0:00 - Gentle Parenting Insights
2:51 - Listener Questions and Comments
12:12 - Current Events and Personal Reflections
13:08 - Exploring Parenting and Education
22:52 - Navigating Charity and Generosity
32:02 - Privacy and Future Considerations
35:53 - Community Dynamics and Relationships
45:53 - Self-Reflection and Personal Growth
In this episode, we delve into the concepts of gentle parenting and how it compares to traditional approaches, particularly when it comes to emotional and moral guidance for children. I explore various techniques that prioritize children's emotional states, such as responding to upset feelings with empathy—encouraging parents to say things like, "I see you're upset" instead of more directive commands. We also discuss the importance of active engagement during a child's emotional distress, replacing punitive measures like timeouts with more supportive methods, such as time-ins, where parents actively help their children process their feelings.
We navigate through the nuances of gentle parenting, emphasizing the shift from simply correcting behavior to fostering a deep understanding of emotions and relationships. This perspective encourages parents to replace labeling negative behaviors with constructive conversations that promote empathy and communication. For example, instead of declaring a child "naughty," a gentle parenting approach encourages parents to discuss the behavior and how it can be addressed differently in the future. These techniques aim to cultivate strong, trust-based relationships between parents and children while teaching self-regulation.
Contemplating the balance between emotional support and moral instruction, we draw upon personal anecdotes and societal observations, reflecting on how parenting strategies evolve in an age of diminishing societal trust. As we touch on various parenting methods, we also consider the broader implications of parenting styles in the context of contemporary society, including the influences of cultural changes and the impact of technology on family dynamics.
Throughout our discussion, I recount personal stories about my experiences with childhood memories, humorously highlighting my own struggles, like the embarrassment of bicycle mishaps while juggling life’s challenges as a student. We also tackle some current events and societal issues, bridging our discussions on parenting with reflections on our community values and expectations, touching on how societal pressures can influence parental choices.
The episode is rounded out by engaging in Q&A, addressing listeners’ thoughts and comments about the complexities of parenting in today's world. This conversation invites reflection on how we raise our children amidst changing societal landscapes while grappling with the timeless task of instilling both empathy and morality in the next generation.
[0:00] All right, here we are. Donor only, 23rd of August, 2024. Bring on, let the spice flow. All right, so this is the gentle parenting stuff. Instead of saying, stop crying, say, I see you're upset. Do you want to talk about what's bothering you, or would you like a hug? Instead of using timeouts as punishment, use time-ins where you sit with your child, help them calm down, and discuss their feelings. Instead of saying, because I said so, say, I want you to do this because it helps you safe, makes things fair, helps the family run smoothly. Okay. So it's empathetic, amoral stuff, right? It's just empathetic, amoral stuff. I'm going to get you to process your feelings as opposed to there's a right and wrong way to do things. There's a moral way to do things. There's an immoral way to do things. So, I mean, obviously sensitivity to your kid's feelings is very, very important, but it's not just about, well, your feelings are negative. And so we're going to talk about them until they're not negative. It's like, but not giving moral guidance. So perhaps you can tell me the moral guidance that's in the gentle parroting stuff, right?
[1:01] I remember back in the 2010s, says Joe, I could go to Chipotle and pick up my food from Iraq. Now they put all pickup food behind the counter because people were stealing the food. More symptoms of the decline of our high trust society. Oh yeah. Don't it all seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone. They paid paradise and put up a parking lot. Alright, instead of ignoring tantrums or scolding during a meltdown, get down to the level and say, I can see you're having a hard time, let's take some deep breaths together and figure out what you need. Instead of labeling your child naughty or bad, focus on the behavior and say, it wasn't okay to hit, next time use your words to tell me you're upset. Okay, it wasn't okay to hit, it's just substituting parental disapproval for moral guidance.
[1:42] Example three, instead of forcing a child to share immediately, encourage taking turns and explain, when you're done playing with that toy, your friend can have a turn. These examples focus on fostering understanding, teaching self-regulation, and building a strong trust-based relationship between the parent and the child. But parenting is about moral instruction. Parenting is about moral instruction. You don't want your children to behave in a certain way simply because you disapprove. That is just setting them up to be enslaved by the powers that be. The bicycle crash does sound extremely painful on the body as well as the pride. Well, it's funny because I biked home and only then was like, ooh, yeah, something bad here. Something bad here. But it was a good part of getting out of the relationship. P.S. I'm a different person than the one asking the question about genital parenting. Yes, that is a typo.
[2:52] All right.
[3:00] Let's get to your questions and comments. All right. I don't know, I'm not following this thread at all so I'm going to skim by it, Boomers are so awful they get two generations named for them yeah sad but true, You donated 30. Thank you. I appreciate that.
[3:39] Does Izzy plan to test for high school equivalency in the near future? It's slightly unknown. It's slightly unknown what is going to happen because she's 16 this winter. So she's got another year or so in high school. So we shall see. It is slightly unknown. What the story is regarding her long-term education. She was kind of adamantly anti-college for a while. The owner of Telegram got arrested yesterday in France for refusing to censor and provide backdoors to the app. Well, that's, of course, the cover story is always terrorism and pedophilia and human trafficking and so on, right? Because remember, the legal system is so anti-pedophilia and so anti-child sexual exploitation expectation that when they raided Jeffrey Epstein's apartment and got all of the videos, they just acted right on it. Oh, it's so sad.
