0:00 - Setting the Stage
2:45 - Self-Pity Scale
4:03 - Reflecting on De-Platforming
4:37 - Deep Dive into Personal History
7:28 - Tent Troubles and Analogies
9:36 - Carrying the Typewriter
14:17 - The Process of Getting Older
16:15 - The Stick Insect of Faith
19:27 - Wrestling with Self-Pity
21:44 - Wrestling with Latency Mourning
26:14 - Foundation for the Future
28:38 - Reevaluating Loss and Gain
31:25 - The Price of Truth vs. Lying
37:03 - Retained Impact of Truth
39:40 - The Temptation of Lies
45:23 - Marriage and Shared Bank Accounts
47:34 - Fighting with Spouse
50:39 - Reflections on Media Influence
52:30 - The Road of Fame
53:31 - Understanding Free Speech
1:00:58 - The Power of Hatred
1:27:02 - The Rule for a Successful Relationship
1:38:27 - Being Strong in the Face of Dysfunction
1:43:42 - Overcoming Self-Pity Through Integrity
Reflecting on past shows and offering an apology for a subpar performance, I delved into the behind-the-scenes dynamics of running the show on tonight's episode of Friday Night Live. Sharing a personal childhood anecdote about a disastrous camping trip, I connected it to feelings of frustration and self-pity experienced this week, candidly discussing moments of mourning and loss regarding my de-platforming. Despite the challenges, my commitment to honesty and self-reflection remains steadfast as we navigate life's uncertainties together.
Navigating tough emotional times and standing by personal convictions, I expressed the importance of integrity and authenticity, highlighting the need for genuine connections and self-respect. Discussing cancel culture, media influence, and the impact of speaking out, I delved into philosophical musings and interactions with listeners to shed light on personal values and principles. Contemplating the balance between personal beliefs and external pressures, I advocated for staying true to oneself with unwavering authenticity, introspection, and integrity in the face of adversity.
Sharing insights on conducting interviews with intelligence researchers, I discussed the prevalence of hate in society and its individual impact while stressing the value of a loving and supportive partner. Exploring decision-making complexities influenced by media propaganda and personal biases, I addressed audience questions on relationships, urging humility and self-awareness in understanding societal pressures. Navigating the dating scene and familial dynamics, I emphasized the importance of confronting dysfunction, maintaining integrity, and prioritizing meaningful relationships over external validation.
Discussing the significance of honesty in close relationships and the harms of deception, I highlighted the impact of dysfunctional family dynamics on forming healthy partnerships. Stressing the importance of self-respect, integrity, and standing against subjugation, I addressed implications of not addressing dysfunctional parental issues on attracting quality partners. The conversation underscored the value of prioritizing self-respect and meaningful relationships over external gains, urging a commitment to authenticity and integrity in all aspects of life.
[0:00] Yes, good evening. It's the 12th of July, 2024. It is time for Friday Night Live with Stefan Molyneux, and I think I owe everyone a tiny, tiny little bit of an apology. A tiny, tiny, tiny little bit of an apology. I think Wednesday's show was subpar, sort of thinking back on it. Sunday's show was great because Izzy was here, but I think that Wednesday's show was subpar. And I don't know if anyone's interested in this or not, but would you like, to know, or if you're interested in sort of the behind-the-scenes psychodrama of running this crazy conversation, crazy on my side, fine on yours, I don't know if anyone's interested in why, I think it was subpar and what was going on. And I tend to be pretty critical of the work that I do because I think I've been given a great gift and I always want to make sure that I'm using it to the very betterment of the planet as a whole.
[1:08] Hello, Rob from South Australia. Great, I don't know why you have to throw it back on the thread, Australia. But yes, hello, hello. Good evening, good evening. Welcome. I'm going to tell you this is going to be a scorcher of a show. I guarantee it. You will tell your grandchildren you were here on the 12th of July 2024 for the absolute bond burner super scorcher of a show that is guaranteed, was mercury in retrograde no i don't think that was it i don't think it was freddy at all but okay so here's the scorcher uh let me ask you this because we're live streaming right so we can be frank with each other fly me to the moon we can be frank we can be tony we can be whoever with each other. Now, from 1 to 10, how prone are you to self-pity? Yes, yes, that's right. He's luring you in to talk about yourself just so you could end up with him talking about him.
[2:13] How close are you to the giant pitiful tapioca self-furnace immolation of pride known as self-pity? A little bit. One to ten. One to ten. Do you have any of that self-pity? Ah, getting married next weekend. Again, we both have you to thank for the knowledge and armor we have today. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Beautiful. Congratulations. I don't think I got an invitation. I'm shocked and appalled.
[2:46] Yes, self-pity. Zero. Wow, good for you. Good for you. Now, I wouldn't say I'm catastrophically susceptible to self-pity, but I'm not going to say it doesn't happen. And I think this week I fell prey. I fell prey to the soul-scrubbing, brain-diminishing, ball-shrinking demon of self-pity. Rough, man, rough. And I also found the cure, which I find interesting and hopefully you will as well. Well, the cure for self-pity is interesting. Now, I'm not saying it's some sort of permanent eternal cure because it's an aspect of human nature. But I certainly feel oh so much better. Now, as you may have noticed, I just passed my four-year anniversary of de-platforming.
[3:56] Or, as I like to call it, a semi-permanent invitation to play jazz clubs, not stadiums. It's okay. Jazz is cool.
[4:03] Jazz is cool. You know the old saying, rock and roll is three chords to 10,000 people, and jazz is 10,000 chords to three people. Not diminishing you. Super happy that you're here. I'm going to lure everyone back in with a rigorous self-examination. That's right. I'm looking for moles. I've got a scope up my ass. I'm turning and coughing, and we're going to go deep inside Stef. Deep into the Stef bot, we go. Yeah, four years already. Isn't that wild, right?
[4:37] Now, when I was flying high in my peak in social media, it was absolutely wild.
[4:46] 10 to 15 million views and downloads a month, 100,000 plus books read or downloaded a year. I had, you know, 2 million followers and subs on various social media platforms. I was as big as Jupiter, and I'm not even talking about the planet. I'm talking about the actual living God. It was something else. It was something else. And then I got somewhat casually invited to a slightly different kind of show. A little bit more personal, a little bit more spontaneous. and a little bit less endlessly researched, and pretty much getting interviews became a challenge.
[5:33] That did not end. So, now, although I don't blame people for being deplatformed, although there certainly was some pretty sinister stuff going on behind the scenes, I'm sure, as Musk's lawsuit may find out, but I don't blame. I mean, I chose to take on the red hot topics. I chose to pee on the third rail. But here's the thing, right? It hit me on Sunday. I think, I don't know, like I remember reading a story many years ago about the man who felt things later. You know, he stubbed his toe and he wouldn't feel it for like an hour. He'd have sex with his wife and then he'd have the orgasm during a business meeting. Hey man, we've all been there. We've all been there. so.
[6:30] The the it sort of hit me on Sunday, so I was having brunch with Izzy and she said hey you can do a live stream right let me let me join right now we don't generally do live streams we normally do pre-recorded stuff and movies and stuff like that but I thought you know we had a bunch of questions we hadn't got to from the audience specifically for Izzy. So we just came down and did a live stream. Now, I mean, I'm not going to hide any of this stuff. It's pretty available to everyone who cares to look. I used to have, you know, six, 7,000 people watching a live stream. And on Sunday, at least on one platform, it was like 25 or 30. I don't know if it's having my daughter in the room or something like that, but I got to tell you, it kind of hit me sideways. ways. You know, sum of life is just gritting your teeth and ignoring the undertow, ignoring the downdraft. Don't you find that? I mean, I find that.
[7:29] The sum of life is just like, you just got to grit your teeth and plow forward. You just have to grit your teeth and plow forward.
[7:41] And I remember when I was a kid, I went, I joined, I think my father signed me up for something vaguely called the Young Explorers Club or something like that. And we went on a two-week hike through the Outer Hebrides, which is an ass-end-of-the-universe intergalactic hellhole of wind, rain, and salt on the northwest, I think it is, corner of Scotland.
[8:13] You take a train, a catapult, a trebuchet, some camels, I think, were involved, and we were supposed to have a two-week hike, and I gotta tell you, it was just mental. The weather was appalling. I was, I think, five. I went with my brother, who was seven or so at the time. And I was about five, and we just, it was completely appalling. Like, what an absolutely horrible trip it was. The weather was appalling, and we ended up sleeping most of our nights in bus shelters. Like, kind of all crammed up and jammed up. Now, I do remember a couple of things I remember from that trip. One was I began to be skeptical about the approval of adult authority because there was this guy there who was a writer. And I thought, wow, what a successful writer you are. You're leading a bunch of kids around for two weeks in the outer Hebrides, which is like hell, but clammier.
