In this episode, I delve into the recent tragedy involving Iryna Zarutska, who lost her life in a horrific event on a light rail train in Charlotte, North Carolina. As a response to the multitude of inquiries I received about this case, I reflect on my past experiences of addressing sensitive topics and the struggle that comes with revisiting such painful events through the lens of philosophical analysis. However, I also express my reluctance to produce quick, reactionary content, stressing the importance of a deeper exploration of the issues involved.
Drawing from personal experiences, I discuss the sheer willpower required during challenging times, likening my need to push through adversity to carrying heavy equipment while snowshoeing through treacherous terrain. It’s a test of perseverance where emotional depth often takes a backseat to survival instincts and the determination to complete the task at hand. The analogy resonates deeply, especially within the context of feeling emotionally drained yet obligated to keep moving forward despite overwhelming obstacles.
As the discussion unfolds, I candidly share the disappointment from witnessing the dwindling support from my audience during the tumultuous summer of deplatforming in 2020. There’s a palpable sense of frustration when I highlight the fear that seems to prevent people from standing up for difficult topics. If supporters are hesitant to engage even from the safety of anonymity, it raises the question of their expectations for my own courage in tackling contentious issues. I challenge the narrative that requests for me to fight “dragons” or tackle hard-hitting subjects can emerge without reciprocal support or acknowledgment of my sacrifices.
Throughout the episode, I emphasize a distinct dichotomy between moral courage and the responsibility of community engagement. I do not believe it’s right for some to demand moral action from others while remaining passive themselves. This leads me to reflect on whether my lengthy tenure in this field, marked by significant challenges, obligates me to continue fighting the good fight without robust support. I liken it to a situation where I would be expected to risk it all, while the very people requesting action seem unwilling to engage themselves.
I further elaborate on the emotional distance I’ve experienced since my deplatforming, revealing a lack of outreach or empathy that might have bridged the gap between me and those who claim to value my work. It's eye-opening to understand how community dynamics function, especially in moments of crisis, highlighting both the expected and unexpected responses from those who claim to care.
As I wrap up my reflections, I ponder the effectiveness of past work versus the potential future endeavors that could address pressing social issues. Yet there lies an inherent risk; being ahead of the curve often leads to isolation, further complicating the narrative of accountability and support from audiences. I implore those listening to consider these dynamics seriously and ask for your thoughts regarding these multifaceted issues. The path ahead remains fraught with challenges, but a united front could change the landscape for truth-seekers and those wishing to engage in these critical discussions.
0:17 - The Truth About Iryna Zarutska
3:09 - The Burden of Willpower
8:26 - Fighting the Dragon
10:38 - The Restaurant Analogy
14:25 - The Challenge of Support
18:30 - Seeking Support and Understanding
22:02 - Ethics and Integrity in Action
24:55 - The Long Fight for Free Speech
[0:00] So there were, this is just for donors only, of course, there were a number of calls on X for the truth about Iryna Zarutska, the poor woman who was butchered on the light rail train in Charlotte,
[0:16] North Carolina, in August.
[0:18] And the video, I think, was just recently released. And I have resisted these kinds of things. Of course, back in the day when I was working with Mike, back in the day when there would be a big news story of this kind, we would race to put together a presentation and try and get the sort of philosophical thoughts and issues across as quickly as possible and all of that. And, you know, of course, those old impulses, those old tugs, you know, they still exist and still part of my philosophical and media DNA, but it's different. And I sort of wanted to go through this and get your thoughts on it, of course, as always, especially as donors, but I want to get your thoughts on what I think and what I feel as well about this sort of stuff.
[1:10] So there are times in my life, I'm sure this is the same with you as well. There are times when you just have to muscle stuff. You just have to will and push forward no matter what. I remember when I was working up north and having to carry these 80-pound piangja drills on my back while snowshoeing through deep snow. It was just crazy stuff. There were.
[1:36] Bramble bushes down there in the snow, and you'd get caught all the time, and the back of the snowshoe would whip and hit you in the butt, and then you'd just plunge forward, and you'd fall into this deep snow with this heavy drill bit on your back, and you'd just have to push and get your way back up and reposition, and it was just such a slog. It was crazy. And yet, I had to do the work. I had to get the samples. I had to, you know, do the job.
