How, mental health do we help those who do not want help… The addicts, the anti social, ideally we do not create them but what do we do with the ones already broken that do not want help???
Are you banned from twitter, and if so is there a chance you could look at getting unbanned now that Elon owns the place?
What's next for you Stefan Molyneux after the peaceful parenting magnum opus? Any stones unturned?
Why do people prefer echo chambers so much? How can they so viciously defend ideas so fragile that they cannot question their own worldview?
Here’s a few:
Make a general prediction for the country over the course of the next 20-25 years.
how to build mental toughness and resiliency and how to manage stress and worries . How to cope with loss of a loved one, career, and/ or how to navigate life’s ups and downs in a healthy manner.
How to raise masculine strong boys into men while also being a part time dad because discipline and guidance is a challenge with a baby momma terrorist.
If you were single, what kind of woman would you be looking for?
0:00 - Introduction to Mental Health
3:41 - Male and Female Perspectives
9:53 - Resources and Evolution
17:27 - The Addict's Dilemma
22:06 - Society's Role in Helping
25:58 - Managing Stress and Relationships
27:18 - Raising Strong Boys
30:28 - Conclusion and Farewell
The lecture delves into complex dynamics surrounding mental health, addiction, and societal responses to individuals who refuse help. Stefan Molyneux initiates the discussion by acknowledging the significant challenges posed by individuals who exhibit antisocial behavior or substance addiction. He emphasizes the distinction between male and female perspectives in addressing these issues, stressing that understanding this difference is pivotal for effective solutions.
Molyneux elaborates on the evolutionary roots of female altruism, noting that women are biologically predisposed to nurture and protect the vulnerable, particularly in contexts like raising children. He likens a mother's instinctual drive to redistribute resources—ensuring that weaker siblings receive care—to a broader societal inclination to offer support and rehabilitation to those in distress. This nurturing tendency, while inherently compassionate, can lead to conflicts with the male perspective, which recognizes the limitations of resources and the necessity for meritocracy in decision-making.
The male perspective, as Molyneux articulates, is predicated on the recognition that resources are finite and the associated responsibilities for providing must be prioritized, particularly for dependents and family units. He discusses how this perspective has shaped societal structures and policies, arguing that the push for equality of outcome often arises from a female view that may clash with the grounded realities of resource management. Molyneux contrasts the virtues of meritocracy—essential for survival and prosperity—with the risks of coercive redistribution of resources, suggesting that reliance on governmental interventions to support those who refuse help may lead to wider social implications.
Moreover, Molyneux explores the potential futility of attempting to rehabilitate individuals who have already severely compromised their well-being through addiction or antisocial behavior. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing that not every individual who is 'broken' can be repaired, and the resources allocated towards these individuals may lead to detrimental outcomes for those who are responsible, healthy, and seeking assistance. He shares poignant examples from personal experiences and observations, underscoring that the cycle of addiction often entails a loss of agency and responsibility.
As the conversation progresses, Molyneux also touches upon broader societal implications of aiding those in crisis. He warns against the pathologization of altruism when combined with political agendas. The modern context, where public discourse often faces the pressure to assist everyone regardless of individual initiative, raises critical questions about collective responsibility versus individual choice. Molyneux asserts that the constraints imposed by an understanding of limited resources are essential for fostering a sustainable society.
Throughout the lecture, he maintains a focus on the significance of prevention over intervention, advocating for proactive measures that promote healthy development and address the roots of distress before they escalate into crises. This approach aligns with his broader philosophy regarding personal responsibility, societal structure, and the importance of establishing a robust framework for child-rearing and community support.
Molyneux concludes with reflections on how social dynamics, prevalent ideologies, and individual choices coexist, urging listeners to cultivate environments enriched by truth, reason, and love. He emphasizes maintaining realistic expectations about life and relationships while advocating for resilience in the face of societal challenges. By understanding the complexities of human behavior and the interplay of altruism and meritocracy, Molyneux proposes a more nuanced approach to grappling with the crises of addiction and mental health.
