Stefan Molyneux explores how parents should approach responsibility when they later recognize they may have harmed their children through choices like divorce, daycare, pregnancy stress, or simply not understanding early child development. He questions whether ignorance serves as a real excuse, given that parenting ranks among the most important roles a person can take on.
He also considers what can still be done afterward to support those children, especially following a divorce. Molyneux works through tough issues around sharing the full truth with kids, how to discuss a parent’s affair or addiction, and whether such honesty helps repair trust and moral authority or risks damaging them along with the children’s ideas of pair bonding.
A significant section of the discussion centers on accountability and the parts played by family, friends, and the broader community. He notes how often people spot red flags in a relationship yet remain quiet, and how that silence influences both the parents’ decisions and the children’s later grasp of events.
Molyneux then turns to childhood trauma and the process of grieving. He identifies major obstacles to healing, particularly self-contempt, the absence of self-empathy, and the common pattern where harmed children grow up excusing others while holding themselves at fault. This dynamic, he explains, leaves them open to exploitation in relationships and at work.
Finally, he addresses psychiatry and psychology in relation to child abuse, trauma, and social power. He also briefly covers violence and crime, arguing that dangerous offenders may need removal from society no matter how their behavior developed.
0:00:00 - Sunday Morning Philosophy
0:03:21 - Divorce and Childhood Harm
0:06:31 - Parenting Without Preparation
0:19:33 - Truth After the Split
0:28:25 - Lies, Trust, and Divorce
0:40:42 - Honesty’s Cost in Families
0:49:10 - Community Responsibility to Intervene
0:53:59 - Marriage Red Flags
1:06:07 - Childhood Trauma Barriers
1:23:02 - Truth Versus Psychiatry
1:41:36 - Bukele and Crime Control
[0:00:00] Good, good, good morning, everybody. Welcome to the 17th of May, 2026. Welcome to your Sunday morning philosophy. Chit, chat, bing, bang, bongo. And I guess we'll go straight to callers. And thank you all for joining me this morning. Raymond? I should probably just get some eye surgery, just a laser eye surgery. Can you hear me now?
[0:00:37] How are you doing today?
[0:00:38] I'm good. How are you doing, man?
[0:00:40] Not too bad. Thanks for taking my question. I ran across a study from Stanford University years ago. It was on IQ. It was a 75 or 85-year study. And there was a lot of ancillary information. And one of the things that they concluded from the study was that divorce actually affected a child more so than the death of one parent.
[0:01:19] And my question is, you've talked in the past about if a person, an adult is struggling with drugs, it's probably the result of some sort of childhood trauma. You've talked about your experience in daycare, and you've talked about the stress that daycare brings on children, high cortisol levels, things of that nature. And I was wondering if an adult who has a child.
[0:01:57] Who at the time didn't know what happens during the first three years of development of a baby, the size of the brain and what happens during the first three years. If a woman, for example, was pregnant and was so concerned with her career during pregnancy that she raised her stress levels, which then affected the cortisol levels in the baby, if parents put their children in daycare, if parents got divorced and created a really severe adverse childhood experience for their children, if they realize later on down the line and now maybe they're divorced or whatever the case may be and they have an eight-year-old or a 10-year-old or you have heard these strategies where some parents will say, well, if we're going to get divorced, it's better to wait for the child to go to college. But now I'm hearing that that's not a good idea because a child still needs a stable environment, at least to think of a stable environment, and you don't want to drop that on them when they go to college. If you figure these things out or learn these things later on down the line, do you know of any mitigating things that you can do to reverse, heal, or just make up for the damage that you unknowingly did for your child in the past based off your decisions?
[0:03:22] Right. It's a great question. It's a very deep question, and I really, really appreciate that. But let me understand what you mean a little bit more, and I appreciate the breaking out of the question. When you say unknowingly did... Tell me what you mean by that. I mean, I think everybody knows that divorce is bad for kids. Now, people will say to themselves, of course, they'll say, well, yes, but constantly fighting and screaming parents is even worse. And, you know, the kid needs at least to not see that, as if those things are just absolutes. And so when you say unknowingly did to their kids.
[0:04:05] Do you mean that parents say heard or read the propaganda that that you know daycare is good kids need to socialize and you know you need to see a career and your children need to see you working and so do you mean that they didn't know it because they just absorbed the propaganda about that like the anti-child propaganda that's going on like childism is the ultimate bigotry in the world that's never even really discussed. Do you mean, because there could be some unknowing stuff for sure, like way back in the day, before the internet and before these sort of studies came out, maybe you gave your kids SSRIs because you were told, well, it's correcting a chemical imbalance in the brain, and it's like insulin for diabetes, and the medical establishment had signed off on it, and your doctor told you it was the right thing, and this, that, and the other, and you never researched anything else. And like, is it that kind of stuff where it's sort of propaganda-based or is it something else? I just want to make sure I know what you mean by unknowingly harmed your child.
[0:05:15] That's a part of it. But I would say, for example, I did not know that one side of the brain is three times larger than the other side. I forget which side, but one side of the brain is three times larger and that larger side is a part of the brain that, It picks up pattern recognition, things of that nature. So, you know, if you have a child who is in daycare versus a child who is at home, the child who is at home, for example, will be exposed to, I forget the number, the exact number, but they're exposed to a lot more words than children in daycare. So you just don't know these things. You just don't know how important it is. The first three years, the brain is soaking up a lot of different things. I think a lot of people just decide to date together. They decide to want to have a child and that's it. But they don't know the cortisol levels, the oxytocin, the skin-to-skin contact, the vasopressin. They don't know these things. And maybe a lot of people still, they will never know these things. But if you do figure those things out and you say, oh my gosh, it's just something that you can do to reverse it.
[0:06:31] Okay. And I appreciate that. So when you were a kid, I mean, you went through a wide variety of tests, right? And, and starting pretty early when you get to spelling tests. I remember getting grammar tests when I was in boarding school at the age of six, and you go through a wide variety of tests and you know, these tests are coming up and are you expected to study so that you can pass these tests.
[0:07:02] Yes, you're expected to study.
[0:07:04] Okay. So we put that in position on six-year-olds. At least we used to. I don't know what the case is these days, but that's the way that I grew up. And even if it's not six these days, it's, you know, eight or nine or ten. Now, were you allowed to say, I didn't study, therefore I'm not responsible?
[0:07:28] No.
[0:07:29] Okay. And what about taxes? I mean, it used to be the case that people could do their taxes on their own. But now, in particular, if you're self-employed or you're running some sort of LLC or whatever it is, your taxes are functionally impossible to do on your own. And so if you did your very best, you know, like you did a little bit of studying and you just sort of filled out the forms as best you could, would you be responsible for if you made mistakes and underpaid your taxes?
[0:08:04] Yes, with a few penalties on top.
[0:08:06] Yeah, and you could, in fact, end up with not just financial penalties, but you could end up with criminal legal action. You could go to jail, right? Even though the tax system is ridiculously complex and there's no person alive who knows the entirety of the tax system and so on. Yeah. As a whole, we have a society where you are expected to know things, and you are required to study, and not studying for them, for those things, whatever they are, is punished. And sometimes quite severely. Like, we think of, oh, well, you failed the test as a kid, but again, back in my day, and maybe it's still the case now, they might hold you back a year. Like you could lose an entire year of your life being stuck in school, which is almost like extending someone's prison sentence or something like that. And the problem I have, and again, I'm happy to be corrected or to have more nuance massaged into this perspective is logically, I can't figure out how we have lower standards for parents than the standards they inflict on their children. And so if the parents say, I was always told as a kid, and maybe you heard this too, ignorance of the law is no excuse. Did you ever hear that?
[0:09:34] I have, yes.
[0:09:35] Even though the law is ridiculously complicated, is kind of subjective in a way, like we used to have a more objective common law. Now, you know, if you're in England, let's say, and you post something on the internet, do you know if it's legal or not? Nope. You probably don't, unless it's like the recipe for scrambled eggs or something.
[0:09:57] So ignorance of the law is no excuse, even though the law is so complicated that even experts can't tell you what is and is not legal in many situations. You have to comply with taxes, even though taxes are ridiculously complex. And when you say ignorance of the law is no excuse. Well, taxation is a legal framework. Again, that's horrendously complicated. So I was just kind of confused. Honestly, I mean, and again, I'm happy to have nuance and it could be that I'm missing something obvious here. But how do parents get to say, I did the best I could with the knowledge I had when they didn't do any particular research or reading about the most important thing, which is how to raise a child. Like people will say, parenting is the most important job. You know, you're literally responsible for the physical, emotional, and mental, and moral development of an entire human being that you have 24-7 control over. That is much more important than just about anything else in life, other than maybe taking care of your own health and all of that mental health and physical health, because you can't do much good as a parent if you're sick or crazy. So when you say they inadvertently.
[0:11:18] Harm their children, then my question would be.
[0:11:24] Did they do the research? Did they read about how to become parents? And look, I'm not talking about become experts in everything, but I mean, did they read any books on parenting? Because children are expected to know and memorize spelling words that are pretty unimportant in the long run, you know, when you're little. It's nice to know how to spell, but you can also get that just from reading as a whole. It's nice to know grammar, but it's not essential. Especially now, of course, that you can get, AI to check grammar and so on. So I guess that's my question is when you say inadvertently harm, the way that I look at it, and again, I'm very happy to be corrected on this, but the way that I look at it is sort of like if someone pretends to be a doctor, you know, they set themselves up as a doctor, they get the office, they get a secretary, nobody checks their paperwork. It's from some foreign, I don't know, well, I guess you couldn't really get away with a foreign university, but let's just say that they print out and they pretend to be a doctor. And let's say they've, you know, done some reading or whatever.