[9:08] Without even the vivid fires of hell. And, you know, you're sleeping with your cheek pressed up against a grimy, probably herpes-ridden, cracked window of a bus shelter. Mmm, tasty stuff. So, but this writer had a big heavy manual typewriter, and the kids got to carry it. And you'd say, well, why on earth would kids want to carry some big-ass heavy typewriter around?
[9:37] Round well funny funny story the answer you see is that we got points got points now we just wanted points now even at the time and i you know i know i was fairly precocious kid and had my limitations but even at the time i was thinking okay so we get these points what are they for, is it cash candy what what do we get what do we get for these points no no just the points the points of what matter so you have these kids lugging along these up and down sand dune heather, craptastic ass end of the universe beaches not quite beaches basically just gritty sand and the washed up skulls of people from the north sea wars of the 1940s.
[10:26] And yeah good boy points yeah i was just it was really really really tragic, and i remember getting in trouble i got in trouble because i was five and i packed my own backpack and i was also i was always the youngest everywhere i went right i was always the youngest because also september like i was the youngest kid in my whole boarding school i was always the youngest. And I remember on one of the half-decent days that we had walking along these up and down bluffs at the edge of the ocean, the shore, and I turn around, look, Half of my clothes, some of my food, like they had just, they'd fallen out. Every time I took a step, it jogged a little and stuff just fell out of my backpack. And I had to look back. Now, I was too nervous to say, everybody stop, because I didn't want to be the youngest kid who couldn't even pack his own backpack. So I ended up just going back. And I figured I just had to run back a little bit, gather. But apparently it'd been falling off for approximately 4.3 light years. Years my food and and clothes and socks and everything been falling out so i had to go back quite a ways and then i went forward and then of course i lost the path right it was kind of windy i think the footprints had been blown over it wasn't muddy so i couldn't follow the footprints so i just lost anyway i ended up finally running into the people but the guy was kind of nervous.
[11:50] Don't worry i wasn't carrying his i managed to avoid carrying his suitcase sorry his uh his typewriter his little it was like a size of a suitcase it's heavy typewriter i managed to avoid that because i didn't care about the points and redeem them for anything it's like social credit with no cash in so anyway because i had not kept up and you know when you're a kid and there's like you've done something you're never allowed to explain anything right why did you do this well blah blah blah right well why why didn't you keep up well my backpack this and that and the other well you're supposed to keep up or say something whatever it is right nobody ever asks you why you didn't or what the problem is you just just get mad at you and punish you it's just usual stupid stuff. So I was confined. And it was one of the few nice days. It was blue sea. There was actually some seashells and cool stuff out there. I was confined to my tent for the entire afternoon. So the whole point was to get out there and explore things. And it turns out I just explored the inside of a pup tent for the afternoon. And anyway, at one point, I hear the kids whooping and having a great deal of fun. So of course, full of five-year-old self-pity, I poke my head out out of the side of the tent, and I see, I can still see this absolutely vividly, like 52 years later, more than half a century later. Boy, time flies, man.
[13:01] And what the kids were doing was they had found a land, a sea mine, you know, one of those coronavirus-shaped spiky things, and they were jumping up and down on it. Jumping up and down on a bomb. Wow. Anyway, unfortunately, nobody was turned into a fine, drifty selection of human blood mist.
[13:23] But I remember thinking, like, wow, it's really good that my backpack exploded so that I didn't. That seems like a plus. Anyway, the reason I'm telling you all of this is because when I was putting up the tent, you ever have this where you're trying to put up a tent, and you put up one end, the other end falls down, so you go back to the other end, this end falls down, and it just gets really, really... Frustrating because you're just trying to hold this thing up but it keeps coming down and i'm no camping expert right i'm a big fan of that old steve martin comedy routine where he says you know getting older it's just the whole process of starting to say no to stuff nope right so when you get it's a series of just closing doors there's this whole way of these various options hey let's right and and getting older is a whole process of just saying nope don't do that not Not doing that. Not doing long-distance relationships. Nope, not doing that.
[14:17] Not working late for no pay. Nope, not doing that. It's the whole process of getting older. And Steve Martin's like, somebody comes up and says, Hey, let's go camping.
[14:28] I'm sorry, we're closed, right? So I've never been a huge camping guy. I generally can't sleep with much of a tree limb up my ass. There's always some tree root that's poking you in the back or something like that, and you roll over. And there's always three mosquitoes in the tent that you can't find. Meow. Man, it's like listening to Madonna. So, or Mickey Mouse on helium is pretty much the same thing. I mean, if Mickey Mouse was a whore, which he might be. Anyway, so propping up that tent that kept collapsing and finally being frustrated, the frustration hit me four years later on Sunday.
[15:08] Boy, I can tell a long story. I don't know why my viewership went down with all of these concise stories it's incomprehensible, and I was like it just hit me and then I hit me it hit me also on the Wednesday thing and I was like I felt like there's a great John Irving has um he's terrible plot and character but great descriptor John Irving the novelist and I can't remember the name of the novel but there's two images that I remember really clearly from one of his novels. One is, and what a lovely description this is, if you've ever taken a sort of regular flashlight out in the middle of the night. He says, the watery bullseye of a flashlight. Oh, I love that. The watery bullseye of a flashlight. It's just beautifully described. And in the novel, I'm pretty sure it's John Irving, there's a priest who's lost his faith. And he said that his faith was like a stick insect that was climbing a bathroom wall with a wash of water steadily coming down.
[16:15] And it can go up, it can go up, but eventually it's just going to get washed away. And his faith was sort of mounting and holding on and mounting and gripping and holding on, but then just got washed away. Just lovely. Just lovely descriptions.
[16:32] And I think for me, the enthusiasm was like that stick insect on the wall of the bathroom wall. And I was like, it's fine. It's fine. You know, it wasn't quite dark in the room of fire, but not that far off. It's fine. I'll just prop up this side. Oh, this side failed that. I'll just prop up this side. And I think Sunday, probably, and I don't think my daughter even noticed the view count or whatever it was. She wouldn't exactly know where to look or whatever. And she was over here to stay off camera. But I was just like, you know what? This kind of blows. So for four years, I've been propping up this tent. And then I was like, you know what? This kind of blows. Incredibly thankful, though, I am to have everyone here. I really am. If you are, in fact, here, and I'm not fight clubbing myself with sock puppets arranged around a bunch of library computers. I don't think that's the case. Pretty sure it's not. But I just and I felt that enthusiasm and it reflected right I mean donations were down on Wednesday and I just realized I was not being direct I wasn't fully conscious about like why my motivation was low my sleep's been a little bit light but I think and it sort of reminds me a a friend of mine's father who was a university professor he lent me Richard Feynman's.
[18:00] Autobiographies of the famous physicist and fascinating stuff he was the guy very famous physicist and lecturer he also was the guy who figured out what caused the challenger to blow up and i think it was 86 or something like that i remember i was working up north and was finally doing my laundry after being a couple of weeks you know two months in the bush i was coming back to did my laundry right over the laundry in thunder bay not thunder bay thunder bay i remember seeing the, the space shuttle explode and i was really quite shocked because it all felt like progress right remember how we went to the moon really quickly and then it just all got transferred to welfare and um kids uh rather than actually being able to go to the stars but, richard feinman his his wife died of some illness i can't remember what it was it was cancer probably or something like that and he said he didn't really feel anything until i don't know It was like six months or a year later. I'm completely butchering the story, but the essence of it is that his wife died, and it was a brutal death, and he was just heartbroken. But he said, I didn't really feel anything at the time. And like six months or 12 months later, he's walking down the street. He looks in a store window, and he sees a dress, and he says, oh, Shelley would love that. And then it hit him, and he just fell apart. Sometimes it hits you later.
[19:27] So I've been wrestling with some self-pity this week. Thank you for the tip. I really, really appreciate it. Love you back. And this is not a complaint. I'm just being direct and honest about what's going on for me, right? Maybe some of this goes on for you in your life and so on, but I want to be direct and honest. You know, I sort of encourage honesty in the listeners, and I'll be honest with myself with regards to you. you, but yeah, I felt that last 10 pull just go kind of poof. And that reflected, I think, in later Sunday and Wednesday. Am I breaking up with you? I don't know what that means. But I wrestled with some self-pity.