[0:00] Good morning, everybody. Hope you're doing well. Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain. Getting my morning sun, my little brain work constitutional. So let's get straight to questions for freedomain.locals.com. Hope you will help support the show at freedomain.com. All right, mental health. How do we help those who do not want help? The addicts, the antisocial. Ideally, we do not create them, but what do we do with the ones already broken that do not want help? So there is a male and female perspective on helping others which is really really important really really important to understand it's obviously it's overlapping circles so it's not all men and all women but in general there's a male and female perspective, to helping others now for women uh helping everyone is essential remember women evolved that's not to say that all women are obviously right.
[1:06] But women evolved for the raising, the having and raising of children, right? The having and raising of children. Now, when a woman looks at her own children, she, I mean, this is Sophie's choice horror, right? She does not say, I'm going to let nature take its course, and I'm going to see which one is the strongest and the biggest and the best to get the food, to get the resources and all this kind of stuff, right? That's not what she does. What she does in order for her children to survive, is she uses force to take from the more successful and the stronger and the taller and the bigger and the more aggressive. She uses force to take resources from the bigger children and give those resources to the smaller children. That's perfectly healthy. That's exactly how it should be. As a younger sibling myself, I approve of this procedure.
[2:14] So women force distribute resources from older children to younger children. So the older child has the toy. After a certain amount of time, the older child has to let the younger child get the toy, even though the younger child is too small and weak to get the toy. So if you were to let the children use size, strength, power to get food, then the older children would get all the food and the younger children would not get the food and therefore the younger children would get weak and be more susceptible to infection and so on, right? So there's a forced redistribution from the strongest to the weakest is exactly right and appropriate and healthy and good and the reason for our survival when it comes to our evolution with regards to women and children.
[3:03] For men, on the other hand, we recognize that resources are limited, right? It's interesting that there are almost no famous female economists, right? There are almost no famous female economists. Men are evolved to recognize that a meritocracy is essential because resources are limited, right? So you've got three spears and your family's hungry. You've got to give those three spears to the very, very best spear throwers.
[3:41] Otherwise, everyone dies.
[3:48] And if it's war, you give the swords, you have like 10 swords or 10 weapons, you give those weapons to the very best, youngest and strongest and quickest and most skilled fighters. You don't have, well, you know, you haven't thrown the spear, you old half-blind guy, well, gee, you haven't thrown the spear in the last five hunts. It's your turn, man. It's your turn. We don't do that as men. So, if you look at all of this stuff, equality of outcome versus equality of opportunity, DEI versus meritocracy, quotas versus raw competence tests, it is all, all, all female mindset versus male mindset. And women of course have the resource acquisition strategy of sexuality and complaining men have the resource acquisition strategy of raw competence and a commitment to absolute meritocracy.
[4:54] Meritocracy. So if you look at, as women have taken over sports in schools, the way that it works, at least the way that I worked when I was growing up, and the way that it worked when I was growing up was the kids would pair off and you'd pick, right? You'd pick who's going to be on your team. There'd be two team captains who were the best, and they would pick from the horde of kids who's going to be on the team. And you picked that in order to show a meritocracy.
[5:23] And in order to reward those who were skilled and to punish those who weren't skilled with the goal of encouraging those who weren't skilled to become more skilled. So when I first came to Canada, I was not picked for baseball teams because nobody knew how well I could hit. I was a new kid. I had a funny accent and all of that. And then once it was shown that I was very good at athletics and could hit a ball very well, then I got picked, you know, first or second. And that's just natural, right? And it's good. It's healthy. You have to win, right? Sports is a preparation for hunting and war, where if you don't win, you die. And, you know, life being preferable to death, meritocracy is really, really important.
[6:03] So everybody gets their turn. Everybody gets an equal share of resources. The strong have to give up stuff to the weak. That is female nature. And it's a beautiful, beautiful thing in the family. I mean, it's a terrible thing in politics, but just about everything is a terrible thing in politics. So for men uh meritocracy is how we build a civilization uh whoever is the best gets the resources and that's what capitalism does right capitalism is is male and uh so capitalism is male socialism is female extreme capitalism is fat extreme masculinity is fascism extreme Extreme femininity is communism. And so women feel very uncomfortable when they see, like they feel viscerally, deeply dick in their bone marrows, they feel very uncomfortable when they see somebody they perceive to be an underdog suffering and it triggers their protect and keep alive the younger sibling.