[0:12:28] And would we say that that person is inadvertently harming their patients? Well, no, because they know that they're supposed to be a doctor and they know that they're not a doctor. And so parents know that they're supposed to read about being parents. They know they're supposed to be experts at parenting. They know they're supposed to, because it's the most important job they're ever going to do. And they also, everybody knows, and this is the case even when I was a kid, that there are tons and tons of books about parenting.
[0:12:55] And there's a magazine called Parents that lays out a bunch of stuff. Now, I don't know if it's good or bad or whatever, but to me, if you read all the experts and all the experts are wrong, no problem. Like that then the blame lies with the experts or the state of knowledge or something like that. But most parents do not put any studying into being parents. So then when they say, well, I inadvertently harmed my children, I mean, if you're pregnant, you should read...
[0:13:29] About pregnancy. Honestly, the first thing my wife did was pick up a book on pregnancy. We read through it. I picked up books on parenting because it's important to do a good job, but the most important job that you're ever going to have. So the inadvertent stuff, it's a tough one for me. It's a tough one for me because in the modern world, and this has been the case since I was a kid, and it's even more the case now, people aren't doing the traditional, right? So when you talk to a young woman and you say, would you like a marriage like your grandmothers? I mean, you know, back in the day, the women stayed home, the men went to work, and the man was generally the head of the household, at least in terms of guidance and the bigger decisions, and they would say, absolutely not. I want to be an equal. I want to work. So they're willing to throw away tradition and willing to throw away the past, which is fine. I mean, that's whatever. I mean, that's just the state of things at the moment, and that's fine. So they can't say, well, I really, really want to.
[0:14:43] Raise my children the way my grandmother raised the children, because they really don't want anything to do with their grandmother's life, which means that they have to find some other way to raise their children, right? So, you're going to throw out the way that you were raised by your grandparents, which is, again, it's fine. There were pluses and minuses in the grandparents. So, they say, well, I don't want the old life. I don't want the old world. I don't want the old ways. Okay. So, how are you going to raise your kids then? How are you going to raise your kids? And if they have done a bunch of research and read from a wide variety of sources and all of those sources are wrong hey man free pass i mean that that's really that's a shame but i don't know parents who've read books on parenting uh that much i mean my friends obviously we all have but i mean that's sort of a different matter and some of this comes of course from general society, and some of this comes from my callers who i know are sort of a self-selecting group so i get that that's not objective. But some of it also came from, you know, when the media went after me, nobody stepped up and says, well, yes, but he's advocating for peaceful parenting, and that's morally consistent. And he's saying, don't yell at and hit children. And also, you don't have to stay in abusive relationships. Like nobody said any of that sort of stuff. So at least not anywhere that I could see outside of sort of the people who were supporters of what I was doing.
[0:16:05] So as a whole, I don't quite understand the inadvertent stuff, because if you're going to be a parent and you don't want to do.
[0:16:14] What your grandparents did. I could say parents, but you know, uh, the parents, uh, it's the parents of boomers and they didn't really raise their children at all. And you don't want to do what your parents did. You don't want to do what your grandparents did, which is fine, but then you got to figure out what to do. And then if you're not going to do what tradition is, you have to do your education. If you're not going to raise children and have a family in the way that your grandparents did or your parents did, then you're going to have to figure out how to do it. And I don't know that people have. So again, help me out. I'm happy to be corrected, but help me understand what it means by inadvertent harm towards children from people who haven't really done much research.
[0:16:59] Well okay well I guess what I'm also, asking is the parent who wakes up and has an epiphany one day or just realizes that they put more effort in the research, in terms of buying a car or put more effort and study and time and energy in researching buying a home than raising a child. And they realize it now. They feel guilt. Is there another set of research or a strategy or something that you can do at this stage of the game to help your kids along? Do you apologize to your kids? Do you, I don't know. If your kids seem to be functioning normally, do you bring things up? Do you, do you apologize? Do you stir up a hornet's nest and all of a sudden now you have problems because you're mentioning things?
[0:18:04] Can you give me a, sorry to interrupt, can you give me a more specific example, uh, just so I know what kind, do you mean like if, if you got divorced, like let's say you got divorced?
[0:18:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So let's say you get divorced.
[0:18:15] Okay.
[0:18:16] And you know, do you now, do you talk about the divorce? How do you talk about it? Do you try to stabilize their situation? Let's say, do the parents, if the kids prefer to, stay in one home and you have a 50-50 arrangement, do you force that arrangement or do you just let the kids do what they, not do what they want to do, but do you now prioritize the kids' needs over yours?
[0:18:50] Okay, so are you talking about during a divorce or years later?
[0:18:53] Years later, after the divorce, the divorce is finalized, and now you have a situation where let's just say, for example, year or year, the kids are going back and forth between homes and they don't like it. Do you talk to the kids? And I mean, hopefully both parents are now selfless enough at this stage to do what's best for the kids. But I was just wondering if there's if there's something out there information to again the the physiological things the cortisol something that you can do
[0:19:26] to i guess heal the situation a strategy to heal the situation that.
[0:19:33] It's created and again great question i appreciate your patience as i i want to make sure i'm targeting a very big question and doing something that's useful to you in the audience so can we set up a hypothetical just so i have something to reference which is, that the parents got divorced, you know, with a couple of kids, average age of 10. And now they are talking to their kids with an average age of 20, you know, 18, 20, 22, 8, 10, 12, something like that.
[0:20:03] Okay.
[0:20:03] No, I mean, I don't want to impose a, is that a reasonable scenario? And they're trying to figure out how to repair the damage. Sorry, go ahead.
[0:20:10] That's a good situation.
[0:20:11] Okay. So, they didn't have the conversation when the kids were young. Would you consider that a plus or a minus? Let's say the 12 year old, right? So, mom and I are getting divorced and they have the conversation with the 12 year old and they obviously withhold some information or don't talk about what happened to, let's say it was an affair or something, but now they're talking to their kids as adults. Is that sort of, and they want to repair the damage. Is that right?
[0:20:39] Yes. Um, but I, I guess, I guess that's tricky, right? If, if you withhold information, is some information too overwhelming for a small child? Is it appropriate to withhold? I don't know. That's another barrier.
[0:20:55] You have to be told something for little kids. If it was a sexual indiscretion or an affair, that's kind of tough. And usually in a divorce, the children are lied to. I don't know if the damage is more the lying or more the family breakup, but there is a lying. So let's say the mother has an affair. Uh, are they going to say, uh, that, uh, mom had sex with a man outside of marriage despite making the vow for monogamy and mom, you know, chose her own selfish pleasures over, uh, what was good for the family and, and so on. You know, the mom's not going to want to hear that. Like the mom is not going to want the kids to know that. Right.
[0:21:42] No, but do you think that's something that the kids should know at some point in time?
[0:21:50] I mean, the truth is always better. I mean, the truth is always better in the long run. The problem is, of course, is that if you've got kids, again, I'll just say 10, it's the average age, 8, 10, 12, whatever, right? If you've got kids who are young and they're told the truth, let's say mom had an affair, right? And they're told the truth. And then mom tries to exercise some moral authority over her children after they know she cheated on the family. She's really cheating on her children. What's going to happen to her moral authority?
[0:22:30] She will have none.
[0:22:31] She will have none. In fact, she'll be negative. The children will have contempt for her, right? So is she going to be able, let's say she had the affair at 40 or 35, let's say 35, right? So she had the affair at 35, and then she's trying to tell the 15-year-old not to be a hedonist, right? To do the right thing and to resist peer pressure, even though peer pressure feels better in the moment, like succumbing to peer pressure feels better in the moment. So she's going to try and tell a 15-year-old to resist hedonism while she succumbed to hedonism at the age of 35 i mean then the kid is going to say well you destroyed an entire family for hedonism at the age of 35 who on earth are you to tell me to resist hedonism good luck right.
[0:23:22] Yeah that's right um but again now in this scenario the father can he be honest and at what stage.
[0:23:34] Okay so let's see let's say he tells the kids sorry to interrupt let's say he tells the kids i mean then the kids the next time that the mom tries to impose some moral discipline on them what are the kids going to say.
[0:23:47] Dad told me you did x y and z.
[0:23:49] Who are you to tell me that blah blah blah blah right.
[0:23:54] Right but would that you know they always say don't badmouth the other parent but it's the truth at the same time.
[0:24:00] Well that's a challenge too right yeah that's a challenge too so it's uh it's really tough. Let's say, to switch the scenarios, let's say that the parents got a divorce because the dad was a gambling addict. Well, that's, you know, well, the reason we're broke is that dad gambled all the money away. And then, and neither parent gets away, right? Because the purpose of parenting, especially for teenagers, is to say, you really need to make good decisions. And let's say the mom had an affair, then both parents lose moral credibility because the father's going to say you need to make good decisions and the kids are going to say what?
[0:24:59] Well, forget the decision that you made.
[0:25:01] You married mom and she cheated on you.
[0:25:04] Right, right.
