0:05 - Life's Greatest Gift
3:02 - The Power of Creativity
5:43 - The Responsibility of Life
5:57 - The Gift of Creation
7:54 - The Burden of Inaction
10:59 - The Value of Existence
12:49 - The Weight of Ancestors
17:18 - The Cost of Convenience
22:14 - The Call to Action
23:21 - The Myth of Overpopulation
26:42 - The Complexity of Relationships
28:49 - The Dynamics of Obesity
34:01 - The Importance of Honesty
35:27 - The Nature of Relationships
37:02 - The Foundation of Marriage
38:42 - The Role of Family
41:12 - The Journey of Parenthood
54:50 - The Beauty of Marriage
1:06:31 - The Crisis of Birth Rates
1:10:53 - The Moral Duty to Speak
1:21:23 - The Balance of Truth and Silence
The lecture begins with a passionate exhortation about the profound significance and value of life, emphasizing that human consciousness is the greatest achievement of the universe. In an expansive cosmos filled with countless galaxies and celestial bodies, it is the human mind that imbues existence with meaning. The speaker reflects on the notion that, in a universe devoid of inherent meaning, the responsibility to create meaning falls upon humanity. This sets the tone for a broader discussion about the unique role of the human race and the potential for creativity and productivity.
The speaker asserts the intrinsic value of the human brain, positing that it is the only vessel through which creativity can be generated and passed down through generations. With an emphasis on life as a gift, the lecture transitions to the notion of creation—particularly the act of procreation—as a fundamental responsibility of those capable of it. The speaker compares this biological imperative to artistic creation, highlighting the ability to create life as a more profound and impactful endeavor than any artistic expression or consumption of culture.
In a thought-provoking metaphor, the speaker likens the potential for creating life to inheriting a substantial sum of money that represents the hard-fought labor and sacrifices of past generations. Just as one has a moral obligation not to squander inherited wealth, so too does one have a responsibility to perpetuate life and pass it forward. This theme of stewardship becomes central to the lecture, as the speaker challenges listeners to consider the weight of their choices in light of the sacrifices of their ancestors.
As the lecture progresses, the speaker addresses the fears and hesitations surrounding parenthood, confronting societal narratives that discourage procreation. The message underscores that the enjoyment and fulfillment yielded by raising children far outweigh the challenges and perceived inconveniences. The speaker argues that these hesitations are not merely personal choices but represent a failure to honor the struggles and sacrifices of lineage. Therefore, choosing to remain childless for convenience is positioned as a betrayal of one's heritage.
With both fervor and frustration, the speaker critiques modern attitudes toward parenting and generational responsibility, suggesting that excessive focus on personal pleasure and convenience leads to a neglect of the responsibilities owed to future generations. Engaging with audience questions, the lecture delves deeper into societal conditioning around marriage and family life, dismantling the argument that marriage is akin to exploitation. Instead, the speaker promotes a vision of familial relationships grounded in mutual respect and the shared goal of nurturing the next generation.
Finally, the lecture concludes with a call to action, urging individuals to embrace their roles in creating and nurturing life, to not be swayed by modern ideologies that prioritize individual gratification over community and continuity. The speaker's underlying message is one of hope and empowerment, framing the act of bringing new life into the world not only as a biological imperative but as a profound and necessary contribution to humanity's ongoing legacy.
[0:00] Going to start today with an exhortation for life.
[0:06] Life! Life! Life, that greatest gift in the known universe. Of all of the universe that we know of, the hundred billion galaxies, each with a hundred billion stars, we are the only conscious, conceptual, thinking, reasoning, moralizing species in existence. And that is the greatest achievement of the universe. The human mind is the greatest achievement that the universe is capable of. And the human mind is the only thing that gives the universe any meaning at all. There is no meaning in the intergalactic voids of empty space. There is no meaning in the 98% prevalence of hydrogen. There is no meaning, as the famous biologist once said, I don't know if there is a god, but if there is, he seems to be inordinately fond of beetles. Because of how many there are. There is no meaning in the universe, save that which is contained in the few pounds of wetware jammed between your eardrums. And without meaning, purpose, morality, philosophy, all there is, is, as Blaise Pascal famously chilled his heart with, all there is, is atoms and space. Stuff and nothing. Things and void.
[1:28] Asteroids and a gulf. And in this backwater planet on an inconsequential M-class star in the Goldilocks zone on the spiral arm of an indifferent and unremarkable galaxy is the greatest eruption of life and thought and reason that the universe is capable of. And And to be in possession of a couple of pounds of incandescent wetware known as the human brain is the greatest gift that exists in this, or conceivably, any other universe, my friends. Your brain is the greatest gift the universe is capable of, and you have the capacity to make more. Think of how much you consume that you can't make more of. Go watch a movie. Can you make a movie? Probably not. Go watch a play. Can you write like Shakespeare? Or Tennessee Williams? Or Samuel Beckett? Probably not. Statistically. Eh, so I haven't written much lately, neither has Shakespeare. Read a poem. Can you write beautiful poems? Probably not. Eat a great meal. Are you a fantastic cook? Are you a Cordon Bleu five-star Michelin chef? No, probably not.
[2:52] Go to a concert.
[2:53] Can you get 5,000 people to pay to listen to you sing? Probably not.
[2:58] Right?
[2:58] Probably not. Probably not.
[3:01] Listen to music.
[3:03] Can you write music that is beautiful? Probably not. Most of what you consume, you cannot create. You are a passive Pac-Man eating the glowing dots of other people's creativity. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm the same way. It's not a criticism, but it is a fact. But what is the one thing you can do to participate in the glorious creativity of the world? You can create something better than a movie or a song or a play or an equation, or a book, or a haiku. You can create infinite creativity. You can create independent, immortal human thought, because as you pass your genes and your instruction down to the next generation and they continue to do it on, your thoughts, your influence become immortal.
[3:55] You can live forever. You can create not something which other people consume. You can create something that itself creates. From four billion years ago, when the first sparks of life arose for the next billions and billions of years, you can keep the torch, the flame, going.
[4:15] Four billion years of struggle, your ancestors fought and failed and screwed and ate and slept and dodged and hunted, and were preyed upon to give you with shaking, trembling hands, shaking, trembling hands, they give you the flickering fire of life, of thought, of reason, of dreams, of creativity, of success and failure, worry and triumph, laughter, tears, and everything in between. From the first single-celled organism, through the fish, the amphibians, the reptiles, the mammals, all the way up to you, passed like a baton. Like a single flickering candle in a rainy storm, you have been passed from fin to claw to tentacle to pour, to hand, to you. Four billion years, a chain of flickering life given to you as the recipient of a gift fueled by absolutely unfathomable and incomprehensible suffering. you.
[5:34] Have been given this gift
[5:35] And you being the recipient of this gift have a responsibility.
[5:43] To keep it
[5:45] Going 4 billion years millions and millions of generations and struggle to give you life the greatest gift there is and you can make more in just a couple of minutes.
[5:58] Ha ha ha ha
[6:01] Many years ago, I made a movie and showed the movie at the Hollywood Film Festival.
[6:06] And a famous director,
[6:08] I think it was Norman Jewison, a famous director gave a speech. And he said, so this is what it's like to make a movie. You wait for years for the right script. You wait for years for the right actors to become available. You spend months scouting locations. Finally, everything is all together. You spend years getting financing and distribution rights. And finally, finally, you are there shooting the scene. You waited for years to shoot. And then the director of photography says, ooh, we're losing the light. We only have time for one take. Years comes down to a finger snap in a moment. Ah, four billion years to give you the guttered, flickering gift of life. And you can make it. You don't have to spend like Norman Jewison. You don't have to spend years waiting for the funding, years waiting for the actress, years waiting for the script. You can go and make life. Well, I don't know about you, but I would say a good cozy half an hour. But for a lot of people, it's two minutes.
[7:10] Two minutes. Maybe 90 seconds, if it's been a while. And the process of creating art, I can tell you this personally, the process of creating art is really difficult. Time-consuming, expensive, stressful, with flickering moments of joy. Creating life is a massive amount of cascading fun, a tsunami of orgasmic bliss, let us say. You can make life, and you must. This is not even morally optional, if you can. Some people can't. This is not dedicated to those. 10% of married couples struggle with infertility, so none of this is dedicated to those. I sympathize. I empathize.
[7:54] So this is for those who can, but won't. And don't waste everybody's time by quoting the exceptions. I mean, I think you should lift weights. Well, what about people without arms?
[8:08] Sand in the Vaseline. Some people, that's all they are is sand in the Vaseline. So if you were to inherit 50 million dollars that your ancestors did not win in the lottery, but fought and scraped and sacrificed and worked hard for and bled to the bone for, and died for, and fought for, for you to inherit blood-spattered bone marrow-drewin fifty million dollars, that it took ten generations of incredibly hard and brutal labor and sacrifice and war for your family to accumulate fifty million dollars. What is your responsibility if you inherit fifty million dollars?