[4:43] Somebody says, I'm finding lately my in-laws that are quite older are repeating themselves in stories with endless details, even after I mentioned that they have just mentioned said story. They keep talking and it can be very frustrating. Like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, I can predict what stories are in the pipeline. Ooh, you are touching on a raw dental nerve for me, my friend, which is repetition. I had a boss like that. I had a boss who'd tell the same stories over and over. And even when I said, yeah, you mentioned that, right? Just keeps going. Doesn't matter. It's a power play. Well, it could be that they're getting dementia. That's a sad possibility. And you need to look up Peter McCullough about all of that. But yeah, it is people who've given up on any kind of genuine and honest human connection. all they do is they just repeat themselves. And it's a train track. It's a train track.
[5:38] All right. So it's funny, you know, when it comes to getting older, I absolutely struggle and fight like a mad dying beast against repetition. Repetition is my boss battle final foe to try not to repeat. I mean, I've been doing this for like 18 years and to try and come up with new thoughts, new insights, new analogies, new stuff. And if I do repeat, I say, I've mentioned this before, because I don't want people to think I'm just on some dissociated train track, but repetition is my hell. Repetition is a complete hellscape for me. I can't stand it. I can't stand it because it's an NPC thing, right? It's an NPC thing. So the repetition is input-output. Well, I hear this, I say this story. I hear this, and you notice this when you have kids, because when you have kids, you get to tell all your stories for the first time, and then you forget whether you've told the story before. So now, of course, I'm at the state where I have to say to my daughter, stop me if I've told you this before, because I can't remember anymore. With my wife, I've just given up, that every time she hears a new story from me, she's like, what, really? That's new? I'm like, yeah, well, it's been almost a quarter century, and we've done everything together. It wasn't like we had these big, giant, separate lives, right? Yeah.
[7:03] So if you want to help your in-laws, I think you probably want to try and shake them out of this repetition and get them to think originally. Right. So I think one of the reasons why people end up getting kind of spaced out and dissociated other than sort of biological issues that are going on with their brains is they just wear out their brains by saying the same stuff over and over and over again. Input, output, input, output, input, output. It's not thinking. It's not alive. You got to keep your brain active. You've got to keep your brain moving. It is a muscle and you just don't want to wear it out, you know? You just don't want to wear it out by just doing the same path, the same tracks, the same bullshit, the same relationships, the same conversations, the same data, the same... You've got to keep it loosey-goosey, keep it moving, keep it spicy, keep it spicy. Exercise it. Take it in unusual directions. Challenge yourself. Read counter information. Lots of cool stuff. Just keep your brain pushing and active. The neurons are constantly forming. and keep them challenging. Keep it working. Don't let your brain ossify. Don't let... Sorry, don't let your brain become this like, you know, this track where no grass grows. It dies. It dies on repetition. It absolutely dies on repetition.
[8:16] I am reading the e-book of the future after listening to the audio book a couple of years ago, loving it as much as the first time. At the start of the book, it describes how the main family had a young child called Ruth who had died. It says they were finally over it when the father, David, makes the joke that the family is ruthless. I found this very jarring the first time I heard it, and it really stood out again reading it now. Yeah, I think about that from time to time. The purpose of that for me is to say that utopia is not perfect. That you had a family where somebody died.
[8:48] You had a family where somebody died. And this, of course, also makes why David freaks out so much about the abduction, right? So I wanted to point out that there was sorrow in David's life. Because when you have a hero like David, it's easy to say, well, he's a hero because he hasn't suffered. And I wanted there to be suffering so that the family had adversity to overcome.
[9:19] AI on morals, you're right the examples I provided focused primarily on emotional support, communication and problem solving rather than explicit moral instruction, in gentle parenting, moral instruction is typically integrated into the overall approach emphasizing teaching through example, empathy and discussion rather than direct commands or authoritative statements, still not answering the question, right? Important lesson I learned about bikes, trying to ride a bike while carrying a super big gulp is a bad idea, yes And I did actually, I used to have to bike home from a grocery store with massive amounts of groceries on my bike. And I remember that. I was in my 20s and I was doing my master's degree and I was biking back. I used to bike back along King Street. And in King Street, there's a lot of theaters or there used to be a lot of theaters. And there were like people dressed to the nines, you know, pulling up in limos and going to the theater. And I was like, here I am wobbling, living on 600 bucks a month. And I was like, you know, I got to make some money at some point in my life. It's terrible. So I remember that for sure. Let's see here.
[10:37] Hey, Stef, donated on FDR. Thank you. I'm curious to know what you think is driving some parents to accept hormone replacement therapy gender swapping for their own kids. Yeah, that's tough. That is very, very tough. That is very tough. The data seems to be that a lot of the children will outgrow a sort of tomboy phase or whatever it is. But i think and i also would be curious i don't know the answer to this and seems unlikely that people will really research this but i would be curious to know how many of the people who have gender identity challenges were sexually abused as children and uh whether there's a bit of a cover-up thing for all of that so i don't know i don't know i'm certainly no expert on this and And I find it a very difficult subject to work with just emotionally, for better or for worse. Rumble is banned in France too.