[0:25:05] So, and also the parents need to protect the children from the peer pressure that will drag them down to the lowest common denominator. My peer pressure is always dragging you down to the lowest common denominator. And you say, no, no, no. You need to make decisions about your friends based on the quality of their character. Not whether they're hot, not whether they're cool or popular or invasive or seductive or charming or funny. Like you need to make decisions based on the, and then we say, well, you chose mom, she cheated on you. Like we only exist because you made bad decisions. And now you're telling us to make good decisions. And you're telling us to make good decisions decades before you were still making bad decisions. Or if the father's a gambler, right? And the mother says, well, you know, you need to make good decisions and say, well, mom, you married a gambler and you weren't able to fix him. And you stayed and you gave him children, right? Because you got to date him. Like there's a funny thing that happens in the teenage years. Sorry, this sounds like a side quest and I'll keep it brief, but it's not. The funny thing that happens in the teenage years, which is when you start dating, you really get a sense of how much your parents got to vet each other.
[0:26:22] It's a wild phenomenon, right? So when I started dating, I dated girls and I evaluated, girls and I was like, you know, either the relationships didn't work out for whatever reason, but I got a real sense of, oh, my parents went through all of this. They met each other, they flirted a little bit, one of them asked the other out, the man usually would ask the woman out in my parents' day. And then they dated, they got to date for a year, maybe, or more. And then they got to get engaged. And then they got to.
[0:26:58] Be engaged for a year or more, and then they got married, and then they usually waited for a year or more to have children. So, you know, at least three years of vetting. Plus, if they knew each other socially beforehand, that could be another six months to a year. So, you know, and if any of these things are delayed, we're talking about half a decade of vetting before you have kids.
[0:27:27] And when you start dating and you realize how much information you get in the dating world, man it's tough to then say to your parents yeah yeah you were fooled yeah you you were just you were fooled because you know you know that the massive amount of bandwidth of information that's coming in from the dating world. So, the purpose of parenting is to say, make good decisions. Now, the only way, I'm sorry, let me do one other thing and then we'll get back to you. So, if you withhold the truth from the children when they're young, let's say that their mother had an affair, and you don't say anything to do with that, then the problem is the children don't understand why the divorce happened. You've heard me ask this a million times in call-in shows. Why did your parents get divorced? And how many people know that?
[0:28:26] Very few. Very few. And so, if the mother had an affair and the parents seem to be getting along okay, because maybe the dad didn't know about the affair or whatever it is, right? So, you know, of things that are trundling along, kind of okay stuff. And then the parents say, we're getting a divorce. And they won't tell you why. What do you process as a kid? You can just fall out of love. You can just end up incompatible, even though you got to vet someone for at least three or four years, even though you've now lived together with them. Let's say the eldest is 12, you know, and so 16, after 16 years and three kids together, you can just wake up one morning and fall the F out of love. It just goes. It's just you wake up and I don't like this person anymore. And then it's so bad that you got to move out.
[0:29:27] I mean, that destroys the children's trust in pair bonding if they don't know the truth. If you tell them the truth, they're going to have a problem with both parents and thus be more susceptible to peer pressure. If you don't tell them the truth, they're confused at the time. And then 10 years later, you tell them the truth and they're like, oh my God, I was, you guys lied to my face for 10 years and I didn't even know. And then the trust in the parents is toast, right? I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't know. Uh, uh, uh, uh, the only, every time I pause like that, my daughter mocks it. But the only thing you can do is just lay the whole thing bare and lay the whole thing bare. And that's brutal. I mean, the only thing you can say is, I was unwise. My parents raised me badly. The culture taught me badly. I married my spouse out of lust and habit, and my bad parents approved of her or him, and I never really loved him. I I just wanted to get laid on a regular basis or he had money and I wanted financial security and it was just basically kind of trashy, not based on any virtues, not based on any actual moral respect, not based on any devotion to.
[0:30:54] Higher ethics or anything like that. It was just comfortable, familiar, kind of sexy, but there was never any particular virtue in it. And I ended up getting married out of inertia and habit and the approval of bad people in my life. I mean, you just have to lay the whole thing bare.
[0:31:15] And, you know, if the mother has an affair and the father says, yes, it was wrong for her to have the affair, but I was also, I used a tactic of emotional coldness and withdrawal whenever I was upset. I didn't talk things out. I just froze her out. And then eventually, you know, if there's nothing to eat at home, you got to go out to eat because human beings have to eat and human beings need affection. And I didn't give her any affection because I was punishing her and or whatever, right? I mean, or the woman might say, well, one of the reasons he had a gambling addiction is because I was constantly nagging him that we didn't have enough money and he was working very hard. And just to shut me up, he tried to win more money. It went the opposite way or whatever. You'd have to take your responsibility or you got to be brutally honest and say, oh yeah, we had a big fight on a third date, but we just kept going because that was emotionally comfortable for us because we were raised in verbally abusive environments. And there was just this kind of habit and like you can just, you just got to bring everything out, unpack the whole thing. And then you have to say, the mother has to say, let's say she had the affair. She's going to have to say, oh, no, I threatened your father with a brutal divorce if he ever told the kids about the affair. I forced your father to lie or I wouldn't have let him see you. Holy crap. I mean, so you get the truth.
[0:32:31] And the truth sets you free. What do you do as a 22-year-old if your parents are that nakedly honest with you? And they say, yeah, we basically, I guess at 22, they're in their late 40s, early 50s or something like that, depending on when they got married and had kids, but 40s, 50s, say, okay, well, this is who they've been.
[0:32:56] And now they're going to be super honest with us. And sometimes that super honesty is the end of the relationship. Because where do you go after that when you say, okay, so my parents were hypocrites for the last 22 years and before that, and they told me that I should resist peer pressure and I should not be a hedonist, and I should do the right thing, not the easy thing. And they didn't follow any of that. And they lied about it. And, you know, dad lied about being a gambling addict and mom lied about having an affair. And then they bullied each other to not tell us the truth. And they lied to our faces for 10, like, where do you stand at the end of all of that? What is there other than a giant smoking ruin of visible truth that I can't see what you build on from there? Does that make, like, if you say, well, for the last 22 years, yeah, it's mostly been a lie. Yeah. I mean, we've mostly been inflicting values on you that we would never in a million years follow ourselves. So yeah, our entire parenting was based kind of on hypocrisy and bullying and lust and lies and hedonism and habits and whatever it is, while telling you to avoid all of those things.
[0:34:05] And we didn't go to family therapy or couples counseling. We didn't read books. We didn't write, well, punishing you for not studying for useless exams that mean nothing. Well, the biggest exam, which was how to be a functioning family, we didn't study at all or get any expert. How are you supposed to move forward after that? And I think that's why it so rarely happens. Does that make sense?
[0:34:28] Yeah, it makes sense. I'm wondering, there is a phrase, there's a saying that good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment. And if you're a parent in that position, maybe if you're humble with your kids and if you acknowledge wrongdoing early enough, maybe you can gain some semblance of credibility with them. And if you're honest with them and genuine, you can gain some trust and they will believe in you then somewhat after that.
[0:35:05] It certainly is possible. But then the problem is, as parents, do we allow our children to make endless bad decisions in the hopes that they will gain wisdom from those bad decisions?
[0:35:19] Right.
[0:35:20] That's not how we parent, is it?
[0:35:23] All right. All right.
[0:35:24] We say, I mean, we don't say, sure, you can absolutely, uh, you can go and bounce that basketball right next to the busy road. I hope that you make good decisions, you know, but if, if you make bad decisions and get like, so, or, uh, you, you can totally learn how to ride a bike, uh, on a steep hill with no helmet. Right we we are constantly intervening in our children's lives to prevent them from harm so we say it is wisdom or correction or outside authority or expertise that prevents us from making really bad decisions and then if you say to your kids well you know uh wisdom comes from bad decisions right? Wisdom comes from experience. Good decisions come from experience and experience comes from bad decisions. We say, well, you know, we couldn't have made better decisions because good decisions have to come out of bad decisions, but that's not how we parent it. And that's how do you address that? Again, I'm open to it. I don't see how.
[0:36:34] I see. I see. I see. It's a problem.
[0:36:37] And if parents understood the impossibility of honest conversations after a divorce, they'd work harder to save their marriages. Right now, parents just can bullshit to the grave. Right now, parents can just, oh, you know, there was an incompatibility and, you know, we just kind of fell out of love. We drifted apart, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they're sort of, they just pour this immense amount of BS on the entire situation and they don't sit there and say, well, what does this do to my kid's perception of the sanctity of marriage? What does this do to my kids' perception of the longevity of love, that you can be so passionately in love that you choose each other out of all the people you could have chosen or no person at all. And you get married and you make vows to be with each other for eternity and you have children. And then, you know, you just kind of drift apart. You know, it's, you know, like if I were to, let's say that I was a lawyer, right? And I was a good lawyer.
[0:37:37] And then I just quit. i quit i quit my law practice right and i i was pretty unemployed and unemployable in a way right let's say i went out in some spectacular fashion right and i would say to my my kid or my kids, you know say dad what happened with your career i said you know i loved law as even as a kid i would watch like legal dramas and i loved the law and i would read about the law even as a teenager and I studied it for years and I spent eight years becoming a lawyer and getting the bar and then I'd really worked 80 hours a week being a lawyer. And then I woke up one day when I was 41, I just woke up and I hated the law.
[0:38:27] I couldn't do it anymore. It was repulsive to me. And I sacrificed everything, blew up my entire finances just to get as far away from the law as humanly possible after being interested in it for 20 or 30 years, loving it, sacrificing everything to be a lawyer. I just woke up one day hating the law. No reason. I guess me and the law, we just drifted apart. And I fled and destroyed my entire career and ruined my life, and I got sued because I wasn't representing people, and I went through all of that. But kids, you should follow your dreams. What are the kids going to get out of that?
