How to Meet Girls! Transcript


0:00 - Introduction and Rant
1:57 - Understanding What Men Want
6:16 - The Role of Men in Choosing a Partner
9:30 - Legacy and Values in Parenting
12:30 - The Challenges of Modern Relationships
38:59 - The World of Dating Apps
43:29 - The Ratio on Dating Apps
49:18 - Overcoming Nervousness
54:15 - Approaching a Woman in Public
57:44 - Subtle Approaches and Refined Interactions
1:00:55 - Avoiding Relationship Games
1:08:34 - Finding Love and Authenticity
1:10:58 - The Concept of the State
1:11:55 - Deciphering "Take it Slow"
1:32:50 - Seeking Credibility and Action

Long Summary

In tonight's episode, I delved into the complexities of understanding what men want and why it may be perceived as confusing for women. Drawing from a recent interview that covered an array of thought-provoking topics, I highlighted the significance of choosing a partner who aligns with one's values, especially in the context of raising children and passing on a legacy of morals and mindset. I debunked the myth that men are intimidated by successful women and elucidated the correlation between socioeconomic status and relationships. We delved into societal pressures surrounding relationships, including the impact of stereotypes like the nurse archetype on relationship dynamics, and touched on the challenges of parental overwhelm and its repercussions on emotional management.

Reflecting on personal experiences related to attachments, relationships, and moral viewpoints, I dove deeper into the dynamics of long-distance relationships, underscoring the importance of mutual efforts in sustaining a healthy relationship. We examined the materialization of ideas and values, weaving together philosophical insights with personal anecdotes while offering guidance on navigating romantic pursuits, addressing themes such as rejection, self-esteem, and perceptions of quality. Furthermore, we dissected behaviors on dating apps, unveiling the underlying motivations driving online interactions.

Our conversation meandered through topics ranging from the dimming of a city block due to self-pleasure to the nuances of forming connections online versus in person. We shone a light on the challenges posed by dating apps in terms of pair bonding and explored the discrepancies in approaching relationships, along with insights on attractiveness, societal norms, and the intricacies of initiating contact. Transitioning to practical advice on overcoming fears when expressing interest in someone, we stressed the significance of honesty, directness, and the ability to discern social cues based on shared values. Through anecdotes and humor, we concluded the episode with personal reflections on cultivating enduring relationships.

Underscoring the foundational importance of honesty and virtue in relationships, I emphasized the futility of game-playing and manipulation, which can destabilize connections. Authenticity and self-awareness emerged as crucial elements in finding a harmonious partnership, while delving into philosophical discussions on the concept of the state as organized violence and the immaterial nature of rights. I addressed the value of donations to support the show without entailing a demand for specific actions in return, highlighting the necessity of owning one's ideas and pursuing them with unwavering dedication.

In the latter part of our conversation, I shed light on the art of presenting ideas effectively, stressing the essence of articulating a coherent argument and seeking professional guidance to refine intricate concepts. The discourse pivoted to the significance of establishing credibility and ensuring that ideas resonate with others, underlining the importance of respecting individuals' time and priorities. Lastly, we navigated the terrain of credibility building and the process of earning trust through showcasing expertise and a commitment to excellence in ideas and communication.


[0:00] Introduction and Rant

[0:00] Good evening, everybody. Welcome to your Wednesday Night Live. Oh, I have a rant. I have a rant, but I'm here for you. I'm here for you. Thank you for the dive into codependency. It was lovely. I'm diving into the devouring mother now. And, um, yeah.

[0:25] Do you ever find it confusing? confusing, how it's confusing to women what men want. Do you ever just say, you know, it's not super complicated. It's not super complicated.

[0:45] Why is it so confusing to women Women, what men want. Have you ever had this experience or this thought, like, why? Why? Women just trying to parse out these texts and trying to figure out, what does he mean by this? What does he mean? What does he want? I understand that for men, what women want can be a little bit confusing, but at least we know that. But I did a little show on this today, but I'll just mention it at the beginning here. Year oh as i mentioned at the beginning here i did my first outside interview um being interviewed for the first time in about four years connor tomlinson c-o-n-n-o-r-t-o-m-l-i-n-s-o-n connor tomlinson you can find him at lotus l-o-t-u-s-e-a-t-e-r-s lotus and donors can already get the uh show here but it was a great overview we did christianity atheism peaceful parenting, feminism, birth rates, and just great, great stuff. Great, great stuff.

[1:57] Understanding What Men Want

[1:58] So, hit me with a why if you would like me to explain to the ladies, what we want. What do men want? Do you think it would be helpful? Oh, you guys like the interview? I did a great job. Well, thank you. It was a good interview.

[2:23] Yeah, it would be helpful, right?

[2:28] So I saw this video, and it was this woman. She was European, and she was like, I am an entrepreneur. I have several advanced degrees, including an MBA. I run my own business, consulting company. And I just can't find a quality man.

[2:46] I suppose that the quality, high-earning, high-achievement men, all they want is some stupid blonde bimbo to rub their feet and bring them a sandwich in a sundress. Anyway now i'm hungry and want to wear a sundress so that's a topic for another time that's ready for the only stiff hands channel so this idea that uh well men are are we are we're just intimidated by by hard-driving competent assertive aggressive business-oriented massive productivity We're so intimidated. We want to fall back to the vacant sex doll stare of the apparently ubiquitous blonde bimbette who doesn't challenge us. Because you see, apparently, what men want is to be challenged at all times. And she says, no, but it is true that I'm an entrepreneur. But when I get home, I have feminine energy and I want to have the sex and I want to have the cuddles. And it is not the case that I will be a entrepreneur, a high-maintenance boss, bitch, babe. It's like, oh, my God.

[4:00] Oh, my God. You know, the beginning of wisdom, as the saying goes, is to call things by their proper names. slash donate is the proper name for this particular moment. Moment, but it is very, very, very strange. Yes, slash donate is the place to tip. It's where the least overhead is. And as a guy who's bald, least overhead is really my entire expose myself to the world plan. So yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. It is a funny thing right it's a funny thing that women appear to be confused and it seems to be the case that whenever women are confused it's because men are deficient, it's the only explanation well the reason you see that i can't figure out what men want is followed by an insult to what men want. Men don't want a bimbo. Men don't want an empty-headed woman. That's a big, vacuous echo chamber to stroll through life with, dragging the ball and chain of somebody else's low IQ. I think not. No, thank you. So.

[5:23] What do men own? So, you know, this is an exercise in Socratic thinking for the ladies. And, you know, it can go for the men as well. So here's a little bit of Socratic thinking. So before asking what men want, ask why are men? Why are men wither testicles? Why are men? Well, men are for children. Women are for children. That's what we are. That's why we are a sexually dimorphic species. We don't hack off a bit of our own toenail and grow a fresh new one in Gatorade and Celsius. So why are men? Men are for the children.

[6:16] The Role of Men in Choosing a Partner

[6:16] So, ladies, what we're looking for, what we are built to look for, what we are programmed to look for, what we're looking for is a good mother for our children.

[6:32] We are looking for a good mother for our children. Now, if you are some 12 degrees boss babe making half a mil a year, working 80 hours a week, hey, man, good for you. Like, hey, you want to go and do your thing and you want to go and succeed beyond the wildest dreams of Cleopatra? More power to you. I got no issue with that whatsoever.

[6:54] But you ain't going to be a good mom to my kids. Like, that's not going to happen, right? That's not going to happen. You're out there boss babing so hard that you can't be a good mother to my kids. Sorry. See, here's the thing. As a man, I want to provide and protect for my family, and I want to pass along my values. I want to pass along my values to my children. Because if I'm a successful man, I have some good values. Assume me I'm not some predatory, but I'm in the free market, right? So if you want to succeed in the free market, you have to have some integrity, you have to have some honesty, you have to have some directness, You have to have some empathy. You have to understand how to give and receive value. You have to be a good negotiator. You have to be assertive. You want to pass these values along to your children. You don't want to hoard all of the success and leave your children bereft of guidance. So how does a man pass his values on to his children? Well, what he does is he chooses a woman whose value he shares, whose values he shares, and they then raise his children.

[8:15] That's it. There's really nothing more complicated than that. So you choose a woman whose values you share. You share with the values, and then you have her raise your children. Now, what you don't want as a whole, as a man, if you want to pass your values on to your children, what you don't want is some strange-ass woman raising your kids. Some au pair, some nanny, some daycare teacher. You don't want some strange-ass woman raising your kids because then you're out of control of the values. You're then transferring resources from your income to a woman who's not your wife, whose values you probably don't share, to raise your kids. Cuts it off.

[8:58] It's cockish to have people who don't share your values raise your kids. It's letting another woman raise your children is like having yourself raise another man's child. Men don't want to have her values stripped from us by the woman's ambition where she hands the children over to strangers to raise, wherein we cannot control the transfer of virtues and values. We want to leave a legacy. Now, a legacy ain't money.

[9:30] Legacy and Values in Parenting

[9:31] A legacy is morals. A legacy is values. A legacy is mindset. So if you're a boss babe and we say, oh, you know, yeah, I want to get married. I want to have, like, say, three kids or four kids, right? Because the more you have, the easier each kid is to raise. So say I want to have four kids. So you're probably going to have to stay home, even if we don't homeschool much, for like 10 to 15 years. Now, is entrepreneurial 12 degrees boss babe 80 hour work week hound woman of the free market, is she going to want to stay home for 10 to 15 years, raising kids and transmitting and transferring values? Spoiler, she's not.