[20:23] That I had this great philosophical movement, that was just ripped away. The greatest philosophical conversation in history. I mean, largely because of the technology, although I certainly contributed, as did you, but it just ripped away. No warning, no justification, no honor. Thank you for watching. You know, it's like that blonde woman in The Matrix. Not like this. Not this way. When she just gets erased and there's not even a fight.
[21:07] So I was not feeling great. I was not feeling great. And I think I went through a bit of latency mourning. Do you ever have that? Where it's sort of like when I injured myself once, cracked my forearm falling off a bike. I just biked home. I didn't really feel it until later, but later it hurt like hell. And I think I just went through that being tired of just gritting my teeth and moving forward no matter what. And I was like, you know, it's okay to feel crappy about this. I think it's fair. I think it's right. I think it's okay.
[21:45] I mean, I don't find that there's any point. Did you see Society Reward Hawk Tour Girl with $30,000 to judge a bikini contest? Test local philosopher just de-platform him this is how grief hits you too yeah yeah, i mean i've no doubt i mean i know this about myself strengths and weaknesses i'm a fighter and sometimes i fight for too long but i am a fighter and you have to fight right fight or flight you have to fight there was no flight wasn't gonna flight it's fight or flight and i I think I was just this week, I was like, this blows, man. This was my life's work.
[22:28] This was my life's work. I mean, since the age of 15, I've been working on philosophy, and I built up an amazing library, and it just got no due process, no warning, no rules that were enforced that were at all objective, just gone.
[22:52] What keeps you from getting back out there, Stef? What is out there? What do you mean out there? Out where? Do you really think you need a brilliant philosopher to say, Joe Biden's not all there. Can you imagine me doing political commentary these days? I mean, I'm sorry you have people still denying that Joe Biden has mental issues, but don't worry, my graphs and charts are totally going to convince them. If people can't even accept what they see in front of their goddamn eyes? What am I going to say? What am I going to say? Yeah, there were great conversations in the comments. Oh yeah, absolutely. Millions of comments on philosophy. Gone. Gone.
[23:52] And it's just a funny thing like i wasn't putting on this big brave face like you know crying in the corner but but being brave i mean i genuinely was like just keep going just keep going just keep going right and but there was this thing where it was like just this week was was tough and i wasn't sure exactly why i was feeling this i was sleeping a bit lighter just feeling this kind of malaise and sometimes it's tough to track down what the hell's going on with yourself you know You know, sometimes it's easier to see what's going on with other people, and sometimes it's a little tougher to track down. So, you know, I talked to friends and family and all of that, and kind of got it sorted, right?
[24:35] And I don't regret anything. I genuinely don't. I don't regret the choices that I've made. I don't sit there and say, gee, I wish I had made different choices. Because, I mean, the option was to lie, right? Thank you, Chris. The option was to lie and survive or tell the truth and be removed. I hate that those are the choices in the world as it is. I hate that those are the choices. but they are. I mean, I don't think it's possible to imagine otherwise. A sattva who said that there will come a time where people are thrown into the fire for saying that two and two make four.
[25:35] I could picture you being part of a conservative podcast like PBD for Philosophical Perspective. That would be great. I don't know what PBD refers to. You know if you're not using common acronyms might be worth typing it out i don't know might be, so it just i felt sort of the whoosh go out and i wasn't sure why and i felt motivation go down and i felt like why Why?
[26:14] Now, of course, what I've been saying to myself, and I accept this still, is, you know, I'm laying sort of the foundation for... Sorry, let me just... Joe says, if Stef wasn't deplatformed, he'd probably be making videos of truth about Joe Biden and making political commentary on Twitter. You know, I get what you're saying, but... I don't... Patrick Bet-David. Oh, that's PBD? I don't know who that is. so, I don't know what the truth about Joe Biden would be I don't know what the truth I mean things have become so partisan that people don't see each other's realities at all I'm sure you've seen those charts of the left and right moving further and further apart.
[27:01] In ideology and beliefs and universes right people are seeing now right, so I don't know I mean Politics, to me, would be kind of embarrassing to be involved in these days. If people aren't having mental breakdowns after the debate, they're just in absolute denial of reality. If people won't believe what's right in front of their eyes, why will they believe a PowerPoint? PowerPoint doesn't have a magical ability to get past people's defenses. If people literally, after that debate, didn't say, wow, we've been lied to for many, many years, well, what am I going to say? What am I going to say? You know, it's like if somebody's 350 pounds and they look in the mirror and they say, I look fantastic, I'm slender, and then they get on a scale that says 350 pounds and they say, wow, 125, that's great. What are you going to see? Well, what are you going to say? What are you going to say? What can you say? You can't say anything, really. I mean, what are you going to say? I don't know.
[28:22] Donisa says, I've followed you from talking in your car to and from work. I think how you are now is the best form of you when your crowd is truly your crowd. Well, thank you.
[28:38] So, I think it just kind of hit me. I think it just kind of was a wallop. And I've had a lot of fun, honestly, over the last four years. And I've done things that I wouldn't have otherwise done. Like I wrote two novels. I wrote Peaceful Parenting, which was like a year-long beast of a project. And I've done some absolutely wonderful live streams. I've done great solo shows. I've had some of the best call-in shows. I think, of my life as a whole. And so I've done some great stuff. And the stuff that will really last the test of time. I mentioned this before, but, you know, Samuel Clemens was, of course, the writer. And everybody remembers, you know, Huck Finn and all of that. But he also did this newspaper column in which he talked about politics. And nobody cares about that, but they care about the stuff that lasts the test of time, right?
[29:37] So anyway, it just, I was just kind of like, uh, I think, I mean, it's hard to say I got that it was all gone, but I just got that it was all gone, which I can, I know it sounds weird coming four years later, but I just was like, uh, And of course, I have enough data to know I'm not rebuilding in the current form, right? I mean, that's pretty clear, and I don't have any problem with that. I mean, I know some of the stuff that I would do to rebuild, but I don't want to rebuild in that way. I don't want to rebuild in that direction.
[30:25] You know, and there are already so many people out there who compromise in ways that I consider extremely dishonorable. There are already so many people who compromise. I really don't think the world needs one more. You know like when i was trying to decide whether to stay in my software career, which was doing pretty well i'll tell you that uh or or go do this crazy i don't know how to fund it really philosophy podcast stuff when i was making that decision the decision point was you know if you ask the right questions the answers just become obvious right and the question was does Does the world need another software entrepreneur, or does the world need a really dedicated philosopher?
[31:21] And once you ask the question that way, the answer becomes pretty obvious.
[31:25] And so for me, the question was, do we need another person who compromises what is essential in order to retain visibility? And of course, you also have to look at the people you admire over the course of developing your hero's journey, you have to look at the people you admire and you have to say, what would X, Y or Z do?
[32:01] The people we tend to remember the most and the people who tend to influence us to do the best with our souls are those who didn't bow to anything except absolute brute necessity, which was not the case with me. I don't think the world needs another compromiser, another knee-bender, another liar, another shill. I mean, there's plenty of those around already. Don't need another. And frankly, I say to the planet, if you need another, go look somewhere else, because it ain't going to be me. It ain't going to be me. It ain't going to be me.
[33:01] So then I thought, if you don't like the price of telling the truth, which I don't, obviously, if you don't like the price of telling the truth, what do you think of the price of lying? Right? Because that's what I had to do this week, was to weigh shit. There are no solutions only trade-offs way shit, if and I don't mean to lecture you because this is something I had to struggle through which is blindingly obvious in hindsight but I'm just going to share it with you and I'm not going to do it in a lecture format because I've no right to lecture you about something I've just kind of learned deep down, if I'm going to compare all the benefits of lying with all the costs of telling the truth, well that's the crook finger of smoky skinned Satan saying come take the dark path, it's like that old argument is it better to rent or is it better to buy a house well if you compare all of the strengths of renting with all the weaknesses of buying then you end up renting if you compare all of the weaknesses of renting with all the strengths of buying it doesn't mean anything.
[34:31] And so I had to like grip my face in the mirror and say, if you think the cost of telling the truth is too high that's because you've talked yourself out of looking at the cost of lying.
[34:53] Oh, but if I hadn't done this and I hadn't done that, I'd still be doing speaking tours and I'd still be out there in public and I'd still be fated and I'd still be blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Okay, that's a strength of not telling the truth. I get that. People lie for a reason. Because you get well paid. You get well owned. The domesticated animal has food shelter, security, health care in a cage.
[35:33] And if you're out there and you're kind of lean and hungry and you're trying to catch your 19th rabbit of the day it keeps getting away, and you look over and you say god damn Damn, those dogs get secure food every day. They get shelter. If they get a wounded paw, they get healed, taken to the vet. They get crunchy little bones for their teeth and broth for their belly. Right. They get all of that. And all they lose are their fucking balls.