[0:39:07] Oh, well, the kids, it's irrational and insofar as kids having families, it's going to undermine their abilities to fall in love and maintain relationships because they will always feel a level of uncertainty.
[0:39:27] Yeah, but why would you sacrifice everything to be a lawyer or a doctor or an accountant or an engineer if you can just wake up and hate it for no reason? Or just not even if you just wake up and hate it, you just, you know, every day I just hated the law more and I didn't care about the law and I was happy. I was willing to get sued to stop being a lawyer because that's kind of like divorce proceedings, right? So then what you do is you kind of have an answer that wrecks your children's ambition and throughput. Because if you say you can be totally in love and then dislike the person enough to blow up the whole family and harm the children and wreck the finances, and there's no reason for it. Well, then you say, hey, well, it wasn't my fault. My heart, you know, the cri de coeur. My heart wants what the heart wants. The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing, and you can just fall in love and out of love, and it's just kind of like being tied to the back of a coked-up horse. You just get dragged. Then how on earth are children supposed to pair bond? If this is the parent's story that you can just drift apart and you fall out of love, nothing you can do. You know your heart just goes on its own direction and you're just dragged along, how are the children supposed to ever say till death do us part.
[0:40:43] So, there's a reason why you never get, I've always told this to listeners, you will never get honesty about a divorce. You will never. You will get one parent blaming the other, the other person blaming the one parent without talking about their own culpability. They will pour vitriol, right? I mean, this is my mother's story, that she was in hospital after she gave birth to me. She was so depressed and non-functioning that they i think she went through a lot of let's just say physical trauma at the end of world war ii at the hands of the communist russians uh the genghis khan flooding over germany types and i think childbirth probably reawakened all of that trauma and she was very uh non-functioning and my father according to my mother i don't know the truth, but my father came in and she was so depressed she couldn't get out of bed and she was in the hospital for months. And he said, staring out the window and he said, but I'd much rather be fishing, you know, this cold British contempt stuff, right? He was Irish, but he went to boarding school and he went to boarding school in England. I know that because I went to the same one or he sent me to the same one. So this is my mother's story about how cold and hostile and contemptuous my father was, I don't know the truth.
[0:42:11] But she said this not with, I'm so sorry that I chose such a cold-hearted man to be a father. Nothing like that was ever said, and never will be said, and never will be said. My mother will never ever say, I'm sorry that I chose this guy who was a bad guy to her to be a father.
[0:42:33] I'm sorry that I didn't choose a more warm-hearted guy for me, for your brother, for you. That will never happen. It's always just, oh, he's so... She'd make up these lists of all the things she wanted him to pay for, and so on. And he was just a bad guy, and he betrayed her, and there's no truth in it. I mean, my mother was a very attractive woman when she was younger, and particularly from German stock, she stayed slim her whole life, and great facial features, and so on. And she could have got just about any guy. And this is the guy that she chose. And then she was not married to him for very long, even though, and she had a lot of time to vet him. I mean, and they were living out in the bush and she was helping him with his PhD thesis and typing it all up endlessly. This is back in the day when you had to type it all up by hand and all of the footnotes and you had to design it all out ahead of time. It was crazy complicated back in the day to do this kind of stuff. And so she had, they were living in a, it's not quite a tent, but a sort of, um, it's like a trailer while he was working out in the bush. And so they were with each other a lot and they, you know, had all the chance in the world to get to know each other, to vet each other.
[0:43:47] Uh, of course my father's dead now a couple of years. I think my mother's still alive, but I will never get any honesty about what happened between them because to feel betrayed and to attack others is sheer heady ambrosia to most people, right? When you have a conflict with someone else, you withdraw from the conflict, you turn yourself into ice and you make the other person at fault. You're fine. They're just me. You're perfect. They're just bad. So how can you repair that? I think the kindest thing that you can do is to tell the absolute most essential brutal truth. Without self-pity, without blaming others, with a deep analysis of how you ended up making these bad decisions.
[0:44:51] And obviously to apologize, but to also acknowledge that now the child is 22 and only now is finding out the truth about his parents and their hypocrisy and their inflicting of standards upon him or her that they never followed themselves, that the truth was hidden to them, a great harm to them. Because if one person has an affair, the other person is a gambling addict. You can't tell the truth without harming the child hugely, and you can't lie without harming the child hugely. So there's no option in which the child is not deeply and grievously harmed. And then you have to keep lying about it year after year after year. So you tell the absolute truth. You open up the vaults. You declassify all the classified information with the true understanding that that probably marks the end of your relationship with your children. They will appreciate hearing the truth, but you can't start building a relationship past 20 years when most of the previous 20 years have been lies and manipulations.
[0:45:59] It's sort of like if you have a business partner, and he was your business partner for 20 years and then the business ends and he wants to start a new business with you, but then he goes into great detail how he's been embezzling from you for 20 years. But he really wants to start a new business with you. Now, you will appreciate him, saying that he was embezzling from you for 20 years and maybe you won't pursue any legal action or whatever, but you'll, because it will be like, geez, I couldn't figure out why we never really had enough money and I couldn't figure out where all our money was going. And I thought I was really bad at accounting and I thought maybe the clients were stealing from us or the bank or I don't know what, but you know, thank you because now, now I know the truth. Now I know what was going on, right? Because when you're a parent and your children become adults, you have to rewrite the whole relationship because you're not the parent parent anymore. And so that relationship is over parent-child because they're no longer a child now it's parent-adult and not even adult-child it's just parent-adult i mean you'll always be the parent but.
[0:47:09] So that business is over with your prior partner, 20-year business is over, and then you find out that he was embezzling from you and lying about it and let you feel crazy and bad at business for 20 years, you'll appreciate him telling you the truth. Does that mean you want to go in business with him again and start up a new business and so on? Probably not. Probably not, because when your kids become adults, they can choose a relationship with anyone. They can have friends, they can have boyfriends, girlfriends, boyfriends and girlfriends, families and parents with which there's not this history of falsehood and manipulation and betrayal and lying. And anyway, so I don't know. I mean, I think the best thing you can do and maybe better relationships can come out of telling the truth. But I don't know how you build a new relationship on a decade or more of lying to people's faces about the truth. I don't know. Again, sorry, long speech, but let me know what you think.
[0:48:12] Um, it's, it's, it's a tough situation to put yourself in. I'm wondering, do you have a, an opinion on, well, the parents, the adults, they should have done their homework before they started a family, or they should have focused on a career or whatever the case may be. Do you assign any agency or responsibility to friends, family, the church, anyone else who may see the parents or the pregnant woman or whoever heading in a particular direction and saying or doing nothing or not, nothing, not shaming or any, trying to influence them to do better? Or is it strictly the parents, you're the adults, you made the decision,
[0:49:05] or can you spread that out a little bit in terms of responsibility?
[0:49:10] That's a fantastic point, and I massively praise you for bringing it up because that's really essential too. So based upon my own personal experience, not to make it about me, but it's easier if I don't have a theoretical. So I was with the wrong woman for years. And wrong woman, not that she was a terrible person or a horrible person, but we just couldn't quite get that rhythm of connection and so on. And it would have been the wrong person to marry. And the marriage, I don't think, would have succeeded. Now.
[0:49:48] Is that a me decision? Absolutely. Absolutely. And I had been reading about self-knowledge since my mid-teens, and I knew better. I was not implementing it. Now, of course, later I can find out, well, when I actually started implementing philosophy, I lost every single one of my relationships. People were willing to let me be philosophical as long as I didn't actually enact or live my values. I was fine to talk about them and I could argue about interest rates of the Great Depression and that was fine. But I couldn't actually bring the requirement for truth, honor, and mutual respect into our actual relationships because when I did, I was dropped like a hot potato. So the stakes were high to put it mildly. But if I had married the wrong woman.
[0:50:45] And we had kids, and the kids say, well, why did you marry someone where the marriage didn't work out? I mean, I would have to be honest, of course, and say, and then they would say, well, what about your friends and family? I mean, you had, I won't go through all the lists, but you had, you know, at least a dozen people that you were close to at that time, including some immediate family. Why didn't they ever ask you if you were really happy? Why didn't they ever ask you if it was the right thing? Why didn't they ever point out any red flags or warning flags? Why didn't they ever say anything? And that's an interesting question, right? Which is if you end up in a bad situation in life, and you're part of a tight community, it is not a solo problem. It is not a solo problem.
[0:51:38] And that aspect of things is, so you had people in your life who didn't actually really care about you. Because if you care about someone, you ask them, you know, it's been some years you've been with this woman. I don't get a sense that you guys are really, I think you kind of, you kind of hit and miss from time to time and so on. And I know you stopped seeing each other once or twice and, and so on. Like, how are you doing? Is it, is it satisfying for you? Is it good for you? Tell me about the pluses and minuses. Pretty easy conversation to have. And Lord knows I had tens of thousands of hours of conversation with people. They could have asked that. My mother could have asked that. Other people could have asked that. And they didn't. They just let it trundle along and either let it trundle along because they didn't care or they wanted a bad outcome for me. I mean, it's really the only, if people let you continue making bad choices or don't, it's not like they let you, but if they don't talk to you about whether this is the right or wrong thing for you, the good or bad thing for you and so on, then they either don't care about you or they want a bad outcome for you.
[0:52:47] I mean, if someone I know and claim to love and care about is checking their phone while about to walk into traffic and I don't say anything, it's either because I don't care or I want them to get hit by a car. I mean, honestly, there's no other logical outcome. You say, oh, well, people have their own blah, blah, blah. If people claim to love you and they don't ask you if you're happy in a relationship when there's indications that the relationship is not great.
