2025, Stefan Molyneux
www.freedomain.com
Welcome to Chitty Chatty Fest
Obesity and Societal Impact
The Nature of Simps
Value Exchange in Relationships
Media Influence on Women
The Burden of Expectations
The Costs of Truth
Navigating Personal Experiences
Male Victims of Abuse
Engaging the Audience
Addressing Community Concerns
The Importance of Conviction
Motivating Others
Encouraging Independent Thinking
Teaching Critical Analysis
The Challenge of Parenting
The Scope of Political Influence
In this episode, I delve into a wide-ranging discussion surrounding the value that men and women bring to relationships and society, sparked by a provocative tweet highlighting a historical engagement ring designed to inspire. The conversation pivots to male contributions in the form of labor, craftsmanship, and dedication, contrasting this with the perceived ease of female contributions, such as childbearing. I present a case for redefining value in relationships, emphasizing that loyalty, support, and nurturing are essential, yet often overlooked contributions that women traditionally provide to men.
I share personal anecdotes about my wife, impressing how her qualities and efforts create a thriving home environment, and how valuable traits in women often go underappreciated in contemporary society. Engaging with callers, I explore perspectives on these gender dynamics and the implications of modern relationships, addressing controversial views on the value of motherhood and the expectations that accompany it.
The conversation leads to a poignant critique of societal changes where women have become increasingly independent of men's traditional roles, thus altering the familial structure and expectations. We unpack how these societal shifts have fostered a sense of entitlement, potentially leading to a loss of reciprocal relationships where both partners feel validated and valued.
Through rich dialogues with various callers, I analyze the harmful effects of a "me-first" mentality, particularly among women in light of current social conditions. Our discussions also cover the impact of welfare and state systems on gender dynamics, with a focus on how these systems can distort traditional roles and exacerbate discontent.
As the episode moves forward, we discuss the nature of compliments in society, with men sharing their experiences of receiving praise in stark contrast to women, thus illuminating broader issues of validation and self-worth in both genders. We examine how social media and cultural narratives shape perceptions of beauty, desirability, and value, ultimately influencing relationships.
I conclude by encouraging the audience to strive for value creation in their personal lives and relationships—emphasizing that true happiness stems from mutual contribution, respect, and understanding. The goal of our engaging discussions is to challenge the audience to critically reflect on the nature of value in their lives and to foster relationships grounded in genuine appreciation and reciprocity, ultimately leading to lasting happiness and fulfillment.
In this episode, I tackle the complex value dynamics between men and women in relationships, spurred by a tweet about a historical engagement ring. I argue for recognizing women’s often-overlooked contributions like loyalty and support. Through personal anecdotes and caller engagement, we explore the impact of societal shifts on expectations and relationships, addressing issues such as the "me-first" mentality and the influence of welfare systems.
We also discuss validation and compliments within gender interactions, considering cultural narratives that shape perceptions of worth. I conclude by encouraging listeners to foster mutual respect and understanding in their relationships for lasting happiness.
value dynamics
men
women
relationships
engagement ring
loyalty
support
societal shifts
me-first mentality
validation
mutual respect
understanding
happiness
Stefan
[0:00]Good evening, everybody. It's Stefan Molyneux from Freedomain. It is time for our Friday night Chitty Chatty Fest.
[0:08]
Welcome to Chitty Chatty Fest
Stefan
[0:08]And after a couple of days with no bangers, I guess I have a slight banger of a tweet going on, which I thought would be worth talking about. And I'm thrilled, of course, to take your questions. So the tweet, the tweet, the X, the Twitter, the whatever it is these days. So I posted a picture of, Somebody posted, it was a German engagement ring from the 16th century, was designed to transform into a miniature astronomical map entitled, the whole universe is in your hands. Beautiful, lovely, delightful, wonderful. And I said, this is what men build for women. What is the equivalent from women to men? And here's the thing. Of course, you know, Or, oh, people got offended and hit the roof. And how dare you say that women contribute nothing? I'm just asking a question. I know what my wife brings to the table.
Stefan
[1:06]She's wonderful. Somebody asked me, like, what attracted me to my wife and, you know, her wit, her intelligence, her sexiness, her great sense of humor, moral courage, and integrity, just all kinds of beautiful stuff for me. And she has made our home into a paradise of testosterone-enhancing girly world that works in ways I can't even fathom or comprehend. She's just made the place beautiful and she's a fantastic homemaker, a wonderful mother, and the best friend, at least that I could hope for. And so I'm just asking in general. Men work very hard. You know, we dig the gold from the earth, dwarf and oak and shield style we dig the earth we we get the we risk our lives we get the gold we fashion it we take years to learn how to become a jeweler and we fashion these things for women and um what is in return because of course now that sex has been liberated from commitment women can offer sex.
Stefan
[2:11]Which is really not much of anything when it comes to a sacrifice, like a man who learns how to make an engagement ring like this is putting years and years and years of sacrifice and work into this as have the man who've created the gold and created the smelters to melt the gold. And I mean, having done my old little bit of gold exploration in my teens, I know a little bit where off I speak. And what is the equivalent from women to men? I mean, these days, right?
Stefan
[2:40]So what what do people say children babies babies children children offspring lineage babies babies children and it's like no no that's uh tainted tainted ladies no no lad because the.
Stefan
[2:58]Man requires a massive amount of skill to create these things and then passes them to the woman and, you know, ask any man, what value do you get out of the engagement ring that you handed over to your fiancee, lo, those many years ago? And he's going to say, nothing really, nothing. And of course, women don't have to study for five or 10 years to learn how to craft a baby. All they have to have is let a man jet ski inside them and they are away to the races. It's an automatic physical function, which is not to say there aren't difficulties to it, but I mean, like, you know bloating and tender nipples and all kinds of stuff but that to me is just tuesday but, women put about as much effort in terms of skill into creating a baby as a man does to create a gallstone. I mean, it just, it's an automatic process and it's really not a massive amount of skill. Now, don't get me wrong. I mean, it's not fun. It's not pleasant. There can be really real difficulties with it, but it's not a skill-based thing. And the man transfers his wealth to the woman who then has the wealth and there's no more value for the man. It's a one-time transaction. the woman does not transfer the children to the men and then has no further interest in them whatsoever. So I think what women bring to men, uh, you know, traditionally has been.
Stefan
[4:22]The, um, nurturing of life, the transmission, the transmissal of values, the education and upbringing of the children, the running of the home, the support of the man, uh, the loyalty, the fidelity, and all of these kinds of good things, you know, stuff that you have to earn, because the man has to earn the skill and right to make a piece of jewelry like that. Building a baby is not the same. That is an automatic process. You know, one of the things that you know that it's a bit of an automatic process is building a complex universe-spanning engagement ring is an ability not shared by any non-human animal. But if I remember rightly, non-human animals can get inseminated, get pregnant, grow a baby, and give birth. Happens all the time, billions of times a day, all over the world. So it's not really quite the same thing. And I think, you know, one of the, you've probably seen this famous meme, which is a book there to help women is like, you deserve is like 600 times. A book there to guide men is like, you have to, it's there forever and ever, amen. And so...
Stefan
[5:37]Reminding women, and I do this because I love women. I live with two wonderful females, love them to death, and I want women to be happy. And the best way to be happy, the best way to be happy in the long run, in life, outside of virtue, the best way to be happy is to provide value.
Stefan
[5:56]To provide value. That is by far, by far the best way. If you want job security, provide value to your employer. If you want someone to be loyal to you in love, make their experience of loving you wonderful, wonderful. Make them happy, make them laugh, be good in bed, like whatever, make great food or be really appreciative or share the same values and have the same goals in life. Like the only security is excellence. An excess of value creates an excess of loyalty. An excess of loyalty is precisely what you need to go arm in arm through this veil of rollercoaster highs and lows known as existence on the carbon-based life-form planet scenario.
Stefan
[6:46]And women need to think, modern women need to think more about the value that they are providing. What value are you providing? It's not sexual access. It's not simply making a baby. What value are you actually providing? And unfortunately, there's a whole bunch of nefarious negative actors in this world that if you were to ever to say to a woman, they're kind of programmed with these responses. If you were to ever say to a woman, well, what do you bring to the table? I am the table. I am the prize. That kind of vanity is exhausting. And it's fundamentally predatory and selfish.
Stefan
[7:31]I want you guys to listen to what it is that I'm talking about, right? So what is my job? My job is to hopefully think originally, to communicate it in a clear, engaging, occasionally perhaps funny way. It is my job to make philosophy enjoyable, digestible, and what I'm really focusing on actionable. You can do something about it. It's not just this abstract discipline of mental masturbation. So that's the goal. That's my job. I don't deserve you listening to me. I'm not entitled to you listening to me. You listening to me is not, I am the table. You just got to listen. And if you don't listen, you're a misandressed, right? You need to provide value in this life. The only people who don't need to provide value are babies and toddlers. Everybody else has to provide value in order to get reciprocity. And the best way to radicalize women is to tell them that they are the prize and don't have to provide value. And you can see, man, you've probably seen these charts where men are a little bit more conservative than they were a generation ago, but women have gone like liberal leftist hysterical through the roof. Like it's insane. Have 15 points or more upwards in the leftist hysteria.
Stefan
[8:49]So that's not good. Now, of course, one of the reasons that women can diverge from what men know to be true, like not saying all conservatism is true, but a lot of it is, of course, time-tested and all of that. But the only way that women can be convinced to no longer care about men's opinions is to tell women that they don't need men, to make women entitled and unpleasant so that men don't chase them, to constantly have women or promote women saying, I can't believe these guys are always approaching me in public. I get so gross, right? So that men don't want to talk to women. Then, And of course, women feel lonely, isolated, and complain that men don't want to talk to them. And then they go back to another hashtag me too thing. So...
Stefan
[9:30]Women, by running to the state and having the state backfill their bad decisions, no longer need men. And thus, there is not an anchor to their radicalization. And women have been severely radicalized, like crazy radicalized relative to where they were, you know, even 10 years ago. I mean, it's wild. And that is because they don't need to care what men think, because they can run to the government or resources. And it's really, really tragic. It's really tragic. And of course, it doesn't end well. The government is not love. The government is not a husband. The government is not a community. The government is not a family.