[10:18] Now, the successful man says to the ambitious woman, Well, I don't need your money. And if it's just the two of us working 60, 70, 80 hours a week for two weeks of vacation a year, that's a pretty empty hamster wheel stupid life of accumulation without enjoyment. And remember, every man, I don't know if women feel this. You ever have this? You ever have this? Wake up in the morning, you're like, I hope I don't die today. Today could be the day. You never know. I hope I don't die. I hope I don't die. So a man, if he's just going to pair up with some boss babe workaholic, and he's a workaholic, so they're both working 60, 70, 80 hours a week for two weeks vacation a year. Oh dear so sorry you died at 54 oh so sorry boy that was a lot of work man you put your nose to the grindstone to the point where you ended up like in the ghoul looking like the ghoul, from fallout no nose.

[11:34] Sorry man you put a lot of time and work and effort in boy you you really really expected to enjoy the last third of your life spoiler turns out that was a lot of stress a lot of sitting Sitting plus stress is a recipe for bad health in my amateur, humble opinion.

[11:53] So I'm not going to just sit there and work like a dog and not have kids. So I want kids so that I have something more than work and money and experiences because they all die with you. I mean, you can leave your money, but your use of the money dies with you. And who are you going to leave your money to without kids? Well, this is, of course, why every rich entrepreneur has the left try and break up their marriage so that the money goes to the wife who then gives it to the leftist causes. X. The marriage get the money.

[12:30] The Challenges of Modern Relationships

[12:30] It seems to me the entire purpose of the modern free market is for men to accumulate wealth in order to get divorced by women so that the women can give money to leftist causes. That's the cycle of capitalism.

[12:45] Are you going to be a good mom to my kids? Are they going to be happy? Are they going to be content? Are they going to be well taken care of? Are they going to be loved? Are they going to be treasured? Are they going to be respected? Are you going to be able to negotiate and reach with them? And listen, with all due respect to our good friends in the gay community, it is a fundamental mistake that women make, which is they say, well, this is what I would find attractive in a man. Therefore, a man will find that attractive in me. No, you see, if I wanted a woman with boobs, sorry, if I wanted a man with boobs, like someone who's just like a man, but with boobs, that would not be the straightest thing in the known universe, would it now?

[13:40] We want someone different from ourselves we want someone who's going to raise our kids so that they're happy we want to participate in the raising of the kids but the man serves the family by being away, but I don't want what you want because I'm straight so I want a woman not a man with boobs.

[14:05] What can I tell you? What can I tell you? So, men... Okay, let's go honest. Should we be honest? Let's be honest with each other. So, when I was single, I'm of course very happily married for over 20 years, but when I was single, was there ever... A woman, if she was attractive enough, who was too low socioeconomic status for you to even consider. Just out of curiosity. Just out of curiosity. Like you can be making six figures, you could be making a couple of quarter mil or whatever. But if the waitress is pretty and charming enough, or even the girl at the checkout counter at the grocery store, if the woman is pretty enough or nice enough or friendly enough or fun enough or he could right, do you care.

[15:12] You don't care. You don't care. And that's the difference. We're looking for a good humor, good attitude, great morals, pair bonding, an overflow of affection that the women need to embrace the children with. We're not looking for an MBA. In fact, an MBA is a negative because that says that you will be discontented raising our children, which means we can go both make a bunch of money and then i don't pass my legacy along to my children and my children are kind of strangers to me i don't know why do why do people do this why do people do this have strangers raise your children so that your children become strangers to you that's very strange.

[16:06] Yeah miss germany versus the mcdonald's cashier yeah no even women in debt are still getting dates yeah they're getting dates they're getting dates but are they getting mates, thoughts on the dudes who say they'll only date a woman who has a job and can support herself i always cringe when i hear dudes say that well those are people who don't want to those are guys who don't want to have kids. I never discriminate based on the woman's wealth. All economic classes are served with me. But don't people tend to marry within their own socioeconomic class? I mean, you certainly will have more in common, but you, and I'm not saying you'd marry every pretty waitress or whatever, but would you necessarily say no? Right? So if you're a woman and you make a quarter million dollars a year, you'll never consider the waiter. Never. I mean, you might have a fling or whatever, right? But you'll never consider the waiter. I mean, even in Sex and the City, there was that very handsome, rock-abbed waiter that all the women were dreaming over. But he couldn't just be a waiter. He turned out to be a very talented actor, right? Who was crushing it in the theater world and became a movie star. Like, he can't just be a waiter.

[17:29] So, yeah, people do tend to marry within their own socioeconomic class, but that doesn't mean that men won't consider women outside of it, if they're nice enough.

[17:43] Yes, I have seen the videos of men. You said there's a big problem with men in their 20s. They have no family to work for. Have you seen those depressing TikToks of a man going to the office and coming home to play with his dog? I have seen those, and those are just propaganda. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they were funded by some malevolent external state interest, right? It's like the women who, like, the man's putting the ring on, and then they flash to cleaning toilets and crying babies and doing the laundry. That's all just depop stuff. That's all anti-population, lower-the-birth-rate stuff, right? So those guys, it's easy. You just put sedate music and don't change your facial expression. That's all. You don't even change your facial expression when you're working out. Right, so those TikToks, yeah, the guys go through their day and they just don't change their facial expression and you play that slow tinkly music and suddenly it just seems like hell on earth, right? This is how programmable people are. I'm not saying you guys, but programmable. Thank you for the tip. But he was only possible because of Samantha. She worked in PR and made the man famous. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, I think that's right. Right. Steph, on an earlier podcast, I remember your warnings against dating nurses who might have a proclivity towards lacking pair-parting skills. If you haven't already, could you extrapolate on this? Cheers. Right.

[19:09] Right. I'm not sure of the evolution of the unstable nurse paradigm. I'm not sure why it is the case, but it does seem to be the case. So for me nurses as a whole take the skills of nurturing and bonding that are designed for their community their children and the parents the old age people great grandparents great grandparents they take all of that caregiving and nurturing and they pour it into strangers for money right so why did women develop all of this stuff right the taking care of people and taking care of the sick and right because there were ill people around who needed women to take care of them because men were busy hunting and planting crops and harvesting and so on. So nurses take all of that proclivity designed for community and they sell it to strangers for money. That's not good. Now you say, ah, yes, but we need nurses. I get all of that. You once dated a female surgeon. That's a big fish. Wait. Yeah, no, that is a big fish. All right. rights. I began working in a hospital. It's a target rich environment, but scary. I don't know what target rich means there.

[20:35] Reminds me of my mom. Sadly, I let her know I'm expecting, and instead of being happy that I was giving her another grandchild, she facepalmed and said, if I didn't have enough to do with my other children, makes me wonder if my sister and I were too much for her, though we went to public school. No, parental exasperation is an emotional form of control, right? Parental, overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed, right? Yeah. So overwhelmed and you kids are too much and I'm at the end of my rope is a warning sign. You know, like that dinosaur in Jurassic Park that flares out its neck before it attacks, right? It is a warning sign. It is a form of saying, I'm too lazy to hit you, so I'm just going to scare you. So yeah, I would say, I don't believe this overwhelmed stuff. I don't. Because, you know, if women were so overwhelmed, they just ask other people to do stuff, right? So it's the old, well, I can't believe I have so many dishes to do all the time. Well, I'll do the dishes. No, you just do it wrong. So I can, the moment, and it's not the case in my family, but in the past, I would listen to a woman say she was overwhelmed and then it offered a help. And if she didn't accept the help, I just wouldn't listen to her being overwhelmed anymore. I'd be just like, me, me, me, me, like a mosquito, just noise in the tent, right? It's just noise.

[22:00] I'm breaking my back. This is so heavy. Oh, can I help you lift it? No. Okay, well then, good luck with your back, but I don't care. Like I have, I'm very attached, but I have this, I have this cutoff where I'm just not attached anymore. It's, you know, the straw that breaks the camel's back and so on. I'm really, really dedicated to helping people and so on. And I'm very attached. And where the attachments are great and good and mutual, wonderful. It just gets better and better. but I'll tell you I can feel it it's like this this long silver thread like the cherry orchard just I can hear it just snap and I'm just like no I'm done I felt this a number of times in my life even with long-term relationships where I just I can almost hear it in my I don't know if you've ever I can almost hear it in my in my head oh well that just snapped yep and and then I don't feel anything for the person. It's wild. It's wild. I can go from really, really caring about someone.

[23:03] And that's the release of non-reciprocity. That's the release that happens when there's not reciprocity in the relationship. Just, yeah, I'm sure we've all had this before. You just wake up and you're like, wow, I really don't, uh, I'm done. I'm done. I don't know if it's, is it a white thing? Is it a European thing? Is it just a me thing? I don't know. But yeah. And when you're done, you're done, right? All right. Um, would you say that morality is true in relation as incongruence to an immaterial dimension of reality? If so, is the objectivist view of morality somewhat platonic. No, morality is not true in relation to an immaterial dimension of reality because an immaterial dimension of reality is non-reality. It's like saying an immaterial wall. Well, if it's immaterial, it's not a wall, right? I mean, if you hired someone to put a door in your house, some of your door broke or something, and they come and there's like no door and they say, no, no, no, no, I put in an immaterial door. And then you say, well, that's okay. I'll just pay you with immaterial money. Well, they wouldn't like that, right? It's like the bell that goes off when the toaster oven is done. Yeah.