[0:53:15] And the funny thing is, is that when I met my wife, everyone had more unease about her, who's been fantastic, than they did for... A woman who was not great for me. Oh, geez. Right? I mean, and that's why I think that they wanted, if I were to sort of get real deep, I'd say, well, they were anti-philosophy, so they wanted to let a philosopher come to a bad end so they could disrespect and avoid moral philosophy. He was so philosophical, look what happened to him, right?
[0:53:51] And I think it was more vengeance against philosophy than it was anything particularly personal to me. But...
[0:53:59] If you're in a battle with somebody watching your back and you keep getting whacked from behind, at some point, they either don't care to cover your six or they want you to get whacked. There's really not any other particular option. So with kids, when they look at their parents, if the parents had a negative or hugely problematic or divorce, failed marriage or whatever, right? Then they'll say, okay, so your parents, your aunts, your uncles, your cousins, your second cousins, your friends, your colleagues. Nobody said, are you sure this is the right thing? I see some red flags. Let's talk about it. Not one person. They all just hands off and encourage and we'll pedal the bike faster and we'll come to the wedding and we'll toast you and we'll sing and we'll dance and everything's going to be great.
[0:54:47] So everybody missed the red flags. And then what they have to do is to say, well, there were no red flags. It fooled me completely. There were no red flags and nobody saw any red flags. And he was a perfect mimic of a good person until mask off. He wasn't bad. Okay. So then you're telling your kids that somebody for years can mimic being a great person and then just can become a terrible person, which again, destroys your children's capacity to pair bond. They can't trust people. Now, if they have to say, well, there were red flags, I ignored them. Your grandparents, his grandparents, her grandparents, aunts, because it's on both sides of the family.
[0:55:34] Friends, family, colleagues, extended family. It's probably bare minimum 40 people on each side of the marriage who just let that sucker sail on, sail ahead. Went to the wedding, cheered, toasted, made speeches, and you can see the wedding footage, of course, for most weddings over the last, I don't know, 40 years. And everybody was like, yeah, it's great.
[0:56:06] 80 people. And again, if you have a big old Mediterranean wedding, you got 200 people at the wedding, 200 people at the wedding, all cheering and stomping and clapping and breaking classes and Mazel Tov and whatever is going on. You got 200 people, 180, 300, 400 people, you get huge ass weddings, right? So 80 people, 100 people, 200 people, All missed the red flags. Nobody asked any questions. How are the kids going to look upon the entirety of the extended family and friends? Right? And then they got to go if they want. I mean, if they want to find out the truth, they don't just go to their parents. They go to their aunts. Hey, man, you were my parents' brother or sister. I mean, did you not notice anything? Did they come to you with any problems? No, we didn't notice anything. Then you're idiots. Right? And you're untrustworthy, or you're lying. Either way, how do I have a relationship? So yeah, the ripple damage is huge. Sorry, does that make sense?
[0:57:16] It makes sense. It's a very complex problem. It's very interesting. I guess you just have to inform yourself before you perform and do anything. But with all of the propaganda out there you know women going to work and two-parent households and all these different things it's it's it's tough so.
[0:57:42] Okay and i'm sorry i agree with you it is tough yeah but propaganda is just the adult form of peer pressure all the cool kids are doing it right all the cool kids all the cool girls they're going out becoming boss babes, all the cool guys are players they go around and try and have sex with everything with half a pulse all the cool kids are doing it and don't you want to be a cool kid don't you want to be a modern, empowered independent trademark woman don't you want to be a a guy who's uh cool and has abs and is a player and and like all the cool kids are doing it and it's fine okay so and if the parents say yeah i mean i based my entire adult life on peer pressure, Okay, that's fine, but then what are you going to say to your kids when peer pressure comes for them? Oh, kid, you shouldn't succumb to peer pressure. I'm sorry, I've got to go to work because some feminist from 1960 told me to.
[0:58:38] Right, and parents will say to their kids when they do something foolish, if everyone was jumping off of a building, would you jump too? So that comes right back, and you're stumped. So it's, well, I guess it's conversations like these, you know, that will help.
[0:58:55] Well, if you don't have excuses, you make better decisions. If you have access to excuses, you're more likely to make bad decisions. So what I'm doing, a lot of what I'm doing, is I'm just taking away these excuses. Now, does that help people who've already made bad decisions? Well, no, not really. In the same way that when you publish that smoking is at least 50% likely to kill you if you're a smoker, does that help people who've been smoking a pack a day for 40 years? Nope. I mean, maybe it helps them get their will together or something like that. It doesn't help them, but A, it's true, and B, it will help people not become smokers. And so when I take away these excuses, this endless array of parental excuses, which is, you know, at least a third of my book, Peaceful Parenting, I just, and this is what I've been doing philosophically, I'm just taking away these excuses because they're not real. They're not real excuses. They're not valid excuses. And so taking away these excuses is very tough for parents who've already made the bad decision whose kids are adults. It's very tough for them. And, you know, I sympathize. I really do. But nonetheless, the important thing is not to coddle the people who've made bad decisions, but to help people make better decisions. And so.
[1:00:24] If people don't know how negative sugar can be, and then you tell them, right? Okay, well, then they can make better decisions. The people that have already lost their teeth or become fat or diabetic through sugar, you probably can't undo that, right? So, I don't really understand...
[1:00:44] How it is believable in society to say, well, we shouldn't talk about people who've made bad decisions because they'll be upset. I mean, there's this kind of trope. I think Oprah talked about it. He's like, all the old white people are racists, right? Well, if you're an old white person, does it feel good to be called a racist? Well, I don't imagine, but from their point of view, it's like, well, we have to call things out for what they are so that people don't become like old white people who are racists, right? And so, or they say, well, you know, housewives are losers and they don't really achieve anything and they stay dependent on a man and they're in a half childlike state. Well, that doesn't feel good to some grandmother who was a housewife her whole life, but from their perspective, from the sort of modern feminist perspective, it's like, well.
[1:01:31] You know, but we don't want women to follow this bad path of being homemakers and not self-actualizing and making money for the government and being able to fund the military industrial complex and have more daycare workers who will vote for the left and union money that flows to the Democrats or whatever it is, right? So my whole life, you know, I mean, do people, do males being, do they enjoy being told that they've been part of this evil patriarchy that has suppressed women since time immemorial? No, they don't feel good about that, but it doesn't matter. Their feelings don't matter. What the truth is, as it's perceived, what the truth is matters. And it doesn't matter if it makes people feel bad, you just got to pursue. So this is what I was told my whole life. And then, but then of course, you know, society is founded on hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is the main artery that brings propaganda to the brain because, and what I'm doing is I'm taking away people's excuses. I'm just saying, look, you inflicted these values on your six-year-old. You have to be held accountable to them yourself. And people hate you for that. Now, what's happened, of course, is that I've kept infinity in terms of like, it's more than zero and I don't know the number. I've kept countless. This is countless is better. I've kept countless marriages together. I've kept countless children safe by taking away the excuses. Because if you have all of these excuses...
[1:02:48] Then you're less likely to do the work. If you've ever had one of those really easy teachers or professors, and if you say, oh, the dog ate my homework, and the teacher says, oh, okay, that's fine, then don't bother about it, right? You don't have to do the homework. Or if you say, oh, I had a stomachache the day of the test, and the teacher says, oh, that's fine, you don't have to write it, I'll just give you the average mark. How likely are you to do schoolwork if your excuses are accepted? Well.
[1:03:18] You're unlikely to do the schoolwork if your excuses are going to be accepted and then you don't have to do the work. But if you take away the excuses and everybody's had these hard-ass teachers or professors who say, no, I will not accept excuses. Your essays have to be on time or you get an F. And unless you're calling me from the emergency ward and I can talk to your doctor, you have to get the paper in on time or you just get an F. Then people will do the work because the excuses aren't going to be acceptable. So people, so I'm just taken away. And I was never allowed all these excuses. I mean, I remember when I was fooling around in the back of the class in grade six, the teacher gave me lines. I will not fool around in the back of the class. And I was playing basketball and, you know, mashed up my wrist and could barely write.
[1:04:12] And I went in and said, I didn't do the lines because I can't write. And then she said, double. Okay. So even with a swollen wrist, like she could see the swollen wrist, I still had to write my lines, no excuses. So then I just programmed the computer to print out the lines and she accepted that because I could program a little easier than I could write. So, you know, again, I'm just pointing out that even as a kid, I was not allowed to have excuses, even when the excuses were, I can't even really hold a pencil right now. And so on, right? So I was not allowed excuses. And so I did work. And so if I take away parents' excuses, which are all bullshit excuses anyway, then it's bad for the parents who've already made the mistakes. But the point is that if you take away the excuses, new parents, newer parents, parents-to-be will do the work, if that makes sense.
[1:05:07] Okay. Makes a lot of sense. You put a lot of time in the answer. I appreciate it. And thanks a lot.
[1:05:14] Well, thank you, man. You are always welcome back. You had fantastic questions, and I really do appreciate the thoughtfulness of it, and I hope that the answers were good. And we'll get to the comments. I'm sort of seeing them flow by here, and I appreciate those as well. Borupski, if you would like to tell me what's on your mind, I'd be happy to chat. Hello yes sir go ahead.
[1:05:45] All right sorry uh i have my question written down.
[1:05:50] Are you on a speakerphone.
[1:05:53] I am i can turn level let me turn that off real quick.
[1:05:55] Yeah if you could i mean that's fine because i know you were listening and all that and i you never know when you're gonna be brought into the Dias.
