0:00 - Introduction
6:40 - Family Relationships and Personal Anxiety
9:10 - Changing Views on Immigration
12:22 - Outsourcing High-Skill Jobs
13:15 - The Consequences of Past Actions
22:24 - The Importance of Honest Communication
23:46 - Staying Connected with Family
24:51 - Hollowing Out Your Own Identity
26:12 - Understanding Intimacy in Relationships
27:34 - Exploring Sexual Passion
28:38 - Attitude Towards Sex
29:32 - Addressing Past Trauma
30:41 - Managing Sexual Urges
31:56 - Unleashing Foreplay Tips
35:18 - Marital Loyalty and Power Dynamics
37:06 - Overcoming Video Game Addiction
39:24 - Impact of Past Trauma on Sexuality
40:43 - Attraction Beyond Physicality
43:01 - Reflecting on Past Relationships
47:47 - Job Hopping and Entrepreneurship
50:01 - Consequences of Obesity
54:35 - Embracing Running as Peak Performance
55:49 - Nostalgia for Classic Arcade Games
During this podcast episode, we engaged in a wide-ranging conversation touching upon personal stories, societal issues, and philosophical topics. Listeners shared experiences of family dynamics, challenges in communication, and personal growth struggles. We delved into societal issues like the UK riots, discussing underlying causes and implications for future generations. Immigration policies and welfare systems were scrutinized, highlighting the intricate web of societal dynamics they create.
Advice was offered on coping with divorce and relationship hurdles, stressing the importance of communication and prioritizing personal well-being. The conversation shifted towards deeper philosophical themes such as conflict throughout history, individual responsibility, and the impact on personal and societal outcomes. The host shared insights on trauma, relationships, and personal growth, fostering thought-provoking discussions based on their own experiences.
Sexuality emerged as a prominent theme, exploring its role as a motivator for men and its significance in relationships. The importance of honest communication around sex drive compatibility and fulfilling each other's needs in a marriage was underscored. Emotions' impact on libido, the dynamics of desire between partners, and the necessity of open communication in maintaining a healthy sexual relationship were also discussed. The complexities of gender dynamics, power imbalances, and infidelity in relationships were explored, shedding light on the nuances of intimate connections.
The episode expanded to cover addiction, trauma, and relationship dynamics, delving into themes like women withholding sex, video game addiction, and the impact of past trauma on sexuality. Valuing virtues over transient factors for sustaining attraction, the significance of self-awareness, and honest communication in personal growth and relationships were highlighted. Listeners shared their experiences with gaming, fitness, and personal relationships, fostering a community of diverse perspectives and shared journeys. The host encouraged ongoing dialogue, support for personal development, and the importance of community engagement for societal progress.
[0:00] All right, we are donor-only on this 4th of August, 2024. I appreciate that. And if you want to keep stuff shielded from the gen-pop, tips are, of course, also welcome if you're listening to this later. Freedomed.com. To help out the show, don't forget peacefulparenting.com. Please do share peacefulparenting.com. So now we're donor-only. Somebody John says, I went to England and visited my dad for about a month. I felt like I was 16 again just walking about his flat. that. I had some in-depth talks with him about his teaching career, which led nicely into bullying theory, such as bond between parents and children. I was dropping tidbits like that, but he didn't seem to connect the dots. With his crap parenting, he decided to label me as disrespectful. I said, I don't need to do that. I just need to honor him, which is different. I don't get that last bit, but I'm sorry that you didn't have a better conversation with your father. Somebody says, that's actually when my real introspection and self-work sort of began, Yeah, and when Stef abandoned politics and focused on philosophy, I no longer had the escape of that vicarious distraction. Politics! And could no longer avoid the real work. Oh, I'm glad to hear about that. The after hours, that's right. He did say I was brave for bringing it up. I felt relieved but sad over the apparent loss of the relationship. Yeah.
[1:24] So, let's see here. People, when they get older, they can't admit fault. If they've not developed the habit of admitting fault, certainly, I'm trying to think when I've seen the real drop-off, mid to late 40s if you don't have kids, 30s if you do have kids, but when the wrongs that have been enacted because of a lack of conscience, If you then try to awaken the conscience, people feel it as a death threat almost, and they just will fight to the death to maintain their perspective. So do not, in general, don't assume that people who don't have the habit of change have a lifelong capacity to develop that habit.
[2:12] So there's a lot of people, all they do is minimize discomfort and maximize self-justification. and they're just, this is the NPC machines, right? They're just, whatever you say, well, I did the best I could. Well, you were difficult. Well, your teachers didn't tell me. Well, you didn't tell me. Well, all they have is just blocking and deflecting and it's just ninja moves to avoid any Velcro or burrs of responsibility from sticking to their hide. So, I mean, that's all they do. And you can't fix that. You can't fix that. People either embrace truth or they avoid responsibility. That's it. it. The UK riots are just going to get a bunch of people arrested and nothing will change. Well, I mean, they'll escalate their monitoring of the far right and all of that sort of stuff, right? So white males are not particularly friendly to totalitarianism. Statistically, I did this, the truth about free speech many years ago. And, you know, we tend to like free speech. We tend to like the free markets. We tend to, and England is a notoriously individualistic society, at least it was. So, I mean, yeah, the purpose is to escalate conflict so you can crack back down and take away people's rights, right? All right.
