Peaceful Parenting Part 25

This episode explores how childhood trauma affects health, emphasizing the importance of trauma-informed care, early interventions, CBT, and peaceful parenting. It advocates for awareness, support for survivors, and a safer environment for children.

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2024, Stefan Molyneux

Peaceful Parenting
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Brief Summary
In this episode, I delve into the profound impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) on health outcomes such as cancer, heart disease, and mental disorders. We discuss the lasting effects of childhood abuse on sleep quality, the link between ACEs and adult dysfunction, and the importance of trauma-informed care and early interventions. I highlight the efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and emphasize the critical role of peaceful parenting in protecting children from abuse. Lastly, I call for raising awareness, supporting survivors, and advocating for trauma-informed care to create a safer environment for children.

Chapters
0:00 Childhood Trauma's Impact on Physical Health
3:15 Sleep Disruptions – Ramifications of Child Abuse
10:02 Maternal Weight and Gestational Diabetes
11:47 Adverse Childhood Experiences and Lifespan Reduction
13:25 The Physiological and Behavioral Effects of ACEs
16:43 The Ongoing Battle Against Child Abuse
18:07 The Resilience of the Human Brain
33:23 Protective Role of Peaceful Parenting
46:19 Unveiling the Tactics of Child Predators
53:16 The Five-Step Grooming Process
57:00 Alarming Risks for Children of Single Mothers

Long Summary
Stefan Molyneux discusses the profound impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) on health outcomes such as cancer, heart disease, and mental disorders, citing various studies and meta-analyses. The relationship between ACEs and cardiovascular disease, metabolic dysfunction, inflammation, and sleep disturbances is explored. The lasting effects of childhood abuse on sleep quality and the connection with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and nightmares are discussed, shedding light on the neurobiological and psychological basis for these disturbances.

Different forms of childhood abuse, such as physical, sexual, emotional abuse, and neglect, are linked to an increased risk of developing mental disorders later in life. The root causes of adult dysfunction, including addiction, heart disease, obesity, and depression, are traced back to childhood traumas. The impact of maternal obesity on maternal and fetal health is examined, showing the heightened risks and complications associated with gestational diabetes.

The discussion delves into the association between ACEs and various sleep disorders in adulthood, emphasizing the need for trauma-informed care and early interventions. The efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in addressing trauma, sleep disorders, and mental health outcomes is highlighted through various studies and systematic reviews. The cost-effectiveness of therapy versus financial compensation in treating mental health disorders is explored, showing the significant benefits of psychological therapy.

The episode also delves into the strategies used by sexual predators to groom and abuse children, highlighting the various tactics to gain access, trust, and silence from victims. The stark statistics on offenders, victim vulnerability, and grooming techniques shed light on the importance of understanding and preventing child sexual abuse. The critical role of peaceful parenting in protecting children from abuse is emphasized, focusing on communication, trust, and emotional connection within families.

The episode concludes with a call to action to raise awareness about the prevalence and impact of childhood abuse, support survivors, and advocate for peaceful parenting practices to safeguard children from the lasting effects of trauma. By acknowledging the profound consequences of ACEs, promoting early interventions, and advocating for trauma-informed care, society can work towards creating a safer and healthier environment for children to thrive.

Transcript
[0:00]
Childhood Trauma's Impact on Physical Health
[0:00]Peaceful Parenting by Stefan Molyneux, Part 25. Childhood Abuse, Heart Disease, and Cancer. A 2021 meta-analysis of 18 studies which had data from 406,210 people found, people with two or three types of ACEs are 1.35 times more likely to get cancer compared to those with no ACEs. If a person has four or more ACEs, they are 2.17 times more likely to get cancer than someone with no ACEs. Now, when looking at specific ACEs, physical abuse. Those who experience this are 1.23 times more likely to get cancer. Sexual abuse. People with this experience have a 1.26 times higher chance of getting cancer. Exposure to intimate partner violence. Those exposed to this are 1.26 times more at risk for cancer. Financial difficulties in the family. People from families with financial struggles are 1.16 times more likely to get cancer.
[1:18]The Journal of the American Medical Association's 2020 review on the association between ACEs and cardiovascular disease later in life gathered the findings of over a decade of research. From the review, individuals with four or more ACEs faced 2.2 times the risk of ischemic heart disease, 2.4 times the risk of stroke. A study with 18,303 adults across 10 countries linked parental mental disorders, substance use, physical or sexual abuse, and parental loss to cardiovascular disease.
[1:59]The Nurses' Health Study 2 showed that women with severe physical and sexual abuse had higher chances of cardiovascular disease events. However, after adjusting for factors like obesity, smoking, and depression, the significance disappeared. The Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study found maltreated or socially isolated individuals had a 60% higher risk of inflammation at age 32. Those from low socioeconomic backgrounds or who were socially isolated had double the risk of metabolic dysfunction. function. The CARDIA study observed a trend between higher ACEs and cardiovascular disease events in 3,646 young adults from 1985 to 2018. A meta-analysis found that individuals with four or more ACEs had higher odds of sedentarism, 25%, being overweight-slash-obese, 39%, Diabetes, 52%. Smoking, 182%. Cardiovascular disease, 107%.