[36:26] I don't domesticate too well.
[36:36] Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?
[36:44] Thank you, I'll hunt for myself. Thank you, bud. I don't care how nice and gilded and beautiful and even spacious the hotel room is. If they lock it from the outside, it's just another prison.
[37:04] So what I did in terms of falling into self-pity Was I said But look at all the benefits if I hadn't told the truth And look at all the costs of telling the truth, And that's pretty easy To feel sorry for yourself For everything you've lost Because all you focus Is on everything you've lost Not everything that you've retained And gained And that's the shit that matters I lost anonymous eyeballs and gained, or retained, love, self-respect, pride, and a true impact on the only place philosophy can save people, which is the future. And the more people it can save, the further away you have to defer your gratification as a thinker.
[38:07] Philosophers are evil until everyone recognizes that we're right. And then what we say is somehow transformed from unspeakable to utterly self-evident.
[38:32] And you say, Joe, you're right. All those fans couldn't go one website over. Right. But they helped me enormously. They saved my butt. In important ways. And I don't begrudge them a bit. Because they said, where you want to go into battle, we will not follow, which was a bit of a relief, frankly. It was a bit of a relief, frankly. We see the battle you're thinking of, we're not following, and you can't win alone. So they, and I think they were right.
[39:40] So in life as a whole right you have the challenge of or the temptation.
[39:57] This is funny, this is funny this is great now free domain dot com slash donate if you'd like to help out the show I really would appreciate it.
[40:12] Um you weren't doxxed you got greedy and Lauren Southern stopped sponsoring you you then sold out for media dollars um, That's very funny. Lauren Southern sponsored me. Also, it's L-A-U-R-E-N, not L-O-R-E-N. I know it's tough to spell people's names when they're uncommon like Lauren. You got greedy and Lauren Southern stopped sponsoring you. That's wild. You then sold us out for media dollars. What media dollars are you referring to? Media dollars. Ah yes, the shower of media dollars I used to transform my studio into a magnificent five-dimensional matrix holodeck. Oh, that's funny. Oh, that is funny. That's great. Oh, I sold everyone out for media dollars. Yeah, just search for me up on the media, man. They just absolutely wanted to just do nothing but shower. Shower me with money.
[41:35] That's great oh my gosh that is great oh that's thank you that helps a lot.
[41:46] Ah yes all those media dollars, people see what they want to see forever playing to the gallery, All right, let's see here. Just saw a screen cap of yours on Twitter, searched for you on Rumble, and saw you were streaming. Well, thank you, and welcome, welcome, welcome. People in the comments were asking for you to come back. Yes, no, it is tough. It is tough to go over one website. Stef, we care about you on Twitter so much. We desperately need you to come back, because the only alternative to get your words, ideas, arguments, and perspective, if the only chance we have is we have to sacrifice 19 goats and cross the Andes plus the Himalayas, wearing only a thong, a piece of broccoli gripped between our ass cheeks, climbing with only our teeth. Oh, wait, you can just go one website over and subscribe to me there. Come back to Twitter. The only alternative is for me to go one website over and click a button. I mean, I'm only human, I can't do it all. Come back to Twitter because there's no way I can get to you. You're a website over.
[43:13] Oh, that's funny. So much of the modern conservative movement is saying things that came from you, and they don't even know it was you who entered those ideas into the public consciousness. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe. I don't really follow much conservative media these days. Staffers have a good idea to share bank accounts between spouses before and after marriage. What the hell are you talking about, buddy? What the living Sam hell are you talking about? Bad you can't share spouses bank accounts before marriage because you're not spouses yet i don't know the idea of having separate bank accounts is completely bizarre to me honestly, oh thank you for the tip i appreciate that.
[43:56] Yes that is that is delightful that is delightful uh no i i honestly i can't i can't imagine why anybody would want separate bank accounts i mean you merged your one flesh right your one i don't know why people fight with their spouses that it's fighting with your spouse is like cutting yourself to make a point it's just self-harm you can't fight with your spouse they're exactly who you chose oh i had all the choice in the world i spent five years, choosing and dating in 10 years and choosing and dating and finally i found the one and we We dated for months or years, and we were engaged for months or years, and we'd be married for months or years, and I hate her. You can't fight your spouse without hating your own choices. She's a manifestation of everything you've chosen. You fight with her and put her down and aggress against her and call her names. You think you're doing anything other than punching a mirror and calling it ugly? I don't fucking understand it. I'm not talking to you. You're just talking about bank accounts, just in general. This may be coming out of a couple of private calls.
[45:10] I don't understand. Never tell your wife what you actually make a year. Some old guy gave me that advice once.
[45:23] Thou shouldst not have been old before thou wert wise.
[45:39] Ah, let's see here. I remember Stef getting the boot off YouTube. It took me about a week to figure out where he was, and I went to public school. Oh, well, that probably was it, right? People have short attention spans. tweets are easier to digest than long-form streams, and you could easily blow up on Twitter these days and return to your former glory. That's certainly a possibility. I mean, the idea that you'd hide anything from your wife in particular? I don't understand. I don't understand. Never tell your wife what you're making. That's insane. That's insane. What advice would you give to a 21-year-old version girl, old perfect 10 Christian and conservative, but can't find a potential husband. I sense a troll. It's a delusion of grandeur to assume people would gather around your feet just because you were speaking. I mean, I don't know who you're having a conversation with. I assume it's yourself, so I will not interrupt. I won't interrupt you talking to your own hand puppet because I don't I don't know what you're talking about. All right. Sorry, let me just get back to your comments.
[47:07] Whoever it was who said the Lauren Southern comment, just please be quiet. No, come on, it's enjoyable. Stef is here asking support while he's making all this money from the media. How am I making money from the media? I just love to hear these theories. I mean, how am I making money from the media? I'd love to know these theories. Oh, dear. It has been a pathetic time in history for loyalty. Cancel culture scares people.
[47:35] It's been an effective attack on the first amendment yes that's very true that's very true, steph many people inhabit their parents in their relationships trigger words make them morph into parental forms and fight for them but an unmasked adult doesn't fight with their spouse i would just be embarrassed to attack my wife as if she wasn't a reflection of my choices, i mean it's schizo in my view right, and you know you're telling me exactly what I talk about in Peaceful Parenting and what I've talked about in about a thousand call-in shows, so I do appreciate you telling me all the things I already know, but what the heck, right? Speaking just in your own stream and disconnected from the media, your churn isn't going to hold an audience any more than singing in the shower.
[48:30] Speaking just in your own stream and disconnected from the media churn isn't going to hold an audience any more than singing in the shower. So that's an analogy, and if you knew anything about philosophy, an analogy is not a proof. Now, of course, I have done shows with other people over the last couple of years, which you can go and check out. So are you saying that if I don't do larger people's shows, shows I tend to have a smaller audience. I just love all of these people who've never had a big show telling me how to get a big show.
[49:13] That's delightful. Well, Stef, it's true. You did have one of the biggest alternative media shows on the planet for quite a few years. But let me tell you what you need to do to get a big show. That's great. Oh my gosh. And this guy's talking about delusions of grandeur. Oh my gosh. Jordan Peterson's meltdown. Oh, that gets very sad, huh? It gets all very sad. All right, let me just get to your comments here. So yeah i mean look there are obviously there are people who've taken a payout and don't talk about things they know i mean i think right is it pretty obvious right and people who've taken a payout and are just not talking about things that they know to be essential, and i i mean i think that's terrible particularly if you've got some coin in your pocket right Particularly if you've made a bit of FU money, I find it odd that people just line up so particularly. Oh man, I don't quite get it. I don't quite get it.
[50:39] Oh, are we on? Let me see, let me see.
[50:53] All right, let's see here. You're a good guy, man. You changed the world. Thank you, I appreciate that. Certainly changed some people's world, and I appreciate that.
[51:15] What the hell is going on with peterson's daughter well that's that's a that's a fairly long and detailed story and in another life i'd probably dive into it more but i uh i don't have any particular incentive or reason to at the moment and by the way of course thank you very Thank you very much for the tips as a whole. Hey, Stef, I hope you're doing good. Appreciate that. Welcome back. I hope I'm doing good and well. And well. So, for me, it's like if... There's an old song by the late, great George Michael. Thank you for the tip. There's a great song called Freedom 90, I think it is. And it's a great album, Listen Without Prejudice. And there's a slow song where he says, The road I've taken has filled my pockets and emptied out my soul.
[52:31] Oh, the road that I have walked upon, Well, it filled my pockets, but emptied out my soul. And that is rough, man. That is rough. And it did. I mean, he became extraordinarily famous. I think he did sell out quite a lot of important principles. And it ended up kind of killing him, right?
