problems in relationships are the loss of benefits relating to having children. I don't know what that means. What do you think about Trump and what he's doing? It's massively entertaining. I'm a little addicted to checking the news. The only time I was able to improve in sports was the team choosing lineup, being the last kid remaining, or was stung. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I've seen this good job thing in amateur volleyball pickup games. It's really unnerving. No, that place sucked. Oh yeah, there was a guy who got a little something in his eyes, a teenage guy I was playing with, got a little something in his eye and was just like, oh, one second, he's just like, I'm like, would you like to go to your princess eyewash station to deal with that? Blink it out, like walk it off. That's what I was told as a kid. I remember the tobacco chewing Scottish accented gym teacher, you know, I banged my face against the wall and he's like wiggling my teeth. Ah, you're fine. Walk it off.
[1:18:36] Men don't want to play games where there's no losing we want to win we want to do a victory lap and i'll do this like if i'm playing uh guys and i'm like warming up my victory dance and i'm like what are we playing for what like with even with my own family right we go to play mini golf it's like what are we playing for let's play for what we do next whoever wins gets to say what we do next make some stakes and have some winning and losing right men don't want to play when you can't lose women oddly do i don't really get that but women are like fine with games where nobody wins and nobody loses in fact women are so sensitive to the feelings of the loser that, they get offended if there's winning and losing they're upset by it it's a negative and it's like okay so you can train your little boys out of winning and losing and then they'll just lose to men who were raised with winning and losing.
[1:19:29] They over-feminize your boys and you'll just lose your civilization. They'll just lose your culture. You'll get taken over. But you've got to have people who are toughened up by winning and losing. But women don't like the winning and losing, and so they remove it, and then.
[1:19:58] You end up with low testosterone men who don't want to participate in society, don't want to become fathers, and you'll just get rolled over by other cultures. Was there any info about the bigger rap play study I missed? I don't know what you mean by that. No so when you're a bigger rat and play fighting with a smaller rat the smaller rat the baby rat the toddler rat the teenager rat has to win like 25 to 40 percent of the time otherwise they don't play right played rec baseball for four straight losing seasons around zero and 15 each season paid off when we were teenagers all of us were high school varsity players the ones who stuck it out oh yeah like i my wife and i met playing volleyball and uh i'm pretty good at volleyball, and there were guys there who came to play who sucked and didn't stop playing that's weird to me like that so if if if i like let's say that i tried to join some top tier volleyball team like some top tier amateur volleyball team like really good really good well i couldn't i wouldn't i I would be dragging the team down. I'd quit because I don't want to be there because I'm dragging the team down.
[1:21:21] But there were guys who came out, they sucked, and they just still played. And it's like, where's your pride? Yeah, if you suck, find a better suited league. That's right. That's right. In fact, my wife, who's all of 5'2 and 115 pounds, she was like, a friend of hers was going to play. And she's like, well, I'll go play, but I'm not, like it's volleyball. If I'm bringing the team down, I'm not going to stay. Because she's honorable that way. right yeah if you suck get a coach do drills do something yeah i mean you need to know what you suck at so you can find something you don't suck at or find ways to not suck at what you love, right i mean i like singing so i took a bunch of singing lessons and you know got to the maximum which is not great but okay and um so i don't know i don't do singing i've yet to find my ceiling on philosophy like i did a great show this morning before the show about how easy it is to, self-isolate and vanish from society.
[1:22:23] Yeah, I currently play indoor. Some people are not that great, but you can work towards getting better if not quick. Yeah. And this is why self-organized games are no longer a thing in neighborhoods. Well, partly because of diversity, but it's just not enough common games in sports or languages sometimes. But when I was a kid, you know, self-organized games. We're like, okay, we're going to play soccer. So two team captains and they get to choose. You find out where you are, right? Can you train yourself to be a tenor if you're naturally a baritone? Well, there is a general theory that Freddie Mercury was in fact a baritone who trained himself or who ended up being a tenor. But generally you should stay in your comfortable vocal range. The problem is that because to be heard over loud rock instruments, a tenor or even the Sting size or John Anderson style counter tenor is easier to hear so.
[1:23:22] So you should try and stay within your range but unfortunately I mean there are some exceptions Billy Idol is obviously a baritone and the Lighthouse Family guy is a baritone, you could maybe argue that Michael Hutchins from NXS was more of a baritone but, it's you know And why would you want to do stuff that's not natural to your voice? It just seems like hard work. Stef, when did you realize that you love your wife? Yeah, I remember the exact moment. We were on a hike in Don Mills. And she was climbing up ahead of me. And we just had such a lovely day of chatting. And it was just so easy and pleasant and fun. And it's just like, I can't do better. Like, I just, I can't. And very soon after that, I went to get a ring. Yeah, it's just like, I can't do better than this. Like, there's no upgrade. She's gorgeous, she's brilliant, she practices psychology, and she's just fantastic, right?
[1:24:20] So, I mean, you just get the sense of peace and like, what else, what else am I looking for? Right. It's got a great figure. She's pretty. She's smart. She's well-educated. We share the same values and she's funny. And like, I mean, I like, honestly, like it's like, what, what, what could I design that would be better? Right. So, all right. Any other last questions, comments, issues, challenges, problems, what is on your mind I'll get my voice back hopefully next week, but I'm happy to take your questions and criticisms and.