[8:51] Well, your
[8:53] Responsibility is to.
[8:55] Not blow it.
[8:58] Don't waste it.
[8:59] Don't blow it.
[9:00] Don't feed it to useless online purchases of crap that accumulates to be thrown out when you're dead. Your purpose is, okay, maybe, just maybe, you don't have to increase it. Maybe, that's a bare minimum. At least, you know, keep pace with inflation or something like that. Maybe, just maybe, you can get away with not increasing it.
[9:22] But at least if you inherit $50 million of incredibly hard, brutal labor and capital accumulation, maybe you could at least hand the equivalent of $50 million forward. Because if you inherit your entire family's hard and bloody won labor and value and capital and wealth, and you blow it, you are nothing more than a complete selfish asshole. You're kind of a predatory monster, feeding off the sacrifices of your ancestors and your family. For what? For mindless, hedonistic, stupid consumption in the here and now, for accumulating a bunch of crap that surrounds you instead of loved ones when you get old and die. And you die looking at a bunch of unopened Amazon boxes that will be buried with you in an endless grave of bottomless regret, waste, futility, and stupidity. It's not morally optional to have children. All these people, oh my gosh, I try to be patient.
[10:34] I usually fail, but I try,
[10:36] I try. All these people who will, I love my life. Children would interfere with it. I'm having a great time here, children would get in the way.
[10:49] Yes, that's right. Enjoy and flourish because of the sacrifices of your parents, and don't pay it forward at all. Accumulate it all for your own hedonistic joy.
[11:00] A fundamental question is if you enjoy life, but you don't want to have children, because it would interfere with that enjoyment.
[11:08] You could go back in time, would you tell your parents the same thing? Oh, mom and dad, or should I say, pre-mom and dad, married, married guys, husband and wife. You know, having me will interfere with the shallow, selfish, stupid joys of your existence. So don't make the beast with two backs unprotected. Don't do a spray and pray. Wear protection. Because, oh, mother and father, in order to preserve the joys of your existence, in order to preserve the joys of your existence, oh mother and father, oh mater and pater, you should not have me, I should not exist. If your selfishness went back even one generation, you wouldn't be here to have fun. It's not about you and your little nerve endings and your little dopamine and your little neurotransmitter tickles of transitory pleasure. It's not what it's about. If even one of your ancestors going back four billion years had been hedonistic, you wouldn't be here. If you relish life, if you enjoy life, even if you just appreciate life.
[12:21] Even if that's
[12:22] All you do is like, yeah, on the whole, it's a plus. I wouldn't give it an A, but I wouldn't give it an F. It's good enough. It's fine.
[12:31] It's fine.
[12:32] Then it's a plus for you. And if it's a plus for you, and you appreciate the sacrifices of your ancestors in order to have you, then pay it the fuck forward.
[12:45] Be selfish, don't consume, and ask yourself this.
[12:50] If my ancestors, wallowing in mud, having to have sex with people disfigured with smallpox, riddled with lice, who hadn't bathed for a year and had never really been exposed to, say, soap or dental care or toothbrushes, where plagues regularly took out significant portions of the population, and warmongers, Cossacks, Vikings, and Genghis Khan's men would regularly blow across the countryside in fields of fire and rape, where they were oppressed by the Lord and would be tortured and murdered for killing one rabbit on the Lord's lands and were bought and sold on the land as serfs or perhaps slaves like the basest livestock we could conceive of. Go back in time with me, my friends. Let us go on a journey back to, it doesn't even have to be that far away. Let's go back five, six hundred years to the Quattrocento. Later middle ages, high middle ages. Go back in time and say, yeah, okay, I get it, I get it. You had to bury half your children.
[14:03] You regularly died of tooth decay.
[14:07] You have no anesthetic for operations, and going to a doctor is more likely to kill you than save you. And you struggle to raise your children, and you struggle to live, and you've got long winters, and you are half-staffed half the time, and you go through all of this struggle and all of this sacrifice. Oh, ancestors of mine, for what? To what end, for what purpose? So that I can stay home, not procreate, touch myself, play video games, and die alone. Though my life is infinitely more comfortable than yours, and though you lived on the modern equivalent of $500 a year, already adjusted for inflation, I know how to do that. You lived on a dollar and change a day, and I live on $100 a day or $500 a day and have access to the kind of conveniences that you couldn't even dream of. Despite the fact that I have infinitely more wealth and infinitely more comfort and infinitely more travel and infinitely more opportunities. Despite the fact that you had to marry the local plump leftover girl in your village or farming community, and I can span the entire world looking for a mate. Despite all of that.
[15:19] Despite the fact that I'm almost certain to not die in childbirth. Despite the fact that I'm almost certain to be able to raise my children to adulthood safely, despite the fact that I could turn a handle in my house and get fresh, clean water. I have air conditioning, a fridge, a stove, a grocery store, a freezer.
[15:45] The fact that
[15:45] I can coast along on a horseless carriage and go pretty much anywhere I want to for pennies on the mile. Despite the near-infinite comforts that I receive and enjoy relative to your endless suffering, when you brought forth children and buried half of them, I won't bring forth even one. Even one. You, coughed and wretched and vomited and bled, to pass down the generations to me, life itself, the greatest gift in the universe. The only atoms in the universe that even know what a gift is or what I'm saying, what I'm reasoning, what I'm arguing. You gave me the greatest gift of life so I could do nothing with it.
[16:32] And I could kill
[16:33] Off a four billion year line of suffering. Because, I suppose, at times, children can be a little inconvenient. You had ten children in a time of plague. I can't have one. In a time of near-infinite comfort, your hardness and your resolution, and your strength and your dedication, was apparently forged in fire, blood, and suffering so that I could be soft, somewhat loathsome, lazy, inconsequential, and a de facto absent murderer of the longest lineage of life.
[17:19] No, it's difficult. It's, you know, children are too expensive. It's inconvenient. You know, I need a big house. Every child has to have his own room.
[17:29] I mean, come on.
[17:32] Your ancestors had children in wartime. Well, we're not as rich as the boomers, you know. Housing prices are up. Groceries are totally expensive.
[17:45] Really?
[17:46] So, okay, yeah, the boomers were the richest generation in human history. Sure, okay, I get that. Largely through pillaging the unborn through national debt, but let's just take the surface level. Yes, the boomers are the wealthiest you could say gen x is the second wealthiest maybe you're gen z, so maybe maybe maybe out of four billion years of life you happen to have pulled the extremely long short straw of being i don't know maybe the second or fourth or third wealthiest generation in four billion years what do you mean i won the lottery but i only came in third That sucks.
[18:25] I'm broke Stop it,
[18:30] Snap out of it Go back to your ancestors Swallowing in the mud Under the lash of the lords And say to them Well, you see, I don't have enough money To have children, This is how I doubt that there is a before life. Because if your ancestors were still around and could do anything in some ghostly spiritual form, they would hunt down and haunt your lazy ass. For daring to loftily explain to the world that you can't afford to have children when they lived on spider venom and tree bark during the time of plague. Well, it's true that sometimes you had to eat goose feathers to try and at least pretend that you were having a meal. Sometimes you did have to have bark soup, sure, and sometimes you had to experiment with those strange bushes way up yonder, with those really multicolored berries, because you had just needed something.
[19:31] You had this late-stage-into-the-wild, concave belly.
[19:35] But I'd rather have the latest iPhone than bring life into existence. Have some gratitude, people, people, people. Have some gratitude. Have some humility. Have some sense of something larger than yourself, your hedonism, your petty posse mortal life, your little nerve endings that tickle you into doing certain things and avoiding other things. Stop being a little machine, pursuing pleasure, avoiding discomfort like any amoeba. Don't be a bug man, don't be a bug woman. Be something larger than yourself because you only exist because of something larger than yourself called four billion years of life and struggle. You are a tiny speck of dirt on the end of a fingernail of an infinite giant called life. And life only struggled to produce you so that you could produce more life. Don't be the recipient of four billion years of stress and strife and struggle for the sake of achieving sterile floating dots on a pixelated screen. I got a new helmet in Warcraft!
[20:57] You go and make
[20:57] Life and bond and raise children and teach them virtue and watch their incredible creativity and tell them stories and laugh and tickle and chase and live and grow and stop making these sad-ass excuses. But, but, but, but I don't care. Life doesn't care, you understand, that you are handed all of these excuses to not have children by the enemies of reason. Because the fact that you would even process these excuses means that you're smarter than your average bear, although dumber, because at least the bear has sex and reproduces. You're just psyopped. You're just the recipient of propaganda. Oh, got to worry about overpopulation.
[21:46] Yeah, right.