[53:01] Stef, are you related to the Australian reality star turned neighbor's heartthrob who shares your surname? I do not know, but there is in fact a Molyneux newsletter, which does all of this. I am in the media. Here's one of your checks, Stef. There we go. It's all been worth it for that donation. Thank you. Thank you. Do you think people in the past supported or understood free speech more, or has the general public always not cared about freedom in the abstract, right before getting punched in the face? So...
[53:31] People have. Ooh. Ooh. Let me ask you this. Stef, what interviews do you think were the most important for the show? Well, I mean, the fact that I did the 17 interviews with the world-renowned intelligence researchers. I mean, that just made everything incontrovertible regarding IQ, right? I think those were pretty important. Okay. Give me a 1 to 10. Give me a 1 to 10. How deep? how fiery how much of a rant do you want i don't know if you can take this kind of rant i don't know if i can take this kind of rant i don't know man because this is a big one, do you think taylor swift has sold her soul uh oh yeah yeah i mean in my view uh absolutely she's entirely captured and conquered and colonized yeah yeah i mean she's f the patriarchy and so on, right? It's crazy. Right.
[54:32] Right, right, right. So free speech. Free speech cannot long survive people's insatiable desire to have people to hate.
[54:47] It seems to me that That the vast majority of mankind wakes up every morning like a coked-up anteater, sniffing the air, looking for someone to hate. And all they need, this seething, surging, back-and-forth, blood-tied sea of resentment is just rolling around in their gut. And they're just looking. They've got to vomit on someone, on something. You know, when you want to vomit and you've just got to grab a bucket or a cup or a bowl or a garbage can. And people are just full of this seething, frustrated rage and resentment. And they're just dying and begging for someone to hate. Can anybody find me somebody to hate? That's what they want. It's chilling. Like a bunch of half-animated zombies just looking to be shot through with the Zeus juice of electrical media propaganda propaganda so they can animate their fingertips and blaze through the trachea of someone they're told to hate. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
[55:58] That's the infinite power source of the universe. Vanity, greed, stupidity, and hate seems to be what people live for. Hate my husband, hate my wife, hate my kids, hate my job, hate the unvaccinated, hate this, hate that, hate whites, oh my God!
[56:20] Can you take a breath without spreading the poison of hate in every exhalation? It seems that that's just a bridge too far for the vast majority of humanity, right? I mean, I remember back on my Twitter days, I'd make some comment about India, and the Indian Twitter brigade would arrive to tell me what a bigot I was. And I would say, oh, and I'd say something because I did the truth about colonialism. Do you know when the British took over every land that they took over, they granted everyone immediately human rights, to which the natives said, Human rights? What is that? Is that the right to eat humans? No, no. Property rights, free speech, participative government. We're giving you human rights. What? Rights. Is that like a spice you use for the human? No, no. Okay, let's start this again. And they would come and get mad at me about india the raj 150 years ago terrible i'm like you know that india like in india you like literally murder 15 million girls every year out of sex selection, infanticide right you know maybe just maybe that's a little bit more to look at in terms of the morality of your country than what happened 150 years ago when you got railways and human rights and they interrupted the sooty practice of forcing the bride to jump on the burning pyre of her husband's grave.
[57:48] Oh, the hate, the hate, the hate. You know, those unvaccinated people are going to make you sick and kill grandma, and that's the reason you can't have any rights. Those unvaccinated, ooh, ah, ooh, yeah, ooh, those unvaccinated. Like a year later, everyone's functionally unvaccinated because they don't take the boosters, but apparently they just hated the unvaccinated. And then they return like there's just some cryogenic freezing mechanism by which they simply did not exist for the three years of the two minutes hate on the unvaccinated or anyone who questioned anything safe and effective how could they know it's been four fucking months i was talking to i had some workers over today and we were just chatting as i love chatting with people i'll honestly like don't ever come and do work at my house because Because I'll just chat with you and make you late for your next appointment. Because I just love chatting with people, right? And the guy was like, yeah, yeah. No, I got vaccinated and I got the boosters and I got COVID three times. And I got sicker each time. I'm like, oh my God.
[59:04] Love gathering these data points. Love gathering my data points.
[59:18] Those are the bad people Whoever's pointing at the bad people Particularly if they're the people in power Just follow the arm back up to the shoulder Look at the head, those are the bad people, You take away people's Hatreds, it seems like for most people You're taking away their reason to get out of bed In the morning, oh I hate my boss Really, are you a great employee? You ever try to manage people? No, I just hate them, It's like if you blocked up people's hatred and demanded that they drop the habit of hating.
[1:00:06] Would their heads explode? Would their hearts explode in their chest, John Hurt style? Like, what would happen? What would happen? Oh, yeah, just being taught and trained and propagandized into hating people. Ugh. Just hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. What would people do without their hatreds? What would they do without their class enemies or their race enemies or their gender enemies or their patriarchy or God knows what. What would they do without their, what would they do without hate non-conservatives or even hate non-liberals? Like what would they do without their hatred? How would they guide themselves without the North Star of hating the living shit out of people or groups or races or sexes?
[1:00:58] Just hatred, hatred, hatred, hatred, right?
[1:01:13] Like the CEO of YouTube, obviously, was not a big fan of mine. I talked a lot about addiction and adverse childhood experiences and the costs of childhood trauma and how it leads to addiction. And then her son was later found dead some years, a couple of years after I was deplatformed. Her son was found dead in his dorm at UC Berkeley. Just awful.
[1:01:59] The grandmother said that she believed her grandson died from a drug overdose. If I had been on YouTube, maybe he would have seen my work. Maybe he would have found a way out of his addiction. Oh, you can't trust men. You've got to be a strong, independent boss bitch, babe. You can't trust men. Don't rely on a man. Hate man, hate man, hate man. They're just programming you to deliver votes. They're just sowing endless fields of cat ladies so that they can harvest votes for more power. Man, and I see that tsunami of female loneliness coming, right? Soon half of women over 30 are going to be childless without relationships and so on. Ugh.
[1:03:03] Hey, Stef, years ago you helped me get out of a MGTOW mindset. I want to thank you for that. Hey, beautiful, beautiful. You know, I got to tell you, I mean, I don't think it's inconsequential that I came from the background that I came from, obviously horrible levels of child abuse and so on, and that I have now, gosh, now my wife for like 22 or 23 years, we've been married for 22 years.
[1:03:29] And it's just beautiful like it's it's wonderful like marriage just keeps getting better and better like every time you think it's great it's just like yeah it's even better than you think and i do think that having that as an example is i think nice for people right so like all the bitterness people there aren't any good women and blah blah blah blah you know i mean obviously i didn't get the only one and she didn't get the only good man and you know it's just absolutely wonderful Absolutely wonderful. I mean, marriage is the greatest institution the planet will ever see.
[1:04:01] To have somebody by your side that you absolutely adore, who's incredible amounts of fun, and who keeps you sane. Like you know you you can't stay sane in isolation we have a hive mind we have through being social animals we have offloaded our reality processing in part to other people now they can keep you sane or they can make you completely insane but having someone in your life that you love worship and adore who's incredibly fun and and she is a joyful person man she is she is a scoldingly wonderfully beautifully supernovaly joyful person and that is something well i drink deep of and it's a beautiful thing so i hope that that helps i think just having that example with uh can help people get out of the migtow because the migtow stuff is like there aren't any good women nothing good can happen uh it's all uh it's all you know thoughts and whores and and frigid and blah blah blah, blah, right? Yeah.
[1:05:05] Yeah, that's very sad. And I can feel this. It's a female tsunami of loneliness and isolation. You know, all it takes to make society insane is to have people make enough bad decisions that they can't recover.
[1:05:24] If you can get people to make enough decisions that they can't really recover, they're just committed to their insanity. Which is why I used to be on Twitter. I would post the stuff like, ladies, your fertility pretty much crashes at 40, but you live to 80. If you don't have kids, what are you going to do? What are you going to do?
[1:05:49] And i know i know that a lot of men in the manosphere i did a lot of research for that for my last novel the present which you should totally get a free demand.com books but i did a lot of research in the manosphere and of course i've spoken at men's rights conferences and so on but you know it's real easy for guys to say oh the women who rejected us in their 20s are going gonna get theirs in their 40s and now they wanna they've ridden the carousel and now they want me and my prime to pick up them and blah blah blah it's like bro this is part of the hatred come on man geez all the guys out there resenting women who make their bad choices do you really think if you were a hot young woman that you'd make a whole lot of better choices come on it's so So sad.