Stefan
[10:10]You're a pet to the government, but it doesn't even give you the comfort of pets. And it is really, really sad. And it is, of course, really impossible for the average man to imagine what it's like to be a woman in the modern, particularly social media landscape. It's wild, man. It's wild. All right, let's get, because, you know, so much positive feedback. So, I mean, even all the way from school, that you're just wonderful, women are wonderful. There's a whole psychological phenomenon and so on, right? So it's wild, man. All right, let's get to the brains of the outfit, aka you, the gorgeous, gorgeous listeners. We have Dr. Ted. I believe you are, I just want to be your teddy bear. All right, Dr. Ted. What is on your mind, my friend? Don't forget to unmute. I'm all ears.
Caller
[11:00]Hi, Stefan. I agree with you completely. But curious about, say, the tea, was it like a tea app, sort of a, was it a doxing or a hacking of sorts? And to see these massively overweight women And when these are probably the, like, this is what you're, you're like, the women that we're supposed to be chasing weigh 220 pounds. Like, I don't know, any thoughts on that?
Stefan
[11:41]Well, women's overweight has also to do with the fact that they run to the resources, they run to the resources from the state, and then the state uses force to gain those resources from men and then hands it out to the women in return for votes. Now, for those of you who don't know the T story, it's T-E-A, not as in golf. And the T story is that there was an app and it was number one that was not out yet. I don't really know how that works, but there was an app wherein women could say, do you want to date this guy? Here's the red flags. Here's the good, here's the bad. And I think that it was pretty much doxing people. There were photos and so on, as far as I can tell. And of course, you would need enough information that you'd know who they were talking about in order to figure out whether you could date them or not. And it's just terrible, just a terrible idea because of course there's no, standard of proof. There's no standard of evidence. There's no cross-examination. It is simply a whisper campaign, which of course women are ferociously and terrifyingly good at for the most part.
Stefan
[12:37]And of course, the other thing too is that for a lot of women, a guy with a bad reputation is exciting. So I think a lot of men would actually end up doing better in the dating market by advertising how much women trash talk them on this app. But then it turns out that there was a bunch of data stored in an unencrypted format that you could just download, including I think, the profile photos of the women who were posting.
Stefan
[13:01]And so the doxers got doxed and it's all just terrible. And of course, if you could imagine, I don't know, what would you call it? Mafia body count for women or something like that. If men decided to put this together, and I think they did in the past, it would just be banned immediately. So it is really tragic.
Stefan
[13:20]Women love to be loved and need to be pursued and need to be attractive. And that was understood by all females in all cultures throughout all of history up until about five minutes ago. And now because of a wide variety of psyops, basically around depopulating the groups of people most resistant to tyranny, women have been told that men are bad and men are trash and all of this. And because women have not needed men for a couple of generations because they've been able to run to the government, which borrows money and sells off their offspring's future for the sake of bribing them in the here and now, women haven't needed men. And so women have become progressively more obnoxious. Like if you win the lottery, you don't need to be a good employee. You know, you're like, you know, that old meme, is it Kermit the Frog? Where, you know, after I win the lottery, you know, and your boss tells you something, you're like, watch your mouth, boss. Right? I mean, so women have won the lottery as far as getting resources without needing men, as women throughout history have always needed men for resources and thus has to have to be attractive to men. And that's how nature designs us to work together. But when women can get the resources without pleasing the men, then they can, you know, The slave owner does not do a 360 performance review. The slaves don't get to criticize the slave owner, and women don't accept any sort of feedback or criticism because they don't need to any more than you would take being chewed out by your boss or corrected by your boss if you just won the lottery. But what are your thoughts?
Caller
[14:46]Yeah, do you think welfare is the reason for just the degradation of women in general? I mean, they had to upload their IDs or do a selfie, but you see these IDs being shared around on X or Twitter, and they're like 220 pounds. Is this really like, you know, like, well, what do women bring to the table that can't even bring anything that's physical?
Stefan
[15:19]Well, it is a sort of sad fact of nature that is being incredibly resisted at the moment. Not sad. I mean, it's hard to say a fact of nature is sad, but men are visual creatures. We have evolved to evaluate at a very sort of basic and primal level. We have evolved to evaluate genetic fitness at a glance, right? We have to do it that way because we don't have a huge amount of time to choose which woman to approach because other men are circling and approaching. So we have become absolute experts at figuring out genetic fitness. So what we call physical beauty, right? Symmetrical features and so on and no particular lumps or protrusions or triple chins or anything like that. What we call genetic, what we call physical beauty are simply markers for genetic fitness. A good hip to waist ratio and illustrious hair, clear eyes, pink cheeks, and so on. These are all signals of genetic fitness. And one of the things that men need to know is how smart the women are, right? We don't all come. It'd be kind of cool if we did, right?
Stefan
[16:25]But it would be kind of cool if we all came with the IQ tattooed on our forehead so we'd know who to interact with, but we don't. So we have to find some other kind of proxy. And one of the first proxies, of course, for intelligence in a woman is whether she's obese or not. And again, there's tons of exceptions and everyone's a human, equal under the law, blah, blah, blah. But in general, intelligence and BMI are inversely correlated. The higher the intelligence, the lower the BMI and vice versa. So unfortunately, there are a lot of women who are out there mimicking being less intelligent that they actually are by letting themselves gain weight. And, you know, it's funny, I remember many, many years ago, this is before Obamacare, this is, gosh, I was still doing my master's, so this would be like 30 years ago. I remember reading a blog from a guy in America, and it was really fascinating to me. Healthcare has been a real interest of mine for many, many decades. And he was not exercising, he was overweight, weight and he went for his annual physical. His annual physical was sent to his insurance company and his insurance company said, man, you got to fix these numbers, man. You got to fix your blood work. You got to lose weight. You got to start exercising like it's terrible. I mean, you don't have to, but if you don't, then we're going to increase your premium significantly, right? So that was sort of his early warning signal. So what did he do? Well, he.
Stefan
[17:51]He chronicled his whole journey, right? He started eating better. He exercised. He lost a good deal of weight. He gained muscle. And of course, he was much happier as a result. But it took someone, it took a financial cost and someone caring enough to tell him that it was going to cost him money. Now, of course, if people are overweight, they don't exercise and so on, assuming no particular physical limitations, the taxpayers and the government end up paying more, but the government doesn't care.
Stefan
[18:21]And the insurance company does care because if they insure people and they end up spending more on their health care than they get in their insurance premiums and they know this math you know really really intimately then the insurance company is probably going to go out of business whereas the government doesn't ever perceive it that way so the government doesn't care enough for people to say you have to lose weight or you're going to be facing some sort of fine or negative thing which is basically what the insurance company was saying, and so women don't have the feedback of not getting resources from men if they are overweight and it's actually very cruel because then the women gain weight they also you know you you can't, discriminate for prior existing conditions which is a whole other thing uh in in the american health care system which is more way more than 50 percent government run at the moment it's not really private at all then the insurance company is not allowed to discriminate the government doesn't get a care and you can get resources without pleasing men. So you are missing that feedback loop. You know, that, that the negative pain pressure point that you need to make better decisions. You know, like the guy who he thinks he's having a heart attack. It turns out it's just indigestion or something, but it's enough of a scare for him to change his life and start working for the better. So we're withholding negative feedback from people. And that is just making their lives infinitely worse over time.
[19:46]
Obesity and Societal Impact
Caller
[19:47]Do you have the statistics on obesity and among just American statistics among males and females? Because, for example, I think about half of American men are overweight. But when I go to the airport, I see a lot of guys in the past 20 years. They're lifting weights. They're actually trying to change their life. They're trying to make effective change. And you don't see that anywhere in America with women. They're just like, how fat can I get?
Stefan
[20:24]Well, remember, in America, as is in the case with most places, if you're not breaking data down by ethnicity, you're kind of doing a disservice, right? And Kevin Sammler used to talk about this all the time when he would sort of criticize women in the black community for being heavier than the average black man. And that was a big issue. So if you look at, say, the East Asian community, right, sort of the China, Japan, Korea, and so on, their BMIs are not particularly high. And then white community is worse than that. Hispanic is worse than that. Black is worse than that. So you don't want to put everything together in one big solid sort of blob, but you want to sort of break these things down by ethnicity because the rates vary quite a bit among various ethnicities within, well, I mean, around the world as a whole. So, yeah, I mean, I don't know what the answer is going to be other than eventually the government's going to run out of money and the system's going to have to recalibrate and women are going to realize that they need men.
Stefan
[21:19]And until women realize that they need men, then, you know, it's the Garden of Eden, right? We had the Garden of Eden in the 19th century. I just did a show on this today about the boomers. We had the Garden of Eden in the 19th century in many ways, in terms of progress and going in the right direction and a century of peace in Western Europe. And then the vanity came along, which is women are particularly susceptible as a whole to flattery. Men have their own weaknesses around status and so on, but women are particularly susceptible to flattery and they should be getting their flattery from men, but instead they're getting their flattery from the media and politicians, which are working against women's long-term happiness. Um, but it's like a drug. Is there anything else you wanted to mention?
Caller
[22:02]No, that's it. I really appreciate you, Stefan. Thank you.
Stefan
[22:04]All right. Thanks, Dr. Ted. Very nice to chat with you. I appreciate that. And don't forget free domain.com slash donate to help out the show lady ali lady ali oh that's a cool font man i don't even know how you do that on x very very squiggly very writing on the surface of a lake what is on your mind my friend how can i help you today can.
Caller
[22:25]You hear me.
Stefan
[22:26]Uh you're gonna have to i don't want to turn up the volume here but you're kind of quiet in my ear um.
Caller
[22:31]Oh hold on i'm on the wrong microphone. Give me a second.
Stefan
[22:37]No problem.
Caller
[22:39]Darren, is that better?
Stefan
[22:40]Uh, not particularly, but I can hear you. Why don't you go ahead?
Caller
[22:46]Well, as... On the subject of women adding value, we're kind of not taught to create value in ourselves. We have a whole generation of people my age. I'm 37. All the women in my generation, we're not taught that.
Stefan
[23:12]Sorry, did you just say to create value in yourselves?
Caller
[23:16]Yes.
Stefan
[23:17]What do you mean by that?