[24:25] Uh, thanks for the great comments and insight as always. Thank you. I appreciate that. Your video on long distance relationships with some real talk. I know a guy who travels 55 kilometers one way to see his girlfriend multiple times per week. Even that seems like a headache to me. Would you consider that simping? All right. All right. If you're not moving heaven and earth to get closer together, I don't believe in your relationship at all. I didn't believe in it. So, 55 kilometers to see his girlfriend, why aren't they moving? Right, move someplace together, move to be with each other, just move. Oh, but we can't, because this, because that, because the other. It's like, okay, then, if your passion can't overcome 55 kilometers, it's anemic and will die of iron deficiency. It will die of testicle deficiency.

[25:30] No, I mean, maybe this is a younger generation thing. I mean, I remember when I was interested, I never did end up dating her, but I remember I was interested in a girl many decades ago, and she was going away to university, and I happened to be not bound by a particular location. And, you know, my friends were like, well, she's gone away. And I'm like, yeah, but if I like her, I'll just move to where she is. Well, that's stalking. It's like, no, that's commitment. That's called commitment. And if you're not waking up, moving heaven and earth within your brain, trying to figure out how to get in close proximity to the love of your life, if you're not figuring that out.

[26:15] Then it's a time waster. It's a bookmark on an empty page. You want to get laid, you're killing time, you think you're immortal, and you're willing to let other better women float by. That's all. I don't care about long-distance relationships. I'm not interested. Unless, of course, they're moving heaven and earth to be together. They both live with their parents. We are in our early to mid-20s. They've been dating for five years. And last he told me her parents don't know about him because she's afraid of their reaction. I think he's just told his parents after five years now as well. Yeah, well. All right. So let me ask you this. Sorry. Would you say that there is nothing immaterial about reality? Aren't values real but immaterial? Sorry. Values exist in the mind, and the mind is a material object. Right? So you understand I'm shaping your brain, and you're shaping my brain. Every question shapes my brain. Every answer shapes your brain. It's mutual. Answers shape my brain as well. We're shuffling electrons. We're shuffling neurons. We're making connections. We're discarding connections. So ideas exist within the mind and mind is material. Ideas are material, right?

[27:36] They are as material as muscles. They are as material as tendons. A tendon is a connection between joints and body parts, and thoughts are connections between neurons. So, yeah, ideas are physical. Thoughts are physical. We know that because there aren't any thoughts without the physical proximity of the brain.

[27:55] Let's see here. Yeah, we're shuffling cells and atoms and neurons and connections here. We're just moving things around. We're rewiring whole cities here. We're rewiring a whole continent called thought in the mind. We're shaping and molding our brains in accordance with truth, reason, evidence, and reality. Dating for five years. All right. So at what point do you shit or get off the pot? Sorry to use such a coarse analogy. I see your dating app question. I will get to it. At what point, like, so I'm older now, right? So if, if I was talking to a guy in his mid twenties and he's been dating this woman for 20, he's been dating this woman since he was 20 and he's 25 dating this woman for five years. I'm like, well, don't you don't love her. You don't love her. You're treading water, waiting for something better. That's the only reason people don't get married. The only reason people don't get married is they're treading water, killing time, bookmarking their progress, in the hopes that something better is going to come along. They are dying to have an affair with someone better. But they're too afraid to be alone, so they're killing time with other people.

[29:19] I told him that too, but he just skirts around it and says, I wouldn't know because I'm not in a relationship. I hope he never goes to an oncologist who has never had cancer themselves. Right. Why? Because if you just don't have the experience, you can't say anything. Right. All right. Um, yeah, I, I, I remember when I was directing a play of mine, this woman who was, um, she was my stage manager and she was just going through the process of breaking up. Up, she was in her, she was 27 and it was breaking up in a five and a half year relationship and it was just like, this is just the worst thing ever. That's just the worst thing ever. Just the worst thing ever. It's just a nightmare.

[30:10] Yeah, I don't care about people's long-term relationships. It's like, okay, I get it. You know, like you have a job and it's like, okay, this is a do-for-job. It'll do for now. It'll do for now. It's a job. It's an okay job. You know, I'll...

[30:24] I mean, I need to eat. I got to pay rent. So I guess this job is okay for now. But, you know, I've still got my resume out there and so on, right? Yeah. I remember I was working in my first coding job that I've talked about before when I was programming at COBOL74. So I had a coding job and there was this lovely Scottish man who was in charge of the whole project. And like a Scottish man, he was super friendly, but if you crossed him, he'd rip your guts out to make his own personal haggis dish. Scottish people are like incredibly loyal. And if you screw with them, they will disembowel your bloodline. It's pretty wild. anyway so there was this uh i can't remember he was asian some asian guy and he called in sick and then his girlfriend called and uh wanted to talk to him and no no he's sick he called in sick, it's like no no no he left he left this morning he had a suit on he's got to be there somewhere and so of course you know two and two guy was very smart and he's like oh okay so he's going for a job interview and calling in sick and then when the guy came in the guy said the guy came in And the next day he said, yeah, pack up your shit and go. Just go. Yeah, nothing for you here, man. Scotsman, if they're on your side, you can't lose. If they're not on your side, you should pray for a quick death. That's just the way, the way that it is.

[31:54] Uh he's done a lot of stuff for this girl he pays for her uber meals he pays for her uber drives meals drives her around and he dropped her off on the club without them i'm not sure how to tell him i don't think this relationship is healthy he's a sweet guy but i think he may have some undiagnosed asperger's or something yeah the asperger's thing is just a big bucket i mean maybe he's just naive all right the brain is remarkable i can instantly travel billions of light years then back back, but what you put your mind to matters. You mean in your imagination, you can't obviously instantly travel billions of light years and back, and you can imagine going there or whatever, but it's not, that's nothing real, right? No, you can't go faster than light. As you accelerate towards light, the energy used to accelerate gets converted into mass and you end up as a very swift moving Lizzo. It's not, not pretty. It's not pretty. All right. So hi, Steph, what are your thoughts on contacting a woman I matched with on a dating app through LinkedIn in or directly at her place of work. We unmatched due to time running out, 24 hours with no response on her end, but she seems very compatible and virtuous and open-minded and interesting. She's also cute. Conventional wisdom says this is a big no-no. A fresh philosophical take on this move, or any advice or thoughts on how to approach this would be appreciated. Chad speech. Thanks. Um...

[33:18] I assume you can't match with her again. And personally, I would give one. So I would put together a very, very carefully worded, lovely, wonderful, poetic, deep, beautiful, heartwarming message.

[33:37] And I would send it to her however I could. And then that would be it. I would try to arouse her interest, but I wouldn't go after that. That right i wouldn't go after that because after that is two rejections right so one rejection is she didn't contact you back on this dating app and the second is that you sent her a message through some other way right and you can say listen uh this is the only message i'm going to send you i think you're wonderful i have a really straight feeling a really strong feeling we could be compatible uh there's something about you i just can't stop thinking about you uh i think think you have the most beautiful smile you seem to have this wonderful spirit coming off you and um you'd look great on my air fryer i mean sorry uh out for dinner in my air fryer no forget the air fryer i guess so don't don't leave a voice message because then you'll panic like i do, but uh yeah i i just yeah you you send her a um you send her a message uh telling her what you think and if she reciprocates great if she doesn't that's a double rejection and she's not No, not worth you. Because, you know, there's this funny thing that happens, right? Thanks, Jodi. There's this funny thing that happens that a lot of people are rejected because they're low quality. Some people are rejected because they're high quality. You kind of know how this works. Some people are rejected because they're high quality.

[35:02] And when you finally get someone who sees your quality, who sees your quality sees them! Corner them. John Fowles them. Collector them. No, I mean, if somebody sees your quality, the relationship is incredibly easy. So easy. You know, I mean, there's no upgrade for me with my wife. There's nobody better. There's no upgrade for my wife with me.

[35:35] So, there's no upgrade. Great, but you have to be quality to see quality, right? You have to, right? This is the Dunning-Kruger effect, that people who aren't quality can't tell quality. Like, I don't know what a good heart valve replacement looks like so that they could be killing the guy, could be saving his life. I don't really know unless something flatlines.

[36:05] Oh, yeah, I saw that. Recommendations on an air fryer for my family of eight. Okay, Jeffrey Dahmer, calm down. That's not funny. That guy was a serial killer. Oh, is it your first day on the internet?

[36:19] I've heard women say they're too afraid to match with handsome guys or interesting, cool ones. Yeah. Yeah. I did that as well. Actually, the girl I had a huge thing for in college that I never expressed interest in at the time, I saw on LinkedIn this year and added her. Sent that similarly heartfelt message. We spoke for a bit. She was engaging with me nicely, and then she ghosted me shortly after. Sorry about that. But you know what? You shoot your shot, and you don't have regret. It's worth it to not have the regret. That's a good principle to follow even in business-slash-work, somebody who recognizes your quality. I won't do that ever again, but it was worth a shot. What? Why wouldn't you do that again?

