WHAT MEN WANT! Transcript

Chapters

0:00 - Men's Perception of Women's Desires
7:06 - Impact of Woman's Career on Motherhood
9:00 - Men's Control Over Children's Upbringing
12:33 - Importance of Transmitting Values to Children

Long Summary

This woman I encountered had an interesting perspective on what men supposedly want, believing that successful men desire a less intelligent, simpler partner to care for children while they provide. However, this notion strikes me as misguided. The crux of understanding what men want lies in recognizing their core role in procreation, aiming for a suitable mother for their offspring. It's not about wanting a dimwitted partner but rather seeking someone who can nurture and raise children effectively. This preference for a good mother is rooted in the evolutionary purpose of men and women - with women designed for birthing and men for assisting in that process.

Selecting a life partner isn't about finding a clone but rather someone complementary. Men want a partner who can prioritize family over personal ambition, especially when it comes to child-rearing. The idea of choosing a successful woman is not about squashing her achievements but ensuring that the values and virtues the man has worked hard to embody are passed down to the next generation. This transfer of values is crucial for creating a meaningful legacy and guiding children towards a virtuous path.

The conversation delves into the importance of having a partner who shares similar values and is willing to commit to raising children with dedication and care. Opting for a partner who prioritizes work over family can lead to a disconnect in values being passed down, potentially harming the upbringing of children. Success, in the eyes of men, isn't just about personal achievements but about laying down a foundation for future generations to thrive and carry forward the values that have been deemed significant.

It becomes evident that men seek a partner who aligns with their desire to raise children in a nurturing environment where shared values can flourish. The perspective offered emphasizes the importance of choosing a life partner based on their potential to contribute to a meaningful familial legacy rather than mere personal success. Ultimately, the crux of the matter lies in the desire to ensure that the values and virtues acquired through hard work and dedication are not lost but passed on to the next generation with care and intention.

Transcript

[0:00] Men's Perception of Women's Desires

[0:00] So I was just this woman and she's, you know, I'm beautiful. I run my own business and I have to fight all day with my consultants and I'm beautiful and I run my own business and all this, right? And she's like, I was talking with a friend of mine and she says, well, the men, the successful men, the high value men, the high status men, they just want a stupid woman, like a dumb blonde to come home and to, and to have a simple life and, and this, that, and the other, right? It and you know it's just wild to me it's it's a wild thing to me that a woman can have that women as a whole just have so little idea what men want i mean it's it's just it's it's like a form of of sort of magical superstition stuff that is going on like they're just making up oh to me what is you know just completely crazy stuff and what do the men want they just want a stupid woman and they don't want a woman who has boss babe vibe. I have masculine energy at work, but when I come home, I just want cuddles and sex. It's like, oh my gosh. I mean, I don't know how to fundamentally. Okay, I mean, before you ask what men want, you have to ask what are men for, right? Well, men are for the making of babies. And you know, that's really what we're designed for. Women are for the making of babies and men are for the making of babies.

[1:26] Sexual dimorphism for the win. So it's to me strange, well, it's such a mystery what the men want. It's like, it's not a mystery at all. What men want, if we're going to, you know, settle down and get married, what men want, now, this is not all men and, you know, the things can go awry and you can get traumatized and stuff, but what men want is a good mother for their children. That's what we want. We want a good mother for our children. That's what we want. I mean, otherwise, you're just playing house, you're roommates, you know, whatever. Like, you can get married. Marriage is for children. And yes, you can get married. If you're not going to have kids, that's fine. And you can ride a bicycle on the road, but it's built for cars, right? You're just there as an incidental traveler. So, you know, what do men want is such a mystery. It's not a mystery at all. We want a good mother for our children.

[2:18] And, and we have seen what it's like when a family has a mother, who's not a good mother to the children. Like we've seen our mothers, we've seen our fathers, we've seen the mess, we've seen the stress, we've seen the problems, we've seen the alienation, we've seen the distance, we've seen the coldness, we've seen the, like everything just bad has happened. So we've, you know, we're a couple of generations into boss babe stuff. And it's like, so what are you looking for? And it's like women get these fake boobs and put on lots of eyelashes and makeup and go to the gym. And like, that's fine, I guess. Well, not the fake boobs or too much makeup. Going to the gym is fine. But it's like, well, what do men want? It's like, okay, so a high quality man, like let's say I'm, you know, this high quality super duper guy, right? So I look at a woman like that. And is she pretty? Yeah, she's very pretty. Is she ambitious? Absolutely. Is she successful? Good for her. Like, congratulations. I think that's wonderful. I got no problem. With, of course, women being successful in their chosen careers. And that's great. You know, nothing but love for all of that. So a woman who's that driven, who's that ambitious, she has multiple degrees. She's got a MBA. She's got a master's in business administration. So she's very driven. Fantastic. You know, good for her. You know, if I wanted to go into business with someone, she might be first on the list. But that's not what we're looking for.