[11:31] I think this would be a good way to control Bitcoin, to jail the developers who go against what the government wants. No, that's not how Bitcoin works. I've been very impressed how little you repeat yourself, Stef. It's quite amazing. Well, I appreciate that. I wouldn't do it if it was repetition. I mean, this is why I used to listen to more alternative media people, but I just found the repetition was kind of grinding to me. I couldn't do it. And it's another reason why I got out of politics. I just felt I was a broken record.
[12:13] All right, Google Play Store wants me to delete Rumble video uploader as a harmful app. Nothing to do with them being a competitor to them tube for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. The conflict of interest in this kind of stuff, like all the media that was reporting on me, were reporting on a direct competitor who in many ways was doing far better than they were. I mean, I remember back in the day, trying to explain what I do to my daughter and saying, you know, here's a tweet that I made that has like 100,000 views. And here's a tweet from, you know, these sort of big media outlets that have like 20, 50, 100 views. And so they're mad, right? They're mad.
[13:00] All right, now's the time to ask your spicy questions, if you want.
[13:08] I already did a show this morning before the show and I just did an hour and a quarter here now too so I don't want to go back to the well too much in terms of my own creativity so if you have questions to stimulate fantastic we can make this a short yeah politics is always the same story pretty much it's repetition in a downward spiral so the problem with politics so back in the day, back in the day, politics was about bribery to a large degree, right? Vote for me and I'll cancel your student loan debt. Vote for me and I'll increase your social security payments. Vote for me and you'll get better protection from foreign competition of goods. Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me, and I'll give you stuff, right?
[14:01] So now politics, they're running out of bribe money, right? So what happens after the carrot is the stick, right? So politics has become to a large degree not about bribing your friends, but about punishing your enemies. So I could make arguments to compete with bribery, but when it turns into whack dissidents with a stick, that's not my scene right that's not a place where philosophy can live so you can compete with bribery.
[14:39] But you can't compete with the remnants of bribery and the stick right so there's an old story from a band that produced one of the worst songs ever called 2am or something like that oh it was called two princes the band was called two princes i actually saw them opening for the Rolling Stones, this band. Pocket Full of Kryptonite was their album. And so the story, the song Two Princes is one, two princes stand before you. That's what I said. Now, princes, princes who adore you. That's what I said. Now, one has diamonds in his pockets. The other one wants to sell you rockets or something like that. So marry him or marry me. I'm the one who loves you, baby. Can't you see? I ain't got no future or family tree, but I know what a prince and lover ought to be. So it's basically choose me because I'm a great a guy as opposed to just the guy who has money, right?
[15:32] Choose me because I'm the cool guy who knows how to love you. Basically, it's saying to a woman, you should follow your loin, not your practical sense, right? You should choose me. I know what a prince and lover ought to be, right? So wants to sell you rockets is like, I assume that's some analogy for sexual. So rockets also Also, Explosion, that's an orgasm, right? So the song is about, I'll give you great orgasms. The other guy can only provide for your children, right? And that's what women sort of face, right? That's what women face, right? And men too, right? Spin Doctors. Yeah, that's the name of the band. Thank you. This one, he's got a princely racket. That's what I said. now. Got some big seal upon his jacket. Ain't in his head now. You marry him, your father will condone you. How about that now? You marry me, your father will disown you. Right? That's a great, it's a pretty good song. And it's one of the few songs with scat. It's one of the few songs with scats in the modern world. So...
[16:50] How was I talking about that for? So, yeah, it'll come back to me. I got two last in the song. I got two. Yeah, yeah. Men have this too, right? I mean, is this woman going to be fun in bed or should I choose her because she is a, you know, the hot crazy matrix? Is she going to be a good mother for my children or is she just a sex object? It's right. So orgasms versus children, right? That's the R selected is orgasms, K selected is for children, right? Are for really good in bed, K for can she raise good children with a K. So, yeah, so with politics, so you can compete with a guy who's just got money, right? So you can compete, you can make a moral case for the rejection of benefits, but once people are attacked, fined, thrown in jail, whatever, then it's no longer a place where reason can hold sway, right? Reason can hold sway against the carrot, but not the stick, right? Which is why I was doing all these interviews and talking to people in Hong Kong during the protests against the communists. I was doing all of that. But then when the tanks came, I was like, yeah, I've got reason with that, right?
[18:16] These story repeaters are the types who get upset if someone questions in any regime narrative. They are NPCs. Yeah, you can see that the Democrats' trust in media has gone way up, and the Republicans and Independents... Independence has gone down, little Republicans has crashed.
[18:34] So, this is the old Socratic thing about democracy ain't gonna work because if somebody offers you candy rather than vegetables, people will want candy. People have fallen for the oldest scam in the book, which is they're trained on who to hate, and they feel like the good guys. Mexican food or Chinese food for lunch today? I don't really eat that much of either. Stef, have you heard of crowd health? It seems there's aspects that are similar to your concept of DROs, also the pro-Bitcoin. I have not heard of crowd health, but I appreciate the heads up. Yeah, Spin Doctors, they did a song called 2AM or something like that. Oh, God, it was just absolutely terrible. Not even a warm-up.
[19:23] This one said he wants to buy you rockets. Hanging in his head now. All right. Going once, going twice. Questions, comments, issues, challenges, problems. Sorry, I did a show last night and this morning, so it's totally fine. I'm sure I'd have some good questions, but I didn't sleep at all last night. Late in the middle, 7 a.m. or so my time with my mind going over a lot of things, so I'm absolutely exhausted. I can't at least express my gratitude for everything you do. Thanks again, Stef. Well, Zymph, I appreciate that. Can I give you a tip on this? Can I give you a tip on this? Can I give you a tip on this?