[36:58] What do you mean? It didn't work once, so you're never doing it again? This is like this old joke, right? This old joke, there's two guys are talking in a bar, right? One guy says, you want another beer? And he's like, no, one is my limit. I never have more than one. I only have one beer. And then he's like, well, do you want to shoot some pool? Yes, but I'll only play one game. One is my limit. I never have more than one. Well, maybe we can play some darts. Yes, of course. But darts is my game. I'll only have one. I'll never have more than one. And he says, what are you here for anyway? You don't drink. You don't play, oh, I'm here to meet my son. It's like your only child, I assume. Not the best joke in the world, but it did sort of say, why, why would you let some woman ghosting you determine what you do in the future? That's surrendering your free will to somebody who's rude, right?

[37:54] Why would you let somebody ghosting you determine what you do in the future?

[38:03] I could be missing something. Oh, you won't do it again because you just don't think there'll be another example. Okay. Yeah. But now just in general. Yeah. So people are rude to you. Right. You don't, you don't let that determine. You don't surrender your free will to people who are low quality. Right. All right. And it's fine that she didn't want to, um, uh, it's fine that she didn't want to continue. Obviously, that's her choice, but it's kind of rude to not say, you know, I'm going to have to move on. I do have a boyfriend. I'm sorry I misled you off. Whatever. But she probably doesn't want to say that. All right. I was getting so antsy. I have driven by her work twice this week around lunchtime to see if I could run into her. I have good physical presence, but perhaps a heartfelt message is a better idea. Thanks, Steph. I'll definitely provide an update because I will not be leaving this stone unturned. She really seems special. Thanks. Yeah.

[38:59] The World of Dating Apps

[38:59] There are people out there who reject others just to feel better about themselves or elevate their own status. Yeah, for sure. For sure.

[39:09] And there are women who date for looks, not wealth. They date for looks, not potential. And that's just our selected. Sorry, that's just, yeah, that's our selected nonsense. And they're not serious about having kids, right? Steph, the love doctor. Yeah, I used to do this libertarian love doctor. I used to do that many years ago. go. They take advice from a libertarian perspective, but.

[39:35] A lot of people are on dating apps for self-validation. Well, yeah, they're jumping from dopamine hit to dopamine. Ooh, I got a like. Ooh, I got a like. Ooh, someone likes me. And, of course, I think a lot of people are on dating apps so that they can have masturbation fantasies and not actually approach women, right? Or men, for that matter as well, right? I mean, the female sex toys apparently are built in Soviet shipyards and powered by the heart of Beetlejuice's nuclear fission reactor.

[40:07] Woman's self-pleasure makes the entire city block dim all right um it would be nice if you could meet more kind people but they're hard to find online i almost never meet people in person that talk to me the way most people do online yeah i get that i get that how does that impact their Their ability to pair bond. Sorry, I don't know what that refers to. Ah. All right. And it's funny, you know, I was thinking today, I got a show tonight, right? And I was like, you know, I did put out the, you know, the email or the messages which say, you know, if you donate this month, you get the Peaceful Parenting AI, and you get Peaceful Parenting, the audio book, and the Kindle version and all of that. And I was like, so people have donated, so I wonder what's going to happen to two donations on the live stream. And yes, a little low, a little low. Okay. I'm not an ugly guy. I'd say I'm a seven or eight out of 10. But when I tried dating apps two years ago, I barely got matches. It absolutely crushed my confidence and I haven't used them since. Right. Right. You know, women don't approach men, right?

[41:27] I mean, Asian women, white women, it can be a little bit different in other cultures, but women, if you're on a dating app and you're waiting to get contacted by women, I don't know what. See, remember, women want the advantages of masculinity, but not any of the disadvantages, which I can vaguely understand. So women want the money. They want the votes. Obviously, they don't want to be drafted, and they don't want to work down the sewers, and they don't want to work on oil rigs, and they don't want to approach men. Men right sorry i mean i mean wouldn't you want all the benefits and none of the drawbacks if you could so that's what you do right that's what you do so yeah if you're trying to gauge your attractiveness uh thank you for the tip if you're trying to gauge your attractiveness by whether you're approached by women on apps, you might as well just take a chainsaw to your spine and turn it into estrogen atoms right away. Women who approach are usually promiscuous in my experience. Well, women find it shameful in general. In general, women find it shameful to approach men. The women who approach men tend to be people without shame, and that's not a good thing.

[42:49] Right? Right. That's like the men, you know, we all have this fantasy. Maybe you have this fantasy of like, you just walk up to the woman. Hi, how you doing? Totally calm. No, uh, upset. No, uh, no worry, no concern, no anxiety. And it's like, okay, so if you don't feel any nervousness approaching a woman, you're probably a sociopath with no capacity to feel shame, embarrassment, and you can't pair bond and all of that. Right. So, all right. Um, thank you for the tip. Appreciate the great job you do as usual. My question earlier was just related to how does that dating app impact a person's ability to pair bond and how can we deal with that? Right.

[43:29] The Ratio on Dating Apps

[43:29] Right. It's a good question. That's a good question. The ratio of men to women on dating apps is 7 to 1. Do you remember this website, Ashley Madison? We're going to have an affair. Ashley Madison, what were there, 20 million men on that? There were 20 million men looking for affairs?

[43:54] Didn't they get hacked or something? Do you know how many women there were on the Ashley Madison app? Did you see that? Did you see? 20 million men and there were 2,400 women.

[44:11] That weren't like some guys from India with a stolen picture. I mean, there were 2,400 women and 20 million men. Excellent. Excellent. Good job, everybody. Well played.

[44:26] Well played. Well played. Yeah, no, it's fantastic. I mean, there was a Simpsons, right? There used to be these party lines, you know, this is like way back in the day, if you were watching some late night TV, you know, for the foreign movie content quality. That's it, man. That's the only reason you'd watch late night TV, city TV, the baby blues. Don't even know what that means. But there'd be these calls. Are you free tonight? And that these women in negligees with some cheesy backdrop, like I'm one to talk and. We're just sitting here talking he he he you know and you know the girls would all be twisting the phone line and you know licking their noses and you know all the usual low rent trashy seductive nonsense and anyway the simpsons made fun of this you know these guys were all paying three dollars a minute for the party line and they all hello hello hello hello are there any women here you know there's no women here right you had a friend in high school who prank called those numbers Uh, that's pretty pricey, right? That's pretty pricey.

[45:42] Uh, I am married, but I just think all this fuss about compatibility is mostly just finding happy people. Happy people will find a way to overcome differences while unhappy people will find ways to fight no matter how similar they are. Yeah, but you're saying happy, like, you know, just be healthy. And it's like, yeah, but there's quite a lot that goes into being healthy and there's quite a lot that goes into being happy. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I mean, the ratio of males to females, while it's approaching that in Canada with all the male immigrants, but the ratios of males to females on these kinds of places, including the dating apps, is like, you know, some blonde woman, busty blonde woman in a bikini walking around in Pakistan with a train of curious men. Yeah, that was crazy. It was just crazy. Oh, yes. I know, and I did a show many years ago with a guy who was, I think, being catfished by, you know, the Eastern European woman who was like, you know, I need money for my passport so I can come and see you. Oh, my mom's sick and I can't leave her and blah, blah, blah. Right? Just siphoning off money.

[46:55] All right. So, like, sorry, if you want to meet women, you're going to have to talk to them. You're just going to have to talk to women. And you're going to have to show no fear. It's just the way it is. You know, they always say this with dogs, like you're a little kid, then some big great Dane comes up that looks like it could chew its way through half of Genghis Khan's army before being brought down by a ballista. And i'll say well he senses fear it's like he senses right yes he senses fear and i'm you know does he smell urine because i just peed myself and three people next to me at the same time and some guy on the other side of the street so.

[47:45] Don't show any fear it's just the way it is it's just the way it is you have to be confident you have to be calm you have to be positive you have to be friendly while shitting bricks on the inside Sorry, I could say I wish it was different, but you know why women need to know that you can feel fear but overcome it. First of all, it's a compliment to her. If you don't care, like there was a friend of my cousin's in England would go to the bar and he would just go up to women and take their drink from their hand, put it down, says, give me a love you pulled. Pulled means like I'm going to take you home and have sex with you. And he says like nine times out of 10, you get a slap in the face, but the 10th woman would go with him. Right.

[48:28] Your psychic hotline, I'm going to need your visa. I'm pretty sure you don't, if it's legit. So a woman, if you're nervous to go up to her, but you show no fear, she senses that you care and you have a mastery of fear. Now, if you have a mastery of fear, you can compete and achieve in the world. It's a test to find out if you'll be a good provider. Can you overcome your fear? Can you feel the fear, which means you care, You have the capacity for empathy and you care, right? So can you feel fear and overcome it? That's why women like it when you're nervous, but overcome it. And she can't even really sense it, but she knows it's in there somewhere. It shows self-mastery. A woman needs a man with self-mastery because otherwise he's going to end up sleeping around on her, right? You need self-mastery. A woman is looking for self-mastery in a man.