[21:47] Because the world is totally overpopulated with caring and intelligent people. I don't have enough money. Children are expensive. So what you're saying is that your parents should have chosen money over you. That you should not exist, but some made-up digital fiat bullshit should have been typed into your parents' bank account instead. Every excuse you give to not have children is an argument that you.
[22:14] Should not exist.
[22:16] You understand? It is a form of retroactive of suicide. Everything you say as to why you shouldn't have children is exactly applicable to your parents and why they shouldn't have had children. And just, if you're going to be that selfish, just be honest. But just don't lie about it. Just be honest about it. That's all I'm asking. It's I'm begging you for. Just say, look, I'm a selfish prick who's hoarding all of the value of four billion years of struggle so that I can have life, but I'm too lazy and selfish to pay it forward. I just want to smoke weed, rub one out, and play a video game. That's what my ancestors struggled for, so that I could waste away the greatest gift in the universe on petty, retarded hedonism. Just be honest. Don't say that there's reasons. Don't say you're being rational. Don't insult your ancestors by saying, it's impractical. Bullshit. This is the most practical time in human history to have children. Imagine you spend a day in your ancestors' life, they spend a day in yours, what would they give to have your life for one day?
[23:22] Your day is heaven to them. Their day is hell to you, but you say it's too difficult to procreate to continue the line.
[23:33] Find the right person.
[23:34] Simple solution, my friends. Lower your ridiculous, vainglorious standards. High standards are just an excuse for inaction. Well, I'll get a job when somebody pays me a million dollars a minute to play a video game. Then I'll get a job. I have standards, you know. I don't want to settle for any job that's less than that, okay? Then just, you're unemployed. Saying you'll never settle is implying that you're so absolutely perfect that no one would have to settle for your lazy ass, your deluded standards. And I say this with sympathy. Lord knows I've made these mistakes myself at times in life, so I say this with hard-owned wisdom, humility, and great sympathy, but I'm still going to say it straight.
[24:15] Because this is the
[24:16] Kind of stuff you should have been told by your elders. Now that I'm pushing 60, I consider myself in the vicinity of elderhood. Ah, when I look down, all I see are elderberries. go forth, and multiply, or we all stay divided.
[24:36] Thank you for your patience.
[24:37] Thank you for letting me have my rant on. I'm happy to take your questions and your comments. Let's see, does anybody want to talk? Yes. Let's go with Mad Mark. I expect only barking at this point. Just unmute. What's on your mind, my friend?
[24:56] To me first
[24:57] How's it going man it's
[24:59] Going well you don't need to give me small talk we're live on the air so hit me up.
[25:02] Fair enough i would just like to sing your praises about peaceful parenting as a father of two children i listened to you many years ago and changed the cycle of abuse
[25:14] That was wrought
[25:15] Upon me by my.
[25:16] Own parents so first of all thank you for that when it comes to having children and procreating that's something that i've been talking about for a really long time is that we are an unbroken chain going back to single-celled organisms 4 billion years ago, and how dare you waste that upon not having children and squander that gift that was given to you. I mean, you're much more eloquent about saying it than I, but let me also agree with you there. I actually don't really have anything that I'm disagreeing
[25:45] With you here, man.
[25:46] I was looking for something, honestly, that I could point out. There was something that you said that's unrelated earlier on Twitter that I was kind of, I took odds with, if I could explore that for a second. Of course. You were talking about how getting
[26:00] Fat in a relationship
[26:01] Is worse than cheating, because at least
[26:03] You could hide cheating. No, I said in some ways. I'm not saying it's absolutely worse, but in some ways it's worse. And somebody made a comment, which is to say that if you're out there with your wife and one of you is cheating, nobody knows. But if your wife gets fat, particularly in the business world, you're judged by your partner. I don't know if you've worked. I hate to sort of like, you know, challenge any status nonsense, but when you work at sort of the highest levels of business, at the board level, at the CXO level, you're going to be judged by your wife. And it is a career-limiting move. In fact, it kind of cripples your career to have a fat wife for most men. So it's a very big deal. Just, you can't hide it. Sorry, go ahead.
[26:42] And I would just point out that there's many debilitating and crippling things that happen within a relationship when the partner cheats that are, I'm like, if you're unattracted to someone, yeah, that's bad for the relationship. When you lose trust and there's like that kind of damage and trauma that happens from a thing like that, I find that to be way worse.
[27:01] Well, but they're not unrelated, of course, right? Because let's just sort of take the typical example, though it certainly happens the other way, that the woman puts on 100 pounds after marriage. Actually, I knew a guy many years ago. He married his wife. She was like a buck 15. And when they finally divorced, she was 300 pounds. So she almost tripled. But let's just say put on 50, 75, 100 pounds. So, of course, that kills fertility. It doesn't kill it dead, but it interferes with fertility. It's harder to clean yourself when you're obese. It can give rise to strange odors and, in fact, even molds or fungi. And also, of course, if you love someone, you don't want to see them suffer, and obese people suffer both psychologically and physically, bad backs and bad knees and joint pain. And of course, if they get diabetes, that can be life-threatening. And of course, when you have a monopoly on your partner's sexual attention, right, in a monogamous relationship, particularly marriage, they can't go anywhere else for sex. And so if you become obese, and of course, for men, that would include things like erectile dysfunction.
[28:06] If you become obese, you have less energy, you're in more pain, so you're less in the mood for sex, you're less attractive, you're depressed, you're anxious, you don't like your own body, you're very self-conscious, right? The women who are like, the lights can't be on when I'm undressing, right? You're afraid to put a pole in the bedroom because it's going to take down the building. And so it's not unrelated. I mean, if a man is sexually satisfied at home, What are the odds he's going to go out and cheat? I mean, virtually zero. As Paul Newman used to say, with regards to his wife, Joanne Woodward, he's a famous, gorgeous, ice-blue-eyed actor from the 60s, who said, well, you've never cheated. He said, well, why would I go out for a hamburger when I've got steak at home?
[28:49] Obesity and cheating are not unrelated, if that makes sense.
[28:53] Yeah, no, it does. And then also with obesity comes early death because a lot of people who put on a bunch of weight don't live as long as you should. So then you're going to go through all the trauma and the stuff anyway.
[29:02] So there's a whole bunch of fun stuff. I mean, this week, my wife and I have gone on two hikes. We played an hour and a half of pickleball in a league. And, you know, we I mean, it's not hugely cardio based, but we had a rousing game of ping pong last night. So, I mean, you just can't do any active stuff. And it's more expensive because you've got to buy more and richer food. And it's, yeah, it's just wretched all around. And if you care about someone, you try and do what's best for them. And there's this woman posted on X, well, I love my husband and he's fat. I'm like, well, I'm not saying you don't love your husband, but if you really, really, truly cared about him in a practical way, you'd urge him to lose weight because obesity can take, you know, a lot of years off the lifespan. man. And, you know, if I got fat and my wife got fat, we'd say, no, no, no, I want to, I want to do old age with you. A lot of investment in marriages is preparing for the really old age stuff. So yeah, it's, it is really important.
[30:02] Yeah, man. Well, Ben, I just want to sing your praises again. I, I peaceful parents, my children, they're now 19 and 17 years old. We're, we're almost adults over here, man. So I appreciate what you do, man. And then I guess that's all I got to say
[30:16] That is that is the most canadian accent i've heard in a boot a boot a while so i.
[30:23] Appreciate that i'm actually south of there but i guess i have a bunch of canadian friends that i hang out with they kind of rub off
[30:28] On me excellent well you know that old joke like, what's the difference between american beer and sex in a canoe they're both effing close to water anyway so thanks vaka i appreciate it and i really appreciate that endorsement it's peacefulparenting.com. You got to go listen to this book. You can just listen to it. There's even an abbreviated version. There's a short form version. If you're strapped for time, you can read it, you can listen to it, and it's free. And now that the book is out and it's free, you will be responsible if you don't listen to it, not you in particular, but people as a whole. So thank you very much for your kind comments. Yeah, peacefulparenting.com. And let us, yes, Yes, I want to remove. Ta-dad! That's great. Ta-dad, what's on your mind, my friend?
[31:14] Hey, greetings from Alberta. First, I want to say I am so grateful for your work on peaceful parenting because I was not raised that way, and my son, who's about to turn 17, was raised as close as I could get to what you wrote down as your ideal. So that's my thanks. And my question is this.
[31:36] What's happening in Canada, and whether Alberta separates or not,
[31:40] Have you thought of the potential of what could be done if Alberta designed, even if it doesn't get implemented, a constitution that promoted actual freedom? Some of the things you've been discussing for decades.