[2:02] And that's just times where you just have to muscle and pull yourself forward or push yourself forward. And it's kind of like a thin and stretched time, you know, and that old analogy from the ring, from Lord of the Rings, just feel kind of thin and stretched, like toast is buttered too much or not enough, sorry, not enough butter on the toast. And that issue of sort of sheer willpower, it's one thing if you're buoyed up, buoyed up, if you're buoyed up by people who are, you know, cheering you on and supporting you and, and all of that. But of course, given the general wild despawning of the audience over the summer of deplatforming 2020, given the, just the absolute vanishing of the audience, it was, it was one of these just willed muscle push forward kind of thing. And you don't, at least I don't have much sort of emotional richness or depth during those kinds of times, Because it's just a matter of, you know, again, this sort of willpower and pushing forward and you just don't have time
[3:07] to feel or you don't even process that much.
[3:10] It's just this sort of naked, angry, shark-like will just chewing its way through stuff.
[3:16] I was surprised at how few people followed me over because, you know, I mean, everyone said, man, the work you do is so important and there's no one like it and it's super essential and so on. Now, it could be, of course, I mean, it's a combination of things, just out of sight, out of mind, general indifference. But also, I think it has something to do with the fact that people were scared. They were scared of maybe being associated or something like that. But I don't know, I assume people who are nervous about this kind of stuff, they have their VPNs, they have their Anon accounts and all that kind of stuff. So it's not that much to be, not that much to be, to be scared of. And again, if they're scared of an anonymous account, and there are these browsers that have built-in VPNs, so it doesn't need to be something that you slow down your whole system with. But if people are too scared to even set up an account on some alt media site, then they shouldn't expect me to do a lot of courageous things. If they're scared as anonymous people, would it make much sense to really ask that I do all of this super courageous stuff.
[4:32] I don't think so. And the other thing you could say, well, but they do the hate speech laws and so on. It's like, yeah, but I mean, most of my, even if we accept that as an argument, which I don't think is a great argument, my audience is mostly in America, where they have the First Amendment and there's no such thing as hate speech.
[4:54] So, on the sort of, there's no excuse. If people weren't scared, but were just lazy, then they shouldn't expect me to work too hard for them, right? On the other hand, if people were scared to the point where anonymous accounts protected by VPN was too much for their hearts to handle, then they shouldn't be asking me to take all these battles on, right? You go fight the dragon I'm scared of is not the most noble thing to be on the receiving end of. Well, I'm too scared to take on these topics, but, Stef, you should totally do it. Well, that's... I don't recall a time. I don't think I would do this. I mean, it's been a long, a lot of podcasts and posts. I don't think I've ever told other people to take on topics that I don't want to. Because that would be, I don't think I've encouraged people to take on fights I don't want to take on, or I'm whatever, cautious, or whatever. I don't do that because that to me would be kind of revoltingly hypocritical to say, you, you should take on this dragon, right?
[6:09] Now, why should someone go and fight a dragon? Well, if the dragon isn't important, then you shouldn't encourage people to go fight dragons, right? And that's sort of, well, your work isn't important enough, Stef, for me to go one website over, right? So if the dragon is not important, it's not dangerous, it doesn't matter, then there's no need to fight, right? The dragon. If the dragon is big and dangerous, then you shouldn't go and tell other people to fight while you don't support them or do anything, right? Because if people had come over en masse or like really supported and worked hard to support me through the deplatforming process, then I probably would have taken on. I would have continued the truth abouts. But the sort of cost benefit when the truth abouts used to reach like a quarter million, half a million, a million, two million people, they were worth doing because there were a lot of work, a lot of concentration. And I had to record the desktop, I had to record the video, I had to stitch them all together, sync it all up. Like it was a lot of work, not just in terms of research and recording.
[7:28] But also in terms of just technically putting it all together and, you know, all the sources and, you know, all that kind of stuff, right? So it was hard. It was a lot of work. So that was worth doing for a quarter million, half a million, million, or two million people? Was it really worth doing for 3,000 people? Like 1% or half a percent or a quarter of a percent? Well, no, right? Well, no. I mean, if you want someone to go fight a dragon, you should at least support them. I mean, unless I'm really missing something obvious, which is always the possibility. I'm playing some pretty wild games of chess with my daughter and there are times when I miss the obvious. I either play it really well or it's a complete clusterfrag of intergalactic dimensions. So if people want me to go fight the dragon, then they should support me, right?
[8:27] For me, it's like, okay, I'll go fight the dragon. Can you just grab my shield from over there? and people are like, no, get it yourself. That's not great.