[3:15]
Sleep Disruptions – Ramifications of Child Abuse
[3:15]Sleep Disruptions – The Overlooked Consequence of Child Abuse, One of the less frequently discussed ramifications of adverse childhood experiences is the profound effect on sleep quality in later life. Sleep isn't just a rest phase, it's a fundamental aspect of our daily lives, pivotal for mental rejuvenation, cognitive function, and emotional balance. Regrettably, the ghosts of childhood traumas often don't rest even when their victims desperately seek respite in the arms of sleep.
[3:51]For those subjected to abuse in their formative years, the sanctuary of slumber can become an arena of distress. Many report consistent disturbances in their sleep patterns. Psychology Today reports that individuals who have faced adverse childhood experiences, ACEs, often undergo frequent occurrences of nightmares, sometimes on a weekly basis or even more frequently. Several research studies suggest that a substantial proportion, potentially as high as 80%, of individuals dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, describe enduring nightmares that persist over several months or even years subsequent to a traumatic event. The question then arises, why does childhood abuse have such lasting and significant impacts on sleep? The answer lies in the realm of neurobiology. Traumatic events in childhood can result in persistent alterations in the body's stress response systems. Moreover, psychological distress further compounds the issue. you. Anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and depression, all common in those who've experienced childhood abuse, are known perpetrators of sleep disturbances. Nightmares or flashbacks stemming from these conditions can jolt individuals awake, infusing their nights with dread.
[5:19]A 2015 systemic review on ACEs and adult sleep disorders found key findings. The majority of retrospective studies, 25 out of 28, showed significant association between ACEs and sleep disorders like sleep apnea, narcolepsy, nightmare distress, sleep paralysis, and psychiatric sleep disorders. Strength of associations often increased with the number and severity of ACEs. Two prospective studies corroborated these findings. Significant relationship found between family conflict at age 7 to 15 and insomnia at age 18, 40% higher chance. Childhood sexual abuse linked with sleep disturbances in adult women 10 years later. Conclusions and recommendations. Growing evidence suggests an association between ACEs and various sleep disorders in adulthood. Need for trauma-informed care for abuse survivors with sleep disturbances. More longitudinal studies are required to understand this association better, particularly regarding potential gender and racial-slash-ethnic disparities.
[6:39]It's essential to underscore the vast implications of poor sleep. Chronic sleep deprivation or disturbed sleep can pave the way for a plethora of health issues, including cardiovascular diseases, weakened immune function, and cognitive impairments. Additionally, the philosophical and psychological toll is equally significant. The fog of fatigue can cloud judgment, hinder introspection, and obstruct one's quest for truth and self-understanding. In essence, the tendrils of child abuse extend far and wide, reaching into the very tranquility of one's nights. Addressing sleep disturbances isn't merely about ensuring physical well-being, but about restoring a sense of peace, of granting solace to souls that have known too much pain. To genuinely heal, it's crucial that we recognize the vast scope of childhood trauma's consequences. In doing so, we not only extend compassion, but also arm ourselves with the knowledge to forge paths of true recovery.
[7:48]General Mental Disorders The data regarding childhood abuse and mental illness is stark and dark. Quote Results revealed a significant association between the following childhood exposure and adult mental disorder. Bullying, victimhood, perpetration, and frequency, emotional abuse, physical neglect, parental loss, and general maltreatment, unspecified and or multiple trauma exposure. There was some evidence of a dose-response relationship with those exposed to multiple forms of maltreatment having more than three times the odds of developing a mental disorder. There is strong evidence of an association between childhood trauma and later mental illness. This association is particularly evident for exposure to bullying, emotional abuse, maltreatment, and parental loss. The evidence suggests that childhood and adolescence are an important time for risk for later mental illness and an important period in which to focus intervention strategies. From Childhood Trauma and Adult Mental Disorder, a systematic review and meta-analysis of longitudinal cohort studies. 2021.
[9:11]Root Causes of Adult Dysfunction While the world focuses on treating symptoms, whether they be drug addiction, alcohol abuse, or depression, the root cause remains neglected. From the propensity for drug abuse, to the risk of heart disease and mental illness, from the struggle with obesity to the battles with depression, the dark shadows of childhood traumas loom large. In the subsequent sections, we'll continue to unmask the various forms of child abuse one by one, holding them up to the harsh light of reason and evidence, in a bid to underscore just how vital it is for us as a society to address them head on.