[31:57] Yeah, Alberta is the most Canadian province because it's got an A at the beginning and an A at the end. So if I, I mean, if Alberta is serious about free speech, private property, liberty, borders, some kind of constitution, I would tunnel my way there before the ink was dry on the proposal. If it even seemed somewhat likely, I would spawn in, in a giant shimmer of libertarian crystals. So yeah, I'm keeping my eye on it. I know that there's a lot of petitions, There's a lot of interest. And Alberta is like the last vestige of common sense left in Canada. Unfortunately, the eastern provinces used to be that way. I spent an entire summer in Newfoundland with a marine biologist friend of my father's when I was in my teens, loved the people, but they have been bought and welfare bludgeoned into a slack-jawed submission to the feds. So I am really thrilled at what's going on in Alberta and keeping more than a close, beady eye on it.
[32:57] Well, before I let you go, I just want to say that my TAD are my son's initials, DAD is me as dad.
[33:06] Just so you know where this is coming from,
[33:08] My regulatory board, if I put my name out there, then they look at everything. But if you look at who Danielle Smith beat in 2009 to be the leader of the Wild Rose Alliance, you'll know my name. And so if you're ever coming out here, reach out to me because I am happy to give you the background. And you're right. If it doesn't happen in Alberta, it's not going to happen in Canada. Thank you for everything you do. I'm glad you're back on X. I'm glad they let you back on YouTube. And it was a crime against humanity when they deleted your thousands of hours of philosophy. And I appreciated whatever aspects of it that I was able to hear before they deleted it. So thank you so much, sir.
[33:57] Well, I appreciate that. I just want to clarify one thing. I'm not allowed back on YouTube.
[34:02] I think some people are uploading my videos there, but my channel has not been restored. And I assume as a result, I'm not personally allowed back, even though I think close to 400,000 people looked at my request for YouTube to review the banning and so on. Because, yeah, I mean, I'm in good standing in just a wide variety of other platforms. And it, of course, is my absolute certainty that I did not violate their terms of service because nothing was ever explained to me, of course. Right. So I doubt that they're still reviewing it and I don't have much hopes, but technically I'm not back on YouTube, which is neither here nor there. I just wanted to sort of clarify that. All right. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. Should I take my courage bloodbath and something? All right, let's do it. Okay.
[34:46] Bloodbath and beyond.
[34:47] Oh, I get it. I wasn't sure if you were like some crypto fascist space traveler or something like that. But yes, that's pretty funny.
[34:55] Actually.
[34:56] Bloodbath and Beyond, if you want to unmute, I'm happy to hear what you have to say.
[35:00] Oh, sure. Thank you for having me on, Stefan.
[35:03] I kind of disagree. I've actually been a fan of yours for like eight years.
[35:07] There's plenty of areas where I do agree with you, and there's some areas where I disagree. So one of the things I disagree with you would be on hedonism. I'd say that delayed gratification, you're simply delaying more petty amounts of hedonism, like just small distractions for larger amounts of hedonism long-term.
[35:28] And you're choosing that larger dopamine spike over more small petty ones usually
[35:34] So when i yeah sorry but when i critique hedonism i'm not saying don't ever have pleasure i'm not a masochist right so when i say hedonism i'm talking about sacrificing long-term happiness and integrity for the sake of short-term bursts of pleasure like a drug addict right i mean he.
[35:54] Knows drug addicts like they actually gain like really big spikes in dopamine. So let's say how much fluid is this, for example, like you would gain a much larger testosterone and dopamine spike through fornication than you would through just looking at porn. Now, I'm sure it does cost a lot more money, like 200, 400.
[36:16] Wait, sorry, are you talking about, sorry, are you talking about you gain more pleasure from sex with prostitutes than from masturbation to pornography. Is that your argument?
[36:27] It's not even just that. Let's suppose you wanted to pay someone to be your wife.
[36:31] No, no, no. Hang on. You said two to four. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. You said two to four hundred dollars an hour. Now, I don't know how expensive your wife is, but that's a lot. I assume by two to four hundred dollars an hour, you were talking about prostitutes.
[36:47] Well, this is how I look at it. Marriage and relationships, those are long-term prostitution contracts. Generally, when you buy in bulk, things tend to scale down per hour.
[36:59] So you think that marriage is about paying for sex?
[37:03] Marriage, it's in itself a long-term prostitution contract, and the illusion that...
[37:08] No, it's not. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. hang on. What is the difference between paying a woman for sex and funding a family? What is the primary difference there? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. That's a difference of degree. What is the difference of kind? Well, it's not just more or less of something. It's a foundational difference. What is the big difference between sex with a prostitute, paying for sex with a prostitute, and a man funding a family? There we go. Okay, got it. Got it. Okay, so you are, as a father, as a husband... No, I know you're not a dad.
[37:54] All husbands have children, though.
[37:56] Okay, let's not do edge cases. The institution of marriage exists for the protection and provision of children. That's what it's for. Now, I mean, the road exists so cars can drive on it. That doesn't mean that bicyclists can't drive on it either. It's just not for bikes. So marriage exists for the provision of resources for the raising of children. A man is not paying for his wife to have sex with him. A man is funding the continuation of his bloodline through children. And children require resources. and the first resource that children require is somebody to take care of them, especially when they're very young, you know, getting up at night, breastfeeding, and so on, right? So the man is not funding his wife to have sex with him. He is funding the continuation of his line through the provision of resources to his children.
[38:43] So it's not even close to what's going on with the prostitute. It's not even in the same category. Oh, did we lose him? You're muted, bro.
[38:50] No, it's like, that's a difference in perspective I really haven't heard,
[38:54] So. Okay, it's not a difference in perspective. I'm not just looking at it from a slightly different angle, right? Why does a man provide resources to his wife and children?
[39:06] Lot of perspective. It's an argument.
[39:07] It's valid or it's invalid. If it's invalid, right, we can do some thinking on the fly. We don't have to rehearse everything.
[39:12] Some people would say marriage is like a union of some sort. I'm like, I consider that like pretty much on par, same thing, practically as a contract.
[39:22] Well, yes, there's an implicit contract in marriage, and there is in fact an explicit contract, though not necessarily legally enforceable, which are the marriage vows. But yeah, for sure. I mean, the woman gives up economic independence in return for resources which allow her to raise children. The man gives up sexual polygamy and 90% of his money in order to provide for his children. So this has nothing to do with paying a woman for sex. That's not even close. So marriage is nothing to do with...
[39:51] In this scenario, though, considering that you are giving up so much money and you create children through sex.
[39:57] Yes, but you're not paying a woman for sex. No, no, no, no, no, no, let me finish my point. You are not paying a woman for, sex because most of the money goes to the children. You are paying for someone to have children with who you love and appear bonded with, and you are paying because somebody has to raise the children, and either the children are raised by strangers, in which case you lose control over what they're taught and the values that they receive. And you don't just have biological children, you have a reproduction of values, of virtues. So you choose a woman who matches your virtues and values, and you pay for her to stay home and raise your children so you get the benefit of biological reproduction and mimetic or value reproduction. So you are paying for the continuation of your values and of your genetics. You can't, that's not, a prostitute has nothing to do with that whatsoever.
[41:00] Like, you can just buy their own morals in that way because it's like they're a prostitute, so.
[41:06] I have no idea what that means. What do you mean by buy their own morals? This, this, hang on. But it, come on, let's be honest emotionally, man.
[41:13] My argument bothers you, right? It upsets you.
[41:16] It's like.
[41:17] It bothers you. Be honest. It annoys you.
[41:22] Well, why? Why?
[41:25] It doesn't really bother me, I would say. it's like, I just have like some cognitive
[41:30] Dissonance with like where I'm just like. No, but it's cognitive. And listen, it's not a critique. There's tons of arguments that bother me too. So this is not a criticism or anything like that. But cognitive dissonance arises because the argument troubles you emotionally.
[41:42] Troubles me emotionally. I'm just like, I mean like.
[41:44] Bro, bro, you're not, listen, with all due respect, man, you're, I mean, either you're not being honest with yourself or you're not being honest with me. And I'll tell you why. Hang on, hang on. And when I say I tell you why, this means I'm going to talk, right? But let me ask you a question first. You don't have to give me your exact age, but it sounds like you're.
[42:02] In your 20s.
[42:03] Yes. Okay. Early, mid, or late?
[42:06] 28.
[42:07] 28. Okay. What is the most successful romantic relationship that you've had, and how long did it last?
[42:14] Like, what even counts as a relationship?
[42:17] Monogamous sexual contact that is sustained.
[42:21] Like a week.
[42:22] Okay. So you have.
[42:24] Honestly, I felt violated by the woman. She didn't wash out her pussy. She enjoyed it more than me. And then I broke up with her later on. I was like, damn, shouldn't have lowered my standards.
[42:33] Okay. I'm obviously sorry to hear that. And I hope you get tested. But here's the thing. Why, the reason why my argument bothers you is this. What kind of quality woman do you think you can get to commit to you if you go around spouting off that marriage is just a form of prostitution? Your perspective is costing you. Sorry?
[42:59] One that's honest, real, and price-based in terms of decision-making.
[43:03] Yeah, but that's not what you got. That's not what you got. what you got was a skank with the dirty whatever.