[49:18] Overcoming Nervousness

[49:19] Can he restrain his impulses? Can he overcome his fears, his anxieties? Does he have them in the first place? which means he's not a sociopath because then he can't pair bond. So she needs to know that you have emotions so you can pair bond and she needs to know that you can master those emotions so you can compete and win.

[49:36] I'm a gay male and talk about difficulties dating and finding a partner. Gay men don't think about the future, at least not well. Well, don't get me into Keynesianism. So, yes, gay culture as a whole, and it's different in different places, But by and large, it's highly promiscuous and no pair bonding.

[50:06] I don't get the spaghetti reference. Maybe that's lose yourself? All right. Thanks a lot for the previous answers. One last question. Can you tell me, what's your definition of material and immaterial? I always thought of material as the things that are scarce, thus things we need property rights for. Immaterial as that which is not scarce, nor physical or empirical. So I imagined that rights would be considered immaterial and not empirically verifiable, and it surprises me that you do not consider them material. That's a lot. That's a lot for five bucks. That's a lot for five bucks. Try getting a lawyer to answer your question and give him five bucks. He'd be like, the answer to your question is sorry. Out of money. Uh, let's see here.

[51:05] Uh, my question earlier was just related to how does that dating app impact a person's ability to pair bond and how can we deal with that? Yes. So the dating apps are continually dangling something better, right? So if, if you want to understand what it's like to be a pretty woman, a young pretty woman in particular, than as a man, you imagine that about 50 times a day, you get a job offer.

[51:40] About 50 times a day, you get a job offer, right? And people are promising you the moon and the stars. How difficult is it to commit to your job if you're continually getting job offers, bing, new job offer, bing, new job offer. We're going to fly you out. We're going to put you up at the Ritz. We're going to give you tickets to the Rockettes. We might even package and give you a Rockette herself. If you are bing, constantly getting notifications of really wild job offers that are entirely crafted to be as appealing to you as possible. People are sending you photos of, here's going to be your first paycheck. check. It's going to be $10,000 for a week. We just need to write your name in and sign it. And there you go. Right?

[52:36] It's really tough to commit to your job as a man. If you're continually getting job offers, job offers, job offers, we'll pay you. We'll, we'll pay your moving expenses. We'll triple your bonuses, whatever you've got right now. We're going to double it, right? Yeah. Come Come to Dubai and make $300,000 a year. Ah, yes. Toilet. Are you going to be really committed to your job? If you bing, bing, bing 50 times a day. New job offers with amazing money. I was meaning to go to this little shop and approach this girl who works there last week, but fear stopped me on the way there. Planning on overcoming the fear this week. If not, I will move on from it. Would you like to know how to approach a woman that you get to see more than once in public? Let's say it's someone, as you say, there's a little shop and there's a girl who works there. Would you like to know how to do it? Would that be helpful to you?

[53:54] I would like to know if that would be useful to you. And I can tell you how to overcome your fear.

[54:12] If that would be helpful.

[54:15] Approaching a Woman in Public

[54:15] And useful and interesting. Yes, please. I spoke to her last time, but want to make my direct interest shown. Too bad I learned how to pick up women only when I got too old and married to do so. I know so many tricks now. It's no tricks. Whatever you get with a trick, you can lose with a flick of the wrist. Whatever you trick your way into, someone else can trick your way out of it. So you want to keep chatting with her until you don't feel terrified to ask her out.

[54:54] Right? So if you're still too nervous to ask her out, it's because you haven't established enough compatibility yet. So you need to be in a situation of evaluation. Right? Especially just reading, you know, and I've quoted some of these stats, though I've never quoted, I think, one quite that extreme. where they say 17 women reproduce for every one man. That's not really the case. So what you want to do is approaching a cashier is nerve-wracking for sure. Yeah, because you're in a line, right? And she's got people to see and people that want to get their bills paid and so on, right? And, you know, it's a public spectacle and so on. So you chat and you just, you chat and you go back. You go back and you chat again. And maybe you can chat instead of for 30 seconds for a minute and you just, you just chat again and you see when you come in, does her face light up? Does she move towards you? Uh, does she seem happy that you're there? So you go back until you have a fairly reasonable degree of certainty that she likes you, and then you just say, Hey, when'd you get off work? I'd love to grab. I would love this conversations. I really enjoying these conversations. Uh, I'd really like to grab a coffee with you. Right?

[56:14] You didn't mean guile tricks. I mean, meant things that work. Well, but what works is directness, right? Everything you get with indirectness, you'll lose to distraction, right? I mean, you are direct with people and then the people who stick around appreciate and enjoy directness. If you kind of trick or neg or whatever it is your way into, then you're just setting the foundation of the relationship to not be honest. Honesty. To not be honesty. Right? Just be honest. Yeah, I'm really enjoying the conversation. Love to grab a coffee. If you're interested. If you're not, no problem. If you're dating, whatever. But, you know, just, I'd really like to continue the conversation. I've really enjoyed our chats. And if you want to get a coffee, great. Let me know. Thanks, David. I appreciate le tip. Le tip. Le tip. What is it that the leper said to the prostitute? I left a tip. Anyway. Vile, but vaguely funny. So yeah, just keep going back until you're more comfortable.

[57:23] So, I mean, you don't want to go and when there's not a, you, sorry, a woman wants to know that you can read social cues because she's going to need to introduce you to her family and her friends. She needs to know that you can read social cues. Also, social cues are pretty elemental for success, right?

[57:44] Subtle Approaches and Refined Interactions

[57:45] Yeah so if i mean if you want to um uh you want to pick out you you want to see if you can get the you know the cashier at the grocery store then you just have several friends load up a cart with, extra extra extra large condoms and then you wheel that cart with your friends holding up the giant condom and you say um do you have anything larger because i certainly do anyway Anyway, so something like that. Obviously subtle and refined. Something wonderful like that.

[58:23] Very subtle. Very subtle. Eggplants, yes. But that would mean you'd have to touch an eggplant, which is horrendous. I did a call-in show last night with a guy who just got out of prison. That was something and a half. Holy crap. That was something and a half. All right. But it's all about persistence. People give up after they plant the seed of the technique. They think it's over, but actually a rejection can often lead to her changing her mind after she thinks about it for a while and you don't fold. Ah, persistence. I don't know, man. If she doesn't know herself well enough to know whether she's attracted to you, you're probably entering a bit of a maze that's going to be hard to, uh... I'm Jake the Peg, diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle, with an extra leg. Some spoilers on the prison call-in? Oof, man, uh, maybe, uh, not tonight. Not today, Zurg. Uh, somebody says, I've been an atheist since childhood, unable to accept fantastical teachings. Despite seeing value in Christian morals, I can't get myself to believe in a god or attend church. How can I raise my daughter in a community with good values without imposing beliefs I don't hold?

[59:41] Well, I think you have to find people who share your values, and yeah, stalkers are very persistent, yeah, yeah. I think changing a rejection into a yes is pretty impossible. Yes, I think so, and I do think that there needs to be that sort of special connection the first night that my wife and i accidentally went out together we were supposed to go out with the whole volleyball team but everyone had to cancel and we just went out and it was just an unbelievably fantastic conversation like witty deep funny i just like felt like my fingertips had electricity running through them on the way home and that's a pretty hard thing to reverse and uh you know i mean marriage is a lifelong conversation and uh it's was fantastic to begin with and it just keeps getting better and better. So.

[1:00:32] All right. Yeah, if she changes her mind, you know, the thing about people, if it's easy to change their mind, it's easy to change it back or it's easy for someone else to change their mind and so on, right? So, just be honest and look for virtue. Be honest and look for virtue. That's all I can tell you.

[1:00:55] Avoiding Relationship Games

[1:00:55] Be honest and look for virtue. I mean, the one thing that has never happened with my wife and I, we've never played games. We've never, ever, ever, ever, ever played games. You know, I remember, I don't know, I was in high school and I was dating this girl and I was over at her place, we were in her basement, and we were watching some, gosh, if anybody ever finds it, let me know. It was some show where a young guy gets cast back in time to King Arthur's court and, you know, it's a usual thing. He comes, he gets all the way back into the future. sure he's got the scarf of the woman he loves back in king arthur's time or medieval times and he goes back to the present and he wakes up and it was all a dream but look he's holding the scarf and what does that mean was it real was you know the usual thing anyway so i just remember this this girl was like um pretending that she found she was pretending she found the lead actor were very handsome.

[1:01:51] I mean, it was kind of like a little gamey play thing and like, eh. Okay, so you find the guy handsome. What am I supposed to do? Beat him up? I mean, it's just like, I just, I don't do games. I don't do games. I don't do this, well, I don't want to message too soon. He's got to want it. It's like, oh no, no, no, no. Everybody who plays games is saying I have to trick you into liking me, which means that they believe that they're fundamentally unlikable, which means that the relationship will never be stable. I agree with what you say but would you say it would be worse to try and do it in one shot like if i just shoot my shot this week instead of continuing to go back multiple times after i was thinking i'd look for her cues and if they're there i'll just go for it this one time, well you know whatever is the most honest and authentic thing that you can do if you don't know if she is interested in you it may be a bit premature and it's very important in a new relationship, to not be premature. What was it? There's that old joke. This woman said I was the worst guy in bed she'd ever been with. And I'm like, she can't make that judgment in 32 seconds. That's way too quick. Anyway.