[10:02]
Maternal Weight and Gestational Diabetes
[10:03]Mother's weight and its link to diabetes. A mother's obesity can amplify her risk of having both existing and gestational diabetes, GDM. GDM risk based on weight. Slightly overweight, OR 2.14. Obese, OR 3.56. Extremely obese, OR 8.56. 6.
[10:32]Gaining weight in the years leading up to pregnancy escalates the threat of GDM, particularly in women who were previously of average weight. Aspects influencing GDM rates include being older than 35, belonging to Hispanic or Asian groups, having an education of 12 years or fewer, and having given birth two or more times previously. Obese pregnant women commonly exhibit elevated insulin resistance, leading to increased fat accessibility for the fetus. Studies on obese mothers with GDM have found heightened activity of genes tied to fat processing in their placentae. Mothers with GDM can expect complications such as raised blood sugar, higher chances of cesarean sections, and a likelihood of developing diabetes in the future. For babies born to mothers with GDM, there's an elevated risk of mortality around birth, higher weight at birth, a predisposition to obesity during their younger and older years, and potential type 2 diabetes. From The Impact of Maternal Obesity on Maternal and Fetal Health, 2008.
[11:47]
Adverse Childhood Experiences and Lifespan Reduction
[11:47]The Life Cut Short, The aftershocks of adverse childhood experiences are both wide-ranging and long-lasting. Perhaps one of the most startling revelations from decades of research is the undeniable link between high ACE scores and a significantly reduced lifespan. The trauma experienced during formative years not only haunts individuals psychologically, but also manifests in physical deterioration over time, shortening the length and quality of life.
[12:25]Individuals who have experienced significant childhood trauma face a reduction of 20 years in their life expectancy and are at a three-fold increased risk of developing heart disease and lung cancer. An analysis of various studies reveals a grim correlation between ACEs and life expectancy. Children subjected to consistent traumatic experiences have, on average, a life expectancy that's significantly shorter than those with little to no ACEs. Individuals with six-plus ACEs had an average lifespan reduced by nearly 20 years. 60.6 versus 79.1 years. In the UK, individuals with four-plus ACEs had nearly double the risk of premature death.
[13:25]
The Physiological and Behavioral Effects of ACEs
[13:26]Why does this happen? The body's response to prolonged stress, such as that experienced through consistent trauma, involves the continuous release of stress hormones like cortisol. Over time, this chronic state of stress begins to wear on the body's vital systems. The immune system becomes compromised, making individuals more susceptible to illness. Additionally, a higher likelihood of adopting unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and drug abuse further exacerbates the health risks.
[14:02]As we covered earlier, individuals with high ACE scores tend to have a higher risk of developing chronic diseases like heart disease, diabetes, and respiratory problems. Exposure to adverse childhood experiences, ACEs, has been linked to several negative health habits. Victims of child abuse also tend to consume fewer healthy foods, favoring comfort foods instead, and are more prone to leading an inactive lifestyle. The mind-body connection is evident here, as the emotional scars of abuse and neglect translate into tangible physical risks. In conclusion, the shadow of abuse looms large over an individual's entire lifespan. From the mental struggles they grapple with to the physical ailments they are predisposed to, the effects of childhood trauma are profound and far-reaching. As society gains a deeper understanding of these consequences, it becomes paramount to invest in early interventions, trauma-informed care, and most crucially, efforts to prevent ACEs in the first place.
[15:14]Yet the world often remains willfully oblivious, choosing to treat the symptoms rather than addressing the cause. We attempt to fix broken adults without recognizing that these fractures started as weeping wounds in childhood, growing and expanding with every episode of abuse or neglect. If there's one message to take away, it's this. To heal the world, we must first heal the child. Through introspection and self-awareness, by becoming better parents and caregivers, by educating ourselves and others on the impacts of child abuse, we can hope to see a world where children grow up in nurturing environments, free from trauma and full of potential. For further exploration on this critical topic, consider delving into my Bomb in the Brain series. By spreading awareness and knowledge, we take a collective step towards a brighter, safer future for our children. Remember, every child deserves love, understanding, and protection. Together, we can make a difference. In the heart of every abused child lies a ticking bomb, but the hands of loving caregivers have the power to defuse it.
[16:43]
The Ongoing Battle Against Child Abuse
[16:44]Peaceful parenting versus the bomb in the brain. ACEs and child abuse in general is the actual pandemic overshadowing anything else. While other crises make headlines and command our attention, this insidious plague, rooted in the darkest recesses of our homes and societies, marches on, its devastation echoing in silent screams and haunting the hallways of countless lives. The enduring ramifications of such experiences aren't mere ripples, they're tsunamis that capsize the vessel of potential in our youth, leaving us stranded in the tumultuous a seas of trauma. If we were to speak of monstrous evils in our world, then child abuse and the scars left by ACEs must top that list. This isn't just a domestic issue or a concern relegated to specific socioeconomic tiers. It's a universal atrocity that every society which truly rejects evil must confront with unwavering resolve. The future of humanity rests on how we treat, protect, and nurture our most vulnerable.