[3:39] He is afraid I will compete with him. It's like, no, no. Men thrive on competition. We love competition. My wife and I compete on who can do the most thoughtful things. It's beautiful. We love competition. Trust me, men are not afraid of competition. But I'm this high quality guy. I look at a woman like that and I say, okay, so we're both going to be working crazy hours and she's going to be really wrapped up in her business. She's going to have all of these outside competing interests and she's not going to be a good mother for the children. So what if I say to her, listen, we're going to have kids. Let's have three kids. I'd like you to stay home for 10 to 12 years.

[4:19] Stay home and be a good mom, like, and really get down on the floor and play with them and take them to the park and read to them and engage with them and, you know, love them and mother them and so on, right? Are you going to be a good mother for my children? I don't need your money, right? I mean, it's not like I'm short of money. As if I'm this high quality guy, I don't need your money. I don't need your success. And I need you to focus on our children. Now, of course, before, right, it's going to be my children, right? A man's going to think about what's of benefit. Are you going to be a good mother for my children? And, you know, I'm not sure why this is complicated. I'm not sure why this is complicated.

[5:04] So a woman, I don't know if it's a funny thing where she says, like, I am an ambitious man, an ambitious, driven, highly educated, successful man. And once an ambitious, driven, highly educated, successful woman, it's like, Like, no, that would be narcissistic. I want someone who's a mirror image of me. The only thing I can like and admire is me with boobs. And it's like, that's narcissistic. Why would anyone who's a highly successful man, why would he want a man with boobs? Why? It's, you know, no hate to our good gay friends, but, you know, it's to think that a woman wants a man, The woman thinks a man is just looking for a man, but in a woman's body. It's like, well, no, because we're looking for something different. You know, straight men, right? We're looking for something different than us in a female form, because that would not be particularly heterosexual, to put it mildly, right? Right. So, again, it does remain just a little tiny bit confusing to figure this stuff out. Why is this so hard to figure out?

[6:16] Why are men attracted to women? Right. Why are men attracted to women? Because we make children. Right. I mean, it's how we evolved. And you can sort of say all you want about, yeah, but this is sort of, this is how we evolve, right? This is how we've evolved. We've evolved to choose good mothers for our children. Because if we didn't choose good mothers for our children, we would not be successful as men, right? Why does a man become successful? A man becomes successful primarily to provide resources for his children.

[6:55] That's why a man becomes successful, to provide resources for his wife and his children. So if the woman is working and providing her own resources, then she's not going to be a good mother.

[7:06] Impact of Woman's Career on Motherhood

[7:07] Certainly she won't be as good a mother as she would be if she was home with the children. So then what happens is if a man has a woman who's like a man, that ambitious, that driven. And again, it's great that women do that. I have no problem with women who do that. I'm just saying it's not what men want if you're going to get married and have a family.

[7:30] So what's going to happen is the man is going to be providing resources to a woman who's not his wife. See, that's not appealing to a man, right? So a man will then be providing resources to a woman like a nanny or some daycare, blah, blah, blah. He's then going to be providing resources to a woman who's not his wife, who's going to be raising his children. Now, if when you choose the woman who raises your children, you choose the values that your children have, right? That makes sense, right? Right. If you if you choose when you choose the woman who's going to be the mother of your children, you then you choose the values that your children will be exposed to. Right. So if you choose a Catholic woman to raise your children and she raises your children, then by golly, your children are going to be raised Catholic. Right. If you choose a secular woman, blah, blah, blah. Right. So a man is choosing the values that get transmitted to his children when he chooses the mother of his children. We understand this is not overly complicated. Now, if a woman says, well, I don't want to raise your children, then, unfortunately.

[8:51] The man is no longer in control of who is raising his children. He's no longer in control.

[9:00] Men's Control Over Children's Upbringing

[9:01] He's no longer in control of the values that his children are exposed to that form his children, his children's minds. Now, that job is outsourced, and he has no particular control over what's going to be happening with regards to his children and how they're raised. Because now it's some other woman that he's providing resources. You can say, oh, well, the mother is providing resources as well and all that. I get all of that. I get all of that.

[9:32] It's just a bad situation as a whole, because the man is providing resources to a woman so that she can transfer his values to his children. Now, I mean, it's her values too, but you choose compatibility of values for this particular reason and purpose, right? Right. So the purpose of a man's success is to transfer values to his children, which means that he chooses a wife who shares his values, and then she transfers those values to his children. And that's called his legacy. Right. That's his legacy. That's what, that's what he wants. That's what he wants. Now, if it's a woman who doesn't want to raise his children, then he has to get someone else to provide the values for his children. And he's no particular control over that. I mean, I guess if you choose a nanny, you have some control over it, but the nanny is typically younger, doesn't have any life experience. And it's really complicated to try and get a nanny to provide these kinds of values.