[3:22] Somebody says, Stef, I'm the guy from a couple of shows ago who asked about his son being hit on by a girl. Thank you so much again. Oh yeah, I remember him. And you. It was so very cool to come back to son and tell him, remember our talk while I asked a philosopher about your issue? And he says he was really interested in your answer as well. Much love and please keep up the great work. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Lovely to hear. Lovely to hear.
[3:47] Confronted. Bless you, Stef. Thank you very much. Thanks for the training, Stef. That allow me to see dad for who he is yeah it's very sad when you realize that you're not dealing right there's this famous meme which says when you're arguing with a leftist or a boomer you're actually asking you're arguing with the television and the television can't hear you and doesn't care and this is true this is analogy i used 15 years ago when talking with determinists right determinists would say everything is predetermined and i said well why don't you argue with the television instead of a person you have to say that there's something fundamentally different between the television and a person if you'd consider it crazy to argue with the television, but sane to argue with a person you have to say that there's something quantitatively and qualitatively different from a person and a television set because if you argue with the television set you're crazy but you consider it sane to argue with a person although you say that a person is just a more complicated television set which says well i wouldn't argue with a, vacuum tube tv set but a plasma tv set is much more complex i'm totally willing to argue with that it's like there's no input it's just predetermined physics moving things around out, right? Physics, matter and energy moving around based upon predetermined paths of causality. And so the arguing with the TV, I mean, probably just coincidence, but that's something I came up with like 15 years ago.
[5:01] Confronted an abusive mother at a supermarket today, and her mind was as closed as it gets. She told me, do not get involved and leave her alone. Was very angry and said in her ways, no capacity to reason. Of course, she then happened to be a teacher.
[5:14] Somebody says, I don't know if the riots are going to do anything. I can tell you, I'm so sad and angry. I've never been this angry. It's been going on for days, and everyone in power is just telling us, we're far right, I'm just so angry. I really understand that, and I sympathize with that. I really do. I mean, I don't want to make this about me. I mean, of course, I predicted all of this stuff, you know, 10, 12 years ago, and, you know, it is playing out the way that is entirely expected, and I'm very sad. I mean, it's very sad. I'm half and half. So the UK, of course, you know, it's where I grew up, and I have a lot of allegiance and loyalty and love the country in many ways, but it also was the place that abused me and let me be abused and beat me in school and all that kind of stuff. So I'm like, eh, eh. I mean, the bill is coming due for all the free stuff, right? This is happening throughout the West, right? We've got a bunch of free stuff for a couple of generations. Now the bill is coming due. It always does. Well, I went to donate and it's completely failing and Locals has given me a prompt to reload the page. Yeah, if you could donate to freedomain.com slash donate, I would appreciate that. There's much less overhead. ahead all right i should probably call in but i can't help but feel nervous about leaving the 200 000 salary job world to start my own consulting business any suggestions to ease the anxiety, i'm not sure you should ease the anxiety why should you ease the anxiety.
[6:40] I mean anxiety is going to make you concentrate and work better and so on so i'm not sure that you should ease the anxiety.
[6:57] Oh, you have the same relationship with France, yeah. Yeah, I mean, people want free stuff, and then they get, I mean, immigration, mass immigration is driven by a lot of free stuff, right? It's a lot of free stuff. And people want free stuff, and I guess they thought that free stuff was only going to ever benefit them. Is that right? Free stuff was only ever going to benefit them. And I don't really think that's how free stuff works. So free stuff, I mean, you think about the devil, right? The devil gives you free stuff, right? Free talents and abilities and fame and fortune and money and looks. So the devil gives you a bunch of free stuff, but that free stuff ends up benefiting the devil, right?
[7:46] So everybody wanted the free stuff from the government and never thought that maybe it would be used against them in the long run. But it was completely predictable that this would happen, right? The debt is not free well but the debt is not paid by the people who are receiving it, of course nothing is free I get that, I mean you understand I just made the argument nothing is free so saying that the debt is not free is not adding much to the conversation at this level, you know I mean honestly don't go to an advanced physics class and remind people that there is such a thing as matter and energy thank you michael appreciate that you got to work a little harder to provide value at this level so of course remember that you know somewhere between 30 and 50 percent of people don't have any inner dialogue they don't have any inner voices they don't argue with themselves they don't have much capacity to compare proposed actions to ideal standards so So it's really, it's really tough. And, you know, but they probably could have learned it if it had been well trained in them as children, but it's not that way. So.
[9:10] I listened to a call-in from 2011 last night where you said welfare wasn't driving immigration. What led you to change your mind since then? Well, like most reasons I changed my mind, the data changed. So back in the day, immigration was high-skilled and you couldn't get welfare. So welfare wasn't driving immigration. Now the borders are generally open and people can get massive amounts of welfare by coming over illegally. So it wasn't and now it is. This is difficult to fathom. Almost assumed everyone had an inner monologue. Yeah, for sure. for sure.