[18:07]
The Resilience of the Human Brain
[18:07]However, it's not all bleak. The brain, while susceptible to damage, is also incredibly resilient. Through awareness, therapy, and introspection, the damage can be mitigated. Healing begins with understanding, acknowledging the trauma, and seeking help. Peaceful parenting is the antithesis of child abuse. It's about understanding that children are not our property, but individuals with their own emotions, thoughts, and needs. By being present, emotionally available, and empathetic, parents can nurture their children and create strong, positive neural pathways. From Shadows to Sunlight Dialogues that Mend the Soul, It's pivotal that we comprehend this, that our childhood experiences, be they vibrant sunrises of joy or tempestuous storms of distress, etch profound marks upon the canvas of our psyche. These experiences, especially ACEs, can often become spectral chains that bind, influencing our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and interpersonal dynamics.
[19:31]It's both fascinating and terrifying how events from years past, perhaps even decades, can still exert such commanding forces in our present. The child within us, hurt and silenced, still yearns for validation, understanding, and healing. But here's the marvel of human resilience. We possess an inherent capacity for recovery, for rediscovery, for reconnection. Talk therapy, a beacon in the dark. Enter talk therapy, specifically cognitive behavioral therapy, an intimate dialogue, a soulful conversation where the wounded self is laid bare, acknowledged, and rejuvenated. It's not about rehashing or dwelling in the past, but rather about understanding and transforming it. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT, is a form of psychotherapy that combines cognitive therapy with behavior therapy by identifying faulty or maladaptive patterns of thinking, emotional responses or behaviors, and substituting them with desirable patterns of thinking, emotional responses or behaviors.
[20:53]The 2021 study, Interventions to Support People Exposed to Adverse Childhood Experiences, Systematic Review of Systematic Reviews, reports, 25 reviews were included. Most reviews focus on psychological interventions and mental health outcomes. The strongest evidence is for cognitive behavioral therapy for people exposed to abuse. Some findings on the efficacy of CBT One randomized controlled trial, RCT, assigned sexually abused children to either child-alone CBTs, family CBTs, or waitlist control. Children allocated to treatment groups showed decreased self-reported levels of PTSD symptoms, fear, and anxiety, along with improved overall functioning as reported by parents. Importantly, the presence of caregivers did not influence this outcome.
[21:50]TF-CBT, trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, has demonstrated that this approach is effective in addressing individual traumatic incidents in young individuals, including occurrences like natural disasters and car accidents. In fact, as many as 92% of participants no longer met the criteria for PTSD after completing 10 sessions, and this positive outcome was maintained even at a six-month follow-up. The psycho-educational aspect of TF-CBT has shown effectiveness in enhancing understanding of healthy sexuality and body safety among children aged 2 to 8 who have experienced sexual abuse.
[22:33]TF-CBT is also applicable in group settings, with shorter duration, cross-culturally and across wide arrays of trauma. TFCBT effectively reduced PTSD symptoms and increased psychosocial functioning in children in protection agencies in Jordan, child soldiers and other war-affected youth in the Democratic Republic of Congo, and sexually exploited girls in the Democratic Republic of Congo. In Zambia, orphans and vulnerable children randomized to TFCBT saw significantly reduced trauma and stress-related symptoms. PTSD-diagnosed adolescents four years post-2004 Thai tsunami received a brief 6-hour CBT treatment across three days, leading to an immediate reduction in symptoms.
[23:23]Furthermore, street children in Mexico randomized to receive 12 sessions of individual CBTs reported lower levels of depression, anxiety, and anger when compared with the waitlist condition, with results maintained three months post-treatment. Let's break this down. 1. The power of validation. One of the most profound impacts of ACEs is the feeling of isolation. Isolation, a notion that one's suffering is singular, invalid, or inconsequential. Through talk therapy, individuals can find validation. To be told, I believe you, or it wasn't your fault, can be incredibly liberating. 2. Reframing core beliefs. Childhood trauma often imprints negative core beliefs. I'm not worthy, I'm unlovable, the world is a dangerous place, or I'm not resourceful enough to navigate the challenges of life. Talk therapy helps dissect these fallacies, replacing them with healthier, constructive beliefs. 3. Emotional Processing Many survivors of trauma have suppressed or disconnected from their emotions as a defense mechanism. In the safe harbor of therapy, these emotions can be identified, understood, and expressed. This process can be challenging undoubtedly, but immediately cathartic.
[24:52]4. Mastery over memories. Rather than being trapped in the loop of traumatic memories, talk therapy allows individuals to revisit those memories in a controlled environment, slowly desensitizing and gaining mastery over them. 5. Skills and strategies Apart from emotional processing, talk therapy provides practical tools and strategies to manage anxiety, depression, and other associated symptoms. It's not merely about delving into the past, but equipping for the present and future.