[1:06:04] Okay, can you hear me now?
[1:06:05] Yes, go ahead.
[1:06:07] All right. What are the biggest barriers to grieving and healing from childhood trauma?
[1:06:15] The biggest barriers to healing from childhood trauma tend to be, thank you for the tip, Torco, I appreciate that. You can, of course, tip freedomain.locals.com. You can, of course, tip also at freedomain.com/donate. And yeah, the biggest barriers are the hostility of those around you for self-empathy. When you have empathy for yourself as a child, it triggers people enormously and makes them very angry and upset with you because your relationships are formed upon who you are when the relationship starts and your parents of course shape who you are so everyone who's in a relationship with you is in a relationship with you sorry do you mind muting you're doing a lot of background noise just while you're not talking if you're muted, That's weird. Kind of rude, but all right. So when you enter into a relationship, the person is in that relationship for who you are at the time that you enter the relationship.
[1:07:23] And when you change who you are, it destabilizes your relationships. So let's say that you were abused, but you don't think that you were abused, that you were just a bad kid and your parents were just trying to help you and blah, blah, blah, blah. That's why they beat you with the belt because you were rude and thoughtless and selfish and that they were good parents and they beat you with the belt because you were a bad kid and they were trying to make you better. Like you have all of that stuff, all of that propaganda from your parents and from society and all of that, right? So you have no self-empathy. In fact, you have self-contempt and you have a Stockholm syndrome, fuse, abuse relationship with those who did you the greatest harm that you've ever experienced. Or even if it's not they were trying to help you it's like well you know my mother was a single mother and my mother was um.
[1:08:15] Doing the best she could, and my father abandoned her, and, you know, she just got really stressed, so she shouted at us, but it was a very difficult life. Like, you make all these excuses, or rather even turn. So, you have empathy for everyone except yourself, and you have contempt for yourself. Well, my mother was so stressed. I didn't make her life any easier. She did lose it on me. That wasn't right, but, you know, my father put her in that position by leaving, whatever, right? And so, you have empathy and, quote, understanding for everyone except yourself, and that's just a survival mechanism. When you're surrounded by self-absorbed, selfish people, they demand that you have empathy for them, but you can never demand that they have empathy for you. And so you grew up managing, understanding, exploring, making excuses for everyone else, everyone else, everyone else, and none for yourself. None for you. You're like the mother bird who starves to death trying to feed her offspring. So you have no self-empathy. You only make excuses for other people, which was the requirement to be in a protective relationship like with your parents.
[1:09:22] Oh, yeah. Don't send a dollar. Don't send a dollar. Just for somebody who sent a dollar, please don't do that. Because if you're down to your last dollar, I need you to keep that money for Busfair to get a job interview or something like that. Please don't send a dollar. I feel wretched about it because if you're really that poor, don't send your money to me. You need to keep it for yourself so that you can get out of whatever hole you're in financially. So if you not do that. I would really appreciate it because it's kind of heartbreaking to think that you're down to your last dollar and I do not want it in any way, shape or form. You need to keep it for yourself so you can rebuild your life in whatever way you need to. So just wanted to mention that. So yeah, if you enter into relationships and you don't have any self-empathy and you only make excuses for others or praise others for beating you with a belt or something, then that's who they like? Who do they like? The person who has no self-empathy, but rather has self-contempt or pathological empathy for everyone else, but no empathy for the self, which is a non-UPB thing. If empathy is good, then empathy for the self, particularly when you were a child and had no control over your environment, really, empathy for the self is essential. So, if you get into a relationship with someone and you have no self-empathy or you have self-contempt, Then, when you start to deal with your bad childhood, well.
[1:10:46] You are starting to have self-empathy. Now, if they wanted someone who had self-empathy, they wouldn't have chosen you when you didn't have any self-empathy. I'm just going to say self-contempt because even making excuses for others is a form of self-contempt.
[1:11:00] So even if you say, well, I wasn't really a bad kid, but my mother was so stressed because of this, that, and the other, then you're saying I should have been nicer, I should have been more helpful, I should have been more understanding, I should have been more sympathetic, and you're still blaming. So both of these are, so I'm just going to say self-contempt, self-empathy.
[1:11:16] So if you have self-contempt then people are in your life because they like people who have self-contempt because you're easy to push around you got all these buttons you can be manipulated and providing resources or sex or jobs or or being a wingman or something like that right so you can provide a value because you got all these buttons if you have self-contempt you're just putting out this big red button saying you can control me by activating my self-contempt and people are then just preying on you they're exploiters because you got this big red button thump this, right? I mean, it's like people have then the choice, right? They get two vending machines, right? One vending machine, it's three bucks for a bag of chips. The other vending machine, you can just thump a button and get a free bag of chips. Well, people will go to the free vending machine because they don't want to pay three bucks for the bag of chips. So you are a big vending machine, big red button, self-contempt, hammer, hammer, hammer, give resources, give resources. So people are in you. They're in your life. They're in your relationship. They are related to you in a social way or a familial way, because you've got a big button called self-contempt that they can have to get resources. Now, if you take out that button and it's like, okay, well, if you want the bag of chips, you got to give me three bucks now. This is sort of Elon Musk, right? He had to say, okay, fine. You can get mad. That'll be $8 for a premium or whatever, right? So when you start charging rather than giving away for free.
[1:12:40] People, they don't like it, right? I mean, they don't like it. I remember there was an arcade, a video game arcade. It was like underground. And for some reason, I remember very clearly hearing the song, I want to see it my way. We have to keep on talking till we can't go on. We can work it out. Life is very, you know, that Beatles song. I remember hearing that song in the basement. It's a dark, dingy basement. I didn't have much money, but I used to enjoy watching the video games, and I liked watching people play. And there was this pinball game that was so old and creaky, you could put a quarter in, you could play for as long as you wanted.
[1:13:25] I mean, the bells and dings were just like dying Stuka planes fading from the sky. The bumpers were languid.
[1:13:39] The flippers barely worked. But basically, you could just play that as long as you wanted. And I like pinball. Actually, I liked pinball. It was a lot of fun. But in that game, I could go, and for a quarter, I could play for as long as I wanted. I mean, it wasn't the most exciting game, But, you know, for a quarter, you could get half an hour easy, very easy to play. And then they took it away. It's like, oh, man, this game, I barely had to put anything in and I could play forever. And they took it away. And now I got to go play Defender, which is like having a bag of angry hornets tied over your head and being shaken in a falling airplane. I got to go play Tempest. Oh, man, I got to go play Space War. I got to go play. I don't know what the one that was a game is really cool. It was a vector game and you had uh there was a ship in the middle with these rotating shields and they put the colored bands so the because vector was single color but they made it look like it was colored they put the color bands on the screen to fly around and shoot through these rotating uh screens uh rotating shields and it was a really cool game or asteroid boom boom boom, whatever it is and i i can't you know i've never been particularly good at those total twitch games i'm good at first person shooters but that's really about it i haven't played those in forever, But I have those free stuff. I could play pinball for hours on a quarter and then they took it away and it was a drag. And so when you have self-contempt, you're easy to get stuff from.
[1:15:04] Right? I mean, men look for women who have self-contempt so that they can hammer that button and get sex. Because they can provide a value of status or height or looks or something like that, that clavicular stuff. And then they can threaten to withdraw it and that activates the self-contempt and then the woman will sleep with them. It happens in the business world all the time where you get somebody who's got self-contempt, but it's an amazing producer and they just, they feast. It's like you're a dead rabbit in a sky full of crows. Come down and they'll tear you apart.
[1:15:41] So the biggest barrier to dealing with your child abuse, if you had child abuse, most of us do, then, and if it wasn't at home, it was at school. And if it wasn't at school, it probably was a church where you were told you were evil and sinful just for breathing. And you had to give 10% of your income to get an imaginary curse of original sin removed from you for the rest of your life, or you go and burn in hell forever, which is kind of psychotic. So you got it probably someplace. And even if you were raised in a perfect manner, you then have to go out into a crazy world, which is traumatic. So anyway, let's just say a lot of us or most of us have some form of abuse or dysfunction that we have to deal with. And the biggest barrier is people like you having self-contempt. And when you start to have self-empathy, they don't like you anymore because they can't get things for free.
[1:16:35] Self-contempt is installed in people so they can be exploited. It's a heuristic mechanism for the easy transfer of resources. And so when you start to have self-respect and you don't have a big button that allows everyone to hammer your vending machine and get your time, body, thoughts, creativity, wealth, and creativity for free, they don't like you anymore. And they'll just go find another vending machine that's got a big red button called self-contempt. Hammer, hammer, hammer, free, free, free. They don't want to trade. They want to get. And the way they get is you don't get your childhood. You don't understand your childhood. I say this again with great humility. It wasn't like I emerged from my teen years with a perfect knowledge of my childhood, right? This is hard-won lessons, man. This is brutal, hard-won lessons. So, I mean, you just have to think. right? You got a whole bunch of vending machines. Half of them take three bucks. Half of them are free. Bang, bang, bang. You just go to the free ones. And if they convert a free one to a paid one, you just go to another free one. You don't start putting money in the paid one when there are all the other freed ones. So people are just, they sniff like predators. They sniff like sharks in the water. They sniff for the big red button of self-contempt installed by a bad childhood.
[1:18:00] Ooh, this person has self-attack. Self-contempt is the willingness to self-attack. And if they can get you to attack yourself, they can get whatever resources they want, right?