[9:51] Well, and of course, most of history is violent conflict, right? There's sort of the last, uh, I don't know, 60, 70 years has been, um, has been a real aberration 19th century in Western Europe and last 50 or 60 years in Western Europe and North America, uh, is, is very much a blip and is very much an outlier in most of human history. Most of human history is just brutal tribal conflict. Hi, Stef. What advice do you have for someone getting divorced who has a child? My soon-to-be ex-wife has already filed and served me the papers. Gosh. I mean, I know it's a big question, but... What happened? What happened? Did we have a call-in? I don't remember the name. Did you ever do a call-in with me? I mean, how long has your marriage been on the rocks?
[10:52] Companies now outsourcing high-skill jobs to third-world countries, some examples being outsourcing the programming to India. Oh, you did have a call-in. When was that? I mean so for instance the uh just outsourcing stuff ai is pretty much i think is going to take over the call center industry which is like a 300 billion dollar a year industry and that's going to be pretty wild so then you can get a call in even in your own you could you could call into a help center uh through through ai it's going to chat with you some people may not even know that it's AI. And what's going to happen is it's going to be in your own regional accent. It's going to know your history. It's going to know who you are when you're calling. It's going to know the products that you have. It's going to be pretty wild. A huge amount of time saving. February or March of this year. And it didn't work out, right? Can you tell me the, what's the show number? If it was published? I think it was published. What was that? Do you remember the show number? I just want to refresh myself.
[12:22] Yeah, I mean, the programming stuff is, I think it's Pennywise Pound Foolish. Oh, it's a sexless marriage? Yeah, look it up. Okay, thanks. Well, I'm sorry, obviously, that things didn't work out. Did you guys try couples counseling or anything like that? I'm just curious what steps were taken before things went, well, I guess the opposite of tits up, right? Tits away? way. Oh, show number is 5-4-3-7. All right. Thank you. Okay. I'm just going to see.
[13:09] Okay. Married 17 years. All right.
[13:16] I'm certainly sorry to hear about that so, was there a particular moment that ended the marriage or did it just kind of decay as a whole, all right somebody says um what i should have said was that the debt by older generations was not thought about an interesting quote from the bible goes the teeth of children are set on edge by the grapes that the parents eat. That's interesting. Oh, you tried couples counseling? Okay. And, sorry, let me just go back here and remind me... How old... How old's your daughter? Son? How old's your child? I don't think that's in the... Let me just check here. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum...
[14:17] So, yeah, I mean, a sexless marriage is not an inconsiderable reason for divorce, right? So, if a woman has dedicated herself to raising the children, and then the man does not provide an income, then the woman's life becomes untenable, because she's relying on the man to provide an income. She's taking care of the child or the children, and he's not providing an income. So, she either has to have him provide an income. Now, if he says, well, I'm just kind of depressed and I don't feel like working and this, that, like at some point he has to provide an income, right? And, you know, certainly depressed means you're going to have a tough time working and you're going to have to really work hard to deal with that depression and all kinds of wild stuff, right? So I sympathize with all of that. but if a woman is not like if it's a monogamous relationship which I assume it was if I remember rightly and if the woman is not if there's no sexual activity from the woman if the woman is not providing sexuality to the man and again you know obviously she could be depressed there could be medical issues childbirth and so on so we obviously have endless amounts of patience with all of that. But if the woman simply is not providing sexual activity to the male.
[15:34] And is not working as hard as she can to figure out what's going on, then she's ended the marriage. I mean, in the same way that a man who says to his wife, stay home, and then doesn't provide any income, well, he's ended the marriage. His marriage is nothing more more or less than a series of solemn vows and contracts with each other. And.
[15:58] So the marriage is over when the pursuit of sexual activity stops, right? And the marriage is over if the man says to the woman, I'll provide you take care of the kids, and then he doesn't provide, the marriage is over. Because that's what the marriage is about. It's a series of vows to each other. The marriage is also over, there are a lot of health factors on her side due to a childhood trauma, in my opinion. Well but i assume that there was a time when the marriage was not sexless or i know that you guys were christians so there was a time when there was more sex in the marriage so how can the trauma be worse the further she is away from the childhood trauma right and if she's got the childhood trauma then she needs to work with a competent therapist and deal with that trauma and and so on right like if i say well i have too much like honey you need to stay home and and i'm going to be providing the income and then you say well i have too much childhood trauma to work well then the woman needs to get a job or you need to deal with your trauma but having your wife stay home and not work for money while you say you're going to provide and then not providing is not tenable it's not not a solution right and if she'd said to you um not i'm not going to have sex with you because of my childhood trauma then you wouldn't have stayed married for so long and you wouldn't have had a kid with her, right?
[17:20] So the health factors, if it's due to childhood trauma, well, then she should work as hard as humanly possible to deal with her childhood trauma because a man cannot go through life with no sex life. I mean, if he's married, right? That's not a reasonable thing. That's not a reasonable thing.
[17:45] I mean, sex is a major motivator for men. Now, of course, women love sex too, and there's nothing wrong with any of that. But for men, I mean, I don't have to tell the bros here. Sex gets us half out of bed in the morning, right? I don't think she could ever get over the childhood trauma without defooing, which I know she's unwilling to do. Yeah, that's really sad. I'm really, really sorry about that. What happens if the woman has a low sex drive? Well, then she needs to marry a guy with a low sex drive. Right? Because the woman should be honest, right? And if there's a guy she's interested in and she has a low sex drive, which she would know, then she would say to the guy, I have a low sex drive. Right? But if she says, oh, I love sex and blah, blah, blah, and she has a low sex drive, that's a fraud. Right? That's fraudulent. Right? That's like a man saying, I'm a doctor, let's get married. and then they get married and he's not a doctor, well, that would invalidate the relationship, right? That would be a reason to annul the marriage, right? So if the woman has a low sex drive and then she tells the man and maybe the man's okay with it and all of that, so...