[25:27]A 2004 Australian study explored the cost-effectiveness of CBT and SSRIs on treating major depressive disorder in children. Method. Health benefits measured as a reduction in DALYs. This stands for Disability Adjusted Life Years. It's a measure used in public health to quantify the overall burden of disease. Effect size sourced from meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Miles. Financial figures are in Australian dollars. Analysis focused on new major depressive disorder, MDD, episodes in Australian children age 6 to 17 from the year 2000. Results. CBT by public psychologists is most cost-effective at $9,000 per DALY saved. SSRIs and CBT by other likely under $50,000 per DALY saved. CBT is more effective than SSRIs in this age group. CBT leads to a higher total health benefit DALYs saved than SSRIs. Conclusions CBT by public psychologists is the top cost-effective first-line treatment for MDD in this age group.
[26:49]In another study, research showed that CBT therapy offers a cost-effectiveness that is approximately 32 times greater than that of financial compensation. The findings of the study. Money and life events valuation. Money is frequently used to value life events. Several areas of life have been monetarily valued. Marriage, social relationships, fear of crime, noise, health, disabilities. Marriage value, as an example, is equivalent to an extra $100,000, 70,000 pounds, annually. These values derive from subjective well-being data. Typically, a one standard deviation increase in income boosts well-being by 0.17 to 0.21 standard deviations.
[27:40]Compensation for injustices. Judges often award monetary compensation for psychological distress. stress. Some suggest that traumatic events can be monetarily evaluated. Research suggests using monetary figures for compensation in court cases, e.g. losing family members or disabilities. Recommended compensation figures. Losing a partner, £114,000 to £206,000 annually. Losing a child, £89,000 to £140,000. In contrast, the UK's Fatal Accidents Act, 1976, recommends £10,000. Unemployment's psychological distress, £34,000 to £59,000 annually.
[28:33]Effectiveness of Psychological Therapy Studies have examined the clinical and cost-effectiveness of treatments for depression. Treatments compared include general practitioner care, cognitive behavior therapy, CBT, and non-directive counseling. All treatments reduced depression by at least 1.5 standard deviations in 12 months. Average treatment cost, inclusive of indirect costs, was less than £1,500. pounds. Notably, CBT and counseling showed results within four months at less than 800 pounds. Comparison. Therapy versus financial compensation. The cost-effectiveness of psychotherapy versus financial compensation hasn't been extensively studied. Monetary compensation for the loss of a partner is about 114,000 pounds, but therapy might cost under £600 for equivalent relief. For unemployment-related psychological distress, therapy costs between £100 to £200, contrasting starkly with monetary compensation. Therapy's effects can be valued between £179,000 and £292,000 of extra annual income, making it much more cost-effective than monetary compensation.
[29:58]Income's limited effectiveness. Income's capacity to boost mental health appears limited. Research on lottery wins revealed a £4,300 win improves mental health by about a quarter of a standard deviation two years post-win. Psychological therapy is around 32 times more cost-effective than financial compensation. Discussion and limitations. It's challenging to draw direct inferences across studies. The efficacy of psychological therapy isn't solely based on people experiencing significant life losses. People adapt over time to life events, but this doesn't negate the benefits of therapy or compensation. It's hypothesized that therapy might speed up adaptation. Implications for Judges Tort law seeks to restore victims to their pre-wronged position. Current compensation values in courts are arbitrary. Monetary compensation might not effectively alleviate psychological distress post-trauma. Therapy offers a more direct, personalized, and cost-effective solution.
[31:10]Implications for Policymakers and Society society. High suggested compensation values highlight money's inefficiency in improving well-being. Despite increased income in developed societies, happiness hasn't grown proportionally. Depression's prevalence is expected to rise, indicating a need for improved mental health care access. The value of mental health should be prioritized alongside economic progress. Improved mental health care access is essential for national well-being.
[31:43]It's important to remember that talk therapy, though potent, is not a magic bullet. Recovery is a journey, often non-linear, filled with peaks of insight and valleys of challenge. Yet, it is a journey worth undertaking. To those bearing the burdens of ACEs, I implore, consider the power of talk. Reach out. Seek therapy. Engage in this soulful conversation. Your past might be written, but the future? Ah, the future is yet a blank page, and you hold the pen. To close, it's worth reflecting on a thought. Our childhood may shape us, but it doesn't define us. Through endeavors like talk therapy and the the acquisition of self-knowledge, we can reclaim our lives and stand strong against the momentum of history.
[32:42]Therapy 32 times better than more money. To summarize, research from the University of Warwick has shown that talk therapy can be as much as 32 times more cost-effective at improving well-being than getting more money. After researching data on thousands of people who provided information about their mental well-being, the study authors found that the increase in happiness from a course of therapy that cost only $1,329 was so significant that it would take a pay increase of more than $41,542 to achieve a similar boost in well-being.