[20:04] Don't lie in bed. I think the best thing to do is you've got to get up. Get up and do something else. Read a book, do something low stimulus. But the problem is the more you lie in bed, the more you associate your bed with not sleeping, and that's not a good connection in your brain to have. So get up, maybe drink a glass of warm milk, but don't just lie in bed because bed has to be associated with sex and sleeping, and that's it. Sex and sleeping, and that's it. and if you start to associate your bed with not sleeping that's a bad combo in your brain so generally i think the best idea the best advice i've heard is get up and do something else but don't just lie there and try you know it's funny it's like a zen thing when you can't sleep, it's like a zen thing which is oh i can't get annoyed that i can't sleep you have to just like part of life part of a process as you get older it gets a little tougher and so on right so.
[21:01] All right what would be a great response to cashiers asking you to donate to a charity as you've already made a lot making a large purchase at their store a man sitting at a table with a banner that read care for kids asked me if i wanted to help some kids today, to which i unapologetically replied i am on my way home to help my own kids as we speak it feels It feels like panhandling just with well-dressed beggars. Well, there are places on the web you can go where charities are reviewed as to how efficient they are with donor funds.
[21:36] So I would say that I think charity is important. I think if you're doing well, it's important to help others. And I would say that if you want to do charity, do your research, right? There's sort of this impulse thing with people in a store or whatever. So, you know, for instance, when I'm in the grocery store, if there are these bags which go to needy families, I'll buy a couple of those and hand them over. In fact, what is it? I once bought 20 of them around Christmas, just because, you know, it seemed nice.
[22:11] So you can just say, I'm sorry, I do charity at home. We just say I do charity at home. I gave it the office is the old sort of line, right? Yeah, like I have a whole charity set up at home. I don't impulse charity. I don't really know you guys. No, no disrespect, but I have to do my research and all that. So I think that's fine. What are some objective criteria I can judge myself on to figure out if I am good husband material for a high quality woman? Well, it depends what you mean by high quality woman, and I'm sorry to ask for definitions or whatever it is. So good husband material for a high quality woman, virtuous, trustworthy, honest, direct, most bad habits, scrubbed or managed.
[22:53] You've resolved things with your history and you have high quality people in your life. Right. So you can't ask someone who's high quality to come into your life if you have low quality people in your life. I mean, you're asking Gordon Ramsay to join you at your shitty little truck stop. He's not going to do it. Where does Gordon Ramsay want to cook? He wants to cook at the place with the most refined palates who can afford his food and really appreciate the quality that he provides.
[23:25] Okay, I saw this. It's kind of jaw-dropping to me. This guy, he was, you know, screaming back at Gordon Ramsay in some cooking show. And he left and everyone's like, oh, he's going to be a total failure. And the guy who was screaming back at Gordon Ramsay and telling him to F off and all of that and stormed off, he ended up, he's doing very well as a head chef, and he dated Liv Tyler. So not exactly the failure that everyone was expecting. Yeah, so a high-quality woman is going to look at your presentation in your life as a whole. And if you're not successful, you have to have a good reason why. Right? I mean, when I met my wife, I was unemployed. But I was working on two novels, The God of Atheism and Almost. So there was a reason, and I had prior success. So if you're not successful, you have to have a good reason why. And the moment that a high-quality woman sees low-quality people in your life, she will hightail it out of there. So, let's see here.
[24:29] I loved your comments in the regular stream about nostalgia. I feel nostalgia for my teens very often. I've had a very similar thought process to what you mentioned, yeah. United Way pays its top executives a six-figure salary. That does not impress me, yeah, yeah. I feel frustrated when you answer every question except mine. Well, you're the guy who kept asking me about race last time, and we've had a lot of negative interactions before.
[25:01] They asked about the future and peaceful parenting. Yeah, stapler elite. So, you know, when I have negative interactions with you, you're training me to not interact with you. I mean, you understand that, right? You understand that? I'm sure you do. I mean, you're a smart guy, right?
[25:26] Let me see, did I miss this question? Thank you for watching. Yeah, I'm, I'm just be honest with you. I don't, I don't view your questions as in good faith. Yeah, I don't, I don't find your questions to be in good faith. I view them as gotchas and trying to corner me and all of this kind of stuff, right? Reverence for the dead is something that would not exist without trauma from non-peaceful parenting. See, here's the thing too, as an artist, so as a philosopher, I'm responsible for everything that I write. As an artist, some stuff just feels right. So it felt right for that to be the approach, that it is a benevolence of life thing. So I can't tell you exactly why that's in the book. I can't. Any more than you can tell me exactly why you dreamt everything you dreamt last night. But it's important that it felt right. So.
[26:42] But I'll just say every single question of yours that I can remember just feels almost half like a gotcha or like a corner or something like that. So.