[18:58] But, yeah, it's a funny thing how a man working is not negotiable, but a woman having sex is somehow a reasonable, like an option that isn't just like, well, no, that's terrible. Or, of course, if she says that I'm not going to have sex with you, then she's opening up the marriage, right?
[19:21] Right? Then she's opening up the marriage. Because the man has to have sex. Right? And if he's in a monogamous relationship and he's shut out from a sexual life, it's just, it's distortionary to his entire way of life and way of being because sexuality, for men and for women, is what drives life as a whole. I mean, that's why there are people. That's why we have civilization. It's all based upon the sex drive, right? If we didn't have a sex drive, there wouldn't be people, right? Right. So, yeah, I don't, uh, it's funny how it's like, oh, I'm in a sexless marriage. It's like, then you're in an open marriage because you have to get a mistress. I would assume. Right. I'm not saying that's a great idea, but the idea that like, if the man is not providing income and the woman needs income, then she gets a man to pay her. Right. So she goes to, usually for a man could be a woman right no i'm not talking sex work she goes to a man and and gets a job and then the man pays her in return for work so she then gets her income from outside of the marriage and because he's not providing income and so if the woman is not providing a sexual.
[20:35] Activity then the man will get his sexual activity from outside of the relationship Relationship. Again, not ideal, because that means there's a mistress who's not becoming someone else's wife. But yeah, it happens in Japan a lot. It's very common in France. It's just like, if you don't have sex, that's fine. I mean, if there's no food at home, I'll eat out. I get it. Very subtle, right? Yeah, so people who choose their family of origin over their husband, it's just incomprehensible to me. I honestly can't fathom that. Why would you choose past abusers over people in the present who love you? That's just about as tragic a situation as could be imagined. I don't know why people would choose that. like why would I choose to hang out with my mom rather than be with my wife you know my wife has treated me magnificently for close on a quarter century and she's just wonderful in every conceivable way and why would I hang out with abusers rather than someone who loves me it's just very strange to me, all right so let's see here.
[21:55] Depression I think is often caused by things that need to be changed that you're too frightened or too lazy or whatever to change alright let's see here.
[22:24] Well and of course the woman can say well i don't want to have i don't feel like having sex and that's fine i mean i never ever ever force anyone to do or compel or or bully or whatever anyone to do anything they don't want to uh that's fine if the i mean if the woman doesn't want to have sex and then that's a reason to not have sex rather than say well i don't really feel like it but let's get into it and let's see how how it goes right um which you know often can happen right and end up being a positive experience, then it's like, okay, so then that's fine. But then the man has the same rule. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't feel like doing in the moment. If he doesn't feel like going out and mowing the lawn, he doesn't have to. I don't really feel like it. If he doesn't feel like visiting her parents or having guests over or going out or I just don't feel like it, then that's fine. If he doesn't feel like going to work, he doesn't have to go to work. So if he just doesn't feel like it, then that's fine, right?
[23:31] And, you know, like, it's funny because, you know, there are some times I don't feel, I really don't feel like working out. And for whatever reason, I'll just go down and start doing it. And then it's fine. You know, I mean, there's lots of that kind of stuff in life, right?
[23:46] But you just have to have an honest conversation. if there's a block in your sex life you need to have an honest conversation about what's happening and why and how to solve it but it has to be solved it can't just be well i'm just not going to have sex with you it's like but but we're in a monogamous sexual relationship, my daughter is planning on living with my ex about two hours away what advice do you have regarding staying connected with her i currently video call once a day, i'm not sure how this is a more pragmatic thing i'm not sure what philosophical question you're asking and i'm sorry if i'm missing something obvious.
[24:31] Depression i think also happens when you hollow out your own existence like the people pleaser a bit although i'm not putting pauline in that category immensely but when you hollow out your your own identity or self, in order to appease others, then you end up empty inside and you're just reacting and you're not really acting of your own volition, choice, will, and morality.
[24:52] You're just like water being poured into the containers of other people's needs, right?
[25:03] Uh, let's see here.
[25:11] Perhaps the low sex drive is more of an indicator of a larger hidden unvisited issue. Sure, I mean, low sex drive, we wouldn't survive it as a species with a low sex drive, right? So it is definitely a deviation from the norm. And again, there's, you know, it's a bell curve and all of that, so there's going to be deviations all over the place. Nature can't aim at both randomness and not end up with a bell curve right it's always going to be a scattershot right so uh it could be that a low sex drive is uh associated maybe there's a hormonal issue maybe there's a health issue maybe there's a weight issue maybe there's a dietary issue maybe she's sleeping badly make it any number of the sleep apnea could be any number of things right or maybe uh you've gotten fat and pear-shaped or whatever right so yeah or maybe Maybe there's psychological issues or whatever, but it definitely, I would assume that it would be, I would approach it, it's not any kind of medical advice, but I would approach it just as like, okay, well, if my sex drive is gone, then something's really changed. That's not right. All right.