[8:39] Not great. Stef, I want you to go fight this dragon. Excellent. Can you water my plants while I'm gone? No. No. What am I, your slave? I'm like, I'm not particularly bothered by the dragon. But if you all want me to fight the dragon, Stef, go fight the dragon. Oh, listen, can you do me a favor? Can you just drop by and give my dog some food and water since I'll be gone for a week or to. No. It's like, well, I don't know, man. I mean, the drag is not a perfect analogy, of course, right? Because, but it is kind of tough, right? Or another analogy might be something like this, which is, I have a restaurant and people are like, man, you have the greatest food, people are lining up to eat at my restaurant. We're booked weeks, months in advance, right? This was the equivalent of the old call-in shows and people were booked a long time ahead.
[9:41] And then the mafia burns my restaurant down and I open up one or two storefronts over, right? And then people are like, they don't bother coming, right? And I sit there alone in my restaurant, no one's coming to eat. Although they all told me that it was the greatest food ever and blah, blah, blah. And then I'm one or two stores over and they're like, don't come. Right? No, you guys came. So I appreciate that. I'm talking about everyone else. Right? And my restaurant traffic goes down by like 97%. And then later they say, man, you should really take on the mafia. I'm like, well, I don't know about that. Or maybe I took on the mafia. Then they burned down my restaurant. Nobody came to my new restaurant. And then they're like, man, you should take on the mafia. It's like, the hell are you talking about? I was like, one or two stores over. You didn't bother coming by. And now I'm supposed to go fight the mafia for you, for us, whatever, right?
[10:38] I totally get, of course, and maybe it's right. I mean, obviously open to that feedback. Maybe that's right. Because what happens is when I point this out, there are a few people, of course, who say, yeah, it was kind of bad, but they really talk about themselves, right? I don't think, I don't remember, I mean, outside of sort of friends and just a couple of emails, like literally a couple of emails for half a decade. I don't know people who said, how you doing? Like your life work was largely destroyed and blah, blah, blah, right? I mean, the videos were still there. They were backed up on other sites. But I mean, all the comments, the interactions, the view count, the promotion, the live streaming, the income, all of that was destroyed in terms of having an audience, right?
[11:20] So I don't remember, again, outside of sort of friends and family, I don't remember people much, if at all, emailing me as saying, my gosh, how difficult for you. I hope you're doing okay. And this was true of even friends from sort of the early days of the show, after I got deplatformed, nobody was like, like, nobody emailed and said, gosh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sad, this is very unfair, how are you doing, right? And even people now, they say, well, I was upset when you were deplatformed, well, I, me, me, I, me, me, I, me, I, right? And that's just something that I notice. I mean, I have, you know, I think fairly advanced emotional and empathy skills, and people, they just don't ask me how I'm doing. This is back to, I think it was a guy from Guatemala when I worked at a seafood restaurant in downtown Toronto. In my 20s, I broke up in a long-term relationship, broke up by my friends, but mostly ignoring it. And this one guy, just like, how is your heart? I'm like, oh, yeah. Man, good for you. Good for you. There was a real lesson in that question, in that moment. But what happens is when I say I don't feel obligated to do hard difficult and dangerous work.
[12:36] When people didn't support me through the deplatforming process I don't feel like it and I mean I think there's good reasons I don't just I'm not a heathenist right I don't just not do things because I don't feel like it I don't feel like going to the dentist I still go to the dentist, right? I don't feel like it. So, when I point this out, people get kind of squirrely. And of course, because I'm around emotionally sophisticated people who can process emotions and deal with things and be honest and direct and RTR, I'm just not used to being around these really kind of primitive personalities. And again, I've had the luxury of being with you lovely people for the last five years or so, but I haven't really been around the people who just.
[13:23] And deflect and just have no emotional maturity or self-knowledge or self-awareness, and they're just, right?
[13:33] Because like one guy was like, well, you clearly didn't inspire people to follow you. Look, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to inspire people to follow me. I mean, I couldn't sit there and say, follow me, because I was deplatformed, right? So, I mean, of course, they didn't all happen on the same day, that might have been a bit suspicious.
[13:50] But it was not really popular. But let's say that's true. Let's say I'm like, hey, I'm over here, you should follow me here, right? And I guess I did some of that when I was deplatformed. I can't remember exactly the sequence in which it occurred. But let's say, of course, if it was YouTube, then I would say on X before I was deplatformed there, follow me on Rumble or BitChute or LBRY or some of the other places. But people say, well, you didn't have the charisma or the ability to have people
[14:24] follow you to the new platforms.
