0:00 - Understanding Parenting Perspectives
8:19 - Social Skills and Child Development
10:39 - Bridging the Adult-Child Gap
12:33 - Power Dynamics in Parenting
In this episode, we dive deep into the intricacies of parenting and the potential long-term effects on children’s desires regarding parenthood. We address the provocative question: Is a child's desire to have their own family a fair gauge of their upbringing? I posit that well-parented children may still choose not to become parents, challenging conventional notions about generational continuity and desire for family.
Throughout our discussion, I reflect on my own views regarding the people who consciously choose not to have children. Drawing from personal beliefs, I candidly share my perspective that those who reject parenthood may carry an underlying gloom or dissatisfaction, a sentiment that feels deeply rooted considering the evolutionary journey of humanity. I emphasize the historical context of our existence—the struggles, sacrifices, and countless generations that have led to our present state—asserting a deep-seated moral obligation to continue this legacy. To me, choosing not to have children is not merely a personal stance but disrespects the vast tapestry of life that brought us here.
I dissect the consequences of the modern comfort and conveniences available today, challenging the notion that a difficult childhood can justify a choice against parenthood. I explore the complexities of human experiences through the lens of history, revealing that past generations faced far more harrowing challenges than many today can fathom. This historical perspective raises unsettling questions about the validity of contemporary concerns surrounding parenthood in relation to environmentalism, overpopulation, and personal fulfillment. I argue that they often stem from a kind of laziness or reluctance to embrace the hard truths of existence.
As we navigate the topic, I delve into what indicators might reflect whether a child has been raised well. Central to this is the child's ability to engage in meaningful conversation and social interactions, showcasing their upbringing and level of confidence. I highlight the importance of breaking down barriers between adults and children—advocating for a paradigm where children see adults as equals rather than distant, mythical figures. This approach nurtures healthy, communicative relationships and ultimately fosters well-adjusted individuals ready to navigate the complexities of life.
The conversation takes an intriguing turn as I recall personal anecdotes and observations from both my own upbringing and that of others in discussing transitions from childhood to adulthood. These reflections are combined with broader observations about societal power dynamics, often perpetuated by adults claiming superiority over youth. I emphasize the necessity of understanding and countering these power plays to create a supportive environment for growing children.
I conclude by reiterating the immense responsibility carried by parents, not only to raise children but to instill in them a sense of empowerment and connection to history. By embracing this responsibility and fostering open dialogue, we can positively impact future generations. I hope this discussion inspires listeners to reflect on their own values regarding family and the broader implications of our choices as individuals within the fabric of society.
[0:00] All righty, questions from freedomain.locals.com. Is this a fair way to gauge if a child has been well-parented? Asking whether or not they want to have their own family and children someday. In other words, is it possible that a well-parented kid would not want to be a parent when they grow up? Yeah, I mean, as you become a parent, it becomes progressively more important. Well, I should say it's very important to begin with to figure out which children are raised well or not. because the kids' security and happiness and all of that depends upon them having reasonably decent friends and all of that. So it is time for rank prejudice time. This is just, I'm not saying there's some big rational argument behind this. I'm just telling you straight up. For me, people who don't want kids are weird and depressed. There's something, to me, so foundationally wrong with people who don't want to have kids and I'm not talking about people who struggle to have kids or people who want kids but can't find the right person. I mean people who just like straight up antinatalists don't want to have kids.
[1:06] And it's incomprehensible to me as a whole and of course I can't help but think of the four billion years of evolution that got us to where we are and it just takes one selfish person to break the chain. It just takes one selfish person. It's such, like all of our ancestors reproduced. That's why we're here. every single one of her ancestors reproduced and they reproduced with the general idea and goal that other people were going to continue on the line right it's the old question of, if you knew ahead of time that you had you and your wife had some genetic whatever that you if you had kids all of your kids would be sterile would you have kids i think a lot of people would certainly have some pretty significant doubts about that. Is it worth having kids if you know your kids are going to be sterile? So we have kids on the idea or argument that they're also, they're going to continue the line, are going to continue the bloodline. So, you know, you've got to think of how many millions of generations go back to the dawn of living creatures that get to us. So every single one of those millions of generations struggled and fought, killed, died, survived the most unimaginable horrors in order for you and me to exist. To not pay it forward to me is such a fundamental lack of gratitude that it is incomprehensible as a whole.