[26:13] What does it mean when your wife is a starfish in bed? Can't hear you, peach. When your wife is a starfish in bed, I assume that means that it's like dead-eyed missionary, no lie back and think of England stuff. Why would you get married? Why would you get married if she's not into it and enjoying it?
[26:38] Okay, this is a critical one. That's interesting. Crazy to see the absolute willful and entitled men feel for using someone else's body as their masturbatory tool. I mean, that's pretty harsh and cold, right? That's pretty harsh and cold. Do you have the same criticisms of women who use men for income? I don't just mean in marriage, of course, but in terms of simping, in terms of some sex work, in terms of women who go out for dinner with men with no intention of having any kind of romantic relationship, but let the man pay anyway. Are you that? Women who take welfare, women who take government jobs at the expense of productive men. It's interesting. I mean, you can get into that, right? Stef, some people don't have sex until they're married. So what are you talking about?
[27:35] So if your wife is a starfish in bed the question is why would you marry somebody who is uh inert sexually i mean that would be an odd thing to do right you say ah but we didn't have sex before marriage so i mean you know that there's hugging there's kissing uh french kissing there's all kinds of wonderful sexy stuff you can do without crossing any sexual line before marriage right so why why it's not the actual sex does she have a passion for life is she passionate for you Is she easily excitable in a general sense? Does she have enthusiasm for things as a whole? Does she love kissing you? Does she, you know, yearn for you, burn for you? All of these kinds of things, right? I burn for you. You're dancing. Yeah, all kinds of wonderful things, right? I mean, you know when a woman yearns and burns for you. You feel that. It's like a sun lamp in the face, right?
[28:39] The attitude to sex being the same as Al Bundy to Peg Bundy as a horrible duty that must be done is not a good thing. Yeah, there was also Mr. Roper, was it Mr. Roper? Or something like that in the old Three's Company. That his wife wanted sex and he didn't, right? Unfortunately, the passion didn't translate to the sexual realm. I always had to do all the work. Sorry, she didn't enjoy kissing you. She was not passionate about kissing you. And, of course, I would assume, since you don't have sex before marriage, that you would inquire as to any sexual trauma she may have had in the past, right? Did anyone touch you inappropriately? Did you have any sexual trauma? Were you molested or anything creepy or unusual? Like, you'd have those conversations, right?
[29:32] So, if you didn't have the inquiry as to any sexual trauma she had experienced in the past, because remember, it's one out of three girls, one out of five boys, like one out of three girls has had sexual trauma in childhood. We were not inert sexually before marriage. We had all the hormones and feelings, did the kissing, etc. We did not have sex until we were married. And then it was then that we discovered the physical problems. But again, she had a highly dysfunctional family that she was truly embedded into. I don't know if she had sexual trauma as a child, but if you didn't have that conversation that's kind of on you and her and of course if you um if she lied about it uh that's terrible right that's terrible.
[30:41] Uh let's see here, What should men do with their urges then when you live with a woman you really want to be with her all the time? And this woman says, just effing whack off, nobody needs sex to live normally. You have survived without it many years as a single man. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true. Yeah, absolutely. And the woman has lived without the man's income for many years as a single woman, so she should only contribute her own, and she has lived without a man doing any chores around the house, so she can live without that. And right so if you're saying well be be the same as if you were single then you're not married right so you should deal with your sexual urges the same way you did when you were single means that you're not married and that's fine of course right i mean women should never be pressured into sex or anything like that but it's like what's good for the goose and what's good what's good for the goose is good for the gander right.
[31:57] Tips on foreplay this is the unleashed part of the live stream it is the unleashed part of the live stream so uh sexuality in a marriage or a relationship is not just a one-time thing it's got to be kept on a low burn throughout the day you know if you're not kissing your wife randomly if you're not uh you know hugging her from behind if you're not uh making some raunchy jokes over the course of the day in you know when your kids aren't around or whatever right if you're not keeping that on a low cooker burn then you're not doing a job as a husband that the relationship needs to be kept sexy if you're not exercising if you're not eating well if you're not maintaining your weight if you're not you know practicing every kind of good hygiene known to man and keeping the sexy stuff going over the course of the day letting your wife know how much you love and desire her and want her and think she's the sexiest person alive which is certainly my opinion with regards to my wife uh i don't know what you're doing then you're not uh you're not you're not doing the right thing and uh women um women get of course a massive amount of sexual excitement from kissing for men it's sort of a doorway you go through to get to the food but for women it's half the food so now that says well to great soulful kisses and all of that kind of stuff is just great so.
[33:20] So, yeah, sex is a need for men, for sure, yeah. Do these women not want their men to be happy? Why is it such a big deal? I really don't get it. It's hard for men to understand, because if someone, in a sense, paid men to have sex, they'd be pretty happy, right? Right. So it is like I have to go to to work for 10 hours. Your job, in a sense, is to have sex. For men, it's kind of incomprehensible that that would be a bad deal. So the hawk to a girl, I should look up her DNA test. It was really quite something. As far as sexual trauma goes, my ex just informed me about how when she was 16, one of her parents pulled her pants down to spank her bare bottom. him. She told me about this about three months ago when I pressed her regarding childhood trauma. Hmm. I'm in the same situation as this guy except my wife didn't have any, the bad family slash history. We don't really have sex. Hmm.