[1:03:17] Yeah, fickle people are hard to be around, and game players are exhausting. A Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Now, that's the Mark Twain thing. It could have been an adaptation. This would have been in the the early 80s, I guess.

[1:03:32] I don't think it's being fickle. This is a long-term process, and women want to put you through a lot of tests. They aren't going to know your character in just a few meetings. It takes time and trials. My wife never put me through any tests. Because virtue is clear to the virtuous, right? I knew she was a virtuous woman, and a great woman, and a smart woman, and a wise woman, and that's been the case and it continues to be the case and I also knew she'd be a great mom and she knew I'd be a great dad and she knew I was a good and reasonably wise person and so what test does there need to be, right? I don't want to get too personal, but are you a virgin? I don't want to get too personal, but at the time you met your wife, what was the oldest age you would have pursued to give the sister to have a family? Mid-30s, mid-30s, something like that. If you want something, why risk it getting away from you for the sakes on some tests? I'm not sure what that means. Sorry. sorry uh okay so i appreciate the tips thank you guys so much and i want to make sure that this isn't sounds like almost like i'm gonna end right but no so uh let's go back to.

[1:04:53] A desire not sister yeah i uh i don't know that i want a sister wife to have a family with in fact i'm fairly sure that i don't um can you tell me my definition of material and immaterial So, of course, material witness, it's immaterial to me. Material means relevant and immaterial means irrelevant, and maybe that's what you have. Material is not things that are scarce. Material simply means made of substance. Immaterial means it's not made of substance, right? So human rights exist as ideas in the mind. They don't exist as things in reality. Human properties, human beings are subject to gravity. Human beings have brains. Human beings have muscles and organs. They run on electricity and food. And water. So human beings have properties, but we don't have rights. They don't exist in a material sense. Certainly they don't exist in a way that a tree exists, like something out there that's material. So material is substance, matter, and energy. And in general, I tend more towards thinking of material as matter, not just energy, right? So light, I don't think of light as material. I guess it's a light material, but you know what I mean, right? Um, and, and, and.

[1:06:03] So, material is atoms. Material is matter. Energy a little bit, but I generally think of it as matter. Rights would be considered immaterial and not empirically verifiable. Surprises me that you do consider them material. So, again, ideas in the mind exist as structures in the brain. I mean, you know the phrase. I've changed my mind. Like, that's a real thing. you've actually changed your brain you have changed the configuration of neurons in your mind so yes you do change your brain absolutely and so not so rights empirically verifiable ah that's tricky so if people are respecting property rights and not stealing from each other then their respect for property rights is empirically verifiable because they're not stealing from each other, right? If somebody respects a contract and fulfills his obligations in the contract, it's empirically verifiable that he respects the contract.

[1:07:08] By the fruits shall you know them, right? By their actions shall you know them. So if a man respects a woman's autonomy, then he will not impose himself physically upon her, right? And so you can measure empirically respect for rights. And we know this, of course. So you can see in societies where property rights are more respected, there's more economic growth, and there's empirical measures to these kinds of things. So I hope that helps. Is the state immaterial? The state exists as an idea in the mind. It does not exist as an entity in the world. And of course, there are ideas in the mind that do not exist in the world, right? So ghosts, we have the idea in our mind, but it does not exist in the world. We can think of a square circle as a definition, but it neither exists in our mind because we can't picture it, neither does it exist in the world because it's a self-contradictory entity. You know, dragons, unicorns, and so on. They may exist somewhere in the universe, but they don't exist in any place that we know of. So the state is a state of mind, but it does not exist in the material sense. And there are ideas in the mind that correspond accurately to things in reality, and the state is not one of those things.

[1:08:34] Finding Love and Authenticity

[1:08:34] Uh, let's see here. Finding a woman is a skill and like juggling, you really can't teach it much. You just have to do it and learn. Hmm. You don't just want to find women. You want to find a woman who's compatible. And how do you find a woman who's compatible? You don't fake who you are. Because if you fake who you are, you will only get two kinds of people. The kinds of people who know you're faking and prefer it, which is really dangerous, or the people who don't even know you're faking because they're clueless, which may not be quite as dangerous, but will be even more exhausting. So be yourself and see who likes it. Honestly, I can't, I mean, this is what I've modeled, I think, to some degree over the whole course of this show. Be yourself and see who likes it. Be honestly, openly, exuberantly, directly yourself, like don't be yourself and hide in a corner. Be yourself and see who likes it. and there'll be lots of people who try to have you not be yourself because they're competing with fakery like if you're direct and honest there'll be people out there who will try to make you feel ashamed or bad for just being yourself right that was a very fantastic answer the state means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

[1:09:47] The state the state the concept of the state is a word we use to hide the violence that we want, want right because saying violence is pretty obvious and not good right so the state is the word that we use when we don't want to use the word violence when we want to deploy violence and get the unearned we don't want to say violence so we say the state right because it's, it's more civilized right and lord knows we'd want all our violence to be civilized right.

[1:10:25] Be yourself, no matter what they say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he's pretty horrible as a person. I know too much. I know too much. I know someone who dated one of his kids. I know too much. All right. Or knew someone, I guess, back in the day. But yeah, definitely a good singer and a good songwriter.

[1:10:58] The Concept of the State

[1:10:58] And hard-working guy for sure, all right did i get uh i got those questions i can close that down did i have any other questions, that i am listening of i may not do a full show tonight just because i did like a long uh interview uh this morning and i processed a bunch of shows i did a show this afternoon dune uh about uh what women want and what men want and i'm doing a show tonight so all right, uh but if you have more comments and questions i'm certainly happy to listen and and answer as as i best i can and i will send the um defpot ai to people tonight for sure.

[1:11:55] Deciphering "Take it Slow"

[1:11:56] So what does it mean when a girl says take it slow i'm of the mind that it means i want to let you sit on the back burner while i go whatever i was doing before so take it slow, rant on lauren southern i selfishly want to hear it i'm afraid that um also i know too much so i I can't. What does it mean when a girl says, take it slow? So if a girl says, take it slow, there could be a couple of things. She might have a bunch of irons in the fire, so to speak. But it can also mean that she wants to make sure you're not just there for sex. Let us find out if we like each other. Let us find out if we have value compatibility. Like, if you're just here for sex, because that's the great fear. The great fear for women is you're just there for sex, and you're just going to lie to them to get what you want and leave them feeling used and embittered. There is almost no emptier or more worthless feeling for women than, having been used for sex through a kind of deception. You have some guy complaining about his question not being answered on Rumble. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. My apologies. My apologies. All right.

[1:13:14] Still the best Canadian streamer out there. All hail Stefan Molyneux. Well, thank you. I'm not sure how much competition there is, but I appreciate that. I appreciate that. How's biz? Steph needs to get back on YouTube. Well, be sure to tell them that. Just jumped in. Sorry. Can the human mind comprehend five dimensions? I have written to you about this with a $50 donation, but no reply. You'll have to tell me what those dimensions are. I don't know.

[1:13:45] I don't know, this shit sounds very complex and autistic. Chad just blinks and wins her over. Okay, absolutely, super handsome guys, yes, they can get girls. But they can't feel love, necessarily, right? So you think that's great or whatever, right? Just be honest and call me a moron if you will, but I offered something new, actually. I donate, write, nothing. No replic. Now you know why donations are scarce? us goodnight and that's not being a beta the contrary yeah i don't recall, oh i maybe he's gone but i don't recall seeing a message about five dimensions but, i will tell you uh that's not, that's not the way to get people to do what you want i mean it's a good object lesson right So if you say, can the human mind comprehend five dimensions? I'm going to just have a look, a search, a quick search here and just see. I don't know if it's the same. I assume it's got something to do with this.

[1:14:55] But it's a good object lesson on how to get people to do what you want. Ah, okay. I did find something from a couple of months ago. All right. So let's answer this. This is from March 27th, so two months ago. Okay. Let's see here. A fifth dimension the human brain can understand. stand. Hello, Steph. Greetings. You are great. I have donated in clump 50 bucks a while ago, and I think that's my OM regarding donations right now. My OM.

[1:15:38] Operating maximum? I don't know. Better do it heavy every once in a while than figure out the nuts and bolts of subscriptions and such. I know it's laziness on my part. Anywho, I wrote a philosophical paper when I was a student, master's degree at one of the world's most renowned technical universities, where I tried to explore the boundaries of the human mind when it came to dimensions. There are the obvious four, x, y, z in time, but my paper was about a fifth dimension that the human mind can actually understand. Having studied a lot of complex physics and mathematics, I know that the universe probably has 20 or more dimensions, but those are only proven mathematically. The human mind cannot understand it. Human brain cannot understand it. So my additional thesis, as it were, in about 2003, was that I think I have found a fifth dimension that the human brain can comprehend. Unfortunately, my paper was written in a non-English language, and I will only happily translate it to English if you think it would be worthwhile to read or even better, discuss. Love what you do, love your show, so and so.

[1:16:47] That's the only message I've got. Yeah, I mean, I could have responded to that. That came not directly to me, but to the port person. But yeah, probably not something I would in particular respond to. So something that you wrote 22 years ago.