[7:09] Their youngest child and of course women uh raise for most of our evolution women raised children collectively they raised them in common so they don't have a strict us versus them so with men we're always in competition in the tribe we're always in competition with the men of other tribes and that competition is brutal and violent and it's not just war right i mean there's the war part of course right that there's men of other tribes always constantly wanting to come and take your stuff and rape your women. But for men, the way that we evolved is even hunting grounds, right? Like there are other men who want to come to your prime hunting grounds and take, like the poachers, so to speak, they want to come and take your food. And if they succeed, then you're going to, well, you're going to die. And the death can be any number of things, right? I mean, every now and then I think when I'm on a really, really long hike or doing something really physically strenuous, like scrolling Twitter. But I think about the decaying orbit, like the deadly thing that happens in the world throughout our evolution when you've had unsuccessful hunting, and so you don't have calories. And maybe you've run out of your visceral body fat or whatever. You don't have calories.
[8:37] But then you've got to go hunt again. But because you have fewer calories, you can't go as far. So it becomes like you don't have enough calories because you haven't had successful hunts, and therefore you become a worse hunter. And so the death usually would not be from starvation. The death would be from a number of things such as you can't fight off predators. You're too weak, right? The wolves come or the bears come or whatever comes. Comes or uh you you you're more susceptible to illness and infection because you're skinny and starving right or another tribe recognizes that you're weak and then comes and takes all your stuff and and takes you over and so on right, so you have to maintain this conveyor belt of calories and you know human beings especially you know 2500 3000 if you're a guy out there hunting and doing all this stuff you need a This is one of the reasons why most civilizations, when they could, went to farming. Because when you farm, the food comes to you, so you don't have to go and find it, right? You know where it is. It's in the field, right? So the food comes to you when you're farming, so it's less calories. And of course, there are other problems, lactose intolerance, gluten intolerance, and so on.
[9:54] But in general, right, and there's a great book called The 10,000-Year Explosion that's worth reading about all of this.
[10:05] So, men understand that resources are finite, and women, they have sexuality, evolutionarily speaking, right? Again, tons of exceptions, but just the general trend. Women have the positive offer of sexuality and the negative infliction of nagging or complaining or the withholding of sexuality. Right?
[10:32] In order to motivate the men to provide resources. So women are used to showing their receptivity to sexual access to gain resources, and women are used to complaining to gain resources. And so for women, there is less of a resources or a finite. For men, we're going to go out and get the resources, hunt and grow, and write all of this kind of stuff. So resources are... And of course, for women, too, they tend to do more gathering than hunting, right? And so for women, resources feel a lot more infinite because it's a lot easier to go and pick some berries as a whole than it is to go and find and bring down some potentially dangerous animal in the wild, right? So this is the general way that our emotions have evolved. And this, of course, is perfectly wonderful and healthy and great, except when combined with the coercive power of money printing and political redistribution, then it goes really, really kind of, it goes really kind of crazy. So why is this related to the question you may ask? And well, may you ask? It's a good question. So, so the addicts, right?
[11:43] For men, so for women, they're emotionally programmed that all the sorrowful, sad people are broken, sad-eyed victims that their wounds swell to help no matter what the cost. Because the cost of helping generally comes from men, right? And so one of the conflicts throughout our evolution is women want to help others, and men say, you can't because resources are finite.
[12:13] We can't afford to help, right? I've got a scene in my novel called The Future, which you should absolutely, completely, totally read. It's free, freedomain.com slash books, where a character named Roman, who's quite primitive but powerful, talks about all the times in history when your neighbors hadn't stored enough food for the winter and came by because they needed food from you. And the woman, of course, would want to help. She's friends with the other woman, and the man would have to say, we can't. I mean, brutal though it is, horrible though it is, if we help them, we all starve. Like, we can make it through just, right? But if we help them, if we bring them in, we all starve. And the brutality of that situation, I mean, this is one of the reasons why the brains in northern climates develop the way they do, is that if you don't make a plan for winter, and I don't mean sort of up around the real Inuit circles, but in sort of northern Europe and Siberia and so on. Well, those who didn't plan for winter didn't make it.