[1:06:43] It's so sad. You know, I was talking to a woman, I think it was yesterday. We do these sometimes, and I just wanted to point this out. If you're a subscriber, freedomain.locals.com or subscribestar.com slash freedomain. If you're a donor, if you're a subscriber, we do these donor-only voice chats. And I was doing a voice chat with a woman, a very attractive woman. I'd actually done a call-in show with her the night before, but it hasn't been published yet. And she was a very attractive woman. So let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this.
[1:07:21] You're a guy. If you're a guy, I want you to guess, assuming you weren't in on this flash conference. If you're a young, attractive woman and you go to a nightclub or a bar, how many times do you get hit on over the course of a night? Just out of curiosity. How many times a night would she get hit on? As a young, attractive woman. What do you think? What do you think? 50. Am I there by myself or with a guy? 35, 25 times an hour. How big a nightclub? Oh my God. Okay. All right. Excellent. Good to know. Good to know.
[1:08:32] She said 40 to 50 on average which I mean some nights more some nights less 40 to 50, now almost no men will experience that over the course of their lifetime, so if you are an attractive woman at a nightclub 40 to 50 guys will hit on you over the course of an evening happening. So, all the people who were like, well, these women make these terrible decisions, and they're just thoughts and sluts and this and that and the other, it's like, okay, okay, so you got all the propaganda in the universe trained on you, right? If you're a white male, you don't have much propaganda trained at you except to get you to try and dislike yourself or your history or culture or whatever, right? But if you're a woman, you got all this massive laser-like propaganda directly pointed at you, and you're in the very flush and height of your dating market value, right? Late teens, early 20s, mid-20s, whatever you want to say, right?
[1:09:40] Now, I want all the haters out there to look me directly in the eye and say they know for for absolute certain, that if they were a young, hot woman, that they would have made absolutely, wonderfully better decisions. With all that propaganda and all of that power and 40 to 50 guys hitting on you every night in the club, that you get your pick of whoever you want. Anybody who says they know for absolute certain they would never have made any bad decisions as a young, hot woman is lying through their teeth. That's just an absolute, complete, and total lie.
[1:10:23] Absolute, complete, and total lie. Now, I had, of course, a number of women hit on me when I was younger. I had women who would offer to get my books published, which I desperately wanted to have happen in return for sleeping with them and all of that. I was a very, very good-looking young man. I mean, I've posted the picture here before. I don't think you particularly care to see it, but I'll show it to you anyway, just because I don't want you to think that I'm deluded. I was a good-looking young man. and I'll post the picture because I want you to understand that I understand to some degree, obviously I wasn't getting hit on 40 or 50 times a night, but I just want you to understand what it's like and to have some humility about how silly it is for you to somehow imagine that no matter what, you were going to just make massively better decisions than everybody else, all the women out there, no matter what, in what circumstances. They just make bad decisions. You would just make wonderful decisions. All of that is a massive, bizarre, and eerie delusion. It's not true. You probably would have made absolutely terrible decisions, as women do, as a whole, as well. I will put this here so you can see how I looked at the age of 18. Boy, I wish YouTube had been around then. I could have done my covers of Take On Me.
[1:11:46] And it all would have been tasty and juicy. All right, let me get this here. Can this dragon drop?
[1:11:54] Can it? Let's see here. Let's find out. Oh, yeah, here we go. All right. What the heck? Oh, no, no. Oh, they don't do it. Okay. Well, we'll get there. We'll get there. I'll throw the picture in. What the heck? So, yeah, I mean, did I make great decisions with that kind of access? No, I didn't make great decisions. Absolutely not. so have some humility that if you had been in that situation you probably would have made some pretty terrible decisions too and maybe you would have had some real fun making some pretty terrible decisions i know i did but yeah just this this idea that well i i could i can handle power no problem oh yes me me and power we just we're totally fine me and power yeah no problem at all not true, not true even a little bit, oh, I don't want to be there sorry, I went to the wrong place.
[1:13:07] So, yes, very sad, don't imagine it it's all the people who if I had political power I'd do the right thing if I had political power everything would be wonderful it's like no it wouldn't have been nobody can handle political power and nobody can handle any kind of excess of sexual power you just can't do it oh i don't think i can post pictures over here so yeah just hatred just hatred.
[1:13:49] Yeah so i don't know to me it's just kind of funny that people are just so absolutely certain that you know women just make all these terrible decisions but i would have made absolutely wonderful decisions right oh my gosh it's that oh the women can't handle power but i sure could i should have as a hot girl i would have made much better right all right so let's see here.
[1:14:27] You've never touched covid for three years now you're passionate, i was literally one of the first people on the planet to talk about covid bro, ah like i had just come back from doing a documentary on hong kong where i got But tear gas, pepper sprayed through support of the anti-communist riots. I talked to the guy who wrote their constitution. I did a lot of interviews and came back and my contacts out there all told me right away, oh, China's just had its Chernobyl. This is going to be a huge deal. I literally was one of the first people on the planet in the West to talk about COVID and I talked about it forever and ever and a day. I did an entire video called The Case Against China where I laid out all the biological and scientific reasons why this shit came from the lab in Wuhan. You just get your fucking head out of your ass and learn something. Alright, let's see here.
[1:15:36] So, yeah, so listen, I know how to build a channel. I mean, I already did it from nothing. I know how to build a channel, so people telling me, well, you know, if you don't follow where the big audience is, you might not have a big audience. And if you don't expose yourself to more people, it's like, I know all of that. Right? Come on. Come on. Come on. It's not a lack of knowledge. Right? All right. All right. Let's see here. Just trying to find anything useful over here, but I'm not really... Not really. Stef, I'm just wondering why you quit doing the full research videos on politics to explain to the masses just how much the media is lying to them and how Trump has been railroaded in every way possible. Yeah, I did all of that.
[1:16:28] And it became so obvious that the media was false that I had no particular idea how to explain it to people when it was just so obvious, right? Why do you think guys drop out of the dating market, though? Yeah. Oh, look, I'm not saying go marry the women who've slept around. I'm not saying that at all. Don't marry women who've slept around. In my humble opinion, the data on it, you can look at the truth about sex, my presentation, the truth about sex. Just go to fdrpodcast.com, do a search for sex. So I'm not saying go marry. I'm just saying that you would probably have made and I would probably have made equally bad decisions if we had that much dating market value. you. If we had hit the peak, imagine, I want you to think of this. Imagine that when you were 18 years old, someone gave you $5 million tax-free. Just imagine that. When you were 18 years old, someone gave you $5 million. Do you think you'd invest that wisely and save it for a rainy day? No. You'd blow it on stupid shit, at least a lot of it, right? Maybe you'd end up with some of it left over but you'd squander a lot of it why because you're 18 or 20 oh but if someone gave me five million dollars at the age of 18 i would have just put it in our esps.
[1:17:52] Oh my gosh why are people on rumble so cheap i almost never get any donations from people on rumble it's just funny it's just funny to me just funny, yeah you'd buy a Bugatti or like whatever right I mean you know I get all of that right I get all of that, yeah the truth about sex yeah I don't don't marry women who've had a lot of sexual partners and haven't done therapy or whatever to deal with that stuff because they're going to divorce your ass and extract your wallet through your urethra.
[1:18:30] What platforms do you use now? So you can go to freedomain.com slash connect and go there. And go there. And you can see all of the places. So why do men drop out of the dating market?
[1:18:52] Why do young men drop out of the dating market? Well, there's lots of reasons, but the one that people don't understand is... Let's say you have dysfunctional parents and you have not cleaned up that relationship. It's quite common. It's quite common. You have dysfunctional parents and you've not cleaned up that relationship. You haven't talked to them directly. You haven't had those direct conversations. You haven't said, here are my issues. And you haven't said what you want, which is usually an apology and a restitution and some commitment you can believe in by which it won't happen again, the dysfunction. So let's say you've got mean parents, they frighten you, they were mean to you when you were younger, maybe they hit you, maybe their parents fought a lot in front of you, maybe they put you down, they insulted you, and they just did some bad things! And now you're 30 and you're still wrapped up in all of that dysfunction and you can't say a single shred of truth to the people in your life who did you the most harm of anyone which is dysfunctional parents. If they were dysfunctional, I'm not talking everyone, right? So now, you're trapped. This is why you bail out of the dating market. This is why you bail out of the dating market.