[1:25:01] Please know what you perceive of as harsh and direct I mean I do this with myself I expect people who are helping me to be honest and direct about things that I get wrong it's great, it's not a criticism You understand that correcting people is a mark of respect, right? Correcting people is a mark of respect. It is saying you can do better, right? So if your kid is drawing some goofy little kid drawing, you don't criticize it because they can't do any better given their age. Like a three-year-old is not going to paint a perspective portrait, right? So the reason you don't criticize your kids is they can't physically do any better. So criticism is a way of saying you can do better like when I was in theater school and did this goofy Sam Cooke singing sock nonsense the woman said and she was a very harsh New York teacher coffee New York and she was like that's terrible, it's terrible.
[1:26:05] And she was right. And so I'm like, it was a little bit of a shock. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm obviously not getting something. And she was kind of right. Like, however, it stings. She was right. I mean, that was not an honest moment of authentic Stef-ness. It was like Stef putting on a goofy show with a singing sock. She was right. So then I did it and really focused on just not trying to act, not trying to do anything, just being in the moment, even with a bunch of people watching and got it. So, but she criticized me because she thought I could do better. Right? So, people take criticism as an insult. Criticism is a mark of respect that you can improve.
[1:26:43] I mean, nobody bothered to criticize my dancing because everybody got, there was no chance I could improve, at least to the point where I could do anything with it that would be professional, right? So, or sometimes people will criticize you because you're focusing yourself, you're focusing your efforts on the wrong thing. And I was talking about this this morning on the show. The stuff that I wanted to do when I was younger was all about vanity and what would benefit me. What I really succeeded in in the world was when I focused on how I could benefit others and do good in the world. So sometimes people are criticizing you because you're focusing on something for the vanity of it rather than that which is sustainable and good for the world. So, yeah, don't take criticism, even if it's sharp as an insult, take it as a mark of respect that you can improve. And somebody is respecting you enough to say you can do better.
[1:27:39] Could somebody argue even destructive criticism is an act of love? No.
[1:27:46] Say somebody wanted to start a philosophy podcast today. What skill do you have to learn that would be obvious in podcasting philosophy? Well, but you can only start a philosophy podcast if you've been in philosophy for decades beforehand, right? It's like, it's like saying, well, suppose somebody just wanted to start a physics podcast. What would they, what particular skill would they, well, you'd need to have been into physics, whether you are trained formally or not, you'd need to have been into physics for decades so that you could fluidly talk about and explain physics to the lay audience, right? And so if somebody wanted to start a philosophy podcast, I'd say, okay, look back in time. How long have you been really interested in philosophy, reading about philosophy, studying philosophy, writing about philosophy, debating philosophy? And if it hasn't been decades, you're almost certain to have nothing to add. So I, for various circumstantial fortunes, I happened to be really desperately into philosophy, trained in philosophy. I took graduate course level in philosophy. My graduate degree was in the history of philosophy. I read about it, debated about it for 20 years before I was a public philosopher.
[1:29:06] So that's what you, you, you can't just go start a philosophy podcast.
[1:29:12] You have to have obsessed about it for, I assume decades, maybe you could make it shorter. And it really, it took me more than 20 years of studying philosophy before I had anything of substantial value to add to the field. You just, you've got to immerse yourself in the field. It's, it's like in, in, in healthcare, right? Like you have to be in something usually for decades. This is what the whole fairness argument was like, okay, this woman in her twenties is It's like revolutionizing healthcare. It's like, but you have to really study healthcare and you have to really study the mind, the body, and competition, and you have to understand trials and approvals before you can do any of this stuff. And she's like, well, she's just... In some things, like if you're really into coding, and I started coding when I was 11, so maybe in your 20s you can add stuff. If you've really been into engineering or physics from when you were little, you can add stuff. But in terms of philosophy, you have to have a certain amount of life wisdom and you have to have overcome the propaganda and you have to have read a wide variety of philosophical approaches before you can really synthesize and add something of value to the field. So there's no shortcut to this kind of stuff. And this is why nobody's been able to reproduce what I do. At least not that I know of. Like nobody's been able to, certainly nobody's been able to reproduce the originality and creativity I brought to moral issues.
[1:30:29] And nobody has been able to bring philosophy.
[1:30:38] To actionable status. Like you can do something about it and help your life in practical ways. So, all right. Thank you everyone for your time today. A great pleasure to chat with you all. I really do appreciate that. If of course you're listening later, freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. If you're listening and you're just finishing up and you appreciate what it is that I've done today, You can donate at freedomain.com slash donate. It's a good place to go. Don't forget to sign up for subscriptions at subscribestrom.com slash freedomain or fdrurl.com slash locals or on freedomain.com slash donate. You can do it there too. You get amazing, wonderful stuff up there. We were just talking about a really ferocious and powerful debate I had about abortion with a woman where I really had to wrangle some crazy levels of aggression, which I think is quite instructive. But do that kind of stuff. You get that kind of stuff when you subscribe. And it's really, really great stuff. and you get access to all the variety of AIs and all wonderful, wonderful stuff. So have yourself a beautiful week.
[1:31:35] Until Wednesday, I will continue to pump out the shows. Freedomain.com slash call. If you'd like to sign up for a call-in, there's a little bit of a wait, but maybe for the paid call-ins, it could be a little sooner. Happy to help in that regard. And lots of love. I'm up here, my friends. I'll talk to you soon.
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