[43:12] Honestly, she wasn't even a hoe.
[43:14] Okay, so it's your theory that you get some honest woman with virtue and integrity, and that's not working. It's not working because your most successful relationship is somewhere where you needed some kind of alien life-form decontamination chamber after you had bad sex. So it's not working.
[43:37] I would say, like,
[43:38] I just lowered my standards too much.
[43:40] Well, I would also argue that she lowered her standards because I'm telling you, bro. I mean, you can take it from me. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Hang on, young guy. Listen, listen. An elder is trying to teach you something to bring you happiness. Can you stop talking for 30 seconds? Just try listening to someone who might be a tiny bit wiser because he's been married for almost a quarter century very happily raised a kid had success in the world so maybe this is a time where.
[44:18] You can listen can you do that
[44:21] Woman, a woman of genuine virtue, honesty, and integrity, will avoid you like the plague if you say the best thing a woman can be is a whore. The most honest, no, my God, can you shut up for 10 seconds? Just give me 10 seconds. Because you just said you could, and then you started again. If you want a virtuous, quality woman in your life, you're going to have to reformulate your predatory view of women and recognize that, yes, there are some predatory women out there, there are predatory men. But there are good women out there, women of honor and integrity and virtue and courage, dedication, loyalty, love, affection, great parenting skills, great household running skills, great partnership skills that will make you a better man. I say this from personal experience. Having been raised by a crazed and violent single mother, I've been very happily married to a wonderful woman for a quarter century. If I had told her, when we first started seeing each other, that all women were prostitutes and marriage was just institutionalized whoredom, would she have continued to date me? Now you can talk.
[45:39] It depends how rich you were.
[45:41] Okay. All right. I tried. I tried. You just want to hang on to this. I'm very sorry for that. And thank you for your conversation All right Oh Lord We have a word salad of Oh Lord Wooshiek Wooshiek Need Needs wheeze, What's on your mind my friend You're going to need to unmute If you have muted And I'm all ears, twice yes sir.
[46:08] Hello okay uh cheers from beautiful poland i'm actually the guy who was on one of your calling shows uh this must have been like four five years ago i was singing some elvis i don't know but okay so that was one thing i would say second is missing that american deer is effing close to water fun fact united states is the only country in the world that produces all kinds of beers. So like every beer style you can think of is in the USA, including some of the beers which for historical reasons need to be like brewed in...
[46:55] Okay, I'm a little... Sorry, with all due respect, and I hope you watched my documentary on Poland, I'm a little confused as to why we're defending American beer because I made one casual joke that isn't even particularly serious. Is there a philosophical question that you had that you wanted to talk about?
[47:10] I just wanted to share a factoid,
[47:12] I guess. Okay, well, I appreciate that. I suppose... I wasn't opposing him, Richard. No, that's fine. I suppose American beer can consider itself ably defended by our good friend from Poland. And yeah, if you haven't seen my documentary on Poland, you can go to freedomain.com slash documentaries for that. And now, Katie, I think we talked yesterday or the day before. Mastermind. That's a great way to put it. If you want to unmute, I'm all ears. Experience with these kinds of conversations. It feels odd. It feels like there's always this odd pause when I invite people. But all right, we will remove him. Gave it a shot. And no, Tim H. Yeah, I don't know why. If you want to talk, be ready to talk. And the reason is because I don't want to do a whole lot of editing post-production. Like I don't want to have to, oh, this person had a pause and I got to go in. Like just, you know, it's not a big operation here at Free Domain. So if you could just do me a solid, and if you want to talk and it's a free conversation about philosophy, at least have the good manners and good grace to be ready to talk. All right, Tim, what's on your mind? Thanks for the mic.
[48:19] Stefan, long-time fan. Just a quick question, I guess more of an observation on my part and whether or not you feel it ties in. Unresolved childhood trauma. I've seen a lot of it throughout my life, and I've seen some people operate in a fashion where they actually address it head on, they get help for it, whether it be through
[48:39] Therapy or other
[48:40] Mechanisms. And then there's those who just try to tough it out. And I've seen that there's been different results for both. Therapy doesn't always work for everybody, but my observations have shown me that unresolved childhood trauma is a major impact on our society right now. And I'm just curious whether or not you share that opinion and whether you have any ideas about how we could try to, I guess, resolve that to a certain degree to try to make our society a more healthy place.
[49:07] I mean, I think.
[49:08] I appreciate your kind words.
[49:09] I think it's entirely honorable and wise for you to focus on this issue. And people avoid resolving childhood trauma because it is inconvenient to those who traumatize them. And it's not cowardly, like when we grow up, we have to please our parents. We evolve to please our parents. Of course, it's important to remember that we evolved in a time of extreme danger and scarcity. And if there were six kids and you were the least favorite of those children, you might not get food, you might not get protection, you might be left behind or, you know, not too close to the fire. You might not have even just parents being around can scare off predators. So we had to please our parents. And so we evolved to do it that way. Or to put it another way, the children who did not evolved to please their parents had a lower chance of surviving to reproductive age. So we are programmed to please our parents. And if our parents demand subjugation and that they exploit us, that they beat us, that they scream at us, that we become sort of poison containers for their own screwed up emotions, we do that. We just have to. We don't really have much of a choice as children. And then going against that as adults goes against our instincts. And of course, those who've harmed and exploited us don't want us to gain wisdom, virtue, independence, and integrity, and they certainly don't want to be judged morally for what they did, because lot of people who abuse, dominate and humiliate others, and therefore they can't stand being humiliated and they view moral questioning or.
[50:35] Skepticism or Socratic
[50:36] Questioning as humiliating and they want to blow up again, but they don't have the same power over you when you're an adult. So for me, it's just about like virtue is more important than anything. Virtue and honesty and truth and integrity are more important than nation, family, neighborhood, race, sex, anything, right? I mean, that is the purpose of philosophy, is to bring reason to people so they can be virtuous, so they can be happy. So, just telling people that you have to be honest in relationships or you don't have a relationship. If all you're doing is conforming and being gaslit, it's not a relationship. If all you're doing is biting your tongue and not saying what you think and feel, then you don't have a relationship. And not only do you not have that relationship, but because you have that habit, all honest and direct relationships are denied to you. If you are around, say, family members and you bite your tongue because they're going to blow up or yell or scream at you or humiliate you or ostracize you, then you don't have a relationship with them because you're not being honest. But also, you don't have a relationship with anyone else, really, because those habits are so strong and ingrained that it's too stressful for you to be honest. And so it is extremely costly to ghost yourself just to be around people who harm you and just to remind people that they don't have to be like that at all.
[52:00] And honesty is the most important thing because every lie you take doesn't extend your life. It doesn't make you closer to people. It just is, in general, subtracted from your life as a whole. So I hope that helps. And thank you for the question. We do have a bunch of folks. So, our good friend, Connor. Connor, how are you.
[52:22] Buddy brother, mes amis?
[52:26] Be that guy don't be that guy who doesn't talk yes sir how's it going.
[52:31] Magical thank you Stefan sorry as soon as what happens as soon as you activate someone as a speaker the sound cuts out as it transitions from normal sound to speaker phone so maybe sometimes when you call people names it might mute for a second so i do apologize no problem speak with you again after after last year uh we spoke on formerly on lotusus.com um wait wait wait give
[52:53] The website again give the website again that was a rapid marketing ploy go.
[52:57] Ahead uh yes it was uh my my former show on lotus eaters.com i had the privilege of interviewing stefan about peaceful parenting the present his career etc and
[53:08] Sorry sorry just i hate to interrupt again but just for those of you who aren't from england lotus eaters refers to lotus eaters there are some subtleties funny because british people like their teas except in their language so lotus eaters is lotus eaters just so people don't understand. If they don't understand the gloss will stop, they'll be very confused. But sorry, go ahead.
[53:27] Yes, you escaped our wonderful country with all of your consonants and vowels intact. My question actually pertains to a previous speaker, almost the inverse, the chap who couldn't understand the value of marriage beyond prostitution. I hope he discovers the inverse because it would be a sad and lonely life otherwise. I'm actually getting married on Saturday.
[53:47] No way. Hang on, hang on. I'm just diving. Hang on. I'm just diving into my inbox. Diving into my inbox wedding invites let me just have a look scan scan scan oh come on man i can you imagine i'd give a fairly decent wedding wedding speech wouldn't i but of course i think i think if i think i would i'd go straight from heathrow airport to the tower of london based on my tweets but anyway go on i'll.
[54:12] Be joining you there soon enough i was i was just wondering if for newlyweds, what your condensed advice would be, because I shall be taking it very much to heart.
[54:24] Massive congratulations. I'm sure that you and your
[54:26] Bride are both very lucky to have each other and wonderful. Best wishes for embarking on the most beautiful journey of life, which is life with someone you love. Having a best friend and a wonderful romantic and sexual partner for the rest of your life is beyond delightful. And I wish it for everyone and so on. Regarding the previous caller, just before I get to that advice, you know, it's kind of funny. And I know that there are these big forks in the road.