[1:20:16] The reason you bail out of the dating market is because you don't want a life like your parents, but you can't get a different life because you're still wrapped up in lying to your parents. You understand, withholding the truth from people is a form of deception. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I don't know why. I talk to Christians all the time, some of them on my call-in shows, and they all say, yes, yes, I'm such a Christian. Did your parents do you harm? Oh, yes, they did these wrong things. Like I talked to one guy, one guy whose parents fought in front of him all the time, all the time, fought in front of him all the time. Bicker, bicker, bicker, bicker, bicker. A couple of times a week at least.
[1:20:53] And I said, well, that's a sin. He was Christian, right? I said, that's a sin. What do you promise? To love, honor, and obey. you promised to Almighty God to love, honor, and obey. So if you're bickering and it's harming your children and you're bickering, then you're breaking your marriage vows. It's a form of infidelity to fight with your wife because you promised to Almighty God to love, to honor, and obey. Now, that doesn't mean, of course, don't have disagreements, don't have differences of opinion. Of course, of course. But fight, insult, put down, bicker, knicker, sticker, bullshit. Shit and another thing especially in front of your kids you do not do that it is a sin, and they're still doing it now even worse now that they're old they all kinds of george and martha from who's afraid of virginia wolf bullshit going on.
[1:21:48] It's halfway to john osborne to look back in anger.
[1:21:54] So I said to the guy, but you need to confront your parents because they're sinning. They've broken their vows to God by bickering and fighting and put each other down, for 40 years. And they're going to go to hell if they continue to sin and break their vows to God and having harmed their children, which is a sin. So why don't you say something? The most powerful commandment to me it's different for everyone but the most powerful commandment to me is thou shalt not bear false witness which means in matters of import of good and evil you tell the freaking truth or you don't have a relationship don't be in a relationship to lie, that is lying that you even have a relationship you don't you only have a relationship with delusion, fear, anxiety, terror, subjugation, and self-erasure. Saying you have a relationship that's based upon subjugation and deception is saying that you can live in a house that's currently burning to the ground.
[1:23:17] So, if you have dysfunctional parents, and you meet a quality woman. What's that quality woman going to do? Well, she's going to have kind of the following conversation with you. She's going to meet your parents, and she's going to say, well, they're kind of messed up, man. You know, they kind of insulted you. You really self-erase around them. You're not direct. I've never seen you like that, just kind of shrunken in on yourself, and you just, you know, when they say jump, you say how high? Like, it's pretty gross, right? This is not this is not good and then she'll ask you about your childhood and you'll tell her about your childhood and she'll say so they did a lot of harm to you and you say yes but I love them and you say okay well, what do you love about them and you won't be able to answer.
[1:24:10] And then she'll say, do you love me? And you say, yes. I say, well, I love you and I do good things for you and I care about you. I don't frighten you. So you love me and then you also love, you say, these people who did the greatest harm to you and don't want to hear any truth from you and seem to put you down a lot. So you, I don't understand how you're using the word love to mean both things. And they'll get all tongue-tied and tripped up on that. And then she'll say two questions, two questions. Number one, number one, are your messed up parents going to be involved in the raising and nurturing of our children? And you're going to say, yes, or I guess so. Or it's like, okay, well, if you're indifferent to it, then they'll push for it and they'll do it because you don't have any barrier. Okay, so I see men marry women, women marry families. This is a fundamental disconnect that used to be understood. You look at a woman and you think, wow, she's a great woman, blah, blah, blah, individual, blah, blah, blah, because you want to have sex with her and you have sex with her, not her family. Whereas she looks at you and sees a whole clan because women got to integrate into a whole other family. They got a mother-in-law, they got a father-in-law, they got aunts, they got to merge into all of that. They got to be around those people. You're off at work and she's trying to raise kids with crazy grandma, grandpa and aunts and uncles all around.
[1:25:35] So she's judging you by your family, and she should. She absolutely should.
[1:25:45] So if you're like, oh, yes, no, absolutely, they're going to be involved in raising our kids, she'd be like, hmm, okay. Number one, I guess I got my answer to that one. Number two, if you don't mind, tell me this. Do you plan on taking care of your parents when they get old? Because these days, man, it is a long, slow incline. There's no slippery slope into death. It's not like tuberculosis and being hit by a tram anymore. It is a long, slow decay into death these days. It can take five years, ten years, or more for somebody to go from infirmity to death. And it is a big-ass, long, deep canoe over a very, very slow fucking waterfall these days. Everyone's propped up by various vitamins and health interventions and support and Lord knows what, drugs. And they just keep going and going. and like withers, like ghouls, going. So then she says, as she should, what's going to happen? See, you don't think. You're just like, wow, this girl's really cute and funny and sexy and I love her so much and blah, blah, blah. And she's like, okay, where's your crazy mom going to be for the last 15 years of her life?
[1:26:55] Because she's marrying a family, you're marrying just a woman. Because you're off at work and hunting and she's got to deal with all this shit.
[1:27:02] And, as the woman, she's going to be taking care of the elderly.
[1:27:19] So she's going to ask you these two questions. And you're going to be like, well, yes, of course, I'm going to take care of my parents. And yes, of course, they're going to be heavily involved in the raising of our children. And then she's going to say, I'm sorry, I'm afraid they're not. Yeah, I'm afraid they're not. And you'll be like, well, you can't make that decision for me. And she's going to say, I'm afraid that I can. And I say this with great sorrow because you're a pretty great guy, but I'm not spending the the next 30 or 40 years around your parents and and i'm not spending the next 30 40 years around you and your parents because they erase you and it's too painful for me to see and you're asking me to break bread and say that i like people who did you the most harm of all who won't even listen to you talk about that harm who refuse to apologize make restitution amendments anything, I can't do it I can't put my kids through that so yeah maybe your parents will help you raise some other woman's kids but sorry it's not going to be me, it won't do it appreciate it.
[1:28:43] So that's why men take themselves out of the dating market because they don't want they know that they can't get a quality woman if they're around dysfunction their own dysfunctional parents would you i know i'm a little bit of a internet dad to some people big daddy big daddy Would you like one of the biggest and most unknown realities of masculinity that nobody talks about?
[1:29:22] Hit me with a why, and I don't think you've heard this before. But if you want to be successful with women and you want to be happily married, there is one rule you absolutely must follow that nobody talks about. I've told you this is going to be a great show tonight. It's going to be fire. And ladies, you tell me if I'm wrong. Ladies, you tell me if I'm wrong, and I will eat my watch. I may not be able to digest it. But I'll eat it. All right. Now, gentlemen, there are some severe advantages to being male. I love being a man. I love being male. I love the strength. I love the size. I love the height. I love not having a period. I love the fact that there's no such thing as menopause. I don't love the anxiety that comes with asking out girls when I was younger. I don't like the fact that sometimes you've got to be the primary breadwinner. There's a lot of things I don't like about it. But I like the fact that I don't have to squeeze a watermelon out of my ass to give birth. So that seems nice. So there are lots of pluses about being a man.
[1:30:39] But there is one absolute ironclad rule for a successful relationship with a woman. You're not going to like it, but the ladies will agree with me. To have a successful relationship with a woman, you cannot, repeat after me, my friends, you can fucking not be in positions of enslavement, falsehood, and subjugation. You cannot do that. You cannot let your woman see you in situations of subjugation. Ever. Never. It's just not a thing. It's not allowed. You can't do it. You can't do it. Whatever maneuvers you have to make, you cannot be in a situation of subjugation. Certainly not one that is voluntary. Now, okay, so, I don't know, some cop pulls you over. Yes, you're nice to the cop. You listen to the cop, whatever it is. That's not the issue. That's not the issue. But you cannot be walking into voluntarily subjugating yourself to others, particularly a woman.
[1:31:49] You cannot be in a subjugated position. Now, let me be precise about this. A subjugated position is not where you lose a fight.
[1:32:11] Because conflict and combat is inevitable for men. We fight. We fight. Verbally, economically, sometimes physically, we fight. And everybody knows, everybody knows, that the only fights you constantly win are the ones where the stakes are way too low. So, a woman will not respect you if you don't lose, because if you don't lose from time to time, it means you're not trying hard enough or the stakes are too low. Hey, look, I beat my six-year-old cousin in squash again. And hey, I won. Yeah, she's not going to respect you unless you're going up against worthy opponents, which means from time to time, you're going to get your ass kicked. That's not what I'm talking about with regards to subjugation.
[1:33:05] You go to work, and you have an idea that you think is great, and your boss vetoes it after you debate him, and you say to your boss, I think we should do this, and here's why, and he's like, no, I'm not going to do it, I'm overriding you. That is not being subjugated. Your woman will not look down upon you for trying to get something going at work, and it failing, it not working. She will not lose respect for you for going up against your boss or a co-worker and losing, right? So if you never put yourself in a situation where you can lose and do lose, your woman will not respect you because you're obviously shying away from fights where there's an equal or a potential equal. Okay, hit me with a why if what I'm saying makes sense. Because the final thing is to come. Hit me with a why if what I'm saying makes sense. Please. I would like to know. Does it make sense? Does it make sense? Does it make sense? Yes. Okay.