Caller
[23:18]So um what i mean is the kind of thing that our grandmothers did where sure we had the you know they had babies but they also raised them but they also made a peaceful home um that was a a constant in a man's life so um and even um when things got hard they didn't have the ability so much as they do now to just kind of take off um and that i i take um my my own grandparents i i take a lot of this from their situation because they were kind of forced to get married early um because she got pregnant at 15 and he was 18 and um it was 1958 and they had really difficult first 10 years and six kids before like age 22.
Stefan
[24:27]That's six kids before age 22?
Caller
[24:31]If i'm doing the math right i think so but they oh no five kids but one kid came eight years later but um they they had a lot of kids and the thing was my my grandpa worked hard and was very much a family man and um, that that's kind of all he did but the difference is they both had parents and grandparents that taught them how to do that and even um my grandma was a little bit more free-spirited for the time.
Caller
[25:06]So they had harder years and plus she was only 15 so it meant like she couldn't you know go have that friends experience that her friends could have because she was home with her toddlers but she had family to help she had um their their parents though they weren't rich by any means they were able to help them by their own first starter house and they gave my grandpa a job and there was much and it was a smaller town but there was a tighter sense of community and you know my my grandma was being taught by four women how to cook how to clean how to take care of babies and um then my parents generation didn't learn any of that and then didn't pass it on to us because i guess they thought the public school system would do that um and and there are some classes sometimes in public school, but they don't care, you know? So, um, a lot of women in my generation just weren't taught that we weren't raised in tight knit communities. Um, so in a way to, to a certain point.
Caller
[26:25]It wasn't our fault, but after a certain point, you have to turn your brain on and think like what if the problem is me and a lot of women find that difficult um for a lot of reasons but simps.
Stefan
[26:46]Sorry go on.
Caller
[26:47]Well yes and i'm i'm super anti-simp that really bothers oh honey.
Stefan
[26:52]There's nothing you need to change you're perfect the way you are send me nudes anyway go.
Caller
[26:56]On that's where what you were saying earlier comes into play where you said women are very susceptible to flattery that's true and i've experienced that and even if you're a four you know you're still you're even more maybe more susceptible to that especially you get it from.
Stefan
[27:15]The simps and you also get it from other women who want to pump up your vanity so you don't improve yourself and compete with them.
Caller
[27:21]Well um for example for me i grew up in colorado and a very like hippie kind of yuppie culture and you only had to say colorado.
Stefan
[27:31]I could fill in the rest myself but go on.
Caller
[27:33]Yeah yeah well all of their all of my friends parents were actual hippies who had techie jobs now and so they were all um uh like nepo babies, I was like their little poor pet because I grew up not like that. And, you know, I started listening to you years and years ago now because of your narcissistic mother stuff.
Stefan
[28:05]I'm glad you finished that sentence. I started listening to you because of your narcissistic. And I'm like, where does that go? Where does that sentence go? No. Oh, mother. Okay, good, good, good. Okay.
Caller
[28:15]Because that's my mom, 100%.
Stefan
[28:18]Oh, I'm sorry about that. I really am.
Caller
[28:20]Yeah, but also plus methamphetamine.
Stefan
[28:22]Oh, yeah, we had a caller in the last show not to outdo bad mothers, but yeah, he had to shoot at the age of 14 a hitman that his mother hired to kill him. So you got meth. I didn't have meth. So I'm really sorry for all of that.
Caller
[28:37]Well, my point was that with all of these people who were raised rich and stuff, then they romanticized being poor for some reason. And so it was like, oh, you're so beautiful and so amazing for coming up out of the gutter. What's it like to not be able to eat? And it's like, well, it sucks. What do you want from me? But I was very susceptible to the, oh, you're so amazing. Think the thing that women have to realize is that all those people telling you, oh, you're so amazing, they might even, those people might even be serious. Like they might even believe what they're telling you, but it doesn't matter because they don't really care. And you should realize that before it's too late.
Stefan
[29:29]And what makes you say, and I'm not disagreeing with you, but what is it that you mean when you say they don't care?
Caller
[29:35]Because people who really care about you would tell you hard truths instead of constantly oh you're so amazing oh that's so wonderful oh you're so talented like that i'm very mistrustful of flatterers now because of that because there was a moment where it was i'm gonna not be around for a while will you guys please hang out with me for 45 minutes you know because i'm gonna have to be gone for a year doing something very important i was going to be raising my child and um i said you know since i'm pregnant could you guys like smoke pot in 45 minutes as opposed to now, And they said, no, we'd rather get high inside and just left me on the porch. And I said, wow, none of you were my actual friends. All the years of all this stuff was a total lie. I'm better off knowing this now. And now I have been able to choose better friends and teach my kid how to choose better friends, but also teach her that truth. Even when it's hard, usually as long as it's not said in kind of a dickish way.
Stefan
[30:53]I'm working on it.
Caller
[30:55]It's always better. Well, some people need it that way, but the hard truth is always going to be more loving, than the weird love bombing, I guess.
Stefan
[31:11]Yeah, no, and I mean, I wish society would figure out what its relationship to the truth was. Because, you know, when I was growing up, I was, tell the truth. I was going to tell the truth. Tell the truth. Be honest. And then when I became an adult and got a fairly significant platform, I told the truth and was honest and got canceled to hell and gone. So it's like, can you all figure out whether you want the truth or not? It would be really helpful to get some clear guidance on this. So, sorry, go ahead.
Caller
[31:34]You have to just realize, like, some people aren't going to like the truth and maybe those are the people you don't want to be around.
Stefan
[31:41]Yeah, generally, I found that if the truth serves those in power, then the truth is virtuous. If the truth doesn't serve those in power, it's bad. It's all just sort of power-based metrics. Okay, so let me ask you this. Congratulations on your child, of course.
Caller
[31:57]That was 14 years ago now.
Stefan
[31:59]All right. Time travel. Congratulations. We're back. Now, as a woman online, what is your experience of men as a whole?
Caller
[32:15]Um, well, I have a, I have a tiny YouTube channel and I write and edit books and because of, because of that, I, I have for about seven years now, because of that, what I have seen and I work in comics. So there's a lot of male viewers.
Stefan
[32:41]Um, Sorry, male what?
Caller
[32:45]Viewers.
Stefan
[32:45]Can you spell that i don't know what that word is.
Caller
[32:47]V-i-e-w-e-r-s viewers.
Stefan
[32:51]My apologies okay i know that word okay got it.
Caller
[32:54]Um there's there's a lot of men and they tend to be simps which i hate um okay.
Stefan
[33:02]So to tell me how you like how do you know i'm not disagreeing with you but what what are the signs help us understand understand classify and identify the common male simp.
Caller
[33:12]Well um the simp is someone who, will do anything for you, despite anything you do it's.
Stefan
[33:30]Just this push economy of like i'd love to help you move uh you go skiing i'll drop you off like just this offer of constant resources with no expectation or.
Caller
[33:40]Desire for reciprocity and they tend to flatter a lot but if you are if you're a woman and you want to be to to feed into those sims then your time online is really easy it's really easy to be a woman online if you give into the sims it's so much harder to and i'm not saying that to be like, oh, poor me. But, um, and it's because I'm not doing what I do for money. I'm not doing it for attention.
Stefan
[34:13]Like, wait, you don't do what you do. You mean online? You mean, but you have a job that pays. You're just talking about like your activities online.
Caller
[34:21]Yeah. Well, I'm a stay at home, married homeschool mom. So, okay.
Stefan
[34:24]Got it. Got it. So you're online for a course or for connection, but not for money. Okay.
Caller
[34:29]Yeah. And, and the, the stuff I do for money online is like supplemental fun time income um so so i'm i guess i'm lucky in that maybe but um if you are a woman who wants to uh show virtue online who doesn't want to play into the simpage it's a million times harder than it is to just play into the sims because all these little uh thoughts women um.
Stefan
[35:02]Sorry, thought women?
Caller
[35:03]Yeah, T-H-O-T, it means that hoe over there.
Stefan
[35:07]Yeah, yeah, I know the acronym. I've been accused of thought patrol myself, and I just wanted to make sure I understood it. Okay, so go ahead, sorry.
Caller
[35:14]All of those women tend to gather in flocks, and they'll attack you. If you so much as say, like, I got a huge amount of hate from a small group of people who have a lot of synth followers, because I said, oh, this person only lets women on who if they'll show their kids like this this person only lets women on if they'll do jumping jacks on stream and they'll call it like oh we're doing it for uh for physical purposes you know like we're working out and it's like no one believes that and i'm not going to debase myself and embarrass my family embarrass my legacy just for some views like.
Stefan
[35:58]No and listen i i don't want to debase the audience or myself by asking for the name of this channel you can just dm that to me after the show but uh sorry go on.
Caller
[36:05]Okay um well they these women get really mad when you say that and then their simps will fight on behalf of them and and that gets it's not scary because it's all online but it gets really stupid and and they'll they'll get violent it's it's kind of shocking but it's.
Stefan
[36:26]Well so on the other side of flattery is almost always aggression right so flattery is the carrot and if you don't go for the carrot they'll just give you the stick right like oh you're doing your civic duty by getting the vax you're a good person you care about your community if you don't get the vax you can't travel you can't have a like it's always if you don't fall for the flattery you know out comes the brass knuckles.
Caller
[36:49]Yeah if you're not with us then you're against us and it's time to attack you and they'll make up crazy stories and really.
Stefan
[36:58]Never heard of that but go on.
Caller
[37:01]Well, uh, this, this one other, um, creator decided to tell everyone, um, after I said people and they liked her because she shows, she bounces around and shows rubies online. Like that's the only reason why.
Stefan
[37:16]Now, sorry, when you say that, you don't mean like, like actual out, cause that's banned in a lot of places outside of OnlyFans. Do you mean just like cleavage and, and jello?
Caller
[37:26]This, this one woman in particular, she absolutely does. And she used to do it uh she used to sell pictures on herself and stuff online and her underwear and stuff and it's documented and it's all there um but then you know but i'm the bad guy the thing that happened was uh i said hello to her at a convention where she was selling her books because i figured i wasn't.
Stefan
[37:49]Sure that books was going to end with a k but go on.