[34:38] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Yeah, because a lot of women have been trained that, oh, don't you want to make men happy? Oh, that's serving the patriarchy, that's being a slave, like gore, G-O-R. I read one of those gore books, which are apparently quite popular among women, one of those gore books about sexual slavery when I was in my teens.
[35:19] All right any other thoughts questions comments challenges, they'll jump to make their boss happy for sure yeah for sure i mean that's another form of cheating that if if you're a woman and you want to make your boss happy but not your husband um you're in a functional you're in a marital relationship with your boss and you're just to have a roommate at home.
[35:50] It's tough. You know, for women to work in particular, for women to work in particular is having loyalty often to another man outside the marriage and women gravitate towards higher power, right? Grim words, this is the monkey branching, right? Or hypergamy, like women want to date and marry up. So a woman who spends a lot of time around her boss, who has higher power and authority than she does, and then has a super egalitarian marriage, is going to start often to develop sexual feelings towards her boss. I do wonder if the women don't want to have sex because of trauma, but then I'm convinced lots of women do want a bottle feed to make their husbands wake up at night. No idea why, though. Yeah, I pity the man whose wife has a Chad boss. Yeah, that's really tough, because she comes home from obeying a high-status, high-power man to a super egalitarian husband, and it's like going from Fifty Shades of Grey to a sibling, semi-sibling situation, and it's pretty tough, right?
[37:06] Thank you for watching. all right let's see any other i think i think a lot of um a lot of women withhold sex because they're angry they're angry they're trying to get their way they let their resentment grow i have this great line in my book the god of atheists you should definitely get it's a great book freedomand.com books it's free um about a woman uh she had been collecting grievances in her marriage, like a moose collects burrs of the woods and at this point in the marriage she was far more burr than moose i just love that line he shouts the husband shouts uh um an insult in his wife if you could get a single feeling of that over tanned raisin you call a heart, it's so good all right um, i've had a video game addiction slash habit since i was a kid i've taken several successful successful steps to fight it, but I can't quite kick this addiction to where it's reasonable. Every live stream I'm playing a game. Do you have any advice, Stef?
[38:12] Well, I mean, you can't figure out the addiction until you figure out the hole that it's filling, right? Right? I mean, if you have a tapeworm and you eat a whole bunch of food and you're still losing weight, you can't figure out what's going on without seeing the tapeworm, right? So what is the addiction filling up, right? What does it avoid? What happens if you don't do the addiction, right? So if you don't do the addiction, you probably feel like your life is empty of challenge, purpose, success, and victory, right? Because what do video games give you? They give you challenge, purpose, and victory. Success, right? You have a challenge that's set up for you. It's like school, right? School, they give you these challenges and you succeed or fail. I guess it's more enjoyable than school. But video games set you up a situation where they deliver the dopamine of success and victory without actually giving you anything that's It's tangible, right? Assuming that you're not some video game player who plays for money.
[39:11] So you have to figure out what real challenges and excitement is missing in your life. I mean, I can't imagine anybody who's currently in the process of climbing a mountain thinking that I wish I had candy crush with me.
[39:24] Hey, Stef, why do you think some women who have deep sexual trauma in their past become hypersexual while others become essentially asexual? I don't know. It could be something genetic or hormonal. I would assume that if the woman who was molested as a child had absolutely no control over it, she might then tip over to hypersexuality, and if she had some control of it, she might become asexual.
[39:53] When women meet their husbands while on birth control but stop after marriage, their hormones change and they can lose attraction to their husbands. Well, sure, but only if you're talking about biochemical attraction, which is important, the chemistry stuff, but what's more important is that you respect your partner for their virtues, right? Because the virtues grow. Like, you have to hook your attraction in to something that's going to grow and not diminish, right? Otherwise, your marriage is going to fail, right? So if you just date the woman because she's hot, well, the hotness goes away. Sorry, fact. My wife looks fantastic, but she's still in her 50s. So she doesn't look as good as when we met. Spoiler, neither do I. So if you're going to hook your attraction into physical attraction, that's going to go away. If you're going to hook your attraction into money, well, money varies and fluctuates. And money also diminishes.
[40:43] It's marginal value. value right um so you know if if you are starving and you get uh 50 bucks that's a huge difference if you're a millionaire and you get another 50 bucks that's not much difference right so money diminishes in value the more you get but virtue increases and so this is why i say love is our involuntary response of virtue for virtuous because we hopefully grow in virtue over life and there's no particular limit as to how virtuous we can become so yeah that's uh it was an elk yeah Yeah, elk, yeah.
[41:17] So if it's just hormones and all of that, well, yeah, then you change. But if you're attracted to your husband for his virtue or her virtue, then, I'm sorry, if you're attracted to your husband and wife for his virtue or her virtue, that's only going to increase. So.
[41:41] What if birth rates were partially related to women hanging around powerful bosses if they are concubines without the sex? Yeah, it could be. Certainly there's a lot of things that add to it, right? The god of atheists. So good! That's true. It's not doing some of the things you do in the game, but in real life. Archery, shooting, etc.