[1:34:21] Your wife will not lose respect for you. Your girlfriend will not lose respect for you. if you go to your boss, try to get your way, and your boss overrides you. She will not lose respect for you. She will lose respect for you if you're too terrified of your boss to open your mouth in the first place. Do you follow?
[1:34:48] She will not mind. In fact, she'll probably quite like it and might, in fact, be quite turned on if you come out of that allegorical boxing ring bloodied and beaten, this is why in the movie Rocky it doesn't matter in the first one in fact it's kind of sexy that Rocky gets his ass handed to him and loses.
[1:35:17] It doesn't matter if you lose. But it matters if you're terrified to fight. If you throw the spear and miss, she can live with that because you took a chance. However, if you're too chicken to even pick up the spear, then you have a big problem. This is true, right? I'm not saying anything false. Get out there, fight, win, lose, do something. And you understand, biologically, women cannot lose respect for men who fail in an honest fight, because that's natural, that's going to happen. It means the man is operating at a level that is fair and competitive. If you're winning all the time, it means you're being a bully, and if you're losing all the time, it means you're not able to judge risk accurately. Accurately, so sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, that's totally fine for women. Doesn't matter. If you lose, it matters if you don't fight at all.
[1:36:25] We like, yes, you're right. You're right, Denisa, you like being there doing the lows. Yes, if your boss, if your man goes out there and tries to get something and loses and it's really tough and he, you know, but he went out and tried and you can help build him back up and you can figure out what went wrong. There's nothing wrong with that. She will respect the hell out of you, even and particularly if you get your ass handed to you on a plate, because you're in the ring. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Yeah, we like being there during the lows, but not when you were the low, right? That's That's how it works, right? Right?
[1:37:06] So, why am I talking about parents? Why am I talking about dysfunctional parents and you cannot be weak in front of dysfunctional parents in any place where your woman can see you? Distancing yourself from conflict is the problem. Yeah, honey, hi honey, I just came home from beating five-year-olds in basketball. That's a lady boner killer if ever there was one, right? That's going to turn her as dry as the air above the Sahara.
[1:37:55] All makes sense. Parents, are you with me so far? Are you with me so far? So you go to your parents' place with your girlfriend, and your parents are kind of dismissive and mean, and they talk about nothing, and she'll sense if you're too frightened to speak about anything honest with them.
[1:38:28] Because you self-erase, you vanish, you cow down, you bow, you abandon yourself, you ghost yourself, you become nothing around your parents. And she sees you subjugated, occupied, colonized, enslaved.
[1:38:52] I'm the black sheep because I constantly fight against my dysfunctional family. I need a girl that's on my team. Stop fighting. Stop fighting a constant fight is an inevitable loss yeah why would you fight that's sad, oh about this you were doing shows on COVID in December 2019 it wasn't really a big thing until February 2020 you were talking about it months before most other people yes yes yes yes I won't put up with their shit anymore okay so stop fighting them yeah, because if you're, if your girlfriend sees you go into fights and constantly lose, and you can't win against dysfunctional people because they don't obey rules and you probably have a conscience.
[1:39:40] It says to us that we can't trust you in the world because if someone were to do this to the chosen family, you'll be weak there too. Yes. So if your girlfriend sees you being bossed around and subjugated by your abusive parents or neglectful parents or dysfunctional parents, then she's going to know that there is a path by which other people can control the living shit out of you which means that there's an avenue by which you can be taken from her, and will not protect her and the children and that is a terrible terrible place for a woman to be do you know how much trust a woman has to have in you in order to let you make her big with child and slip on past the goalie.
[1:40:26] If you are too frightened to be honest with your parents, see, remember, you've probably talked about your parents with your girlfriend. You said, oh, these bad things and those bad things, and this was problem, that problem, and so on, right? If you're honest, and if you're not honest, I don't even know what you're doing in the relationship. So then she finally sees all these ogres. Oh my gosh, here are your parents. Here's your mother. Here's your father. I don't know why we're here, but let's see what happens. And then she sees you like, oh yeah, no, you're right. Oh yes, dad. Oh yes, mommy. Oh no, that's fine. Oh, yes, can I get you anything else? Can I get you some cream for your coffee? Oh, it's just there gross, Gross, And she'll be like, okay Well, maybe they'll go old and die but anyone like them is going to disassemble the soul of the man who's supposed to protect me right Right.
[1:41:30] It's the biggest of X. Yeah, it is. You cannot let your female ever see you voluntarily subjugated.
[1:41:51] It's just, and this is not saying don't be vulnerable. You can be vulnerable. You can say, man, I've got this problem with my parents and it was tough when I was young. I'm not saying don't be emotional. I'm not saying don't be vulnerable. She's trusting you with absolutely everything, more so than a man trusting a woman with his life savings and assets because he could work to make them back. Yeah. There are literally zero men who are not cowards. That's totally bitchy right you know that and it's not true and it's not true my partner had never questioned his parents before talking to me he listened to what i saw in them and confronted them the next day they have zero pull over his choices now put a ring on it so fast yeah of course clean house clean house clean house clean house, clean house.
[1:42:52] That's just a price it is just a price for being a man that you absolutely cannot let your, wife or girlfriend or children see you enslaved subjugated owned broken pushed around bullied lead. Nope, it won't work. So if you have dysfunctional parents in your life, you won't confront them, then you can't get a quality woman. All you could do is get a woman who doesn't mind the fact that you're pushed around by your mother because she's eager to take your mom's place and push you around some more. You can't bend the knee. You cannot bend the knee.
[1:43:36] So you know you've come full circle, right? We've come full circle. How have we come full circle from the beginning of the show?
[1:43:42] Told you it was going to be a banger, baby. And I'm going to just save the finale for now. Because this is some big shit. Remember I was talking about the costs of telling the truth. Which is, myself, my conscience, my friends, my family would all have watched me bend the knee when I didn't absolutely have to.
[1:44:15] So what did I keep? Self-respect, a good conscience, the love of friends and family, the respect of my child. So that's how I overcame my self-pity at the shrunken audience and the tiny reach compared to before. Oh no, I've given up a plethora of anonymous eyeballs and a chunko-chunko income. But the consolation prize is the love of my family family, self-respect, the love of my friends, happiness, contentment with my choices, a good conscience, bam! All you have to do is ask the right questions, and the answers are obvious. Would I give up the love of my wife, the respect of my friends and child, and self-respect and a good conscience for money and reach. Would I be willing to alienate those close to me in order to please those I will never meet?
[1:45:42] And that's how you overcome the self-pity is you realize the stakes that are there and you realize that the costs are far greater than the benefits, and it's easy and that's why I had renewed energy for the show tonight which I think you can see does that make sense? Didn't I tie that together in a bow beautifully beautifully. Thank you, Dylan. I appreciate the tips. If you appreciate the renewed energy and commitment and clarity and focus, and in fact, pretty radical honesty for somebody online, freedemand.com slash donate. I would really, really appreciate it. And I really do appreciate you guys being here. Really do. We're all contributing to an incredible gift for the future. It really is the most incredible gift we're giving to the future, which is the scalding and supernova honesty of this conversation. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate you keeping it all going. Of course, if you're listening to this later, freedomain.com slash donate, I really, really appreciate that. Oh, I'm sorry, you were going through an ectopic pregnancy. Those are rough, and they can be dangerous. I'm glad you're all right. And I'm sure it will happen next time. Next time.
[1:47:06] All right, any other last comments, Questions? Challenges? Issues? Criticisms? Problems?
[1:47:19] All right. Lots of comments, lots of comments. Are we catching up? All right. Well, thank you everyone so much for a lovely evening of rampant honesty and directness. I really appreciate your feedback and your support of the show, freedomain.com slash donate. No disrespect, Stef, was wondering if you ever thought of an end date for the stream or are you going till the wheels fall off? The end date is now for the stream. I can feel myself drying up, drying up much like the squishy bits of your girlfriend when she sees you being subjugated voluntarily. So yes, we're drying up. Thank you, everyone. Have yourselves a gorgeous, beautiful evening. Thank you for joining me tonight. I will see you on Sunday at 11 a.m. Lots of love. Got some great call-in shows coming, by the way. Don't forget, if you want a private call-in show, freedemand.com slash call, or just a regular call-in show, you can fill out that form. Bye.
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