[1:17:11] So, yeah, something that you wrote 22 years ago that you haven't done anything with, right? So if you had been able to prove a fifth dimension that the human mind can comprehend, that would have been a remarkable achievement, and you've had 22 years, and what have you done? I'm not telling you whether you're right or wrong, I don't know. I'm just telling you how I evaluate these things. First of all, you donate because of the show. You don't buy my time. Right? I don't take paid, you know, here, I donated to your show, So now you have to read my highly complex, and I assume mathematically complex, technical paper about five dimensions. That's not how it works. That's not how it works. Right? I mean, if you drop 20 bucks into the Salvation Army guy, you don't, like the Santa Claus, right, on the street corner, Salvation Army guy, you drop 20 bucks in, you don't get them to say, hey, Santa, wash my car, because I donated 20 bucks. All right? So you donate for the show as a whole, and I appreciate that, and I really do thank you for doing that. But the idea that you've donated, so now I owe you complex labor, I just don't think you understand what it means to donate, which is to support the show as it is, as you have consumed. So you've listened to a whole bunch of my shows, and you've donated $50. Really appreciate it.

[1:18:40] But why, why would the 50 bucks be, Hey, I've taken a whole bunch of your shows. I've consumed a whole bunch, you know, maybe a hundred shows, 200 shows, whatever it is, right. Enough to say that I'm great and appreciate me, which I like. It's nice. But so you've consumed a whole bunch of shows and you know, I suggest 50 cents a show, right? So if you've consumed a hundred shows, that's 50 bucks. Now you can spend 50 bucks going to see a movie, but instead you get, you know, a hundred shows could be 200 hours or so of highly high quality philosophy 50 cents a show completely reasonable in my view and the price hasn't gone up for quite some time so maybe it should be 75 cents now or something like that but you know 50 cents a show is sort of my suggested donation amount so you've listened to 100 shows you've donated 50 bucks and now i'm supposed to read a highly technical mathematical paper first of all i have no capacity or ability to evaluate a technical mathematical paper. You say, oh, but it's not a technical mathematical paper, but you say it is technical. And also, if you haven't done anything with your idea, if you don't care enough about your idea to have done anything with it, why would I care? And that's an important question, right? I obviously care about philosophy and the philosophy in the way that I approach it, so I put a lot of time, effort, and energy and work into doing shows and talking to people and all of that, right?

[1:20:07] So if I say you should really listen to my show, I poured heart and soul into it. You know, I've got some great documentaries and so on. And, you know, I work really hard on these books. And so you should, you know, okay, at least I've done something with my ideas. But now you've been sitting on this revolutionary idea in math, physics, and human experience for 22 years. You haven't even bothered to translate it.

[1:20:29] So you don't particularly care about it. And I, I can't judge the idea. Idea I can only judge I can't judge your idea I can only judge your judgment of your idea and your judgment of your idea is you're gonna like you've you sent me a very badly typed misspelled confusing email about something I don't understand saying that it's highly technical it's you you right and so you don't care enough to get the email right you don't care enough to do anything thing with your idea that you had 22 years ago and you then say i tossed 50 bucks at you you owe me labor like bro can i send my paper on the fifth dimension translated to english for free and you would read it uh no no how am i supposed to evaluate a mathematical proof of of of the fifth dimension. No, no, you can, you can link it in the chat if you want, but, um, I assume, I assume also it's a long paper, but why wouldn't you get it published in a scientific journal? I mean, that's what I wouldn't understand. Like, why wouldn't you all publish it publicly and send a, like, why would you send it to me? Why would you send it to me? I'm not a physicist. I'm not a mathematician. I can't evaluate these things.

[1:21:53] So, and, you know, this entitlement, right? So let's just go through your messages. And I say this not to be mean. I say this because I do want you to get what you want. And what you're doing now is not getting what you want. Okay. So, um, I have written to you about this with a 50 bucks donation, but no reply. Okay. I don't owe you a reply. No, nobody owes me a reply. But you know, the number of people I've emailed over the years who've never replied to me. Right. So you have this expectation that because you've donated to the show, I owe you a reply. That's called being entitled. I don't owe you a reply, right? Nobody owes me a reply. Nobody owes you anything. So you have this expectation that I'm going to do free labor for you, right? Because the 50 bucks is for the shows that you've consumed. So you're asking me to do free labor, right? Right. And then you send me this badly typed, hard to read email.

[1:22:54] I don't want to, to read you. I mean, why would I? Right. But what are the odds that you have solved some giant problem in the universe? Right. 22 years ago and nobody's ever heard about it. Right. So then he says, just be honest and call me a moron if you will. But I offered something new actually. Okay. Well, so now you're getting obviously kind of aggressive. I donate, I write nothing, no reply. lie. Yeah. Good night. Now, you know why donations are scarce. Good night. Right. And so you're now saying that donations are down because I haven't replied to you from a badly typed, badly spelled email you sent me a couple of months ago.

[1:23:39] So the question is, and this is a very interesting question, right? It was too short. The philosophical papers in my country found it too short. Yeah, you can post it. You can post it, You can post it, right?

[1:24:00] As a differing perspective, somebody says, I subscribed for two years to his show and felt like I was getting far more than I gave and was grateful. full. I will again subscribe when I have a job. Well, good for you. I appreciate that and best of luck finding a job. Not just for me, but you know. Okay, let's just see. Yeah, 50 cents a show was like 15 years ago. Yeah, I'm at four bucks now, right? Fifth dimension stuff sounds like super string theory. Government employees make work BS. Yeah, yeah. Definitely planning on doing a large donation at some point. Thank you. For sure. Not just for what this show has helped me with, but but also to continue to support the free domain operation. I look at it the same way someone would donate to a charity slash mission they really believe in. I trust Steph's advice and ideas to somebody else because they challenge me to think, and I learn every relationship in my life has been better because of this show. Well, thank you. This paper sounds very interesting, but it's science and math, not philosophy, right? I mean, I'm a, send it to a mathematician. Like, why would you send it to me? But here's the thing, right? So, you still love me, I appreciate that. So, but here's the thing. So I want you to get what you want. I do. I want you to get what you want, right? So how do you get someone, let's say you've got a paper, and let's say that you've written a paper that is something you want me to evaluate from a philosophical standpoint, right?

[1:25:25] Steph, is your motivation to do the show the same as it was when you started? No, no, no. When I started, I had much, much more hope. Oh, no, no. When I started, I thought we had a good shot of winning, which gave me a lot of energy and traction. Now it's about consolidation and gathering information for the next cycle of history. So yes, I definitely had a very different motivation when I first started. So if you want someone to read, let's say that it's a philosophical paper, right? You want someone to read a philosophical paper. I've done that before. I've done that before. So how could you, and I'm happy to get suggestions from the audience to help this person, right? Because I want this person to get, hey, Steph, I donated $5 last show. Now you need to do my laundry. I'll do your undies. So what are some suggestions? Let's say that he's written a dense philosophical paper and he wants me to read it. What can he do? How can he get me, or anyone, really it's not about me, how can he get me to read his paper? I mean, I have written, read papers before that people have sent to me, right?

[1:26:43] So, what would people say? What would you say is a good way? Yeah, show Steph how the paper would benefit him and the info would be useful, absolutely, or how it would benefit my audience. So consolidation, meaning the ICBM on the core of the entire system being peaceful parenting, I'm still worried of getting through it, but I will at some point. Okay, sorry, I'm not quite sure I get that. So yeah, how does it benefit me, philosophy or the audience, right? Here's a problem you've been trying to solve, Steph. I think I have a solution. You know, if you take a look at this, I think it would be really helpful to you. How does it benefit me? I understand, of course, that me reading your paper would be a benefit to you, but you can also give me a summary argument. You can also say, so-and-so has read this and has very positive feedback. Here's a review from so-and-so. Here's what my professor said, and so on. Just give me some credibility. You know, if English isn't your first language and you're asking me for a big favor to look at something dense and philosophical, make sure that you get somebody who speaks English to give it a read-through to make sure that I'm not going to be communicating with somebody who's bad at communicating in English. And don't blame me for that if it's not your first language, but that's another way that you can get people to do what you want. But here's the thing. Just because you want something from someone does not in any way, shape, or form translate into that person having to do it.

[1:28:10] Right and if you think that you won't get what you want in life the fact that i want a philosophy show and wanted a philosophy show for years and years and years before i started the fact that i wanted a philosophy show is no obligation for anyone to listen to it i have to make it interesting and engaging and worthwhile enough for people to want to listen does that make sense nobody owes me audience, nobody owes me, right? Right? I thanked the people who didn't come to the new platforms because it gave me the room to work on my novels and peaceful parenting and more personal conversations.

[1:28:45] Yeah, testimonial, sales 101, and yes, how does it benefit? Yeah, make a business case and ask nicely. So if you want to get what you want in life, you want to make sure that you're not exploiting people. In other words, it has to be a benefit to them. So how does this, in the email that you sent me, right? In the email that you sent me, how does it benefit me? If I translate my philosophy paper to English, will you read it? How can I argue that the human mind can conceive of five dimensions instead of only four? See, I'm sorry, I mean, maybe this is not translating in your mind. If I translate my philosophy paper to English, will you read it? Why should I? Why should I?