[10:44] So that's not particularly good. If he goes to a daycare, then it's really out of his control. And so the man who is successful has a particular set of values and an ethos and a way of being in the world and you know the more free market generally the more virtuous you have to be to be successful like you have to be trustworthy you have to be honest you have to keep your promises you have to have handshake deals that are as good as as iron and you have to be reliable and they have to be hard working so there's a lot of values that you want to transfer, to your kids because really what's the point of having all these values and these virtues and being successful what's the point of that if it just turns out that those values don't get transferred to the next generation because you've got some 20 year old au pair or nanny who doesn't share these values doesn't know how to communicate them or some daycare teacher you know making 12 bucks an hour who can't transfer these values so then you're you're basically preying on the success of the next generation for a couple of extra bucks in the here and now that's just not what we're looking for. We're looking to transfer our values and our virtues to the next generation. And that means having a wife who shares our values, who stays home with and educates the children, right? This is not super complicated, right? We can understand all of this, I think, very, very easily, right?

[12:10] So then there's no particular purpose or point in having a boss babe woman who's going to toss your kids in daycare and thus interrupt the flow of wisdom and virtues from you to your kids. In other words, you're crippling your children by having another woman who doesn't particularly share your values raise your children.

[12:33] Importance of Transmitting Values to Children

[12:34] That's not something that successful men want. We want to transfer our values to the next generation. Otherwise, we're crippling them. And we're exploiting the next generation by having kids, but not transferring our virtues and our values to them. So we look at the boss, babe. And, you know, again, I think it's great, you know, more power to you. Good for you. Well done. Excellent. No problem. It's just not what a successful man wants to marry as a whole, because his life just gets stressful and difficult and the values aren't transferred to the next generation. And he ends up with kids who are kind of alienated. Who don't share his values, and who have been kind of programmed by other people into their mindset or no mindset, which is often the case. And so a man who is successful desperately wants a successful woman to raise his children, right? He desperately wants a successful woman to raise his children.

[13:33] Because if he can't get a successful woman to raise his children, then he can't transmit the values of success down to his kids.

[13:42] Women who take care of other people's children when they're young, those women tend not at all to be particularly successful. I'm not saying they're terrible people or you understand, but you know, I mean, I worked in a daycare, the women who were daycare teachers, I mean, unless they were just students passing through, in which case you don't have much life experience and can't transmit many values. But the women who were working there sort of full-time, they were not successful women because the pay was very low. And some woman who's a nanny, she's a young woman, she's a nanny, she's not particularly successful because if she was particularly successful, she'd be raising her own kids or having some job or whatever it is. So we men, we want a successful woman to transmit our values. Now, we say, ah, yes, but the boss babe is a successful Yes, but she can't transmit our values or productive values to the kids because, of course, she's working. She's taking calls. She's dealing with clients. She's serving everyone but her children. So, men, we don't want women who serve everyone but her children because then our legacy dies with us. And we've then paid for a bunch of other people to raise our kids, not transferring our values, not transferring our virtues. And it's kind of selfish. It kind of cripples other kids.

[15:02] It cripples our kids in the hot pursuit of life's success and goodies. So we're just looking for someone who's going to stay home with the kids and transmit our values. Now you say, oh, yes, but the woman is ambitious and this and that and the other. It's like, okay, so if the woman is ambitious, again, that's fine. But a really, really materialistic, hardworking, hard-driven, entrepreneurial and ambitious woman...

[15:26] Not to be people who are going to be fantastic at raising our children because they're always going to want to be working. They're always going to be doing something else and they're going to be taking calls or they're going to be frustrated or they're going to be, you know, looking at everybody else's successful LinkedIn profiles and getting frustrated that they're just home and they just wouldn't be, it's not particularly compatible, right? It's just not particularly compatible and it's not particularly good. And so the boss babes, if you say, I want you to stay home for 10 to 12 years to raise the children. And, you know, maybe longer if we homeschool, she's not going to want to do that. And again, I have no problem with that. That's totally fine. But then the man can't have a legacy, right? The man does not have a legacy. He can't have a legacy, right? And if he can't have a legacy, then what's the point of it? What's he working for? Is he working? What's he working for? And men who are successful tend to who have worked very hard to become successful. They've sacrificed a lot. They've got a lot of education. They've done business travel, which is less fun than it seems after a while. They've got a lot of education. They've taken continuing courses. They've been working, you know, 60, 70, 80 hours a week. Well, what's for? Well, for the next generation, for kids and all that. So maybe this is confusing for people. I'm not exactly sure why.

[16:44] But men and women are different. And a man who's very successful wants a woman who's going to transmit his values virtues and legacies to his children so he has a reason to work otherwise it just gets kind of hedonistic pointless empty and boring and useless, and stressful and who wants that nobody wants that nobody wants that all right i hope this helps thanks a lot let me know your thoughts talk to you soon bye.

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