[14:26] And that's true. That's accurate. I mean, it wasn't exactly a free market thing because I don't think that my deplatforming had much to do with the free market. But let's say that's true, that I just, I lack that X factor, that it factor that has people follow me to new platforms. Let's say that's true. Okay. Well, still doesn't change the fact that if I'm that unimportant and people don't particularly care about my work, then why would I take on the difficult and dangerous and dirty work of truth about highly volatile and obviously racially charged sometimes modern or contemporary or current event problems? Why?
[15:07] Or, of course, there's all the people, they inject themselves into the conversation, like they'll say, well, I didn't even know about you until like three minutes ago. And I'm like, well, then this doesn't apply to you. I'm asking, I'm talking to the people who say, you should bring back your old truth about presentations. In other words, they've been around for 10 years or more, probably. And they're asking me, like, the people just inject themselves in like, well, I didn't know. It's like, okay, fine. And then some people are like, well, you know, but I don't like having to create account on other platforms. I'm like, yeah, I get that. That's fine. You don't want to create accounts on other platforms. Okay. So that's too much of an effort and that's fine. I don't actually have any problem with the people who didn't follow. I mean, for me, it was actually quite a lovely and pleasant time in many ways. And so I don't have any particular issue with the people who didn't follow. It's just when they start asking me to take on difficult and dangerous sacrifices. I'm not sitting there posting on X, oh, you bastards didn't follow me five years ago. Honestly, I don't really think about it that much anymore.
[16:10] But that having been said, when the people who didn't support you want you to do time-consuming, difficult, and dangerous work, that's when I have the issue. Now, I don't know if you've ever had this in your life. I sure have myself. But if you've ever had a situation where if you have narcissistic people or selfish people around you, and you ask them to focus on you, and you ask them to be supportive, a lot of times they get really angry. I mean, they may pretend, right? If you point out that it's not really supportive or they're not really doing much, then at some point, if you keep pushing until you get, you know, actual honest-to-goodness empathetic support, if you actually ask for support from people in an uncompromising fashion, they usually, if they're selfish, narcissistic people, they'll get very angry. Very angry. And they attack you. well, I got sick of your e-begging and I got sick of this and you were bad at that and you were trashy at that and who cares about you anyway and how dare you. Like they just explode in rage when you point out that they didn't support you. And again, not supporting me is fine.
[17:28] It's not supporting me and then making demands of me. And again, people can make all the demands they want. They're certainly free to do that. But I'm, you know, they're honest about what they want, and I'm honest about why I don't want it. I mean, it would have made a world of difference over five years ago if my email inbox had been flooded with people who were like, well, I can't support you right now, but for whatever reason, it's dangerous, or the political climate is too heated, or whatever. I get that. I understand that. I understand that. But if they just sent me an email, even from some anonymous throwaway account, which is sort of very easy to do and to create, I mean, that would have meant the world of difference, as opposed to, well, my people say they love what I do, my life work has been mostly destroyed, and everyone just despawns and vanishes. So, yeah, I don't particularly want to do that kind of work. And now, say, so, well, what could people do?
[18:26] What could people do to change that in you, Stef?
[18:31] And honestly, I don't know. I don't know what they could do.
[18:36] It's sort of like, I mean, if my mother were in some alternate universe, right? If my mother were to call me up tomorrow and were to say, what can I do to fix your childhood? Be like, ma'am, I'm pushing 60, right? I mean, there's nothing, right? It's too long ago. Some guy causes you to get your arm cut off and then says, what can I do to fix it? It's like, well, you can't because we can't reattach my arm. I cannot get a functioning arm back, right?
[19:03] So, I don't know. I don't think there is anything that people could do. I mean, I don't know, maybe if they donated now or really worked hard to push my shows or I don't know, I saw them defending me, there's a couple of people who are doing great work on UPB, that would be nice. And maybe that would make a difference. But I, you know, I got to tell you guys, I mean, it's not, right? I think the first time that I was live streaming, I had like 40,000 viewers. And there are sometimes these days it was better tonight because it was such a hot topic but there's sometimes when i'm live streaming to like a hundred people so in other words like i have this unique ability it really is quite remarkable i have this unique ability to lose audiences, i mean to go from 40 000 down to 100 or 200 that's not easy that's that's a special, that's a special kind of skill i mean i'm doing obviously i do the best shows that i can think of and I can do, you know, the most honest and relevant and hopefully intense and engaging shows as possible. And maybe everyone is just a total politics junkie or wants to talk about dajus or something like that, right? But all of which are topics I've talked about before.