[33:23]
Protective Role of Peaceful Parenting
[33:23]How Peaceful Parenting Protects Children, You might wonder, how does peaceful parenting protect children from abuse even outside the home? The philosophy of peaceful parenting, at its core, emphasizes the creation of a safe, nurturing, and open environment for a child. In such an environment, open communication is encouraged. Children are more likely to disclose any inappropriate behavior or actions they may have encountered. Awareness is heightened. Parents are more in tune with any changes in their child's behavior or demeanor, enabling early intervention. Protection is prioritized. A peaceful parent is vigilant, ensuring their child's safety, not just within the home, but even when interacting with the world at large. Predators. How they operate.
[34:23]It is essential to understand the risk that a pedophile is taking when selecting his or her victim. If the predator chooses wrong and the child reports him to the parents, legal proceedings might ensue that could very well end up putting the pedophile in prison. Child molesters are often assaulted and murdered in prisons, largely because so many convicted criminals were sexually abused as children. And so every time a predator targets a child, he is literally taking his life into his hands.
[34:54]Pedophiles who prey on dozens or hundreds of children, as so many of them do, have to be right every single time And so often, they are, So, what are they looking for? Let's analyze, Basic information on offenders Age range? 19 to 74 with an average age of 41 Predominantly between ages 30 to 42, Occupations 35% professional 31% skilled, semi-skilled 44% unskilled or soldiers, Marital status 48% had been or are married 52% were single, Victim preferences 58% targeted girls girls, 14% boys, and 28% targeted both. Age range of victims 1 to 18. Most offenders had multiple victims with a concerning number having victimized a large number of children.
[36:11]70% of offending sexual predators have between 1 and 9 victims, while 20% have 10 to 40 victims. 66% of the offenders knew they're victims. 32% were parents or step-parents who abused their own children. When females offend, they are much more likely to go for much younger children. Age 0 to 6 years, younger offenders, age less than 12 years, had 57.1% of their victims in this age group, while older offenders, age greater than or equal to 12 years, had only 21%. Age 7 to 10 years, for younger offenders, 31.2% of victims were in this age group, compared to 15.5% for older offenders. Female sexual offenders offend against both males and females. They are more likely than male offenders to offend against same-gender victims. Yet, female sex offenders are more likely than men to have victims of both genders. Male and female sex offenders have commonalities. They are demographically similar, although women are more likely to offend at a school, hospital, or jail.
[37:37]Women were more likely to report having been raped during their lifetime. However, although only 1.7% of men report being raped in their lifetime, the CDC's limited definition of rape requires the penetration of the victim, but 6.7% of men had reported that they were made to penetrate someone during their lifetime. Those who had been made to penetrate reported female perpetrators in 79% of cases. Analysis of a National Household Survey of both rape and sexual assault found that 28% of male victims and 4% of female victims reported female perpetrators acting alone. When men and boys were incarcerated, staff perpetrators of sexual violence were overwhelmingly female. When inmate-on-inmate sexual assault occurs, women prisoners are more likely to be victimized by female inmates than male prisoners victimized by male inmates.
[38:42]Also, six offenders, 6.6%, also sexually assaulted victims aged 19 to 45. One offender abused a 65 year old victim, the number of victims was alarming. 70% of the men had committed offenses against one to nine victims. 23% had committed offenses against 10 to 40 children. 7% had committed offenses against 41 to 450 children.
[39:17]Selection of victims. Factors. Child's appearance, 42%, being, quote, pretty. Clothing, 27%. Tights and miniskirts are mentioned. Age or size, 18%. Young slash small were significant factors. Behavior, 13%. One in eight targeted naive, trusting, or unsuspecting kids. Lack of confidence or low self-esteem. 49% quote, you can spot the child who was unsure of himself and target him with compliments and positive attention. Offenders share that they look for passive, quiet, troubled, lonely children from single parent or broken homes. The quote, most vulnerable, end quote, child was described as having family issues, being alone, lacking confidence, being curious, being attractively dressed, being trusting, and being young or small.
[40:30]57% selected based on the child being young or small. 46% influenced by a special relationship with the victim. Recruitment of victims outside of immediate families. Offenders frequented child-populated areas working on building trust in a child's home, took chances when children approached them, and used victims to recruit others. 35% of men visited locations children commonly visit, including schools, shopping centers, arcades, theme parks, playgrounds, parks, beaches, swimming areas, fairs. 33% aimed to gain acceptance into the child's household. hold. 14% responded when a child initiated contact, possibly for an inquiry. 18% of men attempted to involve more kids. These men used their victims to attract additional children. Quote, they did this by offering incentives to or by threatening the victim and by giving bribes and gifts to the children recruited.
[41:49]Location of abuse. Predominantly in the offender's or child's home, but also included public places. 61% were abused in the offender's home. 49% in the child's home. 44% said they abused in public places. Toilets, tents, parks, woodlands, places with outdoor activities. 13% in the homes of friends. 6% in proximity of the offender's home. 4% in a car. 51% abused in the vicinity of the offender's home.