[26:51] I just had that experience. And so I'm generally, I find myself just sort of automatically wary about your questions because I just have not found your questions to be positive. This is almost, it feels because I've had so many experiences of you with gotcha questions and all of that. So I just, I don't view your questions as in good faith because I can't remember the last enjoyable question that I got from you. Why is this guy making jokes about his dead daughter? You know, it just feels almost like a gotcha question. And I think that's just a habit of yours that I don't. Like. Okay. I did some charity work in a soup kitchen being the head cook last week. The organization is quite large and effective. Although I can't help but feel I could do better charity work. The old teaching, people had a fish rather than give them fish. Also did some work for a woman's domestic abuse shelter in Mississauga. They help women more along those lines, quite the group. Well, I mean, are you a curer or are you a preventer? I think the best charity is about prevention, which is why I think doing work to help children as a whole can be very positive, because you're dealing with sort of all of the effects of it.
[28:01] Stef, at what age do you think you should buy the fancy sports car to appear successful and not end up appearing like the 30-year-old that rides the bus? The fancy sports car to appear successful? I don't know. No, I never bought a fancy sports car. I just have never bought a fancy sports car. You know, it's tough. It was easier to signal wealth in a high-trust society. Now you signal wealth and it's tough, right?
[28:28] Do-do-let-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. All right. Yeah, Stapler was the one who accused Jared. Yeah, that's right. Stef, why is it common for white women to say they have Native American lineage? Is this a side effect of being shamed in public schools? Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, it's a way of just saying that you don't judge me as white and give me a break from racial guilt and all that kind of stuff. And plus, plus it is a way, it's a Warren, the Elizabeth Warren strategy, right?
[29:04] Hi, Stef. I asked a question about honesty regarding your response. It is too long to post here. Okay, so what's the point of that? What about the questions make you think they are gotcha questions?
[29:17] See, I want you to think of that. I want you to explain to me why I have that response. Why do I have that response with you consistently, right? So rather than put the entire onus upon me, so this is passive aggressive, right? This is a great example, right? Well, what about the questions makes you think they're gotcha questions? So then I'll put some stuff forward and you'll say, well, that's not my intention, right? So it's just a trap, right? So this is another gotcha question. So Stapler, I want you to explain to me without referencing any faults of mine, right? Because I'm pretty good at this stuff, right? So I want you to reference me, I want you to reference to me why I might not enjoy your questions and your interaction here. What have you done that might create that impression within me? Because I'm not alone in this. We've had a lot of people who have issues with your contributions here. So try this as an exercise, right? Because when you say, well, what about my questions? Make you think they've got gotcha questions, it's like, you have no idea, right? You've no idea, right? So I want you to try to explain to this community why we might be wary of your questions, rather than putting all the onus on other people.
[30:35] Because that's another gotcha question. What about what I'm doing is is possibly a gotcha question, right? Like you have no idea. You have no idea. Just about everyone here has a negative experience of your questions, and you have absolutely no idea. Well, that means that either you're lying, and you do have some idea, or you have absolutely no idea why everyone, almost everyone, has a negative experience of you here, in which case there's nothing I can do to explain it to you. I have feedback on the future. I like your vision of society, but I must say the destruction of privacy concerns me. Are the peaceful future and privacy mutually exclusive? But loved the book and the present. Thanks for the work. Much appreciated. What do you mean the destruction of privacy? I don't know what that means. I'm not sure what that means. The destruction of privacy. Can you tell me more? So you're not going to buy a Lambo in the next big market? I absolutely will not. Absolutely not. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, so the Locals app. All right, let me bring up the Locals app.
[32:02] Okay, so you put it, oh, you put it on the questions here? Where did you put the question here.
[32:20] Sorry about this. Where did it go?
[32:30] I can't find it. Can you give me a link? Yeah, just give me a link. Because you said it's somewhere. Somewhere, but I can't find it. All right. Uh, let's see here.
[32:49] Oh, this has gone way up. All right. Hang on a second. Let me just back down here. Do do do on the post comment section on the post comment section. All right. Uh, there are only two posts here. Bitwarm, and there's a new show on Apple TV that would be a fun discussion. Dark Matter, Multiverse, Science Fiction, very little woke NPC stuff. On the post comment section. So, do you mean that it is on my, when I'm asking for questions? So just give me a link. Just give me a link. I don't waste my time with all of this stuff. While I posted it somewhere else, somewhere, you know, I've got to try and run a show here, man. Jesus. All right. I think I've even given Stapler a snappy response in chat. Yeah. I mean, we had a whole show where you were behaving appallingly, accusing Jared of bad things that weren't even bad. And the woman was like, so the idea that people might have a negative experience of you, well, I don't know. I have no idea. Right. So post your philosophy questions here. A link. Good Lord. Give me a link. Okay. I'll go find it. But if I keep asking you to give me a link and then you say, well, here's the title of the show. All right.
[34:05] Oh yeah. No, I answered that this morning. If this is the one about girls. Yeah. I answered that this morning. All right. Destruction of privacy vis-a-vis the angels. Later brain scans being mandatory. I can see the logical link, but it is emotionally disturbing. What are you talking about? Brain scans being mandatory? What do you mean by mandatory? Was there ever an instance in the future where somebody who was virtuous initiated the use of force? So tell me what you mean by mandatory. I view this as quite annoying. Brain scans being Being mandatory.
[34:53] So the way that it worked in the future, in my novel, was that if you wanted insurance for your children, they had to have brain scans, which were totally peaceful, non-invasive, non-painful. And the reason they did that was so that they could figure out if the children were victims of child abuse, because that would show up in the brain scan. So what do you mean by mandatory? Mandatory. I don't understand what that means. And if you don't want to, right? It's the old thing that you can get health, like you can get life insurance and not have a medical exam, right? But it's more expensive and the premiums are lower. If you submit to a medical exam, does that mean then you get cheaper premiums and more payout? So I don't understand what it means to say mandatory.