[1:29:28] Because the time that I spend reading your philosophy paper is time away from my family. It's time away from my friends. It's time away from playing racquet sports. It's time away from the gym. It's time away from doing shows. So why should I see? I already see, here's the thing in life. You're already competing with stuff that works for people, right? So I have a kind of schedule for the day, right? I woke up this morning, had a coffee, chatted with my family, and then I sat down to do my, my interview. And then I worked to process the interview to get a transcription of the interview. And then I set up something to, um, uh, to, to, uh, spread the interview for donors and the transcription and so on. Cause I thought it was kind of exciting that we have this new, uh, a new interview first time really in four years. And then, um, I dropped my daughter off at a party she was going to, and then I came home and I chatted with my wife and I had to do some work around the house. and then I lay down. I had to, I lay down for about half an hour. I just needed to recharge a little bit before the show and then I do the show. So my day, my day is very busy and your days are busy. Everyone's days are busy. So you're asking me to take a section of my day and give it to you. Now why? Why would I? Right?

[1:30:56] You say it's a, it's a one page paper. So you've been holding on to a proof, a one-page paper proof for the fifth dimension that the human mind can experience. You've been holding on to a one-page proof of the fifth dimension for 22 years.

[1:31:17] I mean, come on, try, try, try to look at yourself from the outside in. I'm not trying to ask you to dissociate, but try to look at yourself from the outside. So when I wrote UPB, the first thing I said was the odds of me having pulled this off are so tiny. It's ridiculous. I completely understand why you'd be skeptical. I don't have a PhD in philosophy from a Ivy league university. I'm not a well-respected published author in the field of philosophy. I'm a guy, I did some graduate degree work in philosophy and I've been a software entrepreneur. And I'm running my own philosophy show. So the odds that I've done it, that I've pulled off the Holy Grail, I've discovered the Holy Grail of philosophy, rational proof of secular ethics, it's very tiny, because I need to look outside myself and say, what credibility do I have? Well, not much. Not much. So you have to look outside yourself and say, what can I do to gain credibility? Now, you don't want to gain credibility, which means you may be in the fifth dimension, but I'm not sure you're the other four. So you have to work to gain credibility, right? So I didn't start with asking the big names to come on my show. I started with smaller names, and I worked my way up. You work your way up, the latter. I start with so-and-so, and then I say, oh, this guy knows this guy, so if I say this guy's been on my show, he's more likely. And then you just work your way up, and then you get to the top acts. And then I ended up on Joe Rogan a couple of times, but not in the fun way that I was hoping.

[1:32:39] So you work your way up. You gain credibility. You don't just, you know, hey, Joe Rogan, you've got to have me on your show because I want to be a podcaster. You know, like you've got to, you got to work your way up and you've got to get your credibility.

[1:32:50] Seeking Credibility and Action

[1:32:51] So you don't have credibility to me because if you've got a one page proof of the fifth dimension, why haven't you, for 22 years you've been sitting on this, why haven't you done anything with it? I mean, I'm just, I'm not saying, I'm not saying you're a bad guy or anything. I'm just telling you what people think. I discovered the last dimension that the human mind can comprehend.

[1:33:15] Why not send it to me in that dimension? Now, that would be impressive, man. If you send it to me psychically and I get it, that would be pretty cool. But honestly, and look, you guys can tell me, right? You guys can tell me. One of the odds that a listener of mine who's not good with English, who's not emotionally mature because he's kind of rage quitting and this is why your donations are down, because apparently I don't service every whim of the listeners, other than doing shows and call-in shows and asking questions and live streams. So what are the odds that this guy has been sitting on a one-page proof of the fifth dimension for 22 years and he's done nothing with it and nobody knows about it and the staggering advancement in human consciousness and human science has just been sitting in his drawer for 22 years, right?

[1:34:14] I have to play the odds because we're mortal. So we can't apply our resources to everyone, right? Now, if you'd have said to me, listen, you don't know me from Adam, and I understand that I'm saying something kind of crazy here, but here's why you should believe me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? So I want you to get what you want. If you have a burning passion for this fifth dimension stuff, well, don't pay me, right? I mean, don't pay me, right? I don't do these kinds of paid things anyway. But what I would do if I were in your shoes is I would go to a mathematician at the local university and I would say, I'd love to hire you as a consultant for two hours. Now, he'd probably do it for a hundred bucks, right? Maybe 200 bucks or whatever, right? So, and you'd say, here's my paper. Tell me what's wrong with it. Please tell me.

[1:35:06] Tell me what's wrong with it. Tell me what can be improved. Now, if you have proven the fifth dimension, this guy is going to be like, holy crap, we've got to get this to a conference. We've got to get this published. This is the most incredible thing. This is as big as Einstein's theory of relativity. We've got to get it out there. This is like Darwinism levels of holy crap, right? So he's going to be all over, right? So why send it to somebody who can't evaluate it rather than someone who can. Again, these are all things I'm telling you what I think about, right? This is what I think about when I evaluate these kinds of things. And again, if you have this great idea, I want you to get the great idea out. Absolutely. So I'm telling you how to do it and, you know, bitching at me and getting mad at me because I didn't read your paper that you still had to get translated. How am I supposed to know whether it's worthwhile. All I can do, all I can do is figure out how important it is to you. He said, I submitted it to Philosophical Journal in Sweden, but they said it was a great idea, but it wasn't theoretically explained enough. I had a master's of science. Okay, fantastic.

[1:36:25] So then you need to fix that, right? So if you send it to a journal in Sweden, they say it's a great idea, wasn't theoretically explained enough, then you should explain it enough, right? I have you to attend to, so I dropped the topic. What? Oh, you had a master's of science to attend to, so I dropped the topic. Yeah, but this was 22 years ago. Come on. 21 years ago, 2003. Oh, it's 21 years ago. Are you saying over the last 21 years, you haven't had any time to flash out a one-page paper? Come on, man. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Like, I'm sorry you just don't have the people in your life to tell you these obvious things. And I'm not trying to be mean. I'm not trying to humiliate you. But if you're going to try and tell me that over the last 21 years, the most incredible idea you've ever had, that is so amazing and powerful that it could revolutionize human consciousness and they say, it's great. You just need to flesh it out theoretically. And you're like, yeah, but I, I, you know, I, I'm 21 years. I can't get around to that, but I'm going to, I'm going to give it to Steph, right? Come on. So the experts have said that it's not theoretically explained enough, but you want to send it to me. Who's and give it to the Philosophical Journal in Sweden.

[1:37:48] No way we're going to be alive 22 more years. You might want to check out your health habits if that's your genuine perception. So again, this is for people as a whole. If you want, I mean, I've been in sales and marketing for a lot of my adult life. And if you want people to do something, you have to make it a value to them. Otherwise, you're just exploiting them.

[1:38:13] All right. Any other last tips? Feedback, questions, comments? Somebody says, I wonder if this fifth dimension thing is a cope via discrediting you as a thinker in his own mind. That way he can hand wave away your moral conclusions. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I think he thinks, if I had to guess, I could be wrong, just based upon the emotional immaturity of like bitching at me and trying to hurt me because I didn't do what he wanted in a context that makes no sense for me. But yeah, So my guess would be that he thinks of himself as special because he has this great idea, and he doesn't want to put it to the test to find out if the great idea is actually true. So he's not giving it to experts to review so that he can continue to think that he has the greatest idea ever without actually putting it to a test, which is why he's not put it out there, why he's not revised it, and why he's sending it to me, who can't evaluate it, right? So I would assume that it's a vanity thing. I solve the problems of the universe. Okay, can you do something with it? No, because then I might find out I have not solved the problems of the universe, that kind of stuff. Again, I'm guessing, but it probably would be something like that. Like if somebody has a great book and doesn't publish it. Yeah, yeah. I think that's, I mean, the moment I took time off from politics, I immediately dove into reading my novel, Almost, and all of that.

[1:39:39] That's why I wanted to send it to you, because I procrastinate. I don't want anything for this idea because I procrastinate. Right.

[1:39:55] Well, I don't want anything for this idea, no. But why would you send it to me? I'm a philosopher, not a mathematician or physicist. So if it's around, right, fifth dimension, it can't be proved so logistically, I assume. So there has to be mathematical proof. Now, of course, if you're saying, but here's the thing too, if you're saying that the human mind can comprehend this dimension directly, then I guess it wouldn't have any mathematical proof. You would just show me how to, you would just show me how to access it directly, right? So, but, but you haven't, right? So if it has mathematical proof, then I don't see how we would access it directly. So, all right, let's get back to your last questions, comments, and problems. All right. I think we are done for the night. I really do appreciate everyone coming by tonight.

[1:40:40] Thank you so, so much. My friends, as my way of saying, thanks, I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you, I really am. I feel it. I feel it. Oh gosh, that's not it. Oh, there we go. I'm going to give you the lovely interview that I had with Lotus Eaters today with, with, um, I have it, Connor, Connor Tomlinson. That's not a name out of Famous Five, and I don't know what it is, but I'm going to give this to you so that you can enjoy this absolutely fantastic interview. I think it was a great interview. I'm also going to hand it over here on Rumble. I thank you for that.

[1:41:31] Steph, do you grind your teeth when you're thinking or just pissed off? I have to wear a mouth guard. I'm a bit of a tooth grinder at night because I'm chewing through deep intergalactic thoughts while I sleep just to make your lives better, my friends. Have a wonderful rest of the night. Lots of love from up here, my friends. I'll talk to you soon.

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