Caller
[37:51]No it's comics now but i figured oh you know we both do comics like this is a professional courtesy i i said hi it lasted maybe 60 seconds she took that and told everyone that i spilled water on her books and so all her sims got mad at me and then uh one of the people that is much more popular um than both of us started started inflating the story and now i i i apparently walked over with a bottle of water and i spilled the entire thing on a stack of books and pointed and laughed and i'm like what world, does do people believe this because there's so many holes in the story because it's like oh so at a convention no one kicks you out when you do that you know aside from that i have i have uh an affiliation with liquid death and i only drink canned water because because plastic water freaks me out like you guys really think that i did that um i even i had no problem with her at the time you know it's just stacked on and on but it doesn't matter because i don't have simps what i built is actual people who want to read my books and communicate but it's smaller because of that but my idea was longevity and, uh, uh, self-respect, you know, building something that my kid could look at and say, like, my mom is good.
Caller
[39:18]Um, but, but yeah, it's, that's my general, uh, perspective on men and the ones, it's getting better now because the ones who aren't simps, um, are very- Sorry.
Stefan
[39:32]It's not the ones, it's the one, but go on. I'm just kidding, go ahead.
Caller
[39:38]Those are more than one, two aren't simps.
Stefan
[39:40]Not me, but go ahead.
[39:42]
The Nature of Simps
Caller
[39:43]Those ones are very, very, they're much more respectful of women in general than the simps, which is funny. And then there's a whole bunch more men who literally don't care about women online at all and won't pay attention to you whatsoever, or just based on the fact that you're a woman. So you're totally disregarded. I'm not a feminist. I'm pretty misogynistic myself. But a modern culture has created a bunch of men who don't care about women at all and a bunch of women who have a weird, creepy, daddy fascination with women and just throw money at them constantly.
Stefan
[40:30]A bunch of men who do that, right?
Caller
[40:32]Yeah. And then a smaller amount of normal men who just want women that will bring them peace.
Stefan
[40:44]Right, right. No, it is something that men stagger from decade to decade with maybe one or two compliments that aren't from their mom. You know, whereas women, you know, if you're online...
Caller
[40:57]Every day.
Stefan
[40:58]You can get, I mean, if you're even remotely prominent and an attractive woman, you can get thousands of compliments a day.
Caller
[41:05]You don't even have to be attractive because now you use um filters oh.
Stefan
[41:11]Yes that's right.
Caller
[41:12]It's so crazy that i can see filters immediately but it's like men men don't see them at all it's okay i'm like they don't have there's some sort of thing in some people's minds where they can't see ai right away and they can't see filters right away well.
Stefan
[41:29]It's because they've spent all their time looking at video game girls and they can't tell an actual human female for real.
Caller
[41:35]Like her eyelashes are floating like levitating.
Stefan
[41:41]Spiders near the eyeballs yeah.
Caller
[41:42]Yeah but but or maybe it's that they want to believe that that women are more attractive than they actually are um i'm not sure but, that's that's just a thing that we have to deal with as people which is why i just tell people don't be on apps um just go meet people in real life because you can't use a filter in real life and you can tell when a woman is wearing makeup in real life um and how much um because there's degrees for sure.
Stefan
[42:15]Yeah, it would be like if I had a voice that was kind of like this, but I used some filter, and then I would never want to meet people online. "Hey, I'm Stefan Molyneux, from Freedomain. How are you doing?" You'd be like, whoa, filter much, bro? I think you do. I think you do. Yeah, it must be wild. I mean, I remember when I was in high school, there was a girl after a cast party. We were in our town. There was a girl I took home because she was very drunk. And she was so drunk, she draped all over me. It's like, yeah, Stef, you're gorgeous, but you flirt with everyone. And I was like, wait, what? Okay, forget the flirting thing. That's kind of true. But, and that was the only time in high school or sort of in my youth that I was ever called attractive. And, you know, later I got scouted for modeling. So it was a little bit more of that, but nothing too serious, of course. But, you know, men just, you know, remember, oh yes, I remember that time, you know, 12 years ago when that woman said I had a nice smile. And that's what we live on. We live on these tiny, tiny scraps of water in this endless desert that women are drowning in. And I can't imagine, I literally can't imagine what it would be like to receive that level of adulation just for breathing and having baby feeders. Like it's wild.
Caller
[43:28]That is crazy because every single man that I have spoken to in basically my life now has said, I can count on my hands how many times I've received a compliment, even from family.
Stefan
[43:45]Right which.
Caller
[43:46]Is insane it's like oh yeah i do remember 20 years ago when a girl said that my hair looked nice and it made my week you know and then it's like i can count on what on both hands how many times i got complimented in the store today and and you know it's like i wasn't even wearing makeup and the hair was up like it doesn't matter and even if it wasn't really you know because i don't think when women compliment each other it's real most of the time.
Stefan
[44:11]Yeah men trade fake insults women trade fake compliments right and i talk about this with my wife and daughter we have sort of a running gag about their pretty privilege you know uh oh would you like a little extra donut with your coffee i'm like oh pretty privilege you know uh oh look at look at the size of my ice cream and my wife's ice cream pretty privilege and uh so it is it's just and it's not it's beautiful there's nothing wrong with it uh although i it wouldn't be the end of the world if men got a few more compliments but i think because men are kind of the dray horses and in some sense It's the tax serfs of the modern society. You don't want to give them any particular praise because then they might not want to be subjugated and exploited in that kind of way.
Caller
[44:50]Well, I think a lot of men don't believe it now when they get a compliment. You know, they kind of push away.
Stefan
[44:58]Yeah, where's my wallet? Where's my watch? Somebody just complimented me.
Caller
[45:01]Yeah, but also on that same note, I've actually, I've never spoken to, a man who has, or let me rephrase, uh, so the same way that, um, every man I know has received very few compliments, every man I know has stories of women physically attacking them in relationships in absolutely horrific and shocking ways. Yep. And the. The problem with with men being physically attacked in relationships um i'm sure you know this you've talked about it but um they're not allowed legally societally to do anything about it and the women.
Stefan
[45:54]Know that right.
Caller
[45:54]Yeah well and every man who i've talked to said that they have a moment with with the exception of my husband so they have a moment where they felt guilty, for for being physically attacked by the woman that they were with right and that is insane to me um and and this is gonna be um shocking to people but in that way i think abuse is much worse on men than it is on women because they have no recourse a lot of times they're not believed like my uh my husband his ex from years and years ago now um she threw scissors at him and they got stuck in his back at when she threw them. And he had to basically, he couldn't reach them. So he had to basically suffer the indignity of asking her to pull the scissors out of his back.
Stefan
[46:54]Hopefully she'll pull, not push. Yeah. I had a roommate once whose girlfriend attacked him with a bread knife. Yeah it's wild i mean.
Caller
[47:04]And sorry go ahead oh i was gonna say um i've had experiences too but i feel like i got over them much quicker than any guy i've ever spoken to because all the guys were like now i avoid brunettes you know no no i don't think that's.
Stefan
[47:21]The cause and effect brother.
Caller
[47:23]Well well it's like because now every time i see a brunette i just have this image of this girl hitting me you know or i have a friend who was in uh such an abusive relationship for almost two years that he wasn't allowed to leave his house she threw his phone away and hid his laptop and and he was haggard like it was so depressing and no one could get a hold of him um and she she was totally psychotic and it was it was very difficult to pull him out of that and he's still um he's not the same man in any way no and.
Stefan
[47:57]There there's very little support of course i had the great erin pizzi.
Caller
[48:01]On my show.
Stefan
[48:02]And she tried opening up a men's shelter for victims of abuse and the feminists uh threatened and and and crazy stuff and all of that and yeah men get almost no support from men or from women the man is generally perceived to be a fault what did you do to provoke occur, which again, would never go the other way. And, you know, all power corrupts. And the fact that women are generally not held to account for false accusations, the fact that women are generally not held to account for physical violence, the fact that in many jurisdictions, you can't even classify forced to penetrate as the rape of a male, which is shockingly common. It is a very distorted view that people live in. And our inability to process women's capacity for evil is literally destroying our civilization but sorry go ahead.
Caller
[48:49]I was just saying unless they're a child.
Stefan
[48:52]Unless they're what.
Caller
[48:52]A child right um i think boys still um have more help in that area than than men do not, I think we, I think we as a society tend to protect boys now for a little while. It wasn't.
Stefan
[49:13]Yeah. I mean, listen, you, you're, you, you have a son, I have a daughter and they're not dissimilar in a, sorry.
Caller
[49:19]I have a daughter.
Stefan
[49:20]Oh, you have a daughter. Oh, sorry. I thought it was a son. Uh, you know, uh, I don't think that the boys are doing too well in society at the moment. And I think, uh, in, in schools and in the media and so on, uh, it is.
Caller
[49:32]Oh, in schools, it's terrible. Yeah.
Stefan
[49:34]Yeah. But I mean, that's why you homeschool, I guess, to some degree, right?
Caller
[49:37]Oh, yeah.
Stefan
[49:37]Yeah.
[49:38]
Value Exchange in Relationships
Caller
[49:38]Um, one of the reasons, um, but on that, on a similar note from what you started with about the ring, um, I wanted to say, well, while it is true that historically men, uh, do greater things for women than men do.
Stefan
[49:58]Than women do for men, you mean?
Caller
[50:00]Yeah, than women do for men. um there's only one of those rings, so i i agree with you but not all men are capable of or have the time to or think about doing something that cool and uh intricate and um okay.
Stefan
[50:25]Then i and of course i'm not saying that every man is a master jeweler but you know men turn over 90 of their productivity to their wives and kids over the course of their life, right? So my question is always like, okay, but what are women doing in return? And listen, I'm not saying that women can't, but I think for a lot of women, it doesn't cross their mind. And maybe it's a psyop of this, I am the table, I don't bring anything to the table, but I just, you know, I want women to be happy. I want them to be treasured. I want them to be in love. And in order to be treasured and happy and in love, the value you provide to your partner has to be incontrovertible. It has to be so obvious that you're like falling on your knees every day to thank them for what it is that they're doing. And both parties should be doing that. And I just, if women can't appreciate what is being provided to them and they can't be grateful and they can't be happy with the sacrifices men made, pair bonding doesn't really happen. And then you just flitting around till age takes you out of the game.
Caller
[51:18]Yeah. It requires women to, to be self-reflective, which, which requires pushing away the the veil of narcissism that we're kind of gifted um well and it's inflicted yeah yeah, that's the better way to put it because it's it's a it's a tragedy really um, We should be harsher on women in that way.