[54:51] And, you know, this guy got to really put forth his theory of men and women and life and marriage and sex and money. And unfortunately, he's just going to go through probably the rest of his life without anyone directly trying to body block him from this nihilism. And it always surprises me when I'm pretty emphatic with people to try and save their soul, so to speak, and they just then repeat the same propaganda because change in people who are willing to confront you on your false ideals is not common. It is very rare, and it is kind of a now or never moment, and I really, really feel bad when people blow that moment. And the demons that have their hearts and their grip, they can't fight them off and don't even really seem to try. So that was just a very sad moment for me. I just want to sort of share on that. I'm sort of barreling forward in the show for the sake of these conversations, but it's very sad to see that fork in the road and the absolute love.
[55:45] Path taken. So, with regards to marriage, so I was sort of raised, and I think this is still somewhat common, that men and women are kind of the same, just with different genitals. You've got an Audi and you've got an Innie, but men and women are kind of the same. It's not true. We are different and complementary. And so, after I got married, my wife was talking about something and what needed to be done in the home. And, you know, like most bachelors, I lived with a broken futon and a table made out of bricks and a plank of wood. So I was perfectly fine. We'd still be in caves if it was up to men. We'd be in caves with mysterious black, big screen TVs, but we'd still be in caves. And so I just looked at her, I'm like, wow, you were foundationally different from me.
[56:33] And recognizing that was really important for me because in marriage, if you grew up with this ideology that men and women are kind of the same, then you think, well, I wouldn't do it that way. So that has to be sort of incorrect. Or we have to find one way to do it. And you don't. She's going to have her skills, strengths, and abilities. You're going to have, you obviously, you know, your strengths, skills, and abilities. They don't really have to overlap at all. In fact, it's kind of important that they don't. So there's going to be stuff where she has authority and there's going to be stuff where you have authority. You know, if my wife says, apparently, apparently rooms just need to change color every couple of years. I didn't even know that. I mean, I still have the same wallpaper that came on with my computer. So if she says this room needs to be freshened up, I don't know why. I don't comprehend it. I do it. And it's nice.
[57:26] It's the great mystery of day pillows and little clamshell soaps that are wrapped in plastic that you're not supposed to touch, and why we need infinity towels. I don't know. I don't know. And if it was my house, there wouldn't be lovely potted plants in the front of the house, and a nice little trim with some bushes. I mean, it's beautiful. Lovely. Absolutely lovely. It would never cross my mind. Honestly, I've seen it. Architectural Digest, high-end movies with pretty people. I don't get I don't, but it's really nice. And so she runs all of that stuff. In the same way, if I say to her, I need a microphone of some kind, she's like, okay. She doesn't understand it, and she doesn't even want to understand it, and I'm not sure I could explain it in a way that would make the kind of sense to her that it does to me.
[58:15] But...
[58:16] This works. So never be afraid to divide labor in a marriage. There's going to be stuff that she cares about, that she's great at. Godspeed.
[58:24] Give her all
[58:25] Of that and more. And at the same time, there's going to be stuff that you are good at and you care about, and she should give you Godspeed in those directions. And once you kind of divvy up the division of labor, it's fantastic. You can't imagine running a company where everybody had to have equal skills in programming and marketing and accounting and being a CEO and contract law. Everybody's got to divide their labor for a business to be effective. And it's the same thing in marriage. You're going to look at her and you're going to say, you are a beautiful, incomprehensible space alien of joy. I do not understand ways in which your mind works sometimes, but the effects are always marvelous. And I'm sure that she'll have, as I've said before in the show, many times women are delightfully incomprehensible. And it's the same thing with women to men and we've evolved that way and so you know vive la difference as the french say enjoy and appreciate just the different approaches that you're going to take do not try to overlap on each other's area of areas of expertise and authority and i think that that for for me at least has virtually eliminated i mean i've been married for 23 years we've maybe had five or seven conflicts of any significance and they're always resolved within and an hour or two, we always end up closer afterwards. Relationships can be easy peasy, nice and easy. Just don't step on each other's toes and give each other freedom to pursue the passions that you both are best at. Does that make sense? I hope that that's not too long in rambling.
[59:50] Cool.
[59:51] Thank you very much. It sounds a lot like what Ivan Illich would call ambiguous complementarity, which is that the mystery between the sexes that can be, yes, a source of frustration, but also of joy. I think that misunderstanding is often evolving into hostility among types like that previous caller, who I think, I don't wish to psychoanalyze too much, but perhaps has been indulging in a little too much pornography and so can only see relationships in a sexual and transactional manner and not that sort of playful and emotional manner that you and I can, Stef. But if you do make your way over to England, eventually, and return to this sort of dystopic place, would love to buy you dinner sometime. Thank you for all you've done, sir.
[1:00:37] I appreciate it. And you said the former. Is it not still people not still finding you at lotusedrus.com?
[1:00:44] Yes, my colleagues are still continuing on with work in my stead. And they're doing some great stuff. Lots of philosophy over there. So I encourage people to check it out. but I'm just on YouTube these days and doing some journalism work elsewhere because other projects have pulled me away, but they're still great lads and some of them are indeed coming to the wedding.
[1:01:04] Beautiful. I'm sure it'll be a great time and congratulations on your marriage and let's move to preterite. Preterite? I always think of preternatural. And what's on your mind? Of.
[1:01:17] Course, I will
[1:01:17] Give you the civilized moment. Thank you, Connor, for explaining the text for me. I've never called into an X space before, but I hear rustles and bustles. So, Preacher, write what's on your mind.
[1:01:27] I wanted to ask you, what do you think the main kind of driving causal factors are behind the natality crisis in the developed world? And how do we go about addressing them?
[1:01:40] The collapsing birth rate, is that right?
[1:01:43] Yes.
[1:01:44] Well, the collapsing birth rate is not at all an accident. It's in general by design. There's a couple of factors, and then I'll sort of tie it all together in one bow of moral analysis. So, the most common factor of a collapsing birth rate is women's access to higher education. Now, of course, then it sounds like, well, women who are well-educated don't want to have children, but that's not the case. Education, higher education, particularly for women, is antinatalist indoctrination that makes them hostile to the providers and protectors of mankind, which is the males of the species. So access to higher education, what it does is women sleep around a lot, not all, of course, but a lot of women sleep around a lot in college, which means they get ghosted, which means that they are using the sexual subsidy or the subsidy of sexual access to gain access to higher quality men than will commit to them, right? A 10 man will sleep with a 6 woman, but he won't commit to her. And so, unfortunately, because a lot of women think that a man will have sex with them, that he will then commit to them, not the case. So they are told that men are exploiters and users, and then they go and hook men in with vagina access, and then they get ghosted by the men, and they're like, aha, it's true, men are terrible, and so on, which is why you should not get...
[1:03:02] In sexual relations with someone who's not already committed.
[1:03:05] Because it is a form, it's a drug, right? It means that you can get a higher status or more attractive man than you otherwise could. And then that recalibrates your expectations to the point where you can see this all over the place in social media. The women are constantly saying, oh, there aren't any attractive men around. Where are all of the attractive men? And it's like, well, what's happened is you've burned out your beauty retinas by staring at high status men and subsidizing sexual access with them, and then not getting commitment. And then you just don't see average looking men or above average looking men. You only see the tens. And so that's pretty bad. Then, of course, women are delaying having children. So the longer you can delay people settling down and getting married, the more you encourage promiscuity, STDs, and increasing ghosting and bitterness. And sexual access that results in failed relationships or non-relationships drive feminism because women feel exploited when they are, in fact, equally exploiting the men by subsidizing access with sexuality. So when you give women access to higher education, you delay marriage and children, and then you put women in debt, right? Because a lot of women, the majority, significant majority of student loans, debt is held by women. And when women graduate hostile to men, having had their pair bonding mechanisms ripped out by the roots with constant promiscuity and also significantly in debt. They are foundationally, as I say this with great sorrow, genuine, great deep and sorrow in my heart, they are unmarriable.
[1:04:30] And as you know, half of women relatively soon are going to be middle-aged, single, and unmarried.
[1:04:36] And it is a form of warfare. See, in traditional warfare, you kill people already born. In modern warfare, you.
[1:04:48] Your children from being born.
[1:04:49] And that is your decimation. That is your depopulation. Like a neutron bomb, it kills the people, believes the building standings. Propaganda is not directly violent because it prevents people from coming into being rather than waiting until they're already adults and then gassing or bombing or shooting them. And so when women get access to higher education, it delays marriage. It propagandizes women into being hostile towards men. It tears out their pair bonding by the roots with a series of successive and failed quote relationships, or as the new phrase goes, situationships. And then they graduate in debt, which men don't want to take on. And then the women feel like, well, I've just graduated.