[42:37]Strategies used. 53% frequently they proposed engaging in games with the kids, coaching them in sports or instructing them in playing a musical instrument. 46% of individuals also provided bribes, offered them an outing or gave them a ride home. 30% of individuals utilized sentiments of affection, action, comprehension, and love. 14% of the narratives recounted were centered around falsehoods, enchantment, or quests for hidden riches. 9% of the perpetrators merely requested assistance from a child. Quote, one man, for example, used his disability to ask children for help and gain their sympathy before going on to sexually abuse them.
[43:33]20% of the offenders asserted that they had managed to establish the trust of the entire victim's family as a means to exploit the child. 48% of the perpetrators utilized babysitting as a means to isolate their victims, a fact of considerable importance. On these occasions, the offender started by talking about sex, 27%, offering to bathe or dress the child, 20%, and or using coercion by misrepresenting the abuse as having a different purpose, 21%, such as, quote, it would be good for you to do this for your education, or, quote, this is what people do who love each other. 84% of the participants indicated that after devising a set of effective tactics, they consistently employed the same approach when engaging with children, while 16% displayed variability in their methods and altered their strategies periodically. 56% of the offenders were unsure about the factors that had impacted their strategy selection, while 30% had derived their approaches from personal experiences and 14% attributed their choices, at least in part, to influences like pornography, TV shows, movies, and other forms of media.
[44:58]First move made. Quote, 28% slowly desensitized the child into sexual activities and 32% asked the child to do something that would help the offender, such as undressing or lying down. During the first sexual contact, some men tried other methods or a combination of methods. 19% used physical force with the child. 44% of the men used coercion and persuasion. 49% talked about sexual matters. 47% used accidental touch as a ploy. and 46% used bribery and gifts in exchange for sexual touches. Quote, If the child resisted or was fearful, 39% of the offenders were prepared to use threats or violence to control the child as a way of overcoming the child's anxieties. The other offenders, 61%, used passive methods of control such as stopping the abuse and then coercing and persuading once again. Therefore, the majority of offenders coerce children by carefully testing the child's reaction to sex, by bringing up sexual matters or having sexual materials around, and by subtly increasing sexual touching.
[46:19]
Unveiling the Tactics of Child Predators
[46:19]During first sexual contact, 49% continued to talk about sex. 19% used physical force straight away. Maintenance of victims. Quote, one-third of the offenders abused a child on only one occasion and then moved on to another victim. Two-thirds of the offenders encouraged the child's compliance and maintained the abusive relationship by using a variety and combination of methods. Quote.
[46:54]Quote, Quote, percent threatened loss of love or said that the child was to blame quote one man said he told children that they would both be in trouble if the child told offenders preparation for the abuse immediately prior to offending quote 22 percent of the men used drugs or alcohol 21 used pornography and 49% used fantasies about previous victims to disinhibit themselves. The other 8% contacted and talked to other offenders. One in five offenders knew where to obtain child prostitutes and illegal child pornography videos and magazines. Roughly 8% kept in contact with other child predators. Quote, Two-thirds of offenders claimed that stress of some sort precipitated their offenses. The stress was related to work, sexual or domestic problems, or the psychological problems, but one-third indicated no such stress.
[48:17]Offender's feelings and concerns about the abuse from the offender's point of view. Quote, 41% had found sex with children less threatening than sex with an adult. Quote, 25% felt that sex with children gave them a new and positive experience. Quote, 39% felt nothing or couldn't express what they felt, and 17% justified their actions to themselves. What kept them from seeking help was the realization that there was no help available, 46 percent, or that whatever they had tried hadn't helped, 17 percent.
[49:01]Offender's Own History 67 percent admitted to negative sexual experiences as a child or adolescent. The mean age for this negative experience was 12.5 years. A third of the men were under the age of 16 when first attracted sexually to children. All of these men committed their first offense as juveniles, one to three years after becoming sexually attracted to children. The mean age of first conviction, however, was 31 years. Fifty-five percent of the abusers said that their offenses became more serious over time. Sixty-eight percent were victims of sexual abuse as a child. Quote, the mean age of their own sexual abuse was 9.75 years.
[49:56]From Powerful Perpetrators, Hidden in Plain Sight, an International Analysis of Organizational Child Sexual Abuse Cases, 2019.
[50:06]Eleven major grooming categories. Definition of grooming, a process where a person prepares a child, significant adults, and the environment for child abuse. Goals include gaining child access, compliance, and ensuring the child's secrecy. Grooming organizations slash staff Tactics for gaining trust within organizations often leveraging positions of power, Grooming parents or guardians Techniques to gain trust from potential victims' parents such as doing favors for family members, Accessing victims Ways to reach potential victims like volunteering at youth organizations or overseeing children's field trips Grooming victims Victims. Strategies for gaining a child's trust before abuse, like befriending or giving gifts. Luring victims. Tempting a child into a location by offering rewards or through deceit. Getting the child alone for abuse. Tactics to isolate a child, such as sneaking into their room. Efforts to minimize detection Techniques to avoid being detected, like testing victims' silence or denying abusive behavior.