[13:23] And if the female impulse to help everyone, no matter what the cost, had been followed, then nobody would have made it. We all would have died. So women desperately want to help. And that's beautiful. I love that about women. Desperately want to help others. And men say, we'd love to, but we can't. We don't have the resources. It's, you know, I'm going to have to choose my family over a stranger or some other family.
[13:53] Now, one of the things that's happened, of course, in the modern world is money printing and debt at the governmental level has made any argument about finite resources non-credible, right? We could help. You know, where there's a will, there's a way. We can house everyone. We can feed everyone. We can take care of everyone. One well with bitcoin or gold or limited resources be like no we're out we're out you can't we're out you're gonna have to make some tough choices but because you can just print and borrow a female the female desire to take care of everyone that is metastasized from her children or neighborhood children to the world as a whole through the black alchemy of politics and money printing that has just taken over and now anyone who doesn't want to help anyone and everyone one is considered to be a bigot and a bad person and all that kind of stuff, right? Well, he could help, right? Could help.
[14:49] And so, because the, the, the constraint, the male constraint of, uh, resources are limited, we're going to have to make tough decisions. I mean, this is, it's not fair or right, but this is one of the reasons why, you know, women couldn't get credit cards, couldn't take out loans, couldn't open bank accounts because the female altruism to help everyone is so strong and powerful that it leads to debt, right? And men don't like debt and women are more comfortable with debt. You can see that in these statistics. So what does this mean? So you say, what do we do with the addicts, the antisocial? Ideally, we do not create them, but what do we do with the ones already broken that do not want help?
[15:28] So that's a female question. Nothing wrong with it. It's a good question to ask. But men don't really think that way. Men don't really think that way. What we think of is, you know, we see somebody who's some terrible addict and, you know, they're skinny and unwell and sleeping on street corners and so on. And we're like, well, that's, you know, that's a terrible shame. And it's really, really sad. But for men, we know that if we provide resources to them, we have to take away resources from someone else. And really, it's our own family. So we look at someone like that and we say, well, look, I didn't create that situation. I'm not responsible for that situation. It's a bad situation, but it's not my fault. I didn't create it. I didn't do it. I didn't abuse this person as a child. I didn't sell them drugs. I didn't offer them free whatever, right? I didn't traumatize them. I didn't beat them up. I didn't rob from them. So it's really, really sad, but I didn't do it. And I have been a responsible, mature person. I've become a father and a productive member of my society and raise my children well and love my family. So it's not how do we help them. That's a female perspective, which is that resources are infinite and you just have to be compassionate and people get taken care of, and that's the virtue signaling stuff, right? Right.
[16:55] For men, it's like, am I willing to harm my children's futures in order to try and help this person who's broken, who I did not break? I did not break. And we can say, of course, about addicts that they no longer have free will because they're addicted. But that's for men. So women look at that in the moment and they say, well, they can't help themselves. they can't fix themselves, they have no free will. I understand all of that. But from the male perspective is, but they had free will.
[17:27] At some point, they made a choice to take the drugs, right? Say it's a drug addict or something, right? Or an alcoholic. So at some point, now you don't immediately become addicted. Like it's not like the first time you take a drink, you become addicted. You take a drink and you say, oh gosh, that's really nice. I should try it again. And then you make that choice. And then, right, the addiction is, you can say it's It's diminishing free choice, but there is free choice at the beginning. Then you say, well, yes, but the people were abused as children and they're unhappy. And it's like, I understand that. And they do have that choice, which is to try and deal with their unhappiness of having been abused as children, which I completely sympathize with. They can go to the library and read free books. They can keep journals, which cost almost nothing. There are lots of free mental health resources for them to get therapy and so on. So they can take that approach or they can just drug themselves.