[1:18:12] Because there's this remote button that puts out the self-taser of self-attack and because you don't want to self-attack, it's uncomfortable and you haven't dealt with that trauma. They'll just hammer that button, get a bunch of free shit from you, get you to do whatever they want, right? You don't want to see your mom, but if she calls you selfish and says you owe her, oh, well, I don't want to be selfish and I don't want to self-attack. I mean, I guess I'll go, blah, blah, blah, right? But then, when you have self-respect, And you say, no, I don't want to go. No. I can tell you why if you want. I don't want to go because you keep calling me selfish when I don't want to go, which is mean and terrible. And I don't like that.
[1:18:54] Right? Because we're not talking a bag of chips. We're talking about people's entire lives. Their entire lives are centered around exploiting others. They have adapted to that. They're predators. They're predators. And I think there's no better word. So they're predators. And they look for the prey. And the prey are those with a big red button called self-attack. And when you take away that button, I mean, they'll keep hammering it for a while. Man, I think that button's still here. I used to do this. Just shake it, tilt it, right? Tilt like a pinball, right? You'll get the free and then eventually they'll just get really angry and they'll just hammer in frustration. And if you've still got self-attack in you when people are hammering at you, right? I mean, the purpose of the media, right, was to get me to self-attack, right? Oh my God, maybe I am a bad person. Break it up. But that didn't happen because I dealt with my childhood, so. You can unmute if you want, and hopefully that's helped.
[1:19:59] Yeah, that was helpful. Were there any other potential barriers if you have gotten those people out of your life for a while now?
[1:20:10] What do you mean by barriers if you've gotten them out of your life? Just help me understand what you mean in particular.
[1:20:14] What you mean in particular? Well, I was listening to a couple shows recently. I noticed there's a lot of listeners calling in who have been in the conversation for a long time, and i'm assuming some of them have gotten some of the people out of the life minus of course the latest guy who i guess was like dating that girl and uh she was not uh virtuous philosophical or anything um so i guess the question just popped up in my mind like would there be any other things like i'm just trying to check if i've like made any mistakes or something if that makes sense i'm.
[1:20:43] Still that's not any more specific than your last comment and just what do you mean so you've gotten people out of your life, I mean, they may sabotage you. They may stalk you. They may like, you know, parents can do this, right? They just show up unannounced. They keep calling. They keep texting. They kind of encircle. They enlist other people to try and get you to put the button back on, put the big red. I mean, especially the parents who installed the red button, the parents who installed the big red button so they can hammer resources and get them from you for the rest of their lives they will get other people to install that button again right so they'll call your siblings they'll call your aunts your uncles they'll call your friends and say you know something weird is going on he's he's just something he's he's losing his mind he got wrapped up in some online internet blah blah like they'll just get all horrified and shocked and and you got to help and drama and and so yeah they will uh definitely um.
[1:21:40] They will often, they will often try to enlist other people into getting you back in line. You know, like if a farmer loses his prized cow and he can't find the prized cow, he's going to call all his friends and say, hey, you know, my cow wandered off. I'm desperate to get him back. You got to come and rope him in and we got to bring him back. Right. So, yeah, they'll often sabotage. They'll often stalk. They'll often enlist others because they've got 20 or 30 or more years invested in that big red button, and they've made their entire life decisions based upon the continuation of that big red button. And if that big red button goes away, well, they're going to do just about anything to bring it back. So yes, it definitely is a thing.
[1:22:31] Okay, thank you.
[1:22:32] You're very welcome. I appreciate that. And great calls. Great questions today. Look. Look. Ich bin ein Vater. What's on your mind, brother? Going once, going twice.
[1:23:01] I hear something, but not you.
[1:23:02] I'm here, sir. I'm here. You've been talking a lot today about truth, and in George Orwell's book, when telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act, it said a time has come because people are now being killed without due process in America for believing things which are truthful. Under the Arizona rule of the criminal procedure.
[1:23:26] Hang on, hang on, hang on. What do you mean? I'm not disagreeing. I'm just not sure what you're referring to.
[1:23:35] Yeah. Under the Arizona rules of criminal procedure, you can be accused of having delusions for having a sculptatory evidence for trial. Right now, it's being dosed with a theoretical maximum dose of Haldol because a number of psychologists have done proven acts of perjury. So one simple example is Dr. Krista Belinsky at the guidance center in Arizona said, my friend Adam Smith is delusional for thinking his judge is a gay rights activist. Now, the judge is on a signed open letter on lambardalegal.org, the people who sued the Christian bakeries for not picking up their cake pen and writing with their own hand, I support gay marriage. And he's doing gay rights activism to amend the Arizona lawyer's oath of office to honor gay rights. Now, is that gay rights activism?
[1:24:36] I mean, I really can't judge something I've heard for the first time. It certainly sounds in the vicinity. And so you're saying that his psychiatrist said that he was delusional for believing that the judge in a court case supported gay rights, though he felt he had evidence for that. And then the scientist was, sorry, the psychiatrist was able to drug him. Is that right?
[1:24:58] That's exactly right, and it's worse than that. Another psychologist did perjury, Dr. Deborah Pardy at the Guidance Centre. She claimed in her Rule 11 psych report that she listened to a court audio recording of my friend in a January 2025 hearing and claimed he was squealing or spurging about the Knights of Templar. I obtained that court audio recording, and he said no such thing. So if you, and the judge knew she was doing perjury because the judge in that case was in that audio recording.
[1:25:35] All right. So hold on a sec. Hold on a sec. So listen, I don't know the details of any of this kind of stuff. I can't put any particular judgment on it. Certainly sounds bad, but I'm getting your side of things. But of course, I'm not a legal show. I'm not a lawyer. So if you have a more philosophical question or comment, I think that would be more helpful.
[1:25:55] Yeah. You feel free to check out the most recent videos on my timeline about it. I did the last call with him before they lobotomized him. But in January, they put him in a dry cell with no water for him to kill him.
[1:26:10] What did I just ask?
[1:26:13] You're not a legal show and you can't talk about legal stuff, but basically what I'm saying is the concept of truth has been weaponized by psychology to stifle dissent. And what are your thoughts about this Orwellian future coming to pass as of now? It is now, they are now lobotomizing people without due process who are denied their right to a trial, a speedy trial by jury demanded from the onset after being in custody for years.
[1:26:44] Well, yeah, again, I can't speak to the details of this particular case. I have personally a somewhat une, and I say this because I think it's general, not because you all care about my sort of personal unease, but I have a kind of uneasy relationship with psychiatry as a whole, in that psychiatry or self-knowledge or focusing on prior trauma and so on has done some real good in the world. The child is the father of the man and so on, right? So I think in the examination of childhood and the origin story of adult dysfunction, I think psychiatry, more so psychology, because psychologists in most places can't prescribe or inflict medication. They can, I think psychologists can get people committed in extreme situations, which then puts them into the psychiatric brain medication, sort of the one flew over the cuckoo's nest kind of thing. So psychiatry, I have a pretty uneasy relationship with as a whole, because again, I think it's done some real good, but also it is very much a tool of control. And one of the things that has always been a challenge for psychiatry is that psychiatry in its best form is continually going up against child abusers. So back in the day, and I gave a whole speech on this in New York many years ago, and we can link to it in the show notes if you wouldn't mind, James.
[1:28:09] But Freud, Sigmund Freud, sort of father of psychiatry, was a horrible cocaine addict and a cocaine dealer who gave cocaine to his friends and wrote essays praising cocaine, so not ideal. But he was dealing with people who had severe somatization, which is the physical manifestation of emotional distress. Women who said they couldn't see, although their eyes reacted to light. Women who said they couldn't feel, even though the blood flow was fine and there was no nerve damage. And the big question of why do people go mad? Why are people so dysfunctional? Why are there borderline personality disorders? Why are there bipolars? Why are there, you know, this has been a huge and thorny question. And one of the things that Sigmund Freud quite quickly realized was that these children had been S-A'd as children. Sorry, I don't know. Apparently this is something you need to do. So they had been essayed as children by PDF files.
[1:29:14] And this is why they were, quote, hysterical, and why they had this extreme personality disorders and somatization of severe emotional distress as the result of these horrifying and evil experiences. And he began to write about this, and then he got in severe trouble.
[1:29:38] And his license was threatened to be taken away. I think he had six children and he was being kicked out of any high society in Vienna that he was a part of back in the day.
[1:29:48] And he folded. He folded. And he said, oh, okay, well, the children may have memories of very early sexualized experiences, but it's not real. It's just a wish fulfillment, which is where the Oedipus complex of the man wanting to sleep with his mother and the electric complex of the woman wanting to sleep with her father came from. He said that these memories of these early, absolutely horrifying experiences was just a dream, it was a fantasy, it was a wish, and so on. It wasn't real and horrendous. It was a real turning point in history. And I, of course, when I was under similar attacks for pointing out child abuse, I was just like, no, I'm not, I'm not folding. I'm not folding. I'm not crumbling. I am not ever going to say anything publicly or privately that I know to be false. I'm never going to affirm anything that I know to be false. I am not making this mistake again. I genuinely believe that if Freud had told the truth, World War I wouldn't have happened, but that's a causality chain for another time. So when I talked about child abuse and parental responsibility and societal responsibility for allowing the child abuse to continue, I got attacked in similar ways. And.
[1:31:11] I wasn't going to fold. I just not going to fold. I'm not going to, I mean, I'll go down to a smaller number of listeners because that gains me more listeners and more influence in the future. But I'm not folding. I mean, you've never heard me retract anything that is true. You've never heard me retract anything that is true. I will ride this into complete obscurity. If I end up just talking to a camera on my own, I will still not retract anything that I know to be true. I will not fucking do it.