[35:54] I really don't understand what you're talking about mandatory. There's a cost benefit.
[36:07] So I don't know. If you want to participate in an economically valuable society, if you want to save money, then you get scans. If you want to save money on your insurance, then you get scans. And some schools might require scans to make sure that you don't send psycho bullies to their school.
[36:47] All right so I don't I don't know what it means to be mandatory if you want life insurance they'll ask you if you're a smoker or not right, if you want life insurance they'll ask you if you're a smoker oh my god they're interrogating me forcefully it's like no you can say I refuse to answer this question and then they'll just charge you more, So I don't understand. So I don't understand. Destruction of privacy vis-a-vis the angels? What are you saying? So the angels are there to prevent the initiation of the use of force against children? Like seriously, what the hell are you talking about? out. Destruction of privacy? Okay, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this.
[37:50] If you see a guy grab a woman off the street and drag her into his house, is it a destruction of privacy for people to go in and rescue the woman? He's no property rights. He's no privacy. You see him grab a woman, screaming and resisting, and drag that woman into his house. And you can hear her screaming from inside, let me go, ow, you're hurting me. Oh my God, it's a destruction of privacy to go into his house. Come on, man. And there's no privacy. Where's the privacy for people to torture their children? You show me an example where any of the angels in my novel initiated the use of force.
[39:02] You tell me. And if you think that evil people should have the right to privacy while they're torturing and abusing their children, I don't know what you're doing here. Honestly, I don't know what you're doing here. It takes a huge amount of willpower to misinterpret that.
[39:37] All right. I don't think I've seen the movie Matilda. I just know the song. My mom, oh gosh, when I was growing up, let me, I won't go into a whole rant about all of the music that influenced me when I was growing up, but my mother kind of obsessively played a Harry Belafonte album called Streets I Have Walked. Well, I won't sit down because I just got to heaven. I'm going to look around. And I got into Harry Belafonte quite a bit. It's a lovely smoky tenor voice. And all of that all right oh yeah it's tons of privacy it's just that if you if you keep everything a secret then people can't judge they can't judge you right it's like a credit score, you can choose um let's say so in in the future right in in the free society you can choose to not have a social credit score okay then it's just going to be more expensive for people to lend you money, that's all. So you can keep your privacy, but you surrender privacy in return for economic efficiency, in return for cheaper stuff, right? It's sort of like if you go to the doctor and you're coughing up blood, and the doctor says, are you a smoker? And you say, hey, man, I got to keep my privacy. It's like, okay, well, you don't have to tell anyone if you're a smoker, but it's going to be pretty fucking tough to diagnose your illness if you have your privacy, right? You surrender your privacy for the sake of efficiency.
[40:59] All right. So I asked Stapler to tell me why people have a negative experience of him, right? And he said, I understand why you found the interaction with me a couple of months ago distasteful.
[41:11] I don't know what distasteful means. As I made accusations, which were misleading and was very defensive. Okay. You falsely accused someone of a bad behavior, which is bad behavior. So it's not misleading. And I was very defensive and it wasn't distasteful. These are all nonsense words to minimize what you did, right? You publicly accused one of my employees of harassing a woman, right? So that's very bad. I mean, it's very, very bad to publicly accuse someone of that, right? So I didn't find, you say you found the interaction distasteful. And of course you put a couple of months ago in to make it look like it's not something that's kind of foundational right so uh when we look at this first sentence i understand why you found the interactions with me a couple of months ago distasteful uh no it wasn't distasteful i think you did something really nasty and wrong honestly it was really nasty and wrong to publicly accuse someone of harassing a girl when she said it wasn't harassing or anything like that so however i apologize for this multiple times i also understand that i ask tricky questions as i'm I'm very familiar with your work, and so I can answer all of the easy ones myself. I also understand that you have employees where they continue in grievance against me, despite my apologies, and they may be influenced. Okay, so this is just, you're a victim now, right?
[42:31] And this is what I know about why you'd be weary of my questions. No, I didn't say, I didn't say weary. I never said weary.
[42:42] So, no, because the IQ stuff that you kept asking me and I kept answering and you kept asking and it's just annoying, right? It's just annoying. So, it's just negative. I have negative experience. I don't find you acting in good faith, right? And so, when I asked you to take responsibility as to why, what did you do, right? You minimized it. You said it was just distasteful. And you said, I made accusations which were misleading and was very defensive. Okay. okay, it wasn't misleading. You were wrong. You were absolutely completely and totally wrong. You publicly accused someone of wrongdoing and you were in the wrong. And it took a lot of work to get you to even see that. And that's just not fun for me. It's not fun for me. It's not fun for other people. So you minimize everything. I asked you to take responsibility as to why people might have a negative experience with you. And you just minimized it. And then you say, hey, I apologized. And then you say, I just asked tricky questions. No, that's not it. That's not it. I mean, Lots of people ask questions that are tough to answer. That's why they're here. So now you're saying, oh, and now you're blaming employees. My employees have a continuing grievance. And despite my apologies, right? Right. Right.