[18:19] And the male perspective is resources are finite. I did not break this person to try and help and fix this person. We'll take away from my family. We'll take away from my children. We'll take away from my village, my group or whatever. Right. And I don't, uh, I don't see the, that that's good. And then you have to say, uh, no, no. Um, uh, he's beyond fixing. Right. You understand that there, I mean, my view, I mean, I share, you understand it's my view. I don't know if there's a lot of research on this, but, um, people can destroy their physical health to the point where good health becomes impossible. Right. And people can destroy their mental health to the point where becoming mentally healthy. And my view, which is my opinion, my view, I've certainly seen it a bunch of times, but that doesn't mean that there's some sort of scientific study, of course, anecdotal, but there's my perspective. Perspective, that particularly with drugs, I mean, you, you can, you can fry your brain and your synapses to the point where you can't, uh, you can't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
[19:30] It doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way. I mean, at some point you smoke enough cigarettes, you can never run a marathon. I mean, your lungs are just too wrecked. I mean, it could be when you're 60 or 70 or whatever, but, uh, yeah, there's a tipping point, right? At some point, right, the health becomes like with alcoholism. At some point, your health becomes so bad that there's really no return to a particularly healthy state. And again, it could be later in life or whatever, right? But knowing when further resources can't reverse the problem is also essential. It also is essential, right? A triage, right? It's triage. gosh. So what do we do with the ones already broken that do not want help? You don't do anything.
[20:21] Because it's a violation of the non-aggressive. I mean, you can go and help them if you want, obviously. I mean, if you have the resources and you want to go and open a center for people who are late stage drug addicts, you can do all of that. It's your money. It's, you know, Absolutely. But as a society, through the power of politics, what do we do? Well, we let private charity do whatever can help them. But my personal opinion is that they are, certainly some of them, I mean, I guess you could try and make them comfortable. You keep them in out of the rain and you can give them some food and so on.
[21:01] I mean, if you've ever watched the show Intervention, there are people, I remember watching one, it was a guy who owned, he made a bunch of money with suntanning bets. And he was just an absolute crazed alcoholic, like one of these wake and drink kind of guys. And he was dying from alcoholism and his whole family and everyone, big intervention and so on. But he just, you know, they did their very best. He had money, he could have gone to rehab, but he just chose to drink himself to death anyway. Way and maybe it was beyond choice at that point but that's the result of you know the last if the last domino falls because the first domino is flicked well you still flick the first domino and that was a choice so even if it's all dominoes after that you still click the first one and he just drank himself to death anyway i mean i spent decades trying to help my mother with her mental illness and i could not fix it i could not do anything about it and um uh what what can i say I mean, so what do we do about them? That is we, what do we do about them?
[22:06] That's a female combined with politics becomes pathological altruism question. We don't do anything. Some people exist in this life, and the best they can offer society is to be a warning of what not to do.
[22:26] So if you want to help them you should help them i'm a prevention guy which means i want children to be treated well peaceful parenting.com please share the link i'm a prevention guy and if you want to be a try to cure guy you can certainly do that but as a society there's nothing that we should ever force anyone to do the response to addiction should not be coercive transfers of the resources. I'm not saying you're suggesting that. All right. Are you banned from Twitter? And if so, is there a chance you could look at getting unbanned now that Elon owns the place? I have been unbanned from Twitter with no communication from Twitter, no apologies, no withdrawal of things that Twitter said that in my view were not entirely accurate about me and so on. So, all right. Uh, but no, I, uh, I don't have any plans to, uh, post on Twitter. Um.
[23:24] I don't miss managing the madhouse of general misperceptions and responding to endless falsehoods and errors and all of that. I just don't miss that at all. And I really enjoy doing the work that I'm doing. Rather than wrangling with crazy people, advancing the discipline of reason and philosophy is, I think, the best use of my time. All right. What's next for you, Stefan Molyneux, after the peaceful parenting magnum opus? Any stones unturned? Well, yes, I'm working on a new novel about how disasters in life arise from the little decisions at the beginning of things. So I'm really, really looking forward. I'm really enjoying working on that. I love the richness of working on fiction.
[24:09] Why do people prefer echo chambers so much? How can they so viciously defend ideas so fragile that they cannot question their own worldview? view. Well, most people's quote relationships are just like gossamer spider threads held together by shared delusions. So if you question your shared delusions with other people, these quote relationships fall apart. Most relationships are incredibly fragile based upon accepting a delusional narrative that is inflicted by power, brutality, abuse, and authority, or fear of ostracism. I mean, you know, everybody's had this. I'm not telling you anything you don't know like everybody's had this situation where you're at some dinner party at some point in your life and someone's saying something that's just wrong and false and this and that the other and you're like oh but if i say something if i bring the truth to bear and blah blah blah it's going to be tense everyone's going to get upset so what generally called relationships are shared delusions enforced by brutal ostracism and so echo chambers are the only way that the unthinking can pretend to have any kind of connection with people. Like if we all believe the same lies, we can all get along. And it's very sad. To me, it's not worth erasing yourself and your thoughts and your curiosity in order to pretend to have a relationship with someone.