[42:02] I listened before to you in taking accountability in past relationships. Since then, when asked about my last relationships, I state what I did wrong and how I approach it differently. If too early in dating, this is a turn-off for the woman, it seems. When in the dating process, is this an appropriate conversation so I don't block myself, but still be truthful? This is a turn-off for the woman, it seems. I don't get into details about past relationships unless they're directly relevant. Yeah i had a relationship yeah things were good some things were great some things were good it just wasn't quite the right thing for me for my whole life and just leave it there now if you ask questions you can say a little bit more but yeah don't don't in a relationship don't, don't talk about past relationships.
[43:02] All right, let me see here. What do I get here? Yeah, video games are definitely crafted. They actually hire psychologists to make sure they're as addictive as possible. All right. Perhaps the only good thing about more women in the workplace when it comes to their husbands. Oh yeah, that they're working for some boss babe, right? it all right any other last questions comments any other last tips for the, deep raunch of the philosophy philosophical conversation but yeah you want to keep your sexuality in your relationship marriage or girlfriend you want to keep it on a low burn that's great keep it on low burn back burner at all times, A man's desire is to a large degree initiatory, a woman's desire is somewhat responsive, which means that the man initiates the desire, the woman responds.
[44:08] I'll share my experiences with video games. I played simulation and RPG games and I realized I was yearning for growing and raising something, that's when I decided to have kids. Oh yeah, Yeah, like dragon veil and all these things where you grow these dragons and breed them. I mean, that's just parental substitutes, right? James said, I wanted to weigh in on depression and anxiety. I can attest to the avoidance slash failure to deal with anxiety resulting in a pervasive depression that just colors everything in your life. Yeah, for sure.
[44:42] I don't need a whole lot of money. Honey, I don't need a big, fine car. Yeah, some woman I barely knew wanted to know about my past relationships. I told her it wasn't a good fit and left it at that, yeah. Not sure if helpful for others, but I totaled up the hours I spent gaming based on some easy math over the years and was horrified, wasted time, kicked the habit, all moderation. Yeah, for sure. What do you think about a 32-year-old woman with no past relationships? Could definitely be a red flag. Could definitely be a red flag I mean Lust is a beautiful powerful jetpack of life and somebody who can get to 32, without at least banging a couple of people like Animal the drummer on cocaine I don't know I don't know.
[45:41] Oh, alphabet agencies have a lot of input in games now. They're a huge factor for propaganda. Yeah, that's true, for sure. Subtle hint to donate more, please. It's not just girls, but philosophers too, who want to have lunch. That is true. Nothing longer than four months? Yeah, it's not ideal. Because at some point, if you're new to the workplace, they don't expect you to have a resume. may. But if you're applying for a job at 32, and you say, I've never had a job longer than a couple of months, and I've only had a couple of those, I would never hire someone like that. And personally, I just wouldn't hire someone like that, because there's just too much that they have to learn, and too much that they haven't learned for that to work out. It's just not good. Not good at all. All right, any other last questions and comments? Let's see here. My recent game addiction is a farming sim stardew valley building a farm family community knowing that and what i enjoy and other games i started doing these things in real life, yes good yeah for sure for sure i mean i fight demons uh every time a doom comes out i'll play it uh there's one out every five years or whatever right.
[47:03] Well and of course video games are you know what is the obsession is this sort of post-apocalyptic a post-apocalyptic world right and that's preparing you for a kind of war.
[47:21] If you are friends with someone who is obese and they refuse to get fit for over 10 years, is that healthy?
[47:28] Why would you want to be friends with someone whose life is just going to get worse and worse? The life of obese people just gets worse and worse. You know, they're unhappy, often single, miserable, joint pain, back pain, knee pain.
[47:47] They have a tortured relationship with food they have a tortured relationship with their own sexuality they could have erectile dysfunction they could have hormonal stuff it's all out of whack I mean it's just a pretty miserable life, yeah like Fallout I played the F out of Fallout 4 love that game I've never played the Fallout games, what do you think about job hopping seems loyalty doesn't pay in corporate America, well I mean it's nothing wrong Obviously, it's not a violation of the non-aggression principle, but job hopping says that I have trouble evaluating the quality of the places that I work, or I get jobs at places I know I'm going to leave very shortly. So, it's a judgment issue, right? It's a judgment issue. It's like some woman who only has relationships for a couple of months at a time. It means she's either choosing the wrong people or she can't pair bond. So, as that accumulates, that gets worse and worse, right? And job hopping usually means you should be an entrepreneur. Right? If you have, you know, that much flexibility.
[48:52] My friend's ex-army, father of three boys under 10, husband likes Stardew, helps with PTSD. Interesting. Remember the last Starfighter? An alien came to Earth to recruit the winner when an arcade game was clocked. Yeah, I watched that movie when I was in my teens, but I was working in a daycare, so I only watched snatches of the movie because I had 15, no, I had 25 kids under of the age of ten. Basically all he did was shepherd them to the bathroom.
[49:23] Uh i don't get why people choose to be obese being heavy due to pregnancy was really unpleasant i missed my feet yeah it's tough man it's tough i you know choice a lot of people may if their mother was obese during pregnancy they're more likely to be obese there's a lot of trauma obese is a way of getting off the train track of life right it's just a way of jumping the tracks right because the tracks of like you know date and and get engaged get married have kids like for obese Obese people, a lot of times, it's just about jumping off the tracks and staying as a kind of child your whole life, or at least, you know, until it's too late to matter, right?