Stefan
[51:48]Well, I think just more blunt and saying that being in possession of a vagina does not mean that you are somehow immune from the need to provide value in a relationship. Absolutely. I was just thinking this afternoon, I was going to do a show on it, but I thought, I can't imagine as a man, you know, my inbox filling up with men who want to fly me to Barbados for a weekend and who want to take me to Vegas. And who like just this endless lottery of like people who, women who want to give me resources just for the possibility of having sex with me. And it's just like, that would distort anybody's sense of reality. And then you go to the media and the women are all brilliant and wonderful and
[52:31]
Media Influence on Women
Stefan
[52:28]kick ass and take on five guys and are geniuses. And it's just like, it's absolutely relentless. And then you turn on pop songs and she's the victim and the guy's bad and she didn't do anything wrong and he's just a jerk and and it's just like it's relentless and i i don't blame women for this in general because i'm not sure i'd survive i can say well no i i don't i don't fall for propaganda it's like yeah who's trying to propagandize my wrinkly old ass right i mean so it is it is a whole different world that women live in in terms of that sort of pressure sorry go ahead.
Caller
[53:01]Um we're really susceptible to um lyrical content much more than men and in my years homeschooling seeing boys and girls um in homeschool environments uh the music that girls listen to completely changes their um perception of life in every way and i can look back on my high school years and i'm like if i hadn't been allowed to listen to some of the stuff i've listened to then i don't think that i would have had the same 20s that i did have because it was all um you know evanescence in lincoln park and i'm so tortured and and the bodies.
Stefan
[53:51]Hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor yeah and.
Caller
[53:54]That's why you know i call my i called my grandparents and I said, I am so sorry. Everything that you said and your parents said is 100% true down to Elvis's gyrating hips. Right. And people can laugh, and that's fine, but I don't think societally it's deniable. But I have seen a lot of people in my generation, from the one right below me, making a lot of positive changes in a gender-slash-sexual segregation kind of manner, where it's like, well, boys are this, and girls are this, and we just have to teach them how to be that yin-yang thing together. And it's not easy, because you have to, you know, it's like in the NeverEnding Story, when Atreyu has to go and look in the mirror, and he has to face his true self, and he says, some men run away screaming. It's the same for women, but we'll cry.
[55:06]
The Burden of Expectations
Caller
[55:03]And then someone will come over and hug us and say, oh, you don't have to change.
Stefan
[55:07]Or the women avoid the true self until they're 45 and uh it's a little too late for whatever it is that they want to do and i remember very clearly when i was in my teens detoxing from pink floyd with john anderson uh because it's a much more positive message all right listen we've got a bunch of people who want to chat obviously you're welcome back at any time it was a real delight to chat with you and one.
Caller
[55:29]More quick thing.
Stefan
[55:30]Yeah yeah go for it.
Caller
[55:30]Um i just wanted to Thank you for helping me tell my family that I didn't want to do Santa's. Because it's because of you that I didn't do Santa, and I think it has created a lot of positives for my kids.
Stefan
[55:48]Yeah, I mean, I dressed up as Santa for kids from time to time, but I'd always tell them it's a fun story. I mean, you don't play to them how to train your dragon and say that's real, that's a historical documentary. You say that's a fun story, and kids enjoy that, and I'm glad that that worked out for you. All right. Thanks, Emil. You're welcome back anytime. What a real pleasure to chat with you. And thank you. Oh, I can't praise you. Sorry, you're a female. I'm simping. God, help me. All right. Yvonne. I know how to pronounce that because I've seen the name before. Yvonne. Yvonne. Yvonne? Yvonne. Yvonne. Yvonneka. What's on your mind? Oh, I got to check my volume here because last lady was quiet. Going once, going once. Yes, go ahead.
Caller
[56:35]Yeah hi uh so i just came in i don't know when this started but i came in when you stated that you uh started some process of you know or let me let me strike that you stated that when you were growing up people always told you tell the truth tell the truth tell the truth and then when you got to a point where you were telling the truth uh and then you said some kind of like cracker joke in reference to people not wanting to hear the truth, correct?
Stefan
[57:06]Yeah, I got canceled and kicked off just about every major platform known to man, God, and the devil.
[57:11]
The Costs of Truth
Stefan
[57:12]And that was for things that were scientifically true and factual and, you know, real suspicions about the origin of COVID in the lab. And of course, wanting to push back against the George Floyd riots by bringing the truth about George Floyd to the masses. So So, yes, everybody told me growing up, you know, it's really you got to tell the truth. Don't lie. And then you get any kind of platform. You tell the truth and it's like, oh, you told the truth. You're toast, man.
Caller
[57:40]Okay, so I just wanted to start right there because that's where I stepped in on the conversation. So I heard a few things that you guys were discussing. I don't know what the question was. But back to the truth thing, I did hear you guys saying something in reference to most people don't want to hear the truth.
Caller
[58:00]Most people don't want to hear the hard, cold truth. Now, me as an individual, I'm someone who says the hard truth. I don't give a shit who I offend, okay? If you don't like what I said, well, then you can just close your ears. So this is what I'm going to say. I heard you guys both going back and forth in reference to women and men, and women are this, and men are this, and women are this, and men are this. This is my truth, okay? I was raised by an alcoholic father that used to beat my mother, okay? So I have a whole different perspective.
Caller
[58:38]I, when I got into a relationship, my ex used to beat me. So the cycle continued, right? So when I hear people talk about men this and women this, and women think they got, women have an automatic privilege and, you know, men are abusers and such, such. Because I've gotten a lot of therapy, but I guess my main point in saying this is it's not one-sided. This is just my beef with the world and people believing that we have this thing where we'll go, yeah, it's them. It's the women. No, no, no, it's the men. No, no, no. It's both. It's both. It's not one-sided. Women, okay, yeah I'll accept the fact that Yeah, we grow up Having this privilege This thing you call pretty privilege You know what?
Caller
[59:32]I don't think I'm an ugly duckling. You know, I'm not horribly looking.
Caller
[59:38]My sisters actually and my nieces were models. So I personally, I never get compliments. I never get told, oh, your hair looks nice. Oh, you're so pretty. I never get that. So when you guys were discussing, you know, women are constantly getting complimented and gifted and this, that, and the other. You know, that's not my personal experience. I never get complimented. I never get for anything from family to friends to just strangers in the street. So I don't know that world. But again, I have a sister who was a model and I saw her get that. Gifts, dates, trips, the whole, everything you guys just said. So yes, that's true, but I'm going to take it a step back. I grew up, was raised with a mother who prayed and was in church, who believed in God. Now, we all had the choice to choose. We want to go down this way, we want to go down this way. I chose the church side. So my nose was in the Bible while my sister was in the club partying. So this is what, I guess I'm going to land it right here. I believe that really what it comes down to, now my ex, he used to beat the shit out of me. We used to beat the shit out of each other, okay?
Caller
[1:01:01]We both were raised in very unstable homes, and so we beat the shit out of each other. But I guess my main point in saying this is that it comes down to that individual person and the choices that they decide and how they want to treat another individual, be it male or female. And I'll leave it at that, okay? Take care, guys.
Stefan
[1:01:21]Are you leaving?
Caller
[1:01:23]No, no, I just want to leave it there.
[1:01:27]
Navigating Personal Experiences
Stefan
[1:01:26]Oh, okay, got it, got it.
Caller
[1:01:27]It's not just one-sided. It just frustrates me when you guys got this viewpoint that it's one-sided. It's not. It takes two to ten.
Stefan
[1:01:36]But hang on. When on earth did I ever say it's one-sided? So let me sort of tell you what. Hang on, hang on. Hang on, hang on. You had a good old time to talk. Let me talk now.
Caller
[1:01:48]Well, you asked me a question, so I was trying to answer.
Stefan
[1:01:51]Okay, so sorry. I certainly never said that it was one-sided. And I don't remember the woman saying it was one-sided either.
Caller
[1:01:59]I heard a lot of those bad women are always getting away with shit. This is what I heard.
Stefan
[1:02:09]No, no, but it doesn't matter what you heard. What matters is what was said. Because you can't just make up things and then that's a straw man, right?
Caller
[1:02:16]This is the message that I received.
Stefan
[1:02:18]Okay, but that's not fair. You have to listen to what people say and deal with what they say, right? Okay. So we were talking about how men can be victimized as well. And this is an, would you, would you say that female victims of domestic abuse generally get more sympathy and resources than male victims of domestic abuse?
Caller
[1:02:39]No.
Stefan
[1:02:40]No. Well, where are the men's shelters in your town? Where's the men's domestic abuse awareness month?
Caller
[1:02:47]Here, let me, let me give you an example.
Stefan
[1:02:49]No, no, I don't need an example. I'm not looking for your personal anecdotes. Where are, hang on, hang on. Where are the male shelters for victims of domestic abuse who are men?
Caller
[1:03:01]In my neighborhood.
Stefan
[1:03:03]How many of them are there compared to women?
Caller
[1:03:06]I wouldn't know the stats on that, but I actually used to work at a few.
Stefan
[1:03:10]Okay, so in your particular neighborhood, there are as many shelters for men as there are for women?
[1:03:18]
Male Victims of Abuse
Caller
[1:03:17]Yes, sir.
Stefan
[1:03:18]Okay. Do you think that's true in general?
Caller
[1:03:25]I don't know.
Stefan
[1:03:28]But you've worked in the field, right?
Caller
[1:03:31]Yes.
Stefan
[1:03:32]Okay. Do you know that... I don't know if it's even changed, but certainly up until recently, there was no collection of data on men being raped by women. It was considered impossible.
Caller
[1:03:48]I wouldn't know anything about that subject.
Stefan
[1:03:52]Okay. So do you think that in general, women get more sympathy for their suffering in society or men get more sympathy for their suffering? Or is it about the same? Are you still on?
Caller
[1:04:20]It's females that pretty much get more sympathy, but not in my case.
Stefan
[1:04:25]Well, okay. I know, I know, and not in your case. And listen, what you went through as a child, I have nothing but absolute...
Caller
[1:04:32]This is not about my childhood. This is about my personal experience with domestic violence and the court systems and how they treated many women in my community, which was lopsided. Meaning, I know a lot of people think, oh, the women are always treated nicely, and the men always get the shit under the stick. Well, I'm here to tell you that's not true.