[1:31:55] So, society, hit me, sorry, hit me with your question again. I want to make sure I stay on track. Are you still with me?
[1:32:16] Oh, he's coming gone. All right. So, sorry, if someone can type in, I went on a bit of a side quest. Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah, psychiatry. Yeah, yeah, sorry. I'm back. Okay. So, yeah, psychiatry is focused on why people go crazy.
[1:32:36] And the most important answer, assuming no biological underpinnings, right? Obviously, if a brain tumor, then you got to fix that with something other than talk therapy, right? So I'm not talking about whether etiology is physical or hormonal or dietary or something like that, right? So when people go, quote, crazy or dysfunctional or whatever it is, then the question is why? And this has been a huge question throughout human history and And a lot of times it is answered by devil's demonic spirits and so on. And then Freud began to actually get to the real answer, which is child abuse. And again, I'm talking about the non-physiological manifestations. However, when you start talking about child abuse, given that the majority of people in society around the world are child abusers, then you run up against every power structure known to man. Why does the government allow for child abuse to continue because people who are abused as children, don't handle freedom very well and are dysfunctional to the point where they need government resources and government welfare and government disability and and health care and so on right so i mean the guy who fixes broken legs is probably not going to spend a huge amount of energy and effort making sure people don't get their legs broken right so.
[1:34:05] It's not just parents, it's parents, extended family, schools, politicians, and so on. I mean, trillions of dollars of resources are transferred with this big red button hammer, right? The new one is the privilege, racism, and supremacy. And so you hit those red buttons and trillions of dollars get transferred. And so it's a very profitable button to install and maintain. So psychiatry is the path towards the liberation of the world from unjust authority through the identification of the initial manifestation of unjust authority which is abusive, neglectful parents, or people in authority over children however.
[1:34:56] Psychiatry is also relatively easy for power structures to co-opt, And when psychiatry is co-opted by the powers that be, it shifts from the exploration of child abuse to trying to shift everything towards the etiology of the physical, that it is a physical manifestation.
[1:35:21] So, if somebody were to say birth defects are the result of child abuse, that would be a pretty tough theory to sustain, right? Because they're born that way. And you could say, well, maybe something in the womb or something like that, which would be abusive. But let's just say the woman did everything right during the pregnancy, and then the child was born with a deformity. Thank you for the tip. Menorogen? Menorogen. Thank you for the tip. But if there was something with a purely physical basis, saying that that was a manifestation of abuse would be really bad. Would be really bad. Let's say your child has just bad vision, right? Like you and your wife have bad vision and your child has bad vision. And I remember I knew a girl once who had really terrible vision, but it wasn't really figured out until she was four or five and she was incredibly introspective because the outside world was just a big blur to her and she didn't even know until she got glasses. So if you and your spouse have bad vision and your kids are born, they just have bad vision and you take them to the autometrist, but you wouldn't say that's the result of abuse. That's just a physical manifestation of the genes and whatever it is, right?
[1:36:37] So, if you were to accuse good parents of abusing their children because their children had bad vision, that would be unjust. It would be a form of slander or a terrible libel against the parents, right? I mean, if you feed your children well and you get them good exercise and sunlight and then they turn out to be, the guy turns out to be five foot three, you wouldn't say that's the result of child abuse. That's just your genes, right? Height is like 100% genetic, assuming enough nutrition or eye color or whatever, right? So moving dysfunction from child abuse to physical causes, chemical imbalances in the brain, right, that you can fix with a pill, it's like diabetes, right? Insulin for diabetes, you're on it for the rest of your life. So psychiatry is on this razor's edge, man. It's on this absolute balance beam. Because if it goes and says a lot of this stuff comes from terrible parenting and a society that exploits and degrades children, I mean, national debts are literally selling your children into lifelong enslavement to foreign banksters. It is absolutely horrendous.
[1:37:54] And society views children as interchangeable asset robots that can be used as collateral for endless loans that destroy their futures, right? So we brutalize children, we put them in terrible schools, we drug them, we exploit them financially, we abort them by the millions. 40% of my generation was aborted. It's the greatest violent culling in the history of the world. Women since the 1970s have killed more people than all the wars throughout all of human history.
[1:38:33] So yeah, we're not good to kids. And psychiatry can point that out, but then when you point that out, every single power structure will try to destroy you because all of our power structures are rested like just giant inverted pyramids, all of our power structures are rested upon the neglect and abuse of children. Because if children are raised to be confident, secure, healthy, and happy, they don't need power structures. Power structures are there to prop up, they're like a crutch for people whose legs were permanently broken as children. You start to fix that, then the crutch manufacturers, so to speak, are not happy with you because their earnings are going to go into the toilet where their souls already are. So, psychiatry is liberating or enslaving on a regular basis. It can focus on child abuse and do great work that way. But those who focus on child abuse get attacked and their licenses are threatened and if they really do it, right? Uh, then it's a huge problem. And so.
[1:39:41] Psychiatrists are like cave explorers, like spelunkers, looking at the bowels and the bottom of the dungeons of child abuse and saying this is where the dysfunction as a whole is coming from. However, there is great pressure among psychiatrists or against psychiatrists to, transfer from child abuse to physical causes, brain chemistry, blah, blah, blah, right? And everyone greedily grabs at that because talking about child abuse is really tough. It threatens parent-child bonds. It destabilizes families. It destabilizes every power structure known to man.
[1:40:28] So, psychiatrists in general are divided into those who can liberate humanity by the exhumation of child abuse and those who've been seduced by pretty devilish forces into saying that mental dysfunction, is purely biological in its cause, chemical imbalance in the brain, here's a pill, and then everyone grabs at that greedily so that parents don't get confronted and children can just mask symptoms rather than deal with root causes. So I hope that helps and I'm going to stop with the calls here Sorry for the others, but I have a lot of text here that I wanted to go over. So I really do appreciate everyone calling in. Of course, we're back on Wednesday night, but let me get to, let's see here. Stef, I'd like you to know, says Robert, I'd like you to know that over the years, you have been a profound influence in my self-understanding and developments. You and a few others, Scott Adams, et cetera, I finally learned how to think. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. That is very kind.
[1:41:37] Uh, somebody says, sorry, I was testing. What do you think of El Salvador's Bukele approach? I think that's Bukele's El Salvador approach, right? To say it helped create the conditions for gangs and high crime over time, yet now it's dramatically reducing crime through mass incarcerations. Does this show the state creating problems and then solving them with more power, or is it something different happening here? Well, you can't fix, um, you can't fix violent criminals. You just can't. And so once somebody has been abused to the point where they have become a violent criminal, they've tipped over and it's a terminal condition for the most part, right? I mean, there's very, very... And so the problem is that women see all the way to people's childhoods and have sympathy for the child. And of course, criminals were mistreated as children, but not everyone who's mistreated as a child becomes a criminal. Men look at the victims of the adult criminal, women look at the childhood of the adult criminal and feel sympathy. And so the Buckele is simply taking the masculine approach that it doesn't matter how this person became dangerous, they're dangerous and need to be segregated from society. And it's very easy to get rid of violent crime. Very easy to get rid of violent crime. It's just a matter of willpower and understanding that it really doesn't matter why somebody became violent in terms of protecting society from them. and so on, right?
[1:43:02] Somebody says, I have a degree in psychology and managed a psych ward for years, not one group therapy session or any time I would mention the link to child abuse, to mental illness, every time that was met with hostility. Yeah, because once you're making money from selling pills, you don't want ideology of child abuse, right?
[1:43:28] All right, let me just see. If you're born into a violent, disingenuous society, says someone, then you'll adapt to survive in that environment. Very true. The amount of bullcrap excuses people come up with to avoid accountability is staggering. Well, it's not staggering if, you know, people do what works. Most people are hedonists and they'll simply do what works. And if excuses work, people will use them, right? Uh Stef is that why money just is that why men just give their money to only fans because they have self-contempt no giving money to only fans is a masturbatory aid because a woman who accepts gifts from you traditionally would be romantically or sexually interested in you so if you give a gift to a woman i mean if you if you give roses to a woman and she's got a boyfriend she'll say i can't accept these i have a boyfriend right so only fans is a masturbatory aid because it fools the unconscious into thinking that the attractive woman on the screen is actually interested in you because she accepted a gift from you. So it's just an addiction. All right.
[1:44:34] Stefan Molyneux's best advice. Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. I think that's from Oscar Wilde, but it's a good quote for sure. All right.
[1:44:50] Tupac. All right. I'm sorry. I'm going back quite a ways here. So I think I will stop here, but I really do appreciate everyone dropping by. Freedomain.com/books. You can get your physical books now if you want to avoid any future potential censorship and so on. Freedomain.com/books. Shop.freedomain.com for your merch and call.freedomain.com or freedomain.com/call to book a call. They're free and you can book them right there on the website. And I would look forward to chatting with you because they're free and very easy to book. You really have no excuse to not have a conversation with me if that's something to be of value for you if you want to keep it private you can pay which is fine too, and peacefulparenting.com lots of love I'm up here my friends thank you for an absolutely wonderful morning of philosophy and thought I hugely appreciate it and I feel very very honored that you ask these questions of me and I always hope that I do something valuable and useful and true and good in my responses and if there's anything else I can do better please let me know Remember, if you're a donor, the new movie is available in, we are in the fourth version for feedback, which I appreciate as well. Lots of love, my friends. Take care. freedomain.com/donate. Bye.
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