When to drop 'friendships'…

"Why do some people go through life without significant and meaningful goals? I have a friend who is 41 in a few months and she has no savings and no real dreams. I know she wants a domestic life and wanted a family at one point, but things didn’t work out with the guy she was in love with and now she’s living very casually, like a young adult. I’m 34 and I’ve been trying to get my life together. I’ve got some savings and I’m being persistent about my goals. My friend recently returned from travelling and I lent her $ because she was completely without a dollar to her name. I noticed that since then she has been a bit resentful towards me, she in some way feels entitled to help from me but I can’t help her anymore. She tells herself that the reason she isn’t well is that people won’t help her, but they do and she never has enough resources to help anyone else. I’ve reflected on it and I’ve realized that her problem is she doesn’t really want anything for herself or others with passion. There isn’t anything meaningful that drives her forward in life, she is aimless. I worry that as time goes by it will be more difficult for her to avoid her own lack of motivation by relying on the sympathy of others. She is very intelligent and creative. Great language skills and very quick to learn new skills. It appears the only thing holding her back is a mental construct. How can she find passion for a goal that will incentivize her to accumulate resources and an independent sense of security? What will happen if she doesn’t?"

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May 2024

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