Stefan
[1:04:55]Well, I don't think that that's ever been asserted, at least not on this show.
Caller
[1:05:00]Well, I mean, I think in general, most people think that women who go to court, divorce, child custody, etc., etc. Oh, that's true.
Stefan
[1:05:09]Yeah, no, that's absolutely, hang on, hang on. So 90% of custody battles go to the female.
Caller
[1:05:17]Right. Well, not in my case.
Stefan
[1:05:19]Okay, but we're not talking about you in particular. Because you can't come...
Caller
[1:05:23]Let me finish, sir. Not in my case and a lot of women that I know, because I used to work in that realm, if you can understand what I'm stating.
Stefan
[1:05:33]Okay, so let me tell you what bothers me about this. And listen, what happened to you as a kid? What happened to you as a wife? I need to talk. I need to talk. I need, okay. You're either going to let me talk or I'm going to dump you from the call. Okay. No, no, no, no.
Caller
[1:05:51]No, no, no. It's not about me. It's about.
Stefan
[1:05:55]No, I'm just, that's, that's just incredibly rude. I mean, I gave her like six or seven chances. So what bothers me about that kind of stuff? And of course, you know, massive sympathy for Yvonne and what she suffered as a child and what she suffered as a wife. Absolutely appalling, crippling, awful, evil violations of the non-aggression principle. Absolutely unacceptable. But here's the thing.
Stefan
[1:06:16]It is a constant thing in society, a constant pattern in society that men say, here's how we suffer a little bit, and in come the women. Oh, but I suffered. Oh, but all my friends. And it's like, can we just, can men just have a chance to say that we suffer sometimes? Is that at all possible? Or is it just like, but the women? And no, of course, women get vastly more support for their issues. And men get less. Again, there's lots of individual exceptions, but it's a general trend that holds true. And it's really tough. It's really tough for people to listen to men. And this was pretty mild stuff, right? This was just like, well, men don't really get that many compliments and boys are treated badly in school. This was pretty, pretty mild stuff. And she was talking about the men that she knew who had experienced physical abuse in relationships. And I mentioned someone that I knew when I was younger who'd experienced physical danger in relationships. I know men who've had knives pulled on them. I know men who've had guns pulled on them. Just one. And can we talk about that without women coming in and saying, but my husband beat me. And it's like, it's almost like a summoning ritual, so to speak.
[1:07:32]
Engaging the Audience
Stefan
[1:07:31]And it's really tough for people. All right, Sethy Seth, I am all ears, my friend. What is on your mind?
Stefan
[1:07:41]I know there's a little bit of a delay here, but, hello, hello, hello.
Stefan
[1:07:53]All right, it looks like you need to unmute if you're going to talk. I guess everybody kind of knows that, but just want to remind you. All right, we are not, uh we are not able to do that legionnaire legionnaire anon if you want to unmute i'm all ears, legionnaire anon i don't think i muted everyone did i mute everyone nah not even a little bit not even a little bit, All right. Hello, hello. Going once, going twice. We have lost the plot. Dorbens, I think we've chatted before. If you want to unmute, I'm all ears.
Caller
[1:08:48]Hello, Stef.
Stefan
[1:08:49]Hello.
Caller
[1:08:50]Hi, can you hear me?
Stefan
[1:08:51]Yes, go ahead.
Caller
[1:08:52]Perfect. Sorry, I jumped into the call fairly late, so I'm not sure if there's like a specific topic you want to focus on.
Stefan
[1:08:59]Whatever's on your mind, brother. I'm easy peasy.
Caller
[1:09:01]Awesome. Cool. So I'm kind of in a dilemma at the moment where I'm trying to, I guess, understand what's the word I'm looking for here. So I'm going to try to be vague, but a Chinese national has purchased a specific property in my area. And I'm trying to motivate the people in my town to do something about it. And for some reason, I'm preparing everything, making a website, trying to get people motivated about it because I only learned about it a few days ago.
Stefan
[1:09:45]And what is this, sorry, just to be clear, what is it, you're not talking about a torches and pitchfork mob. What is it that you would like people to do ideally?
Caller
[1:09:54]Well, to hold their mayor and the board of committee responsible for not making the town aware that this Chinese national was buying this particular area that's in a very sensitive spot, because they're going to have control over part of the water. And of course, there's like defense contractors around as well. So it's, it's quite, quite scary.
Stefan
[1:10:19]Okay. And what is the ways in which I could help you, perhaps?
Caller
[1:10:26]I guess for me, I'm trying to stay motivated in the face of other people's indifference because I faced this during COVID because I lived in a fairly big city when COVID happened. And I tried to convince quite a few people that I know to leave the city with me. And let's just say it was not the most successful of things. And I just fear that I'm probably falling into the same pattern where I might be trying too hard.
Stefan
[1:11:01]What do you mean by trying too hard?
Caller
[1:11:03]Well, as in, I just feel, I haven't, again, I've just learned about this for the past few days, but most of the people that I've talked to so far don't seem to grasp the potential danger. And it feels like I'm the crazy one for not seeing the potential danger of this.
Stefan
[1:11:22]Right.
Caller
[1:11:22]And, yeah, I'm just trying to remain positive and push forward and trying to motivate people who will actually do something about it, you know? Because not every person I'm going to come across is going to care about this matter in particular, but I want to be able to stay motivated. And I guess I'm trying not to fall into feeling how I felt during COVID, if that makes sense.
Stefan
[1:11:48]Right. So, give me your pitch. We used to say in the business world or the investment world, your elevator pitch, right? So, you get into an elevator with someone who could invest in your company. So, give me the pitch that you want to get me involved in your cause as if we were in the elevator and you have 60 seconds. What do you got?
Caller
[1:12:11]Okay so i would say something to the effect of look, in china they have issues currently at the moment with their own water supply and i can understand that it might be a touchy subject to try and focus on a foreign national company coming into your town and taking over things and maybe that might create problems when you're talking to people who are either from china or things like that but if the evidence i'm providing you here um in terms of uh you know their water pollution their overfishing just every environmental thing that they're involved in it always ends in catastrophe and i just think that we need to uh be a aware of this and be hold our elected officials responsible for the things that they clearly are not aware of or do anything about. And I just think that our water supply obviously should be something that we're very concerned about, given that we have a history of pushing people out of our city who have caused pollutions before in the past. So I think that, you know, obviously do your own research, but I think it's a very serious problem that we should be talking about more and really getting everyone motivated about.
Stefan
[1:13:37]And how that speech has not been doing what you wanted to do, right?
Caller
[1:13:41]Well, it's still fairly early on.
Stefan
[1:13:45]Sorry, you're calling me because it's not working, right?
Caller
[1:13:49]Well, not necessarily. The thing is that there are some people who will be supporting me. I'm trying to avoid this. I feel this appending indifference. Is more or less what I'm trying to focus on because it's been half and half in terms of how I pitch it to people and them getting it and accepting it, if that makes sense.
Stefan
[1:14:13]Right, right.
[1:14:15]
Addressing Community Concerns
Stefan
[1:14:16]Okay, so your major concern is that it's a communist entity that's taking over the water supply and it's going to wreck the environmental standards in the neighborhood, right?
Caller
[1:14:27]Yes.
Stefan
[1:14:28]Okay. So it's going to destroy people's property values and the water could become dangerous if what you're saying is true. And you're going to have people who don't share your values in control of a precious resource that you put into your children's bellies.
Stefan
[1:14:44]So, I mean, you were there for COVID, right? What you have to do is, first of all, you have to figure out if people care, right? Do you have kids, right? What do you think of China, right? Do you like communism, whatever it is, right? Like, do you dislike communism or whatever it is? What do you think of the environment, right? So, you know, the Chinese are terrible with the environment and they're taking over the water supply. That is absolutely going to endanger our community. We need to do something. Here's the specific thing I want you to do. I want you to call City Hall. I want you to sign this petition. I want you to go to this website, have a card. It is absolutely essential. We do this. We have to protect our communities. We have to protect the water supply. We have to keep our children safe. You have to hit people. Rather, the vague thing when you listen back to it, it's like, oh, it'd be kind of nice. And you know, there may be some concerns. That's too foggy. People need simple, clear, direct messages. They need to be motivated either by fear or greed or love. Now, in this case, you can't really do greed, but you have fear of negative things and love of their children and perhaps hatred of communism or something like that, right? And you'd want to go to the church because the church has traditionally been pretty hostile to communism because, I mean, the communists regularly kill priests whenever they take over. So you need to figure out where you're going to go and you need to be emphatic. Now, I'll tell you this, man, one of the toughest things in life is to be emphatic and direct and passionate without people being able to write you off as crazy.
Caller
[1:16:09]Right.
Stefan
[1:16:10]Right. And, and so the only way, the only way that you can be emphatic and passionate without being considered crazy. Do you know, do you know what the difference is? Like, do you know how to do that?
Caller
[1:16:26]Um, yeah. No, I don't know.
Stefan
[1:16:32]Okay. Crazy people need you to agree with them. And that desperation is what discredits their message. I'm not saying that's you. I'm not calling you crazy or anything like that. I'm just saying that if it's like, I'm doing this for your benefit, I'm willing to take this bullet. All you have to do is X. If you are 150% certain of the righteousness and justice of your cause and that you're there to help people, not, oh, I need you to make up for all of the trauma I suffered over COVID when people didn't listen to me, then it's about you and people will recoil.
Stefan
[1:17:08]So, so people, I mean, you can see this on X occasionally, right? So people will say, oh gosh, what was it about? There was something floating around that, um, oh, uh, I, I'm mad at atheists because atheists complied over COVID because atheists complied over COVID. I couldn't travel to my father's funeral. And therefore that's why I am mad at atheists, right? They try to make it personal. You know, like, well, Stef was raised by a violent, crazy woman, and that's why he's got issues with women or something like that, right? So what they'll try and do is they'll try and make it psychological rather than factual. And so if you have any doubt or you will feel bad if people say no, or you have some emotional reason and why people need to listen to you.