[51:30]Bribes and enticements for cooperation Offering victims tangible benefits or normalizing inappropriate behavior to gain their cooperation, Threats and coercion for cooperation Instilling fear in victims to ensure their participation in cooperation Abusive acts. Bribes and enticements to maintain silence. Offering benefits to victims to keep them silent after the abuse. Threats and coercion to maintain silence. Threatening victims to ensure they don't disclose the abuse.
[52:09]From the 2021 MSU article, Keeping Our Kids Safe. Introduction. Aim. Educate parents slash caregivers on ways to protect children slash teens from sexual abuse. Focus. Understanding the grooming process by child sexual predators. Understanding grooming. Definition. Deliberate actions by sexual predators to gain access to potential child victims. Misconception Predators randomly pick children or only focus on strangers. Reality Most predators know their victims and have some relationship with them. Goals of grooming Access potential child victims Conceal their actions Minimize chances of being caught. Grooming tactics Predators often follow a five-step process. Identify vulnerable children. Engage in peer-like activities with them.
[53:16]
The Five-Step Grooming Process
[53:17]Desensitize them to physical touch. Isolate them emotionally and physically. Make them feel responsible for any abuse. Steps may not always be linear. Predators can skip or combine steps.
[53:35]Identifying vulnerable children, predators' target, children seeking attention, children with low self-esteem, socially struggling children, children with weak boundaries, kids in difficult family situations, kids eager to please adults, disabled children, especially with communication issues.
[54:04]Engaging in peer-like involvement Predators Engage in child-friendly activities like online games Struggle with appropriate boundaries Adopt hobbies to appeal to children, Show more interest in children than adults Fail to act like adults when needed, Desensitizing children to touch Gradual process, Begin with innocuous touches, tickling, roughhousing Escalate the level of touch if unreported Pose intimate questions to desensitize further, Isolating children emotionally and physically. Tactics include keeping secrets with the child, providing material or emotional support, exaggerating family issues, seeking opportunities to be alone with the child. Making children feel responsible for the abuse. Predators make victims feel they quote, asked for or quote, tempted them. Manipulate victims into feeling responsible.
[55:23]Peaceful Parenting vs. Predation Peaceful parenting first sets up a paradigm of open, curious, and moral behavior. The children of peaceful parents trust their parents are open in their communication and are so emotionally connected that the child cannot hide any sudden dysfunctions and or mood swings caused by external abuse. Predators scan for children emotionally isolated from their parents, looking for those kids without close and loving connections to those around them. If they see a daughter in close, loving contact with her strong and devoted father, they will move on to other prey.
[56:09]Predators also look for children whose parents are stressed and overwhelmed, often single mothers emotionally hanging by a thread. The reason for this is that the children of a stressed parent will not want to bring additional stresses into the parent's life and so will tend to hide external abuse. Also, children with punitive parents will often hide external grooming and or abuse because they know that their parents will likely punish the children, not the predators. Abuse and single mothers, earlier we talked about child abuse being twice as deadly as smoking that is two times.
[57:00]
Alarming Risks for Children of Single Mothers
[57:01]Earlier, we talked about significant child abuse being twice as deadly as smoking. That is, two times. What if there was a factor which raised the chance of childhood sexual and physical abuse 40 times? Surely, as a society, we would be trumpeting this danger from the rooftops. For a comparison, if you had long-term concentrated exposure to asbestos, the increased risks of developing cancer from asbestos was 500%, five times.
[57:40]Have you heard of the risks of asbestos? Of course you have. Smokers are 10 times more likely to develop certain cancers than non-smokers. You know how dangerous smoking is, right? Five times, ten times? What about a risk that increased the physical and sexual abuse against children by 40 times? Have you ever heard of that? It's single mothers with new partners. In the article, Child Abuse and Other Risks of Not Living with Both Parents, published in Ethology and Sociobiology, Martin Daly and Margot Wilson write, quote, If their parents find new partners, children are 40 times more likely than those who live with biological parents, to be sexually or physically abused.
[58:38]According to a Missouri-based study of children living in homes with non-related adults, children are, quote, nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two biological parents. Ah, but single mothers usually vote for bigger government, so to heck with the children if it helps the power junkies, right?
[59:06]Conclusion, In conclusion, childhood sexual abuse is a grave violation, a cruel theft of innocence. As advocates of peaceful parenting, it is our duty to shine a light on this dark corner of childhood. By understanding its prevalence and grave harm, and by employing the principle of peaceful parenting, we can strive to protect our children, support survivors, and work towards a world where the innocence of childhood remains untainted.