[2:32] Having children is a deep celebration of the joys of existence.
[2:40] Having children is honoring all the sacrifices of all those who came before you, who handed the guttering candle of life through the endless storms.
[2:52] Pre-history and history. Every ape that dodged a jaguar, every serf that survived, everybody who raised children during a time of plague or pestilence, famine, war, natural disasters of every kind, displacement. People, you know, humanity got down to about 10,000 people during the last ice age and they fought their way back. If any one of your ancestors had chosen not have children at all, you wouldn't be here. Or if they'd chosen to have one less child and your parents or someone along the line happened to be late in the birth order, well, and you wouldn't be here. Now, if with all the comforts and conveniences and medicines and dentistry of the modern world, you can't stand to be here, then there's something wrong with what happened to you or what you've done with it or both. And if you say, well, you know, my childhood was was traumatic and so on. And yes, of course, I understand. I've talked to a lot of people over the course of the show. Yes, a lot of childhoods are very bad. Absolutely.
[3:58] However, imagine what it was like when superstition reigned. I mean, science is only a couple of hundred years old, really. And the sort of general education of the general population and the values of science, reason and objectivity is really only 100 to 150 years old so you know 0.0001 percent of sort of human evolution we actually had a rational scientific understanding of the world prior to that it was all gods ghosts goblins the undead spirits superstition curses voodoo like of every terrifying kind the world sort of epistemologically in terms of its actual reality the world was a nightmare of psychosis, right? The world was a nightmare of psychosis. You lived in a waking dream of satanic devils and priestly classes and sacrifice and murder and torture and you name it.
[5:04] And so almost all of human history was a massive fever dream of rank, terrifying, psychotic subjectivity and torture and murder. You know, there's this kind of funny myth about how the witch burning, oh, it's just witch hunting. Well, and it's like, oh, all these strong independent women were challenging the church and they got killed. It's like, nope, that's not what happened. It was women informing on other women for the most part to take out sexual rivals. But one hysterical young woman even informed on herself and a lot of women were in fact arrested for being witches because they were giving abortion potions to other women that were causing the death of people. They were literally murderers in that way.
[5:43] That's life throughout almost all of human history. You believe the earth was flat and that we lived in the mind of battling demons and gods and ghosts and ancestors and what would be considered pure psychoses in the modern world was everybody's general perception of reality. You lived in a madhouse of deranged people with just enough wit to deviate from everything that is natural, but not enough wit to classify anything as objective. Oh, don't you like it when those sentences slide together that way? When the syllables fornicate, and you get some glorious offspring. A lot of what I do is oral sex, let's be honest. So, because I'm now analyzing sects, why, what did you hear? Oh, filthy. Anyway, so I think a child who is well-raised will see that that his parents enjoyed being parents. They enjoyed having children. They enjoyed the whole process. And they are pro-life, and they are affirming, and they are enthusiastic about the future, or at least enough to have kids. And the people who don't want to have kids, well, I mean, they're on strike. And why do people go on strike? Because they're miserable.
[6:58] Or, you know, there is a certain laziness that people have about having kids. In that they say, well, you know, they may have all of these abstract reasons, you know, like some environmental depopulation nonsense, right?
[7:15] But yeah, those same people who say it's really, really important to not have kids for the sake of depopulation are very keen on sending endless aid to the third world, which causes a lot of people to have a whole lot of kids. So it's certainly not that, but there's their laziness. Every day, it's easier to not have kids, right every day it's easier to not have kids every day generally it's easier to not eat well and just follow your taste buds it's easier to not exercise right it's easier to not think it's easier to not read you know flipping on some failed video is easier than reading a book by dostoevsky so i mean it's just a kind of laziness and so generally when i'm meeting kids i obviously don't talk about their future plans for families because that's not exactly where their mind's at But the thing I look for the most when it comes to meeting kids is, are they able to have a conversation? Are they able? Are they socialized? And not just socialized for other kids, but are they socialized to have eye contact, firm handshake, have a conversation without freaking out?