Stefan
[1:17:57]They won't listen to you. I mean, it's one of these sad things. It's one of the, if you show fear, it's like, you know, you ever have this thing where you're a kid and there's this big, big ass growly dog there and somebody says to you and it's towering over you like a Great Dane and somebody says to you, oh, just don't show any fear and you're like, bro, I already wet myself. You know, how am I supposed to not? But it's one of these things. If you're afraid of talking to a woman and you show fear, then she's going to say no. But if you don't show fear, she's more likely to say yes as a whole. The funny thing about the Me Too movement is the Me Too movement just stopped sensitive guys from approaching women. The insensitive jerks will continue to do it. They just filtered out all the good guys and put out blanket invitations for the bad guys.
[1:18:37]
The Importance of Conviction
Stefan
[1:18:38]So if you are 150% convinced of the righteousness and importance of your cause for other people, you're doing it for them. It's not about your ego. It's not about you being in charge. It is for them. This is what has sustained me for like 40 plus years is, you know, when people say, oh, Stef, you say this negative thing about this group or women or the, it's like, I want them to be happy. I absolutely completely and totally want people to be happy. Oh, you're, you're, you know, you're, you're, you're really harsh on abusive parents. It's like, well, yeah, yeah, because I don't want people to abuse their children because their children will end up unhappy. And that's the, of course, the door, the world my daughter has to.
Stefan
[1:19:20]And so I'm blunt and firm with people because I want them to be happy. It's not about me being right. It's not about me winning or dominating. And that's why I think, you know, not to pat myself. I mean, Lord knows I've made tons of mistakes, but not to pat myself on the back too much, right? But just to say, I think that's why, as far as philosophy goes, I'm really compelling because I'm like here, for instance, I'm not trying to have you think I'm right. I'm not trying to have you think I'm cool. I'm genuinely trying to help you achieve your goal through commitment. The most committed in any conflict will always win, the most consistent and the most committed. And so you have to be like, I don't know if you've heard of this thing. We've got these people coming in from China. They don't care about environmental standards. I mean, my God, the Yangtze River is a sewage fest, right? They don't care about the stuff. They're taking over a water supply. It's really dangerous. It's going to harm your property. It's going to harm your kids. It's going to harm the cohesiveness of the community. This is one of these times where you just have to do something. Now, fortunately, you don't have to, you know, sell your house and join the Moonies. All you have to do is, and then just give them something to do. And I'm going to circle back. I'm going to check you did it. Promise me you're going to do it. I'm telling you, this is for your benefit, not mine. And that's the best way to convince people is to be fully committed to what is the best thing for them.
Stefan
[1:20:41]And if you're certain of that, it's almost irresistible. If it's about you, people won't listen. I mean, I know it's not rational, on, but that's just the way people work, if that makes sense.
Caller
[1:20:51]Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think it's, I think it is that because I had the urge to just, um, to just move. Um, I mean, it's obviously something that's, that's continuously in the back of my head. It's just like, you know, I, the way I dealt with the COVID situation,
[1:21:11]
Motivating Others
Caller
[1:21:09]I just moved to a place that was better.
Stefan
[1:21:11]You know? and at some point that's that's fine like that's fine too but what that does is it lowers the stakes like if you have to convince the people because you can't move then there's a kind of desperation and it's just it's sad but true the confident salesman is the one who sells the one who doesn't need the sale is the one who sells the one who's desperate for the sale is the one who doesn't sell so you can move and you say listen i can move maybe you can't i can go somewhere else but maybe you can't maybe your kids are tied into the school maybe there's a whole little league thing here. Maybe your wife is part of a bridge club that she'll never leave behind. Maybe your whole family is here and you can't move. I'm willing to take this on, even though I could move because I know it's the right thing for the community. I really need your help. And it's for your benefit. I'm promising you that. And just, you know, in your core that it is for their benefit. And people sense that at a very sort of deep level. And people are always sniffing for people who are basing things on ego or desperation or some prior trauma or something like that. And I'm not saying that's you, of course, in particular, but if people sense that you are really dedicated to what's best for them and you're willing to take the bullets and do most of the work, but they just have to do X, Y, or Z, they're much more likely to listen.
Caller
[1:22:24]Wow. Thank you so much for that.
Stefan
[1:22:28]You are very welcome. You're very welcome. And drop me a line, of course, host at freedomain.com. Let me know how it's going. And good for you for doing what you're doing. All right. Seth is asked to speak again. Maybe he got his tech issues sorted out. Seth, don't leave me hanging. Don't do it. Don't talk block me, friend. Come on, man. Come on, man. No, no, no. All right. Richard, right. You are back, my friend. Vos is on your mind.
Caller
[1:23:06]Hello?
Stefan
[1:23:07]Hello.
Caller
[1:23:09]Hey, sorry about that. It cut out last time. No sweat, no sweat. So my question was, what is your philosophy on when or how you encourage your children to go from following your direction or wisdom to choosing more on their own, maybe in a situation that wouldn't be what you would choose, but it's not necessarily wrong or majorly impactful.
Stefan
[1:23:44]Can you give me a real or a theoretical scenario? I just want to make sure I'm targeting the answer to something that means something to you.
Caller
[1:23:54]Yeah. I mean, I have a few young kids between two and seven.
[1:24:01]
Encouraging Independent Thinking
Caller
[1:24:02]And you can see their independent nature and they're like, oh, this is a good idea. I want to do this. I think this would be good. I think it would be helpful or I think it's good for me. But obviously there is a bigger picture wisdom and experience that you have as a parent that you're like, good thought but here's some extra, information to why we shouldn't probably do that today, but over time I don't think you would want to I'm just thinking about this about how over time if you are always guiding them back to your answer, you know what is the philosophy how are you building them up to also then be thinking on their own taking responsibility for their actions their thoughts what they think actually do some critical thinking, and make a decision maybe even in spite of, what makes sense to you as their parent do.
Stefan
[1:25:06]You work in a very abstract field as a whole.
Caller
[1:25:11]Um, can you define that? Abstract field.
Stefan
[1:25:14]I mean, you're not working directly with like machinery and with your hands and stuff like that, right?
Caller
[1:25:18]Uh, no. Okay.
Stefan
[1:25:20]Because I asked you for a specific example and you didn't give me, you just gave me more theoretical frameworks. I'm like, bro's an accountant or something like that. Cause I'm like, you could just say, I say, Hey Richard, could you give me a specific example? Just tell me no, no, I refuse. I'm going to spin more platonic words than you can spit into a spider web. All right, no, that's fine.
Caller
[1:25:42]No, I'm sorry. I generally think abstractly, but I didn't think of it that way before. All right.
Stefan
[1:25:47]I'm going to give you the concept of concrete and call it a house. All right.
Caller
[1:25:51]Right.
Stefan
[1:25:52]Okay, so in general, you know, there's lots of different ways to do it, and each child is different. What I have found helpful is not to give them answers, but to teach them the questions to ask, right?
Caller
[1:26:02]Mm-hmm.
Stefan
[1:26:03]Which is, I want to ride my bike without a helmet. Now you got to put your helmet on, you know, now, um, you take an egg and you smash it against the wall. So, no, but you say, okay, so how nice is it to ride without the helmet? You know, like one to 10, 10 being, you know, uh, a candy mosh pit at Disneyland and one being, I don't know, one of dad's long stories. Right. So, and they'd say, oh, it's a three. Right. And I say, okay, well, how bad is it if you fall and, you know, really crack your head? Cause you know, you're learning how to ride the bike and, you know, whatever. It's easy, right? You just, you hit one rock, you skid, there's gravel, could be any number of things, right? You'd go up the curb at the wrong angle, down you go, right? So how bad is it to crack your head versus how good is it to feel the wind in your hair? Which, you know, if memory serves and it's been a while, it was pretty nice, right? So you ask them those questions and just get them to do that cost-benefit analysis.
Stefan
[1:27:05]Now, again, that's not perfect, right? Because it's only when they're younger, you just, you know, you put the helmet on, we have to wear a helmet. Why? Because I don't want you to get injured, blah, blah, blah. Right. But they have to start balancing risk when they get older and telling kids, you know, what are the pluses and what are the minuses? And I mean, I've had to do these calculations as I'm sort of rounding the home stretch to 60, which is there are things that I would like, my daughter jumps off a big wall, right? And I'm like, that would be fun.
Stefan
[1:27:34]Unless it hurts my knee, my ankle, my hip, or my back, in which case I could be laid up for a long time. So I have to do these costs. And it's different. When I was younger, I didn't even think twice. I'd do what she did, just jump off the wall, right? And I'm like, it could be fine, but I do this cost-benefit analysis. And these days I generally don't. I mean, the stuff I will do i'll go you know paddle boarding and and i'll go swimming and uh and all of that and i'll i'll do some i go rock climbing still from time to time so but that's all relatively safe right but when it comes to just like the other day my daughter and i were out uh and there was a um at a school there was a running long jump.
Stefan
[1:28:18]My daughter is like a complete toad grasshopper when it comes to the long jump. It's crazy. Like she basically sprouts wings. She's a Pegasus. And she does a great jump. And she's like, dad, you should do it. And listen, a couple of years ago, I did it. I just sprinted and jumped. But now I'm like, okay, the sprinting I can do, I know I can still sprint. But if I jump and I land and something happens to my knee, because this happened to me years ago, it took like eight months to get better. And it's just cost benefit. What's the, the benefit is like, wow, it'd be cool if I did that, that's fun. But the downside is pretty significant, right? So getting kids to do the cost benefit analysis is really important. And rather than saying, well, you probably shouldn't do it because of X, Y, and Z say, okay, let's, let's talk about it, right? What's the plus, what's the minus, what's the good, what's the bad, and, and so on. And getting them to do that cost benefit analysis, because that cost benefit analysis is going to be really important when they hit that drinking drugs and sex peer pressure in their teens, right? Because they're going to have to do, you know, you can say don't do it. And of course, that's the right to avoid it. But they're still going to have to do a cost benefit analysis, which is, okay, so if I have a drink, then I'm not going to be looked at as weird by my friends. And you know, that look, you know, nerd, whatever it is. I mean, that means a lot to teenagers.
Stefan
[1:29:44]I'm to do a cost-benefit as opposed to, you know, someone who's like, hey, uh, uh, uh, take this unmarked pill at a party. And it's like, okay, that's, that's definitely a bad idea. Let's go through, like, you don't know where it comes from and it's bad, it's illegal, and it's going to mess with your head and it could be permanent damage and, you know, all that kind of stuff. Right. So I think as a whole, you want to get them pretty early on. I mean, outside of pure moral things, You want to get them to do the cost-benefit analysis rather than give them the answers, if that makes sense.