[43:58] So you have not taken any responsibility. You're saying, well, you know, it was just kind of misleading. You found it distasteful, not it was wrong. You just found it distasteful, right? And I apologized, right? I'm just asking tricky questions, right? So this is why there's no good faith here, right? There's no good faith here. So. Nope. So I asked for you to take responsibility, like for, and you don't have to take responsibility for everything, but I was asking for why people have such a negative experience of you and you minimized everything you did and then you didn't reference any other difficulties I've had with you and then you blamed my employees. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on. Gosh.
[45:09] All right. Any other thoughts or questions or issues? And here's the thing, too. Like, if you've been difficult... Maybe be easy for a while. That's all. You know, just if you've really upset people or been negative in an interaction, maybe just be positive and nice for a while. So that would be my suggestion, right? So if you've got a negative reputation, maybe be really positive and helpful for a while. That's all.
[45:51] All right.
[45:54] Now, my suggestion would be that therapy would be a really good idea. You have a, and look, I sympathize with your childhood, right? You have a tough, you had a very tough childhood. I get all of that, right? And you have a tough time I'm taking responsibility and you are very aggressive, right?
[46:19] And that is tough. I think that's something you need to work on in therapy, not in a chat window, right? Because given how you behave, I can't imagine that the biggest issue in your life is a comment a character makes takes in a fictional story I wrote four years ago or three years ago, right? Right? This is sort of my question, right? So I think you've got a lot of dysfunction in your life. I'll be frank with you, right? I mean, because I do want to help you, right? So I think you've got a lot of dysfunction in your life. So I don't think that the biggest issue that you're dealing with is one of my employees messaging someone. Someone, I think that your biggest issue in life or the biggest challenges in your life are not how my AI handles race questions. I don't think that the biggest issue in your life is a comment one of my fictional characters makes in a novel I wrote years ago. Those aren't your biggest issues. So the question is, why are you coming here to talk about these things, right?
[47:36] Right? That's the question. And it's a very interesting question. The people who ask me questions are asking about the biggest issues in their life. How do I meet women? How do I deal with a difficult family member? How do I get a raise? Like these are big, deep, important issues.
[47:56] Is it the case that when you have the opportunity to tap into my knowledge, my wisdom and so on, that it's all like, well, your character said this, and I don't think that's right. And your AI doesn't do this with regards to these questions. And, you know, your employee messaged some, like all of this other crap, right? This is not, these are not the issues that are important in your life. I guarantee you 150%, these are not the issues that are important in your life. So that's what I get. I get that you're here trying to cause some kind of trouble, trying to put me in an awkward position, and so on, right? So these are not the biggest issues that you have in your life. These aren't the biggest issues any of us have in our life. So the question is, and this is why these questions are bad faith, right? These questions are bad faith.
[48:49] Because the reason that they're gotcha questions is everyone else is asking questions that are important for the moral or practical progress of their lives. And you're asking kind of little gotcha questions about this, that, and the other, right? So I will answer your questions when you ask me a question that is important to your life, not, well, this seems to be quite contradictory, but this, and your AI doesn't answer questions about that. And this character says something about this and you're employed. Like, these are not the big issues in your life. So why are you asking me these questions? Right? Because here's the thing, and I will say this for sure. Like, I will say this with absolute certainty. Stapler, my friend, if these are the big issues in your life, then you are vastly superior to all of us here. And I say this absolutely true. Like, if you've solved everything in your life to the point with, well, your AI does this and your employee messaged that, and it won't... Like, if these are the big, deep, meaty, most important issues in your life, then you're so vastly superior to all of us that you should not waste your time here. You really shouldn't. You really shouldn't.
[50:09] You should be running your own show, and I'll come to you. And everyone, honestly, you should start running your own show, because if the big, like in this world of corruption and danger and collapsing trust and collapsing birth rates and massive potential for hyperinflation and verbal abuse characterizing most of the mainstream media and danger and all of this kind of stuff, right? Right?
[50:38] So, if with the massive amounts of catastrophes going on, right, collapse in free speech, the fomenting for World War 3, right? If it's like, well, Stef, your AI doesn't do this. It's like, if that's your biggest issue, then you've solved so much that we should all come to you.
[51:04] Right? You have solved so much that your biggest issue are nitpicky stuff about my novel or hardware or AI stuff or whatever, right? You're in the wrong place. You're absolutely in the wrong place. Because you only have passive aggressive questions for me. You don't have any issues that this community can help you with, which means that everything in your life is solved except for how my AI handles race questions, right? That's the big question you have to ask everything else in your life. You're happily married. You've got a wonderful relationship with your kids. You're in a place that has almost infinite political and speech freedom. You have saved everything you need to save. You've done all of this great good in your community and you've checked off every tick box of everything wonderful that you could do in your life. And then the last thing is, yeah, but Stef doesn't directly answer this question about race, right?
[52:17] So you need to start your own show. And I'm not kidding about this. Like if this is where you are in life, that these are the biggest issues that in a world spanning, infinitely deep philosophy conversation, you've got a nitpick about this bullshit, then you've solved everything. And you need to start your own show and you need to outstrip me in the wisdom and virtue, true compassion and beauty that you can bring to the world. Absolutely, completely, and totally. This is an absolute waste of your time. You are far too good for us. You are far too together for us. You are far too certain for us. You are far too virtuous for us. We're all struggling with how to live in a corrupt world, right? How to find love, how to maintain love, how to prepare our children to live in a world that's getting increasingly fragmented, tribalistic, and corrupt. and you have none of those issues. You have completely surmounted all of the issues that we're all struggling with.