[20:22] So I don't know. Maybe if people were, you know, to really, if I saw lots of people heavily promoting the show or things like that. But I don't like the idea that sort of moral courage and ethics are a spectator sport. That in order to do good things in the world, you just have to go bully and encourage and sometimes shame other people into doing what you think of as the good. And it's not like, you know, I mean, if I have a favorite singer who hasn't recorded in a while, I might say, gee, you know, really miss your songs. It would be great if you record it again, you know, something like that, right? That would be nice. But that's not morals, right? Like, if there's a favorite singer who hasn't recorded for a while, I wouldn't sit there and say, well, I'll just do his job for him because he's a good singer and I'm not, right? So that's a different matter. So, everyone can participate in the realm of ethics. Everyone can participate in the challenges of morality.
[21:33] Think it's the right thing to do or a fair thing to do to say, Stef, you should do the moral stuff. I'm not going to do it, but you should do the moral stuff. You should do the brave stuff. You should do the courageous stuff. Not me. Not me. I don't, uh, I don't, I don't view it that way. And I think what I really want, and I don't want to just like, well, people, people are telling me to do a truth about, so I'm just going to go and do a truth about with no reference to my sort of feelings or any requirement for reciprocity. I don't think that would be good for people.
[22:03] You know, because people just try all this emotionally manipulative bullshit. I mean, you know this, right? But I mean, there was someone on X was like.
[22:12] Well, you could have saved this young woman's life or you could save, oh, you could save people's lives with a truth about presentation. I could update a truth about crime or you could save people's lives. And I'm like, well, that presentation has been out for 10 years, bro. Show me where you've promoted that to people. Because if you really care about my presentations saving lives, then you should have shared it a dozen times, 50 times, a hundred times. I mean, there are some people who I remember when I was off X, there were people who were promoting my work and sharing my work. And, you know, those people, I would be like, well, yeah, then that has a lot of weight with me. But, you know, when people say, well, you know, your truth about presentation could save lives. It's like, okay, well, show me where you've shared my work because you care so much about saving lives. I don't need an updated one. The truth about crime is 10 plus years old or almost 10 years old so you could have shared that at any time and of course they can never say it right, they can they can never they can never show me say look here's here's here's the links to where I shared it like 10 times or 5 times or once any right but it's nothing it's like well, you should do these presentations because they're going to save lives but their prior presentations I won't bother to share so clearly they don't care about saving lives right.
[23:31] Presentations don't save lives. I know they do. But this person doesn't care about saving lives. They just want me to do what they want to do. Now, is it the right thing to do that? I mean, it's an interesting question. I don't know. I don't know. I think for me, it's important to act with integrity and not to do something that I have good reason to not want to do without those issues being addressed. You know, is it possible that an updated truth about presentation might save lives? Sure. But I've shared the presentation and none of the people asking me ever sort of address that and say, listen, I know it's a big ask. I know you were de-platformed. I know nobody really followed you. And all of that, I get that. But here's what I'd like anyway, blah, blah, blah. It's always like, well, you should do this.
[24:32] And you know, there's another thing too, which is I have been doing this stuff for over 40 years. Over 40 years, I've been fighting the good fight for reason, free speech, free markets, and so on, right? And I've taken a lot of blows and had a lot of issues, challenges,
[24:54] and problems in doing it.
[24:55] I don't know. And it's sort of a question of like, do, you know, cops do 20 years usually, and then retire. And soldiers do like 20 years and then retire and then usually go on to do other things. And is it right to keep sort of intensely fighting for, let's see, 59, I started at 15, so it'll be 44 years. 44 years. I mean, that's a long time. That's a long time to be fighting. And of course, I mean, people talk about others who were deplatformed and fought their way forward, right?
[25:36] I get that too. They do tend to be considerably younger than me. They do tend to be considerably less married and less with children than me. And the other thing too, I think this is another, maybe this is an issue, it just sort of struck me, but I think this is another issue, which is that either I retread stuff I've done before, in which case I might as well just repost stuff, or I do stuff that's novel and new for me, in which case I'm just way ahead of the curve again. And there's honestly, there's no reward to being ahead of the curve. I mean, maybe except Bitcoin, right? There's just no, like you just get attacked, everyone thinks you're crazy, evil, bad. And then five or 10 or 15 years later, everyone admits that you were right, but nobody circles back and apologizes or makes any kind of restitution. So, I mean, that's just, and again, I've been okay with that deal for like over 40 years, but it is not a great deal for sure. So anyway I'd love to know what you think and I appreciate your support of course and thank you so much for keeping the show alive I think the future will definitely thank you and hopefully thank me and hopefully the truth tellers will be treated better going forward all right lots of love guys let me know what you think bye.
Support the show, using a variety of donation methods
Support the show