[1:05:31] I've been in school forever. I think I'm going to go and travel. And then they go and travel. And then they often subsidize that travel with sexuality in other countries. And maybe they come back from that travel in debt or within sexually transmitted disease or with a whole other series of ghosted men that they can be bitter about and angry about and frustrated about. And then they say, well, geez, you know, I've done all this education. I've got to start my career. And then they get a job, which is mostly for the government. Women generally work for the government because the government and HR departments and all other sorts of email nonsense jobs are invented to keep women from reproducing. And then they're working all the time and they're trying to pay off their debt. And then they're tired and they're kind of embittered and they've had too many relationships and they've had their heart broken too many times. And then they hit all of this propaganda about the world is overpopulated and having children is irresponsible and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they just delay and defer and delay and defer and their standards are way too high and their sexual market has collapsed because of the lack of pair bonding and the excessive sexuality that they've experienced.
[1:06:27] And then they sail into their 30s and in their 30s, well, what is left?
[1:06:31] What is left in general is the detritus, the.
[1:06:37] The people that nobody wants, the people who are too oddly constituted or strange or weird or have fetishes or various addictions for men usually to pornography. For women, it can be an addiction to the female form of pornography, which is these weird novels with these vampiric lords with abs and infinite money glitches that sweep women off their feet who are just mid, right? I mean, this is the Christian Grey stuff from Fifty Shades of Grey, where this midwoman who works in a hardware door gets swept off her feet by a guy with a superb physique who flies helicopters, has a zillion dollars, and plays piano magnificently, and all she has to do is let him whip her with a beat-me-licorice whip, and everything is happily ever after. Or the twilight thing where a mid-girl suddenly, who's very immature, suddenly receives the fascinated attention of a 400-year-old man, which is as close to a story of pedophilia as you could possibly imagine.
[1:07:29] And so women are often addicted to this intense hypergamy stimuli of modern, quote, fiction. And again, that's just more of a depopulation agenda. Raise people's expectations to the point where they can't be satisfied and they can't pair bond and they'll never settle down. So to reverse all of this, I mean, it's both very simple in principle and very hard in practice. Like you like dieting. It's very simple in principle, right? Eat less than you burn and you'll lose weight, But it's hard to implement. And we simply have to commit as a society, as a species, the whole world over, we have to commit to solving social problems without violence.
[1:08:09] Sounds like a tall order,
[1:08:11] But all of these, everything that I'm describing is supported and maintained by the initiation of the use of force, the forced redistribution of wealth, the forced redistribution of jobs by forcing employers to hire people that they might not otherwise hire. And student debt, of course, is enforced through the state and the propaganda is designed to steer women. See, single women want bigger government, right? They're by far the biggest voters for the left in the West are single women, and therefore the left has every intention of keeping women single, which is why the poisonous anti-male ideology and the encouragement of promiscuity and all other things that keep women single is promoted because the left owns the major cultural and financial and educational institutions, and they want to crank out single women because single women vote for the protection of the state because they don't have protection of a husband. So, sorry, I know that was a long and complicated speech. Hopefully that makes some kind of sense, and I'm happy to hear your thoughts.
[1:09:09] Yeah, absolutely. Women control access to reproduction, so the onus isn't really on men here, I don't think. They're not the ones refusing to have children by and large. The question I wanted to pose to you is, do you think artificial wounds could potentially be a solution to the natality crisis?
[1:09:29] No, no, no, no, that's not going to happen. I mean, it may happen technically, but it's not going to solve the problem. Because there's no point for men to say, look, single moms are a negative because she'll, fathers, and then say, well, no, it's fine for children to grow up without mothers. We need mothers and fathers. Artificial wombs may solve the reproduction crisis, but it'll only defer at one generation because the kids raised in single-parent households have lower reproductive goals often because they didn't have a good time growing up. They didn't watch their single parent having a good time. And so, no, it is not a technological solution. It's a moral solution. We need to start committing to reducing the amount of coercion and social engineering that comes in from the power of the state. And if we can reduce the infliction of violence, coercion in the complicated issues of social problems, then we can begin to solve this in a very real and foundational way. Whatever the problem is in society, the answer is always the same. More freedom, less coercion. Less violations of the non-aggression principle and property rights, more freedom is always the answer, no matter what the question is. And while the technological leap of artificial wombs may solve particular technical aspects of it, we still need children to be raised with mothers and fathers as a whole.
[1:10:51] Absolutely. Thank you for your time, Stefan.
[1:10:53] Thank you. I appreciate that. All right, let's do one more. And we have, All right, I'm going to give you a civilized break. Thanks, Connor, for reminding me about the technicalities and un tanana what is on your mind my friend speak to me or forever hold your peace.
[1:11:14] It's good to hear you again after I guess so many years I have two questions for something the first which is similar to what our previous friend asked what do you think the impact of easy access to contraception has on birth rate so
[1:11:36] Know, obviously, foundationally, but I don't think that easy access to contraception would fundamentally alter birth rates. It would allow couples to manage when they had children. I don't know that it would fundamentally alter birth rates as a whole. You know, the big problem with the sort of coercive modern welfare state system is it has turned children from liabilities into assets. Children normally cost money, which means somebody has to be there to provide money, which means women need men in order to have families, which means women get married. And so because men are forced to subsidize single motherhood, right, the vast majority of taxes are paid by men and women receive the vast majority of social and political benefits outside of the military-industrial complex, which is a few small elite men. But when you have the welfare state, which means women get paid by the state or by male taxpayers for having children, then women don't need to get married.
[1:12:37] And they can instead, they can decide to have children for a living. And in fact, having men in the household when women decide to have children for a living, it reduces their benefits. So, The birth rate then goes up for irresponsible people and goes down for responsible people because the tax burdens become so high that a lot of people convince themselves that they can't afford to have children. So the birth rate is not a big blob, right? I'm sure you're aware of this, right? So the birth rate is not a big blob. Now, in the past, more successful people had more children, right? I mean, you can see this is traced out in the Jewish community where the rabbis who languages and had obviously very high IQs, had the most children. And so in the past, the poor people had relatively fewer children and the wealthy, which is to say perhaps the higher IQ and more competent, at least materially, had more children. Now quite the reverse is true. The higher the woman's educational standards, often the lower the reproduction. And so I think that those factors probably have a lot more to do with the birth rate than some simple technology which allows you to choose more easily when to get pregnant, if that makes sense.
[1:13:54] It does make sense, but let me try to explain my reasoning to begin with. You said previously that people were also having children during war, which I would believe it's a very bad time to have children. And if you could avoid it, you would avoid it. And although you can, let's say, you don't necessarily need a condom to whatever children. It's definitely harder to do that. That's why I think that sex being much more likely to end up in a pregnancy might have contributed to a higher birth rate until the pill, condoms, and whatever else you have now.
[1:14:37] Yeah, I'm certainly not going to argue that it has an effect on a birth rate. I just don't think it has as much of an effect on the birth rate as sort of the moral corruption of, forced redistribution of wealth. But sorry, go ahead.
[1:14:50] So thank you for that. I guess as a young father myself with a one-year-old daughter, is there any advice that you could give me?
[1:14:59] Well, first, accept my congratulations. My daughter is 17 this year, and I find myself gripped with nostalgia looking back. There's pictures in in my room of my daughter when she was a baby and a toddler. And it's just, it's such a wonderful and adorable face. There's a little restaurant not too far from where I live. And my daughter and I, when she was little, she would dress up in this butterfly winged princess costume and sit on my lap while we ate our food and chatted. And she was fascinated by the grandfather clock. And I was just wonderful. And we were just visiting with some friends yesterday who have their fifth baby as a newborn and was chatting with the kids and reading Dr. Seuss to them and just having a blast. And so I look forward to grandchildren, although I know that's not imminent, but just congratulations on that beautiful journey.
[1:15:49] So I think... That I did
[1:15:53] As a parent, outside of the moral stuff, peacefulparenting.com, you should get all of that, and I'm sure you're fine with all of that, but children really, really want to be listened to, and so many people just talk and talk and lecture and lecture and tell and tell and instruct and instruct and read to and read to, but as your child is one and is starting to develop a language, if not now, in the near future, the important thing that is often overlooked, and my daughter and I would talk about this, right? We'd hang out with a bunch of people when she was very little and she'd say, nobody talked to me and nobody asked me questions. And I was, I noticed that and I'm going to blink four times and I was like, yeah. So then we would get together and I would notice this. My daughter would start talking and other people would start talking. And so she had nothing to say. And I would have to say, whoa, hang on, Izzy was still later finish her thought, right? And I have to sort of coach people on just listening. It was easier when we were at home because I would just love listening to her and we'd sort of chat back and forth and all of that when she was very little. But of course, in company, you know, children should be seen and not heard. As my mom used to say, if I was between her and the television, you might be a pain, but you're not a windowpane. And so I would say that make sure that people listen to children.