[50:02] So, obesity. And obesity, of course, I saw this video, I think it was on Twitter, where these women who were obese were walking around Disneyland for the day, and they got these weird rashes and varicose veins and stuff because they're just so unused to movement.
[50:22] And they're all hanging out with each other right so one of the problems is that when you get into obese groups or groups of obese people it's really tough to break out, some games are really easy to play while listening to podcasts it bolts as the experience makes you think you're accomplishing something productive yeah video games can definitely be good i mean they can train hand-eye coordination they can train some people in social skills and so on and trash talking which is a sort of an essential male uh skill so yeah i mean i've i've enjoyed uh from for me because my brain is so constantly active if i'm playing like a really intense first person shooter then i i'm only focused on that and it's sort of a liberation from the constant mouse wheels. I have like 6,000 hamster wheels going on at the time. So it's just a way of getting all the hamsters going in one direction, so to speak, right?
[51:24] It's crazy to see how fat everyone is whenever I'm out in public. Yeah, for sure. I mean, IQ is declining as a whole, right? So lower IQ is associated with shorter time preferences and higher obesity rates. I can understand that about obesity. I was doing volunteer work two weeks ago. The one guy didn't do anything and always asked me to help him. The guy couldn't even bend down to pick up something. Yeah. It's a cycle. Bad knees, bad back, no cardio. Hard to face that down avoidance and try to feel better with food. Yeah.
[51:56] I get on my tractor to listen to podcasts and maintain my 40 acres. I got 40 acres and you got 43. I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key. I enjoy running because it calms my brain. Yeah, go read what, oh gosh, what's his name? Tiger Woods. Go read what Tiger Woods talked about with regards to running. My younger brother was better at Backlash, an Amiga 500 game. Better than me i preferred strategy games though um yeah there was a great game on the old atari, gosh it was the atari 800 i had an atari 800 with 40k of ram my gosh that was a monster what a beast one megahertz i think it was and there was a great strategy game called mule m-u-l-e m.u.l.e. I wish i could find a way to play that again i'm sure there's an emulator that's got it i just have I've never gotten around to getting it going. Plus, you get the joysticks and all of that. But I used to play that. It was a great four-person strategy expansion game that I used to play with friends. That was a lot of fun. There was a game called Ball Blazer 2, which was like, I guess, a really early version of something like Rocket League.
[53:09] Yeah i don't i don't enjoy running i was on cross country team swim team and all that running and and swimming i just can't do for for exercise i'm a bit old for running and um i'll do um a bike machine i just did like half an hour last night on the bike machine um and then my daughter came down and wanted to have a conversation i'm like i think i can i might i think i can oh guys who play shooting games are very good at paintball and laser tag yeah probably true favorite mame game.
[53:35] Yeah multiple arcade machine emulator right um well my wife got me i think a couple of christmases ago she got me an atari 2600 emulator so we hooked that up and played some real old school games which was kind of fun my daughter likes frogger of course right yeah that's what we got right you found a commodore 60 version 64 version of mule ah the famous battle between the atari and the commodore people while atari's still around so yeah mule was a great game that was a really fun game i played ultima 3 as well and there was another game i got this running on an emulator called way out which was a maze game with a rectangle that chased you and stole your map called the recto it was a recto maniac rectal maniac or something like that it was really it's a cute game i remember being trapped with my mother in the room while she was endlessly blathering and stuck in this maze game frozen called way out i'm like yeah yeah running running Running is great because running is like this peak where you're like, there's no way I can do it. And then you get into this groove and you can just run forever.
[54:35] Because, you know, we are the outrunning everything species, right? Human beings, like, we just tired out everything. We just outrun everything, so. Have Izzy play duck hunt? She's not going to play duck hunt, shooting ducks. Not going to happen. What are you, crazy?
[54:51] All right. I think we're done. I think we're done. I really appreciate everyone today. Thank you. If you are listening to this later, freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show, I really would appreciate it. Smidgy of a low donation morning, but that's all right. That's all right. And if you are listening to this, Galaga was a great game. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what did I get running on? I got running some game where you had bombs and shooting, and I used to play that in the arcade. I'll dig up the name and remember that, right? Seen Atari 2600 games on a thumbstick for the mini 2600. 10 bucks a giant tiger. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
[55:32] I will think I haven't completely forgotten about your question about how to stay in touch with your daughter. It's tough. It's tough, man, because the kid's going to want to know why you got divorced or is going to need to understand that at some point and can you say the truth, without your wife going nuclear on you. That's tough, right? That's tough.
[55:50] All right have yourself a wonderful afternoon and evening you lost a lot from up here i appreciate that yeah games with bombs and shooting yeah i know i hear what you're saying i do like galaga getting those two ships was excellent and but my first love was uh with space invaders of course boom boom and i did i was good asteroids guy but not as good as some of my friends who were just weird gonna donate at the main site freedom and i come slash donate thank you everyone have yourself a wonderful wonderful week we will We'll talk to you soon. Don't forget peacefulparenting.com and all the other great stuff available for you as donors. Lots of love. Bye.
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