Caller
[1:30:19]Absolutely. And have you had situations where the cost-benefit analysis, there's a large deviation between the two?
[1:30:37]
Teaching Critical Analysis
Stefan
[1:30:33]Okay. Could you give me a concrete example of what you're talking about?
Caller
[1:30:38]What the hell are you talking about? So you say, hey, you should wear a helmet. We're riding down the street, riding down this bumpy gravel road. And they say, oh, no, it'll be okay. I've fallen before. I didn't get hurt last time, so I probably won't get hurt next time. And you go, yeah.
Stefan
[1:30:58]No, and that's a fair question, right? That's a fair question, right? And then I would say, how many times have you fallen on the bike? And they'll say 10 or five or whatever it is, right? And say, so each time, did you think you wouldn't fall the next time? Well, yeah. Did you fall again? Well, yeah. So in general, you're still going to keep falling on the bike based upon what happened in the past. So bad argument. I'm sorry?
Caller
[1:31:26]I never hit my head, Dan.
Stefan
[1:31:28]Sure. Well, actually you did, but you hit it so hard you can't remember and I just totally gaslight them. No, I'm kidding, right? But yeah, you didn't hit your head. Absolutely. But you could have, right? And, you know, your brain is your most precious organ. And it's in this little thin eggshell of a head, right? And, you know, listen, and if they absolutely insist on riding without their helmet, then I just say no. Like you try and you still have to have the authority and you still need to keep them safe.
Caller
[1:32:02]Right.
Stefan
[1:32:03]So you give them the cost benefit. And if they make a wise decision with the cost benefit, more power to them. If they won't and they absolutely insist on riding without their helmet i'd say yeah now now i'm your cost benefit and i have to do it for you right in the same way like you can't go to work i have to go to work and make the money i can't let you ride without a i have to be your cost benefit analysis because i'm afraid i'm sorry they could just make you the wrong decision and then of course if they're smart they say well didn't you ride a bike without a helmet when you were a kid i'm like there actually were no helmets when i was a kid and there were no there were no freaking seatbelts in cars, even though those are ambiguous as far as the sort of help that they do. But yeah, it wasn't even thought of, but we've had advancements. You used to be able to smoke in the cinema and on the airplane. You can't do that anymore either. So there's some advancements, if that makes sense.
Caller
[1:32:50]Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that makes a lot of sense. And my wife and I have very much been always trying to make sure we ask them questions about what they're thinking about rather than giving them the answer to the question period. You know, just like, no, you can't. We try to talk to them about those things.
Stefan
[1:33:11]You need to step them through your thinking so that they can replicate how you think.
Caller
[1:33:19]One of the things I really hate is when people just say, because I said so. I'm like, you just gave them a dead end. You didn't give them any answer.
Stefan
[1:33:28]You have to pay more taxes. Why? Because I said so. So, no, I get all of that, but you do need to get them used to... The downside of cost-benefit. So I wouldn't do it with regards to biking without a helmet, but I would do it with regards to, let's say that they want to go hunting for crayfish in a fast flowing stream. And you might say, you know, it's pretty rapid, you know, you might, you know, fall and they're like, no, I got it. I say, okay, well, you know, because the downside of that is what? You fall on your butt and you get wet, right? It's not the end of the world, right? So you do want to give your kids the opportunity to choose wrongly, obviously, right? Because otherwise everything remains, as in your case, largely theoretical, right? So you do want to let your kids be able to choose, not obviously, you know, helmets going down a cliff or something or jumping off of really, but you know, if they jump and they say, I think I got it and it seems too high, it's like, I don't think you should. I think it's not worth it. Maybe you can go to where it's a little bit less high, but if they want to do it, you know, I mean, there've been countless times when my daughter says, I can do this jump. And I'm like, I feel uneasy about it. And because my wife's not there, she does it.
Stefan
[1:34:39]But, and she's fine. And she's fine. And so, yeah, I mean, if it's not, you know, obviously something that's dire, then let them make the decisions and let them learn how to calculate their own cost benefit. Because, you know, I said this in a show a couple of weeks ago,
[1:34:58]
The Challenge of Parenting
Stefan
[1:34:56]like people's calculation of cost benefit. When I was talking to the incel community, people's calculations of cost benefits are just crazy these days to the point where they think they talk to a girl at starbucks they go to jail like it's wild well thank you you're welcome richard you're welcome anytime and i really do appreciate these um parenting questions uh they are fantastic all right we've got just in time oh no no i chose the wrong person seth is not with us sadly. Justin. Golden. He's gold, baby. Ari gold style. What is on your mind? We have a maybe show, not a no show. We have a maybe show. Yes, go ahead.
Caller
[1:35:45]Was I next?
Stefan
[1:35:48]I think you may be thinking there's a more formal order than there is, but go on. I can't hear you, man. I can hear myself, but not you. Okay, so what I'm going to recommend, my friend, is you need to get a headset, because you're calling into an audio show. All right. Jasis. Jasis? I don't know. Is that Aramaic? I'm not positive. Medium positive. You need to unmute and... And then talk, I suppose. I guess both. One after the other. Hello, hello. Hello. I think I heard something.
Caller
[1:36:42]Hello?
Stefan
[1:36:44]Hello. Are you calling from 2004?
Caller
[1:36:48]Sorry, I'm very far out in the country. Let me get away and see if I can find some more service.
Stefan
[1:36:53]I think that's better.
Caller
[1:36:54]Can you hear me now?
Stefan
[1:36:55]Yeah, go ahead.
Caller
[1:36:57]Excellent. Well, firstly, thank you so much for your time, sir. I am in a bit of a moral dilemma. Well, maybe it is. maybe it isn't. I would like to someday run for political office, but... I have two things going on here. One thing is, I think a lot of the concepts that I'd like to talk about, maybe the average person doesn't quite have the attention span to hear. And secondly, I fear judgment from my close friends and my family. And I'm wondering what advice you might have to get over those two things.
Stefan
[1:37:38]Okay, so give me a scale of one to ten. how far are you away from the general mindset? Like how, how much are you trying to pull people out of a matrix or a mindset? Like 10 being full on anarcho capitalism, peaceful parenting, like all of the stuff that makes, uh, that has me head, head spinning around the world, what I do, which is why I'm not running, of course, for political office, I'm relatively saying that way, which is not to say you're not obviously, but so some one to 10, one being you want to nudge people a little bit more in the direction of freedom and 10 being full, peaceful parenting, NAP, UPP, ANCAP, where are you on that scale in terms of what you want to communicate to people in the realm of politics?
Caller
[1:38:21]I think I'd call myself a seven, possibly an eight. I just think that things are not quite as they seem. For instance, things like modern monetary theory kind of explains the way the taxes are actually done. I don't think that taxes necessarily go to pay for things. I think that taxes are an inflation device, right? So that, I think that that's a big truce that could radically alter the way that people think about their government. But at the same time, I think that that concept is a little too difficult for most people, but it is a key concept.
Stefan
[1:38:59]Well, also, it wouldn't be something that you could particularly change at a local level because it's the F is in the Federal Reserve. And I know it's not a federal corporation any more than Federal Express is, but you wouldn't be able to do much about that at the local level, right?
Caller
[1:39:12]Right, right.
Stefan
[1:39:14]So what is it that you want to change at the level that you could have influence over? Sorry.
Caller
[1:39:20]Um, I guess I don't necessarily have a point that I would go for. I just would be more in favor of telling the truth. Like, you know, you see these documents and you see a lot of like political language. Like there's a lot of adjective use in describing things. And I think that most things are just weaponized. You know, I think that just telling the truth about something and coming back down to a base level with some of these concepts would be helpful. And at the same time, I think that it's getting really hard for young people to make a living, like buying a house, getting a job that pays a wage that isn't like the bare minimum. And I think like the financial status of the United States kind of has a lot to do with that.
Stefan
[1:40:17]Oh, I think I lost him. I think the country swallowed up his words. Yeah, I mean, so if you want to run for office locally, you need to figure out the local stuff that you can achieve, with the authority that you would have, right? If you want to run for mayor of a small town, then you need to figure out what you can do in that small town that is going to affect some kind of change.
Stefan
[1:40:37]If you want to change very much, you know, larger, more abstract and all-encompassing structures such as monetary policy or foreign policy or foreign aid or things like that.
Stefan
[1:40:48]Then what you need to do is you need to give speeches rather than run for office because the only people who can change that kind of stuff tend to be at the very top of the political hierarchy and unless you're a total rich genius like Trump,
[1:41:03]
The Scope of Political Influence
Stefan
[1:41:01]it's going to take you just a little while to get there. And of course, Trump's been talking about the policy changes that he wants, in particular with tariffs, since the 80s at least, probably, well, probably not earlier, but the 80s. So I would say that if you want to get into politics, limit your discussions to what you can affect and change with the political power that you would get a hold of, right? So there may be certain zoning things you could do. There may be certain things that you could do in city hall that would be a benefit to people that might expand or extend their liberties that maybe you can cut spending and lower property taxes or something like that. Then I would stick with talking to people about the issues you can do something about because otherwise, in a sense, you're just a kind of another big promises windbag repolitician who's talking about monetary policy, which a local politician would have no effect on. If you want to talk about the larger issues, you have to go speaking tours. You have to go books, blogs, videos, and that kind of stuff, and personal conversations as well. So I hope that helps. And I'm sorry, feel free to call back when you have a slightly better internet. All right. Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you, man. I appreciate that. And best of luck in what it is that you're heading into.
Stefan
[1:42:15]Freedomain.com/donate. I'm sorry, we didn't get to the people who couldn't answer, maybe had some tech issues, but freedomain.com/donate to help out the show. Don't forget free books, freedomain.com slash books, free documentaries at freedomain.com slash documentaries and follow me on x at StefanMolyneux. Love you guys. Well, I guess a lot of you are. If I mean, everyone I see here is following me, but if you can spread the word, I really do appreciate it. And thanks again to our Lord Elon Musk for letting dissidents back into the public square, such as he has and very admirable. And I do appreciate the opportunity and the restoring of my account, YouTube. Still waiting for an answer, man. All right. Thanks, everyone.
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