[1:17:03] They're not just like screechy, scamper monsters that interfere with adult conversations. They usually have really interesting stuff to add to conversations, really unique perspectives, and they can be very funny. And I don't mean sort of inadvertently funny, but they can be genuinely hilarious. And so, you know, really guard your daughter's space for speaking and make sure that people absorb what she has to say and that she's shown respect for her thoughts, you know, before she gets old, because by then, you know, she'll just have felt unheard in company and so on. And the other thing too, is that if she feels heard in company, then she'll enjoy when people come over rather than feeling invisible, which I think a lot of kids experience, if that makes sense.
[1:17:44] It does. Thank you very much for your answer. That's out.
[1:17:51] Had a slight delay in my next thing so we're going to our good friend katie what's on your mind my friend hello how.
[1:18:00] Are you i'm
[1:18:01] Well thanks how you doing i'm.
[1:18:02] Doing great thanks that was a beautiful beautiful message that you were just uh giving well all of it has been but i couldn't agree more with you and children just as a mother myself they're just absolutely fantastic i always stick my little one's brain and challenges me to restructure things when I'm at a pivot point and I'm like how would you feel about this week's self and you tell me how you feel about it and it's fascinating their minds are just beautiful as in their souls and so I wanted to I really enjoyed this conversation I sent you a little message but I'll read this out because I wanted to ask In a philosophical way, if the soul's ascent depends upon its devotion to the truth, the city is built on normal lies, and the heart knows normal, how then shall just man live, when truth makes him an exile, and silence makes him an exile? So basically for those that i don't know that's about it they're telling the truth gets you punished or left out but staying quiet helps you fit in how can someone be a good person it's
[1:19:21] A tough question it's a balance it's a balancing act it's about and my essential, point outside of morality of course i know that we don't have rapists thieves and murderers in the audience as a whole, right? Or even at all. So, I say this outside of base moral considerations. All is permitted if you're honest about it. All is permitted if you're... So, if I am in a social situation where I decide to lie or withhold the truth, to me, that's fine as long as I don't lie to myself about it. So if I'm in some social situation and somebody says something that is just wrong, it's just wrong, I don't want to say bad, but just wrong, a thousand times wrong, and maybe even somewhat offensive or goes against really important sensibilities of mine or whatever, I may choose to say something.
[1:20:15] It
[1:20:16] How hard my wife kicks me under the table, right? But I may choose to say something. I may choose to say nothing.
[1:20:22] I won't counter-signal.
[1:20:25] I won't agree with someone who says something that I know to be false and egregious. But I may say nothing. Now, I don't feel bad about that. We all have to make our compromises to survive in a relatively corrupt world. But I will not lie to myself about it, right? I will not say, well, it was a wise thing to do. I'll just say there were negative of consequences to telling the truth. I chose not to take them. And so I didn't tell the truth. And again, I won't sort of outwardly lie and say things that I believe to be false or anything like that. But if somebody says something, I don't know, you can come up with any number of these things yourself. I don't want to box people in, but you know, something which is just, you know, not right. And, you know, perhaps even a little offensive. I may say something, I may not, but I won't lie to myself about my motives. And so I think it's not so much that society makes you withhold the truth or maybe even lie from time to time.
[1:21:24] I will not let society's irrational hostilities to the truth stand between me and my honesty with myself. It may stand between me and my honesty with the world at times, but I will not let it stand between me and my honesty with myself. And as long as I remain rigorously honest with myself, it matters much less to me what I say or don't say in the world, if that makes sense.
[1:21:48] That is amazing absolutely and thank you there there's a lot of us or we've been proven to this at some point seem like wrongdoing it's like where does one speak or not speak and do and not do but the way that you have basically compartmentalized this as long as one is asked with oneself you know it doesn't mean that you have to lie it doesn't mean that you have to this behind them.
[1:22:16] But then I guess,
[1:22:17] You know, or should you, should one say something, I'm talking from like a bigger perspective here, somebody has done, for example, and those in positions of power, overlooking it, but you know the truth,
[1:22:34] Do you think
[1:22:35] That there is a moral duty to speak or do we go back to, I really like what you said, it's stumbling in the best way though.
[1:22:45] Well, with regards to whether you have a moral obligation.
[1:22:48] To speak the truth,
[1:22:50] And I won't make a big speech out of this because it's a big topic, but I'll boil it down. Morality is not a set of abstract rules that program you like a computer that you have to follow no matter what, because that's not free will. That's why I said on Twitter the other day, don't quote rules at me. Moral reasoning is the only morality. So what I mean by that is I owe the truth to people who've been honest with me. I do not owe the truth to people who are dishonest with me. I owe diplomacy to people who are diplomatic to me. I do not owe diplomacy to those who are rude to me. And so in our economic relationships, we recognize the principle of reciprocity. That if someone pays me for a job, I owe them that job. If somebody pays me 20 bucks to mow their lawn, I owe them either their $20 back or I have to mow their lawn. But I don't just have to mow the lawn and give 20 bucks to everyone in the neighborhood.
[1:23:47] Relationships, and even personal. So I'm saying from our economic relationships, we recognize that obligation arises out of reciprocity. Somebody sends me X amount of dollars for a particular good or service, then I provide that good or service. That's a reciprocity. I don't provide that good or service to everyone. I'm not morally obligated to provide it to everyone. It's the same thing with honesty. People who have honesty with you, people who are honest with you, you owe them honesty because they've earned it. People who treat you badly, you do not owe good treatment to. I said this on X, and it's a principle I've lived by since I was, well, I can calculate, 21 years old. I was 20, no, 22 years old when I first was introduced to this by my college roommate. And we literally shared a room. It wasn't even like a roommate in a flat. We shared the same room.
[1:24:32] And he said that mathematically, you can't do better. They've modeled all of this out, prisonless dilemmas and passing food and so on back and forth in prison. Treat people the best you can the first time you meet them after that, treat them as they treat you. You can't do better than that mathematically. And it's been an enormously productive principle for me in my life, right? So if people treat you well, you treat them well. So with regards to, are you obligated to speak up regarding someone who's in trouble with someone in power and so on? Well, if they've stood up for you before, great. Then I think you owe them that loyalty. If they've put their necks on the line for you, if they've made sacrifices to protect and support you, then I think you have an obligation. It's not a moral, like you have to or go to jail. It's not like a legal obligation, but I think you have an obligation to repay honor with honor, to repay courage with courage, to repay honesty with honesty, and to repay integrity with integrity. In the same way that in marriage in general, we repay monocamy with monocamy, right? And so I think that morality, and I don't think that morality is a relationship, that you earn moral consideration. And I don't mean like protection of or life. I'm talking about just what are called aesthetically preferable actions, positives that aren't legally required or morally able to be enforced with violence.
[1:25:50] But we repay consideration with consideration. So if somebody is polite to me, I will be polite to them. And you heard this earlier in the call, right? I mean, the people who are nice and listen and we have a good exchange, wonderful, great conversation. When somebody says that they will be quiet while I make a speech and interrupt me 10 seconds later, I can be pretty brusque with them because they're not treating me with respect. So I feel no obligation to treat them with respect. And that's my principle. That's how things work. So if people have earned your courage and honesty and consideration, great. I mean, when I was deplatformed, very few people did or said anything to protect and support me. Now, that's a little difficult at the time, but it liberates me from having to do anything to protect and support them because they have released me from all claims of mutual support. So I think if the person has earned it, your courage by being courageous in their support of you, I think it's a good thing and an honorable thing to do back. If they haven't, I do not recognize abstract principles as foundational motivations. It's all about reciprocity and earned consideration in relationships, if that makes sense.
[1:26:58] This has been phenomenal. I will politely step down and I'll just need to put somebody else to speak because I just think about this all night. But I won't take up any more of your time. This has been fantastic. I really appreciate this. And I appreciate you and everyone that's on the speaker.
[1:27:17] Well, thank you. Those are fantastic questions. And I, oh, our Bloodbath and Beyond fellow is back, but I'm not going to take the call. Although I do appreciate the conversation that we had earlier. I just don't think that he's back with any particularly good intent because there was no bending to anything more productive or positive before. So, freedomain.com slash donate. If you'd like to help out the show, I really would appreciate it. You can subscribe at freedomain.locals.com or subscribestar.com slash freedomain. To help out the show, I really, really would appreciate it, and you get all kinds of fantastic benefits and bonuses for doing that. It is Thursday, and we will talk to you tomorrow night. We will do an ex voice live stream chat with video so that you get to see the glowing speckled egg of hopefully consistent truth coming off your pixels. Thank you for your time and great questions and comments today. I really do appreciate that. Peacefulparenting.com. Lots of love, my friends. I'll talk to you soon.
[1:28:16] Bye.
Support the show, using a variety of donation methods
Support the show