[8:20] Because if they can't have a conversation with an adult without freaking out, it means that they've been fairly aggressively raised and they live in a state of caution or fear. Yeah.
[8:31] That's mostly what I looked for. Are they able to have a conversation? Or, you know, a lot of people, and it's a funny thing how, for a lot of people, the line between child and adult is this massive gulf. Like, the adults were never children, the children are never going to grow into adults, and so on. I mean, I remember trying to have a conversation with a girlfriend's parents.
[8:57] Gosh, gosh, I was in my, I was 19 or so. And I was having a conversation with a girlfriend's parents and everything was just kind of stilted and awkward. And I'm, you know, even back then, I wasn't the worst conversationalist in the world. So everything was kind of stilted and awkward. And then they were also there to meet my mother, believe it or not. Yes, this was a long time ago, almost 40 years. But my mother came in and their entire demeanor completely changed. They were no longer dealing with foolish, wayward youths. They were, in fact, dealing with another adult who deserves respect. And they got up, and their whole demeanor changed, their whole posture changed, the animation in their voice came there, they straightened up, they beamed, they were very positive. Because now, you see, even though I was, of course, legally an adult.
[9:51] Now they were dealing with another capital P parent, and they were dealing with adults and did not have to bridge this massive gulf between. It's funny because, of course, thinking back then, let's see, they would have been younger than I am now. Yes, my girlfriend was my age, so she was probably 19 or 20, and they would have been 25 when they had her, 45, even if they were 35, 55. Yeah, I'm older than they are now. And so one of the things that I look for with kids is can they have a conversation with an adult? And...
[10:27] What that means to me, if they can, what that means to me is that their parents have had conversations with them and haven't created this massive artificial gap between adults and children.
[10:39] I mean, we're not a different species, for heaven's sakes. It's just a matter of time until the child becomes an adult. And I remember when Izzy was little, I took great pains. I showed her some pictures of myself when I was younger and said, you know, like I was a kid and this is It's just a process. We're not totally different. I'm not some big magical adults and all of that. And, you know, some different species or anything like that. I'm not some demigod or whatever it is. So I really wanted her to understand that there was not some big, weird, magical gulf between myself and her.
[11:13] Because, you know, when you're a kid, your parents seem like demigods, right? I mean, they're big, tall, strong, powerful, incomprehensible, vastly superior in skill and language and size and strength and all of that. That and i was just like no i was just i was like you are and and you grow you grow to you know won't be quite as tall probably but you know you'll grow to be tall and knowledgeable and it's just a matter of time right so because i really i don't like this massive gap or division between adulthood and their childhood i think it's it's a power play right it's all i always go back to there was uh oh my gosh johnny fever on the old wkrp had a daughter and her daughter had a boyfriend who was kind of hippy dippy right justin was his name justin anyway so johnny fever is trying to tell justin something and it's like power trip man he's like justin howard hesseman played oh we uh we are here to get down into this famous switch from you're having my baby right now to some rock and roll like we are now he took the whole record and scratched and They've been from easy listening to rock and roll. That's a great show. A great show. And power trip, man. Power trip. Well, that's a lot of adults, right? We are better. Politicians do this too. Priests do it too. Teachers do it. We are superior. We are a different species.
[12:34] Basically, your little shits need to get your lives in order. If you watch the movie Blackberry, which maybe I'll talk about in the show tonight. Watch the movie Blackberry. That's this big, rotund sociopath who comes in to scream at the... Engineers and try to get them to act like adults, which, you know, kills a lot of the creativity of the company and so on, right? So, yeah, that's sort of the major thing that I look for with kids. And I hope that this helps. Answer la question at freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. I really, really, really would appreciate it. Have yourself a wonderful, wonderful afternoon. I'll talk to you in a couple hours. Bye.
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