[25:28] Make a general prediction for the country over the course of the next 20 to 25 years, worse and worse, how to build mental toughness and resiliency and how to manage stress and worries, how to cope, how to build mental toughness and resiliency and how to manage stress and worries. So how to manage stress and worries is pretty easy. Just have people in your life that are 100% dedicated to truth, reason, and reality and have great love for you and and provide the same in return. Stress is fundamentally predicated on isolation.
[25:58] If you are isolated, then your stress is very high, and that's because our systems, we have evolved as a social animal, as social animals, because we need the companionship of others in order to survive. And so we are punished with great fear and anxiety when we are isolated. right? Ostracism literally stimulates in people's minds the same pathways and mental circuitry as physical torture, right? So you have your own group that is bound together with bonds of reason, love, and virtue, and resiliency will be yours.
[26:38] How to cope with the loss of a loved one, career, and or how to navigate life's ups and downs in a healthy manner? Well, don't expect everything to be smooth sailing. 90% of happiness is adjusting expectations. If you expect to be happy and trouble-free every day of your life, then you are not living in reality, right? So I do not expect every day to go well. I do not expect everything to be smooth sailing. When the smooth sailing happens, that's lovely, but I know the storms are always coming back. So if you adjust just your expectations, then you can be happy. But if you have unrealistic expectations, then you will be unhappy.
[27:19] All right, how to raise masculine, strong boys into men while also being a part-time dad because discipline and guidance is a challenge with a baby mama abuser.
[27:32] Well, the problem, of course, is that if you have a very aggressive mother for your children and you're estranged because she's a bad person, then the stronger you build your sons, the more she's going to be threatened and bring them down. So maybe something that you have to talk about them when they get older. If you were single, what kind of woman would you be looking for? Recent evidence, virtue, curiosity, clarity, passion, and so on. All right. I hope you're doing well, Stefan Molyneux. I am doing well. Thank you very much for asking.
[28:04] Will Republicans ever admit their plans won't fix the birth rate? Yeah, I mean, the birth rate foundation, birth rate collapse foundation is the result of hedonism, of telling people that short-term pleasure is the main goal of life. Life because children are long-term pleasures right there's a lot of sacrifices at the beginning and they are long-term pleasures so yes you have the discomfort of pregnancy you have sleeplessness you have crying you have loss of independence you have anxiety about their health and right so kids are a short-term sacrifice long-term immense and incredible gain and so the the, you just train people to be hedonistic. You train them that discipline is, uh, what, you know, you, you say the discipline is repression, man. You just, you don't know how to let loose, man. You don't know how to have fun. You don't just stop being such a square, man. Just live for the moment, man. Enjoy, enjoy it. Right.
[29:05] I remember someone telling me that he would go to these cottages on the weekends. I remember you telling me this story like, you know, here is what it's like up at the cottage, right? You've been maybe indulging in the wine and beer a little bit too much at night. And then the next day, everyone's just sort of sitting on the dock, kind of chilling, there's some good tunes on. And some guy always comes up and says, hey, let's play Pictionary. And it's like, ah, don't be that guy. And it's like, yeah, okay, so that's hedonism, right? You drink too much, you've got a headache, your body is tired and achy from alcohol poisoning and it's all just wretched and terrible and then someone wants to come along and do something that actually stimulates your brain rather than staring like some bovine sodden brain half poisoned uber mammal into the middle distance because while listening to a druggie rock um yeah so uh you you just you just have to remind people of the benefits of discipline and sacrifice. But if you're just into what brings me pleasure in the moment, you won't ever really be interested in having children. All right. Okay, I will stop there. I thank everyone so much for your very kind support and thoughts. And I love you guys for the continuance of this conversation. Thank you, thank you so much. Have yourselves an absolutely wonderful, wonderful day. And if you could help out this philosophy conversation, I would really appreciate that.
[30:28] Freedomain.com slash donate. Bye.
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