[53:28] And he says, thanks, Stefan. Everything within my control in life is going well, but I get amazing clarity from asking the questions I have asked. I'm happy to elaborate on this. No, listen, if everything in your life is going well, and you said everything within my control in my life is going well well uh that's not true i mean that's just a lie because you're in control of how this community responds to you and the community doesn't particularly like you so you're just lying to me or you're completely unaware that you're quite unpopular within this community, So you say, everything within my control in my life is going well, but you're part of this community, and the community is not reacting positively to you, and you're in control of what you type into this community, right? So this is the problem. You just lie.
[54:24] And I don't know what to do with that, other than to say, it's not true, and I think it's a negative thing to lie to someone. I do. I think it's a negative thing, right? So would you agree? And just, you know, you can just answer this very briefly. Would you agree if you say everything within my control in my life is going well, but your relationship with this community, which is directly under your control, is not going well?
[54:51] Your relationship with this community is not going well. So when you say everything within my control in my life is going well, that's false. False. And it's obviously false, because people have issues with you here, and they have a negative experience of you here. Now, you can say, hey, man, that's all their fault. Well, but then what happens is you're in a community with other people who just irrationally blame you for nothing, and then why would you be there? So then even if you're totally right, and we're all just, you know, bad people who misinterpret things and blame you for everything, thing, right? I mean, then why would you be here? I wouldn't be in a community where I was acting in good faith and everything I said was just honest and curious and people reacted negatively. I wouldn't be part of that community. Of course not, right? So within the empirical evidence that we have, it's not true that everything within your control in life is going well. You're in control of whether you're in this community or not. People in this community have a negative experience of you, which means either you're provoking a negative experience or you're some wonderful guy that we all dislike for some reason, either of which is not going well.
[56:06] So, you just bring things to, I mean, let me ask you this, just to ask this to the people as a whole. Do you think he knows how obvious this is just not true? Like, everything within my control in life is going well, right in the time where he's having a significant, another, another significant conflict with the community he's part of. But everything is in his life that's in his control is going fantastically right when he's in the middle of another, yet another conflict with a community he's part of.
[56:37] I mean, does that, does that not seem like, what do you even say about that? He knows? I don't know. It's just, it's weird. I think he's just somebody who wants to win in the moment rather than have an honest conversation, right? So, yeah. And here's the thing too. So if everything in your life is going well, then you need to be doing your own show. You should not be here. You should not be here among the people you define as dysfunctional. Like, if you're around people, they're having a negative response to you, and you've apologized, but they just don't accept your apology, and I'm unduly influenced by my employees. Well, then it's a community that's too immature for your wonderful mature self. Like, the community is too immature to handle you because we don't forgive you and I'm unduly influenced by employees and you've done anything wrong and I just have a distasteful experience of you making a mistake, right? So there's just a complete mismatch between your, if you're right, right? Then there's a complete mismatch between your wonderful self and this immature reactive community, right? So then I'm not sure why you would be here because that would be slumming it, right? And I don't know why you'd be slumming it. And if we're right and you do have some dysfunctional aspects to your personality, then not everything that's under your control is going well.
[58:04] So no, sorry, he said, within my control, seems like he's giving himself an opportunity for making excuses. That thing is not going well, but that's not under my control. I hear you. I mean, of course that, right? So then we could say, well, but fiat currency, and he's like, well, that's not under my control. And I get all of that. But he's under control with what he types here. That's directly under his control, right? I mean, I'm not trying to get anyone to gang up, but sometimes getting community responses can be helpful.
[58:34] So hit me with a Y if you look forward to Staple and Reed's contributions and hit me with an N if you don't. I mean, other than the lesson of dealing with conflict and all of that, if you look forward to and find value in the questions he asks or the contribution he makes in the live chat and again i'm i'm fine if you do uh i'm fine if you do i'm just i'm just curious so i don't i don't look forward to it i don't enjoy i don't find it pleasant right, so uh let's see here n n n n uh somebody says yes uh n n n N. Right. N, N. Okay. So, um, with one exception, which is fine, um, people have a negative experience of your contributions, but the lessons are valuable. I mean, I think that's true too.
[59:32] I understand why you dislike me based on my prior actions. They were wrong. And if that means you will always dislike me, then that's your choice. I love your work and could not make something as good myself. A lot of people in the community are very supportive. Okay. Yes, but only because of the rant. So that's an N, right? So yeah. So one person, who is that? A swan lack. Three, one person finds it positive and everybody else finds it negative. So that just means that either Either you're too good for us or you should get some therapy. All right. Well, I hope that helps. And I really do appreciate. Yeah, he twists and turns like a twisty turny thing. That's pretty funny. And I got to go and eat. I've only had a banana today and it's time to fuel up the old brain. So thanks, everyone, of course, for your tips and your support. Of course, freedomain.com slash donate if you're listening to this later. This is only going to go out to donors, of course. But if you're listening to it later and you weren't here for this, freedomain.com slash donate. Great show. Thank you. thank you so much. I really do appreciate that. Have yourselves an absolutely wonderful, wonderful rest of the day. Get out and get some sun if you can. Lots of love from up here. I'll talk to you soon.
Support the show, using a variety of donation methods
Support the show
